The Espada's Masquerade
by pago
Summary: Surviving the Winter War was easy, all things considered. Trying to hide from the Seireitei by masquerading as a human and surviving having a Grade-A moron for a roommate? Not so much... Ch. 38: Three Months **COMPLETE**
1. Halibel's Hell

**_Author's Introduction:_** Yep, another story with an OC, this time centered around some surviving Espada. As opposed to my last story, characters will probably end up OOC frequently. This will be set in the same AU I established in my previous story, _The Winter War: Anrak's Tale_, starting just a few months prior to the epilogue of _Winter War_ and will in some ways serve as an indirect sequel.

**_Characters:_ **Halibel, Starrk, Ulquiorra, Lilynette, Grimmjow and an OC to start with. Kisuke, Isshin, Ichigo, and some others will likely appear as time goes on. Neliel and Anrak will show up later.

**_Warnings:_** Very strong language (expect F-bombs from Grimmjow on a regular basis), occassionally suggestive dialogue/situations, violence... The usual, pretty much.

* * *

**Halibel's Hell**

Hell.

A common misconception that humans held about Hell was that it was a deep pit of fire and brimstone, a place of demons and pain that one was sentenced to after their death as punishment for their sins in the world of the living.

The truth was _so_ much closer to home than most people realized, but Halibel was one of the precious few who knew the truth.

Hell was the third rock from the sun.

Hell _was_ the world of the living.

More precisely, her personal corner of Hell was a beautiful tenth-floor apartment with a positively stunning view of the rest of the city and, beyond that, the ocean and it's scenic blue waves.

Hell was living in a gigai and pretending to be human, bowing and scraping to every stupid law and custom the fleshy mortals clung to in order to appear normal and hide from the Soul Society. Hell was working an annoying job with even more-annoying customers, and then coming home from _that_ to an idiotic roommate whose very face reminded her of Hueco Mundo and Aizen's betrayal.

She scowled at her thoughts from behind her white scarf as she stalked down the sidewalk heading towards "home."

Six months ago, if someone had told her that _this_ would be her life, she would have laughed.

And then very possibly killed them.

The Winter War was finally over, having ended a couple of weeks ago according to her sources, though for herself and the others, it had come to an end almost a month prior to that when they had nearly died fighting for "Lord" Aizen, the treacherous bastard who used them all and then discarded them like trash.

Even Ulquiorra, who had been Aizen's most loyal and obedient servant, had been surprised by the betrayal.

Not that the pasty-faced, emotionless bastard would ever actually _admit_ to it, though.

Salvation for the former Espada had come, painfully enough, in the form of one of their former comrades; someone who had developed a distrust of Aizen early on and had fled the palace of Los Noches under threat of pain and death after trying to warn the others, constantly moving from the near-endless deserts to the Menos Forest and back again to avoid the extermination squads.

And then he had come back to try and find his "pack" when the Soul Society invaded Hueco Mundo…

The story as she understood it was that the former-_sexta_ Espada had found his successor first, a broken and battered Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, and had quickly bandaged his wounds to prevent further blood loss, saving his miserable life.

Halibel wished her roommate had simply left Grimmjow alone; the blue-haired sociopath was nothing but trouble that would only hurt the group's chances for successfully integrating into human society and bring the Soul Society down on them all.

Ulquiorra had been found next, albeit barely; the arrancar had followed the _cuarto_ Espada's reiatsu to the top of the great dome of Los Noches and found nothing left but a pile of black ash. He had just about been ready to leave when the ash begin to stir and reform, slowly regenerating into the pale number four.

Cifer was at least a useful one to save, Halibel thought; his lack of emotion could be frustrating, but his always-clear head and unfailing logic would be a great asset to them all. How fortunate they were that when that foolish human girl had tried to save him against all odds, she had succeeded…even if his body hadn't begun to re-grow until _after _her departure.

A sharp whistle directed at her as she opened the door to the apartment complex caught her attention, and she had to restrain herself to keep from tearing the ignorant male's head off as he eyed her body up and down from her short blond hair down to her long legs, visibly pausing to stare at her chest lecherously. He even smacked his lips perversely as he undressed her with his eyes.

It didn't matter that it was still technically winter and that she was dressed head to toe for the cold weather; human men were _still_ disgusting pigs.

Deciding to ignore him before the urge to simply _murder_ him became too great to resist, Tia walked through the open door and into the lobby, and seeing that the elevator already had several people in it, opted to take the stairs as she returned her thoughts to her companions.

Starrk had been the next find, and with him, Lilynette, both lying in the rubble of the false Karakura town as they bled out from their extensive wounds.

Halibel wasn't entirely sure _how_ they had survived, but she was grateful for the presence of the _primera_ Espada; Starrk may have been one of the laziest creatures to ever exist, but he was intelligent and observant, and his laid-back demeanor was a welcome change of pace from Ulquiorra's no-nonsense approach and Grimmjow's psychotic desires for mayhem.

If only she could say the same for her roommate…

Come to think of it, Halibel wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed to save her, either; her impact with the ground combined with the wounds Aizen had inflicted had left her unconscious, a darkness that she'd never expected to wake from, and the details of her recovery had been omitted just like Starrk's. All the _tercera_ Espada knew was that when she _did_ finally came to, she was alive and mostly healthy, and in the giant training area underneath the Urahara Shop, staring up at an artificial blue sky not too dissimilar from the one in Los Noches.

Ah, Kisuke Urahara, the ex-shinigami and former Captain of Squad 12 turned lowly shopkeeper…

It had apparently been Ulquiorra's idea to seek out Orihime Inoue in the human world, and then it had been _her_ idea to go beg the ex-shinigami for assistance.

The human girl had pleaded their case passionately, that they had all been used as pawns by Aizen and wanted nothing more than to "disappear" and live a quiet life. Her words had apparently struck a chord within the strange man, and he had supplied them all with reiatsu-masking gigais, and even went as far as loaning them just enough money to get a "fresh start on life."

He claimed the money came from owning several patents in the world of the living, but the Soul Society was known to have several bank accounts that were maintained for extended missions to the human world, and Ulquiorra had suspected that at least _some_ of it had been skimmed from those bank accounts.

Not that any of them had objected to _that _in the slightest.

The gifts had come with a warning, though; play nicely with the humans, or else he would expose their existence to the Seireitei and let the Gotei 13 deal with them.

Grimmjow had refused at first, declaring that he'd rather go to war against the entire Seireitei by himself than to hide amongst the "filthy humans." Despite their best efforts, it quickly became clear that no amount of logic and reason would convince the _sexta_ to swallow his pride and behave.

Halibel wasn't anxious to die, however, and when her patience had finally reached it's end, she had dealt with the situation quickly and efficiently by beating him into the ground mercilessly with the promise of death if he should somehow manage to screw them all over.

That singular impromptu act had apparently convinced Urahara that the group of refugees was genuine in it's desire to escape the war and their past, and had driven him to be their guide in finding jobs and homes.

The males had found jobs working the dayshift at a new fast-food restaurant at the other end of town, with Ulquiorra serving as their shift supervisor. Truthfully, the _cuarto_ Espada was the most educated and intelligent among the entire group, and could have easily found another, better job with a few forged documents and degrees from Urahara, but he had voluntarily taken on the task of babysitting the other three to make sure they kept out of trouble.

_A noble sacrifice_, she mused.

Halibel had found a decent job as a bartender in a fairly trendy little bar, working the dayshift in order to avoid the larger crowds that would be found in the bar after nightfall. It was a nice place to be sure, but a bar was still a bar, and she didn't want too many drunken men trying to grope her, lest she finally lose her temper and kill someone.

At least the tips were nice, even if they did usually come with a note containing an unwanted phone number…

Lilynette had been enrolled at a human school as she wasn't old enough to have a job, and there was no way anyone would _ever_ believe Starrk was responsible enough to home-school her.

At least Urahara had taken care to see to it that Lilynette didn't end up at Kurosaki's school, as that would quickly blow their cover.

Finding homes hadn't been too much trouble either with Urahara's help, although Orihime had somehow talked Ulquiorra into staying at her house in the spare room that had once been her brother's. It seemed as though the silly girl was still determined to help the _cuarto_ understand what it meant to be human and have a heart…

In the long, sad history of 'most hopeless tasks ever conceived,' Halibel certainly ranked _that_ as being at the top of the list.

Grimmjow had settled on a small, dingy apartment in a run-down rat-infested building in one of the worst sections of town, citing that the neighborhood looked "fun."

The others had promptly made a pact that if and when Grimmjow broke the "no killing humans" rule, they would disavow all knowledge and leave him to fend for himself if possible, or they would deal with him personally; there was only so much they could do, and they had to look out for their own survival, regardless of how reckless their resident thug might be.

Starrk and Lilynette found a decent little apartment several blocks away from Grimmjow, a clean place just big enough for a man who was stuck raising his "baby sister" all on his own, and not a soul had questioned his story.

And then Halibel had found a nice complex with a beautiful apartment on the tenth floor…but it was a two bedroom place and a bit outside of her price range…

The most obvious solution had been to find a roommate, and the most obvious choice had been the last remaining member of their little group, the one who had taken the time to find and rescue everyone, the one who had once been outcast from Los Noches for being a traitor…

Tyn.

Halibel had _thought_ everything would be fine, had thought that they could co-exist peacefully since he wasn't as bad as Grimmjow, but almost a month and a half of living together had taught her one very important thing…

She had thought _wrong_.

The red-headed fool was constantly having a hard time adjusting to human society and all of it's interesting gadgets and devices, had managed to foul up a task as simple as the laundry, screwed up the weekly shopping, had already broken one television, _and_ had somehow managed to set fire to an entire loaf of bread while trying to make toast one morning…

His portion of the rent enabled Halibel to afford her lovely little apartment, but his very presence irritated her to no end, and barely a day went by that she didn't find herself insulting him or yelling at him for something or another.

And the worst part of it all was that he simply smiled and took the abuse in good humor.

How utterly _pathetic_.

Oh sure, he occasionally took light-hearted jabs at her and she realized that he was _trying_ to be friendly and civil, but for some reason his antics only pissed her off further, and Tia didn't even understand _why_.

Maybe, she thought, it was his lack of good judgment and impulsive behavior.

Or maybe she just couldn't stand dinosaurs.

Each of the Espada could be linked with an animal of some sort: Tia the Shark Queen, Ulquiorra the Demon Bat, Grimmjow the Panther Lord, Starrk the Lone Wolf, and at the very end of the list was Tyn, the Raptor Prince.

Ulquiorra had proposed that it was Tyn's bestial side that led to him endure Halibel's "abuse" and had driven him to try and save the others, that he instinctually craved a pack to belong to and was willing to do whatever was necessary to make that happen.

Tia was willing to concede that the latter may be true, but as to the former… She wouldn't call it "abuse," not exactly; it was more like shock therapy, except with much more yelling and the occasional fist to his stupid face. Really, it was just an aggressive way of trying to educate the moron…

Ulquiorra would probably rephrase it as an "unnecessarily" aggressive method, but then again, _fuck_ Ulquiorra; _he_ didn't have to live with Tyn and had absolutely no right to criticize the situation.

She exited the stairwell at the tenth floor and headed down the hall towards her shared apartment, only to be ambushed by the little girl who lived across the hall, her eyes red and puffy from excessive crying, most likely over something foolish like a misplaced toy.

"My cat…" she sniffled, "I can't find Bungie! Miss Halle Belle, have you seen Bungie?"

Halibel bit back a scowl at how the girl butchered her name as she removed her scarf from around her neck and face.

"No, I'm afraid not…" she said slowly, trying to be nice. "And please, it's okay to just call me 'Tia.'"

"Miss Tia, what if he ran away? What if he's dead?"

Oh, the urge to roll her eyes was strong there…

"I'm sure he's fine…" Halibel said, giving her best attempt at a comforting smile as she tried unsuccessfully to remember the child's name, "He's probably just off doing…whatever it is cats actually _do_. He'll be home soon."

"You think so?" asked the brat hopefully, rubbing her eyes again.

"Mhm… The best thing you can do for him right now is to go home and wait for him."

She froze in place and barely managed to suppress her natural urge to fight back as the girl suddenly hugged her tightly, thanking Halibel before disappearing back into her apartment.

The _tercera_ Espada shuddered at having been touched by a human whelp as the door shut before continuing down the hall to her own apartment.

She wasn't terribly surprised to see that Tyn had beaten her home since she had worked a little overtime today, but she wasn't exactly pleased to see him, either. He called out a "hello" that she didn't bother to answer as she made her way to the kitchen, dropping her keys on the table and retrieving a bottle of water from the refrigerator. She tore the label from the bottle and tossed it in the garbage, noticing a strip of red fabric with a metal tag resting on top of the other garbage as she did so.

A collar.

She reached inside the trash can and pulled it out, noting the spots of dried blood on the material as she read the engraved tag.

_Bungie_.

God damn it, what had that brain-dead moron done _now_?

"I ran into the little girl from across the hall when I came in…" Tia began conversationally, trying valiantly to keep from yelling at him. "Apparently, her cat is missing… You haven't seen it lately, have you?"

"Nope." said Tyn easily, never once removing his eyes from the television screen and whatever movie he was watching. Halibel balled up her fists as she looked at the back of his head and his short, spiky crimson hair, seriously contemplating bashing his skull for actually having the audacity to _lie_ to her.

"Explain this, then." she said instead, walking over to stand behind him and dropping the bloodied collar into his lap.

He turned to look at her, but failed to answer the question, and Halibel could literally _see_ that he was searching for an excuse to hide behind.

She wasn't surprised that he'd killed the creature, exactly; he had _always_ hated that overly-fluffy furball ever since they moved in, and had even threatened to hurl it off of the balcony more than once. The only question now was what the idiot had actually done with it…

…and then a sickening thought occurred to her.

"You ate the cat." she accused him.

"I ate the cat." he agreed, sounding surprisingly proud of himself.

"_Why_ did you eat the cat?"

"I've always hated that stupid cat." he said, echoing her earlier thoughts as he turned back to watch the television.

"You hated it…so you _ate_ it?"

"Seemed less wasteful that way… Don't be mad; I saved you some. Look behind the milk."

God, no…surely he didn't…

Halibel stormed back into the kitchen and flung the refrigerator door open and moved the milk aside…and sure enough, there was a bloody chunk of meat, a hind leg by the looks of the bone sticking out of it, waiting to be eaten.

…well, at least he'd had the decency to put it in a little plastic bowl instead of leaving it on the shelf to bleed everywhere.

"That's disgusting." Tia growled, slamming the door shut again and exiting the kitchen as she massaged her skull to try and ease the sudden, massive migraine that had set in.

"More for me, then." shrugged Tyn, and Halibel suddenly grabbed his hair and yanked his head backwards roughly, forcing him to look up at her instead of his stupid movie.

"Next time you get the insane urge to kill something, for _any_ reason… Don't. Just _don't_." she hissed down at him.

"But I was hungry…"

Tia released the idiot, too frustrated and exhausted to even bother pointing out that he worked at a goddamned burger joint and could have easily brought something home with him rather than eating the neighbor's pet.

"Oh, come on, we're _both_ creatures from a moral vacuum; don't tell me _you_ never get the urge to kill things anymore!" Tyn defended himself, and Tia narrowed her green eyes further in anger.

_If only you knew…_ she thought bitterly, refusing to grace him with an actual answer.

Still massaging the sides of her head, Halibel plopped herself down at the opposite end of the couch, as far from Tyn as possible. Between them were the small couch pillows, all piled up on the center cushion to serve as a barrier between the two, a so-called No Man's Land that neither party ever dared to breach.

"What the hell is this garbage?" asked Tia finally after watching the screen for a few minutes, reaching for the empty blu-ray case on the glass coffee table in front of them.

"Picked that up on the way home today; thought you might like it."

"_Jaws_?" she asked, reading the title on the cover.

"It's right up your alley, Tia; it's all about a shark with PMS!" teased Tyn with a mean-spirited grin, which served only to irritate Halibel further as she curled up her lip in anger and growled at her moronic roommate.

"I hate you."


	2. Being Human Sucks

**Being Human Sucks**

Burger World.

"You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy…" Kisuke had joked when they'd told him about their new job, an obscure reference to a movie of some sort, but Ulquiorra had failed to recognize it.

Although, as he listened to his companions talk, he concluded that Urahara may have been more correct than he'd ever known…

"I don't get _why_ she's so mad at me…" Tyn was saying, "I mean, it was just a stupid cat."

"Why did you eat the fucking cat?" asked Grimmjow in a low growl, a faint twitch in his eye that told Ulquiorra the _sexta_ was about to do something violent.

"I _hate_ cats: they're stupid, self-centered, and completely useless."

"I'll show _you_ 'stupid,' you son of a-" roared Grimmjow as he lunged forward, only to have Ulquiorra catch him by the back of his shirt collar and yank him backwards before shoving a mop into his hands.

"Clean the dining room, Grimmjow."

"The hell I will! I'm going to smash his godda-" ranted the blue-haired Espada, but the pale number four silenced him with a glare that spoke louder than words ever could.

_Clean the dining room, or else_.

Still cursing under his breath, a sulking Grimmjow took the mop and headed out to the empty dining room as Ulquiorra directed Tyn to return to the grill and Starrk to the drive-through window. For himself, the _cuarto_ finished preparing his lunch and retreated into the small manager's office to eat in peace.

He _could_ have brought something from home; there were plenty of leftovers in Orihime's fridge since she usually cooked enough for a small army, and she'd even volunteered to make him something fresh for lunch before she left for school…

Ulquiorra was too respectful of a guest to come out and actually _say_ that in any other environment Orihime's cooking would be considered a weapon of terror, but he wasn't willing to eat any more of it than he positively _had_ to, either. Greasy hamburgers and slightly-overcooked chicken nuggets weren't exactly his meal of choice, but with all things considered…

Logic dictated that sooner or later he would grow used to the…_uniqueness_ of the woman's cooking, which was simultaneously comforting and frightening; ice cream, he thought, should not burn one's mouth, and pudding should not be a soupy, filmy mess.

Better than eating domestic animals, he supposed.

"Hey, Starrk," he heard Tyn saying outside the office, "you know, these nuggets taste _exactly_ like cat."

Ulquiorra paused and looked down at the small, crispy piece of "chicken" still in his hand.

_It can't be…_

But then again, Burger World _did_ boast the cheapest chicken in town by far, though he'd never before given an ounce of thought as to where it all came from, or if it was as "100% natural" as the boxes in the freezer proclaimed.

He eyed the now-suspicious piece of meat dubiously, weighing his options.

And then, after careful consideration of the alternative, ate the nugget anyway.

The chicken finished, he moved on to his oh-so disgustingly-greasy cheeseburger, picking it up and staring at it for a long moment.

It was times like this that he found himself _almost_ longing for his days in Los Noches…

Still, better this than bringing in a lunch prepared by Orihime… He just hoped that the "beef patty" was, in fact, beef.

Being an "emotionless prick," as Halibel called him, had it's advantages; it allowed him to keep a straight face while Orihime regaled him with her horrendous ideas for new recipes, enabled him to endure Grimmjow's impulsive tendencies without losing his temper, and it allowed him to slowly eat this disgusting piece of trash that humans called food _without_ vomiting.

Ulquiorra was half-finished with his hamburger when he heard a splashing sound out in the dining room, followed by an explosive burst of swearing from Grimmjow.

He sat the burger down and quickly cleaned his fingers off with a napkin before stepping out of the office to see what the moronic number six had done this time.

"I just _cleaned _that shit!" bellowed Grimmjow at a customer, a human teenager who was wincing underneath the Espada's fury.

A simple mistake was all it was, that much was obvious to Ulquiorra; the teen had unfortunately spilt his soda across the table he'd been sitting at, and he appeared to be genuinely sorry for the mess.

"I'm sorry, man; look, _I'll_ clean it up, okay?" he offered.

A more than generous gesture, really, since cleaning was Grimmjow's task anyway.

"Oh, you're going to clean it up, all right…" said Grimmjow, a feral grin creeping across his face. Without warning he seized the teen by his head and slammed it against the table, using the human's hair to soak up the large pool of coca-cola.

"Grimmjow!" barked Ulquiorra, raising his voice as he marched forward, "Release him!"

The teenager, for his part, was screaming apologies and begging for mercy as the insane Espada relentlessly rubbed his head back and forth against the table.

"Mercy? _Mercy?_ Be grateful I'm not tearing your lungs out, you little shit!"

"Grimmjow…" warned Ulquiorra, dropping his voice to it's usual unnerving monotone, but it was no use; Grimmjow was completely absorbed in torturing the human.

"And after we finish cleaning the table," he said, grinning psychotically, "I'm going to cram you into the dumpster with the _rest_ of the trash!"

Enough was enough as Ulquiorra stepped in and pried the human from Grimmjow's grasp, and, using his deceptively-greater strength, flung the crazed _sexta_ across the dining room, knocking over a couple of tables that weren't bolted down and sending chairs flying.

"What the fuck was that-" started Grimmjow as he sat up rubbing his head, but a cold glare bearing the promise of a swift death from Ulquiorra silenced him.

"Yeah, maybe you should just go scrub the toilets, Grimmjow,…" suggested Tyn, "until you can stop being a menace to the customers."

"Mind your own goddamned-"

"Grimmjow,…" began Ulquiorra, "go clean the bathrooms while I take care of this. And I would advise you _not_ to argue with me at the moment."

Growling darkly, Grimmjow reluctantly headed to the back to clean the restrooms, leaving the dining area in a mess and no doubt thinking of a thousand different ways he'd like to kill the human, the _cuarto_, and Tyn.

Ulquiorra was at least glad he didn't need to tell the other two to return to work this time; Tyn was already back in the kitchen and Starrk was returning to his post at the drive-through after watching Grimmjow's meltdown. Once again feeling thankful for being an "emotionless prick," Ulquiorra turned to the terrified and soda-soaked human and attempted to talk the boy out of suing the restaurant or having Grimmjow arrested for assault and battery.

In the background, he could hear the other two still talking.

"So, wait; does chicken taste like cat, or does cat taste like chicken? I'm confused now." said Tyn.

"Either way, I don't think _I'm_ ever going to eat the nuggets again." replied Starrk as he put his headset back on.

Yes, it was days like _this_ that truly made Ulquiorra miss Hueco Mundo.

* * *

Cars were interesting devices; for humans, who can barely run and can't even fly without mechanical assistance, cars provided a quicker and more comfortable alternative to walking.

Not that Halibel would actually allow him to drive it even if they _did_ have a car…

She was saving for one, Tyn knew that much, and she'd warned him that if he did anything foolish enough to force her to dip into those funds in order to repair the apartment or buy a replacement television again, there would be hell to pay.

Hands in his pockets as he walked down the sidewalk towards home, he ignored the chill winter air as it blew around him as he thought about his new life.

His days of sprinting through the desert and the Menos Forest running from Aizen's extermination squads were over, as was the constant fight for survival, and the terrible loneliness that came from being a pack animal forced to live in exile and solitude…but things weren't as ideal as he'd always hoped for.

Halibel hated him, and he had yet to figure out exactly _why_. It wasn't the mistakes he'd made, though he knew they didn't help the situation; no, her hostility had begun to surface before they had even moved away from the training area beneath the Urahara Shop. The only thing he could think of was that maybe, for some reason, she hadn't _wanted_ to be saved, that she had welcomed death…but that didn't strike Tyn as being very likely, especially after watching her beat the snot out of Grimmjow and threaten to murder him if he jeopardized their cover.

Grimmjow… There was another problem; the _sexta_ Espada's lust for fighting and violence made him unstable and dangerous, a threat to the safety of the pack. Worse still, prior to his exile, Tyn had been the original _sexta_ Espada, and Grimmjow seemed eager for a confrontation to prove that he was the superior number six. That would have to be addressed sooner or later, and for the moment, Tyn was hoping it could wait until _much_ later.

Ulquiorra wasn't bad, at least; the _cuarto_ Espada's unfeeling approach to everything in the world could be irritating, sure, but at least the pale man didn't seem to foster any hostility towards him. Tyn would even go as far as to say that Ulquiorra was the linchpin that held them all together; Grimmjow was a sociopath, Halibel a bitch, Starrk was lazy, and as for himself…well, he wasn't entirely sure _what_ he'd classify himself as.

Starrk was, perhaps, the one he was most grateful to have in the pack; the elder Espada might be lazy, but his laid-back attitude was oddly comforting, and at _least_ he was willing to converse with Tyn without letting it degenerate into swearing and death threats. Yes, out of all of them, Tyn would have to say that the _primera_ was by far the most agreeable of the bunch.

He paused momentarily, sniffing the air as his thoughts were swallowed up by an intoxicating scent…

A human soul, fresh by the smell of things.

Tyn turned his head, following the smell with his eyes back to an alley way on the other side of the street. His sharp, green eyes could make out a corpse in the alley with a soul standing over it, looking down in confusion…and Tyn suddenly felt so very, very hungry.

How long had it been? How long had he been stuck eating human food instead of having a real soul?

_Too long_, he thought as his left hand closed around the piece of Soul Candy in his pocket that was supposed to be for emergencies only.

He was sure that his speed would let him get away with it and be back in his gigai before the Soul Society even noticed the blip on their radar screens. No one would know, no one would ever find out…

_Scratch that_, he thought sourly, _Tia would know. Somehow, someway, she would find out._

He shuddered to think of what she would do to him for it, too.

_She won't stop at killing me, that's for sure…_

He continued to watch the soul for a couple of minutes, stewing over it all. There wasn't even a Soul Reaper in sight, and there was almost definitely another hollow tracking him down already…

"I'm probably going to regret this…" he sighed to himself as he crossed the street and entered the alleyway.

The soul was still completely oblivious to his presence as it stared down at it's body in shock.

"He killed me…" it muttered, "all this, just for a wallet…"

"Ain't life a bitch?" asked Tyn from behind, and the spirit spun around in fright, backing up over it's own corpse and pressing it's back to the far wall.

"Please, whoever you are, don't hurt me!"

"Don't tempt me…" hissed the arrancar, "Look, I'm here to do you a favor; souls are supposed to cross over to a place called the Soul Society when they die, but you didn't. You're going to have to find yourself a Soul Reaper and ask them to send you on your way."

"Who are they, and why can't I stay here?" questioned the soul, clearly dubious as to why he should trust the crimson-haired stranger before him.

"They're a bunch of idiots who wear this goofy-looking black uniform and carry swords around with them. They're spirits like you, so no one can see them except the dead and other 'special' people like me. And if you stay here, a hollow will eat you."

"Wait…" stammered the man, "what do you mean it will _eat _me?"

"What part of _eating_ something do you not understand?" growled a frustrated Tyn. "It's _exactly_ what it sounds like. Hollows are corrupted spirits who have become monsters, and they feed on other spirits like you."

And with perfect timing, a hollow cry echoed across the city as the sun began to go down. The spirit turned pale as Tyn grinned evilly.

"That's a hollow right there… It smells dinner; it smells _you_."

"Oh no, no no no, I don't _want _to be eaten!" cried the soul, "Help me find a Soul Reaper, _please_!"

Tyn stepped back as if he'd been burned.

"I…can't. Long, complex story. Look, just find some moron wearing all black and carrying a sword, and that'll be a Soul Reaper, or if you can survive until morning, go to Karakura High and seek out some brat named Kurosaki; he can help you."

"O-o-okay… Thank-"

"And don't you _dare_ mention me to him or anyone else, you got that? This little talk _never_ happened, and I don't exist."

"Yeah…okay. Thank you!" called the spirit, but Tyn was already heading back across the street, mourning over his lost meal.

He was aware that he had "done the right thing," as humans would say, and he was also painfully aware now that doing the right thing positively _sucked_. His only consolation was that if _he_ couldn't eat a soul tonight, then nobody _else_ would, either.

* * *

The rest of his walk home was equally miserable as a near-freezing rain had begun to fall shortly after leaving the alleyway and the lost soul, leaving a very wet and very annoyed Tyn cursing the human world once more.

_At least it's over now_, he thought sourly as he entered the apartment before suddenly remembering that, no, it was never over as long as he was living with Tia; something would go horribly wrong before the night was over, that much was assured.

Cold and hungry, he made his way to the refrigerator, determined to at least cure one of his problems…

He opened the door and moved the milk aside, and…wait, where was it?

"God damn it!" he snarled, as he began to tear through the contents of the refrigerator, tossing water bottles and foodstuffs out into the floor.

"It's gone." said Tia softly from behind, and Tyn whirled to see her leaning casually against the wall, watching him coolly. "I took care of it."

"So you _did_ eat it after all…" Tyn said accusingly as he began to pick up foodstuffs up from the floor and return them to the fridge as Halibel silently watched, scowling at him rather than answering.

Finished cleaning up his mess, he made his way to the living room, nervously noting that Halibel followed right behind him; if the shark was stalking him, then she was definitely pissed about something.

"I was about to do the laundry earlier…" she began finally, "and guess what I found in the hamper with all the whites?"

"Underwear?" he guessed, hoping she wasn't somehow upset over the _other_ thing he'd left in there for her.

"Blood. Lots of blood. Want to explain that?"

"Why are you asking _me_? I mean, _you're_ the one who-" he started, but was cut off abruptly as she seized him by the throat with her left hand and slammed him against the wall roughly.

"I found what was_ left _of the cat…" she snarled. "Why the _hell_ did you put a bloody cat pelt in with the whites?"

"…because it's white?" he choked out weakly.

"It's a cat skin!" she roared, producing the bloodied fur from behind her back, "A stupid, bloody cat skin! Jesus, couldn't you have at least _dried _off all the blood before you threw it in? All of my whites are _ruined _because of you!"

"I…I…th-thought you m…might w-want…the…fur." he gasped as she tightened her grip, her inhuman strength threatening to snap the faux body's neck.

"I see…" she said calmly as she released him, with Tyn collapsing to the ground gasping for air for a few moments before managing to stand up once more.

"It's kinda a present for you, and-"

*POW!*

"Idiot."


	3. Humiliation, Longing, and Pride

**Humiliation, Longing, and Pride**

Life's ability to zero in on an unfortunate soul that was already in a bad situation and somehow find a way to make things even worse never ceased to amaze or annoy him.

Being forced to live among the humans like a weakling was bad enough, but working in an enviroment where that bastard Ulquiorra was _still_ his superior? It was insult to injury, and the mop in his hand placed there by the pasty-faced prick in question was an even _worse_ insult.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez gripped the wooden handle so hard that cracks could be heard forming along the shaft as he growled in frustration at his position.

He was strong, a powerful creature that was born to be a leader among others, a king in his own right…and yet he continually found himself serving others for one reason or another. If they were going to continue on with this miserable little charade, he should at _least_ be given a position of some respect and authority.

Of course, there was no way in hell Ulquiorra would ever allow _that_ to happen…

Muttering a hundred different swear words directed at his supervisor under his breath, the former Espada slapped the wet mop against the dark brown tile of the floor and began to swab back and forth slowly. A tall blond woman entered the restaurant, leading her young son along by the hand, and Grimmjow literally had to bite his tongue hard to keep from screaming at them as they walked right across his freshly-mopped floor, paying no attention to the telltale bucket of water and the "Caution: Wet Floor" sign he'd put up.

He scowled as the copper-sweet taste of blood began to pool in his mouth, strongly considering spitting it on the woman and her brat, but a look from Ulquiorra as he rang up their order told him that there would be severe consequences for doing so.

_Goddamned scrawny little bastard…_

He opted to spit the mouthful of blood into the bucket as the gigai's accelerated healing closed the wound on his tongue, and he dipped the mop back into the bucket and went back to swab the dirty footprints off the floor.

"I don't _wanna_ eat here!" screamed the petulant child, "I want to go to WacDonald's!"

"I want you to go to WacDonald's, too, you noisy little hell-spawn." growled Tyn as he momentarily stepped out of the kitchen, holding his ears against the high-pitched shrieking and scowling hatefully at the humans.

The mother looked offended and began to complain to Ulquiorra, and though he'd never actually _say_ it, Grimmjow actually agreed with the red-headed raptor for a change; the last thing he wanted in his almost-clean dining room right now was an obnoxious child and a mother who apparently wasn't interested in forcing him to behave.

He chuckled darkly as he considered introducing them both to the deep fryer face-first, and then chuckled again when he heard Ulquiorra announce that the cost of the meal was coming out of Tyn's pay for his rude outburst. It was the ultimate win/win for Grimmjow; Tyn got punished, and the angry arrancar would undoubtedly do something horrible to the brat's food in retaliation.

It only took a few moments for their now-tainted food to be ready, and of course, they walked straight across Grimmjow's freshly-mopped floor _again_ as they went to the dining room.

Still behind the woman, Grimmjow hoisted his mop back and prepared to knock the disrespectful human wench and her stupid whelp right out of the store with one mighty swing, straight through the large plate-glass windows and into the busy street in front of the restaurant. For great justice, he went for the swing only to find that his mop wouldn't budge for some odd reason.

"Behave." said Ulquiorra coolly from behind, and Grimmjow forced himself to take a deep breath to try and reign his temper in as the _cuarto_ released his hold on the mop.

For her part, the woman and her child never knew what had went on behind their backs or just how perilously close to death they had come.

Sulking, Grimmjow returned to mopping the floor, stealing occasional glances at the mother and son to burn the faces into his memory; sooner or later, this little farce of pretending to be human would come to and end, and then…

Another evil smile danced across his face as he worked, images of blood, fire, and twisted corpses in his head. It would be so sweet, so gratifying, and so ultimately worth all this nightmarish humiliation he was forced to deal with now.

After all, vengeance was a dish best served with a heaping side of indiscriminate murder and mayhem.

Still, try as he might, he couldn't completely tune out the overly-loud brat and his mother as they ate, with the child _still_ bitching about how he'd rather go to WacDonald's.

"This food is bad!" he whined, "I think they spit on my burger! Look! Is this _snot_? I think it's snot!"

"Stop lying; we are _not_ going to WacDonald's today!" snapped the mother.

"If you don't take me to WacDonald's, I'm going to throw up!" threatened the brat, and Grimmjow's eyes widened.

"No…no, no, no, _no_…" he pleaded to anyone that would listen, but neither the mother, the child, or anyone else answered him as the brat ran his finger down his throat and began to gag.

"No!" cried Grimmjow loudly, springing forward to stop him, but it was too late; the child spewed forth partially-digested hamburger, fries, soda, and stomach acid all over Grimmjow's nice, clean floor.

"Fine!" declared the mother, "If you want to go to WacDonald's _that_ badly, we'll go!"

Grimmjow stood there, fuming… All of his work mopping the floor, the child forcing himself to throw up and _ruining_ all of it, and this bitch couldn't even be bothered to tell him "I'm sorry my son is a stupid waste of oxygen that ruined your clean floor and I'm an idiotic wench who should never be allowed to breed again"?

The number six had just reached his limit of bullshit for the day.

"Bad fetus!" he raged at the child, pointing at the smelly pool of puke on the floor, "That's a bad, bad fetus, _bad_! I should punt-kick your scrawny, nasty little ass across town!"

Wide-eyed with terror at being yelled at by a strange and obviously-insane man, the child began to cry as the mother turned red in the face and opened her mouth to defend her offspring.

"How _dare_ you speak to-" she began, but Grimmjow whirled to face her and whatever complaint she'd had quickly died on her lips as he turned his fury on her.

"And _you_, you stupid, silly bitch! I should mop that shit up with your _face_! Jesus, how fucking hard is it to actually _be_ a parent and smack the brat around a little to keep him in line? You're a bigger waste of space than _he_ is! I should just do the world a favor right now and kill the both-"

"That's _enough_, Grimmjow." said Ulquiorra, cutting him off mid-rant by jerking him backwards by his collar, away from the mother and child before his verbal abuse turned very physical and very bloody.

The woman's expression was one of shock and indignant rage, and she sputtered about for a few moments before finally finding her voice once more.

"You're all _terrible_ people!" she screamed, "I'm _never_ bringing my family here again, and I'm going to make sure none of my friends do, either!"

"Promise?" called out Tyn hopefully as the woman stormed out the door dragging her child out by the arm.

The four arrancar stood in silence for a moment in the now-empty restaurant, looking at the slowly-expanding pool of vomit on the floor.

"Grimmjow…"

The _sexta_ didn't need to be told what to do for once, and he as he growled and retrieved his mop and bucket, bitterly watching the others go back to work and leave him to deal with the mess alone. Sighing heavily, he plopped the wet mop down in the center of the disgusting filth and began to swab the tile floor once again.

"I hate my life."

* * *

His shift had ended nearly two hours ago, but Tyn found himself feeling reluctant to go home after last night's unfortunate incident over the cat skin and a few bloodied clothes. So Halibel's undergarments had some bloodstains now, big deal; after all, didn't girls already leave red stains once a month anyway?

He'd asked Halibel that, of course, and that had earned him a fist to the _other_ side of his head.

He was now thoroughly convinced that death had left her in a perpetual state of PMS; it was _that_ time of the month every minute of every day and it would _never_ end.

And he had to live with her…

_Lucky me…_ he thought bitterly.

Tyn had taken a different route home than normal, a longer one that had taken him by a new strip mall, and there he took his time wandering around from shop to shop trying to delay the inevitable as long as possible. He frowned as he realized that it didn't matter if he wasn't there to screw up; Tia was likely to yell at him for being late if nothing else.

He'd come up with a couple of mathematical formulas for sharing an apartment with Halibel to try and make things easier.

_Angry Tia = Lots of Yelling._

_Angry Tia + Peace Offering = Concussion._

There was no middle ground, no way to win; everything he said or did or even _thought_ was wrong, and attempting to argue the point only made things worse.

He wandered into a store of "collectables" and wandered around aimlessly looking at small statues and figurines that were hideous beyond words. Who in their right mind would actually buy any of this garbage? He picked up one small statue in particular and took a long, hard look at it, trying to decide if it was supposed to be a dragon, or if the artist had suffered a seizure while sculpting it.

Scowling in disgust, he sat the piece back down and headed for the exit…and that's when the katana mounted on the wall behind the register caught his eye, and he walked over to it, entranced.

"Ah, I see you like it, do you?" asked the clerk with a smile, "It's a handmade piece, one of a kind!"

"It almost looks like my zanpaktou…" muttered Tyn as the clerk took the weapon down and handed it over for examination.

"Your what?" asked the confused clerk.

"Never mind." said Tyn quickly, looking the weapon over carefully. The guard appeared to be two curved dragon claws, forming an almost perfect circle; Tyn's own guard was two raptor claws, _Deinonychus_ claws to be exact. The coloring of the guard, the pommel, and the scabbard were an identical shade of dark steel and bright crimson to Tyn's blade, though _Garras Rapaces_' pommel had a six-inch long tassel laden with red feathers that the katana was sorely lacking.

_I could fix that_… he thought to himself as he drew the blade slowly, checking the steel for imperfections.

"Full tang, and the balance is-" started the clerk, but Tyn cut him off.

"Believe me, I know what I'm doing…" he said, never taking his eyes off the gleaming steel.

It felt nice and balanced in his hand, though admittedly not as familiar and as perfectly-balanced as _Garras Rapaces_ was.

Still, it was impressive for a human-made weapon, and since he was only allowed out of his gigai once a month in Urahara's underground chamber he rarely got to use his zanpaktou anymore…

"How much?" he asked, finally returning the blade to it's scabbard.

"Forty thousand yen, sir."

Tyn staggered backwards, nearly knocking one of the oh-so ugly statues off the nearby display rack. Forty thousand was an entire week's check and then some, and if he spent that much money without her approval, Tia would be positively _beyond_ pissed with him.

_Stupid minimum-wage job…_

He knew Grimmjow's advice would be to steal it, but robbing a store would end up with a lot of unwanted attention directed their way, and sooner or later the Soul Society might take notice…

Sighing, he handed the katana back to the clerk and watched the man return it to it's place on the wall before finally turning to leave.

* * *

"Home sweet Hell…" Tyn muttered to himself quietly as he enter the apartment, and as he turned around to make sure the door was locked he could already feel a pair of angry green eyes boring a hole into his back. He really was _not_ in the mood to listen to too much bitching tonight…

"You're late." announced Tia, arms folded across her chest as she glared at her roommate.

"Bite me." he spat back as he turned and brushed past her on his way to the living room, sitting down at his end of the couch.

"Where have you been?" Halibel demanded, her tone making the question sound more like a hostile interrogation than curiosity.

"What the hell does it matter to _you_?" growled an annoyed Tyn, "You're not my keeper, you know."

"It _matters_ because you're an idiot. It _matters_ because if you're left alone for too long, you might waste your half of the rent on something worthless again like you did with all those stupid ferns and the humidifier-"

"I can decorate my room however I-" he started, but was cut off abruptly as a hand closed around his throat tightly.

"_Don't_ interrupt me again." warned Halibel before continuing, "It _matters_ because you're impulsive and savage and _almost _as likely to kill someone as Grimmjow."

She paused, sniffing the air before wrinkling her nose in disgust and releasing him.

"Go take a shower; you reek of hamburgers and stupidity." Tia spat before turning and going into her bedroom, being sure to slam the door behind her with enough force to rattle the walls.

"Yes, _dear_. Whatever you say, _dear_." he hissed sarcastically under his breath as he stood up and trudged his way into the bathroom.

_A person shouldn't have to dread going home_, he mused as he turned on the shower and began to undress. It wasn't right, it wasn't natural, not for humans _or_ arrancars…

He rested his hands on either side of the sink and leaned forward heavily, looking at himself in the mirror. Gigai or no, his mind's eye could still make out his _real_ face in the reflection; the remains of his mask that covered his mandible, stretching back to the hinge of the jaw and up before disappearing into short, spiky, arterial-red hair, the diagonal red stripes on either side of his face that started at the top of his nose and raced their way back down to the back of his jaw, and above those lines sat the predatory amber-colored eyes that could see in even the blackest night…

But what he could see with his mind's eye and what he could see with his actual eyes were two entirely different things, and his eyes showed him the gigai's face, a distinctly human face that had been stripped of all the things that would make him stand out such as his mask and markings, his eyes now a bright green rather than a fierce yellow, and even his hair had been changed to a darker, less-unique shade of red.

Tyn wondered if it was having his true self buried underneath so much _human _that made him tolerate Halibel's verbal and occasional physical abuse, or if it was his bestial desire to be part of a pack that was overriding his sense of pride and retaliatory nature…

He still didn't have an answer to that question as he finally turned away from the mirror and stepped into the hot shower, but he did know one very important fact:

Every man, even if they weren't human, had a breaking point.


	4. Springtime in Karakura

**Springtime in Karakura**

Spring, the magical time of year when the air became warmer and the days became brighter, a time of flowers blooming and birds singing merrily throughout the day. Spring, the magical time of year when it suddenly became unusual to spend your weekends shut up inside of your home.

Starrk decided that he hated spring.

The first Saturday of spring, and if the golden rays of sunlight filtering in through the window directly into his face were any indication, it was going to be a bright, beautiful day.

Starrk rolled over away from the window and shut his eyes, trying desperately to go back to sleep.

But the glorious day wasn't willing to let the arrancar sleep in peace until he had gotten up and experienced it all, and it countered by having a quartet of birds perch just outside his window and begin to sing incessantly.

Starrk strained to keep his eyes shut and tune out the noise, wondering how to best combat the situation.

Grimmjow would probably fling the window open and kill them while screaming every profane word in his vocabulary to the world. Tyn, he figured, would probably try and _eat_ them. The _cuarto_ would most likely be unfazed by their presence, and Halibel would probably just rap her knuckles against the window hard in an attempt to drive them off…

For himself, Starrk was considering buying some earplugs.

He wasn't against the idea of spring, or of other living things enjoying the nice weather…he just didn't want any part of it for himself.

Mercifully, the chirping of the birds ceased and he could just barely hear the flapping of their wings as they left to go find someone else to annoy, and Starrk smiled as he snuggled into his pillow once more and yawned.

It wasn't that he meant to sleep the entire day away, but as he understood it, it was a God-given right of all creatures great and small to sleep in on weekends, and he was determined to do just that; after all, eleven A.M. was _way_ too early for any reasonable person to crawl out of bed.

"Jesus, Starrk, you're _still_ not up?" came a voice from the doorway.

"Go away, Lilynette." he groaned from underneath the covers, "I don't want to hear about it."

"You can't sleep all day! Look outside! Get up and let's go do something!" exclaimed his young 'sister' as she walked around to the side of the bed and starting poking him in the forehead with her index finger.

"I have an idea; go do your homework." he growled in annoyance as he rolled over again, putting his back to her.

"It's Saturday, Starrk! Get up!" cried his younger half as she yanked the covers off the bed, and Starrk groaned again as he covered his head with the pillow.

"_Please_ go away." came his muffled plea.

"I'm not going anywhere until you _get up_!"

With that declaration, Lilynette grabbed her elder "brother" by his ankles and began trying to yank him out of bed.

"Just go out and play or something! It's not like you need me to hold your hand." Starrk bargained, but Lilynette shook her head adamantly.

"Nope; you're my 'big brother,' and as my legal guardian you _have_ to take care of me; it might look suspicious if you let your innocent baby sister wander out all by herself after just moving to a new city…"

A string of muffled swear words could be heard from beneath the pillow before Starrk finally surrendered and sat up.

"Fine…let's just get this over with."

Lilynette cheered and ran to get ready as Starrk slowly crawled his way out of bed, scowling at the window and the cheery blue sky outside that seemed to be beckoning his younger half to go out and enjoy what the world had to offer.

"I hate spring."

* * *

Lilynette had begun babbling enthusiastically about a spring festival in another part of town since the moment they had set foot out of their apartment, leaving Starrk feeling even _more_ miserable; after all, who wanted to spend their weekend surrounded by a bunch of humans if they didn't _have_ to?

Lilynette, however, was entranced by all the idea of a festival and all the food, music, and games, and she wasn't willing to listen to reason or negotiate.

Starrk silently prayed for a miracle, hoping that something, anything, would happen that would distract her from the festival, but miracles were reserved for "good" souls and not monsters from a moral abyss.

Or so he thought.

Lilynette paused in her quest to get to the festival on the other side of town, watching a group of human children about her own size and supposed "age" run back and forth across a field kicking a ball around.

Starrk could see that her resolve to attend the festival was beginning to break, and he could also see bleachers on either side of the field for spectators and tired 'brothers' who simply didn't want to go do anything…

"They look like they're having a lot of fun, don't they?" he baited her, "Odd number of players, too; I bet they'd _love_ someone to even out the teams…"

"But the festival…" said Lilynette, unsure.

"…will be there next year." finished Starrk. "But today, those kids _need_ another player."

The words were barely out of his mouth before Lilynette was off running towards the children and asking if she could join their game, and Starrk allowed himself a tight grin of victory as he sauntered over to the bleachers and made himself as comfortable as possible.

Screw the festival; this was less-bothersome, and maybe, just maybe, Lilynette could make some friends here, and if she had friends to hang around with, then she wouldn't need to bother him as much…

Yes, this was _definitely_ much more important than some silly festival.

He leaned back in his seat lazily as he watched the children play, the ghost of a smile on his lips. It was good for Lilynette to make friends, and not just because it would remove her from his hair; it would help them blend in with the humans better, and maybe it would help her develop the social skills that the other arrancar were so desperately lacking in.

He yawned and wondered if it would be safe to doze off here in the bleachers for just a moment before realizing that if Lilynette saw him sleeping, she'd kick the ball up into the stands and into his face…

Of course, it wasn't really that bad sitting there watching Lilynette enjoy herself; Starrk wasn't an emotional void like Ulquiorra, and so long as Lilynette was happy, _he_ was happy. The _primera_ wasn't entirely sure how many hours passed by as he just sat there, simply watching his younger half laugh and play.

"Hey, Karin, hurry it up; we're supposed to be at home for dinner in twenty minutes!" called an all-too familiar voice from the other end of the bleachers, and Starrk felt his blood freeze.

He didn't dare turn to look at the other male as he approached, instead turning away to keep his face hidden as he heard the footsteps coming across the bleachers in his direction, with the newcomer sitting down just outside of arm's length.

Ichigo Kurosaki had found him.

Wonderful.

"One of them your kid?" asked the teen conversationally as he leaned back against the bleachers himself, seeming to be completely oblivious to who Starrk was.

"My sister." he corrected, hoping everything would end there.

"Ah… My sister's out there, too; she's the captain of the little 'team' in red there. I don't recognize the tall girl; she must be new. She your sister?"

At least the shinigami didn't recognize who and _what_ he was, and for that, Starrk was grateful. He also recognized that the boy was trying to be sociable, and unfortunately the 'proper human thing' to do was to talk with him and hope that Kurosaki didn't eventually realize the truth.

"Yeah…we just moved to the area about four months ago." said Starrk as he noticed from the corner of his eye that Kurosaki was scrutinizing him.

"You know, you look _really_ familiar…"

"I get that a lot…" said Starrk, shifting his position again to look away from the inquiring teen. "I just have one of those faces, I suppose."

It was a lame answer, one that the shinigami wouldn't buy in a thousand years, and Starrk just _knew_ their cover was about to be blown-

"Yeah, that must be it; my dad has a face like that, too. Everywhere he goes, someone either knows him or _think_ they know him.

"It's a curse." Starrk agreed. "You should be glad you didn't inherit that from him."

"Very glad; I get enough crap from the people who really _do_ know me as it is." said Kurosaki, standing to leave as his younger sister finally came over with the ball tucked under her arm, but Kurosaki motioned for her to go on ahead of him for a second before he turned to address Starrk once more.

"Anyway, I need to get going. Was good talking to you, though." said Kurosaki, pausing just a moment before adding "Everybody deserves a second chance, Starrk… Welcome to Karakura."

Coyote Starrk turned to face the teen fully now, his face slightly-pale at having been identified, but Kurosaki was already walking away with his littler sister. Kurosaki knew, damn it, he _knew_… Did that mean the Soul Soceity also knew? Did Urahara tell him, or Orihime? Had the teen simply recognized him after all? Did he know about the others, too, or just Starrk?

Thinking rationally, the _primera_ reasoned that the boy had indeed recognized him after all; Urahara enjoyed secrets too much to tell him, and Ulquiorra had no doubt stressed the importance of secrecy to Orihime multiple times. Still, it would be wise to inform the others, sans the overly-confrontational Grimmjow, of this new development.

The other children began to disperse to go home now, and Lilynette came jogging over to the bleachers to sit down with Starrk.

"That was really _fun_!" she gushed. "The dark-haired girl, Karin, she said I was pretty good and could join them any time! Starrk, can we go buy a soccer ball? I want one of my own so I can practice for next time!"

The color returning to his face slowly, Starrk managed an easy smile at his "sister" and nodded silently, allowing Lilynette to grab him by the arm and enthusiastically lead him to the nearest sports store.

He briefly considered telling her about what had just happened, but it was better that Lilynette not know, he thought; she had made friends, and he wasn't willing to risk ruining that little miracle for anything in this world.

* * *

"See? That's it right there, that's what I want. Can I buy it? Please?"

"_That's_ what you're wanting to waste forty-thousand yen on? Forget it." Halibel responded disdainfully.

He'd known that would be her response, of course; contrary to popular belief, Tyn Tethis was _not_ a complete idiot.

Still, that didn't mean he was actually willing to accept her refusal.

"Be reasonable, Tia; it's _my_ money after all!" he argued.

"And it will clean you out completely; what happens if you become unable to work for a couple of weeks? How will you pay for your half of the rent? What if you break _another_ television? How will you buy a new one with no money?" Halibel replied, arms folded across her chest as she waited for him to try and formulate a response.

"Actually, the price is now _sixty_-thousand yen, sir" corrected the clerk as he watched the exchange, and Tyn nearly fell over.

"But three weeks ago…"

"Was three weeks ago." finished the clerk for him. "It's a handmade piece, one of a kind, and the smith who forged it passed away almost two weeks ago, so…"

"So you're capitalizing on his death by marking up the price of his works and taking advantage of idiots like _him_." said Halibel as she gestured to Tyn, and the clerk only shrugged.

"That's _business_; you want it or not?"

"I think we'll take our _business_ elsewhere." countered Tia coldly, literally dragging Tyn out of the store by his shirt collar as he began to reach for his wallet regardless of the price.

"But-" Tyn tried to argue, but Tia clamped a hand over his mouth as she forced him out the door roughly.

They were at the spring festival, which took up almost the entire length of the street before them, and Tyn had brought Halibel to the collectibles store to plead his case for the katana.

_Well, that was a waste of time_… he thought bitterly as he sullenly followed Halibel through the crowds that choked the street.

Trying to convince her to let him buy the sword had been his sole purpose for coming to this god-forsaken festival, and now that he'd failed he was trapped here, surrounded by humans and their ridiculously-gaudy decorations and silly carnival games.

Halibel, however, had been curious to check out the festival and experience it, and then had stated it was the "human" thing to do.

As if either of them _really_ wanted to be human…

They walked by one of the stupid carnival games in question, something involving softballs and stacked bottles, when the proprietor called out to them.

"You! Yes, you! Why don't you come over here and win the beautiful lady a prize? It's only three yen for a throw!"

"What beautiful lady?" asked Tyn sarcastically, making a show of looking around as if he were confused, and Tia slapped him in the back of his head.

"Stop being a smartass." she growled before angrily stalking off deeper into the sea of people.

Scowling and muttering a few colorful names for the Shark Queen under his breath, Tyn rubbed the back of his head for a brief moment before hurrying to catch up, mentally adding another item to his list of grievances against the _tercera_.

The sky began to darken as the afternoon gave way to night, but the festival didn't let up despite the loss of light and the cooler evening wind blowing about as brightly-colored lights strung up and down the street began to turn on and the crowds began to thin out, with those who remained donning light jackets against the chill.

Even Tyn's earlier anger had begun to fade along with the sunlight.

He still wasn't exactly happy to be in a festival surrounded by humans and their pointless decorations and games and god-awful foods; seriously, who wanted candy that was made out of cotton, anyway? It made no sense!

He'd kept quiet for the past hour, and a quick glance to his right showed him that his silence had at least made Tia happy as something that _almost_ resembled a smile graced her lips as she wandered through the street from booth to booth.

…and then they turned a corner and found a small child with a plush teddy bear being pushed around by a couple of older boys.

Halibel did the "responsible, human thing" and chased the two bullies away, and Tyn bit back a disapproving scowl; really, what right did _they_ have to interfere in the social interactions of a bunch of human brats?

"One day, I'm going to be big and strong, and then I'm going to beat _them_ up!" declared the smaller whelp as he rubbed at his teary-eyes with one hand.

"You should say something…" whispered Halibel to Tyn, "From what I've gathered by watching television, you're supposed to tell him that fighting isn't the answer."

"You want me to _lie_ to him?" asked Tyn incredulously, not believing his ears.

"It's different for humans than it is for us!" she hissed, shoving him towards the child. "Just pretend to be human for ten seconds and don't screw this up!"

Tyn nervously approached the child as if it were a bomb of some sort, unsure of what to say or do. Tell him fighting was wrong? That seemed like _horrible_ advice to give someone who was being harassed by others, and Tyn didn't want to encourage anyone to just stand by and be a victim…and then a thought occurred to him.

Television was right after all, fighting _wasn't_ the answer! Of course, it was so simple! Really, it was just like back in Hueco Mundo!

"Fighting will only make you feel good in the short-term…" he began, crouching down next to the boy, "but it's _not_ the right answer. Fighting won't actually solve anything."

"It doesn't?" asked the child, sniffling, and from the corner of his eye, Tyn could see that for once Halibel was nodding her head in approval.

"No, it doesn't." Tyn confirmed, gently plucking the plush toy from the child's hands. "The way to solve all your problems permanently is to _disembowel_ them!"

"What's that mean?" asked the confused child, and Tyn was so focused on answering that he missed the look of horror that crossed Tia's face.

"It's when you take your claws, or since you're human, a knife, and stab them in the belly and rip them open like _this_!" Tyn explained, demonstrating on the teddy bear as he tore it open savagely. "Then, you rip out all of their insides like _this_, and after you've cleared out their stomach and intestines, you shove your hand up inside like _this_ and go for the heart and lungs!"

Halibel was too stunned to react in time to stop her idiotic roommate, but her shock quickly wore off and she reached down and grabbed Tyn by the ear, yanking him to his feet and forcing him to drop the now-ruined toy and it's soft, cottony innards.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you?" she demanded, "I told you to give the kid advice, not traumatize him for life!"

"You said to help him, so I'm helping!" Tyn defended himself. "Fighting doesn't solve anything, but _killing_ your enemies will! It's just like in Hueco Mundo!"

"This _isn't_ Hueco Mundo, you moron, and he's _not_ one of us!" Halibel shouted in his face as she grabbed him by his shirt collar with both hands and shook him violently.

Meanwhile, the child simply stood in shock as he started down at the remains of his plushy, and as his lower lip began to tremble, Halibel knew it was time to make a hasty retreat before he began crying and attracting unwanted attention. She released Tyn's collar and grabbed a handful of his red hair and dragged him away, disappearing into the crowd just before the child finally lost control of himself.

The only thing that could be heard over the screaming and crying was a single voice further down the street, yelling.

"But I was _helping_!"


	5. Battle of the Sixes

**Battle of the Sixes**

Stupidity was contagious.

One bad idea led to another and another, and while he usually managed to stand above and beyond the idiocy of his comrades, even Ulquiorra was capable of succumbing to the infectious nature of making stupid decisions.

It had all started with Grimmjow, of course; the blue-haired Espada had shown up at work that morning sporting a brand-new tattoo on his gigai's arm.

A six.

Even after all that had happened to them, Grimmjow still clung to his status as _sexta_ with pride. Understandable to an extent, Ulquiorra thought, as being ranked number six out of the top ten of over a hundred arrancar wasn't exactly a minor feat.

And while it was imperative that they lay low so as to not attract any more unwanted attention than they already had, the number would not give them away; humans routinely adorned their bodies with tattoos, some for art, some as a sign of some significance, and a number wasn't anything unusual. Inadvertently, in his quest to re-live his glory days as an Espada, Grimmjow had instead become more human…

Not that Ulquiorra had any intention of actually _telling_ him that, of course.

The problem had arose from what had transpired next, and for _that_ the _cuarto_ supposed he could blame only himself…

* * *

_**-Earlier, at Burger World-**_

"I have read that humans will sometimes keep visible reminders of their past mistakes…" Ulquiorra began as he examined Grimmjow's new tattoo, "as a way to keep themselves from repeating them."

"Wait… Are you saying we should _all_ get our numbers tattooed on our gigais?" Starrk asked.

"While I do not intend to ever forget what we have done, having a such an obvious 'mark of shame' should help deter us from making similar decisions in the future." Ulquiorra reasoned, and the kitchen went silent as the Burger World dayshift considered his words.

"I'll do it." said Starrk finally after a couple of minutes of mulling it over. "I don't think _any_ of us intend to forget what we did or what Aizen did to us, but how can we say that we won't after a few years? We might not forget completely, but it won't be at the front of our mind anymore."

"But the tattoos would force the memories to stay fresh…" Tyn said, rubbing the back of his neck where his tattoo had been prior to his desertion, "since we'd see them every time we look in a mirror."

"It is agreed, then." Ulquiorra said, nodding with emotionless approval. "I will call Halibel at lunch and discuss the matter with her."

"One question, though…" asked Tyn, "who should _really_ get the six? I mean, I had it first and Grimmjow only inherited it when I fled Los Noches."

And _that_ innocent question had been when things truly went downhill…

"Me!" snapped Grimmjow, "I've already gotten the tattoo, and _you_ left the Espada, so you don't deserve jack shit!"

"Tyn has a valid point, Grimmjow; while it is true that he did leave our ranks, it is also true that he was the _last_ to do so. He almost made the same mistakes that we did. Having his number back would help him nearly as much as it would us." was Ulquiorra's logic.

"Fuck that!" bellowed Grimmjow, "_I'm_ number six, _he_ can take number seven!"

"He can take number two for all _I_ care." said Starrk, rolling his eyes at how ridiculously petty Grimmjow was being.

"_No!_" Grimmjow almost screamed. "He left, so he gets _demoted_!"

"He cannot have number two because that would imply that he is more powerful than Halibel and myself, and that is incorrect." said Ulquiorra, "However, the number five should be appropriate."

"Deserters don't get promoted!" raged Grimmjow. "Besides, by your own goddamned logic, calling him number five implies that he's stronger than I am and that's _bullshit_!"

"Well, before I left, I was number six and you were number nine…" Tyn said thoughtfully, "and we all had our numbers for a reason. The _only_ reasons you moved up to six were Neliel's disappearance, Aizen executing the former number seven, and my departure. I _was_ going to be the new number five after Nel vanished if I hadn't left shortly, when Tia moved from four to three and Ulquiorra went from five to four; Nnoitra would have went from eight down to six, and _you_ would have been number seven."

"Deserters do _not_ get promoted!" Grimmjow screamed again, attracting stares from the handful of customers in the dining room enjoying their breakfast. "_You_ get number seven, or nothing at all!"

A new customer came up to the counter, not paying any real attention to the fact the four employees were talking amongst themselves near the register rather than waiting to take his order.

"Yeah, I'd like a number six combo-"

"You do _not_ get to be number six!" Grimmjow turned and screamed in the man's face, too caught up in his argument with Tyn to notice that he was scaring the hell out of customers.

"Okay… Number five, then?" asked the man meekly, taking a step backwards.

"No! You get _nothing_!" shouted Grimmjow, and Ulquiorra yanked him away from the register and took his place, glaring at Grimmjow momentarily to silence his crazed ranting.

"My apologies for that unpleasantness… May I take your order?"

As the _cuarto_ rang up the man's order, he could hear the other three in the back, still debating the subject of tattoos.

"Isn't there any way you two can come to an agreement?" asked Starrk.

"If he takes his six back, then _I_ get to be number five!" barked the angry _sexta_.

"But you were never number five, and were never going to _be_ number five, either. Besides, we all know that I'm stronger; it's why I was the original six and _you_ were number nine." said Tyn smugly.

"Maybe we should all take new numbers since so many of the other Espada are dead…" Starrk suggested. "If we keep the rankings by strength, I stay the _primera_, Tia becomes two, Ulquiorra three, Tyn four, and you move up to five, Grimmjow."

"How many goddamned times do I have to say it? Deserters do _not_ get promoted! I'll be the new number four, and he can have his six back!"

"Altering our numeration defeats the purpose of the tattoos…" said Ulquiorra over his shoulder as he handed the man his change. "If we are to remember and bear the marks of our past sins, then the marks must be accurate; Halibel remains the _tercera_, and I stay number four. Tyn becomes number five since that was going to be his rank after Nel left us, and you keep your six, Grimmjow."

"He left! He shouldn't get anything!" seethed the _sexta_, "Besides, _I'm_ stronger than Tyn now, anyway!"

_That_ declaration certainly caught the raptor's attention in a bad way.

"If you think for one instant that I got _weaker_ by spending every day running from extermination squads and fighting for my life while _you_ got to sit around the palace in luxury, then you're dumber than I thought!" he growled threateningly, a dangerous gleam in his green eyes as he glared at Grimmjow hatefully.

"Let's find out, then!" challenged Grimmjow. "Urahara's, after work! We'll go downstairs and settle this once and for all! Winner gets the six!"

* * *

_**-Present, Urahara's Underground Chamber-**_

"I'm not sure which I find more amazing; the sheer stupidity of this entire mess, or the fact that _I _was talked into being a part of it." growled Halibel as she watched Kisuke Urahara tattoo the number three onto her currently-uninhabited gigai's left bicep.

The arrancars, minus Lilynette who was supposed to be at the Kurosaki household doing her homework with Karin right about now, stood in Urahara's underground training facility in their true forms, all watching the ex-shinigami ink their former numbers on their gigais, saving Tyn's for last pending the outcome of the fight with Grimmjow.

Naturally, Grimmjow was impatient to get started and only Ulquiorra's warnings kept him from attacking his rival prematurely.

"At least it's on your _arm_ this time, Tia… Speaking of, why the hell _did_ you ruin a perfectly good boob by putting a tattoo on it, anyway?" asked Tyn, and for a long moment Halibel glared at her roommate angrily for having the audacity to say such a thing to her, and it was clear to everyone that she was seriously considering assaulting him for his crass question.

"It wasn't _my_ choice." she finally said, her voice dripping with disgust. "That pervert Gin suggested it would 'look good' there, and Aizen took his suggestion and made it an _order_."

"Gin gave me the creeps…" agreed Tyn. "Guess I should be thankful he didn't give any input on my tattoo."

"I'm ripping that number off your broken corpse when I get through with you…" seethed Grimmjow from behind, glaring daggers at the six still displayed on the back of Tyn's neck, and the raptor moved his right hand over to the hilt of his zanpaktou to draw it in a moment's notice if the panther tried anything as he turned to face him.

"Rule number one:" announced Kisuke without looking up from his work as he put the finishing touches on Tia's three, "no killing. I'll let you two settle your dispute down here, but I don't want you to turn this into a murder scene. You fight until someone is unable to continue, and whoever is left standing gets the six."

"Five." Tyn corrected. "If I win, I take the five. If he wins, I get nothing."

"Fair enough…" agreed the shopkeeper as he stood up, finished with all the gigais except for Tyn's. "I'll alter your actual Espada tattoo after the fight as well, just to keep you two from disputing that again in the future. Rule number two: no Gran Rey ceros-"

"What the hell do you _mean_ 'no Gran Rey' ceros?" demanded Grimmjow. "Who are _you_ to tell us how we fight each other? I'll do-"

"If you'll kindly _shut up_, I'll explain my reasoning." said Urahara, glaring at the Espada from underneath his hat. "See, I've become quite fond of my little shop upstairs, and a Gran Rey stands a good chance of destroying it, and I really don't want that. _You_ don't want that either, do you, Grimmjow?"

Not even Grimmjow missed the veiled threat in the ex-captain's tone.

"Okay, then… Rule number three: no releasing your zanpaktou. The barrier around this chamber is powerful and it does a wonderful job of concealing the spiritual pressure of those inside from the outside world, but having five Espada in here at one time is already taxing it's limitations; if _one_ of you used your resurrección form, the excess energy would, at the very least, begin to bleed through and be detectable by the Soul Society. If _both_ of you released your zanpaktou, the barrier would shatter and then we would have every captain in the Gotei 13 come down on us before we even knew what was happening."

"And I take it that _our_ job is to ensure they adhere to the rules?" asked Halibel, scowling.

"That's right; if they go overboard, the Seireitei will know there are still arrancar left and will hunt you all down…and of course they'll probably execute me for having helped you, as well as everyone upstairs, including dear Orihime. That makes this little fight concern _all_ of us."

"Understood." acknowledged Ulquiorra, "If either of them attempt a Gran Rey or a release, we will stop them."

"Wonderful. Well then, are we ready to get underway with the 'Battle of the Sixes?'" asked Kisuke, turning to the competitors.

"Yeah… Let's get this over-" started Tyn, but he was cut off abruptly as an impatient Grimmjow slammed a monstrous sidekick into his gut that sent him hurtling across the chamber, tumbling across the rocky terrain and into one of the large stone outcroppings some thirteen meters down range.

The ex-_sexta_ barely had time to peel himself off the rock face before the blue-haired sociopath was on him again, punishing him with a barrage of punches while mocking him relentlessly.

"You've lost your touch, lizard!" roared Grimmjow, sending Tyn airborne with a fierce uppercut to his jaw, striking him just below the remains of his mask.

Tyn struggled to gain control of himself as he went him for a split second before finally stabilizing and hanging in midair, but Grimmjow had already used his _sonido_ to appear above and behind the raptor, driving him back down into the ground with a double-fisted blow to the back, immediately charging a cero before the hapless redhead had even impacted the earth.

"You are _nothing_!" bellowed Grimmjow above the roar of the crimson cero as it slammed into Tyn and drove him deep into the ground.

The red glow of the cero faded, revealing a mammoth crater in the ground and no sign of the former Espada, and Grimmjow began to laugh loudly once more.

"That was _too_ easy! How pathetic! You make me _sick_, Tyn!" he called out.

Down below in the crater, the loose soil and rock began to shift as Tyn pushed himself to his feet, popping his neck as he stood up, a line of blood trickling down his face from an open wound in his forehead and another from a split in his lower lip. He looked skyward at Grimmjow, amber eyes burning with fury.

He didn't say anything, didn't respond to Grimmjow's taunts; he simply stood there glaring at him for a second…and then vanished.

"Where'd-_what the_-?" began Grimmjow, but Tyn had already used his sonido to get eye-to-eye with his enemy, grabbing Grimmjow by the face as he began to fly back down towards the ground at breakneck speed, forcibly slamming the back of Grimmjow's head into a large boulder, shattering the giant stone into thousands of tiny pieces.

Tyn released his grip on his successor, standing above the momentarily-downed and dazed Grimmjow.

"Get up…" growled Tyn, "We're not finished _yet_."

Now it was Grimmjow who appeared to be having trouble standing, and an impatient Tyn reached down and jerked the other man to his feet.

"I said _get up_!" he snarled, and Grimmjow responded with a head butt that shattered Tyn's nose, sending a splash of crimson across both individuals.

The Raptor Prince staggered backwards, stunned for a brief second as Grimmjow roared and came in with a punch intended to tear Tyn's head from his shoulders, but he wasn't quite fast enough; Tyn ducked underneath the shot, seizing Grimmjow's wrist with his left hand as it sailed overhead while driving his right fist deep into the current _sexta's_ midsection.

Jaegerjaquez coughed up blood from the brutal impact, but rather than releasing him, Tyn carried through with the punch, powering upwards and lifting his foe from his feet, and then using his grip on Grimmjow's arm to pull him overhead before slamming him down into the ground roughly.

Tyn kicked his fallen opponent harshly, the power behind the blow sending the battered Grimmjow tumbling across the harsh landscape for some dozen-plus meters before slamming into a large boulder, just as he had done to Tyn. Grimmjow slid down to his knees as Tyn wiped the blood away from his nose with the back of his hand, narrowing his eyes further as he did so.

"Oh, it's not over just yet…" he seethed, spitting out a mouthful of blood as he began to stalk over towards Grimmjow. "We're just getting _started_ here."

Off to the side, the other three Espada and Urahara stood watching the spectacle, giving it their undivided attention.

"Starting to wish I'd made some popcorn for this!" said Kisuke jokingly, but the three arrancar didn't seem to share his humor.

"I never realized Tyn could be so sadistic…" observed Starrk.

"I don't think he is, usually; I believe he's using Grimmjow as a scapegoat for anger directed at someone else."

"Who could he be so angry at?" asked Kisuke.

For a moment, there was complete silence, and then three pairs of eyes turned to look at Halibel, who only narrowed her own green eyes angrily.

"Not _one _word…" she hissed threateningly as she crossed her arms.

The males all looked away from the Shark Queen, and Kisuke began to whistle innocently.

Back out on the battleground, the other two arrancar continued to exchange blows as Grimmjow had finally gotten back to his feet and proceeded to throw all of his fury and rage into his attacks. A powerful shot to the jaw forced Tyn to stagger backwards momentarily, and in that instant Grimmjow abandoned hand-to-hand and drew his zanpaktou, _Pantera_, slashing at Tyn's throat.

The partially-dazed raptor shot his left hand out and seized the deadly sword by it's dullest area, the very base of the blade directly above the guard while his right hand still massaged his jaw. A very fine trickle of blood could be seen dripping from his left hand as Tyn casually cocked his head and looked at the _sexta_, as if he were silently asking '_is this all you are?_'

An enraged Grimmjow tugged on his zanpaktou, trying to slide it free of Tyn's iron grip and slice his hand open deeper, possibly even take a few fingers off, but the blade stubbornly refused to move. In desperation, Grimmjow removed his left hand from the hilt and fired a bala point-blank into his enemy's face.

The blast of energy hardly damaged Tyn and only forced him to take a half-step back, though the blast loosened his grip on the sword just enough to allow Grimmjow to yank _Pantera_ free in a small spray of crimson.

"I've had _enough_ of you!" roared Grimmjow as he came in again, both hands on the hilt of _Pantera_ as he poured all of his rage into one strike, "You _think_ you're stronger than me? That you're better? _YOU ARE NOTHING_!"

*CLANG!*

_Garras Rapaces_ was free of it's scabbard now and it took the fury behind _Pantera_ unflinchingly, which served only to stoke the fires of Grimmjow's hatred further.

"Why won't you _die_?" he screamed, lashing out with a frenzy of wild slashes that Tyn began to dodge rather than block, allowing Grimmjow to force him backwards.

"_I'm_ the best, you hear me? _I'm_ the _sexta_ and you are nothing but a _mistake_! We should of killed you when we had the chance!" roared Grimmjow coming down with an overhead blow.

Tyn quickly raised _Garras Rapaces_ and deflected the strike, tearing the zanpaktou from Grimmjow's hands and sending it spiraling through the air end over end. Never stopping the motion, Tyn quickly brought the blade back down diagonally, taking a step backwards at the last minute to honor Kisuke's first rule.

The very tip of the blade bit into Grimmjow's left shoulder and sliced it's way down to his right hip, a relatively shallow and decidedly non-fatal wound thanks only to the step backwards, but the raptor had one more present for his foe; he removed his left hand from the hilt and placed his palm a few inches from Grimmjow's bleeding chest.

"I win." he said simply as he released a cero straight into Grimmjow's torso, letting the powerful burst of energy send the battered _sexta_ flying backwards for well over twenty meters before skidding to a halt roughly.

There was a long pause as Grimmjow valiantly struggled to get up to his knees one last time before collapsing face-down into the dirt, uttering one last "God damn it" as he fell.

Tyn flicked the blood from his blade and returned _Garras Rapaces_ to it's scabbard on his hip as he turned and walked over to rejoin the others, all of whom were just now re-entering their gigais.

"I'll go upstairs and fetch Orihime." said Ulquiorra flatly as he looked across the chamber at the beaten _sexta_ who had yet to get back to his feet. "It would seem as though her services will be required after all."

"Glad it's finally over with; maybe _that_ will keep Grimmjow quiet for a few days…" mumbled Starrk as he turned to head up the ladder and exit the chamber to go home. Urahara, meanwhile, was already at work stenciling the number five onto the left arm of Tyn's gigai.

No one congratulated him, no one said that they'd had any faith in him…as usual, his 'pack' offered him absolutely _no_ support.

_What a surprise_, he thought ruefully.

Tyn turned to look at Tia, who simply turned her back to him and began to walk away without saying a single word, not even the usual insult.

Never had a victory felt so…_hollow_.

Scowling, he turned to go sit down and wait for his gigai to be finished and for Kisuke to start work on changing his spirit's tattoo from a six to a five.

"If you had embarrassed me by losing, I wouldn't let you come home tonight." said Halibel softly, looking back over her shoulder at him. Tyn paused, cocking his head to the side to look at her curiously, but she was already in motion again, going up the ladder to head home.

"If I'd embarrassed _her_?" he muttered to himself, confused. Was that some strange way of saying that she'd actually _believed_ in him? He had no way of knowing if that had been her meaning or not, but he chose to take it as such and suddenly his victory felt much more like a win.

Support from his pack, even if it only existed in his imagination, was important to him.

Then, another thought occurred to him.

"Wait, what do you _mean _you wouldn't have let me come home tonight? Tia? Tia!"

But Halibel had already left, and the only response to his cry was the sound of Kisuke Urahara chuckling.


	6. To Protect

**To Protect…**

Secrets.

Sometimes, secrets are kept out of a sense of shame, to hide something so heinous it could ruin a reputation. Sometimes they are kept simply to be a surprise for someone at a later date, and sometimes they are kept in order to protect an individual from a potentially harmful truth.

Someone like Orihime Inoue.

Hands in his pockets, Ichigo Kurosaki reluctantly trudged down the sidewalk towards Orihime's house, trying to think of how best to tell her that Starrk was living in Karakura Town.

It was a cloudy Friday afternoon, and tomorrow would make it two weeks since encountering the former Espada at the soccer field near Karin's school, and ever since Ichigo had been debating on telling Orihime or to keep it secret, and how best to break it to her if he _did_ tell her. A part of him wanted to keep it secret permanently to protect her, but sheltering her from the truth wasn't really protection; she had a right to know before she found out for herself somehow.

Orihime had a kind heart, and he knew she would forgive the _Primera_ for his past sins without hesitation, but she deserved to have advanced warning that he was around; if she were to turn a corner one day and happen to run into him unexpectedly, it might send her into a panic. As long as she was aware of the former Espada's existence, then everything _should_ be fine.

Should be, because Orihime was _normally_ the nicest, most forgiving person one could ever hope to meet. Of course, Orihime had been acting rather strange for the past few months, ever since the end of the Winter War and her rescue from Hueco Mundo…

Ichigo hadn't pressed the issue; for someone with such a gentle soul as Orihime, the past few months…hell, the past _year_ had to be traumatic in ways other people couldn't even imagine. Her smile was always there, but she wasn't always eager to get together with the others outside of school anymore; instead, she seemed to spend most of her time cooped up in her house, alone.

Mentally, he added another item to his agenda at Orihime's: remind her that her friends are still there for her, and will always be ready to talk with her about what may have happened to her in Los Noches.

Unfortunately, today would _not_ be a good day for Ichigo to sit down and have an extended talk with her; as part of his new arrangement with Head-Captain Yamamoto, he was expected to be in the Soul Society in a couple of hours where he would stay until late Sunday evening, helping out Hisagi in Squad 9 and learning more about what it truly meant to be a Soul Reaper.

He scowled at the thought of the kidō training; kidō was by far his worst skill, and also the least-fun. Twice now he had nearly blown himself up, and once he had accidentally fired a stray shot into the Squad 9 barracks, sending dozens of panicked shinigami running and screaming.

_At least I'm not as bad as Renji…_ he thought to himself, grinning. Despite having finally been promoted to the rank of Captain over Squad 5, Renji Abarai _still_ couldn't manage to use a kidō spell without blowing himself up or setting himself on fire, but Ichigo had managed to get a couple of spells right.

Sure, he'd only gotten them right _once_, but it was still one more than Renji…

Thinking about his friends in the Soul Society gave Ichigo another idea; maybe Orihime would feel more comfortable talking with Rangiku about everything that had happened. He knew that the two had become pretty close friends ever since Rangiku had stayed with her during the early part of the war, when the arrancar first began showing up, and the female Soul Reaper would almost certainly do anything to help her 'bosom buddy.'

Next item on his mental checklist: talk to Rangiku about Orihime.

Finally, he stood on Orihime's doorstop as lightning flashed overhead and thunder rolled, signaling an approaching storm.

The single fat droplet of rain that managed to come down and hit him square between the eyes was an even bigger sign, and he wiped it away before rapping his knuckles against the door.

"Hey, Orihime, you home?" he called casually.

"Um… Just a minute!" came the reply from the other side of the door, and Ichigo could hear a note of nervousness in her voice.

He frowned at that; why did she sound nervous? Was she still afraid of his inner hollow? Did she not feel safe around him without the others around?

The door opened just barely, and Orihime slipped outside to stand on the porch with Ichigo, closing the door behind her quickly.

"Um, hi Ichigo!" she said brightly, "I didn't expect to see you; I thought you had to go to the Seireitei today…"

"I've got a couple of hours… Listen, Orihime, I really need to talk to you about some things; can we go inside and sit down?"

"But it's a perfectly beautiful day out here…" she said weakly. At that, another crack of thunder split the sky open and the rain began to fall in earnest.

"You were saying?" said Ichigo, the tone of his voice the only dry thing left at the moment.

"Hehe…" she giggled forcibly. "I guess it's okay for a little while…just a moment."

Orihime quickly opened the door just enough to slide herself in real quick before shutting it again in Ichigo's face, and after a moment's hesitation she finally opened the door for him.

Ichigo ran a hand through his wet hair as he stepped inside, glancing around. Something about the house felt different from before, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it… Maybe she had just redecorated or something and it was throwing him off, but he couldn't be sure.

"Anyway, Orihime, you've been acting different ever since Hueco Mundo and I'm concerned for you…everyone's concerned for you." he began, and Orihime blushed slightly as she went to the kitchen to prepare some hot tea for the both of them.

"That's really sweet of you, Ichigo, but-"

"I'm not going to push you to talk about it yet." he said abruptly, silencing what he assumed to be a denial that anything was wrong, "But I do have something important to tell you, something you may not like."

"Oh, Ichigo, you can tell me anything!" she chirped over her shoulder, "It's not like I could ever be really mad at my friends."

"That's not exactly it…" he mumbled, picking up some sort of tag that was lying face down on the table curiously, "See, a couple of weeks ago, I ran into Coyote Starrk, Aizen's _primera_ Espada… He's still alive, Orihime, and living here in Karakura in a gigai."

"He's not doing anything wrong, is he? I mean, is he dangerous?"

"Starrk? I don't think so, not unless he's pushed into fighting. Somehow, he's managed to survive the war, and I think now he just wants a quiet life with his other half, the little kid…what's her name again? Lily-something or other."

"Lilynette…" offered Orihime as she brought over two cups of hot tea. "Well, as long as he's not evil, _I_ think it's okay, don't you?"

"Yeah…" said Ichigo as he turned the little tag over finally, instantly recognizing it as a nametag from Burger World.

_Ulquiorra._

"But then, you already _knew_ all about it, didn't you?" Ichigo asked irritably as he looked down at the tag. "_That's_ why you've been acting different! You _knew_ Starrk survived, and Ulquiorra, too, apparently!"

"Well… It's not like they're _hurting_ anyone; Starrk said that you told him everyone deserves a second chance, and they do. Aizen used them, just like he did everyone in the Soul Society." said Orihime defensively.

"Where's Ulquiorra?" Ichigo asked firmly as he sat the tag and the teacup down, struggling to remain calm in the face of this very unwelcome surprise, "Where is he, and who else survived?"

"I'm right here, Kurosaki." said a voice from behind him. He whirled around and found the former _cuarto_ Espada standing in the doorway to the bedroom that had once belonged to Orihime's brother.

To anyone else, Ulquiorra appeared a normal human, even if he was a bit pale: black jeans, dark gray sneakers, his red Burger World employee shirt, neatly combed hair…the gigai didn't show his mask remnants or his green facial markings, but Ichigo could still see the Demon Bat of Los Noches in there.

"How careless of me to forget my nametag…" mused the ex-Espada, "I suppose living here peacefully for so many months has made me lax."

"I saw you _die_…" Ichigo growled, "I watched your body turn to ash and disappear! How are you still alive?"

"I'm not sure 'alive' is an appropriate term to use for a spirit creature, but I still _exist_ because Orihime attempted to save me…" responded Ulquiorra as he walked into the living room, "While she gave up when it looked hopeless, she did just enough to re-vitalize my own regenerative powers. My body re-grew, even my organs, which would not have been possible without her assisstance, and I was given another chance. Orihime has graciously allowed me to stay with her ever since, and she has been trying to help me understand what it means to be human."

"But you're a monster!" bellowed Ichigo. "I _know_ what you're capable of! Hell, you're the one who originally kidnapped her!"

"She came _willingly_." corrected Ulquiorra, "And if you truly remember our fight, then you also know that _you_ were more monstrous than I; you even tried to murder one of your friends for attempting to reason with your inner demon. Stop distorting the facts in your favor, Kurosaki; you are no more pure and innocent than I am."

"Ichigo, it's okay…" said Orihime, stepping between the two men. "We've all made mistakes, and we've all learned from them; Aizen is gone, and Ulquiorra and the others just want the right to exist, nothing more! They've been here for months and nothing has happened! Doesn't that tell you that they've changed?"

"You cannot tell the Soul Society of our existence." Ulquiorra said. "They would not be as understanding as Orihime, and their judgment would most certainly be death to us all, including Urahara for supplying us with gigais and Orihime for housing me."

Ichigo sighed and slumped back against the wall, rubbing his face with his hands as he absorbed this information.

"Who else?" he asked finally. "Who else survived, and _please_ don't say Grimmjow."

"He is one." Ulquiorra confirmed. "Aside from him, there are only two others; Tia Halibel, the _tercera_, and Tyn Tethis, our new _quinto_."

"A _new_ number five?" asked Ichigo suspiciously, "If you're not up to anything, why do you need to re-fill your ranks?"

"We are not re-forming the Espada. Tyn was the original _sexta_ before he refused to served Aizen and fled Los Noches, but when we made a group decision to have our old numbers tattooed to our gigais as a reminder of our past, it made no sense to have two sixes. Since he was going to be the new number five after Neliel's disappearance, he took the _quinto_ position."

"Alright, I guess that makes _some_ sense…" grumbled Ichigo. "Look, as long as you guys continue to do…whatever it is you're doing without actually _harming_ anyone, then I won't tell the Soul Society. You can keep Grimmjow under control, can't you?"

"So far he has continued to obey orders from myself and Halibel… She has already promised to kill him if he jeopardizes our safety with his antics." Ulquiorra assured him. "I do not believe he will risk her wrath, or the wrath of the group as a whole, by misbehaving too badly."

"Too badly?" echoed Ichigo cautiously.

"Grimmjow is…Grimmjow." said Ulquiorra simply. "It is very likely that he will never be entirely free of his violent impulses; our goal is simply to keep him from harming or killing anyone. He routinely loses his temper and threatens customers, and I do not think that will ever change."

"But so long as he's not actually _hurting_ anyone…" added Orihime.

"As long as I don't see something about him on the evening news, I guess I can handle him being here…" sighed Ichigo. "Just do your best to keep that lunatic on a leash, and everything should be fine."

"We have made it four and a half months without a major incident."

"I'll feel better after four and a half _years_ without a major incident…" said Ichigo as he headed for the door. "I need to get going; I've got less than an hour before I'm supposed to be in the Seireitei. I'll keep your existence a secret…just don't make me regret it."

"Oh, thank you, Ichigo!" gushed Orihime, hugging him. "You won't regret it, you'll see!"

"Yeah…" he mumbled as he pried himself from her grip and excused himself, "We'll see."

* * *

Friday night, and Halibel had to work the night shift for once instead of the dayshift, leaving Tyn with the apartment all to himself until she got home around two in the morning: no yelling, no screaming, no insults, no abuse…

The peace was _almost_ enough to make him believe that there was a god smiling down on him somewhere.

Almost, but not quite.

Peace and quiet in the apartment, but the fridge was empty, and the television…well, it wasn't broke this time, but given the lack of _good_ shows on, it may as well have been. Tyn sat on his customary end of the couch, flipping through the channels in an attempt to find something, _anything_, that might be entertaining.

"Try new OXYCLEAN and you'll see-" spouted an overly-enthusiastic spokesman on the screen, and Tyn quickly shuffled to another channel.

*Click!*

"Call _now_ for the hottest live girls in Karakura! Only two hundred yen a minute-"

Yeah, _that_ was just what he wanted to do; waste money talking to some human bimbo on the phone…

*Click!*

"Edward, or Jacob?"

_How about dying in a fire?_ he thought bitterly as he skipped channels.

*Click!*

"The Spirits are _always_ with you!"

*Click!*

After several minutes and many, many infomercials and bad shows, he couldn't take it anymore and hefted his arm back as he prepared to throw the remote through the screen and end it all…and then he remembered Tia's dark promise of pain and suffering if he were to break another television.

"God damn it…" he growled as he turned the television off and dropped the remote on the glass coffee table roughly.

It wasn't supposed to be like this, it really wasn't; the first time in weeks he'd had the television all to himself, and not a single thing on _anywhere_ worth watching. Scowling, he began to tear through the small collection of blu-ray movies he and Halibel had purchased, but nothing in there caught his eye, either.

The only idea he could think of to alleviate his boredom was quite possibly the stupidest idea he'd ever had; going to The Oasis and waiting for Tia's shift to end was very likely to get him seriously hurt.

Then again, considering how much she _hated_ working the night shift, it might do her good to see a friendly face…

Yes, surely she wouldn't be _too_ mad at him for stopping by to check on her…

* * *

Just four more hours, and this nightmare would all be over with…

Halibel couldn't wait; working as a bartender during the day was irritating enough, but the night shift was a different animal, and Friday nights were even worse.

While The Oasis was a much cleaner and more-upscale bar than most others in the city, that didn't mean there was any shortage of drunken males making passes at her, and the occasional fool who tried to grope her ass whenever she walked by; the bouncers had already thrown three morons out for that tonight, and though she desperately _hoped_ that little demonstration by the bouncers would deter others, she knew better.

It wasn't like she was scantily dressed, either; the standard 'uniform' for a bartender at The Oasis was a simple white button-up shirt with long sleeves, a small black vest, and matching black slacks. While her ego would permit Halibel to admit to herself that she made the outfit look damn good, she also conceded that there was _nothing_ sexy enough about it that cried out to the world to "please grope me!"

At least the tips were great; being attractive and young-looking (even if she _did_ have trouble remembering how old she really was) sometimes meant tips as much as sixteen-hundred yen.

Of course, there was usually a phone number included with them, but that didn't bother her too much anymore; let them go home and sit by their phones waiting and hoping if they wished, but it would be a cold day in hell before she even _considered_ a human's 'company.'

_Still, better a human than Grimmjow_… she thought, _or Tyn._

Feigning a smile and giving a polite "Thank you, sir!," Halibel accepted payment and another tip from one more patron as he left the bar, leaving an empty stool in his wake. Sighing as soon as the man was out of earshot, she crumpled up the note containing a telephone number that had been mixed in with the bills and discarded it before depositing the payment into the register and the tip into her pocket. She grabbed the empty beer stein he'd left on the bar and turned around, putting her back to the bar as she began to clean mug with a washcloth.

She heard movement behind her and knew that someone else had just claimed the vacant barstool, and she hoped whoever it was had the good sense to _not_ reach over and grab her ass. Halibel sat the glass down and turned around to face her new customer, asking what he'd like.

"Welcome to The Oasis! What can I- _Tyn!_" she hissed in surprise, glaring death at the redhead perched on the barstool.

"Hi, Tia!" he replied, grinning idiotically.

"Home! _Now_!" she demanded, incensed that he would dare come to her place of work to make her feel even _more_ miserable.

"No. Beer. _Now_." he countered coolly.

"Go. Home." she growled, emphasizing each word darkly.

"Don't be like that; I came all the way here-"

"To annoy me!" she snarled, reaching across the bar and seizing him by the ear, hauling his torso across the countertop to be nose-to-nose with her. "Go home _or else_."

Their bickering had drawn a crowd, unfortunately, and the attention of one of the bouncers; a large muscular man who looked like he probably spent his weekends either lifting weights or popping steroids.

_Maybe both_, Tia thought as she looked at him and released her death grip on Tyn's ear.

"Miss Halibel, is this twerp bothering you?" asked the large man, preparing to grab Tyn and drag him from the bar violently if need be. Halibel didn't miss the grin that was nothing short of evil spreading across Tyn's face as he just waited for the bouncer to _try_ and get physical.

"It's fine, Dunc; this is my roommate, Tyn." she grumbled reluctantly. "He just came by to say hello and have a drink before going home."

Dunc looked at Tyn a moment, giving him a warning glare that would have been terrifying to a mere human, but the arrancar simply kept grinning darkly at him. Halibel was quite certain that Dunc could see the malice behind Tyn's smile and the unspoken promise of violence that accompanied it.

_Better that than for him to openly _laugh_ at Dunc, though,_ Tia admitted to herself. The big man would most likely get angry and _try_ to throw Tyn out, and then the raptor would undoubtedly rip his head off in a bloody shower of violence. After a long, tense standoff-ish moment, Dunc finally walked away, leaving Tyn to sit at the bar in relative peace.

"One drink…" Halibel hissed as she slid a full mug across the polished wood countertop to her roommate, "and then you go home!"

"I don't get why you have to be so hostile about it…" Tyn complained as he poked at the foamy head of beer at the mug's rim. "I mean, I know you hate working nights, and on a Friday to boot, so I just thought I'd come keep you company for a little while."

Halibel crossed her arms as she glared at him dubiously, not buying his story for one instant.

"There's nothing on TV, is there?" she asked finally.

"Not a goddamned thing." Tyn admitted, taking his first sip of the beer and making a face. "Jesus, this stuff is pretty foul. Humans actually drink this?"

"If you're not going to drink it, just go home." sighed an exasperated Halibel as she massaged her forehead to alleviate the headache that was beginning to set in.

"Eh, I might be able to get used to it…" said Tyn, taking another small sip. "Is it even _possible_ for us to get drunk?"

"If you _do _get drunk, I swear I'm going to drag you outside and make you sleep on the sidewalk." the blond promised bitterly as she rolled up her sleeves to her elbows and began to wipe off the dirty bar. Tyn remained silent for a couple of minutes, slowly sipping at the beer as he watched her aggressively scrub the wooden countertop clean.

"You're in a bad mood, aren't you?"

"Of _course_ I'm in a bad mood, you idiot!" Halibel snarled, almost losing control and shouting at the moron, "I'm working on a Friday night, surrounded by humans, _you're_ here, and people keep trying to grope me!"

"Is that normal around here? Am I supposed to be trying to-"

"_No_!" she yelled, wondering how anyone could be so stupid, "I don't _want_ to be groped by you or anyone else! All I want is for you to _go home_ and for my shift to end!"

"I was kidding, anyway; why would I even _want _to try and grab your-"

"_Go home_, Tyn!' she spat angrily, snatching the now half-empty mug away from him. "Just go home _now_!"

"…can I finish my beer?"

"No! Just _go_, damn it!" seethed Halibel, gripping the mug so tightly that the glass began to crack under the pressure.

"Okay, okay, no need to get so angry…" sulked Tyn as he stood to leave.

"Yeah, come on, lady, don't be such a mouthy _bitch_ about everything." slurred the intoxicated man on the stool beside Tyn.

Enraged, Tia opened her mouth to lay into him verbally as well, but that was as far as she made it before Tyn grabbed the man by the back of his head and slammed his face into the bar roughly, shattering his nose and sending a splash of crimson across the wooden surface. He released the now-unconscious human, letting him fall to the floor as the bouncers made their way over and the other patrons cleared away from the sudden explosion of violence.

"If anyone else _ever_ talks to her like that again, or touches her, you _will_ answer to me." Tyn announced threateningly to the crowd inside the bar. Never before had Halibel ever heard the bar go so unearthly quiet, not even after closing time and all the customers had left.

He handed Tia a few bills for his half-finished drink and made his way to the door, brushing past the bouncers as he went. They looked to Halibel to see if she wanted them to try and throw him out, but she shook her head and they let him pass without incident. She gestured to the man on the floor, and Dunc hauled him outside as she began to wipe the blood off the bar.

_God damn that moron_, she thought angrily as she scrubbed the countertop down again. The _nerve_ of him, coming down to her place of business and pestering her, and then, _then_ having the audacity to act like he was looking out for her! Oh, Halibel definitely planned on making him answer for his crimes when she got home; they were going to have a long "discussion" about minding his own business. One way or another, the idiot would learn his place, even if she literally had to _beat _some sense into him.

With some effort, she forced herself back into a routine of smiling and pretending to be nice to the bar patrons as they came and went throughout the rest of the night, mentally cursing her roommate's foolishness the entire time.

Still, despite how stupid and annoying he could be, Tyn had at least accomplished something useful in the end…

No one else dared to harass Tia for the rest of the night.


	7. The Trouble with Cats

**The Trouble with Cats**

The end of spring in the world of the living was an interesting time of year; the days were becoming longer and brighter, the air hotter, the customers more obnoxious, and tempers shorter.

Which, for those individuals who had short tempers to begin with, was _not_ a good thing.

"Put the customer _down_, Grimmjow!" barked Ulquiorra from the other side of the restaurant, and Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez just grinned sadistically as he kicked the lid off of one of the large trash bins in the dining room.

"Whatever you say, number four!" he laughed cruelly, stuffing the hapless man face-first into the garbage can. "I'm just doing my job and taking out the trash!"

Ulquiorra was nowhere near as amused as the _sexta_ as he helped the man from the garbage can, attempting to apologize for Grimmjow's behavior, but the damage was done; the man stormed out of Burger World without looking back, and everyone feared a visit from the police would be coming soon.

"How many times must I tell you _not_ to abuse the customers?" asked Ulquiorra, turning to look at the other male.

"How many times do I gotta tell these assholes not to make a mess in my dining room?" sneered Grimmjow. "Answer my question, and it'll answer yours."

"This is the fifth time today alone, Grimmjow…"

"Yeah, well, it's been a long fucking day." said Grimmjow dismissively as he placed the lid back on the trashcan.

"It's only noon." Ulquiorra corrected him coolly, but Grimmjow only shrugged as he went back to mopping the filthy floor, not caring what the _cuarto_ had to say. Really, screw him; he wasn't the one out on the floor dealing with all the idiotic humans and their messy habits.

"This behavior is unacceptable…" said Ulquiorra. "If this continues, you are going to bring unnecessary attention down on us… Trade places with Starrk; he will clean the dining room and you will manage the drive-through. Perhaps that will help keep you out of trouble."

Grimmjow allowed himself a smug little smile as he marched behind the counter and snatched the headset away from the _primera_ and shoved the mop into his hands. It was about bloody time he got a chance to do something other than mindless cleaning!

"This won't end well…" Starrk muttered, shaking his head as he went out onto the floor. Grimmjow scowled at him; screw him, too, if he had such little faith in the mighty Grimmjow! It's not like this was rocket surgery or anything; idiot pulls up, idiot orders food, idiot drives to window, and then you hold the food hostage in exchange for the idiot's money. It was simple!

_If those two moronic teenagers on the late shift can do it, then so can I!_ Grimmjow thought to himself arrogantly.

The headset crackled in his ear, alerting him to his first customer at the drive-through.

"This is Burger World; what the hell do you want?" he barked into the microphone, prompting Starrk to facepalm out on the floor.

"Excuse me?" asked the female voice on the other hand, sounding more than a little confused and offended by Grimmjow's greeting.

"Are you deaf or just stupid?" growled the Espada, "I asked what the hell do you want, moron!"

"Nothing from here! I'm going to WacDonald's!" responded the outraged customer before driving off, leaving an enraged Grimmjow yelling obscenities into the microphone.

"That's not the way to talk to 'em…" said Starrk from out in the dining room, never looking up from his task of mopping the floor, "It's 'Welcome to the World! What can I get for you today?,' no screaming or cursing, no threats or insults. Gotta make them feel like we _want_ their business, not like you want to claw their eyes out."

"I'm not going to be subservient to some friggin' human!" declared Grimmjow.

"Consider it more like acting…" Tyn offered, "because that's all it really is; _p__retend_ you're a nice guy until they give you a reason to go crazy."

The headset beeped again, and Grimmjow resigned himself to _trying_ to play nice for the moment.

"Welcome to the World!" he said into the mic, scowling the entire time. "What can I get for you today?"

"I want the number one-"

"What the hell?" demanded Grimmjow, face twisting in anger, "I'm _better_ than Starrk, you got that, punk? You deal with _me_, or you get _nothing_, you stupid son of a-"

The sound of squalling tires cut Grimmjow off as the customer sped away, most likely to go to another restaurant.

"Grimmjow…" began Ulquiorra from behind, "he was asking for a number one combo meal, _not_ to speak with Starrk over you."

"How the hell was I supposed to know- _shut up, Tyn_!" raged Grimmjow as the redhead in the kitchen began to laugh loudly at his mistake.

"Maybe I should take back over…" suggested Starrk, leaning heavily on the mop. "I don't think you have the people skills for this."

"I have _plenty_ of skills! More than enough for the likes of this! Just wait and see!" seethed the _sexta_ as another beep alerted him to a new customer, "Welcome to the World! What can I get for you today? Number three combo and a large Coke, no problem! Drive around to the window!"

"He took an order without threatening violence… I'm amazed." said Tyn as he began preparing the customer's order, still shaking his head in disbelief.

"Nothing to it!" boasted Grimmjow smugly, opening up the window and leaning outside, "Now give me the money or I'm shoving your order in the garbage!"

"Easy, bro! I got the mon-"

"_Now_, jackass! Pay up or else!" threatened Grimmjow shaking his fist, and the human responded by speeding off while calling him a psychopath.

"GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A-" roared the _sexta_ as he began to crawl through the window to give chase before Ulquiorra grabbed him by his waistband and yanked him back inside.

"You remind them what the charge is, Grimmjow; you do not extort money from them. This is not a hostage negotiation." said Ulquiorra, looking over at Starrk. "It seems I was mistaken; perhaps you two _should_ switch back…"

Starrk wasted no time in returning to his post and snatching the headset away from the disgruntled Grimmjow, who reluctantly accepted his mop back in return. Everyone in the restaurant could hear the Panther Lord growling angrily as he marched back out into the dining room, muttering darkly about blood and vengeance as he began to swab the floors.

The few remaining customers inside all exchanged nervous looks as Grimmjow and his mop neared their tables before collectively deciding that they were finished with their meals and ready to leave.

At least they took care to avoid the freshly-mopped section of the floor on their way out, and Grimmjow smirked at that as he leaned the mop against the wall and began to wash the tables off with a washcloth. If they'd been stupid enough to step foot on his clean floor after everything else, not even Ulquiorra would have been able to save their miserable lives.

"Perhaps you can try the drive-through on another day, when you're calmer." offered Ulquiorra from the counter up front, but Grimmjow just shook his head.

"It ain't for me." he admitted. "All it's going to take is one wrong word and I'm throwing a cup of hot grease or scalding coffee in someone's face… Besides, that stupid headset is irritating as piss."

"That's surprisingly mature of you to say, Grimmjow." said the _cuarto_. "Never before have you admitted that you could not handle a job."

"The world _must_ be ending." quipped Tyn, and Starrk gave a light chuckle as Grimmjow glared death at the both of them.

Deciding to ignore them before the urge to kill set it, he returned to mopping the floor and lost himself in thought; so the drive-through had beaten him, so _what_? He was still Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, and he would find something more befitting of his time and energy later, drive-through, customers, and the others all be damned! There was absolutely no way that an individual of his talents would be stuck mopping floors forever, and someday he'd break free of the shackles of Burger World to find _real _success.

He just hoped that when that day came he wasn't too 'mature' to rub it in everyone's face.

* * *

Working late annoyed the hell out of Halibel; ideally, she liked to be leaving The Oasis just as the crowds began to show up after a long day at their own jobs, but things weren't always so smooth. Two hours over wasn't _too_ bad, though, especially compared to the night shift or the weekend, and the extra money it earned her helped make it all easier to deal with, even offsetting her foul mood.

The elevator was empty this evening, and she welcomed the quiet ride to the tenth floor as opposed to sharing the small, enclosed space with anybody. She allowed herself a small smile at her stroke of luck; extra money and an empty elevator…really, what more could she want?

Other than being able to afford her apartment without the need for a roommate, of course.

She exited on the tenth floor and headed down the hall to her apartment at the end, only to once again find herself ambushed by the little girl who lived just across the hall, Emi.

"Miss Halle Belle, Slurpee ran away!" she cried, and Halibel twitched. Slurpee was the girl's new cat, the one her parents had gotten for her when they'd failed to find her previous pet, who had ended up being Tyn's dinner.

_Not again…I swear I'm going to _kill_ him_, she thought darkly, her almost-good mood evaporating as she knelt down beside Emi.

"It's Tia, okay?" she reminded the child, speaking as gently as she could manage given the circumstances. "Have you looked everywhere for him? Maybe he's just hiding."

"I looked and looked and looked but he's _gone_!" she cried, "He ran away, just like Bungie did! Why do my kitties keep running away, Miss Tia?"

Suppressing her bubbling rage at Tyn and disgust at what she was about to do next, Halibel opted to do the _human_ thing and hugged child gently, trying to comfort her.

"I don't know, Emi… Maybe they just don't realize how lucky they are to have a loving home." she offered. "Don't give up on Slurpee yet, though; cats like to wander around, so maybe he'll come home in a little while. Try and stay positive, okay?"

Emi sniffled and forced a smile, thanking "Miss Halle Belle" before going back to her own apartment, leaving Tia still kneeling in the hall. She stood up slowly, balling her hands into tight fists as she stalked down the hall towards her apartment.

It was the end of the world for a certain red-headed, feather-brained, burger-flipping, cat-munching moron…

* * *

_Maybe I should make dinner or order a pizza…_ Tyn thought to himself as he flipped through the television channels aimlessly; Halibel should be home soon, and coming home to find a hot meal waiting for her should put her in a better mood.

Not that her "good moods" ever seemed to last long, anyway.

His musing were shattered by the sound of the front door slamming, and he turned to welcome his perpetually-angry roommate home, but she'd already covered the distance to the couch and clasped a hand around his throat tightly, hoisting him up into the air as he attempted to pry her fingers loose.

"What did I tell you last time?" she demanded, "What did I say after you ate Bungie? What did I say when the girl got Slurpee?"

Tyn opened his mouth to try and answer, but the death-grip on his throat prevented him from making any intelligible sounds.

"I _warned_ you not to touch the stupid cat!" she roared in his face, "I told you what would happen if you pulled this crap again, didn't I?"

He was still unable to answer, to defend himself against her charges, but that didn't stop him from trying. Tia curled up her lip in disgust at his gurgling as he tried to speak before turning and tossing him across the room, knocking a lamp off the end table at the far end of the couch and shattering it against the floor.

"Tia, wait…" he wheezed, pushing himself back up to his knees as she stalked over to him. "I didn't-"

"Shut up!" she snarled, driving a foot into his midsection and forcing the wind from him. The _quinto_ went rolling across the floor before coming to a stop against the wall, clutching his chest and coughing up a tiny bit of the gigai's fake blood.

"I didn't touch the stupid cat!" he managed to say finally as he tried to get back to his feet, but his claim only seemed to make her angrier as she grabbed a fistful of hair roughly and jerked his head back, and the searing pain left Tyn thinking that she had actually pulled out the entire clump of hair.

"Don't you _dare_ lie to me…" she hissed in his face. "I _know_ you, you moron. I _know_ what goes on inside that savage little brain of yours."

She drew her other hand back, preparing to slam a fist into his face when mercifully, a knock at the door distracted her.

"Miss Halle Belle!" called a tiny voice from the other side, "Are you home? Miss Halle Belle!"

"Don't move a muscle…" she warned, dropping Tyn back to the ground as she straightened her clothes and hair before making her way over to the door, putting on the same fake smile she wore at the bar.

"Yes, Emi?" she asked as she opened the door, and then froze when she saw the girl standing their holding a fluffy white cat.

"I found him, Miss Halle Belle!" Emi announced cheerfully, "He was playing in the stairwell the whole time! Isn't that great?"

Halibel heard movement behind her and knew that Tyn was getting to his feet despite her warning and making his way over to gloat that she'd made a mistake.

"That's wonderful." she told Emi, the smile becoming more forced as Tyn moved to stand beside her.

"Mister Tyn, are you okay?" asked Emi, looking up as his disheveled form with concern.

"I'm fine…" he said, trying his best to force a smile as he glanced sideways at Tia, "I fell, that's all."

"You should be more careful…" Emi chided, wagging a finger at him "Mommy tells me to pick up all my toys so they don't trip me, and not to run indoors because that's a no-no."

"I'll keep that in mind…" he said dryly, never tearing his eyes away from Halibel as he debated his options.

"Anyway, I gotta go home now; mommy's making spaghetti for dinner! I just wanted to tell you I found Slurpee!" said Emi. Tia smiled and told her she was glad she'd found the cat and wished her goodbye before closing the door and turning to face Tyn, who was waiting expectantly with his arms folded across his chest.

"I'm _not_ apologizing." Tia growled, looking him in the eye. "You probably _would_ have done it eventually; just consider tonight a preview of what will happen if you _do_."

"Except I promised you last time that I _wouldn't_." he snarled. "You know that. I want to hear it, Tia. Even if you don't mean it, swallow your pride and just _say_ it and we'll both be happier. It's just two little words."

"Fuck. You." she stated coolly.

"Only if you apologize." he quipped without thinking, and Tia's eyes doubled in size at the shock of him _suggesting _such a thing. Before Tyn even had time to realize what was going on, she'd rammed another fist into his gut, forcing him to hunch over before then driving her knee upwards into his face.

Tyn crumpled to the floor holding his bloody nose as Tia swiftly turned and stormed off to her bedroom, slamming the door behind her hard enough to rattle the walls.

After a long moment, Tyn finally crawled back up to his feet and leaned heavily against the wall to brace himself as he spit out some blood, glaring at Tia's door.

"Home, sweet Hell…"


	8. Nightmare I

**Nightmare I - Tyn**

It was only when working in the badlands in the middle of summer that one could truly come to understand and appreciate exactly why the area was called "the badlands." The July sun was relentless as it rained blazing heat down upon the researchers, and the misery of it all made even the most stoic among them began to complain.

It wasn't exactly the fabled Montana Badlands but rather a rough section of Utah known as the Cedar Mountain Formation, and many of the older, more-experienced researchers swore it was much, _much_ hotter here than Montana had _ever_ been, even in the worst seasons.

Doctor Tyler Nigel Tethis, though, had long since given up complaining about the heat. He removed his tan, weather-beaten digger's hat from his head and wiped the sweat from his brow, taking a moment to run his hand through his sweat-soaked dark red hair before replacing the hat and opening his canteen.

No, it wasn't the heat that bothered Dr. Ty N. anymore…

Twenty-three, and his first real dig as a paleontologist was turning out to be a massive letdown.

For years, teams had been coming to this particular site and finding new fossils but they were always herbivores, the plant-eaters, lumbering giants of the dinosaur world. There had to be carnivores out here _somewhere_ and Tyn had hoped to be the one to finally find them.

That wasn't going so well.

The team he was working with had found the remains of a _Tenontosaurus tilletti_, which Tyn personally classified as an over-glorified eight-meter long two-ton _cow_.

Some of the others had accused him of slacking at the dig over the past few days but he ignored them; he was after the elusive meat-eaters, whatever had been the top of the food chain around here several million years ago. Let the others waste time playing in the dirt with the _prey_ animals if they wanted, but he wanted to find the predators and tell _their_ side of the story.

Sure, Tenontosaurs were a relatively 'new' species, having only been described some three years earlier in 1970, but that didn't make this find exciting to him in the least.

Not in his eyes, anyway, even though the rest of the team would disagree rather vehemently.

He understood something they didn't; Mother Nature wasn't a friendly animal that was cuddly and pleasant to be around. Mother Nature was a bitch, pure and simple: it was all teeth, claws, blood, death, and survival of the fittest. He knew that, and he wanted, no, he _needed_ to find the predators around here to wake everyone up from their idyllic fantasy about gentle giants roaming the lands in peace and harmony.

"Hey, you going to help or not?" called one of the other researchers down in the pit, and Tyn just rolled his eyes at the nuisance.

"Just a minute…" he lied, "I'll be right there."

His answer seemed to satisfy the other man as he went back to his excavating, with Tyn using the opportunity to escape, swiftly walking to the other side of the massive rock outcropping they were working at and heading away from the dig site, going further into the badlands.

_Like hell I'm going to waste my time down there_, he thought bitterly. They may have been willing to sit down and excavate the first group of fossils they found but he sure as hell wasn't.

He wandered for a couple of hours, following the narrow trails that snaked through the barren wastes and keeping a sharp eye out for anything that might be of interest. There just _had_ to be something worthwhile out here, something special waiting to be discovered, something waiting for _him_.

So far, he'd found nothing but rocks, dust, and the occasional rattlesnake that didn't want to be disturbed.

Tyn scowled as he walked along a ridge, kicking a rock over the edge and watching it bounce and roll down the steep incline.

He wanted recognition, to be the one to finally solve the riddle of where the carnivores were and what species they had been. So many others had essentially given up and assumed this particular area had been a paradise, but he wanted to be known as the one lone paleontologist who had seen the truth of it all.

He thrust his hands in his pockets and turned to head back for the dig, preparing to go into to the pit with the others and at least _pretend_ to be excited about their stupid oversized cow. He'd only made it a couple of steps when he saw something odd out of the corner of his eye, further down the steep ridge.

Tyn knelt down and squinted his eyes to see better, raising a hand up to help block out the glare of the evening sun. Was that a _tooth_ down there? Jesus, it looked pretty large and decidedly pointy.

"Bingo…" he whispered, a smile of victory slowly spreading across his face.

The safest course of action was to return to the dig and grab a couple of people to help him and a rope that he could anchor to a sturdy rock outcropping and use it to help him descend the sharply-angled ridge.

Not practical, though; if he went back without proof, no one would believe him and he was dangerously close to being kicked off the team as it was for not working.

"But if I brought the tooth back with me…" he mused aloud, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. They wouldn't be able to ignore or deny him then and everyone would be forced to acknowledge that _his_ find was far more significant than the stupid Tenontosaur they were currently excavating.

The ridge was steep and it would be dangerous going but by his reckoning, he could manage to climb down and retrieve the tooth just fine so long as he was extra-careful and watched his footing.

Deciding that it was worth the risk, Tyn began to slowly climb down the rocky ridge, working his way down to his prize. He wondered what species it would be…a rex, maybe? He was sure he'd be able to identify it once he had it in his hand and he grinned tightly in anticipation.

Best expedition _ever_.

His momentary distraction nearly cost him as he lost his footing, the rock he'd set his foot on being nowhere near as stable as it looked. The stone went tumbling down the hillside and Tyn just barely managed to grab hold of a larger, sturdier rock with both hands, narrowly preventing himself from a fatal fall. He looked down and watched the smaller stone as it fell, noting just how high and steep the ridge really was.

Another screw up like that could cost him his life…

_Then I'll just be more careful_, he thought, undeterred by the danger. He still felt it was worth the risk and he was positive that he could do this just fine on his own; he didn't need the others for this or anything else. He worked better alone and hell, maybe he wouldn't tell _anyone_ about this find and would simply keep coming back to dig it up solo, keeping all the credit to himself.

It took nearly fifteen minutes of careful climbing to reach his prize, but when he arrived Tyn made extra sure that his footing was stable and that he always had a good grip on the deeply-embedded rocks around him with one hand at all times.

Left hand tightly gripping a rock anchored into the side of the ridge, he used his right to tug and pull at the exposed tooth. The earth held onto it's prize tightly but not quite tightly enough and after a few minutes of prying, Tyn had his holy grail in his hand.

"Not a tooth…" he muttered as he examined it. It was a claw, a large, wickedly sickle-shaped claw. His first thought was _Deinonychus antirrhopus_, as they were known to have roamed this region of the continent, but none had ever been found in this area and definitely none so large; the claw was almost eight inches long, considerably larger than the average Deinonychus.

_A new species?_ he wondered hopefully.

That would be amazing, the feather in his cap to lord over all the others; not only had he found the elusive carnivores of the area, they were a new species!

Something else caught his eye and he began to brush off the loose dirt and dust near where the claw had been found, revealing a partial skull embedded in the rock. An empty eye socket stared forlornly out of the reddish-brown stone and Tyn grinned again as he looked at it closely, noting the visible features.

_Definitely_ a new species.

He couldn't wait to get back to the dig site and tell the others, to gloat about his find. There were veteran researchers who would probably eat their hats over this news, maybe even retire in shame.

Tyn couldn't extract the partial skull to take with him, but he had the claw and that would be more than enough. He began to climb back up the hill, visions of museums displaying specimens named after himself dancing in his head when he heard an ominous rattling sound above him.

He glanced up and saw a rattlesnake perilously close to his left hand that was still grasping the rock face tightly and time seemed to slow as the deadly reptile lunged forward, mouth open and fangs already glistening with venom. Tyn jerked his hand away from the rock fast enough to save himself from a potentially fatal bite but the act cost him his delicate balance; his footing gave way and with a cry of fear he began to fall backwards and tumble down the unforgiving rocky hillside.

The claw forgotten, he dropped it as he scrambled to try and grab hold of something, _anything_ stable and solid, but every rock he managed to grab hold of came loose and went bouncing down the ridge along with him. He slammed into one rock hard and felt a sharp pain in his chest and he knew he'd just shattered several ribs, but he'd barely had time to register that pain before his left knee struck another rock and shattered like glass under the impact.

He changed his mind and decided that this _wasn't_ worth the risk.

He screamed for help as he continued his hellish descent down the ridge, but he knew he was too far from the dig site for anyone to possibly hear him. Even if they did, it would be far, far too late by the time anyone arrived.

Tyn's head slammed into another stone, coating the brown sandstone with a bright coat of red and dazing the paleontologist for a moment. His vision had gone blurry with that shot and he could see red seeping into his eyes. The entire side of his skull felt wet and he didn't even want to imagine how bad the damage truly was.

He impacted against another rock and felt his jaw shatter and he knew he swallowed a few of his teeth in the process but it didn't matter anymore. This couldn't last for much longer, it would end soon, it _had_ to end soon; the human body simply couldn't take this much punishment.

He felt his right arm twist and snap at the elbow, but that pain barely registered over the countless other injuries.

_Please, just let it end…_ he prayed silently.

The universe, it seemed, was not without a sense of mercy as Tyn finally blacked out before hitting the bottom.

* * *

Tyn awoke with a gasp, sitting straight up and looking around at the rocks and sand that surrounded him.

"I'm alive…" he said slowly, not quite believing it. "I made it!"

He laughed at his good fortune as he got to his feet, amazed beyond words to not only be alive, but to be unhurt! Hell, he'd never felt better! His legs weren't broken, neither was his arm, his head wasn't smashed, his jaw was intact… Sure, he'd probably hit his head on the way down and then he'd probably just imagined the rest!

It was a miracle he'd survived! No, scratch that- it was _luck__!_ Tyn laughed at his good fortune, feeling like the luckiest bastard to ever grace God's green Earth; not only had he survived a supposedly-fatal fall but he had found the claw-

_The claw!_

He'd forgotten about it during the fall and had let it go, but now that he knew he was fine, it was suddenly important once again. He _had_ to find it; it was the only proof he had for his claims of carnivores and a new species.

Tyn looked down at the ground around him, desperately searching for it, and as he turned to look behind him, he felt the color drain from his face.

"No…" he said, falling to his knees, "That's not possible. It _can't_ be! I'm alive, I know I am!"

But it didn't matter what he _thought_ he knew; before him lay a battered and broken corpse, a very familiar corpse whose green eyes stared up at the blazing afternoon sun vacantly.

His legs were twisted at odd angles, as was his right arm. There was a noticeable depression in the chest cavity from the collision with the rock and his neck was twisted at such an impossible angle that Tyn knew it to be broke. His jaw was shattered and most of his teeth gone, and the left side of his skull was visibly fractured, with some of the scalp torn away.

Tyn fell back off his knees and onto his rear, covering his mouth with his hands and trying valiantly not to be ill.

As he moved his arms, he felt them brush against something on his chest and he heard a strange 'clanking' sound. Looking down, he noticed a broken chain hanging down from his torso, with one end firmly anchored where his heart should be.

_The 'chain of fate…'_ he though miserably, having heard the myths about it during a lecture back in college. Supposedly someone who was near-death but not beyond hope would have an intact chain linking their soul to their body, and that meant that someone with a broken chain was…

"Dead." he finished aloud, still not wanting to believe it.

He sat beside his corpse, unsure of where to go or what to do. He knew that a spirit probably wasn't supposed to linger on Earth, but how was he supposed to know _where_ he should be? Maybe if he stayed here until his body was recovered, that would allow his soul to find peace and cross-over to…wherever it was ghosts went.

Yes, that made perfect sense; his soul couldn't rest until his body was found and given a proper burial.

Surely it wouldn't be long; the others _had_ to have noticed that he was missing by now and they would be looking for him, if only to yell at him and finally throw him off the dig team. It was only a matter of time, and then this nightmare would all be over…

Tyn watched the vultures circle overhead and come down for a free meal every now and again, hoping to enjoy the bounty of fresh meat. The ghost swatted at them in irritation, only to find that his decidedly non-corporeal hand passed right through the birds harmlessly.

Still, they apparently sensed _something_ unusual and would fly off, but it was only a temporary reprieve; they always came back for another try after a few short minutes.

The sun finally went down and the long day gave way to night, and still no one came to find him. He never even heard anyone calling out for him.

Maybe they hadn't noticed he was gone.

Maybe they just didn't _care_.

He sighed and looked down at the chain in his chest, watching the links slowly devour each other to pass the time. It was a disturbing sight to be sure, but it was better than watching the insects and scavengers that were attracted by his body, some of whom weren't easily dissuaded by the swatting from his ghostly hand.

Tyn wondered what would happen when the chain devoured itself entirely; would he cease to exist? Would he cross over, regardless of whether or not his body had been found?

His observations of the chain had revealed another interesting tidbit of information; the more distressed he allowed himself to feel over what was happening to his body, or experience despair over feeling forgotten, the faster the chain ate itself. Negative emotions appeared to have an adverse effect on it, which forced him to re-examine the possibilities for when the chain finally encroached his heart.

It was a long, lonely night, followed by another long, lonely day.

The hot July sun continued to pound it's heat waves into the ground mercilessly and while Tyn had no doubt that the others were at the dig again, still no one had come looking for him.

It was a cycle that repeated itself for two more days until Tyn could stand it no more, finally heading off into the desert and leaving his decaying body behind as he looked for something, _anything_, that might point him towards the afterlife.

The chain had grown even shorter thanks to his growing despair and loneliness and it wouldn't be long now before it was gone entirely, and then he would find out first hand the consequences of a lost fate-chain.

Tyn wondered if maybe he deserved this, if perhaps this was some form of punishment for his earlier attitude towards his peers. He felt sorry for his refusal to help the others now, felt remorse for the arrogance he'd displayed, but it was too little too late and as he watched the chain grow closer and closer, he feared what the night would bring.

The moon was riding high in the desert sky when it finally happened and he fell to the ground clutching at his chest and screaming as the chain finished eating itself and began devouring his heart bite by agonizing bite. The searing pain was a thousand times worse than anything he could have ever imagined in his wildest nightmares, worse than even the memory of the fall down the ridge.

_This is it_, he thought morosely, _this is the end of me_.

He began to cough violently before throwing up a thick, white mess that looked eerily like the plaster they used to make casts of fossils, but this plaster-like goop wrapped itself around his head and began to harden, suffocating him.

Tyn thrashed about on the ground, clawing the earth and trying to scream but no words would come out until the material finally hardened into a white boney mask that covered his face entirely. A mouth formed in the mask and Tyn's screams of pain and anguish echoed across the empty desert, but the sounds were no longer human or anything close to it; they were dark and haunting, the cries of a newborn demon.

Black talons cut into the earth, leaving deep gouges as Tyn dragged his hands across the ground before pushing himself up to his feet slowly.

The pain was gone now, replaced by a burning hunger the likes of which he'd never known before. He tilted his head back and lifted his long mask-covered snout into the air and howled again, letting the world know of his ravenous appetite.

Wait, _snout_?

He stopped and looked at his hands, noting the claws on them before he slowly reached up and began to feel his mask-covered face. He felt his foot twitch and he looked down to see that they, too, were clawed, with the inner-most claws being large and sickle-shaped.

It was all very fascinating to the former-paleontologist but highly insignificant at the moment; the hunger was all that mattered anymore.

He sniffed the air, zeroing in on an unfamiliar yet strangely-delectable scent riding on the night winds. Instinctively, Tyn began to follow it across the badlands, letting his nose and the emptiness in his stomach guide him to another body lying deeper in the desert. He nudged the human corpse with his clawed foot, cocking his head sideways as he looked down at it thoughtfully.

_Someone got lost in the desert and got dehydrated_, he surmised, but it wasn't the smell of the corpse that had attracted him. He sniffed again the air again and whirled to his right to face a large rock outcropping, narrowing his cold, amber-colored eyes as he peered into the darkness. After a moment, a human face timidly stuck it's head out from behind the rock, staring at Tyn with undisguised fear in his eyes.

He knew it was a spirit, knew it was another lost and forgotten soul just like he was.

_No, that's not right… Not like me…_

Tyn's empty stomach growled louder and louder the longer he stared at the lost soul, the all-consuming hunger compelling him to think about the unthinkable. Involuntarily he began to tap the sickle claw on his right foot against the hard, baked earth as his new instincts waged a bitter war against his still-human morals.

And then the poor soul hiding behind the rock lost his last remaining ounce of courage and ran deeper into the desert, uselessly screaming for help that was nowhere to be found.

Tyn watched him run for a second, watched his retreating backside as the hunger continued to gnaw at him relentlessly, urging him along a dark path. As he took a single tentative step forward towards the running man, he could literally _feel _the last broken fragments of his own humanity falling away from his being and Tyn let one more bloodcurdling howl fill the night as he made his decision.

The hunger won.

The hunger would always win.

* * *

Tyn woke up with a sharp gasp for air, sitting up from his small pallet on the floor.

He wasn't lost in the desert of Utah anymore and neither was he the simple hollow he had been; he was home in his apartment, in Karakura, lying in his bedroom.

Tia had once referred to his bedroom as 'the Green Hell' because of how hot he kept it and because of all the greenery, ranging from the jungle-motif walls to the dozens of artificial ferns he had scattered about the room. He'd always kept it hot and humid in here, but after the nightmare it was suddenly _too_ hot, even for him.

He stood up, popping his neck as he turned off the humidifier in the corner and cracked open his window to let in the cooler night air from outside. He scowled angrily as his stomach began to rumble, sounding almost as empty as it had been on that first night so many years ago

Tyn opened the bedroom door and made his way to the kitchen, feeling the urge to kill something bubbling deep inside.

He _hated_ that nightmare, that memory. He hated the hunger that had been never-ending and when Aizen had forcibly evolved him into an arrancar, Tyn had been so glad to finally feel the constant void in his stomach subside and return to something that was _almost_ normal.

But any time he had that nightmare, the feeling of insatiable hunger came back in force.

It had been a long time since he'd eaten another soul, be they human or otherwise, and current circumstances ensured he would probably _never_ eat another one, so he had to make do with the best he could; a sandwich piled high with every type of lunch meat the refrigerator had to offer, including a few pieces of raw bacon.

Evolving had let him and the others choose between real food and souls, although souls had remained the diet of choice for most arrancars; they were, after all, far more fulfilling than any other meal could ever hope to be. No other food, however delicious, could ever compare to the taste of a genuine soul.

He sat down at the bar in the kitchen and began to eat his sandwich slowly and deliberately, his keen sense of hearing telling him that in the other bedroom, Tia was thrashing about wildly, trapped in the throes of her own nightmares. He growled to himself when he heard her finally wake up with a sharp gasp, knowing that she would most likely be coming out of her room soon and Tyn was not anxious for _any_ company right now, least of all his perpetually-bitchy roommate.

All he wanted was to eat his meal in peace and then go back to bed; was that so much to ask of the universe?

Apparently it was as Tia's door swung open and she stepped out into the living room. Their eyes locked onto each other from across the apartment, with a silent warning passing between them that they should each just keep to themselves.

Tyn watched the blonde prepare a sandwich of her own and she paused momentarily to glare angrily at him, a glare that he responded to with a low, threatening growl in the back of his throat. She turned away from him hatefully and finished compiling her sandwich before taking a seat at the end of the bar, as far from Tyn as she could possibly sit.

To hell with her, anyway; she couldn't _possibly_ understand what he'd been through.


	9. Nightmare II

**Nightmare II - Tia**

The sun was shining brightly in the noon sky, the sand of the beach was pleasantly warm, and the waves were relentless; all in all, it was a perfect July day, made more perfect only by the group of embarrassed men who refused to even look at her after she'd put them all in their place.

Tia Halibel smirked to herself as she propped her board up on it's tail and looked out at the rolling sea, drinking in the sweet, sweet feeling of victory.

Surfing, they'd said, was a man's sport. Only a man could tame the waves successfully. Only a man had the keen sense of balance to stay upright in the rough waters, and only a man had the strength to swim out into the ocean against the lesser waves to catch that one perfect wave…

They were eating their words _now_, oh yes indeed.

Halibel wasn't just the best _female_ surfer on the west coast; she was the best on the west coast period, gender be damned. Twenty-four, and she'd spent the last two years going up and down the coast proving herself against the best she could find, all of whom had been men, and all of whom had mocked her at first.

The mocking never lasted long, though.

She ran a hand through her wet, short blond hair and grinned wider as she watched one of the men lose his balance and fall off his board into the surf.

Her goal was recognition, pure and simple; she wanted the surfing community of California to acknowledge that she was one of the all-time greats, a legend in her own right. She wanted them to admit that her skill was unmatched by any male, that absolutely no man and no one was her equal.

Except her plans weren't exactly working out that well…

She'd thought the ongoing Women's Liberation Movement across the county, with women demanding equal pay and respect from men, would help her cause along, perhaps citing her as an example of how women were just as talented, but so far nothing had come of it; other than a couple of recent surf films, the sport was widely disregarded by the rest of the population and she remained an unknown star, even in the eyes of the Liberation Movement leaders.

Maybe it was time to go elsewhere and conquer new waves; Hawaii had a very active surfing community, and Australia's was growing pretty rapidly, too. It might not be a bad idea to dip into some of daddy's money and take a little trip to one or the other for a couple of weeks and show up the locals. Hell, if she managed to show up everyone in Hawaii on top of what she'd already accomplished in California, surely _that_ would get her the recognition she deserved.

Yes, that was it; she'd go tame the Hawaiian currents and make the locals look like a bunch of incompetent beginners, and then people would notice her.

And if _that_ failed, Australia had better watch out.

Tia hefted the blue and yellow board under her arm and strode out towards the water again, savoring the feel of wet sand between her toes as she went, even though the others were all beginning to pack up.

"Waves are getting too rough…" someone told her, "Hard to stand up, and the rip currents are absolutely brutal right now. I think we should all just pack it up and go home for today."

"Maybe it's too rough and brutal for _you_, but nothing's too much for me." she boasted, chin held high. Just like a male to hide behind excuses like rip currents and rough waves instead of admit his own shortcomings…

Well, she'd show him.

She'd show _all_ of them.

Ignoring the protests of the others, she took her board and headed into the surf, laying on top of the seven-foot slab of wood and fiberglass and paddling out to sea against the waves as she waited for the big one, the perfect wave.

She did note, however, that it was a lot easier to get out away from the shore than usual in-between waves, signifying that maybe, just maybe, the complaint about the rip current was valid after all.

No matter; it was nothing she couldn't handle.

She saw the next wave coming, a decently-sized one, and she grinned and she prepared herself, letting it lift the board into the air slightly and begin to carry her towards shore before getting to her feet and taking control.

It was a bigger wave than she'd expected, one of the biggest she'd ever rode, and rougher, too…but that wasn't going to stop her. No, it was only going to help her drive the point home that she was the queen of the waves.

She felt a surge of pride in herself when she saw the others on the beach, the men in particular, looking at her mastery of the waves in awe, some shaking their heads in disbelief.

_Believe it, boys; I'm better than you'll ever be!_

No time to taunt them or show-off, though; a wave like this could easily throw her from the board if she let her attention waiver too much.

The wave began to grow higher and Tia dropped down to ride through the tube forming as the white water began to crest overhead. She reached out to touch the rolling wall of water with her hand, trailing her fingers along as she rode through the tube.

Big wave, big tube; she couldn't recall having ever been inside a tube so large, and given the size, staying in it too long wouldn't be a good idea… If she was too slow exiting, the water rolling overhead would come crashing down on top of her with dangerous force.

She couldn't see the shore anymore for the tube around her and that was a frightening experience; a wall of water like this could potentially kill a man if it collapsed on top of them.

…_or a woman_, she thought sourly.

Halibel wanted her recognition, but she didn't want it posthumously.

The tube began to grow more and more unstable, and her heart nearly jumped out of her chest a couple of times from fright. This was stupid, so very stupid… Damn her pride, damn it all! If she made it out of this alive, she swore to any god that would listen that she'd choose her waves more carefully next time.

At least one deity answered her silent prayers as a break opened in the wall of water, allowing her to exit mere seconds before the entire wave came crashing down mercilessly.

But she was safe; she'd survived the massive wave that she now realized to have been, by far, the biggest she'd ever seen.

The biggest she'd ever seen…and she had _mastered_ it. She coasted into the shore to the sound of cheers from over a dozen spectators, and she savored the sight of every male surfer on the beach looking down at their feet in shame.

_Eat it, boys!_ she thought smugly.

"You're crazy…" said one of the males finally, shaking his head. "You're lucky you weren't killed out there."

Bad choice of words.

"_Luck_?" she snarled, "That wasn't luck; that was _skill_! Just admit it!"

"Alright, alright, you're skilled, but you also got lucky; in another second, that wave would have came down and crushed you. Let's just call it and day and-"

"No!" she declared boldly, "I will _not_ call it a day, not yet! One more time, and I'll _prove_ that it's all skill!"

The others began to plead with her, trying to make her see reason, her competition and friends alike, but she refused to hear them out. She would not, _could not_, rest until they acknowledged that she was just that damn good.

Her earlier promise to any and all gods that might exist forgotten, she took her board and headed out into the pounding surf once more.

_If I did it once, I can do it again!_

She didn't need luck; only _amateurs_ needed luck, and she'd make them all see that greatness like hers needed nothing!

Just one more good wave… What harm could there be?

She could _feel_ it coming before she saw it and she felt something else mixed in with her usual anticipation; fear.

As the wave grew and she climbed up on her board, she tried to force the fear deep down and out of the way before it could distract her. After all, there was nothing to be afraid of, especially since she'd already conquered the mother of all waves. She'd been in the ocean since the was a small child and there was absolutely _nothing_ to be afraid of.

And yet, the fear refused to subside.

The wave kept growing higher and higher, dwarfing even the monster she'd rode earlier and giving her second thoughts for a brief moment.

Only for a moment, though; the foaming white water began to crest and roll, forming a near-perfect tube that _beckoned_ to her, seemed to call her name…

The terror in her gut screamed at her not to do it, not to go in, to simply break away and coast back to the shore, but she refused to yield to mindless fear and instead steered her board into the tube.

Nothing to fear, no cause for concern; it was a near-perfect tube, a professional's dream. She allowed herself a tight grin as she began to working her way through the length of the tuber of water, pressing her luck banking up along the walls slightly.

Halibel had everything perfectly under control; this wave was _hers_ now, and it only reaffirmed that she was the undisputed queen of surfing.

And then the tube began to destabilize abruptly; the wave had grown too large, too massive to maintain the tube and it began to break and collapse inward, and no gaps were forming in the walls of water to allow for escape.

The water beneath the board became more chaotic and her control began to falter.

_Gotta keep steady…just a little further and I'll find an exit…I can do this!_

The board back under her control after a brief moment of resistance, she continued down the length of the ever-narrowing tube, looking for a gap as the walls behind her began to collapse violently.

_Just a little further! I can make it, I know I can-_

The massive wall of water came down on top of her with amazing force, knocking Tia from her feet and into the water and she managed to get one last gulp of air before the strength of the wave and the ocean current forced her beneath the violently churning waters.

She found herself caught up in the riptide as it began to flow back out into the sea, and she struggled against it with all her might, swimming towards the surface and the shore, but the deadly current was quickly wearing her out. Her muscles began to ache from the buildup of lactic acid and her body screamed for a fresh supply of oxygen, but she was still several feet below the surface and the distance was only growing larger as the current continued to pull at her.

No one seemed willing to answer her prayers this time as she slipped further and further down, feeling the pressure of the ocean squeezing her torso tightly, and she struggled to hold in her breath, stale as it was.

The pressure combined with her own fatigue was too much to take and finally she exhaled the last bit of her air supply, releasing the precious oxygen and watching it bubble to the surface without her. Instinctually, she tried to inhale for more air, but being more than twelve feet under the surface made that an impossibility as seawater flooded into her lungs, choking her.

_Someone help me! Anyone!_

The current finally released her, but it was too late; her lungs were filled with water and her body was far too exhausted and oxygen-deprived to make the journey to the surface, which was now a good twenty or more feet up. She could see large, dark shapes swimming overheard and she knew the ocean's top predators could smell her despair and fear as she continued to sink into the abyss.

Tia opened her mouth to try and scream for help as the world around her went black…

* * *

Halibel's eyes snapped open with a sudden surge of renewed energy, and she found herself free of the ocean's grasp, summoning the strength to swim towards the shimmering light that was the surface. She burst above the waves, coughing up seawater and gasping for air.

Never before had the salty air felt so good, smelled so sweet…

_Someone up there must like me…_, she thought to herself, feeling extremely thankful and religious at that moment. This time when she swore that she'd never again be so reckless, she meant it; there was nothing like a brush with Death himself to force one's eyes open.

She was further out from the shore than she'd expected, but that didn't matter; the deadly current had lost much of it's power and she began to swim towards the beach as fast as possible. Tia couldn't argue this time if anyone called it luck; by all rights and means, she should be dead and she knew it.

As she neared the shore, she noticed the others were still calling out her name, looking right past her as if she didn't exist. A few were wading around in water knee-deep shouting for her, ignoring her as she lurched ashore and collapsed in the sand.

Halibel scowled as they continued to pretend she didn't exist; while this little joke was in bad taste, she supposed that on some level she _did_ deserve it for her earlier attitude.

"Alright, guys; that's enough screwing around…" she said, slowly pushing herself to her feet. "I'm here, I'm fine, and yes, I was _very_ lucky that time."

No response.

"Come on, this isn't funny!" she insisted, "Let's pack up and go! I've had enough of the beach today."

Still nothing.

Irritated, she reached out and swatted at the nearest person, her best friend and almost-sister, Kimmy.

Her hand passed right through Kimmy's shoulder, almost as if…

Tia paled as she looked down at her hand. No…no, it _couldn't_ be! She got free, she made it to the surface, she swam to shore…she was alive, damn it, she _had_ to be! She was unconscious on the beach, that's all it was; she had made it to shore and passed out from exhaustion and this was all nothing more than a nightmare!

A nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.

She looked down and noticed the broken chain hanging from her chest for the first time, leading up to her heart. She tugged on it fiercely but it stubbornly refused to budge from it's spot anchored to her heart.

"What the hell is this?" she murmured, confused. Yes, this _had_ to be a bad dream; there was no possible way any of this nonsense could be real.

She looked around here, calling for help from the others as she continued to pull on the chain…and still no one heard her. Instead, others began to comb the shoreline still looking for her as Kimmy collapsed into the sand crying and someone else took a jeep to go notify the police.

"This isn't happening!" Tia screamed in denial, "I'm _not_ dead! This isn't real!"

The only answer to her cries was an unearthly howl coming from further inland, a monstrous cry that made her tremble in fear. She'd never heard such a noise before in her entire life…and the others on the beach didn't seem to notice it at all.

_Maybe it can only be heard by people like me…by the dead,_ she wondered, and that brought on another concern; if such a beast could only be heard by the dead, maybe it could also _interact_ with them.

Halibel suddenly felt like prey, a mouse being stalked by a cat.

She turned and looked out at the ocean as the creature howled again, closer this time. She'd struggled so hard to make it to shore, did she really want to go out there again?

Then again, if she _was_ dead, it wasn't like she could drown and maybe that _thing_ couldn't swim. Maybe she could escape it and figure out what to do next; after all, surely all ghosts had _somewhere_ to go instead of roaming the earth aimlessly.

Another roar reverberated through the air, even closer this time, and Halibel made her choice, diving into the blue waters and swimming for the open ocean as hard as she could.

Tia swam well into the night before finally stopping, still managing to feel exhausted despite her…_condition_. The moonlight danced upon the open water, creating a haunting and lonely scene; she was many miles from land, so far out that she couldn't see the shoreline anymore and no longer knew which direction was which. Only a few fins slicing through the water indicated she had any company out here whatsoever.

She had nothing to fear from the sharks, not now; they could apparently sense her somehow, but they couldn't harm her. She reached out a hand to touch one as it swam by and again her hand passed right through it, just as it has through Kimmy's shoulder. A faint smiled graced her lips and Tia found herself feeling grateful for their presence, as if they were friendly dogs escorting a lost traveler.

And then, the _thing_ roared from somewhere behind her again.

It had followed her out to sea, had been following her all day. It was the sole reason she'd swam as far as she had, trying to escape it, but whatever the demon at her heels was, it was relentless in it's pursuit and she could no longer afford to idly float and rest.

She began to swim once more, struggling to remain calm despite the fear brewing in her belly; she had noticed that the chain attached to her chest was actually _eating_ itself, growing shorter and shorter as it encroached upon her heart, and the more she panicked, the more it ate. She didn't know what would happen when the chain devoured itself entirely, nor did she particularly want to; it couldn't be anything good, that was for sure.

But then again, she figured it was probably preferable to waiting around for that monster to catch her.

The fins in the water continued to follow her as she swam, staying by her side and keeping her company throughout the long night and well into the following day. Occassionally one would break off and disappear, but a new one always took it's place and she was never alone.

Behind her, another roar signaled that the beast was growing ever closer.

No matter how far or how fast she swam, it wasn't enough; it just kept coming and coming, it's dark cry promising a final, _true_ death, and Tia's fear grew exponentially.

And with it, the chain began to devour itself greedily, encroaching upon her heart with ravenous speed.

Halibel screamed and clutched at her chest as the pain became overwhelming, and it literally felt like something was _eating_ her heart bite by bite. She thrashed about wildly in the water as her ghostly heart was destroyed, and as if the pain wasn't bad enough, she suddenly felt as if she were choking. She vomited and saw some sort of thick, white goop like heavy industrial paint came out…and then it engulfed her head, encasing it entirely.

Once again she fell beneath the waves, struggling to pull off the rapidly-hardening material, but it was of no use.

When she finally broke the surface of the water again, she felt…different. She looked down at her hands, hands that were now clawed, and realized that she felt different because she _was_ different.

The monster roared again, and she knew it to be very, very close.

But the fear she'd had of it was gone, replaced instead with a maddening hunger unlike anything she'd ever known before. A desire to eat that overwhelmed all of her other senses and instincts filled her very being, and as the beast roared again, a terrible, toothy grin spread across Tia's now-bonelike face.

It was time for the hunter to become the hunted.

* * *

Halibel awoke with a start, sitting up in her large bed and wiping the cold sweat from her flushed face. That damned nightmare again… She'd had it many times before, though not since she'd left Hueco Mundo, and she scowled as she thought about it.

Remnants of a past life that no longer held any significance, nothing more.

It was hot and stuffy and she got up from her bed and lifted her bedroom window open, welcoming the cooler night air as it flooded into the room.

Her stomach growled loudly and Halibel cursed as she put a hand over it; she always woke from that stupid nightmare feeling hungry and it never failed to irritate her.

Deciding to give in to the hunger and go to the kitchen and fix a quick bite to eat, she opened her bedroom door and stepped into the living room, only to find that her idiot roommate was already in the kitchen, sitting at the small built-in bar and eating an overstuffed sandwich. The moonlight filtering in through the large sliding glass doors that led out to the balcony illuminated the living room and part of the kitchen in a soft, white glow, and the light reflecting off Tyn's green eyes gave them a very predatory gleam.

Tyn didn't say anything to her and she didn't acknowledge him as she made her way to the kitchen and began to peruse the contents of the refrigerator. She could feel his eyes on her back and for a moment she remembered the dream and the feeling of being hunted…

He wasn't hunting her, she knew that as she pulled out her chosen food items and sat them on the bar and began to build herself a sandwich; Tyn was probably still upset over the argument they'd had earlier in the day about the shopping, laundry, and who had more rights to the television. She glared at him hatefully for good measure as she put the lunch meat back in the fridge before sitting down across from him to eat, ignoring the warning growl rumbling deep in the back of his throat.

The other arrancar continued to watch her with an ominous look as he slowly ate his sandwich and Tia finally recognized that the naked hostility in his eyes was from something other than their earlier fight, something that was intensely personal. She briefly wondered if perhaps Tyn had also suffered a nightmare, similar to her own…

She discarded the idea almost immediately; what nightmares could _he_ possibly have that would even begin to compare to hers?


	10. Life is a Beach

**Life is a Beach**

Misery, thy name was the beach.

Ulquiorra fought to maintain his mask of stoicism as he peered out at a Hell he'd never imagined, wondering what he'd done to deserve this punishment as he watched hundreds of humans wandering about, with children running wild and screaming at the top of their lungs. The August sun was scorching, making the bright sands uncomfortably hot, and Ulquiorra could already feel his gigai's pale skin beginning to burn.

Summer was almost over and he'd let Orihime talk him into a day at the beach, and then she'd talked the others into it.

It was another _normal_ human activity, she'd told them all; people loved the sand, surf, sun, and fun. Even the shinigami enjoyed it on occasion, and she had relayed to the group the story of her day at the beach earlier in the year with her Soul Reaper friends.

Orihime's story had made it sound acceptable at first, that they'd had the beach all to themselves that day…but she had neglected to say that was because Yoruichi had somehow obtained a city permit granting them exclusive rights to the beach and barring others from entry.

For the arrancars, there was no such luck.

Starrk had procured a massive beach umbrella from a vendor they'd passed upon entering and was busy setting it up near an area that was already pretty shaded, and Ulquiorra knew the _primera_ meant to spend the day underneath it, napping away.

The others were laying out their beach towels on the sand, except for Orihime who was applying sunblock to Lilynette's back and telling her about building castles out of sand.

How absurdly impractical; a castle of sand would _never_ withstand an enemy incursion.

Grimmjow was already heading off down the beach, refusing any "sissy" sunblock and saying that he was going to find something fun to do even if it killed him…

Ulquiorra only hoped his definition of fun didn't include mass murder.

Halibel had been watching the waves with interest since they'd arrived, her gaze fixated upon people riding strange boards out on the water, and the _cuarto_ thought he saw a sense of longing reflecting in her green eyes, as if she wished to join the humans.

That was equally as absurd as the idea of a "sand castle," though.

Tyn was busy smothering himself with sunblock, wearing dark sunglasses to shade his eyes from the excessive brightness of the day and still complaining about the necessity of this little trip.

Suppressing a sigh, Ulquiorra produced his own pair of sunglasses from the waistband of his knee-length green swim trunks and slipped them on, feeling ridiculous for doing so; the black objects looked foolish beyond words, but he could no longer tolerate the glare of the sun.

As children continued to run up and down the length of the beach and splash about in the water, yelling and screaming the entire time, he began to wish that he'd brought some earplugs as well.

Starrk had, of course, and the _primera_ was now laying on his beach towel beneath the umbrella's shade with sunglasses on and earplugs in. Judging by the steady rise and fall of his chest, he was either already sound asleep, or would be in another minute or two.

Ulquiorra laid out his towel near Starrk underneath the shade of the umbrella and sat down, thankful to be out of the sun's reach.

"You should really use some sunblock, Ulquiorra…" said Orihime, offering him the bottle with a smile, "You'll burn easy with as pale as you are."

"Thank you…" he mumbled, accepting the bottle and beginning to cover his the exposed portion of his skin with the lotion.

"Your back, too, silly!" Orihime chided him when he thought he was finished, and he frowned at her.

"I cannot reach it without breaking my arms, woman."

"Just turn around, then." Orihime instructed, giggling as if he'd been joking as she plucked the bottle from his hands.

He wanted to ask why she found the notion of his arms being broken humorous, but he found himself speechless as he felt her delicate hands on his back suddenly, smearing the cold lotion across his back and shoulders.

"I…I do not think this is appropriate." he said, trying to pull away from her touch, but Orihime placed a hand on his shoulder and restrained him gently.

"It's _fine_, Ulquiorra!" she laughed at him, dismissing his concerns. "I don't want you to get a sunburn, and you can do my back when I'm finished so we'll be even!"

He was keenly aware of Lilynette laughing at his discomfort off to the side, and he tried to tune her out.

Orihime finished her task and handed the bottle back to him, turning around and pulling her hair over her shoulders to drape over her chest as she waited for Ulquiorra to lotion her back. He poured a generous helping of the lotion into his hand and stared at her back for a long minute, still debating on if this was appropriate contact or not. He still wasn't convinced it was acceptable as he finally began to cautiously rub the lotion into her skin, relenting only out of a sense of debt to her.

"See? It's not so bad, is it?" she asked him cheerfully over her shoulder.

"No, I suppose not…" he admitted emotionlessly as he finished, and she giggled at him.

"You're so uptight about everything… Sooner or later, you'll learn to loosen up and be more human." she told him with a smile before turning to Lilynette, "Come on, let's go build that sand castle!"

Ulquiorra watched her go, contemplating her words and the events that had just transpired; the idea of becoming more human was not a pleasant one, and he still wasn't comfortable with that kind of physical contact, even if her touch had felt nice…

"You're blushing…" said Starrk accusingly, and Ulquiorra looked over to see a very-awake Starrk grinning at him teasingly.

"You are mistaken." said Ulquiorra stiffly, "I simply went too long before applying sunblock, nothing more."

Starrk's good-natured laughing told him that the _primera_ didn't believe him in the slightest.

But then again, Ulquiorra wasn't entirely sure he believed himself, either.

* * *

Halibel hadn't been to the beach since the day she'd died decades ago, but despite the ending of a life and the passage of time, it still felt like coming home.

The waves weren't as big as what she had been used to once upon a time, but without a board it hardly mattered, anyway. It wasn't quite as bright and hot outside as she remembered it, either, but then again this _was_ another country.

She'd already taken her leave of the others while Orihime had been trying to convince Ulquiorra of the necessity of sunblock, and it was nice to be away from their depressing attitudes and bitching; she was determined to have a good day today no matter what, and if one of them ruined it for her…

Tia tried not to imagine all the horrible ways Tyn or Grimmjow might screw this little trip up as she began to wade out into the cool water slowly, instead focusing on the feel of the sea as it caressed her skin. She smiled as she went deeper into the coastal waters, continuing out until the water was higher than her blue bikini and her feet no could no longer feel the sandy bottom before finally laying back and just allowing herself to float, staring up at the sky.

This was nice, so much so that it was almost heaven.

Almost.

The differences between this beach and her memories troubled her and she made a vow to one day go back to the warmer Californian waters, perhaps next year if she could afford it. If everything there was as she remembered it, minus the lethal waves, then _that_ would truly be heaven.

She scowled as she thought about her idiot roommate; she didn't want to bring him along on such a trip, but then again, she wasn't sure that he could be trusted to stay out of trouble for a week without her supervision. If she came home and found the apartment in shambles or on fire…

_No, don't think about that now…_, she told herself as she forced herself to relax. Such thoughts would only lead to anger, and that anger would likely lead to Tyn having his head buried in sand just as the tide was coming in.

Yes, it was better to focus on the positives: the gentle waves rolling in, the sun shining down warmly, and even the _sounds_ of the beach. Tia knew that the others weren't fond of all the humans and noise on the beach, but she couldn't imagine it any other way; it was, after all, one of the little things that made this feel so much like old times.

Of course, she could do without the frequent catcalls being directed her way by many of the men around her… Honestly, had these Neanderthals never seen a woman in a two-piece before?

Halibel smiled grimly at the thought of a shark shutting up one of the morons for her… They were around, she knew that; most people were painfully ignorant about just how close to shore sharks would come, but not her. Unfortunately, an attack would shut down the beach for the rest of the day, and that was unacceptable.

Best to ignore the males for now, at least until one of them got the courage to try and touch her, and then it would be absolute carnage.

She closed her eyes and let out a contended sigh as she continued to float, soaking up the sun's warmth.

_If only every day could be like this_…

* * *

A day off from his duties in Soul Society to spend time with his family felt like a hell of a good deal to Ichigo Kurosaki; the crowds on the beach annoyed him, but spending time with his father (even if the old man _was_ insane) and his baby sisters made it all worthwhile.

And even with his father present this time, this was still more peaceful than the trip to the beach he'd taken with his friends from both Karakura and Soul Society; he _still_ had nightmares about the stupid artificial hollows made out of watermelons that Squad 12 had released for "fun."

Karin and Yuzu had come in from swimming a few minutes earlier to find Ichigo in a headlock from their bizarre father, and they'd talked the elder Kurosaki into releasing him and going to fetch them all some ice cream. Ichigo rubbed the back of his still-stiff neck, thankful to have the nutjob out of his hair for a few minutes.

But then, much as it pained Ichigo to admit it, it wasn't a _true_ Kurosaki family outing until it degenerated into a brawl between father and son.

Fetching the ice cream would keep him busy for a little while, and then he'd (mostly) behave himself while the family enjoyed their little treat, but after that it would be time for Round 2.

_Lucky me_, thought Ichigo dryly, and he was answered by the mocking laughter of his inner hollow.

He scowled angrily, trying not to let it get to him; there was no way in hell he was going to let that _thing_ ruin this family outing.

_That's dad's job, not yours_, he reminded the creature before tuning it out.

Silence, and Ichigo allowed himself to relax a little bit and smile.

It was as perfect a day as possible for him; quality time with his family, and not a hollow in sight…

"Ichigo!" bellowed a voice from behind and the teen paled as he recognized the voice.

"No, not you, not here-" he began as he turned around slowly, only to catch a thunderous fist to his jaw that forced him to stagger backwards into the sand as his inner hollow began positively rolling inside his head, laughing at it all.

"Been a long time, Ichigo…" said Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, grinning with sadistic glee as he cracked his knuckles. "_Too_ long, if you ask me. You ready to get your sorry ass kicked again?"

"I _didn't_ ask you and as I remember it, I kicked _your_ ass!" Ichigo retorted, balling up his fists.

He'd known that this day would come sooner or later, ever since he'd found out about the surviving Espada living in Karakura, but he never expected it to be in the middle of a family trip. Ichigo didn't want to fight the _sexta_, not here, not like this, not in front of his sisters, but at least it would be human versus gigai, and not shinigami versus arrancar in a brawl that would likely destroy about half the town.

"It'll be a different story _this_ time, Kurosaki!" roared Grimmjow, slugging him across the jaw again, but Ichigo was more prepared this time, and managed to hold his ground without stumbling under the blow. He countered with a fist of his own into Grimmjow's ribs, hard, but not hard enough to break them, unfortunately. It did stun the Espada momentarily, though, allowing for an uppercut to connect to his jaw.

"Not looking any different from this angle, Grimmjow!" taunted Ichigo, grinning.

"How _dare_ you start a fight without your old man!" called another voice and Ichigo sweat-dropped. No, no, no, no, _please_ no!

He turned around, knowing it was dangerous to take his eyes off Grimmjow, but also fearing what was coming.

"Dad, just stay out of-"

"FLYING FATHER KICK!" declared Isshin to the entire beach as he drove his foot into Ichigo's face with a flying sidekick, the ice cream forgotten as he dropped it mid-flight. Ichigo went down hard, tumbling backwards in the sand as Grimmjow blinked, confused at the interference for a moment before recovering his wits.

"You stay outta this, old man!" he demanded shaking his fist threateningly, but Isshin paid him no mind and grabbed the arrancar in a headlock, forcing him to the ground.

"Haha, you let your guard down, boy!" he announced with a grin that may have been more psychotic than Grimmjow's own earlier expression.

"Get off of him!" snapped a recovered Ichigo as he kicked his father off of Grimmjow. "I can handle this myself, and-"

Grimmjow came up from the ground with a savage punch, silencing him.

"Fuck you, Kurosaki; I can take that crazy old man _without_ you!"

"The hell? Grimmjow, this is between me and you, _not_ you and my insane father!"

"Then I'll just take you _both_ on!"

"That's the spirit!" cried Isshin, tackling both men. "It's a father-son free-for-all brawl!"

"I am _not_ your son!" bellowed Grimmjow as the trio went rolling across the sand in a furious exchange of punches, kicks, and biting.

"Are you sure?" asked Isshin, not sounding terribly convinced.

Yuzu and Karin stood with the forgotten ice cream laying at their feet and melting into the hot sand as they watched the three men go rolling down the beach like a group of lunatics.

"Oh, Karin! What should we do?" asked Yuzu, biting her lip in concern as she watched her big brother and father fight with some blue-haired wacko.

Karin just sighed and shook her head.

"Let's just pretend that we don't know _any_ of them."

* * *

It wasn't the prettiest of sand castles, but it was pretty good for two beginners and it was certainly unique.

Orihime smiled and wiped some sweat from her brow as she examined the sculpture, trying to decide what to trim next while Lilynette was busily adding to it.

"We _have_ to show Starrk!" beamed the young arrancar, clearly pleased with the work they'd accomplished so far.

"Yep!" chirped Orihime, "He'll love it!"

The only real problem with their castle was that the two sculptors had not discussed their ideas beforehand and reached a consensus, and so one half of the castle was based on the majestic European castles that so often housed princesses and brave knights while the other has was essentially Los Noches without the great dome.

Definitely unique among all the other sand-sculptures that lined the beach.

"I think my side is just…about…_finished_!" declared Orihime proudly as she carved out the last details of a windowsill on of the large towers. Lilynette sat back and scratched her head as she looked at her own half.

"I think all I have left to do is the dome…but I don't know if we should try."

"No, I don't think so…" said Orihime, "If you try and build the dome, you'll just be hiding all the other little buildings you made."

"Yeah, you're righ-" began Lilynette, but she was cut off as a rolling mass of bodies came through and demolished the sand castle before continuing down the beach, and all either of them could make out of the fighters were black hair, orange hair, and blue hair.

"Ichigo!" cried a concerned Orihime as she watched him go tumbling away.

"Sorry, Orihime!" Ichigo called back as he kneed the dark-haired man in the face.

"Grimmjow, you _asshole_!" screamed Lilynette in rage, "I'm going to have Starrk rip your lungs out!"

"Bite me!" was the blue-haired Espada's reply before a random fist punched him in the mouth, and Orihime had to grab hold of Lilynette to keep her from running and jumping into the fray.

"I _hate_ you, Grimmjow!" she bellowed, on the verge of tears.

"Yeah… We're sorry about our brother and our dad, and that other guy, too, I guess…" apologized Karin from behind, and Lilynette whirled around as Orihime released her.

"Your brother? Karin, Ichigo is your _brother_?" asked Lilynette, taking a step backwards.

"Yeah…you know him or something?" asked the other girl, raising an eyebrow.

"Ehehe, I told her all about him." said Orihime, giggling nervously and hoping Lilynette didn't react too badly to finding out her friend was the sister of a shinigami.

"Oh…" said Karin, not sounding completely convinced, but not willing to pursue the matter any further, either.

"We can help you rebuild your sand castle!" offered Yuzu with a smile. "We'll make a bigger one!"

Lilynette's expression of mixed anger at Grimmjow and sudden distrust of Karin evaporated instantly, replaced by a wide smile.

"Yeah!" she said excitedly, "And if Grimmjow ruins this one, we'll have Ichigo and Starrk _both_ kick his ass!"

* * *

Of all the possible choices to spend his day, the beach was certainly one of the lowest items on Tyn's list.

The heat didn't bother him; he'd dealt with worse. The sand didn't faze him; it was actually pleasantly warm compared to Hueco Mundo. The ocean wasn't an issue; he didn't bother it, and it didn't bother him.

The problem was the sea of people littering the beach.

For a social animal, he could be remarkably anti-social on certain issues, and dealing with humans was at the top of _that_ particular list.

It would have been nice to be able kick back and sleep the day away like Starrk, but he hadn't thought to bring earplugs and unfortunately, he was a _very_ light sleeper. He was also a tad paranoid while sleeping, too, but living on the run for months in Hueco Mundo would do that to anyone; if something got too close to him while sleeping, he would instinctively wake up and kill it. It was one reason that he and Halibel slept in separate rooms.

_The other reason being that she _hates_ me_…

He'd opted for a long, slow walk along the shoreline, choosing the direction which looked to have the smallest concentration of humans, and he'd continued on for nearly a kilometer and a half before turning to look back the way he'd came.

There were far, far fewer people out here, and he wondered why in the hell they hadn't just set up on this end of the beach rather than the other.

Oh, right; interacting with crowds was what _normal_ humans did.

Tyn had barely begun his long walk back to the others when he stepped on something sharp, pointy, and decidedly unpleasant.

"Ow! The hell?" he growled, lifting his foot to see what he'd stepped on, but whatever it was remained partially buried in the sand, with only a sharp, white tip protruding.

He carefully knelt down beside the object and began to dig the sand away rather than grab the object itself, falling back into habits left over from a lifetime ago. With care, he dug out the sand surrounding the object and began to gently brush it's surface with his fingers as the feeling of _déjà vu_ finally released it's hold on him.

Free from his brief tryst with his past, Tyn abruptly yanked the white, triangular object and lifted it up to his eye-level, examining it critically.

"A tooth…" he murmured.

Clearly a shark's tooth, but identifying what species was beyond his limited field of knowledge.

An angry scowl crossed his face as he looked at the tooth; even way out here, alone, the Shark Queen was attacking him… He stood and cocked his arm back, preparing to fling the offending object far out into the sea where it would never be seen by human eyes again.

Tyn stopped himself mid-throw as he calmed down and thought rationally; there was no way Tia could have planted this out here for him to step on, no reason to blame her.

Besides, the tooth could make for a good peace offering the next time she really got pissed at him, assuming she didn't _stab_ him with it.

He shoved the object into the pocket of his red trunks and began to trek back up the beach to rejoin the others. A day at the beach, and all he'd accomplished was finding a stupid shark's tooth that he had no real use for and that Tia probably wouldn't ever want or appreciate…

_What a waste of time_, he thought bitterly, wondering what was on TV right about now.

Walking slowly, it was an hour before he made it back to the others, and Tyn promptly went over and plopped himself down on his beach towel, laying back and gazing skyward through the black lenses of his sunglasses.

Grimmjow was still missing, as was Orihime and Lilynette and Halibel, and Starrk was still asleep. Ulquiorra had his nose buried in a book, trying to ignore everything and everyone around him.

Tyn had only been laying there for a few minutes before a shadow passed by him and sat down beside him, and he suppressed a groan, knowing that Tia had finally returned.

"Say, cutie, would you rub some lotion on my back?"

Okay, definitely _not_ Tia.

He lifted his sunglasses and propped himself up on his elbows, looking at the dark-haired beauty in her rather skimpy pink two-piece beside him. Human, obviously, and barely out of her teens by the looks of it, and while she was actually quite attractive…

"Not interested." he said flatly, replacing his sunglasses and laying back down.

"Please?" she purred. "I'd really appreciat-_ahhh_!"

Tyn sat up again and lifted his sunglasses once more just in time to see Tia hauling the girl to her feet by the hair before flinging her into the sand a few feet away. The girl recovered quickly enough and the look of anger on her face for being assaulted suggested a fight was coming, but the menacing glare coming from the Shark Queen convinced the girl to cut her losses and retreat while she was still in one piece.

Calmly, Halibel straightened out her beach towel and sat down as Tyn cocked his head to the side, looking at her curiously as he waited for an explanation.

"She was in my spot, that's all." growled Tia.

"I didn't say a word." replied Tyn defensively as Halibel began to re-apply sunblock to her already-tanned body.

"Want me to-" he tried to offer, but she cut him short.

"Touch me and I'll break your arm."

"Okay…" said Tyn, and they both scooted a few inches further away from each other, with Tia turning away from him as she continued to lotion herself.

Tyn shrugged and laid back down, but it was only a few seconds before another, larger shadow passed by in front of him.

"Hey, baby, want me to do your back for you?"

Tyn didn't bother to sit up this time as he lifted his sunglasses and turned his head towards Tia to watch the ensuring carnage, grinning in anticipation; if Halibel had threatened to break his arm for offering that, then there was no telling _what_ she'd do to a stupid human meathead.

For her part, Tia looked up and the large muscle-bound lug for a minute, clearly considering bashing his skull in for calling her "baby," but ultimately she turned and tossed the bottle to Tyn, giving the other man one of her fake apologetic smiles that she'd perfected working at the bar.

"He offered first…" she told the human, "Might get jealous if I let you do it instead."

_Oh, sure; turn it all on me_…

Not that Tyn minded as he gave the larger male a cold, evil grin, daring him to do something as he poured some lotion in his hand and began to rub it into Tia's exposed flesh firmly. After a moment's hesitation the human finally went away, muttering curses with every step.

Still, Tyn continued to lotion Halibel's back and she didn't pull away.

"So…you're going to skip the whole 'breaking my arm' thing, right?" he asked her.

"Still thinking about it…don't forget my shoulders."

"Yes, ma'am." Tyn growled sarcastically, but he began to work on her shoulders anyway, kneading the flesh gently.

Finished, he pulled his hands away and as Tia looked over her shoulder at him, he could almost swear her cheeks had a red tint to them.

"I'll let you keep your arm, _this_ time."

"Thanks…" he said dryly, just as Grimmjow finally limped back to their little site, looking beaten and battered, but smiling broadly despite a black eye and a busted nose.

"What the hell happened to you?" asked Halibel, and even Ulquiorra looked up from his book, arching a questioning eyebrow at the _sexta's_ bruised and bloodied condition.

"I just kicked _two_ generations of Kurosaki ass, that's what!" he declared triumphantly, raising an arm in victory. "I am the _greatest_!"

"I changed my mind; I don't _want _to know." said Halibel, laying on her stomach to let the sun bake her back.

"If the cops come by, we don't know you." added Tyn, laying back down on his towel again.

Starrk just snored and rolled over on his side.

Ulquiorra gave a long-suffering sigh and went back to reading his book, saying only one thing…

"I hate the beach."


	11. Sick Day

**Sick Day**

The buzzing of an alarm clock filled the room, and a pair of green eyes snapped open to stare at the offending gadget hatefully; it never failed to wake her during a _good_ dream, but never when she was having a nightmare…

A slender arm snaked it's way out from under the covers and reached over to grasp the white plastic clock, squeezing it as she toyed with the idea of hurling it across the room and shattering it against the wall. The plastic creaked and groaned as her grip tightened, but with an annoyed sigh, Halibel released her victim and turned off the alarm as she sat up.

Wednesday, the so-called "hump day" of the week. Tia rubbed her eyes as she worked one last yawn out of her body before standing up and going to the closet to pull out her clothes for the day, listening for the sound of the moron in the kitchen making breakfast.

Tyn always got up before her in the mornings, without fail, and would cook a decent breakfast for them both; it was, in her opinion, the one and only benefit of having him for a roommate.

She heard nothing from the living room or kitchen as she dressed, though, and when she finally opened her bedroom door, she could see that Tyn's own door across the living room was still shut.

Halibel scowled angrily; she'd woke up in a foul mood, and now that jackass was going to aggravate her by choosing _today_ to finally sleep in instead of making breakfast? Her knuckles cracked loudly as she curled her hands into tight fists and ground her teeth together, swiftly covering the distance to his door. She began to pound on his door roughly, yelling at the fool to get up.

"Get up, moron! Stop being lazy!"

"Go 'way." came the muffled reply from the other side of the door, and Tia could feel her rage actually double at his defiant response.

"Goddammit, Tyn,-" she began as she opened the door and then cut herself off as she began to gag on the most foul odor she'd ever had the misfortune of smelling.

"What the hell is that putrid _smell_?" she asked, covering her mouth and nose with a hand as she made her way through the small jungle of artificial ferns to Tyn's sleeping pallet at the back of the room.

One of the ferns had been yanked from it's pot, and as Tia peered into the bucket-like pot, she began to understand the source of the stench; partially-digested red meat and the gigai's equivalent of bile, stewing in the heat and humidity Tyn kept his little corner of Hell set at.

She nudged her roommate with her foot, and Tyn rolled over onto his back and looked up at her with hazy eyes and a pasty complexion, his breath positively reeking as he spoke.

"I don't…I don't feel so…" was as far as he made it before he grabbed the pot and buried his face in it, vomiting. Tia winced as she heard the wet splatter of puke on puke and looked away.

Great, just great; Urahara had warned them that this could happen, had said that living in a gigai for an extended period could make them susceptible to human illness, and Tia had dismissed the notion as ridiculous.

The faux-bodies were a bridge between their spirit forms and the physical world around them, allowing them to be seen and heard by the common folk, to interact with humans while appearing to be human themselves. The ex-shinigami had tried to make it clear that the bridge worked both ways, and that it allowed the human world and everything in it to interact with them as well, but Halibel hadn't believed it, and she suspected none of the others had, either.

And now Tyn was lying in the floor looking like an absolute wreck as he continued to vomit up his dinner from last night.

"I take it you're not going to work today…" Tia asked dryly, already knowing he was in no condition to be working in a kitchen around food.

Tyn just groaned as he sat the bucket back down and rolled over to face away from her, pulling his blanket up around his shoulders.

"You can't stay in and sleep all day, you know; you're going to have to go see a human doctor while I'm at work." Halibel told him, watching as he only pulled the blanket around his body tighter and realizing that if left to his own devices, Tyn would stay there and sleep until she got home, doctor be damned.

That meant it was up to her to drag him to a physician.

Oh, this day just kept getting better…

Biting her tongue to keep from yelling at him and stalking out of the room to keep from kicking him, Halibel went to the phone in the living room and began making calls: first to Ulquiorra, to inform him that Burger World would be short it's cook today, followed by her own manager at The Oasis to explain the situation, and finally, Kisuke Urahara.

"Look, can't _you_ fix him?" she asked irritably, watching as Tyn came stumbling out of his room and headed towards the bathroom on unsteady legs.

"Well, I'm flattered you think I can do anything, but I'm just a simple shopkeeper-"

"Don't give me that crap." Halibel growled into the phone, "Ex-captain of Squad 12, former head of Research and Development…you _made_ these goddamned gigais, so surely you can fix them!"

The sound of a steady stream of water impacting the standing pool of water in the toilet bowl could be heard from the bathroom, and Tia curled her lips back in disgust as she realized the idiot hadn't even thought to close the damn door behind him when he went in.

"A disease isn't the same as the gigai being broken;…" Urahara said finally, "if anything, a disease is a sign that the gigai is functioning perfectly as a medium between the world of the living and your spirit forms."

Mercifully, the sound of Tyn pissing came to an end, but it was simply replaced by the sound of him retching, and then the sound of another wet splatter.

"Fine, the gigais are perfect; now make him un-sick before I murder him." Tia said into the phone, but the man on the other end of the line simply laughed.

"Un-sick?" he chuckled, "Sorry, but that's beyond my abilities. You're going to have to take him to a real doctor."

Halibel looked back up as she heard the sound of the toilet flushing, and Tyn came out slowly, wiping his face off with a wet washcloth as he headed back to his bedroom.

"Fantastic…" said Tia sarcastically. "Any recommendations?"

"One, actually… Let me give you the address to his clinic, and I'll even call and make the appointment for you."

She began scribbling down the adress as a loud "thud" came from Tyn's bedroom, and Halibel was quite sure he had just fell down onto his pallet.

"And for the record," Urahara told her, "he's probably _not_ being melodramatic with his symptoms; I've lived in a gigai for a long, long time now and I gotta tell you that the first few times you catch a human virus, it's hell. Over time, you'll adjust to it and handle it better, but for those first few illnesses, you'll probably think that you're dying all over again."

"Fine; I'll cut him a break _this_ time." she said, hanging up the phone angrily. How dare him try and make excuses for that moron!

Glancing down at the written adress again, she marched back into Tyn's bedroom and yanked his blanket away from him.

"Get up and get dressed!" she ordered, "I'm taking you to the doctor whether you like it or not."

"Not goin' nowhere." he mumbled, covering his head with his pillow. "Doctor can come here."

"Stop being a pathetic baby!" she yelled as she snatched the pillow away. "If humans can deal with this crap, then so can you!"

"It's all a lie…" he wheezed, coughing up a disgusting mess of green goop into the floor at Tia's feet. "Humans don't have it _this_ bad."

She rolled her eyes and reached down, seizing him by his left ankle and began dragging him out of the bedroom, ignoring his protests.

"You're going to a doctor, damn it," she stated with finality, "even if I have to _drag_ you down the hall and ten flights of stairs in your underwear before cramming you into the trunk of the car."

"You wouldn't." he said, coughing again.

"Try me." she dared him as she released his ankle and turned around to meet his gaze evenly. They stared at each other for a long moment, Tia still standing over the weakened _quinto_ threateningly.

"Fine…" he sighed, crawling his way back to his bedroom. "Gimme five minutes to get dressed."

"You've got three." countered Tia, placing her right foot square on his ass and using it to roughly shove him into his room.

She heard him retching into his vomit-filled flower pot again and scowled disdainfully.

"And if you puke in my new car, I _will_ kill you!"

* * *

_At least he had made it to the clinic before he started vomiting again_, thought Halibel as she watched Tyn lean against the building and puke into the grass off to the side of the porch. The entire ride over had been miserable, and every time he had made a sound or tried to speak, the car had been filled with the stench of his breath, and Tia hoped her new car wouldn't retain that smell; she'd spent months saving for it, and if Tyn had ruined it already…

He finally finished vomiting and went into dry heaves for a while before he was able to stop, and Tia led him into the clinic and made him sit down in a chair off in the corner while she went to register him with the nurse.

She was a little surprised to see that the nurse at the front desk was a child, probably no more than twelve, but shrugged it off; as long as the actual doctor wasn't a kid, it didn't matter. The young nurse handed Tia a clipboard and a registration sheet asking for patient information, and Halibel went to sit a couple of chairs away from Tyn as she filled it out for him.

Name? Easy enough. Address? Also easy. Birthday?

_Don't know, don't care,_ she thought, scribbling it down.

Age? Seriously? Asking his birthday and then his age, as if one wasn't good enough? Of all the stupid, annoying, repetitive crap questions to ask…

"How old are you, stupid?" she asked off to the side, and Tyn stared at her blankly.

"What?"

Halibel waved her hand in front of her face to dissipate the stench of his breath before asking again.

"Your age, moron; do you know how old you are, or were?"

"I remember…sometimes." he mumbled, scratching his head and looking lost in thought as he tried to think. "Twenty-something?"

"Oh, _that's_ helpful… I'll just guess, then." spat Tia, writing down the number twenty-three; she had been twenty-four when she died, and if looks were anything to go by, Tyn would be nearly the same.

"Twenty-three, I think." he said finally, and Halibel allowed herself a small smirk at having guessed correctly.

Sex?

_Not if he was the last _thing_ on Earth_, Tia thought angrily as she put a checkmark next to "male."

Allergies? None. Pre-existing medical conditions…

Tia skimmed through the list of pre-existing conditions, knowing there was nothing there that could apply to either of them until she got to the very end, the final choice…

Not Human.

It was a strange joke, it _had_ to be. No human doctor would put that on the registration form unless it was a joke…but then again, Kisuke had actually recommended this place, and that cast doubt on if it was meant as a joke or not.

She put a checkmark next to it, and if the doctor had meant it as a joke then she would treat it as such when asked about it. If it was meant as a legitimate question…well, she _hoped_ this wasn't a trap set up by the Soul Society.

Finished with the registration form, Tia went back to the front desk and handed it to the nurse before returning to her seat a couple of chairs away from the diseased Tyn.

"I think I'm finally finished puking…" he mumbled, more to himself than anything. "I'm pretty sure I'm empty now."

"I hope so…" hissed Tia, holding her nose. "Now stop talking."

They sat there for a few minutes before the nurse came around and called them into the back, ushering them into examination room two, politely informing them that the doctor would be in shortly before she closed the door, locking them in the small room together.

Tia opted to lean against the far wall as they waited for the doctor, while Tyn sat down on the examination table and looked at the various instruments and jars about the room and the illustrations of the human body and some of it's organs plastered on the walls.

"I remember Szayel's lab had some of the lesser _numeros_ flayed open and pinned to the wall instead of illustrations…" Tyn mumbled.

"He added a couple of humans preserved in formaldehyde after you left, one of which had been completely skinned to reveal the muscles…" said Tia, scowling at the memory. "Szayel was a twisted individual."

Looking back, Halibel supposed that she should have taken Aizen's tolerance for the _octava_ Espada's activities as a sign that the former shinigami couldn't be trusted, but at the time she'd thought nothing of it.

_I was blinded by Aizen's words…we all were, except for_…

She glared hatefully at the back of Tyn's greasy, unwashed head as he laid down on the table, yawning.

In truth, he hadn't been the _only_ one, though of the small handful that had been distrustful of Aizen, Tyn was one of the very few who had successfully managed to escape Los Noches and Aizen's extermination squads.

Halibel remembered being hot on his heels, chasing him from the palace when Aizen gave the order to kill the "traitors" who were sowing dissent among his army; she, Starrk, and Ulquiorra had went after Tyn, and despite the fact they were each far stronger than he was, none of them came close to his speed.

The door creaked open and a dark-haired man with a thin beard stepped inside, holding a file that no doubt contained the registration form. He looked up from the file and smiled warmly, trying to make his two guests feel comfortable.

"My name is Doctor Kurosaki, and-"

Tia didn't hear the rest of his introduction over her barely-suppressed groan; no wonder Kisuke had recommended this doctor to them. She knew of Isshin Kurosaki, knew that he was an ex-shinigami; Aizen had informed the Espada involved in the attack on the fake Karakura town of his existence, stating that he could be a wildcard in the battle.

"So, I'm gathering from the way you filled out the registration form that you don't know your own birthday…" said Kurosaki, addressing Tyn.

"Not really…" mumbled the redhead as he struggled to sit back up, "It's been forty or so years since I had to worry about it…'sides, _she_ filled it out."

"Forty or so years, eh? This says you're twenty-three."

"I'm bad with math." said Tyn, coughing.

"It also says you're not human under pre-existing conditions…" continued Kurosaki, grinning as he looked at the two of them. "I didn't expect either of you to be honest about it after speaking with Kisuke, but I'd have recognized you both anyway, even without talking to him; I saw you both when I was on my way to fight Aizen, while Captain-"

"We get the point." said Tyn hastily, glancing back at Halibel.

"She doesn't know, I take it?" asked the doctor as he began his examination, shining a small light in Tyn's eyes.

"Apparently, I don't…" growled Halibel. "I _hate_ secrets."

"I'll tell you lat-" began Tyn, but was cut off as Kurosaki inserted a tongue-depressor into his open mouth.

"Captain Unohana of Squad 4 fixed you up from whatever nearly killed you." said Isshin, ignoring Tyn's attempts to keep it secret. "I was going to interfere at first because I thought he had _kidnapped_ her to heal you and that other guy with the dark hair, but I watched from a distance and she didn't appear to be a hostage, so-"

"Why the hell didn't you tell me?" snapped Tia as Kurosaki began peering inside Tyn's ears.

"Because after everything that had happened, I thought that if you knew a shinigami had been the one to _save_ you, you'd have been pissed…"

"I _am_ pissed!" she roared. "I'd rather have _died_ than let a shinigami heal me after what they did to my fracción!"

"Kisuke's a Soul Reaper, you know…" said Kurosaki diplomatically. "And so am I."

"_Ex_-Soul Reapers." Halibel corrected him, as if the "ex" portion made all the difference in the world.

"She wasn't the one who killed them…" Tyn said slowly as the doctor began to check the gigai's blood pressure. "She showed up _after_ the fact. I tried to bandage you and Starrk, but you were both beyond my help… When I saw her arrive with the Kurosaki boy, I stalked her and waited for her to be alone after she began healing the fallen Soul Reapers. As soon as she was alone, I went to her and _begged_ her to help me."

"Doc Unohana is a good woman…" offered Isshin, "She'll help anyone who's injured, enemy or not."

"I asked her to keep you sedated for an extended period…" Tyn wheezed as he spat up some more green goop, "because if you'd woke up to find her over you, you'd have lashed out and tried to kill her."

"I had a _right_ to know…" hissed Halibel, and Tyn nodded in agreement.

"I was going to tell you when I thought you might be able to handle it calmly. It was the only way to save you and Starrk."

"He knows, then?"

"He came around briefly, but she sedated him again; I think he's still a little confused as to if it was real or if it was just a dream." answered Tyn, pausing a moment before adding "Not that Starrk would have went berserk like _you_, anyway."

"I feel so dirty now…" said Tia, looking down at herself in disgust. "Saved by a Soul Reaper…"

"I _had_ to do it…" said Tyn, coughing again. "I had to protect my pack. I begged and pleaded with her to keep it quiet from the other shinigami, and I was prepared to kill her to keep our existence a secret if I had to."

"More likely she'd have killed _you_…" said Isshin over his shoulder as he prepared something over on the counter. "Doc Unohana is a kind, peaceful woman, but she's also one of the strongest of the captains, and _very_ adept at swordplay; _I_ wouldn't want to piss her off."

The two arrancar went silent as they glared at each other, Tyn silently pleading for understanding while murder reflected in Tia's eyes.

"Okay, _this_ should help fix you up…" declared Kurosaki, breaking the silence as he turned around with a syringe. He pushed the plunger in slightly, sending a small spray from the end of the needle as he approached Tyn.

"Oh, _hell _no!" cried Tyn, suddenly becoming very energetic and scrambling off of the examination table, moving to keep it between him and the doctor.

"I don't believe it…" said Kurosaki, grinning. "The big, bad arrancar is terrified of needles."

"I fear _nothing_!" said Tyn defiantly, "I just don't like the idea of being stabbed."

"Look, you won't feel a thing, and after a couple of days you should be all better."

"Nope, not happening; I'm out of here!" said Tyn, making a break for the door only to have Halibel shoot a hand out and seize him by his hair and yank him backward roughly, slamming his back against the wall.

"Shut up before _I_ take the needle and do it myself." she warned him as he continued struggling.

No good.

Angered, she punched him across the jaw, hard, dropping him to the cold tile floor in a daze. Not giving him a chance to recover, she flipped him over onto his stomach and jumped on top of his body to hold him down, grabbing his left arm and holding it out for Kurosaki as she drove a knee into his spine. Tyn yelped in pain, but he didn't cease struggling, and despite being sick and weakened, he still had plenty of fight left in him.

In their spirit forms, his strength would be no match for hers at all, but trapped inside the oh-so-limiting form that was their gigais, their physical abilities were very comparable to one another, and Halibel wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to hold him down long enough for the shot.

The door opened, and she saw Tyn's head shoot up towards the sound of his freedom.

"Hey dad, I hate to interrupt, but have you-" began the orange-haired teenager standing in the door, but he stopped short when he saw two people wrestling in the floor.

"What the hell-" he began, and with a sudden burst of energy, Tyn managed to knock Halibel from his back and began scrambling madly for the open door on all fours.

"Get back here!" snarled Halibel, tackling him down again.

"Ichigo, don't just stand there!" barked the elder Kurosaki, "Help hold him down!"

Ichigo blinked for a moment, confused at what was going on, but he regained his sense quickly enough and pounced on the struggling redhead, grabbing his right arm and shoulder while Halibel took the left, pinning Tyn face-down on the ground.

And still, he kept thrashing about wildly and screaming.

"I'll be right back!" said Isshin, putting the syringe on the counter and ducking out of the room quickly.

"Let me go!" demanded Tyn, still squirming under Halibel and Ichigo's combined weight as he tried to inch his way to the door. "Goddammit, where the hell is Starrk and Ulquiorra when you actually _need_ them?"

"They wouldn't help you here." said Tia coolly. "They'd be helping us hold you down."

"I'm perfectly fine now! I don't _need_ a shot!" he shouted to the world, before going into a fit of heavy coughing that seemed to drain him of his energy for a few seconds.

Isshin came back into the room wheeling a large canister in behind him with a clear plastic hose and a small breath mask attached to it.

"Dad, what the hell are you doing with _that_?" asked Ichigo in disbelief, "You're not a licensed anesthesiologist!"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures, son!" declared the doctor, clamping the mask to Tyn's face and turning on the gas flow.

"The fuck are you doing to me?" came Tyn's muffled cry through the mask as he continued to struggle against Tia and Ichigo for a few seconds before finally going still. Isshin shut off the gas and slowly removed the mask from the now-unconscious arrancar before checking the gigai's pulse.

"He should be out for a good while now." said Isshin smugly, obviously satisfied with himself as he retrieved the syringe from the counter and inserted the needle into Tyn's bicep.

"Thank God that's over with…" sighed Halibel, removing herself from Tyn's back and standing up as Isshin finished injecting the medicine into the gigai's system.

"Yep, a couple of days of rest and a few antibiotics, and he'll be good as new!" nodded Doctor Kurosaki, disposing of the needle and writing down a prescription. "Human viruses hit shinigami hard, too, when they've been in a gigai for extended periods, but over time you'll adapt to them and rarely get sick; I think the last time I treated Kisuke for anything was about eleven years ago."

He tore off the small piece paper from his prescription pad and handed it to Tia before looking down at the unconscious arrancar in the floor and then up at Ichigo.

"Ichigo, be a good son and help him into Miss Halibel's car."

"What the hell? I'm not-" began Ichigo, but Isshin grabbed him in a rough headlock and began punching his disobedient son in the face.

"Don't talk back to your father, son! Now carry him outside like a good boy before I have to put you in the Daddy Drop-Toehold again!"

Ichigo managed to tear himself free of his father's grasp and slammed a knee into his gut, forcing Isshin to bend over as the teen grabbed him by the back of his white lab coat and hurled him over the examination table.

"Crazy old man…" growled Ichigo, but he stooped down and picked Tyn up over his shoulder anyway, allowing Halibel to lead him outside to the car.

Tia left the Kurosaki boy to try and buckle the unconscious Tyn into the passenger seat by himself as she went back inside to pay at the front desk, using money she'd taken from Tyn's wallet, of course; there was no way in hell _she _was going to pay for his treatment.

She made just two stops on the way back to the apartment; first to the drug store to pick up the moron's prescription and the second at the grocery store just down the street, as the little girl acting as a nurse had recommended chicken soup as a great way to help someone recover from illness. Over in the passenger's seat, Tyn was still sound asleep, his head pressed up against the window and his tongue hanging out as he drooled.

"Disgusting…" said Tia to herself as she removed one hand from the steering wheel and reached over to shut his jaw.

Parking on the street, Halibel was unable to find anyone willing to help her lug Tyn inside, and so she went upstairs first to leave the groceries and medicine in the apartment before coming back down to retrieve her roommate. She ignored the curious stares from people as she slung Tyn over her shoulder and slammed the car door shut, carrying him inside and to the elevator.

He began coughing in his sleep as the elevator began it's slow ascent to the tenth floor, and Tia hoped he wouldn't start throwing up again, not here, not on her.

Fortunately for her, he didn't and she managed to get him into the apartment and into his bedroom where she unceremoniously dumped his body onto his little sleeping mat on the floor roughly. After a moment's hesitation, she knelt down and placed the pillow under his head and pulled the blanket up over his body.

She almost felt a pang of pity for the fool as she looked at him, picking up the still-damp washcloth he'd used earlier from where he'd dropped it on the floor and wiping some of the sweat off his face.

Only almost, though; the stench of the puke-filled flower pot assaulted her senses and killed the brewing sympathy. Cursing the entire time, she picked up the offending object and took it to the bathroom to wash it out before returning it to Tyn's room, well within reach if he should wake up and need to vomit again.

Halibel left him sleeping in the floor and went back to the living room, plopping herself down on the couch and turning on the television. Maybe there was something worth watching on, something to improve her mood. She skipped through the channels for a couple of minutes before coming to a stop on the local news.

"And earlier today, a small kitchen fire at the local Burger World forced the building to be evacuated as the fire department was called in. The damage is described as minor, and the restaurant will re-open for business in two to three days…" announced the news reporter, showing footage from the scene with two big fire engines parked outside the restaurant. Just off-camera, another voice could be heard yelling…

"It's not _my_ fault! It's that bastard Tyn's! _He_ should have been here, and then I wouldn't have had to try and cook! I don't know how to work the stupid grill! It's Ulquiorra's fault, too; I should have been on the drive-through!"

"Except you don't know how to work _that_, either…" said another voice.

"*BLEEP!* you, Starrk!"

Tia sighed as she shut the television off and began to massage the sides of her head, wondering if she had any aspirin left.

"I'm surrounded by idiots."


	12. Breaking Point I

**Breaking Point - Part I**

Burger World, the kitchen in particular, had never looked so clean in the many long months the Espada had been working there; all the stainless-steel appliances shined like mirrors, as did the freezer door, all the grease splatters from the ceiling, walls, and floor were gone, and even the cash registers were shiny and new.

"Maybe you should set fire to the kitchen more often, Grimmjow…" mused Starrk, somewhat impressed by the cleanliness of the restaurant now.

"Maybe next time you should _die_ in the fire!" snapped the _sexta_.

"I think this is a _new_ grill…" said a mostly-recovered Tyn, examining his workstation carefully. "It's so shiny and pretty…"

He hacked up a greenish-looking wad of phlegm and spit it onto the gleaming non-stick surface, using the spatula to smear it about the entire grill before turning the device on and watching the goo bake.

"Gotta break it in." he said, grinning evilly. "Let's hope I'm contagious."

"If I catch whatever the fuck you have, I will murder you." growled Grimmjow, stepping away from the _quinto_.

"Give it a rest; we're all going to get sick sooner or later, so who cares if it happens to be sooner?" said Starrk.

"_I_ care!" snapped the blue-haired arrancar. "I don't want to be throwing up and spitting out green crap!"

"As opposed to the hairballs you spit up now?" asked Tyn, and the _sexta_ turned and tackled him to the ground angrily.

"God damn you and your freaking cat jokes! I'm going to-" he roared, drawing a fist back just as Tyn coughed up into his face. His rage forgotten, Grimmjow released his hold on his rival and scampered backwards, wiping his face frantically with his own shirt, trying to get the germs off.

"Behave." ordered Ulquiorra coolly, moving to stand between the two before Grimmjow decided to attack again. "This is our first day back at work; we should endeavor not to destroy the kitchen again."

"You guys would have an easier time with it, anyway; you don't have a sociopathic bitch for a roommate." grumbled Tyn, throwing a few sausage patties and a couple of chicken patties on the grill for the morning crowd that would be arriving soon.

"Halibel took you to the doctor and bought your medicine, did she not?" asked Ulquiorra, unlocking the front doors.

"She also yelled at me nonstop, hit me, cursed at me, threw a can of soup at my freakin' head, and then threatened to pour a bowl of scalding-hot soup down my throat." said the _quinto_, pressing the patties against the grill with his spatula and watching the grease bleed out.

"Knock the bitch out." suggested Grimmjow. "I wouldn't take that shit; I'd kick her ass and-"

"She's the _tercera_ for a reason, dumbass; she could stomp you and me both into the ground without much effort." Tyn reminded him.

"Move out…" suggested Starrk. "It's been eight months since we moved to Karakura, and you two still aren't getting along; you should just move out and get your own place."

"If I did that, she wouldn't be able to afford the rent on her apartment…"

"That's her problem, not yours." said Starrk, putting on his headset and waiting for his first customer of the day to pull up. "She's never treated the rest of us like she does you; she's got something against you specifically."

"But what?" asked an exasperated Tyn as he began to flip the patties. "Yeah, I've made a few mistakes, but I've _tried_ to be a good roommate… I've never done anything to her, really."

"Can't say why she hates you; all I can say is that it's time you _stop_ trying." shrugged the _primera_. "I know what it's like to want a 'pack' to belong to… It was that desire that led me to join Aizen and the Espada in the first place…but you have to realize that sometimes, some people just aren't worth it. I never considered Nnoitra as a member of my pack, or Szayel, and I _barely_ accept Grimmjow-"

"Hey, fuck you, Starrk!"

"-and if all the Espada had been like them, I would have left and gone back to being a drifter with no one but Lilynette by my side." he finished, ignoring Grimmjow's indignation as he turned his attention to the drive-through.

"Maybe you're right…" Tyn considered, placing one of the sausage patties on a biscuit and wrapping it up before tossing it across the kitchen to Starrk for the customer at the window.

"You can take her…" said Grimmjow, suddenly standing beside him. "She'll never know what hit her if you just-"

"Stop trying to get me killed." growled Tyn, shoving the _sexta_ away. "I'm not you; I know better than to attack her."

"Have you considered trying to hold a mature, thoughtful discussion with her about it?" suggested Ulquiorra from the register as he rang up his first customer of the day.

"Considering she generally tells me to shut the hell up anytime I open my mouth, no, no I haven't." said Tyn, glancing at the order screen before preparing the chicken biscuit for Ulquiorra's customer.

"Hey, less talking and more cooking back there; I want my food!" called the impatient human obnoxiously.

"Right away, _sir_." called Tyn sarcastically as he hacked up another wad of phlegm and smeared it into the mayonnaise on the biscuit before wrapping the tainted food up and handing it over to Ulquiorra.

"Enjoy your meal, sir." Ulquiorra told the man as he left, not bothering to chastise Tyn about spitting on the food or warning the customer about it.

"Perhaps you should try…" said the _cuarto_, walking back into the kitchen. "If necessary, I shall serve as a neutral third-party moderator. However much she may despise you, she is not a savage and will likely listen to reason if you present it as a calm, mature adult…Grimmjow, stop playing with the hash browns; you can work the front register if you're bored."

Ulquiorra gave control of the register to the other arrancar and stepped into the kitchen to continue his conversation with the cook as a new customer came up.

"I believe the root of the problem is not you, but her; she knows this, and simply refuses to face it."

"Okay…and what would that problem actually _be_, then?" asked Tyn, preparing another biscuit.

"That is for her to admit to you, not me; I will simply mediate the conversation for you both." replied the fourth, taking the biscuit and handing it off to Grimmjow to give the customer.

Tyn snorted, obviously annoyed by Ulquiorra's refusal to tell him what he thought the problem was as Grimmjow managed to ring up another customer in a surprisingly normal manner.

"That's two for two today, Grimmjow… I'm moderately impressed." Tyn admitted, tossing the _sexta_ a pair of wrapped biscuits for his customer. "This has to be a new record for you."

"It won't last." predicted Starrk from the window as he handed someone their change. "Five customers before he loses his temper, tops."

"Go to Hell!" snarled Grimmjow angrily before turning his attention to the customer walking in.

"Welcome to the World! What can I get for you this morning?" welcomed Grimmjow, straining to maintain his composure in the wake of Starrk's comment.

"Two chicken biscuits to go." said the customer curtly.

"Would you like some hash browns with that, sir?"

"Did I _ask_ for hash browns?" asked the customer irritably.

Bad idea.

Grimmjow lunged across the counter and seized the man by his shirt before roughly yanking him back over the counter. The Espada picked the human up from the floor and slammed him against the wall harshly, eyes smoldering with rage.

"Did I _ask_ for your smart mouth, asshole?" demanded Grimmjow. "It's a simple fucking question, yes or no! Now, do you want any goddamned hash browns, or am I going to have to shove your face into the deep fryer?"

"I _love_ hash browns!" croaked the man fearfully. "I'll take six orders to go!"

"Smart man." hissed Grimmjow, dropping him to the floor and going back to the register to ring it all up. The man slowly climbed to his feet and nervously walked around the counter back out into the dining room, and Grimmjow saw him sneak a look at the door.

"If you try and run off without paying, I'll put your fat ass on the fucking lunch menu." warned Grimmjow, and the human paled under the promise of death before dutifully trudging up to the register to pay.

"Told you…" said Starrk from the window as he bagged an order to go.

"Shut the fuck up, Starrk!"

* * *

After a long day at work, most people looked forward to a quiet, relaxing evening at home, more so if they were also just recovering from an illness. Should they have an attractive roommate of the opposite sex, they would also likely hope for some quality time together to bond and maybe become closer.

Then again, most people didn't have Tia Halibel for a roommate.

"You forgot to put the cap back on these pills before you left this morning!" was Tia's way of 'welcoming' him home, shaking the bottle in his face. "Do you have any idea how much this crap cost? _I_ paid for this since you were broke!"

"I'm sorry…" Tyn mumbled, brushing past her to collapse on the couch. "I'll be more careful next time, and I'll pay you back-"

"Goddamn right you will, you moron." she said, dropping the bottle in his lap. "And take one now; I don't need you to relapse and miss even _more_ work."

"Yes, Halibel…" Tyn sighed, popping the top off and swallowing one of the chalky white pills quickly.

He replaced the cap and set the bottle on the glass coffee table in front of him, listening to the sound of Tia moving about in the kitchen and replaying the words of the other Espada in his head from earlier in the day.

_Move. Kick her ass. Talk it out. Stop trying to be nice. Get someone to mediate things._

He rubbed his tired eyes, trying to shut out the voices as he stood up from the couch and headed to the kitchen to find dinner. Tyn opened the fridge and began rooting through the meats, only to have Halibel yank him away and slam the door shut, thrusting a can of chicken soup at him.

"No red meat until you're better." she told him. "Eat this."

"I've had nothing but chicken soup for three days now… I don't think it's going to _kill_ me to eat something else."

"_It_ might not kill you…" she agreed, giving him a threatening look, "But _I'm_ a different story."

"Oh, come on!" he cried in disbelief. "I've got a pound of hamburger meat in here that-"

"That I gave to Emi's mother before you got home. Now, eat the chicken soup before I pour it down your throat; it's good for sick people."

Tyn's eye twitched visibly as he bit his tongue to try and keep from losing his temper, and he knew she was aware of how pissed he was at the moment. Still, that didn't stop Halibel from returning to her seat at the bar and eating her meal of fish and rice as if nothing were wrong.

Growling the entire time, Tyn yanked the pull-tab on the can and tore it open, dumping the contents into a bowl and stirring it around with a spoon; stupid chicken soup didn't even have that much chicken in it!

There were some chicken tenders in the freezer that he could thaw out and add to it…but he knew full well that his bitchy roommate wouldn't allow it.

He dumped the empty can in the garbage and shoved the bowl into the microwave, setting it for ninety seconds before returning to the fridge for a drink to go with his meal.

"No beer and no soda…" Tia reminded him, taking a sip from her own diet drink just to further irritate him. "Sick people need water to stay hydrated."

Angrily, Tyn grabbed a bottle of water from the back of the refrigerator, squeezing it so hard the clear plastic bottle nearly burst apart.

Eight months of living in the human world with Halibel had taught him that she wasn't doing this out of any sense of concern for his well-being or a desire to take care of him; she did this purely to keep him healthy enough to work and make money, and she was taking a perverse pleasure in tormenting him.

_Move. Kick her ass. Talk it out. Stop trying to be nice. Get someone to mediate things._

Again he struggled to block out the voices from earlier; he didn't want to think about any of that now. Hell, he didn't want to think of _anything_ right now, other than eating his dinner and going to bed. Everything else could wait until morning.

Although, a part of him had to admit that moving was sounding better and better with each passing second.

The microwave dinged, and Tyn removed his hot bowl of soup, taking a seat at the other end of the bar, as far from Tia as possible given the small size of the Corian countertop.

They stared at each other hatefully as they ate their respective meals, Tyn swallowing the too-watery soup and washing it down with even more water as Tia slowly and deliberately ate her fish and rice.

_She's taunting me_…

He looked away before the desire to hurl himself across the bar and wrap his hands around her throat became too great to resist; he wasn't Grimmjow, he wasn't going to handle things like that. Best to ignore her for now, and tomorrow he'd pick up a newspaper and start browsing the apartment listings so he could get away from the Shark Queen.

"What the hell is with you today?" asked Halibel, going over and dropping her empty plate into the sink. "You've done nothing but scowl since you got home."

"Why bother asking?" he countered. "We both know you don't really give a damn."

"I just want to make sure you didn't get fired, nothing more."

"No, I didn't…" he said, eating another spoonful of the god-awful soup and then pausing a moment as he considered his next statement. "I am, however, thinking about moving out."

_That_ certainly got her attention.

"What? You _can't_ move out!" she bellowed, marching over to him and grabbing him by the front of his shirt angrily. "I can't afford this apartment without you!"

Starrk's earlier words came back to Tyn, and he took a certain pleasure in echoing them back to her, smiling grimly as he did so.

"That's _your_ problem, not mine."

"It's about to become your problem!" she snarled, yanking him off his stool to his feet violently, the action sending the soup bowl flying to the floor, it's contents splattering everywhere.

He saw her drawing a fist back, as he had seen her do many times in the past eight months, and now it was Grimmjow's voice that came back to him.

_Kick her ass. I wouldn't take that shit from her_…

Without thinking, he knocked her left hand free of it's death-grip on his shirt and deflected her right fist as it came in. With a sudden surge of aggression, he knocked her away, sending her stumbling back against the wall roughly.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded, "Do you want me to kill-_urk_!"

Tyn silenced her by shoving his right forearm against her throat, nearly cutting off her air as he seized her right wrist with his left hand, holding it tightly to prevent her from using it to strike back. He shifted his body sideways and stepped in close to try and keep her from bringing her legs up to kick him, and he put the tip of his nose to hers, growling menacingly.

"No more…" he said. "No more of this, no more of _you_. I'm tired of it, Tia: tired of playing nice, tired of your abuse, tired of this never-ending nightmare… I'm going to move out and get away from your bullshit, and there's _nothing_ you can do about it."

He knew she was mentally cursing the limitations their gigais imposed on them right about now; had they been in spirit form, there would be no way for him to overpower her like this, not even on her worst day and his best.

But here and now, he had the advantage; male gigais were heavier-built than females, with slightly more muscle, just like normal humans. He could feel her struggling against his grasp, and while it wasn't easy to hold her, she was unable to get loose.

"You _idiot_." she hissed as he eased up the pressure against her throat slightly. "You want to see me angry? When I get free-"

"Want to see you angry?" he asked, giving a humorless laugh. "You've never been anything _but_ angry and hateful to me!"

He pressed his forearm against her throat again to keep her silent as he continued.

"I've tried so hard to be the good guy here… I've bowed and scraped to your every demand and insult, I've smiled as you've screamed at me, and I've tolerated your physical abuse…and what the _fuck_ have I done to deserve _any_ of it?" he demanded.

"I _could_ have left you to die in Fake Karakura, and I'm starting to think that maybe I _should_ have; I've never done a goddamned thing to you, and you treat me like I'm lower than dirt!" Tyn continued, shaking with rage. "It wasn't this bad before I left the Espada… You and the others didn't like my distrust of Aizen or how I questioned his integrity, but you were never _this_ hostile to me back then!"

He took a deep breath, struggling to regain some composure.

"Is it because I left? Is that it? Are you pissed at me because I _abandoned_ the Espada? Because I'm a traitor?"

Tia's eyes narrowed and the look contained within told Tyn that he'd hit fairly close to home.

"If that's it, then _GET OVER __IT_!" he yelled into her face. "I was right, and you were wrong; Aizen was the true traitor, _not_ me! He used you all and discarded you like garbage; you were nothing more than disposable soldiers in his private war, _just like I predicted_!"

Venting like this…it felt so good, so very good. He'd waited a long time to say these things, to make her understand… Tyn wanted to savor the moment, but he wasn't finished just yet.

"Ulquiorra, Starrk, and even Grimmjow…we all have our differences, but they don't treat me like this. Grimmjow may not _like_ me, but at least he's started to accept me back as part of the group! But not you…_you_ still treat me like garbage." Tyn knew a bit of hurt had seeped into his voice with that last comment, but he couldn't force himself to care anymore.

"All I wanted was a pack to belong to…and I have it now. You're just not a part of it, not anymore. I'm going to move out, and we'll never have to deal with each other _ever_ again! Find a new roommate, find yourself a place you can afford…whatever; it's not my problem anymore."

Finished with his rant, Tyn released his grip on her wrist and slowly stepped back, cautiously watching for a counterattack that never came. Judging by the look on her face, Halibel was too stunned to even _consider_ attacking him at the moment.

But that could change at any moment, knowing the _tercera._

"One more thing…" Tyn added as he began to walk back to his room, pausing at the door just long enough to look back at the Shark Queen. "Next time you scream at me or come after me, someone is going to die. No more games, no more tolerance; either you kill me, or I'll kill you."

With that, he disappeared into his bedroom for the night, slamming the door behind him and leaving a stunned Halibel still standing in the kitchen.


	13. Breaking Point II

**Breaking Point II - Truth, Apologies, and Attempted Murder**

_What if he's right?_

Halibel growled in irritation at the voice in her head as she rolled over and glanced at the clock, seeing that it was only one in the morning. Sleep had yet to come to her since Tyn's little explosion earlier, and she'd spent almost two hours now tossing and turning in bed trying to get his words out of her head, trying to forget his accusations and threats.

She'd thought she had finally succeeded, and was just about asleep when another voice spoke from the recesses of her memory.

_What if he's right?_

Tia forced her eyes shut and begged for sleep to come, to put this day behind her and forget about everything, but sleep never came.

Instead, she found herself treated to memories she'd rather have forgotten.

She remembered the question now, and the first time she'd heard it; it was shortly before Tyn had departed the Espada…

* * *

Neliel had disappeared without a trace just a day earlier, and Halibel, still the _cuarta_ at the time, had yet to be promoted to fill the empty spot. Tyn had been questioning Lord Aizen and his motivations since his arrival in Hueco Mundo, ignoring the fact that the ex-shinigami had granted him far greater powers than he'd have ever known otherwise, that Aizen had graced him with a human form instead of his bestial Adjuchas body.

Tyn wasn't alone in his distrust; there were others among the _numeros_ who expressed similar feelings, and the rumor currently going around the palace was that the seventh Espada had executed earlier in the evening for being too vocal…

And then Tia had overheard her own fracción talking…

"What if he's right?" Mila Rose had asked the others, referring to the _sexta_.

"Don't say that." chided Halibel, stepping in. "He's _not_ right. None of those who question Lord Aizen are right; they are simply being paranoid because he's an ex-shinigami."

"But Tyn had a point earlier…" said Sung-Sun, the look on her face suggesting that she hated to contradict her superior. "If Aizen used and betrayed the Soul Society, how can we be sure he won't do the same to us?"

"Because I _trust_ him." said Tia, folding her arms over her chest. "Lord Aizen saw how corrupt the Soul Reapers are, how they persecute hollows without mercy…he said the system needs a change, and he's right. With these new forms, we will help him change the system by overthrowing the Gotei 13 and creating a new era."

"But-" started Apacci, but Halibel held up a hand to silence her.

"It's not open for debate; Tyn is _wrong_, end of story."

"Yes, Lady Halibel." replied the three women in unison, bowing their heads as Tia walked off the find the _sexta_ and have a talk with him about his dangerous ideals.

Tyn wasn't hard to find…he never was, unless he _wanted_ to be; the redhead was very swift and stealthy when he wanted to disappear and be alone. The Raptor Prince was in his quarters in the palace, didn't even keep his door locked, and Tia simply invited herself in as she had so many times before.

She found him perched on the balcony, crouched up on the railing and looking out at the artificial sky Aizen had recently painted onto the interior of the great dome, his forearms resting on his knees. She fixed her eyes on the black six tattooed on the back of his neck just below his crimson hair, a six that would soon become a five as her own four became a three. She stared at his back for a moment, pondering how best to approach the subject and appeal to his sense of reason.

By all appearances, he was completely oblivious to the fact there was anyone else nearby; he had not moved since she'd entered and his zanpaktou stayed at his hip, with it's red-feathered tassel dancing about gracefully on the light winds blowing in from the desert.

"Why does it seem like I'm only one bothered by Neliel's sudden disappearance?" he asked aloud, showing that he was indeed aware of her presence.

"Because you're paranoid and seeing conspiracies that don't exist…" said Tia, walking over to stand on the balcony with him. "You know she despises fighting…she probably just decided that she didn't want any part in the coming war and left to go live in peace somewhere."

"I doubt that." snorted Tyn as he hopped down from the railing and turned to face her. "She'd have told _us_ at least…"

"Why should she? She was the _Tres_ Espada; she didn't answer to you, _Sexta_."

"I mean us as in her friends…we're a pack, you know."

"Don't start that again." sighed Halibel as she leaned forward against the railing and looked out at the sprawling sand dunes, having already heard his spiel about the lot of them being some sort of unified pack too many times to count.

"Denying it doesn't make it any less true." Tyn said defiantly.

"We are _not_ a pack." Tia reiterated. "We are the elite of the elite. We are Lord Aizen's special forces."

"No, the Espada are Aizen's special forces; I'm talking about you and me, Starrk and Lilynette, Nel and maybe even Grimmjow since he seemed so interested in her…_we're_ a pack, Tia. We've all made a connection with each other and bonded. We watch out for each other."

"You're insane." said Halibel softly, though her voice hinted at a tiny smile behind her mask. "Just because we tolerate each other better than we tolerate the rest of the Espada doesn't make us a pack…and even if it did, I wouldn't trust Grimmjow to watch my back for anything."

"So he's a bad example." Tyn shrugged. "My point still stands."

"As does mine; you are insane." taunted the blond mischievously for a second before she sighed and took on a much more serious tone. "Look, Tyn, let me get to the real point of this visit; I came here to tell you to stop your anti-Aizen rhetoric before it's too late."

"What, did he send you to silence me?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as Tia shook her head.

"No… But your mistrust is wrong…wrong and dangerous; it could get you labeled as a traitor and executed."

"They'll have to catch me first." grinned the Raptor Prince.

"You have the speed, but Aizen has the power and the numbers." Tia warned him. "I know by now that you've heard the rumor about the number seven being executed…if you don't watch what you say, you might be next."

"Isn't that proof enough, then? If Aizen is the great savior you think he is, the mighty hero who will finally affect change for the hollows and establish a real balance, why would he feel the need to _execute_ dissenters?"

"Because your ideas could destroy the foundation of the Espada!" Tia exclaimed, not understanding how he couldn't see something so obvious. "If an army doesn't trust it's commander, how can they fight effectively?"

"And how is executing people supposed to earn the trust of others?" Tyn challenged. "Look, I understand where you're coming from; Aizen gave us all great power, freed us from the curse of unending hunger, and I _love_ this new form… He's a very charismatic individual and I_ want_ to trust him just because of that, but that's exactly what makes him so dangerous; he makes all these grand promises and all he asks for in exchange is complete trust…and you're all going along with it! Tia, anytime someone demands blind obedience, you'd be a fool not to open your eyes."

"The fool is the one who throws away his chance to help make a difference because of his own senseless paranoia!" countered Halibel coldly as she started for the door, angry at how stubborn he was being.

"Tia…" Tyn called after her, "Don't be so blind! If Aizen is really the man you all think he is, then he should be _encouraging_ us to question the status quo!"

She didn't answer as she headed out the door, simply shaking her head as she went. She was amazed that anyone, even Tyn, could be so foolish… Aizen was going to change things for the better, he'd see…if his questions didn't get him executed for treason and sedition first.

Couldn't the fool see that she was only trying to protect him from himself before it was too late?

* * *

Halibel awoke on her side, looking out at the alarm clock on her nightstand and the blue digits reading two A.M, and let out a long, tired sigh as she rolled over on her back to stare up at the white ceiling.

She couldn't be sure how long ago that day had been; one year? Two? Three? The eternal night in Hueco Mundo destroyed all sense of time and there was no real way for her to know how much time had truly passed, but it felt like a lifetime ago.

_What if he's right?_

Sung-Sun's voice this time… Mila Rose had been the first to pose the question, and Sung-Sun had been the last, on the day of Tyn's exile.

Barely two days had passed since their brief conversation on the balcony before Aizen had issued an order for his loyal followers to kill all the traitors to silence their poisonous words in the interest of peace and unity, and Tia had found herself side by side with Starrk and Ulquiorra as they chased Tyn out of the palace of Los Noches and out into the endless desert, far beyond the dome.

But the Raptor Prince was built for speed through and through, and despite their greater strength and power the other three Espada couldn't catch him.

And Halibel had returned to her quarters later that evening only to find herself ambushed by her fracción, asking that damned question again.

She had silenced their fears, had reassured them that Tyn was wrong and that Aizen would lead them all into a new era, and all three of the other women had believed her; they had blindly put their faith into her, and she had blindly put her own into Aizen and his promises…

And there at last, the answer to her hatred of Tyn was laid bare, stripped naked of all excuses.

He had been right all along.

"And I didn't listen…" said Tia to herself, sitting up in her bed and rubbing her face.

Her refusal to listen to his reason had cost her dearly; by blindly following Aizen, she had ensured the deaths of her three fracción, her best friends…and very nearly herself.

"I'm not mad at him…" she admitted slowly. "It's me…it's _always_ been me."

Tyn had been the easy target because of his reluctance to fight back against his 'pack,' and ever since she had come to in Urahara's underground chamber she'd found herself becoming angry every time she looked at Tyn's face.

He had been right all along, and she hadn't listened to him…no one had listened.

No…that wasn't right; her fracción had listened, had seen some of his logic.

And then she had came along and talked them out of it, had talked them into trusting Aizen.

"If I had listened to them…to _him_, maybe I would have seen it coming…" she murmured, pulling her knees up to her chest. "If we had all fled Los Noches, Sung-Sun, Apacci, and Mila Rose might still be here… They wouldn't have died needlessly fighting against the shinigami, and Aizen wouldn't have nearly killed me…"

She understood now why she had been the only one to have issues with Tyn… Starrk's lone "fracción" (though Tia wasn't entirely sure that was the best term for Lilynette) had survived, Ulquiorra had never had any fracción of his own, and while Grimmjow simply didn't give a damn about his, Halibel had cared for hers deeply.

And they had died because she had been too proud to entertain the notion that Tyn _might_ be correct.

Halibel pushed back the covers and swung her legs around, climbing out of her bed and going over to the bedroom window, looking out at the moonlit city streets far below as she reflected on the past eight months in Karakura.

How many times had she screamed at him, insulted him and meant it? How many times had she threatened him with violence? How many times had she hit him?

And each time, he had taken it with little to no fuss.

"_I'm_ the idiot…" she said softly, looking at her own reflection in the window as it gazed back at her.

That admission hurt; she was a proud creature, always had been, even in life, but she had to be honest with herself. For eight months, she had been the fool. For almost a year, she had been the unreasonable savage, not him.

Tyn's earlier words came back to haunt her now, relentlessly assaulting her pride even more.

_I've tried so hard to be the good guy here… I've bowed and scraped to your every demand and insult, I've smiled as you've screamed at me, and I've tolerated your physical abuse…and what the fuck have I done to deserve any of it?_

"Nothing." she whispered to the reflection in the window.

_I could have left you to die in Fake Karakura, and I'm starting to think that maybe I should have; I've never done a goddamned thing to you, and you treat me like I'm lower than dirt!_

"I'm sorry…" she said, swallowing hard. Apologizing hurt worse than admitting that she had been wrong, and still the worst part was yet to come; no, _that_ would be when she actually said it to him instead of to her own reflection.

Without thinking about what she was doing, Halibel left her bedroom and walked across the living room, and only realized what she was doing when she was standing just outside of Tyn's door. Hesitantly, she put her hand on the doorknob before taking a deep breath and steeling herself for what she had to do.

_Just get it over with_, she told herself as she turned the knob. _Apologize for everything and start fresh_.

She hated his bedroom, the Green Hell… He always kept it unnecessarily hot, with a humidifier running that kept the air moist, and the entire room was littered with dozens of artificial ferns and trees throughout…even the stupid walls were painted various shades of green!

Tyn was more in touch with his animal side than the rest of them, and his choice in décor reflected as much, and Tia was already standing over his sleeping form when she realized that meant she had just walked into the lair of a very dangerous and very pissed off animal.

_I should wait until morning…_ she thought, looking down at him.

Tyn didn't own a bed; just a sleeping mat, a pillow, and a blanket, and the last two items had only been purchased in the past couple of months.

During his exile in Hueco Mundo, Tyn had become accustomed to sleeping on the ground, his back against the wall to keep enemies from coming up behind him, and he had yet to break those old habits entirely.

He lay on his right side, back against the wall, the covers pushed aside completely and his right arm beneath the pillow under his head. His left arm was just barely outstretched, the hand slightly curled, and Halibel recognized that would have been where he held his zanpaktou, keeping it with him and ready at all times should one of the extermination squads find him.

The steady, rhythmic movements of his chest indicated that he was in a deep sleep, or as deep a sleep as he was capable of, anyway; she'd discovered over the last eight months that Tyn was an extremely light sleeper, and, by his own admission, also a very paranoid sleeper.

Although, he could hardly be blamed for _that_; paranoia would have been necessary to survive and stay one step ahead of Aizen's death squads. Sleeping lightly and killing anything that came too close and disturbed him would have been the only practical way to stay alive.

If he were to wake up now to see her standing over him, especially with as angry as he was earlier…

_Next time you scream at me or come after me, someone is going to die. No more games, no more tolerance; either you kill me, or I'll kill you._

Yeah, being in here right now wasn't a very good idea; it would be best to slowly, quietly, back out of the room and talk things over in the morning. The last thing she wanted was a fight, not anymore.

She took a step back, gingerly easing her foot down, being careful to not make a sound; while she knew he was a light sleeper, she wasn't entirely sure just _how_ light, and she wasn't anxious to find out. She took another cautious step backwards, and she heard one of the floorboards groan oh-so-slightly as her heel touched down upon it.

It was so faint that there was no possible way it could disturb anyone, no chance…

Tyn's eyes snapped open, and in the dim moonlight shining in through the bedroom window, Halibel could see her reflection in his green orbs quite clearly. She opened her mouth to try and explain things, to apologize, but she was far, far too slow.

Tyn came at her like a wild animal, coming up from his spot on the floor and straight into a charging tackle, driving his shoulder into Tia's midsection and forcing the wind from her as he knocked her from her feet, forcing her to fly backwards into, and through, the wall.

She crashed through the wall, sending wood and drywall everywhere as she tumbled into the kitchen, coming to a rest with her back against the stainless steel refrigerator. Dazed, she looked up just in time to see a fist screaming towards her face with the clear intent of crushing her gigai's skull, and she dodged her head just it time to feel the whiff of air is it sailed by her ear and slammed into the fridge door, denting it.

She pulled her legs up and planted her feet flat against his chest, shoving him away from her violently and buying the _tercera_ just enough time to get back to her feet.

"Tyn, listen to me!" she pleaded, but he was beyond hearing her words at the moment as he lunged forward again, hands reaching for her throat. Instinctually, Halibel deflected the incoming hands and slammed a palm-heel strike into his chest before picking him up and hurling him over the small bar and into the living room.

Tia came out of the kitchen, stepping around the bar just in time for Tyn to grab her, hoist her body high over his head, and slam her down into the small end-table next to his end of the couch, destroying the wooden structure.

That one had actually _hurt_, and she growled angrily with the realization the only way to get through to him was going to be by beating him into submission.

Halibel grabbed one of the thick, wooden legs of the broken end-table and came up swinging, connecting with the side of Tyn's head with enough force to take him off his feet and knock him over the couch, landing back-first onto the glass coffee table, shattering it into a thousand tiny shards as a splash of crimson painted the wall.

But the _quinto_ wouldn't stay down and was back on his feet in a flash, reaching across the couch and seizing Halibel by her golden blond locks before yanking her back across the couch towards him and shoving her head through the television screen, demolishing it.

He began to pull her back, preparing to ram her head into it a second time, but Tia had yanked the blu-ray player loose and turned around, smashing him in the face with it, forcing him to stagger backwards and collapse onto the second end-table on Tia's side of the couch.

"Damn it, Tyn…" she began, dropping the now-ruined device to the floor as she approached her roommate cautiously. "I was trying to-"

He came off the shattered remains of the table with another tackle, and the two of them went down to the floor hard, rolling across the broken glass and splintered wood as they exchanged punches and the occasional head-butt. They were just in front of Halibel's closed bedroom door when she finally managed to kick him off, sending his body through the wooden door.

She sat up and looked across at him as he did the same, shaking his head to clear the ringing before attacking her again, grabbing a long sliver of broken wood to use as a dagger.

"Will you at least _listen_ to me?" she asked, trying to dodge his attacks and not always succeeding, thanks to the gigai's limitations. The impromptu dagger narrowly missed a direct blow to her face, instead slicing a path along her right cheek as she jerked her head out of the way.

"I warned you!" raged Tyn, coming at her again, this time with an overhead stab.

Acting quickly, Halibel reached up and caught his wrist, using his own momentum against him as she plunged her other fist into his gut and hefted him off his feet and threw him across the living room to the far end of the couch.

He growled at her as he began to push himself back up to his feet, and then paused, looking at something on the ground near his hand; an innocent-looking green pill that for some reason brought an evil smile to his lips.

"Not the Soul Candy…" she breathed. "You wouldn't! The instant you do, the Seireitei will _know_ we're here!"

His hand closed around the green pill, and Tia realized that true to his earlier words, he _did_ intend to kill her, no matter what.

That was his end of the couch, and he'd kept his Soul Candy in that end-table, so hers should be right about where she was currently standing… She looked down at the ground, quickly sifting through the debris of the second end-table, finding and swallowing the little green pill and popping free of her gigai a split second before the berserk arrancar barreled into her, sending the both of them flying out through the sliding glass door leading to the balcony and then through the balcony's railing out into the night sky.

Free of their gigais now, Halibel had a decided advantage in strength as she caught herself in mid-air, grabbed hold of Tyn, and forcefully threw him at the street down below.

The _quinto_ impacted with the unforgiving concrete with enough force to leave a crater some four meters wide and half again as deep, with dozens of cracks racing outwards into the street away from the impact zone. He rolled over onto his back slowly, and for a brief second Tia hoped that he had come back to his senses.

And then she'd found herself dodging a crimson cero that came racing up towards her face with malicious intent.

She avoided it easily enough and sensing movement behind her, turned just in time to see Tyn's fist colliding with her face.

_God damn his speed!_ she thought angrily as she flew down diagonally, crashing through the roof of a small café that thankfully had closed for the night several hours ago.

Jaw aching as if her mask had been cracked, a stunned Tia picked herself up from the ground and looked skyward up through the hole, just in time to see Tyn tear his hand open, taking the blood and preparing to fire the forbidden Gran Rey Cero.

_Shit!_

It took all of her speed to sonido up to him in time to knock his hand upwards and send the devastating blast into the sky harmlessly instead of letting it obliterate the city block. The black night sky turned crimson for a minute as the powerful energy spent it's rage in the atmosphere, giving the brief illusion of a red dawn.

She clamped her hands around his wrists tightly, trying to control his fire and keep him from doing anything else that might recklessly endanger the human lives in the city down below. The irony of an Espada trying to protect humans was not lost on Tia, but she couldn't afford to reflect on it as Tyn lunged at her, snapping his teeth and he tried to bite at her face savagely. Jesus, she'd never seen him behave so viciously!

_I pushed him to this…it's my fault, all of it…_

The madness had gone on for far too long and she had to end it quickly, one way or another.

Jerking her head forward, Tia head-butted him repeatedly: once, twice, three times, and then four. She relinquished her grip on his wrist as he staggered backwards momentarily dazed, and Halibel took advantage of the situation to pummel him with a fierce barrage of punches whose power was such that he could _never_ hope to match, finishing with a devastating roundhouse that came around and down, sending him hurtling back towards the street below once more.

The impact didn't leave a crater this time as he hit the ground at an angle and slid, gouging out a two meter wide, fifteen meter long trench in the asphalt.

She opted not to follow up and press the attack, giving him time to get back to his feet and ascend skyward again, hoping that he would begin to realize the futility of this fight and simply give up.

She should have known better as he finally pulled his zanpaktou, _Garras Rapaces_, free of it's scabbard.

"Give up, Tyn…" she pleaded, drawing _Tiburón_ from it's own sheath across her back. "You're good with a blade, but not good enough to beat me."

It was only as he extended his arms and held the blade away from his body horizontally that she understood his _true_ intentions.

"Don't you dare!" she ordered him frantically, "Don't you even _consider_ releasing!"

Of course, he hadn't listened to her all night, so she didn't really expect him to start _now_…

"Rend, _Garras_-"

A burst of red crimson energy came from nowhere and struck Tyn in the hand, singing his flesh and nearly forcing him to drop his blade.

"I thought we had an agreement about behaving…" called a familiar voice, and both arrancar turned to see Kisuke Urahara casually walking across the night sky towards them, _Benihime_ already drawn and in her shikai form in anticipation of a battle. "Didn't we have a nice, long talk about this sort of behavior, or did I simply imagine it?"

"Stay out of this, shinigami…" growled Tyn, turning his attention back to Tia. "This is personal."

"It stopped being personal between you two the instant you hopped out of your gigais." corrected Urahara icily. "Right about now, the monitor stations in the Seireitei are _screaming_ that there are two extremely high-level hollows loose in Karakura, and when they find you, you'll both be killed, as will the others and all who have helped you, including myself, Isshin, Ichigo, and Orihime. Do you _really_ want that?"

"I just want _her_ dead." hissed the _quinto_ angrily.

"And I'm afraid I can't let you do that." said Urahara, drawing closer and adjusting his hat so Tyn could see the other man glaring at him threateningly. "If you try to continue this fight, I will have to put you down myself."

He looked back at Halibel as well, not sparing her any of the menace in his eyes.

"This goes for you, too. I'm giving you both one last chance to get back in your gigais and pretend this never happened before the Gotei 13 start showing up."

Halibel returned her zanpaktou to it's sheath and took a few steps forward towards Tyn, keeping a careful eye on _Garras Rapaces_ still in his hand, noting that he tightened his grip on the hilt as she approached.

"Easy…" Urahara warned as a low growl began to rumble in the back of the _quinto's_ throat, telling Tia not to come any closer.

"Tyn…" she said slowly, swallowing hard again. "Damn it, I'm _sorry_, okay? About tonight, about everything…"

His face remained impassive as she continued, wishing the entire time that Urahara wasn't there; admitting this was painful enough _without_ having another witness present.

"You were right about Aizen all along, and I didn't listen… Mila Rose, Sung-Sun, and Apacci all died _because_ I didn't listen… It's not you I'm angry at…it's me. It's _always _been me, and I've been using you as a scapegoat."

He still didn't respond, and she fought back the urge to scream at him, just to see if she could get _any_ kind of response, to know that he was indeed listening.

"I'm sorry, Tyn, for everything." she said instead.

After a long, tense moment, he returned his own zanpaktou to it's scabbard and stepped forward, coming nose to nose with her and glaring at her. He was searching her eyes for deception, she knew that; his amber eyes were carefully observing her for the slightest hint of a lie, and if he found any, they would be back to brawling, Kisuke's threat of intervening be damned.

And then he simply turned around, exposing his back and the black five tattooed on his neck to her before vanishing entirely. She turned and looked towards the apartment, just in time to see him pause at the ruined balcony and look back at her before disappearing inside. All trace of his spiritual pressure vanished shortly thereafter, and she knew that he had returned to his gigai.

Both she and Urahara could hear his bedroom door slamming shut angrily.

Tia exhaled a long sigh of relief and headed back to the apartment herself, Urahara on her tail the entire way.

She eased her way into her gigai as the ex-captain stood on the balcony looking down at the street and the emergency vehicles that had started showing up.

"Living in the human world as long I have has earned me a few connections within the city…" he said, watching the confused humans down below examine all the damage. "I'll pull a few strings and get this wrote up as a gas explosion or something. Insurance should cover the damage to the buildings, including this one, although you'll probably be responsible for your own furniture."

He turned back around to face Halibel now that she was back in her body.

"This is the last chance I can afford to give you two, assuming the Soul Society doesn't find you."

"I understand…" said Halibel, bowing her head slightly in thanks. "We appreciate your generosity."

Urahara sighed himself, finally returning _Benihime_ to her sealed form of a cane.

"Only a miracle will keep the Gotei 13 from noticing what happened tonight…" said Tia softly, coming up beside him to look down at the activity in the ruined street below, and the shopkeeper nodded his head in agreement.

"After tonight, you two had better hope you have a guardian angel somewhere."


	14. Breaking Point III

**The Miracle of Sake**

If there was a single worse punishment worse than monitor duty in the entire Seireitei, Rangiku Matsumoto didn't know of it.

Oh, she understood that monitor duty was a necessary evil, but it was also quite possibly the most boring job _ever_ conceived: worse than practice drills, worse than paperwork, maybe even worse than those stupid meetings. How anyone could do this job on a regular basis without going insane or being drop-dead drunk was beyond her comprehension.

Which was why she was working towards the latter of the two solutions before the former raised it's ugly head, although she very rarely got drunk alone; drinking just wasn't as fun without a friend.

Under normal circumstances, Squad 12 worked the monitor stations in rotating shifts, but tonight their captain had need of them all for some grand experiment. While Rangiku thought that the stations could safely be left unattended for one night, her own captain, Tōshirō Hitsugaya, had disagreed and volunteered her for the job.

Apparently, he was still a little pissed that she'd blown off some stupid paperwork last week in favor of sneaking down to the world of the living for a shopping spree, courtesy of the Squad 10 credit card that she'd "borrowed" from him.

Honestly, she'd have thought him to be _used_ to that sort of thing by now.

She took a long, slow drink of sake and sighed as she emptied the bottle. She looked at the empty clay container mournfully before sitting it in the floor and going over to the large metal cabinets against the wall to retrieve another one. She ignored the brightly-colored "Danger: High Voltage" sign and opened the cabinet door, and then opened the fake fuse panel behind it to reach the sake supply.

If Rangiku knew anything, it was where every single squad kept their sake stashed; it was valuable information, just in case of little emergencies like this. The only blank spot in this list of information was Squad 2, as she had thus far been completely unable to find _anything_ in their division.

Of course, Soifon was so strict that she probably _beat_ her men half to death if she ever caught them with sake while on duty, so…

The lieutenant returned to her seat in front of the screen, uncorking the bottle as she watched it scan the Karakura area back and forth for anything unusual. There were dozens of blank screens in the room, silent monitor stations who weren't active yet; the Seireitei had begun expanding their infrastructure to broaden their efforts to police spirits across the entire world of the living, but the monitor stations for the rest of the world wouldn't be ready for another month or two.

Even then, most of it would be automated, requiring only three technicians working at a time, maybe four or five if things got busy.

But right here, right now, this all seemed like a waste of time. Aizen had been defeated, and Ichigo could protect Karakura from almost any threat on his own now; the only thing that might give him trouble and the Seireitei reason for concern would be Espada-level arrancar, but they were all dead now, all except for…

"Hi, Rangiku!" sang a voice from behind cheerfully as a pair of arms wrapped themselves around her shoulders for a friendly hug.

"Hey Nel!" smiled Rangiku, turning around to face her friend and fellow lieutenant. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I thought you were probably bored, and I asked An to let me leave early so I could come by and keep you company for a little while." said the ex-Espada, pulling up a chair.

"Early?" said Rangiku, looking at the clock on the wall. "It's almost midnight; I thought you two usually had everything wrapped up before nine!"

"It's been a long day…" admitted Nel. "Lot of paperwork. An said he'd finish up for me."

"Want to trade captains?" asked Rangiku wryly as she went over to the cabinets to retrieve a couple of small cups. "Tōshirō would _never_ volunteer to do that for me."

"No way!" laughed Nel, "I'm happy with An, thanks."

"Can't blame a girl for asking…" said Rangiku, pouring sake in the two cups and offering one to Neliel, who simply stared at the small cup as if it were dangerous.

"I don't know, Rangiku…" she said slowly, "Not after last time; I thought my head was going to explode!"

"Oh, come on, live a little!" encouraged the strawberry-blond, "That was _months_ ago! Besides, it's no fun to drink alone…don't make me drink alone, Nel!"

Neliel bit her lip nervously, looking from the cup to Rangiku.

"Well, maybe just _one_ wouldn't hurt…"

* * *

"Almost…_done_!" announced Anrak to the empty office as he finished signing the last form for the evening and put it in the completed pile. It was almost two in the morning, and after spending the last five hours doing paperwork, he was ready to go to bed and sleep in as long as possible.

He absolutely _hated_ days like today; the paperwork was easily the worst part of being a captain, and about twice a month there would be days where the normal load doubled, sometimes tripled.

It wasn't usually a problem; his lieutenant, Neliel, was very dependable at doing her duties, including all of her own paperwork, but he had granted her an early leave tonight to go visit Rangiku, who was stuck with monitor duty. If he hadn't done that, they could have been finished around twelve-thirty, but Anrak would have felt guilty for denying her request.

_She's made you soft_, taunted Kagi inside his head.

"Hush, you." he growled as he stood up and stretched.

Neliel was probably back at their quarters by now, wondering when he was going to come home if she wasn't already asleep.

The door to the office opened without preamble, and Anrak looked up, fully expecting to see Neliel coming back to make sure he didn't need any help. Instead, he was surprised to see his long-time friend Renji Abarai, holding a bottle of sake.

"Not tonight…" Anrak said, rubbing at his tired eyes. "It's too late to start drinking."

"Bottle's almost empty." said Renji, retrieving a pair of cups from one of the office cabinets and handing one to his friend. "Since you didn't get to go out with the rest of us tonight, I thought I'd at least bring you a _little_ bit to drink."

He filled the two cups, emptying the bottle entirely and dumping it in the wastebasket beside Anrak's desk.

"Alright, you win." Anrak said with a smirk. "It's not _too_ late for a quick drink."

"That's the spirit!" said Renji as the two captains clinked their cups together before slinging the warm alcohol down their throats.

"I suppose I did kind of need that after tonight…" Anrak admitted, putting the now-empty sake cups away.

"Yeah, I kinda figured as much… Anyway, where's Nel? She already go home for the night?"

"Probably is by now; I let her off early to go say hello to Rangiku on monitor duty." said Anrak, and Renji just froze in place with a look of disbelief etched on his face.

"You know Rangiku is going to be drinking while she's there, right?" he asked.

"Yeah…so? I mean, Rangiku is _always_ drinking."

"Rangiku drinks the hardest when she has company, and as much as I like Nel, she can be a little naïve…"

Anrak twitched, seeing where Renji was going with this.

"Maybe we should go check on them, then…"

* * *

The monitor station had been screaming it's little electronic heart out for three minutes now, beeping madly to a world that wasn't listening as it displayed two very large and very powerful blips on the screen over Karakura Town.

Normally, this would send the technician on duty into a panic and he would go running to the nearest Captain with news of an impending disaster, and an assault team would be organized immediately to go combat the threat.

Instead, the two women present were dancing about drunkenly, treating the mysterious beeping like music.

"Beep-beep-beep-ba-doop-doop!" sang Rangiku along with the 'music,' bumping her hips against Neliel's as she raised the sake bottle to her lips and took a long drink.

"Bada-boop-boop-beep-boop!" answered Neliel, giggling as she took another drink from her own bottle.

Neither woman noticed when the frantic beeping of the radar system finally ceased and went silent, and neither did they notice that the two blips had disappeared from the screen.

"Beep-a-leep-a-beep-beep!" cheered Rangiku, laughing as she fell backwards into the floor, landing square on her butt.

"Beep-beep-beepity-boop-beep!" finished Nel, collapsing backwards into the floor as well.

* * *

"I hope I'm wrong…" began Renji as the two captains approached the monitor room, "I really do, but… _Listen_! What the hell is that?"

Both men stopped in their tracks for a second, listening to the sound of intense beeping coming from the monitor room just up ahead and they paled. Oh no, this couldn't be good!

They took of in a dead run, bursting into the room and rushing straight over to the little station for Karakura Town.

The radar continued it's scan as if nothing was wrong in the world down below, with no unusual blips on the screen and no noise coming from the terminal, despite the presence of insane beeping still in the room. Renji and Anrak turned to see a red-faced Rangiku and a decidedly tipsy-looking Nel sitting in the floor essentially _singing _beeping noises, and both men just face-palmed.

"Way to give us a heart attack, you two…" said Anrak sourly, and the women looked up, noticing the two captains for the first time.

"Hi, Captain Ushii!" greeted Rangiku, slurring his name slightly.

"Hi, honey!" hiccupped Nel as she waved drunkenly at her lover.

"Lieutenant Neliel…" began Anrak stiffly, ignoring the teasing grin that was spreading itself across Renji's face, "Please remember that we are supposed to be professional while on duty."

"Hi, Captain-honey!" Neliel tried to correct herself, and Anrak just sighed as he reached down and helped her up off the floor.

"Close enough, I guess…" he muttered as she giggled and leaned against him heavily.

"What was with all the beeping?" asked Captain Abarai as he helped Rangiku to her feet.

"We were singing!" explained Neliel eagerly. "We were having too much fun it turned into a little party…"

The green-haired arrancar reached for a bottle of sake still sitting on the monitor terminal, but Renji quickly grabbed it first, keeping it away from the two intoxicated women.

"Whatever happened to the whole 'never drinking again, _ever_' thing?" Anrak asked Neliel as she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep from falling down again.

"I only had one or two…" she protested.

"Or twelve…" said Renji dryly, looking around at all the empty bottles.

"Or twelve." agreed Neliel readily. "It's not my fault; I'm very su-shceptible to peer pressure."

Anrak couldn't help but smile at his lover-slash-lieutenant as she slurred her words together, shaking his head.

"What am I going to do with you?" he asked her.

She hiccupped and gave him a very coy grin as an answer.

"Not that." Anrak said. "Not with as drunk as you are."

"I'm not _that_ drunk!"

"Too drunk for _that_!" countered Anrak.

"…too drunk for what?" asked Neliel, having already forgotten what they were talking about, courtesy of the sake-induced fog clouding her mind.

Renji was laughing at the two of them from his spot in the corner at the coffeemaker as he brewed a quick pot for the drunken Rangiku to try and help her sober up before Hitsugaya came to check up on her. If the diminutive ice captain were to show up _now_ and see his lieutenant this drunk while on duty…

Well, the dawn of a new ice age _would_ give Captain Kurotsuchi an excuse to start engineering Woolly Mammoths…

"Come on, let's get you home…" said Anrak, scooping Nel up in his arms. "Put you to bed before you get in any more trouble."

"We're leaving already?" asked Neliel, pouting.

"Hai, we are."

"Okay… Bye, Rangiku!" sang Nel, waving her arm frantically and suddenly becoming very cheerful as if she were wishing a friend _bon-voyage_.

"Bye, Nel!" hiccupped Rangiku, giggling as she waved back.

"I hope Rangiku doesn't get caught by Tōshirō…" said Anrak as they left. "She probably wouldn't have gotten so hammered if she'd been alone… Oh well, not like there's really any arrancar left to worry about, right?"

Not only was Neliel too drunk to form a coherent answer, she also wasn't paying attention to a single word he said.

"Ohhh…" began Nel, her voice suggesting she was about to burst out into song.

"Please don't…" begged Anrak, remembering all too-well of just how poorly Neliel sang when she was drunk, and how she could never keep it all in one language.

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!  
Sie finden er ist ein Genie eines Wiz! Wenn je ein Wiz! dort war.  
Wenn je oh je eine Wiz! Da war der Zauberer von Oz ist einer da,  
because, because, because, because, because  
Wegen der wunderbaren Dinge, die er tut!"

Anrak just gave a long-suffering sigh as Neliel began to sing happily while bouncing about enthusiastically in his arms.

Fortunately, she passed out after only a few minutes and was sound asleep by the time he reached their quarters. Carefully, he slipped her into bed, removing her sandals for her before pulling the covers up, taking great care not to disturb his sleeping beauty. He looked down at her affectionately, brushing a stray strand of green hair away from her face and watching as a soft smile settled on her delicate lips at his touch.

It was remarkable how very much like an angel she looked at that moment…

*Hiccup!*

A drunken, ditzy angel, but an angel nonetheless.


	15. Fallout

**Fallout**

"Are you sure you _want_ to work today?"

It took every ounce of Halibel's self-control not to scowl bitterly at the stupidity of the question; if only the silly human knew that wounds like these meant _nothing_ to her. Still, she turned away slightly so that the other woman couldn't see her bruised and swollen left eye, hoping she would take the hint and leave her be.

Of course, there was still a long gash along her right cheek from the wooden sliver from her door that Tyn had used as a dagger, not to mention that her bottom lip was swollen.

The gigai was capable of healing at an accelerated rate compared to humans, but it was painfully slow to what she was used to in her spirit form. Still, the regeneration _was_ working; when she'd first gotten up this morning, her eye had been so swollen that she couldn't see out of it, and now her vision was perfect once more.

By tonight, all of her injuries should be gone.

The physical ones, anyway; the emotional ones would probably take a bit longer.

"I'm fine." she said, forcing a smile despite her annoyance. Really, why the hell couldn't people just mind their own business?

"That punk roommate of yours did it, didn't he?" asked the big man who served as the bouncer, Dunc, cracking his knuckles. "I'll break his little nec-"

"Stay out of it, Dunc." she warned before tacking on a polite "please" at the end. "I started it, not Tyn."

"No, you didn't!" exclaimed Kishiko, one of the waitresses. "All battered women end up hiding behind excuses just like that!"

Tia twitched at that, and she knew it to be a very visible reaction.

"Battered woman?" she asked, turning to face Kishiko slowly. " Do you honestly think for one second that I would simply _allow_ someone to beat me?"

It was a rhetorical question, one that her coworkers weren't meant to even attempt to answer, but Sachi, the other waitress, spoke up anyway.

"I'm sure you tried to fight back, but abuse-"

"_Tried_ to fight back?" Tia spat, whirling to face her now. "Tyn looks _worse_ than I do!"

"Still-"

"Look…" she said finally, holding up a hand to silence everyone, "I appreciate your concern, but you don't know the whole story. Want a summary of it? For eight months, I have been abusing _him_: screaming at him, insulting him, threatening him, beating him…and he's taken it all. Last night Tyn told me he was tired of it, said he was going to move out. I lost my temper and came at him again, and this time he finally fought back."

There was silence as her three coworkers looked at her in disbelief as Tia went back to polishing the slick wooden surface of the bar. It wasn't the _entire_ story, but she hoped it would be enough to get the humans to all shut up about it.

"He shouldn't have hit you, though…" said Kishiko slowly.

Not this again…

"What, so it's okay for _me_ to hit him, but he should never hit back just because I'm a woman?" asked Halibel, irritated at the logic being displayed by the other women. "I'd rather him consider me an _equal_ and hit me back than treat me like I'm delicate and inferior just because I have breasts!"

"Never realized you were so feisty…" said a bemused Dunc, giving a deep laugh. "I think you might actually have a bigger mean streak than _I_ do!"

"You have _no_ idea…" said Tia, giving a thin, humorless smile as she narrowed her eyes darkly, dissolving Dunc's genuine belly laugh into a much more forced, nervous chuckle. She was pretty sure he was just now starting to see some of the truth about her, about how dangerous she could truly be.

"So what happens now?" asked Sachi as Kishiko went back out to the floor to check on a customer at one of the back tables. "Do you go back to him, or-"

"Why do you keep making it sound like we're a mated pair or something?" asked Tia, sliding a mug of beer down to a waiting patron at the far end of the bar.

"Mated pair?" echoed Sachi. "You mean a couple? I thought you two were…"

"We're _not_." Tia said icily. "Never have been, never will be. We're just roommates, nothing more."

"Okay…but what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know…" said the blond, placing her palms flat against the countertop and leaning on them heavily. "I really don't know."

* * *

"She kicked your ass good, didn't she?"

Tyn scowled and swatted at the annoying _sexta_, narrowly missing as Grimmjow stepped back out of the way, still laughing at the massive bruise on the right side of Tyn's face where Tia had clobbered him with a table leg.

"You _do_ look pretty terrible…" commented Starrk from the window as he made change for a customer.

"And the worst part?" asked Grimmjow, giving a malicious grin. "That swollen lip will make it hard for the two of them to kiss and make up!"

He laughed at his own joke, clutching at his sides as if it were the most hilarious thing ever, but a decidedly less-amused Tyn took a stack of four frozen beef patties that were stuck together and hurled them at the other man's face with all of his gigai's might.

*WHAM!*

The frozen beef found it's mark and slammed into Grimmjow's face, busting his nose and upper lip, sending blood splashing, some on the floor, some on the wall, and most of it on the hamburgers.

"You son of a bitch!" roared the bloodied arrancar, tackling Tyn to the ground in rage.

Starrk moved away from the drive-through window as he watched the other two arrancar roll about on the floor punching each other senseless, with Grimmjow focusing the bulk of his attacks on the giant bruise on Tyn's face.

Tyn reached up, trying to grab a weapon of some sort, and succeeding in grabbing the handle of the spatula sitting on the hot grill. He pressed the hot, flat metal surface against Grimmjow's forehead and nose, the sound of sizzling and the scent of burnt flesh filling the kitchen area.

An injured Grimmjow released his hold on the _quinto_ and rolled off to the side, trying to climb to his feet while clutching at his burnt face. Tyn dropped his impromptu weapon to the floor and hopped to his feet, grabbing Grimmjow by the back of his red Burger World employee shirt and ramming his head into the giant stainless steel freezer door twice before Ulquiorra finally came out of the manager's office and broke the two of them up.

"That's enough!" barked the _cuarto_, actually raising his voice for once as he physically stepped between the two brawling arrancar and pushed them away from one another.

Tyn and Grimmjow stared angrily at each other for a long moment before each finally turned and walked away, with Tyn retrieving the spatula and the bloodied, frozen hamburger patties from the floor while Grimmjow retrieved a frozen chicken patty from the freezer to hold against his burnt forehead.

"Didn't you do enough fighting last night?" asked Ulquiorra as he eyed the redhead with obvious disapproval. "Are you _trying_ to alert the Soul Society that we're here?"

"Back off." growled Tyn as he pried the tainted, frozen hamburgers apart and plopped them down on the grill. "You weren't there, and you don't know what it was like."

"I know you used your Soul Candy. I know you were prepared to destroy half the city to kill her."

"Been talking with Urahara, haven't you?" asked Tyn sourly, sprinkling a touch of salt on the hamburgers as they cooked.

"I have." Ulquiorra confirmed. "It is very possible the Soul Society is looking for us now, and he has asked Lady Yoruichi to go investigate what the Seireitei knows, if anything."

Tyn said nothing, glancing up at the order screen instead of at the _cuarto_. Grimmjow walked by, still grumbling, and Tyn snatched the frozen chicken patty away from his face, tossing it on the grill.

"Hey! Give that back, you bastard!"

"You really want it back _now_?" asked Tyn, watching the meat in question sizzle against the steel surface.

The _sexta_ growled and went back to the freezer to grab another frozen patty as Tyn pressed the chicken against the grill with his spatula. It still had some flecks of the gigai's flesh stuck to it, but he figured the customer waiting at Starrk's window should feel lucky to be getting the extra meat.

"You're not at least going to wash the chicken off?" asked Ulquiorra, and Tyn spit on the chicken quickly, smearing the clear liquid about the patty's surface with his spatula and letting the grill bake it into the meat.

"There, it's clean. Happy?" he asked bitterly as he finally removed the chicken breast from the grill and put it on a bun before wrapping it and tossing it over to Starrk.

"Perhaps you should not have came in today… You are still acting angry and irrational."

"I wonder how many health violations we commit on a daily basis here…" asked Starrk, walking away from his currently customer-less window and trying to draw attention away from the scowling _quinto_, who had begun to fidget underneath Ulquiorra's interrogation as if he were close to losing his patience.

"I ceased keeping track long ago." Ulquiorra admitted as he looked up at the other man, and Tyn favored Starrk with a slight nod, thanking him for diverting the conversation to another topic.

"I call thirteen." said Grimmjow, checking his reflection in the freezer door to see if the burn on his forehead was starting to heal yet.

"Not that many…" said Starrk. "I'm going to say nine."

"Fifteen." guessed Tyn.

"The highest I counted before I gave up was twelve." said Ulquiorra, and Grimmjow grinned in triumph.

"I was closest, so I win! Suck it, losers!"

"Traditionally, it's supposed to be the closest without going over…" said Starrk. "So actually, _I_ win."

"Then here's your fucking prize!" spat Grimmjow, picking up a fresh patty that had been sitting at room temperature long enough to thaw, wadding it up and hurling it at the _primera's_ face.

Starrk easily plucked the ball of beef out of the air and flattened it back into a semi-round shape before walking over and dropping it into the grill as Ulquiorra finally retreated back into the manager's office.

"Truthfully," he said to Tyn as soon as Ulquiorra was out of earshot, "I always thought Grimmjow would be the one dumb enough to break out the Soul Candy."

"Hey, fuck you, buddy!" snarled Grimmjow, giving the other man the finger as he went to the front register to attend to a customer.

"Yeah, yeah…" said Tyn. "I know I screwed up, and I'm sorry for endangering everyone. If we can get through this crap without being caught, I won't be so careless again."

"I believe it. You're not Grimmjow; you actually seem to _learn_ from your mistakes." said Starrk, going back to his window as the _sexta_ scowled at him from over at the register.

"I hate you, Starrk."

* * *

"Holy shit, this place is more of a dump than _my_ apartment!"

Halibel winced under Grimmjow's words and mocking laughter, embarrassed to have him and the others all crowded into the apartment to survey the damage. God damn it, couldn't _anyone_ respect that this was a private matter between her and Tyn?

"Oh, not the TV, too!" exclaimed Lilynette. "It's a better TV than we have, and you broke it!"

"Love the new paint scheme…" said Starrk dryly, examining a small red splash on the white wall, and Halibel rubbed the faded, almost-healed slash on her cheek, feeling pretty sure that it was her blood.

"The landlord says insurance will cover the damage to the apartment itself… I managed to convince him it was all caused by the 'gas explosion' that tore up the street and the café across the road." said Tia from her side of the couch, glancing over at Tyn at the far end. "We'll have to replace the furniture ourselves, though."

"No more end-tables…" said Tyn, refusing to look in her direction. "They're stupid and pointless as long as we get a new coffee table."

"Agreed." said Halibel, rubbing her back that was still bearing a faint bruise from having gone through one of the end-tables.

"And I thought things between me and Rukia were rough…" said Ichigo, leaning up against the far wall and scratching the back of his head. "But you two have _got_ to be the most dysfunctional couple I've ever seen."

"We're _not_ a couple!" the duo declared simultaneously, each sounding offended by the very suggestion.

Ulquiorra lightly rapped his knuckles against the large sheet of plywood that was temporarily covering the broken sliding glass door, examining it.

"Your presence is not required here, Kurosaki." said the _cuarto_, looking over at the teen who had came straight from school. "We can handle this ourselves."

"The hell it's not!" challenged the part-time shinigami, "These two nearly destroyed the town last night!"

"A reckless exaggeration." said Ulquiorra dismissively. "The damage done to this single apartment unit, one street, and a small café hardly constitutes 'destroying the town,' as you put it."

"Want me to throw him out?" asked Grimmjow, psychotically grinning at Ichigo as he began to crack his knuckles threateningly. "I'd be _happy_ to do the honors!"

"Leave Ichigo alone!" huffed Orihime. "He's the shinigami assigned to protect Karakura, so he has a right to be here and help sort this out!"

"Oh, give me a fucking break!" said Grimmjow, rolling his eyes. "The only way to 'sort this out' is to let the two of them fight to the death; whoever wins keeps the apartment, and everyone is happy!"

"Stop trying to get me killed." growled Tyn. "Just because _you_ couldn't beat me, you're wanting Tia to do it for you."

"Hey, fuck you, lizard-boy! I'll stomp you-"

"Instead of being a pain in everyone's ass, Grimmjow, why don't you make yourself useful and start cleaning up the mess while the grownups talk?" asked Halibel coolly, and the _sexta_ turned red in the face with anger.

"Watch your mouth before I kick-

"Shut up and get to work, Grimmjow." said Starrk, letting some of the authority that came with his rank seep into his voice for once.

Muttering colorful curses under his breath the entire time, Grimmjow took a garbage sack and began picking up the broken bits of glass, plaster, drywall, and wood, being sure to give each person in the room a hateful stare.

"Raptors are more like birds than lizards, anyway." Lilynette told him matter-of-factly. "I learned that in school last week."

"Oh, shut up!" snapped Grimmjow, swatting at Lilynette as she ran and hid behind Starrk, making sure to stick her tongue out at the _sexta_ for good measure.

"Anyway…" began Orihime, smiling as she ignored Grimmjow and sat down on a small footstool in front of Tyn and Tia, "Why don't we try some counseling to help you two get over your problems?"

"We're fine now." said Tyn stiffly, still refusing to look at his roommate.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of." Orihime assured them, "Plenty of couples go to therapy together-"

"We're _not_ a couple!" barked Tyn and Tia together again, eliciting a light chuckle from Starrk.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." apologized Orihime. "But still, I really think this will help you. Now, first I want you to take a minute to think about it, and then I want you to tell me one thing you like about each other."

"Do we _have_ to do this?" asked Halibel, curling her lip back as she looked at Tyn, with the raptor finally looking back over at her and narrowing his own green eyes darkly.

"I got nothing." he said, turning away again and ignoring the irritated growl coming from the blond.

"We're not leaving until we make some progress here." said Orihime firmly. "Now think; there's got to be _something_ you like about each other."

There was a long pause as they looked back at one another, making eye contact.

"He's not Grimmjow." said Tia finally.

"She's not Grimmjow, either." agreed Tyn.

"Hey, assholes, I'm right here, you know!" yelled Grimmjow bitterly, tightening his fists as he considered assaulting the both of them until Ulquiorra gave him a warning look that silently told him to shut up and go back to cleaning, or else.

"I think Orihime means something more like personal habits, or looks." said Ichigo from his spot against the wall, ignoring the pissed-off panther.

"I can't think of a goddamned thing." said Tyn, looking away from Tia angrily.

"His hair…" she admitted softly, looking back at Orihime. "His _real_ hair, not the gigai's; the bloody crimson is…unique."

"That's wonderful!" exclaimed Orihime happily. "That's _exactly_ the sort of thing I'm looking for!"

Tyn finally looked back at Halibel, arching an eyebrow in silent question, but she chose to ignore him as she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for him to actually say something positive about her.

_Bloody hell…_ he thought, wishing for some sort of major disaster, natural or un-natural, to happen right about now: flood, earthquake, volcano, hollow attack, Godzilla, _anything_.

"Her scent…" growled Tyn finally. "There, we're done. Now everyone can just _go away_."

"Her scent?" asked a confused-sounding Orihime, and Grimmjow began to laugh at her as he finished filling up his first garbage bag and retrieved a second one from a cabinet in the kitchen.

"You humans and your pitiful senses!" he chuckled, shaking his head. "You're all pathetic!"

"We have better senses than humans…" Ulquiorra explained, casting another glance back at Grimmjow to silence him. "Even trapped inside our gigais, we still retain superior senses to humans, and each person has their own unique scent."

"You smell kind of like oranges, Orihime." added Starrk. "Grimmjow smells kinda like ammonia, and Ulquiorra is like a musty old attic."

"Tia smells like vanilla…" muttered Tyn, looking away. "I like it, even if she _is_ a pain in the ass."

Orihime was grinning ear to ear now, obviously feeling as if they'd made a major breakthrough of sorts, although her two "patients" would both disagree. In fact, the only thing they were willing to agree on at the moment was that they had fulfilled their end of the stupid therapy session and that everyone should leave them the hell alone now.

"Okay, you're making _great_ progress!" Orihime exclaimed cheerfully. "Keep going; name something else you like about each other."

"I like that he's probably as fed up with this as I am…" said Tia, tired of this pointless exercise.

"Damn straight!" agreed Tyn readily. "Why don't you all just _go home_ and let us sort this shit out for ourselves?"

"Because I don't want you to destroy the town!" snapped Ichigo, coming away from the wall to stand in front of them, dragging his backpack with him. "Look at how well you did on your own last night! Karakura doesn't _need_ a repeat of that! It's too dangerous to leave you two alone until you've calmed down!"

"We're perfectly calm." stated Halibel flatly. "You, however, seem to be quite agitated."

"Because I have a bunch of former Espada living in my city and you've demonstrated some _major_ anger-management problems, so yeah, I'm just a little agitated!" exclaimed Kurosaki, raising his voice further. "First Grimmjow attacks me at the beach, and now you two let your personal squabble spill out into the streets and endanger innocent lives!"

"Hey!" snapped Grimmjow as he dumped another dustpan full of drywall into the black garbage bag, "Leave me _out_ of this shit!"

"Fair enough…" said Halibel to the Soul Reaper as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a very familiar-looking green pill.

"Don't do it…" warned Ichigo, reaching for his substitute badge, but Halibel merely looked at him as if he were a complete moron as she handed her Soul Candy over to Ulquiorra.

"Ulquiorra will keep our Soul Candy until he is convinced that we are no longer a risk to the town." she said, crossing her arms once more before looking over at Tyn and silently prompting him to follow her lead.

Reluctantly, Tyn fished his own Soul Candy out of his pocket and dropped it into Ulquiorra's waiting hand, and the _cuarto_ quickly tucked the dangerous little pills away into his own pockets, safely putting them out of sight and out of mind.

"Alright, I _guess_ that'll do for now…" said Kurosaki, not sounding entirely convinced. "But still…"

Meanwhile, his backpack began to unzip, seemingly by itself as he continued talking, unnoticed by anyone.

Kon slowly raised his stuffed head out from the backpack looking around cautiously. He'd followed Ichigo to school hoping to see his dear Rukia, but alas, she had not shown up, and so he had nestled himself into the bottom of the backpack and taken a little nap until a few minutes ago when he heard raised voices.

The mod soul couldn't quite make out the words from inside the backpack, with all the notebooks and folders around him that acting as additional soundproofing, but he was quite sure they weren't home yet. Curiosity had gotten the better of him, and he very carefully looked around, taking in his surroundings and hoping no one noticed him.

He didn't recognize all the guys, although whoever they were, they seemed to be aware of who and what Ichigo was, so Kon assumed them to be Soul Reapers. He turned a bit and saw his sweet, busty Orihime talking to someone, and Kon looked to see who…

"Hallelujah, amen…" breathed Kon in awe as his nose began to bleed somehow, despite the stuffed body not actually having any blood or organs to speak of.

The woman Orihime was speaking to was an absolute knockout, with her gorgeous sea-green eyes, perfectly-tanned skin, golden-blond hair, full lips, and a bust that was at _least_ as big as Rangiku's.

Her white button-up top had the top few buttons undone, giving Kon a very scenic view of her considerable cleavage, and the pint-sized pervert suddenly found himself developing an acute sense of tunnel vision; there was nothing else but her magnificent chest right now, and he began to climb out of the backpack, operating solely on autopilot as he felt a magnetic pull towards her glorious breasts.

"Come to me, my sweet, sweet goddess!" he cried, launching himself from the backpack towards her oh-so-inviting chest.

He found his mark and buried his face inside her cleavage, savoring the feel of her soft flesh against his head as he began to rub his face across her skin.

"_Urk_!" he croaked as the goddess in question grabbed him with one of her oh-so-smooth hands, squeezing Kon's stuffed body so tightly that it threatened to burst some of his seams, and he found himself being pulled away from heaven. He forgot all about the pain as he continued reaching towards the breasts, trying to touch them once more, until he was brought up look the blond woman in the eyes. Kon didn't think he'd ever seen such rage in someone's face before, not in Rukia, not in Rangiku, not even when he'd hurled himself at Yoruichi!

He watched her pull a fist back, and he gulped in terror as he realized his mistake…

Ichigo turned his back to the scene, tuning out the cries for help for a few minutes.

"I'm sorry! _OW! _Please-_OW!_ forgive-_OW! _me! It's ju-_OW_ just that-_AHH!_ you're _OW!_ so beaut-_EEEK!_-iful that _OW! _I couldn't _YAHH! _help myself!"

When Ichigo finally turned back around, Kon was pulling himself across the floor with his one remaining arm, trying to get to the safety of the backpack. His legs were in tatters and one of his little beaded eyes was hanging out, and the seams had burst at numerous points on his body, letting his cottony-insides spill forth.

"Jesus, "said Ichigo, picking Kon up off the floor. "You look worse than when that pit-bull down the street got hold of you."

"I _feel_ worse than when that pit-bull got finished with me…" Kon admitted using his good arm to try and stuff some of the soft, white cotton back into his body before grinning lecherously. "But it was _worth_ it!"

"You little-!" snarled Tia, reaching for him again, but Orihime moved to get between them.

"Don't _kill_ him!" pleaded Orihime, opposed to the prospect of further violence.

"Is it even _possible_ to kill that thing?" asked Starrk, scratching his chin thoughtfully.

"We're about to find out…" growled Halibel, and Kon yelped fearfully before diving from Ichigo's hands into the backpack and hiding.

"No killing Kon, even if he _is_ a moron." announced Ichigo, picking up the backpack.

"Thanks for sticking up for me-" began Kon, and Ichigo punched the backpack, resulting in a muffled exclamation of "ow" coming from the bag.

"Shut up in there!" he barked at the mod soul. "You're in enough trouble as it is, so just stay quiet!"

"Fine!" yelled Kon. "I'll be quiet, but you make sure and wake me up when we get to the nerd's house!"

"You little pain in the ass…" growled Ichigo, shaking the backpack roughly. "One of these days, Uryū is going to stop patching you up for free, you know!"

Kon didn't bother to reply as Ichigo finally zipped up the backpack once more and slung it over his shoulder as he prepared to leave, with the others mercifully doing the same.

"Look, just try not to kill each other or anyone else…" said Kurosaki as he looked back at the two arrancar still seated on the couch. "Next time you feel a fight brewing, just take a deep breath and walk away from each other…"

"No more of _this_." he finished, gesturing to the trashed apartment.

"Or come over and talk to Ulquiorra and me!" offered Orihime cheerfully. "We're always willing to help out, aren't we, Ulquiorra?"

"I suppose…" said the _cuarto_ as he thrust his hands into his pockets, sounding decidedly less-enthusiastic than his roommate.

"You want to stay at our place for a couple of days? Don't have an extra room, but we have a new couch." Starrk asked Tyn as Lilynette poked at Ichigo's backpack, giggling at the muffled groans of pain that came from it.

The raptor took a long, hard look at Halibel as he considered his answer, noting that Tia wouldn't look at him, choosing instead to avert her eyes. He was pretty sure that the fighting was done for now, and all that remained was diplomacy.

"Not tonight…" said Tyn finally. "I think we need to talk on our own first. I'll get back with you tomorrow, okay?"

"Suit yourself. Come on, Lilynette; you still need to do your homework before bedtime."

Starrk led Lilynette out into the hall to go home, with Ichigo leaving with them to head to the Quincy's house to fix his perverted stuffed animal. Ulquiorra headed for the door as well, with Orihime and Grimmjow falling into step behind him. The _sexta_ nearly left the two garbage bags he'd managed to fill behind, but another look from the Demon Bat forced him to pick them up and haul the trash down to the dumpster on his way out.

Finally alone, Tyn and Tia sat in silence for several long minutes, each reluctant to look at the other.

Instead, they carefully looked at the remains of the apartment, and the few remaining piles of broken glass and wood that needed to be cleaned up and thrown away. Broken chunks of wood still connected to the metal hinges were the only indication that Halibel had ever had a door to her room, and there was still a gaping body-sized hole in the wall between Tyn's bedroom and the small kitchen.

The smashed television sat on the entertainment center silently, with the busted blu-ray player in the floor. With it were strewn the cases of movies, some of which had been busted open during the fight, allowing for the discs inside to be shattered. The red splash on the white wall stood out, begging to be cleaned off, although neither individual could find the motivation to do so at the moment.

A small draft came around the sheet of plywood blocking the way to the now-destroyed balcony and the broken sliding glass door, filling the living room with the chill night air from outside.

The dent in the refrigerator door would likely never be fixed, and there was now a thin crack running through the Corian countertop on the bar that hadn't been there before the fight.

The couch was mostly intact, although a few pieces of the broken glass and wood had managed to slice open the exterior cover in some places, revealing the soft stuffing underneath. The twin end-tables were history, and all that remained of them were various pieces of wood, including the broken table leg Tia had used as a club, and she noted a red stain on the end that had impacted with Tyn's skull.

She looked back at him and the massive bruise covering the right side of his face that was still healing, noticing the now-closed gash in his forehead for the first time.

"If you still want to move out, I won't stop you." said Halibel, trying to sound unaffected by the chaos around her.

"Do you want me to move?" asked Tyn gruffly, looking back at her.

"I…don't know." she admitted, her facade of confidence faltering slightly.

"Maybe I should, before we kill each other."

"You don't _have_ to…" said Tia softly, remorse weaving itself into her tone. "I'm done, Tyn. No more screaming, no more abuse. That's not me, not really… I'm sorry it came to this, sorry for everything."

"So am I…" said Tyn, standing up. "I think I'm going to go to bed… It's been a long fucking day for both of us."

"Yes, it has." she nodded in agreement. "I'm going to take a shower first to get that _thing's_ scent off, and then I'm calling it a night."

_Scent_… she thought, remembering what he'd said earlier.

"Tyn, did you mean it when you said-" she asked, but he simply vanished into his room and shut the door behind him without another word.

Shaking her head, Tia headed to the bathroom to take her shower, trying to forget about it as she turned on the hot water and began to disrobe; what did it matter what he thought about her scent, anyway? It wasn't like she actually _wanted_ his approval for anything!

She sighed as she stepped inside and let the hot water course over he body, taking extra care to wash where that awful little beast had touched her earlier before washing her hair. Her keen ears thought they heard Tyn's bedroom door open and then shut once more a minute later, but she shrugged it off; he was probably just getting a drink of water before bed.

Of course, he _could_ have simply used the hole between his room and the kitchen for that…

Regardless of what he was doing, it didn't concern her and she pushed it out of her mind as she finished up and stepped out of the shower, drying off and re-dressing herself.

Her hair was still damp as she went to her bedroom and changed into her shorts and loose t-shirt that was her nightwear, keeping an eye on her doorless-doorway in case Tyn should happen to wander in on her for some reason, although she was fairly certain he would never walk in on her unannounced for anything.

Maybe tomorrow they'd be able to talk more and reach an agreement of some kind. Maybe tomorrow they could finish cleaning the apartment, and maybe the maintenance people could patch up the massive hole in the wall and fix the balcony.

She pulled back the covers on her bed, noticing something resting on her pillow as she did so; an object of some kind and a folded sheet of paper. Carefully, she picked up the white, triangular object, turning it over in her hands as she examined it.

"A shark's tooth?" she murmured to herself, confused. She placed it on the nightstand as she picked up the piece of paper and unfolded it, reading the scratchy handwriting of the note silently.

_Found this at the beach, thought you might like it.  
__Sorry for trying to murder you.  
_…_mostly._


	16. Forgiveness

**The Road to Forgiveness**

If there was one positive thing about working dayshift at a bar it was that work was generally pretty slow and gave a person time to think and reflect…provided, of course, that one's co-workers would mind their own business, and Halibel was feeling very thankful that for once they were keeping their mouths shut.

It wasn't that she didn't _like_ Kishiko, Sachi, or Dunc; they were all good people to work with (even if they _were_ human) and they had only her best interests at heart when they were preaching at her to "ditch the psycho," but they didn't know the full story and as such they had no right to tell her what to do.

At least they were leaving her be for the moment and that was a small miracle itself.

Turning her back to the empty bar and leaning against it, Tia began to clean out some of the mugs that would be needed when the "lunch crowd" arrived, as there were plenty of men in Karakura who would skip their actual lunch-break in favor of a beer or two, but her thoughts were elsewhere than the beer and the lecherous human men.

She hadn't managed to talk with Tyn yet, not really; he'd already been dressed and gone by the time she woke up, although he did leave breakfast on the counter for her. Judging by how cold the meal was, she had missed him by about fifteen to twenty minutes and she didn't need Ulquiorra's unerring logic to tell her that Tyn was avoiding her.

At least the landlord and the maintenance crew had caught her before she'd left for work this morning, saying they were going to start on the repairs to the unit today and that small piece of good news had salvaged her flagging mood somewhat.

She sat down the now-clean mug and opted to pick up the shark's tooth dangling from her neck, looking at it closely; the tooth and the breakfast this morning were the only indications that Tyn was willing to forgive her on some level and that he might be willing to talk soon.

Tia had scavenged the black leather cord holding the tooth around her neck from the Lost-and-Found bin in the back of the bar, which was full of unclaimed items customers had lost ranging from jewelry, cell phones, wallets, glasses, shoes… Items unclaimed for more than two weeks were considered up for grabs among the employees and she had taken a beaded necklace from the bin and recycled the cord for her own purposes, tying a little cradle around the base of the tooth before placing the homemade pendant around her neck.

Tyn may have been more in touch with his bestial side than the rest of them but that didn't mean that Halibel hadn't appreciated the tooth.

Although, she would admit that she could have done without his note saying that he was only _mostly _sorry for trying to kill her…

_Mostly…_

She smirked in spite of herself, shaking her head; really, had she expected any less from the Raptor Prince? She knew what he would say about it later, too, about how they were both monsters at heart (even if they didn't actually _have_ hearts), so it would always be impossible for them to be _completely_ apologetic to one another.

Halibel didn't necessarily agree with that sentiment but at the same time she found herself unable to contradict it, either.

She picked up another mug to clean, turning around to look out at the bar…and very nearly dropped the mug in surprise at seeing a semi-familiar dark-sinned woman with amber eyes seated on the stool, patiently waiting for Halibel to turn and notice her presence.

"I'm sorry…" Tia said to the ex-captain, apologizing. "I had no idea you were there."

"Stealth Force." Yoruichi Shihōin reminded her with a grin.

"Right…" said the arrancar, sitting the mug down. "If you're here, I'm guessing you have information about the other night."

"You guess right." said Yoruichi, leaning way over the bar and reach down behind it, fumbling around and looking for something.

It was forbidden for customers to reach behind the bar but Tia waved Dunc off as he started to move in to try and eject the former shinigami.

"Oh, come on, you _do_ have some here somewhere, don't you?" asked Yoruichi, frowning. "No, that's not it…no…not that, either…What kind of a bar _is_ this? No…nope…ah-ha!"

Yoruichi sat back down in her seat, pulling a bottle of warm sake along with her and grinning broadly.

"Say hello to your 'miracle.'" she announced, gesturing to the sake bottle.

"Are you saying that we were saved by _sake_?" asked Halibel, feeling a little confused.

"More or less." said Yoruichi, opening the bottle as Tia handed her a small cup. "I'm sure you remember Rangiku Matsumoto from the battle over Karakura, right?"

"_Fake_ Karakura, but yes, I remember the bimbo Soul Reaper who fought my fracción."

"Well, my little investigation revealed that she was on monitor duty that night and Rangiku likes to drink, _especially_ if the job is too boring."

"So, she was too drunk to notice our presence? Such incompetence would _never_ have been tolerated in Los Noches."

"Funny you should say that…" replied Shihōin with a smirk, fishing out her wallet. "See, Rangiku rarely gets drunk on her own… More often than not, she only gets wasted when she has a drinking partner and it turns out that she _did_ have a drinking partner that night, at least for a couple of hours."

The shinigami pulled a photo from her wallet and looked at it appraisingly.

"It's not the _real_ her, of course; it's her gigai, but I'm pretty sure you know this individual…" she said, laying the photo on the bar for Tia to see.

In it were two people; a man with dark hair and a contented grin standing behind a woman, resting his chin on her shoulder with his arms around her waist, holding her tightly. The woman…gigai or not, there was no mistaking those hazel eyes, green hair, and cheerful grin.

"_Neliel_?" asked Tia, looking back up at Yoruichi. "Neliel is in the Soul Society?"

"Lieutenant of Squad 13 now, actually…" said the other woman, taking the picture back and tucking it safely away into her wallet once more. "Turns out she and Rangiku have become fast friends and the two of them got completely smashed while they were supposed to be watching the monitor stations. If Nel hadn't dropped by that night…"

"Then the shinigami would have probably been sober and we would have been noticed…" finished Halibel, dumbfounded by the entire situation.

"According to my brother, Nel and Rangiku were sitting in the floor drunkenly making beeping noises when he found them and they claimed to be singing along with some kind of weird 'music' that had been playing just a few minutes earlier."

"The monitor stations beeping out the alert that Tyn and I were loose in Karakura…"

"Exactly." said Yoruichi, pouring the last of the bottle into her sake cup. "The 'miracle' you told Kisuke you needed was sake and the 'guardian angel' he suggested was one of your own."

"We never knew what happened to her when she vanished…" said Tia, resting her hands against the bar and leaning on them, "I assumed she left because she couldn't stand the violence and other rumors said Nnoitra had killed her… I never imagined that she fled to the Soul Society, though."

"It's a little more complex than that." said Yoruichi, slapping some money down on the counter to pay for the sake. "But she's alive and well…well, as alive as any of us can actually _be_, anyway…"

"That seemed like a personal photo, not something taken for intel." said Halibel, and Yoruichi nodded.

"The guy behind her? I kinda adopted him as my baby brother a long time ago and as you saw, they're pretty…_close_. I've gotten to know her pretty well myself this past year…she's a nice girl, really." smiled the ex-captain as she stood to leave.

"Thank you, Yoruichi." said Halibel, giving an appreciative nod. "You and Kisuke both, for everything you've done for us."

The shinigami simply smiled and shrugged the thanks off.

"Not a problem; we all make mistakes, right? Besides, this gives me ammo to use against Nel next time she tries to tell me that she doesn't drink." she said, the friendly smile turning into a mischievous grin.

Tia watched the ex-Soul Reaper leave, still musing over everything she'd learned as Kishi came over to stand with her.

"You were talking with her for a long time…she a friend of yours?" she asked.

"Yeah…" Halibel said, allowing herself a small but genuine smile for once, "I think so."

* * *

"So I don't play with the temperature controls and I don't wrap the burger first and then cook it?"

"Nope; keep it set right where it is and wrap the burger when it's done; it's less likely to start another fire that way." Tyn acknowledged, tossing a spatula to himself as he watched Grimmjow try and master the grill without causing another insurance claim, with Starrk watching from his customer-less window, the fire extinguisher sitting within arm's reach just in case.

"This isn't so bad; I can do this shit." announced Grimmjow proudly, spitting on one of the beef patties before dropping a fly he'd pried from the glue-strip on the far wall, pressing the dead insect into the meat with his own spatula.

"See? It's easy." Tyn agreed. "Now if I'm ever out again, you can work the grill."

"And Ulquiorra can scrub the toilets." said Grimmjow with a grin, although everyone knew _that_ would never happen. Still, the image of the _cuarto_ covered in grime as he labored at scrubbing dried feces from and piss stains from the toilets in the back with a toothbrush brought an evil smile to the _sexta's_ face, forcing him to chuckle darkly.

"Ulquiorra would call in those two idiots from the nightshift rather than clean the bathroom himself, idiot." said Starrk, putting an end to Grimmjow's happy fantasy.

"Then maybe we should make _you_ scrub the fucking shit!" snapped Grimmjow bitterly, leveling his spatula at Starrk as if it were a weapon. "Might fix that fucking better-than-you attitude you've had lately!"

"I only have an attitude with _you_." Starrk said coolly, feeling neither impressed or intimidated with Grimmjow's threats. "How is it that the rest of us are slowly integrating into human society while _you_ remain an overly-aggressive, psychotic thug?"

"_Me_? Hey, I'm not the idiot who used his Soul Candy and tried to destroy the town!"

"Not _yet_." said Starrk as Ulquiorra came out of the office, effectively ending the conversation with his presence as he gazed out at the empty dining room.

"We're not scaring off the customers, before you say one goddamned word." said Grimmjow. "Just a slow fucking day."

"I just finished speaking with Urahara over the telephone…" said the pale man, ignoring Grimmjow completely. "It would seem that good fortune is with us; the Soul Society did _not_ notice your reckless behavior the other night."

"Fortune favors the stupid." said Grimmjow, smiling cruelly at Tyn.

"And yet somehow, _you're_ still dirt-poor and manage to lose every fight you get into…" observed Starrk dryly, a slight smile forming when he saw Grimmjow twitch and curl his hands into fists.

"Enough." said Ulquiorra, squelching Grimmjow's impending explosion of violence with an emotionless-yet-threatening death glare before it was too late.

"He say anything about _how_ they failed to notice?" asked Tyn.

"It was a long story, although it did reveal a new and interesting fact; Neliel is still alive, and is living in the Seireitei."

"What?" asked Starrk, forgetting about taunting Grimmjow for a moment as he came away from his window. "What happened? How did the shinigami capture her?"

"We can't leave her to them." said Tyn, agitated by the thought of one of their own being held prisoner. "They'll execute her just for _being_ an arrancar. We have to do something, have to save her before-"

"She is there _voluntarily_." Ulquiorra interrupted. "She is now the Lieutenant of Squad 13, apparently."

"Traitor!" spat Grimmjow. "That bitch betrayed us all! We should kill the-"

"She is also responsible for the Seireitei not noticing Tyn and Halibel's fight the other evening." announced Ulquiorra. "She has indirectly saved us all."

"She always was a sweetheart, wasn't she?" asked Tyn, smiling as he shook his head. "Even after all this time, she's _still_ protecting us from ourselves."

"She is unaware of our continued existence, or of saving us." Ulquiorra reminded the group. "Do not count her as an ally just yet; until we know more, we should consider her a possible threat, just like any other shinigami."

"So when she left the Espada, she joined the shinigami?" asked Starrk. "Why didn't we see her during the war? Were they afraid she might turn on them during the battle instead of fighting against us?"

"We did see her; she was the child that followed Kurosaki through the desert and into Los Noches." said Ulquiorra. "From what Urahara explained, the rumor that Nnoitra killed her was partially true; he set a trap for her and during the ambush he managed to crack her mask, damaging it to the point that her reiatsu began to seep from the wound. Her body compensated for the loss of energy by reverting to a smaller child-form."

"Son of a bitch…" said Grimmjow. "I _thought_ that little brat looked familiar."

"I thought perhaps it was Neliel's offspring." admitted the _cuarto_. "That perhaps she had become pregnant and fled Los Noches to protect the child."

"And who would have been the father?" asked Starrk. "Nel was always open and friendly, but I never saw her act like she was interested in anyone in particular."

"Well…" began Tyn, "she _did_ always call Grimmjow a 'cutey-kitty,' didn't she?"

"Yeah, and when I asked if she wanted to hook up, she said that I wasn't _that_ cute." growled Grimmjow bitterly, cheeks flushing as he looked away.

"Wait, you actually _tried_ to ask Nel out once?" asked Tyn before collapsing into the floor in a fit of laughter. "You, with all of your violent and sadistic tendencies, thought that Nel _might_ give you a chance in hell?"

"Hey, fuck you!" snapped the _sexta_, hurling his spatula at the still-laughing Tyn and narrowly missing his head. "She was cute, okay? And it wasn't like I was asking her for a date, you know! I was just seeing if she wanted to be fuck-buddies!"

"You're demented…" said Starrk, "for thinking Nel would go for something as shallow as that, least of all with someone like _you_."

"Shut your fucking mouth, Starrk!" said Grimmjow, turning his fury on the _primera_ now.

"That's enough." said Ulquiorra again, stepping between Starrk and Grimmjow before a fight erupted. "The subject at hand is _not_ Neliel's choices in men, nor is it Grimmjow's questionable ethics in regards to the opposite sex."

"Questionable? Fuck you, too, Ulquiorra; we're _all_ monsters here, you know!"

"The subject…" Ulquiorra continued, ignoring Grimmjow's outburst as the _quinto_ finally picked himself up from the floor and returned to the grill, "is Tyn and Halibel's behavior and the threat it represents to our survival if it is not curbed. Did you two reach an agreeable resolution last night after our departure?"

"…not exactly." mumbled Tyn, his demeanor visibly darkening at the mention of his roommate.

"Don't tell me you two had _another_ fight…" sighed Starrk. "I offered to let you crash at my place."

"We didn't fight." said Tyn, idly pressing an already-overcooked and charred burger into the grill with his spatula. "We just didn't talk. She went to go take a shower, and I went to bed. That's it."

"Talk with her tonight." ordered Ulquiorra.

"Yeah, yeah…" Tyn said. "I will. If nothing else, we gotta figure out what to do about all the broken shit. Maybe we'll go shopping this weekend for a new TV and coffee table."

"Orihime offered to fix everything when we arrived."

"Yeah, and we both said no for a reason; if the landlord came up later to fix the wall and balcony and saw everything all shiny and new after having seen an absolute wreck earlier that morning, it would raise too many questions."

Tyn finally scraped the overcooked burger off the grill and slapped it on a bun before wrapping it and placing it under the heat-lamps to wait for the next customer.

"Besides…" he added after a moment, "it's a pride thing. We didn't want any of you there to see our mess and we didn't want to go through that therapy crap. Both of us would rather work our personal issues out by ourselves."

"Your personal issues ceased being personal the moment you allowed them to risk exposing us as a group." said Ulquiorra as he headed back to the office. "Speak with Halibel tonight or we will come back tomorrow night and let Orihime lead you two in another counseling session.

"Want my advice?" asked Grimmjow, a feral grin on his face.

"Murder isn't an option anymore, so no." said Tyn, chucking another frozen patty onto the grill.

"Neither is asking if she wants to screw like a couple of rabbits." teased Starrk.

"But if _you_ want to ask her that yourself, you go right ahead." added Tyn. "Just let me buy a camera first so I can sell the ensuing mayhem to one of those Funniest Home Videos shows."

"To hell with _both_ of you!" snarled Grimmjow.

"Whatever you say, 'Cutey-Kitty.'" said Starrk with a smirk as he put his headset on to attend to a customer finally.

"Hey, fuck you! I thought she was flirting with me!"

"If you say so, Cutey-Kitty."

* * *

It was the combination of silence and savagery that unnerved Tia the most.

While the hole in the wall had been repaired by maintenance earlier today and the repairs on the balcony had been started, the rest of the apartment was still a mess despite Grimmjow's efforts the other night and still Tyn was still reluctant to speak with her.

She scrubbed the dried blood from the wall, glancing back at her roommate as he finished picking up the remaining scraps of wood, drywall, and glass that littered the apartment.

He hadn't even said anything to her when he'd noticed the tooth worn around her neck and that stung. Had she been wrong after all? Was he not ready to forgive her yet and speak? Was he still angry at her, maybe still wanting to murder her? Maybe it would be best if one of them _did_ move out…

"Fuck!" snarled Tyn, and Halibel turned around from the wall to see him sitting on his knees in front of the couch, clutching his hand as it bled.

She knew that he had been looking for more glass from the coffee table in the rug and under the couch and he'd apparently found a piece the hard way. Tia dropped her sponge to the ground and walked over, pulling him to his feet by his arm and examining the wound.

Insignificant by their standards; it probably hurt now but once the offending shard was removed the gash would be gone entirely tomorrow morning.

Still, it was a chance to grab his attention and maybe force a conversation.

Carefully, she extracted the jagged, wickedly-sharp chunk of bloodied glass from his open palm and dropped it into the garbage can before leading him to the bathroom and washing the open wound in the sink.

"You don't need to do this… I'm perfectly capable of taking care of it myself." he all but growled at her.

"I know I don't _need_ to…" she agreed with him. "I _want_ to."

"Why?" he asked harshly, watching the bloody water spiral down the drain as she turned off the faucet and began to rifle through the cabinets for bandages.

"Because I want you to see that I'm not the psycho bitch you think I am." said Halibel softly, producing a small roll of bandages finally. "Not anymore."

"And _you_ said buying bandages would be a waste of time for us…" she said, clucking her tongue as she wrapped his hand with the stretchy white gauze.

"Is this supposed to be your apology?" he asked her, his tone relaxing.

"An apology, not a full apology." she corrected. "It's hard to make eight months of hell right overnight, isn't it?"

"Very." he agreed as she released his hand finally, allowing him to flex it.

"Don't do that too much for the next few minutes; give the wound time to start to close or you'll just aggravate it."

"I'll be careful." said Tyn, turning and going back out to the living room to finish scouring the carpet for more glass.

"Tyn…" she sighed, irritated that he was trying to avoid conversation again.

"What do you want from me?" he asked finally, turning back to face her. "I gave you the tooth and made you breakfast this morning."

"I want to talk!" she exclaimed. "How is that _not_ clear? We have to sit down and-"

"Why?" he asked. "What's done is done; let's just move on."

"Wait, what?" Tia asked, blinking. "Are you saying everything's fine, just like that? That we forgive and forget?"

"Not exactly… I'm saying that talking about the past will get us nowhere; you said you were sorry and that things will be different now, so let's focus on seeing how that turns out. We don't _need_ to talk it out like a bunch of whiny humans; we had our fight, and now it's over."

"It's not that simple, Tyn…"

"Isn't it? We both said we're sorry, and you promised to stop abusing me. That seems pretty simple to me; it's all this crap about talking that makes it complex."

"You said you were only _mostly_ sorry for trying to kill me." she reminded him.

"Heartless monster from a land of darkness and death here."

"So am I." she countered.

"Then stop trying to be _human_ and talk about it! We agree to no more fighting, right?"

"Right."

"Then what more is there?" he asked. "Let's just take it day by day and see what happens."

"If that's how you feel, why have you been ducking me? Why leave this morning before I got up? Why ignore me for most of tonight?" pressed Halibel.

"Why? Because yes, I _am_ still a little angry. That's not going to magically vanish just because you said you were sorry, and no amount of talking will kill it off; just give it time and that last bit of rage will die on it's own."

"How can you know that? How can you be sure that it won't thrive and grow into something dangerous? Tyn, you're-" asked Tia, her frustration evident in her tone.

"Because it's happened before…" said Tyn abruptly. "Did you think that I wasn't upset when you and the others chased me from Los Noches, trying to catch me and kill me?"

Tia closed her open mouth and went silent at that, listening as guilt begin to knot itself in her stomach once more.

"I felt betrayed…" Tyn continued. "That you and the others were the true traitors, not me. I was trying to make everyone _think _for a minute instead of blindly following Aizen and for my troubles, you all turned against me and tried to murder me."

"You were too fast for us…" offered Halibel. "Your _sonido_ is your greatest strength, and I'm glad that we couldn't catch you."

"I was angry at all of you for a while…hated you, even. I knew you and Starrk and Ulquiorra were just following Aizen's orders and wouldn't have come after me on your own, but that didn't matter at first; the feeling of betrayal hurt too much."

"But you got over it eventually?"

"I came back for you, didn't I?" asked Tyn softly. "You, and the others. The anger dissolved after a few days in the desert, once I managed to cool off."

"You sound less angry with me already…" Tia pointed out, trying not to focus too hard on the way he'd mentioned coming back for her and her obviously-flawed perception that he'd only mentioned the others as an afterthought.

"I do, don't I?" asked Tyn, smirking as he looked down at his still-bandaged left hand and flexed it tentatively, making sure that the bleeding had come to a complete stop as Tia stepped over beside him, watching him work his fingers.

"It'll be just fine…" she assured him gently, offering him what had to be the first non-threatening smile he'd ever seen on her face.

"And so will we."


	17. The Miracle of Change

**The Miracle of Change**

Change.

It was a fact that change was a progressive disorder, a domino effect wherein one change would affect another and another; changing the amount of food one fed an animal, for example, would ultimately change it's lifestyle and behavior, and even change it's life expectancy.

An example that hit more close to home was the concept of taking a creature from one enviroment and placing it within a completely different setting, and observing how it would change and adapt to it's new home.

This led Ulquiorra to a theory that he found quite unsettling, and one that he was unwilling to share with the others.

The genesis for this theory came partially from the facts about change and adaptation, and partially from a quote attributed by a human philosopher.

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

Ulquiorra had found it an interesting and insightful quote, and after a moment's thought, he had seen a variation of it that was much more meaningful to himself and his brethren.

"He who lives with humans might take care lest he thereby become human."

Biologically, of course, they would not, _could not_ become human, despite how closely their faux bodies might emulate human form and condition.

No, it was the mental and emotional aspects of the Espada that were vulnerable, and after having developed his theory, he had begun to recall several instances of the Espada changing their behaviors since moving to the human world.

He supposed the first change they had undergone was his decision to move in with Orihime, inhabiting the spare bedroom that had once belonged to her now-deceased elder brother. It had been an illogical move from the start; many of her closest friends were shinigami, her cooking was far more inhumane than the madness inside Grimmjow's skull, her excessive optimism and cheerfulness was a stark contrast to everything the _cuarto_ had ever known, and he _knew_ she had developed an unhealthy affection for him.

And yet, he had accepted the offer to live with her regardless, despite the fact it was illogical and something he never would have considered for even the slightest moment in Hueco Mundo.

Worse still, he could not find it within himself to regret his decision.

He wasn't alone in changing; over the past few months of living in the human world and working a normal job, Starrk had become more animated and energetic, talkative, and even _responsible_; he had become more like a father figure for Lilynette than the older brother story they used as a cover in front of the humans, and she was doing very well in school as a result of his efforts. More interesting to Ulquiorra was the way Starrk had taken to harassing the _sexta_, mocking him on a daily basis anymore; back in Los Noches, the _primera_ had never displayed even a hint of this kind of behavior, which meant the only logical conclusion was that it was another change brought about by living in human society.

Lilynette had become less-obnoxious in the past few months, and had begun to act like a true human child, with an intense dislike of school (despite how impressive her grades were), a group of friends that she had begun to hang out with, and an interest in soccer.

Halibel had become excessively moody and angry since coming to the human world, although Tyn had assured him earlier that morning that the two of them had finally talked and reached an agreement. Ulquiorra found himself wondering if the _tercera_ would fall back into her old habits from Hueco Mundo now that the anger was gone, or if she would reinvent herself to be someone entirely new.

Tyn Tethis, the Espada's new _quinto_… In many ways, he had remained the same since arriving in Karakura; devoted to the idea of a "pack" and suffering through whatever hardships that came along with it, all while questioning all that was conventional and looking at the world through a rather simplistic and often savage point of view. The logical conclusion was that sharing an apartment with Halibel and dealing with her extreme change in behavior had stunted Tyn's own personal growth, and Ulquiorra couldn't be sure what would become of the _quinto_ now that Halibel was over her rage issues.

Grimmjow had shown change, although not in the direction that any of the others wanted; instead of calming down, he had become more and more confrontational, and there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't attack Tyn or try to do harm to a customer. He had yet to take a swing at Starrk despite the _primera's_ taunting, but it was only a matter of time before that too changed. In fact, the only positive change in Grimmjow's behavior had been in the last month or so, with him gradually becoming more patient and tolerant…with the humans, at least; with Tyn, he was still as short-tempered as ever.

It had been a particularly busy afternoon for Burger World, enough so that Grimmjow had been forced to run a second register since noon and deal with a nonstop stream of customers since just before lunch.

While the crowds were finally dying down and Ulquiorra and Grimmjow rang up the last of the customers inside, the _cuarto_ could see that his blue-haired companion was about to reach his breaking point for the day.

For hours now, every human in Grimmjow's line had been laughing at him; some loudly and openly, some chuckling lightly, and others trying to cover their mouths with their hands to stifle their giggles, and the _sexta_ was becoming furious at it all.

As he rang up the last laughing customer, Grimmjow finally lost it.

"What the hell is so goddamned funny?" he snarled, placing both palms on the countertop and leaning over menacingly, as if he were about to jump over and beat the human to death.

"Your nametag…" said the man, still laughing as he wiped away a tear. "That's just…ahahaha!"

"The fuck is wrong with my name?" asked Grimmjow, tearing the nametag from his red employee shirt and reading it himself in an attempt to see the humor.

_Cutey-Kitty_.

Ulquiorra watched, mildly fascinated as Grimmjow's face turned red with unparalleled rage, redder than his shirt or Tyn's hair, and he began to shake violently.

Everyone knew it had to have been changed before they had opened the door for customers that morning; Grimmjow never came in wearing his shirt or badge and would always change in the dining room shortly before the start of the business day.

"Which one of you fuckers did it?" he demanded as he whirled around, showing the offending badge to Tyn and Starrk. "Who's the slimy little human-wannabe shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker back there who signed his own death warrant?"

Both Tyn and Starrk were shamelessly laughing at the _sexta_ and his rage. His death threat, while unusually colorful this time, was such a common occurrence that no one paid it any mind at all; all the mattered was the nametag declaring to the world that his name was "Cutey-Kitty" and that he'd been wearing it in front of customers all day.

"Nobody, huh? Did the fairy-fucking-godmother switch my tag?" he roared, trembling rage as he tightened his fists so hard that his fingernails began to dig into the gigai's palm, with blood slowly beginning to drip from his clenched fists.

"Take it easy, Cutey-Kitty; we didn't do it." said Starrk, shaking his head and turning back to his window as his laughter finally began to subside.

"It was _you_, wasn't it?" bellowed Grimmjow suddenly, pouncing on the unsuspecting _primera_ and knocking him to the ground before pummeling him with a barrage of punches to his face.

"I've _had_ it with you, Starrk!" he screamed as he continued to rain his bloodied fists down on Coyote Starrk, who was too dumbfounded and dazed to block or fight back at first.

"Get off of me!" ordered the now-bleeding _primera_ as he took his headset and smashed it against the side of Grimmjow's head roughly, knocking the crazed Espada away momentarily.

"Grimmjow, calm down." Tyn said, trying to interject. "If Starrk says we didn't do it, then we didn't do it."

"Then it was _you_!" declared the _sexta_, grabbing a stainless-steel meat tenderizer as he came up from the floor with a wild swing that connected with Tyn's jaw hard and sent the red-haired arrancar spinning to the floor.

"Grimmjow!" barked Ulquiorra as the _sexta_ jumped on top of his dazed enemy and raised the tenderizer for another strike, "That's enough!"

"The hell it is! I'm going to kill these worthless pieces of shit!"

"No, you are not." said Ulquiorra, brazenly walking over and snatching the makeshift-weapon away from Grimmjow before he could swing it down, "Go clean the toilets."

"But-"

"_Now_."

Angrily, Grimmjow stormed off to the back of the restaurant to begin cleaning the bathroom, cursing the entire time as Tyn and Starrk slowly picked themselves up off the ground. Starrk retrieved a napkin and held it to his busted nose to soak up the blood as Tyn rubbed his aching jaw and looked over at his friend.

"You didn't do it, did you?" he asked Starrk after a moment of massaging his almost-broken mandible.

"Of course not. You?" replied Starrk, tossing his stained napkin into the trashcan and grabbing a new one.

"No." admitted Tyn. "How the hell did it happen?"

"Not a clue…" said Starrk. "But that was funny."

"Right up until the point where he kicked our asses, yeah." agreed Tyn sourly as Ulquiorra impassively bent down and retrieved the nametag in question from the floor, taking a long, hard look at it before dumping it in the garbage can.

Change truly was an interesting thing.

After all, he would have _never_ considered doing something so juvenile in Hueco Mundo.

* * *

Shopping was an activity that humans seemed to enjoy, spending their weekends throwing away their hard-earned money in favor of useless baubles and toys that were neither essential or practical. It was apparently a staple of human life to crave the latest items, regardless of how wasteful it was when their current models still functioned perfectly.

Of course, when one's current items were smashed beyond repair courtesy of a life-or-death brawl, shopping suddenly became less of a waste of time.

Halibel stood in Karakura's resident electronics superstore, Better Buy, with Tyn by her side as they looked at new televisions and blu-ray players.

Back in Los Noches, had someone described a television to her, Tia would have called it a pointless machine and refused to own one. Now, though, both she and her roommate had become accustomed to technological wonder and the entertainment value it offered, and going through the last week without a TV had been a miserable and boring experience.

"Hi there! Can I help you two find anything today?" asked a human clad in a blue shirt off to her side, and Halibel turned to look at the pimply-faced teenager smiling broadly at her, showing off the braces on his teeth.

"We need a new television." she stated as if it were painfully obvious, looking away from the disgusting youth. "Our old one had an accident."

"Well, ma'am, we have plenty of models and sizes to choose from; did you have anything specific in mind?"

"Our old one was a twenty-six inch, so-"

"I want this one." said Tyn abruptly, and Tia turned to see him standing in front of a seventy-three inch monster HD television, eyes wide with wonder.

"It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…" he said, completely entranced as he gently stroked the screen. "Picture watching movies on this thing, Tia, and tell me it's not worth it with a straight face."

"It's _not_ worth it." she told him flatly, feeling strangely insulted at him throwing such praise at an inanimate object, "It's too expensive, and way too big for our apartment."

"But-"

"_No_. We'll take a twenty-six."

"How about sixty-five inch?" Tyn asked hopefully, clearly trying to bargain with her.

"Twenty-six." Tia said icily, folding her arms over her chest as if to say the debate was over, despite knowing full well he wouldn't surrender that easily.

"Fifty-five?"

"Thirty-two is the most we need." said Halibel, reluctant to spend the extra money despite also harboring a desire for a larger television.

"Forty-six?" asked Tyn, practically pleading with her. Jesus, how pathetic! What was it with guys and televisions, anyway? Did large, HD images of gratuitous violence tap into some primevil part of their psyche that as a woman she simply couldn't understand?

"Thirty-seven, and that's my final offer; take it, or we're taking home the twenty-six." she said, narrowing her eyes threateningly in an effort to end the argument once and for all.

Tyn took one last, almost-loving look back at the seventy-three inch television before looking back at his roommate sadly.

"Deal." he sighed finally, and Halibel bit back a victory smirk for a brief second.

"I suppose I should take what I can get since you're paying." Tyn added with a shrug, and Halibel's happiness at having won the debate dissipated instantly.

"What do you mean since _I'm_ paying?" she demanded, "_You're_ the one who broke the damn TV in the first place!"

"It was _your_ head!" countered Tyn confrontationally, raising his voice.

"And _who_ decided to shove my head into the TV, moron?" she asked, seething. How dare he try and pin this all on her! It was _his_ stupid fault, not hers!

The human sales associate had turned pale in the last several seconds and was slowly inching away from the bickering pair before Tia shot an arm out and grabbed him by the back of his collar roughly, yanking him back over.

"And where do you think _you're_ going?" she hissed at him.

"I…I don't think I'm really qualified to give you two the 'help' you need…" he said meekly, trembling in fright under her menacing gaze.

"What do you mean by _that_?" thundered Tyn, curling a fist in rage as he growled at both Tia and the hapless human.

This wasn't good; it had been less than a week since their fight, and while things had been relatively peaceful since then, Tia knew that emotions were still running high for both of them, and their tempers were dangerously close to exploding once more.

The good news was that Ulquiorra still had their Soul Candy, which meant the damage wouldn't be city-wide and the potential for loss of human life was greatly reduced. The bad news was that right here in the middle of a store full of expensive electronics would not only get them both arrested, but they would be paying for the damages for many, many years to come.

"We'll split it." she said finally, forcing a smile to try and diffuse the volatile situation. "We're both equally responsible for the damage, so we'll split the price of the television."

There was a tense silence for a moment as Tyn visibly weighed her offer in his mind, with the only sound either of them could hear with their keen ears being the nervous thundering of the teenager's heart as Tia kept an iron grip on his shirt to prevent him from fleeing.

"Fine." said Tyn, eyeing her closely. "What about the blu-ray player?"

"Well, it was _your_ head…" she said slowly, hoping Tyn would pick up on her attempt at a light-hearted jab and allow his anger crack apart into something more relaxed and less dangerous before things turned ugly.

"And _you're_ the one who decided to smash it against my head!" he countered, still growling angrily.

"Tyn…" she sighed, not sure how to get him to calm down short of offering to pay for it all herself after all.

"But I supposed I deserved it for stepping on _Jaws_ during the fight." he said with a smirk, dropping all pretense of being prepared to fight.

Halibel chuckled slightly, partially in amusement, and partially because she was glad to see that they were going to avoid another battle.

She left him to pick out the model, trusting his judgment on television quality more than her own, and went to peruse the blu-ray players in the store; many of their discs had been destroyed during the struggle, though some of their favorites had at least survived.

The destroyed coffee table would need to be replaced as well, although she thought that could wait another week or two as both of them placed a higher priority on a new television.

The damages to the apartment itself had been repaired finally; the hole in Tyn's wall was patched and all that remained was for him to paint his side of the wall back to his jungle motif, Tia's door had been replaced, the balcony and it's railing had been restored and the building maintenance crew had installed the new sliding glass door earlier that afternoon.

She picked up a ticket with the model number that she wanted since the store kept most of their stock locked up in the back and looked up just in time to see Tyn terrorizing the poor human, raising his hands as if he were about ready to throttle the life out of the unfortunate teenager.

Sighing, Halibel headed back over to her roommate before he decided to snap the puny human in half and simply _steal_ a TV.

"Tyn, what the hell is going on over here?" she asked as she neared them.

"O-oh!" said the terrified teenager as he turned to face the blond, "I was just telling your boyfriend here-"

"Roommate!" they both corrected him sharply.

"_Roommate_ that I just remembered we're having a sale today and everything is forty percent off!" he explained, nervously shaking as he looked over at Tyn, and the redhead gave him a toothy grin and nodded in approval.

"I'll just go in the back and grab your merchandise and you can be on your way!" said the human, taking the ticket for the television and the blu-ray player and practically running off to the stockroom. Tia looked her roommate in the eye.

"What did you do?" she asked suspiciously, knowing he was definitely guilty of _something_.

"Aggressive negotiations." he replied with a shrug. "I negotiated a reasonable price, and threatened to get aggressive if he didn't comply."

"Tyn, _why_?" she asked, exasperated. Couldn't he go _anywhere _without causing trouble?

"Monster…" he reminded her with a proud grin as they went up front to the register to wait for the human to come out with their merchandise.

"Is it a good TV, at least?" she asked, shaking her head as she found herself once again unable to argue with his reasoning.

"The best!" he announced happily. "You'll love it. What about the blu-ray?"

"I made sure to get one with an extra-sturdy, reinforced metal casing this time." said Tia with a teasing, almost-malicious grin.

"You're evil." Tyn chided her.

"Monster…" she sang lightly, eliciting a laugh from him which made her own grin change from something that was almost-evil to something more genuine and contented.

It was incredible to her to think that only a few days ago, they had been trying desperately to kill one another, and now they sounded as if they were _almost_ friends. It was such a radical shift from the past eight months that she could scarcely believe it, no matter how many times attempted to understand the how and why of it all.

Truly, change was a miraculous thing.


	18. Morality and the Masquerade

**Morality and Maintaining the Masquerade**

School.

If there was _one_ thing Lilynette really and truly hated about the human world, it was the prison known as school; honestly, who wanted to spend all day sitting in a classroom listening to boring lectures and reading stupid books? If the class took more field trips to go out into the world to learn on location, it would at least be tolerable.

Of course, that was asking entirely too much.

It had been while sitting in class that the question had burned itself into her brain, acid-etched onto the soft, squishy gray matter during a debate on good and evil and what separated the two, on how a seemingly-good leader at the time can be seen as evil in retrospect…

_Are we evil?_

She'd blurted out the question in class without thinking and the teacher had laughed it off and said that no, all of the students were good, but Lilynette hadn't meant the other students at all.

Were the Espada evil? Was she evil?

The teacher didn't know who or what Lilynette truly was and so she could never answer those questions. No, there was only one group of people who could give her the answer and that was the Espada themselves.

School had let out nearly a half-hour ago and rather than go home and start on her stupid "homework" as usual, Lilynette bundled herself up in her coat and trudged towards Burger World, trying to ignore the biting cold of the mid-November winds.

Lilynette imagined that most children ended up asking similar questions at some point in there young lives, but most didn't find themselves in the unenviable position of being an inhuman creature whose primary diet _used_ to be the souls of other creatures, including humans.

Did that make them evil?

She knew beyond all doubt now that Aizen had been evil, but were they evil for having served him?

The restaurant was nearly empty when she arrived, with only a couple of patrons out in the dining room enjoying a late lunch or an early dinner. She could hear Starrk and the others in the kitchen talking, and so Lilynette walked around the counter and into the back, ignoring the signs explicitly stating "Employees Only."

"Turkey-Burgers… Who the fuck came up with this shit?" she heard Grimmjow saying.

"Burger World is a multi-national corporation, Grimmjow, and turkey is a traditional meal this time of the year in America; Burger World capitalizes on this by offering these 'Turkey-Burgers' for the last two weeks of November across all stores." said Ulquiorra.

"This isn't America, though." observed Starrk and Lilynette could see the _cuarto_ nodding in agreement as she came around the corner quietly.

"It caters to Americans who are abroad from their homeland and offers a new option to other customers."

"They taste awful…" Tyn was saying, "And I've actually been trying to cook a _good_ one all day!"

"I do not expect to sell many of them." admitted Ulquiorra.

"I call dibs on whatever doesn't sell." said Grimmjow, grinning. "I have plans for them."

"So long as they are removed from the premises at the end of this promotion, I do not care what you do with them."

"Lilynette!" Starrk exclaimed, finally noticing his 'sister' in the room. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at home!"

"Give it a rest, Starrk." she said, rolling her eyes. "I'm not a baby that needs to go straight home every day and wait for you."

"No, you're just a baby who came here _looking_ for him." teased Grimmjow. Lilynette scowled and kicked the _sexta_ in the shins for his smart remark.

"Shut your stupid mouth, fathead!" she snapped, "I'm here because I have a question for everyone."

"Tell it to the deep-fryer, brat…" growled Grimmjow angrily as he reached for her and Starrk slapped him in the back of the head roughly.

"Touch her, Six, and I _will_ kill you." he warned.

"What do you need?" asked Ulquiorra, trying to distract the other two Espada from giving in to their more violent urges.

"We were talking about good and evil in school today…" she began, "that sometimes someone can _seem_ good and actually be evil and stuff. I know Aizen was evil, but what about us? Are we evil, too? Did serving him make us evil, or were we evil before that?"

"We're not evil." said Starrk quickly. "We were manipulated and misguided, but _never_ evil."

"Speak for yourself, jackass." said Grimmjow as he puffed out his chest with pride. "I'm one hundred percent bad to the bone."

"You don't count." said Starrk icily, pulling Lilynette further away from the other man.

"Good and evil are very subjective terms…" said Ulquiorra thoughtfully. "Seeing someone as good or evil is based on one's own perception; in human history, there is an individual known as Vlad the Impaler who is seen as evil by most of the world, regarded as a monster among men. However, in his home country, he is still regarded as a hero, even centuries after his death, because of the extreme lengths he went to in order to protect his homeland."

"So, we're_ not_ evil, then?" asked a confused Lilynette, scratching her head.

"The answer to that will always depend on who you ask; the shinigami would undoubtedly say we are evil."

"We're not really good, either." said Tyn, scraping what appeared to be dog feces off the bottom of his shoe with his spatula before using it to flip a burger over on it's other side. "We're something in the middle, I guess."

"Starrk, Lilynette and I are best described as Lawful Neutral. You and Halibel are Chaotic Neutral while Grimmjow is Chaotic Evil." said Ulquiorra to the _quinto_, and the others all looked at each other in confusion.

"What the hell does all _that_ mean?" asked Lilynette.

"I think he's calling Grimmjow a psycho." offered Tyn and to his surprise, the _sexta_ nodded in head in agreement rather than lose his temper for once.

"That's what I took from all that crap." Grimmjow agreed, sounding disturbingly proud of it.

"You, Starrk, and myself are not actively 'good guys' in the strictest sense of the term…" said Ulquiorra to the small, child-like arrancar, "but neither are we actively evil; we try and obey the laws of the human world to the best of our abilities. Therefore, I say we are Lawful Neutral."

"And while Tyn and Halibel may not actively set out to do harm or cause disruptions, they still manage to incite chaos and disorder. They follow their own instincts regardless of what may or may not be the right choice." he continued, earning him a nasty glare from the raptor at the grill.

"We're not _that_ bad!" he snapped.

"You two were going to destroy the town to settle a personal squabble." pointed out Grimmjow.

"And _you_ would just destroy the city for fun!" countered Tyn and Grimmjow grinned darkly.

"Not all at once…" he said, his grin growing madder and madder by the second. "I'd stretch it out for a few days…give the army time to show up or something and then destroy _everything_!"

"The only thing keeping Grimmjow from doing such things…" Ulquiorra told Lilynette, casting a quick glance at the _sexta_ with a silent warning not to get any ideas, "is the rest of us; left to his own devices, the carnage-"

"Would be absolutely _epic_!" finished Grimmjow for him, the look on his face suggesting he was fantasizing about it already.

"What are the Soul Reapers, then?" asked Lilynette. "Are they considered good?"

"They're considered stupid." said Grimmjow, scowling. "And weak, and-"

"Lawful Good, mostly." said Ulquiorra, silencing Grimmjow's ranting. "They obey the laws set forth by the Soul Society in order to protect humans, both living and dead from harm, although there are exceptions."

"Where did you learn all of this crap, anyway?" asked Tyn as Starrk turned to his drive-through window to tend to a customer.

"The internet." admitted Ulquiorra. "Orihime's computer has proven itself to be a highly useful tool for gathering information and learning about the human world, although it could do without all the pornographic material that seems to be so prolific online."

"They have sex stuff online?" asked Grimmjow, "Ha, that pervert Nnoitra would have _loved_ a computer!"

Well, there was yet _another_ important question for Lilynette to ask…

"What's sex?"

* * *

Midday at The Oasis was always the most hectic time, save for nights and weekends; there were plenty of people who preferred to spend their lunch breaks drinking beer and sake rather than going somewhere to eat an actual meal. Halibel didn't think she could make the same choice, although since most of her tips for the day came during the lunch rush, she couldn't complain.

It was near the end of lunch, though, and most of the patrons were slowly filtering out the door, reluctantly returning to their jobs, with only a few lingering behind and nursing their beverages slowly.

A human male sitting at one of the small tables closer to the bar caught her eye and smiled broadly at her and Tia forced a polite smile in response; he was a regular now, had been for a few weeks now, and while he never sat at the bar, he always seemed to be looking in her direction.

Great, just what she needed; a useless human admirer.

Social interaction with _some_ humans wasn't necessarily a bad thing; she actually _liked _working with Dunc, Sachi, and Kishiko.

It was other humans that she generally had a problem with.

Sooner or later he would gather up the nerve to come speak to her only to have his hopes ruthlessly shot down, or he would leave a note with his phone number on it that would find it's way to the trash can in short order; Tia just hoped he'd leave a nice tip along with it.

"I've got great news, Tia!" chirped Sachi cheerfully, coming around the bar to fill a couple of mugs before taking them back out to the tables.

"Do tell…" prompted Halibel dryly, keenly aware that Sachi had a vastly different definition of what qualified as 'great news' from her own ideas.

"That guy over there…" whispered the shorter woman conspiratorially as she stepped close to Tia and gestured to the man at the table, "is interested in you and he's _single_."

"…and I care because…?"

"You can't be serious!" exclaimed Sachi, mouth open in shock. "He's cute, looks pretty successful, single, and he _likes_ you!"

"Pass." said Halibel dismissively, turning her back to the table and the man as she began to clean out a mug.

"But I told him I'd talk to you for him because you're shy!"

"I'm _not_ shy." snapped Halibel defensively. "I'm just not interested."

"I thought you said you weren't romantically involved with that psycho roommate of yours or anyone else!"

"I'm not."

"Then why not?" asked Sachi, sounding very confused. "Tia, any _normal_ woman would be excited to have someone like him interested in them!"

Tia stiffened at that, barely suppressing both a twitch and an irritated growl at Sachi's choice of wording in her accusation.

Normal…

God damn it.

The Espada were supposed to be striving to appear normal in the eyes of the humans around them so as to not arouse any suspicion and blend in perfectly. Behavior that was abnormal was dangerous, could compromise their little masquerade and bring down the wrath of the Gotei 13. Their usual instincts and desires had to be either ignored or carefully toned down to acceptable levels, and in some instances, they found themselves forced into doing something decidedly unpleasant all in the name of appearing to be normal.

And now Sachi was telling her that the _normal_ response would be to grant this miserable human a date…

The dark thoughts running through Tia's mind at that moment would have put even Grimmjow's madness to shame.

"Fine…" sighed Halibel, shoulders slumping in defeat.

"You could sound a little more enthusiastic…" said Sachi critically, eyeing the taller blond.

"Sorry…" said Tia, forcing a smile as she lied, "It's just that with all the turmoil between Tyn and myself lately, I'm just not sure I'm ready to start dating at the moment."

"Oh, you poor thing!" said Sachi, hugging her. "I understand, I do, but trust me, _now_ is the best time to start healing! Go out, have a good time, and forget the past few months! See what it's like to be with a _good_ man who's not an abusive lunatic!"

"Tell him I'll meet him here Saturday night, around five, and we'll see how that goes." mumbled Tia, running a hand through her short hair as she sat the now-clean mug down and turned back around.

She watched Sachi scurry off to the table and whisper in the man's ear, noting how his eyes brightened with her words.

_Don't get your hopes up, worm_… she thought disdainfully as she tried to force a smile suggesting that she found the attention flattering. Dinner, perhaps a movie, and that would be it; no second date, no kiss, and certainly no 'action.'

It wasn't that he was unattractive, either; his skin was pleasantly-tanned, his face was quite handsome with alluring dark eyes and a gorgeous white smile, and if his choice in clothing was any indication, yes, he was a fairly successful young gentleman.

No, the problem was the pesky 'human' thing.

A human could never truly understand her: where she'd been, what she'd gone through, what she was capable of, what she truly felt about the world around her, _nothing_. Even if she were to try and explain it to a human and successfully convince them as opposed to leaving them thinking she was completely insane and delusional, they would still never truly comprehend what it meant to be an arrancar trapped in a human shell.

Lost in thought, she never noticed Sachi was back by her side until the smaller woman spoke, adjusting her small, wire-frame glasses as she did so.

"He's asking about Friday instead…says he has to work Saturday evening."

"Fantastic…" Halibel almost growled, mentally noting that Friday meant she would have to leave work, go home to clean up and change clothes, and then drive back down to the bar to meet him. Stupid humans; why couldn't anything ever be simple with them?

"Friday, then. Six o'clock so I have time to go home and get a shower." agreed Tia, and matchmaker Sachi rushed back out to the table to share the 'good' news.

Tia watched impassively as the man smiled more broadly, and Sachi shot the blond a cheesy grin and a thumbs up. Really, the human girl was _far_ more excited than she was.

And now, another problem reared it's ugly head; how the hell would she explain this to Tyn?

It had been almost three weeks since their battle and they had reached a stable understanding of one another, with no fighting and only a few light-hearted insults thrown around, and there was the very distinct possibility that Tyn could view this as a threat to the stability they had built. It wouldn't surprise her for the raptor to consider the human as an unwelcome intrusion into the 'pack' and deal with it in a manner that only his savage mind would consider appropriate.

An image of Kisuke Urahara in his goofy-looking green-and-white striped hat flashed through her mind, wagging his finger disapprovingly at her.

_Nu-uh-uh! Murder is bad, m'kay?_

She just hoped her roommate wouldn't forget that and do something irrational.

Well, it was only Tuesday; she had plenty of time to think of a way to break the news to Tyn gently…


	19. First Date

**First Date**

"What do you _mean_ you have a date?"

Tia winced underneath her roommate's tone as she stood at the bathroom sink, washing her face as he stood in the doorway, watching her and seething in anger. She'd had nearly a week to find a way to break the news to him gently, but somehow time had escaped her and it was now Friday evening, closing in on six o'clock.

"A date, as in I'm going out with a man for dinner tonight." she replied, trying to maintain control of the situation. "Believe me, I'm no happier about the situation than you are."

"Then don't go!" shouted Tyn, his fingers flexing as if he wanted to strangle something or someone. It was, in retrospect, a good thing she agreed to meet her as-of-yet nameless date at The Oasis rather than having him swing by the apartment and risk being murdered by Tyn.

"This is _normal_ human behavior, moron!" she hissed in his face, drawing so close that their noses brushed against each other before backing away slightly. "Humans are _expected_ to go on dates periodically, especially when they're single and someone of the opposite sex shows interest!"

"But…he's _human_!" exclaimed the redhead, clutching handfuls of his crimson hair as if he were about to yank them out.

"…and?"

"Human!" Tyn stated again as if that one word explained everything. "As in, not one of us! Jesus, Tia, if you two do anything, you'll break him in half-"

"And just _what_ are you implying?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him and curling an angry fist out of habit as she supressed the urge to hit him. "Do you honestly think for one second that I'd hop into bed with a _human_? That I'm some slut who drops her panties after a single date?"

"Not at all…" said Tyn defensively, holding his hands up in an almost-submissive gesture to the menacing _tercera_. "I'm just saying that _if_ anything were to happen, you're far, far stronger."

"It won't." said Halibel icily, turning away from him and stalking into her room to finish getting dressed, slamming the door behind her.

"And even if it _did_," she called out after a moment, "it's none of _your_ concern!"

"Why are you being like this?" he asked softly through the door, and Halibel could hear him gently place his palm flat against the wood as he waited for her to answer.

Tia adjusted her blue blouse and sighed, feeling a pang of guilt that she knew shouldn't be there. To Tyn, she knew this was a betrayal, that she was turning to an outsider rather than a member of the 'pack,' and she was also keenly aware that he was, in his own bizarre way, looking out for her.

After all, the ease of which she could accidentally harm or kill a human during intimacy had not escaped her.

Not that she _intended_ for anything to go that far, but as a warrior she had learned to consider all possible outcomes.

"Why are you?" she asked back quietly, going over to the door and placing her own hand against it, mimicking him.

"I just want what's best for you…" Tyn answered slowly, "and a human _isn't _what's best. They're weak, they're fleshy, they're _mortal_, Tia; their world is defined by their stupid hearts and all the irrational thoughts and emotions that come with the damnedable thing."

"You sound jealous." she observed, her voice barely a whisper. Her keen ears heard him stiffen at the accusation on the other side of the door.

"Ridiculous; why would I possibly be jealous?" asked Tyn curtly as he pulled away from the other side of the wooden door finally. "I'm just looking out for the safety of the pack."

"Of course…" said Halibel pleasantly, opening the door and stepping back out into the living room. "How silly of me for thinking otherwise."

"No need to be sarcastic about it." growled the raptor, folding his arms over his chest and turning away from her.

"Don't get so worked up over it; it's just _one_ date, Tyn. I'm meeting him at six and I expect to be home by eight-thirty. Nine, at the latest." said Tia, trying to reassure him. "And afterwards, I'll be able to hide behind the excuse that it just didn't work out and I'm not ready to start dating again for a while."

"Why does it have to be a human?" asked Tyn finally, turning around. "Why not one of us for this little charade?"

"Like you, you mean?"

"No!" he exclaimed quickly, "I mean like Starrk or Ulquiorra or Grimmjow…okay, maybe not Grimmjow, but still you could easily do this little act with one of us and convince your stupid friends that you're normal."

"First off," said Halibel as she put on her coat, "my friends are _not_ stupid; they're just…human."

"That's what I said." Tyn shot back.

"Furthermore, none of you were there at the time and this guy was."

"So? You could have _lied_ and said you were already dating someone!"

"And then they'd have asked to meet him!" explained Tia, "What if I said I was dating Starrk and he refused to go along with it? Or Ulquiorra; you know he'd never go along with such 'nonsense' as pretending to be dating."

"Then what about me?" asked Tyn, sounding vaguely offended and a little hurt that she had neglected to mention him at all.

"They think you're crazy." said Tia, smirking slightly. "And I can't say they're wrong about that, either. But in addition to being crazy, they think you're abusive to me and if I tried to say that we were sleeping together, then I'd have to listen to even _more_ crap about how I should throw you out."

"So it's marginally more okay for a roommate to be abusive than a lover?" asked Tyn dryly, shaking his head. "Human logic at it's finest."

"The point is that what's done is done." she Tia, opening the apartment door and stepping out into the long hallway. "There's nothing to worry about, Tyn; I'll be just fine."

The last thing she saw as she closed the door was Tyn standing in the middle of the living room, looking decidedly like a neglected puppy.

"But what about _me_?" he asked softly.

His only answer was the click of the door latching shut.

* * *

"Most of the girls in my class complain about bras…should I have a bra, Starrk?"

Coyote Starrk rubbed his face as he sat on his couch, wondering why in the hell Lilynette had become so inquisitive in the past few days. He knew human children frequently asked their guardians ridiculous questions, his time at Burger World had taught him that, but he had hoped that Lilynette would be above such behavior.

But then again, nothing was ever easy.

Just a little peace…that's all he wanted; a temporary end to the flood of questions that he had been drowning in for the past few days.

"I don't know…" sighed Starrk, "Ask Tia."

"Maybe I should wait until I have boobs… When will my boobs grow? _Will_ my boobs ever grow?"

Misery, thy name was parenthood.

"Go ask your 'aunt' Tia." said Starrk again. "Do I _look_ like I know any of this stuff?"

"You're supposed to!" snapped Lilynette angrily. "You _made_ me, you know, so you're supposed to know all this crap and answer my questions!"

"Lilynette, I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but I'm _not_ a woman." said Starrk dryly, looking over at the younger arrancar. "I don't know the first thing about boobs and bras, or periods, or how to tell if some guy in your class likes you, or-"

"Stop making it sound like I'm some kind of sissy!" shouted the slender young blonde, standing up on her end of the couch and shaking a small fist at her 'brother' threateningly. "I only ask 'cause a girl is supposed to know this stuff and I don't know any of it!"

"Then go ask Tia." said Starrk again, "Or Orihime; pretty sure one of them can help you."

"Fine!" declared Lilynette, grabbing her coat and putting it on quickly. "Thanks for nothing, Starrk!"

"You're welcome!" he called out sarcastically as she slammed the apartment door behind her.

Starrk sat for a long moment, watching the door handle to see if she'd come back, but there was nothing; she was really going this time… He smiled broadly as he laid back on the couch and stretched out, yawning as he propped his feet up.

"Ahh, peace and quiet at last…"

* * *

Sometimes the best cure for a bad day was binging on comfort food and losing yourself to the sweet, sweet sin that was indulgence. For women, comfort food was generally some form of chocolate or ice cream; for Tyn, it was whatever he could catch.

Slurpee was off-limits, he knew that much; if that stupid animal were to disappear, it would be far too easy for Tia to trace it back to him, and he wasn't anxious for another round of getting his ass kicked over the little neighbor girl's stupid cat.

Fluffykins from the third floor was a different story, however.

The grey-and-black striped furball frequently found his way into the stairwell, which was where Tyn had first noticed him several months ago. Tia rarely took the stairs, so if the cat were to vanish, she'd never know…

He'd taken a long look at the collar and nametag that first time he found the cat, contemplating it. Nothing was like a fresh kill, _nothing_. A soul would be ideal, or barring that, a larger animal like a deer, but trapped in the confines of a city, a predator had to make do with what was available.

The collar was more carefully disposed of this time, tossed from his bedroom window over to the roof of the adjacent building where Halibel would never see it. A small trash bag had been set aside for the fur and bones and any leftovers, all of which would be taken downstairs and dropped in the dumpster before eight-thirty and Tia's return.

For now, though, it was time to enjoy the spoils of the hunt, such as they were.

He stood in the kitchen, holding a hind leg that had been stripped nearly to the bone, chewing slowly and thoughtfully as he savored the fresh meat.

It was just a little after seven o'clock, and he found himself wondering how Tia's date was going; was she miserable yet? Was she prepared to end it early? Surely right about now she was realizing her mistake and seeing that a human was beneath her?

Or was she maybe enjoying it?

He tore off another chunk of meat with a savage bite, throwing his head back and letting it roll down his gullet like a crocodile as he tried to dismiss the idea.

She'd be home soon enough, he was sure of it.

* * *

Stupid Starrk and his uselessness! Why couldn't he answer any of her questions? What did it _matter_ that he wasn't a girl; adults were supposed to know _everything_, weren't they? Ulquiorra seemed to, and he was just the _cuarto_! Shouldn't the _primera_ be smarter?

Lilynette scowled and she stormed down the sidewalk, hands thrust into her coat pockets to stay warm as she made her way to Tia's apartment. It wasn't that she didn't like the _tercera_, but the idea that she was forced to turn to Halibel because Starrk was completely clueless irked her to no end.

Still, this was an excuse to get out and do something; Starrk had refused to leave the apartment this evening after coming home from work and Karin was too sick to hang out and all that translated to a very frustrated and bored Lilynette. Tia and Tyn were more lively, though; maybe they would want to-

Wait, was that Tia?

Lilynette paused outside of a restaurant, a much nicer looking place than Burger World, and pressed her face against the window shamelessly. There was a very familiar-looking blond woman with short hair sitting at a table in the middle of the restaurant, having dinner with some guy with dark hair.

The woman was definitely Tia and the man was definitely _not_ Tyn.

Lilynette pried herself away from the glass window and casually strolled over to the entrance, and as soon as the man doing seating arrangements turned his back to answer a ringing phone, she darted inside and over to Halibel's table, inviting herself to sit down.

Tia stopped mid-laugh from some joke or amusing story that her companion had told her, eyes widening at the sight of the younger girl now sitting at the table.

"Lilynette!" she exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Got bored, ran off and left Starrk for a while." she said dismissively before jerking her thumb over towards the dark-haired man. "Who's this douche-monkey?"

"This is my date, Hiroki."

"Date?" gasped Lilynette, shoving herself away from the table so harshly that she nearly flipped her chair over. "What do you _mean_ date?"

"You sound like Tyn…" sighed Tia, covering her face with her hand in embarassment. "Go home, Lilynette."

The younger arrancar paid Halibel no mind as she stood up from her seat and walked over to the man, squinting her eyes at him and getting up in his face. She raised one hand and carefully poked him in the forehead a couple of times with her index finger before turning back to Tia.

"He's _human_!" she hissed into Halibel's ear.

"I know." replied the Shark Queen dryly.

For his part, Hiroki looked utterly confused as to what the hell was going on.

"This is my niece, Lilynette." Tia lied with a smile, giving the younger female a glare that told her to sit down and shut up or else. "I'm sorry about this, Hiroki…she means well, really; she just wants to spend time with her aunt."

"Oh, I understand." said Hiroki, smiling. "Actually, it's pretty sweet that she went through the trouble of tracking you down; you must mean a lot to her."

Even Lilynette could see he was lying through his teeth about understanding, but Tia just smiled kindly at him and apologized again as she took a small plate that had once held a dinner roll and put some of her fish and rice on it before handing it over to Lilynette.

"In ten years or so, she'll be as beautiful a woman as you are, Tia; hope you'll be ready for the competition." he continued, laying it on excessively-thick

Another lie and Lilynette grit her teeth as she contemplated stabbing the man in the face with a fork. She couldn't _ever_ imagine herself comparing to Halibel and having someone suggest it was a slap in the face, a cruel taunt.

And still, Halibel blushed and thanked him for the compliment as if she were completely enthralled by his good looks and silver-tongue.

The world had gone mad, and it had taken the incomprehensibly-strong number three with it.

* * *

"It's only five more weeks until Christmas! Isn't it _exciting_, Ulquiorra?"

The _cuarto_ looked at the woman clinging to his arm emotionlessly, wondering when she would give up asking him such pointless questions; after spending nearly a year in the human world, Ulquiorra had concluded that he was completely incapable of emotion, _especially_ excitement.

"Oh, don't look at me like that!" said Orihime, frowning. "You can't wait either, and you know it!"

He refused to dignify that with an answer.

"You know how I know?" she continued happily, "Because eight months ago, you'd have been like 'remove yourself from my arm, woman' and then said something about how Christmas is just another ordinary day and getting excited over it is stupid."

"I do _not_ sound like that." said Ulquiorra stiffly, referring to her poor attempt to imitate his voice.

"See?" she giggled, "That's something else; you didn't correct me on exactly what you _would _say!"

"Would you like for me to?"

"No." said Orihime, squeezing his arm tighter. "This is nice just the way it is."

He grunted out a noncommittal agreement as they walked down the sidewalk and Orihime latched onto one of his arms while he carried a large, slender box containing an artificial tree under the other arm. Five weeks, and the woman had insisted they go out and start shopping for decorations and presents early…

Ulquiorra could admit to himself that there was a part of him, a very small part, that wished he could share her enthusiasm, to understand the feeling of excitement and anticipation for the holiday.

Instead there was a void inside him, cold and empty.

He just hoped that his lack of emotion didn't ruin the holiday for her; the last thing he wanted was to drag her down to his level. Orihime was too pure for that, too sweet and uncorrupted, and Ulquiorra wished for her to maintain her sense of innocent joy for as long as possible.

"We should eat while we're out…" Orihime was saying, "We really don't go out and eat together enough."

_Given the alternative, we would eat out every night were it _my_ choice…_ thought Ulquiorra morosely, but he kept his mouth shut.

"How about this place up ahead? It looks nice and-"

"It likely requires a reservation, which we do not have." Ulquiorra interrupted her. "There is another restaurant a block away that may be a better option for tonight."

"Oh, I hope they have red-bean chili paste, just like I make at home!" chirped Orihime.

_Please, for the love of all that is good and decent in this universe, do _not_ let that place have _anything_ with red-bean paste in it…_

Even the almighty Espada were not above silent prayers when faced with desperate situations.

"Ulquiorra, look! Is that Tia? Who's that guy with her? What's Lilynette doing with them?"

Wonderful; now the woman's overactive imagination was going berserk and causing her to see…

Ulquiorra blinked in silent surprise as he realized that Orihime was not simply imagining things and that Halibel was, in fact, coming out of the restaurant ahead with some strange man, with Lilynette following close behind them. Halibel looked up and noticed them for the first time, her face flushing with embarassment and her eyes saying the "oh no" that her mouth refused to as Orihime began to wave at her enthusiastically in greeting.

"Hi Tia!" she sang happily, enveloping the older woman in a friendly hug before the arrancar could protest. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm supposed to be on a date…" she growled as Orihime released her, "but it seems that everyone I know is intent on interrupting it."

Lilynette flashed a broad, mischievous grin at that, puffing her chest out with unabashed pride.

"A date, you say?" asked Ulquiorra, scrutinizing the human male closely, observing how he lightly slipped an arm around Halibel's waist without her reacting violently. "Does Tyn know?"

"Of _course_ he knows." scowled Halibel. "We live together, after all."

"Does he approve?"

"It doesn't matter if he approves or not!" roared Tia angrily. "He's my roommate, _not_ my mate or my boss!"

"I see…" he said as he turned to address the man. "I trust you have a good insurance policy?"

"Ulquiorra!" Halibel admonished, "What the hell kind of question is _that_ supposed to be?"

"A practical one." he answered honestly.

"Don't be silly, Ulquiorra…" said Orihime, giggling nervously as she tried to lighten the dark mood that had settled over the group. "I'm sure Tyn is just fine with Tia going out on the town without him for a change."

"I do not share your optimism," said the _cuarto_ stiffly, "but so long as I still have his Soul Candy, the damage he can do is greatly limited."

"What's he talking about?" the man whispered to Halibel, as if Ulquiorra could not hear him.

"Nothing." said Halibel curtly, glaring at the other Espada as she answered. "Ulquiorra is just babbling; pay him no mind. Orihime, please take Lilynette home while Hiroki and I go out for a few drinks."

Orihime smiled as a way of acknowledgement as Lilynette quickly stepped over beside the teen, sticking her tongue out at Hiroki as she did so. The human, to his credit, managed to force a smile and wish her good night rather than say what was really on his mind and Ulquiorra frowned at the dishonesty being displayed.

The emotionless Espada quickly washed the expression from his face, going back to his trademark mask of stoicism as Hiroki and Halibel wished everyone a good evening and crossed the street, heading for the bar. Ulquiorra glanced down at his watch, noting the time of nine o'clock.

He could only hope that the _quinto_ was coping with this new development maturely.

* * *

Tyn lay on his back on his sleeping pallet in the floor, gazing up at the ceiling through the darkness that permeated his room. The only visible light came from a small sliver of moonlight streaming in through the bedroom window and the soft red glow of his digital clock, and he glanced over at said clock just in time to see it strike ten-thirty.

Ten-thirty, and Tia still wasn't home.

_I expect to be home by eight-thirty. Nine, at the latest…_

Yeah, right.

He'd already decided that if midnight struck and she still wasn't home, he would go looking for her. He didn't expect that she would _need_ him, of course; even without her Soul Candy and trapped inside her gigai, she was still more than a match for any human. Hell, she was more than a match for _several_ humans at once if need be.

All the same, if anything was wrong…

She was probably just caught in traffic, nothing more. A wreck or road construction could easily cause her to run an hour or two late. Hell, she'd probably come in any minute now…

He turned his head back to look up at the ceiling as he waited, reminiscing of days long gone in Los Noches, before he had been branded a traitor and chased away under threat of pain and death.

Most of the ones he'd considered to be part of his original pack were the current members, save that Neliel had disappeared and been replaced by Grimmjow, even though the Panther Lord was a rough fit. Both Neliel and Halibel's fracción had been considered part of the extended pack, and in their absence Orihime had slid into that role, _possibly _with some room remaining for a few others who managed to prove their worth to the group.

There was no room for an _ordinary_ human, least of all a male, and _least_-least of all a male who expressed any interest in Halibel.

It was a public service, a humanitarian gesture, really; with as mercurial as Tia's moods could be, any human trying to get closer to her was risking life and limb. By denying such a man entry into the pack, Tyn protected both him from harm and the pack from being watered-down by the presence of yet-another mortal.

He glanced over at the clock again.

_Eleven-oh-five_.

He sat up and raked his fingers through his short, spiky crimson hair, letting out a long sigh. Where was she? What the hell was taking so long?

Maybe he shouldn't wait until midnight, maybe he had waited long enough. Yes, that was it; if Tia wasn't home by now, something _had _to be wrong and he was obligated to go out and find her-

He paused as his hand touched the doorknob, hearing movement outside in the living room.

Carefully, Tyn took a step backwards away from his door and cocked his head, listening to the sound of Tia entering the apartment and the voice of an unwelcome male following her.

"Thanks for driving me home, Hiroki… I'm really sorry for all the interruptions tonight."

"Don't worry about it; spending time with you was worth any minor inconvienence."

"I enjoyed tonight a lot more than I thought I would…"

"Maybe we could do it again next Friday?"

"Next Friday sounds _great_." said Halibel, and Tyn's keen ears could just barely hear the wet smack of lips on lips shortly before the man said goodbye and the apartment door shut.

The Raptor Prince hissed as if he'd just been burnt, only to bite down on his tongue when he realized that his roommate might possibly hear him.

"Tyn? Are you awake?" Tia called out softly and he could hear her just on the other side of the door. He didn't want to see her, not now, not while he was feeling…_this_.

He watched the doorknob slowly turn, dreading her entrance…and then she released the polished brass doorknob abruptly. Tyn heard her backing away slowly, apparently thinking he was asleep and that it would be best not to disturb him.

Tyn went over to his bedroom window and opened it, leaning outside and letting the cool night air caress his face as he kept a close eye on the ground and the front door to the apartment complex. It was only a couple of minutes before a dark-haired and well-dressed man stepped outside, and Tyn narrowed his eyes at the offending human.

He raised his hand to his mouth and tore open his palm with his teeth, curling his hand just enough to dip the fingers into the warm blood before opening his hand again and holding it outward with fingers splayed-wide, aiming towards the oblivious man and concentrating all his energy and hatred into a single point…

Nothing.

Goddamned _reiatsu_-sealing gigai!

He growled as he withdrew his hand, watching a single drop of blood make the long fall down to earth and splatter itself on the sidewalk as he made a mental note to get his Soul Candy back from Ulquiorra come Monday morning.

_Calm down; it won't last. He's just a human, after all._

Yes, that was it; surely Tia would get over the novelty of dating a human by next Friday, wouldn't she?


	20. Tree Quest

**Tree Quest**

Whoever came up with the stupid idea of artificial trees that had to be assembled branch by branch had just found his way to the top of Grimmjow's "To Kill" list.

He sat in the dining room floor of Burger World, surrounded by dozens of fake green braches of all sizes, staring hatefully at the base of the tree and the long pole in the center that held notches for each branch, wondering why the hell it fell on _him_ to assemble and decorate the stupid "holiday tree."

Holiday tree… That was something else that annoyed him; if the stupid holiday was called Christmas, why did so many people get their panties in a wad when the "holiday tree" was called a "Christmas tree?"

Scowling, he slid a branch into one of the notches at the bottom of the pole, not caring whether or not it was the right length; if Ulquiorra didn't like it then the scrawny bastard could come do it himself!

He bit his tongue as he felt the eyes of the other three on his back, watching him work, trying to fight down the urge to turn around and yell at them all to mind their own goddamned business before he tore their heads off and shoved them into the soda fountain. He could hear them talking, too, but mercifully they weren't talking about him…yet, anyway.

"She's going out with that stupid guy _again_ this week." whined Tyn and Grimmjow could only smirk at the other male's misery as he continued working. "This will be three weeks now! Three!"

"Tell me you're not going to spend all night staring at the door again." asked Starrk and the _sexta_ chuckled darkly to himself at how pathetic the redhead was.

"No… I'm done sulking." declared Tyn. "I'm going to buy a couple of cases of beer, and see if it's possible for us to get drunk."

"That sounds like a horribly self-destructive plan…" observed Ulquiorra.

"Don't care, not changing it."

Grimmjow pushed himself away from the tree for a moment, pausing to examine his work; the bottom set of branches were all set into the supporting pole and they all looked to be _mostly_ the right length.

"I still don't see why I can't just go get a _real_ tree, or buy one from a store that's already assembled…" he grumbled to himself.

"Because this is the tree corporate provided." stated Ulquiorra flatly, showing that he was still observing the _sexta_ closely. "Besides that, if you were allowed to go find a tree by yourself, you would likely steal one from someone's house or yard."

"So? It's the season for giving and shit; they can give me a fucking tree that's already finished!"

"I think we should get Orihime to explain that 'Christmas Spirit' thing to him…" suggested Starrk, ducking as Grimmjow whirled around and hurled the top section of the tree at him like a javelin.

"And I think you should mind your own goddamn business!" roared the blue-haired Espada as the tip of the tree narrowly missed Starrk's head and landed in the deep fryer.

Ulquiorra opted to retrieve the tree instead of berating the _sexta_ but it was too late; the top of the tree had already begun to melt and warp, looking hideously deformed.

"We can't put this up in the dining room…" said Ulquiorra, "It will undoubtedly offend customers."

"Fuck 'em!" said Grimmjow. "I ain't taking this thing down after spending this much time trying to get it assembled!"

"We cannot display this monstrosity." Ulquiorra repeated, holding up the partially melted top for emphasis. "Take it down, Grimmjow, and I will go purchase another tree."

"Not a chance in hell, Four!" snarled Grimmjow, "If I have to put the goddamned thing up and decorate it, then _I'm_ going to go find a new tree while _you_ take this shit down!"

"We can't trust you to go shopping without adult supervision." said Starrk, reaching up and catching the small branch that came hurtling towards his face.

"We kinda need Ulquiorra to run the register and not kill people, though." said Tyn, "We don't have much choice _but_ to send Grimmjow."

"Not true; we can have Grimmjow run the grill while-" began Ulquiorra, but Grimmjow didn't wait to hear the rest of the _cuarto's_ comment before walking and the front door and down the sidewalk. Fuck him, anyway; it wasn't like buying a tree was hard or anything.

The only problem would be finding one that suited his purposes, preferably already-finished and decorated with no assembly required.

He generally didn't like to wear his bright red Burger World employee shirt out in public and would change into it at work and out of it before leaving, but Grimmjow knew that if he had taken the time to try and change before leaving for his tree quest, Ulquiorra would have stopped him.

Stupid number four.

And number one.

And number five.

And fuck it, number three, too.

"And that pint-sized, loud-mouthed brat, too." he growled, shoving his hands in his pockets as he marched along the sidewalk, wishing he had at least taken the time to grab his coat.

He passed several stores with trees on display in the window, pausing each time to consider them all: too big, too skinny, too small, too ugly, too bright… On the plus side, they were already decorated, but he knew that was just for display; any tree he purchased would have to be assembled and decorated later and no store would sell him their display model.

Briefly, Grimmjow considered bursting into WacDonald's and hijacking _their_ already-assembled tree; after all, they stole most of Burger World's customers, so it would have been justified.

Not that the police would see it that way, though.

Fuck them, too.

What asshat came up with the idea of decorating fake trees for a holiday, anyway? And all the red and green decorations and stupid lights! In the long list of human behaviors he would classify as being completely idiotic, this "Christmas" thing had to be in the top five.

Still, Burger World had to have a tree, and Ulquiorra wouldn't get off his case until there was a tree in the dining room, as per corporate wishes.

Maybe a real tree would work; go to the park and take one, maybe 'borrow' one from someone's front yard…

Oh good lord, what was this crap up ahead of him? Had some stupid human actually gone so far as to _dye_ their hair green for this godforsaken holiday? Was there no end to human stupidity? Sure, his hair was blue, but that was _natural_ and he refused to have his gigai's hair be a different, more normal color. But green, that was just…

…was just…

"Neliel?" he asked aloud, surprised.

Indeed, the woman up ahead had turned to go into a store and there was no mistaking that face and those hazel eyes; both her mask and the crimson line across her nose were missing, but there was no mistaking that it was indeed Nel in a gigai.

"Son of a bitch…" Grimmjow breathed, wondering what he should do for a split-second before he saw Neliel reach out and grab a dark-headed man that had been walking with her and pull him into the store. The man protested some, but given how easily he surrendered and how Neliel looked at him…

The _sexta_ felt his non-existent heart breaking.

He ducked into an alleyway, watching the storefront carefully for Nel to re-emerge, reflecting on what he had told the others months ago.

_She was cute, okay? And it wasn't like I was asking her for a date, you know! I was just seeing if she wanted to be fuck-buddies!_

Only two-thirds of the statement had been true; she _was_ cute and he hadn't asked her for a date, but he hadn't really asked her about casual sex, either.

He had asked her to be his mate.

Grimmjow growled to himself as he saw Neliel exit the store with the man that he could only assume to be her chosen mate in tow and he fell into step a few paces behind them as they continued on their shopping trip, oblivious to the Espada stalking them.

He remembered shouting that Nel should be executed as a traitorous bitch when he'd first learned of her joining the Soul Society, but he hadn't meant it; it was misdirection, intended to keep the others from realizing the truth, a truth that had very nearly come out just a short while later when he had revealed that he had approached her once.

Neliel had been kind enough not to laugh at him or mock him, as such cruel behavior wasn't in her nature.

It was in Grimmjow's, however, and therein had been the problem.

"I'm sorry, Grimmy…" she had told him almost apologetically, "You're cute, Grimmy, but I don't love you, not like that…and I can't as long as you remain obsessed with fighting and chaos."

And now, she was apparently with a Soul Reaper…

"I could take that little bastard…" he muttered aloud, images of the shinigami's bloodied, broken corpse lying twisted on the ground flashing through his mind.

But it was those kind of dark thoughts that had turned Neliel away from him in the first place…

God damn it all.

He watched as the male went into a coffee shop as Neliel waited outside, and while he _knew_ the smart move was to stay away from her, Grimmjow just couldn't help himself.

"Hello, Neliel…" he purred into her ear from behind, just as he had done in Hueco Mundo when no one else was present to see.

The ex-Espada yelped in surprised and whirled around, taking a step backwards as she did so and reaching for a zanpaktou that wasn't there. That hurt, but he refused to let it show; besides, after so long, he supposed that she couldn't be blamed for feeling defensive.

"Grimmy?" she asked slowly, clearly not believing her eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought you were dead!"

"Well-" he began, but he shut up as she hugged him excitedly.

"It's so good to see you!" she gushed, "I thought I was the last one left!"

"Ulquiorra's still around. Starrk and the brat, too, and Tyn and Tia." he blurted without thinking as she released him. Neliel's eye's brightened for a moment at the news, clearly happy to know that at least some of her old friends had survived the war.

"That's great!" she exclaimed, "That's wonderful! Where are…"

She trailed off suddenly and took a step backwards, her expression becoming more serious as she regarded Grimmjow once more.

"What are you all doing in Karakura?" she asked warily as she remembered her current position as a shinigami, reaching a hand in her pocket for her Soul Candy. "If you and the others are still trying to carry out Aizen's wishes, I will-"

"Fuck Aizen!" snapped Grimmjow bitterly. "We don't serve him anymore or anyone else! We live for _us_ now, everyone else be damned! Been here for almost a year now, since we 'died' in the war."

"And you haven't killed anyone? Haven't eaten any souls?" she asked suspiciously.

"If we had, wouldn't your stupid monitor stations in the Seireitei have picked us up by now?"

"I suppose so…" said Nel, relaxing once more and smiling at her old friend. "How did you all survive?"

"Long story and I don't think there's time to tell it." said Grimmjow, jerking his head towards the coffee shop door. "I saw that you have…_company_."

"An won't do anything _too_ rash." Nel promised. "He's a good man, despite Captain Zaraki's insane influence."

"Yeah, well, I don't want nothing to do with Soul Reapers, anyway." said Grimmjow sourly and Neliel looked away, seeming hurt by his words.

"Technically, I guess I'm a Soul Reaper now…" she said slowly, "I'm the Lieutenant of Squad 13."

"You're different." said Grimmjow hastily and he knew he had just betrayed too much of himself to the former _Tres_ Espada, but he couldn't make himself care. "You're one of us first…hell, you _belong_ with us."

"You mean with _you_, don't you?" she asked quietly.

"Don't flatter yourself, woman!" snarled Grimmjow but his voice lacked it's usual venom and they both recognized it.

"Grimmy…" she said, smiling affectionately as she raked her fingers through his hair as if she were petting him, just like she used to in Hueco Mundo, "I belong with _them_ more than I ever did the Espada. All the things we did under Aizen…they were wrong, immoral, and often evil. Every night before I went to bed, I would look back at the day and feel either ashamed, or on a good day, empty."

"We don't serve Aizen anymore!" Grimmjow protested, but Neliel put a finger to his lips to silence him.

"With the Soul Reapers, it's the complete opposite; every night when I look back at the day, I feel _proud_ of what I've accomplished. I've saved lives and souls, I've helped train the squad to save lives and souls… Grimmjow, I'm doing good with the Soul Society, and I _like_ it. It's so much more fulfilling than what we did under Aizen."

"But-"

"And I _know_ you said you don't serve Aizen anymore… I'm so happy that you're all doing well and I understand that you just want to live for yourselves now…but that's not me. Grimmy, I _want_ to keep helping people."

"God damn your conscience." he growled bitterly as she finally removed her finger, but Neliel only laughed lightly.

"An says I'm the only hollow with a heart…" she smiled, "that I'm one of a kind."

"I can take him, you know." blurted Grimmjow again and Nel just chuckled.

"In a lot of ways, you're still the same cutey-kitty you were in Los Noches…I've actually missed that about you." she admitted before adding, "But no, you couldn't; I doubt Tyn would be able to, either."

"Fuck that! I could kick _both_ their asses!" bellowed Grimmjow.

"Kick who's asses?" asked a voice and Grimmjow turned his head slightly to see the dark-haired stranger now standing beside Nel once more and handing her a cup of what smelled like hot chocolate.

"It's nothing, An…" said Nel, smiling at him and thanking him for the warm drink.

"Friend of yours?" he asked her, eyeing Grimmjow carefully.

"Yeah…" she admitted slowly, unwilling to lie. "An old friend."

"I see…" he said, his blue eyes darkening as he realized that 'old friend' translated to arrancar. "Blue hair… If I remember correctly, that makes this Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Aizen's number six Espada."

"What of it, shinigami?" sneered Grimmjow defiantly. "If you want a fight, I'll-"

"Hush, Grimmy." said Nel quickly before turning back to her mate. "An, please, forget about this; he's trying to live in Karakura in peace, he's _not_ one of the Espada anymore…he's changed, just like me."

"You know we're supposed to take him in and let Central 46 and the Head-Captain decide that, Lieutenant…" said the man slowly and Grimmjow gathered by his tone that he wasn't just Neliel's mate, but also her superior.

Great, just what he _didn't_ need; a shinigami captain.

"An, please…for me." she pleaded, and Grimmjow reached back into his pockets for his Soul Candy just in case worse came to worst as the Soul Reaper was clearly torn between doing his duty and honoring Neliel's request.

"This never happened." he said finally, "I never saw him. Far as I know, the Espada known as Grimmjow is dead."

"Thanks, honey!" sang Nel cheerfully as she kissed him, and Grimmjow bit back another jealous growl.

"Thanks, I guess…" he managed to mumble aloud and Nel smiled brightly at him as the Soul Reaper merely nodded before taking a drink from his own cup, coffee strong and black by the smell of it.

"You should go, Grimmy; we're supposed to meet up with a few other friends today and I don't know that they'll keep quiet about you…" said Nel, hugging him goodbye. "Maybe one day I can come back and catch up with you and the others."

"Others?" echoed the Soul Reaper, looking suspicious once more.

"An…" Nel said, pushing her lower lip out and pouting.

"I heard nothing…" he sighed in defeat.

Nel grinned and wrapped her arms around the man affectionately as Grimmjow turned to leave.

"Yeah, maybe…" said Grimmjow to her over his shoulder. "Take care of yourself Nel."

"I will! Tell Ulqui-kun, Feathers, and everyone else that I said hello! Oh, but don't tell him I called him Ulqui-kun; he never liked that name!"

Grimmjow gave a non-committal grunt as he kept walking, refusing to turn around and watch Neliel walk off with another guy. Stupid shinigami always ruined _everything_!

He tried to focus his mind back on find a replacement tree for Burger World but his thoughts kept drifting back to Hueco Mundo and Neliel. It was one of the precious few times he'd ever given up without a fight and now the regret from that was gnawing away at him.

_If only…_

"She wouldn't have been happy with me, anyway…" he admitted to himself angrily. "Not her type…never was."

Didn't make it hurt any less, though.

He gave up on consciously walking and opted to let his feet carry him wherever they wanted as he lost himself in his thoughts, realizing that he now had something very important to do when he got back to Burger World, something more important than the damnedable tree.

The tree…god damn it, he _still_ hadn't found a tree!

Grimmjow looked up and realized that he was in a residential district full of small homes, and one of the homes across the street had left the blinds open on the window, revealing a beautifully decorated tree standing in the middle of the living room.

Drawn to the window, Grimmjow crossed the street and pressed his hands against the glass as he peered inside, examining the tree.

It was _perfect_; the right size, shape, color, and it was already assembled and decorated. The only problem was that it belonged to someone else.

He glanced around, making sure that no one was present; not a soul stirred, and he assumed that meant most everyone in the neighborhood had already left for their jobs and school. A vicious grin crossed his face as he walked over to the front door and using his still-inhuman strength despite the gigai's limitations, kicked the door open, shattering the frame around the lock.

He paused, listening for an alarm or movement inside the house, but there was nothing.

Grimmjow sauntered into the living room, rubbing his chin appraisingly as he looked over the tree once more; it was perfect now, yes, but how was he going to transport it without taking it apart or losing any ornaments?

Time to check the house.

He nosed through a few closets, stumbling upon a black leather jacket. He pulled it out and looked it over, noting that while it wouldn't help move the tree, it _would_ help keep him warm.

Shrugging, Grimmjow slid the jacket on and headed out into the small garage, where he found a blue tarp thrown over a lawnmower.

"Yeah, this'll work…" he said to himself as he removed the tarp and grabbed a small roll of twine from a shelf before heading back inside to secure his prize.

He laid the tarp out on the living room floor, and unplugged the tree's lights before carefully laying it down and rolling it up in the tarp, cinching it closed with the twine. The lumpy mess looked more like it was concealing a corpse than a tree, but so long as it got the job done, he didn't care; it was the perfect tree, no assembly required.

And he'd even gotten a new jacket out of the deal.

Hell, maybe this wasn't such a bad day after all.

Whistling to himself, Grimmjow carefully pulled the tree out through the front door and shut the door behind him as best he could before shouldering the blue tarp-covered tree and marching back to Burger World proudly. There were a few stares as he walked through town, but he ignored them; fuck 'em! Hadn't these morons ever seen someone go tree shopping before?

"Grimmjow, what is that?" asked Ulquiorra suspiciously as soon as he walked in, and Grimmjow's almost-good mood evaporated instantly.

"It's a _tree_, asshole!" he snapped. "What the fuck else would it be?"

"A body, knowing you." said Starrk from the window, and Grimmjow had to stop himself before he hurled the tree at the _primera_ again.

"What about the jacket?" asked Tyn, looking out from the kitchen.

"Got cold, so I stopped by my apartment and grabbed it." he lied as he began to unwrap the disheveled tree, sitting it up in the corner and straightening the branches out some before replacing the ornaments that had come loose in the tarp.

"I am not aware of any stores that sell pre-assembled and decorated trees…" observed Ulquiorra.

"Hey, most of them will sell you the display model if you offer a little extra." said Grimmjow. "The hard part was finding one that wasn't too goddamned gay-looking."

He had a feeling Ulquiorra wasn't convinced of his story but so long as the _cuarto_ didn't push the issue, he didn't care.

Finished straightening up the tree, Grimmjow plugged in the lights and stepped back, grinning smugly as the few customers in the restaurant began to 'ooh' and 'ahh' over it.

"It is…acceptable." said Ulquiorra finally, going back to working the register without another word on the subject and Grimmjow shot him the finger bitterly. Stupid, stuck-up pasty-faced son of a bitch…

He marched into the back and deposited his new jacket in the manager's office along with his other jacket before coming back out to the kitchen, going over to the grill to take care of that one last, important piece of business. He stepped up beside the _quinto_ and looked around conspiratorially, making sure the other two Espada weren't listening to them.

"Listen up and listen good, jackass, cause I'm only going to say this _once_…" he hissed at the raptor, "Don't make the same mistake I did; don't give up on her without a fight."

"What the hell are you babbling about?" asked Tyn, blinking in confusion.

"Nel…Tia… It's almost the same goddamned thing all over again! Don't give up on her without a fight and for fuck's sake, _tell her_!"

"Grimmjow-"

"And if you breathe a word of this to _anyone_, I'll rip your fucking lungs out!"


	21. tis the Season

**'tis the Season…for Drinking**

Sometimes joy can be found in the most unexpected of places.

It can be an old memento, a fragment from one's lost childhood, a simple acknowledgement of one's accomplishments, or even something as frivolous as food. Joy can come in the form of a pet, a friend, a phone call.

Joy, surprisingly enough, could even come in the form of a human.

Halibel mused on that fact as the elevator began it's ascent to the tenth floor, on how she had initially refused to have anything to do with a mortal man. She'd never expected to have enjoyed Hiroki's company or that she'd find herself looking forward to another date with him.

For all the fuss she had made at first, he had proven himself to be something…special. He was intelligent, handsome, had a yearly salary that was about what she and Tyn earned _combined_, and he was so polite! Hiroki didn't spew idiotic questions from his mouth like Tyn, nor was he as vulgar and crass as Grimmjow, or as dreadfully boring as Ulquiorra, and he took everything in stride just as calmly as Starrk.

A smile graced her lips as she exited the elevator and made her way down the hall to her apartment; Hiroki would be by to pick her up in about an hour, and human or not, she couldn't wait to see him.

She stepped into the empty apartment, locking the door behind her as she headed straight for the bathroom to warm the shower, shedding clothes as she went. Tyn would be late getting home this evening, so there was no danger of him walking in on her in such a state of undress, and she relished the freedom. She turned on the hot water and closed the bathroom door as she headed to the kitchen for a drink, waiting for the shower to be a virtual steam-bath before she entered.

_Tyn_…

Halibel sighed at the thought of her roommate as she drank down a bottle of water, knowing full well he disapproved of her relationship with Hiroki. Tyn thought that Hiroki was an intruder, a disruption to the stability of the 'pack' that wasn't needed and Tia had been unable to reason with him.

Perhaps, she thought as she made her way back to the now-steamy bathroom, it was simply the timing of it all that was the root of the problem.

For the better part of a year, she and Tyn had lived in utter dysfunction; yelling, screaming, physical and emotional abuse. Looking back, their lives had been a nightmare; he had always dreaded coming home and she had always dreaded seeing him come home.

Things had changed, and they no longer feared or despised one another…but that was less than two months of civility compared against eight months of brutality. They had barely gotten a chance to really _know_ one another in that month and a half, and now someone else had entered the picture…

Yes, she supposed she could certainly see Tyn's concerns.

But what was done was done, and Hiroki was already a part of her life; it was too late to shove him away now and say "I need more time."

_Tyn will simply have to adapt…_ she thought as she allowed the almost-scalding water to cascade down her body. The _quinto_ will have to learn to accept Hiroki's presence and overcome it, and in time, she was sure that Tyn would accept him.

Hell, he had already begun to refer to Orihime as being part of the pack simply because of her relationship with Ulquiorra; there was absolutely _no_ reason why it should be any different with Hiroki.

Tia lathered her short, blond hair thoroughly, massaging her scalp with her fingertips before tilting her head back to let the flowing water rinse the soap out. In time, Hiroki would be ready to know the truth about her, about all of them, and when that day came, surely Tyn would be willing to at least grant him some measure of acceptance.

The first weekend, Tyn had dealt with it better than she had expected; he hadn't stalked them, hadn't tried to murder Hiroki and had in fact been in his room asleep when she returned home. Of course, Tia had never anticipated it being the "first" weekend; rather, she thought it would be a one-time event meant to keep her co-workers off her back.

Maybe that was why Tyn had seemed to handle it so well… Last Friday, though, she had come home to find him sitting in the living room, in the dark, staring at the front door.

She sighed as she shut the water off and grabbed a towel to sponge up the remaining water from her body, shaking her head at the memory. He hadn't said a word to either her or Hiroki; he had simply sat there, staring at them until Hiroki diplomatically said it was probably time for him to go home.

Tia wasn't stupid and neither was Hiroki; she knew that Tyn had been staring at him and thinking about murder and while Hiroki may not have realized just how much harm Tyn was wishing upon him, he had recognized the naked hostility reflecting in the redhead's green eyes.

It shouldn't be that way tonight, at least; Tyn had agreed to find something else to do, something more constructive.

Last night, they had went out and bought some decorations for a Christmas tree, and Tyn had volunteered to go find a tree tonight by himself while she went out with Hiroki. He'd even said he might decorate it without her to pass the time, and while her understanding of Christmas left Tia with the impression that decorating the tree was a task to be shared, she wasn't going to argue so long as it kept him from scaring the hell out of her boyfriend.

Finished drying off, she left the bathroom to go rifling through her closet, trying to find something suitable for the evening. Of course, Hiroki wouldn't care what she wore; she was, according to him, beautiful regardless of her state of dress. She smiled as she picked out a long, black evening dress with a low-cut top; she usually didn't like wearing black because it reminded her of shinigami but she thought Hiroki might appreciate it and she wanted to look good for him.

The void where her heart should be was filled with joy, and of all the bizarre and obscure things it could have come from, it was courtesy of a human.

* * *

"I wonder what he wants all of those stupid things for…" muttered Starrk aloud, hands thrust deep into his coat pockets as he watched Grimmjow leaving Burger World with two and a half large boxes full of leftover Turkey-Burgers.

"It's probably better that we don't know." said Tyn, shaking his head as he zipped his own coat up. The _sexta_ was still the most unpredictable of the group and there was no telling what sort of plan he might have for the foul meat patties.

"Yeah; easier to claim innocence that way, in case the police come around." agreed Starrk. "So, any ideas on where to go?"

"What do I look like, a goddamned map to the city?" growled Tyn. "A store is a store, right?"

"Not all stores sell trees; the little Quickmart down the street doesn't."

"Because it's a _gas_ station. We should try a department store or a nursery."

Starrk had volunteered to go tree shopping with the _quinto_ in order to find a tree for his own apartment; Lilynette had been bothering him about getting one for nearly a week now, and he had planned on having one up and ready to decorate by the time she got home from Karin's house later in the evening.

Of course, Tyn also suspected that the _primera_ was concerned about leaving the raptor to his own devices for too long; he and Ulquiorra had both voiced their objections to Tyn's plans of drinking himself stupid after work, and Starrk likely sought to keep him from doing so.

He was grateful for the concern and the company, of course; he valued time with his pack, and their support…although in truth, he'd rather be at home with Tia right now, bickering over what movie to watch or what to cook for dinner.

He scowled as they walked down the crowded sidewalk, imagining Tia with that damned human. Stupid, weak, fleshy mortal son of a…

"You're thinking about Tia's new beau, aren't you?" asked Starrk abruptly.

"What makes you say that?" asked Tyn, feigning innocence.

"Because you've been growling for the past three minutes and people are starting to stare."

He looked up at the crowd moving around them on the sidewalk, noticing that yes, a few people were staring. He snapped his teeth threateningly at them, but the effect was greatly diminished while in his gigai rather than his _resurrección_ form. Still, most people backed a couple of steps away from him, thinking him to be mentally unstable.

"Have you given the guy a chance?" asked Starrk as they entered a department store. "I mean, maybe he's decent enough. Maybe-"

"He's _human_, Starrk!" bellowed Tyn loudly, his voice carrying through the crowded store and garnering them even more stares. "Human! He's not one of us, will never be one of us-"

"Neither is Orihime, and you accept her." he countered easily as they approached the trees on display.

"This is different…" growled the _quinto_ bitterly. "Tia deserves something more than a human."

"You're jealous, you mean." said Starrk accusingly as he looked over an artificial fir that was painted white to simulate being covered in snow. "Somehow, some way, after all the hell Tia's put you through, you've become attached to her."

"I am not." said Tyn defiantly, pretending to look at a tree that was a dark greenish-black.

"You're a horrible liar." said Starrk, turning away from the white tree and looking at a smaller table-top tree.

"It's not like I lo-" started Tyn, but he bit down on his tongue to keep from finishing, as if the very word was poisonous to speak. "I do not care for her _that_ way."

"Either you got some sort of perverted enjoyment out of the abuse she used to put you through and you're missing it, or you love her. Which is it; are you a masochist, or in love with her?"

"Neither!"

"Ah, well, if that's what you say, I have no choice but to believe you…" said Starrk, heading for the exit to go try another store. "You know, I wonder if she'll let him sleep with her tonight; of course, since you don't love her, that shouldn't bother you, right?"

"He'd freeze his dick off in there if he tried…" said Tyn through clenched teeth as he fell into step with the other Espada as they continued in their search.

"Better him than you, right?" asked Starrk, eyeing his friend carefully.

"If he touches her, I'll-"

"You'll _what_? You're not romantically attached to her, remember?"

Tyn fell silent as he contemplated what he'd do and why he would do it. He wasn't lying; he didn't have any romantic feeling for Tia. After all, lacking a heart made it hard to lo-…

to lo-…

to give a damn about someone in a way that was more than friendly or familial.

Yes, that was a good way to put it.

But that didn't mean he had to like or accept the idea of some filthy human monkey touching his Shark Queen!

"You're growling again…" Starrk pointed out as they entered another store.

"I'm just getting annoyed with how hard it is to find a tree." lied Tyn, although he could tell by the way Starrk looked down his nose at him that the _primera_ wasn't convinced in the slightest.

"It is a little irritating…" Starrk admitted rather than call his friend out for lying as they looked at the pitiful selection of artificial trees. "I think most of these are the same as the last place, just with higher price tags."

"Next store?" asked Tyn

"Next store." agreed Starrk.

They departed the store in silence, with Starrk mercifully not mentioning Tia or what she may be doing with her date right about now. Tyn appreciated the silence, but that didn't stop him from imagining things all on his own.

At least this time he was making a conscious effort to not growl and betray his thoughts.

"Your hands are bleeding." observed Starrk quietly, and Tyn raised his hands up, unclenching his fists and watching the crimson fluid drip down his open palm from the deep gouges carved by his fingernails.

_Then_ he growled.

"You're not going to find any peace until you either admit the truth or kill him." said Starrk as they entered another store and Tyn wiped his bloody hands on his pants.

"The latter isn't really an option, just so you know." added Starrk after a moment's thought.

_Says you_… thought Tyn bitterly, but he kept silent.

There was a larger selection of trees in this store, and while Starrk found himself town between two firs that in Tyn's eyes were virtually identical, the raptor didn't see a single one that he liked. Stupid humans and their stupid holidays! Why did it have to be some kind of evergreen? Was it a law or something, or just a silly tradition?

While Starrk debated, Tyn excused himself to explore the store; shopping for trees sucked, humans sucked, this entire stupid _season_ sucked…

He found his way over to the home décor section of the store and rows of fake flowers and ferns not too dissimilar from the ones he kept in his room. None of these were exactly Christmas tree material and in truth, weren't even trees at all. Ugh, he didn't want to have to settle for one of the boring trees!

He turned a corner, looking down one last aisle before giving up and he spied his salvation.

_Perfect_.

Tyn grabbed his prize and marched back to the Christmas department, where Starrk was waiting with a box containing his and Lilynette's tree. The _primera_ looked at Tyn as if he were crazy as he approached, eyeing Tyn's selection up and down critically.

"Tyn, that's not really a-"

"Don't care; I like it, and that's all that matters."

"And when Tia decides that she disagrees…?"

"Then she should have cancelled her date and went shopping with me!" snapped Tyn, heading up front for the register, this time with Starrk falling in behind him.

"Let's just hope she doesn't decide to beat you to death with it."

* * *

It was almost ten o'clock and Tia _still_ wasn't home.

Tyn had expected as much after the past two weeks, of course; if history were any indication, she wouldn't be home before eleven at the earliest, midnight at the latest. He scowled as he turned up the brown bottle and drained the last of the now-warm beer down his throat. He looked at the empty container mournfully before tossing it to the trash can in the kitchen.

He frowned when he missed and the bottle shattered against the wall, just a little left of the can. That had never happened before; the stupid can must have moved!

"I'll finish you later…" he hiccupped to the tree in the corner beside the balcony door before stumbling his way over to the kitchen.

He'd gotten home from tree shopping nearly two hours ago, after stopping for a case of beer first, intending to perform his drinking experiment while decorating the tree. Two hours of hardcore drinking, and all he had accomplished was _almost_ finishing the tree; hell, he still didn't feel anything from the beer.

He concluded it was impossible for an arrancar to get drunk while in a gigai, although he was at a loss when it came to explaining how the trash can had dodged on him.

Tyn nudged the innocent-looking plastic container with his foot, keeping an eye on it to see if it moved again. It could be a trap, some sort of device set up by the shinigami…

It remained still.

"Mushta been an earthquake…" he muttered, looking at the smashed bottle and the damp spot on the wall where it had hit. He tried to wipe the beer off the wall with his hands, but that wasn't working so well, prompting him to step closer and use his shirt tail.

He heard the remnants of the bottle crunching under his shoe, but he paid it no mind as he finished wiping the wetness from the wall.

"Good a'shnew…almosht." he slurred, taking a step back to admire his handiwork before retrieving the last beer from the refrigerator.

He made his way back to the living room, taking a long swig from the foul liquid before returning to work on the tree; he'd already wrapped the stupid lights around it, had put a few of the stupid ornaments on it, had hung the stupid artificial icicles, and was now wrapping the stupid blue tinsel around the base of the trunk.

"Shtupid tree…" he said as he slowly wrapped the metallic blue tinsel around the trunk. "Shtupid Christmas… Shtupid Tia, too!"

No, that wasn't right…she wasn't stupid.

The human was stupid.

Stupid human!

"Shtupid me, too, for not killin' him." said Tyn, finishing with the tinsel and staggering backwards as he took another long drink from the bottle before pulling it back to look at it angrily. "Shtupid beer, too! I don't feel nothin!"

He failed to see how Neliel had supposedly managed to get drunk in the Seireitei unless sake was made of far stronger stuff or she simply had no tolerance whatsoever.

Tyn tried to take another careful step backward to examine the tree and stumbled on the suddenly-uneven floor, catching himself against the wall roughly.

"Big earthquake…" he muttered, taking another drink.

The safest place to be during an earthquake, he thought, was lying on the couch so as to not fall down and hurt himself. It made perfect sense; he'd just go sit on the couch for a little while until the room stopped swaying. He carefully staggered his way over to the couch, narrowly avoiding falling on the new coffee table thanks to the constantly-shifting room and collapsed into the cushions heavily.

He had been aiming for his traditional end of the couch, but the couch must have slid from the earthquake and he missed, landing in the center cushion, in No Man's Land.

Fuck it; Tia wasn't there anyway, so it didn't matter.

He took another swing from the bottle, emptying it before dropping it to the floor, and still the room was tilting back and forth unevenly, making the prospect of heading to his room and going to bed a daunting idea.

No, the best course of action right now would be to lay back on the couch and take a light nap while he waited for the room to stop moving. He'd be up and out of the way long before Tia got home, he was sure of it.

* * *

It was nearly one when Tia and Hiroki stepped off the elevator, her arms wrapped tightly around his as he walked her to her door like the gentleman he was. It was a perfect end to a perfect night; dinner, a movie, drinks, and him shamelessly complimenting her on her beauty and intelligence.

She only hoped Tyn wouldn't be sitting on the couch watching the door again this week.

"I'm not sure I should come in…" said Hiroki slowly as Tia fumbled with the lock, "not after last week. I really think he doesn't like me."

"Tyn will behave." she promised him, knowing that the _quinto_ would control his more-violent urges rather than risk her wrath. "He's supposed to be putting up the tree…"

She opened the door, silently praying that Tyn wouldn't be sitting up and waiting…

Thankfully the living room seemed devoid of her eccentric roommate and Halibel breathed a quiet sigh of relief as she entered the apartment.

"That's an…_unusual_ Christmas tree…" said Hiroki dryly, and Tia followed his eyes to the tree in question in the corner of the room. It was brightly lit and colorfully-decorated, even if it was very non-traditional.

"Well, I _did_ leave it up to him to find a tree and it's very…_him_. It's a very-Tyn tree." she admitted.

"It's a Palm tree, Tia." sighed Hiroki. "What kind of idiot uses a Palm tree for Christmas?"

Halibel stiffened at his words, suppressing an angry growl; it was the first mistake Hiroki had ever made and she had to be lenient.

"Don't call him that. _Ever_." she warned, her voice taking an almost-threatening tone as she glared daggers at her new boyfriend. "He's not an idiot."

It was a lie; everyone that actually _knew_ Tyn knew he was an idiot. Still, she refused to allow anyone other than herself to call him that; he was _her_ idiot, damn it, and _no one_, least of all someone from outside the pack, was allowed to call him such!

"I'm sorry." Hiroki said quickly, backpedaling. "it's just that it's not normal, you know?"

_Normal…_

Oh, how she _hated_ that damned word.

It was imperative for the Espada to act normal, to draw as little attention to themselves as possible in order to keep the masquerade going. It was why they had normal jobs, why she had started going out with a human, why she pretended to like the neighbors…

And now Hiroki was telling her that the tree wasn't normal.

She took a long, hard look at the carefully-decorated and brightly-lit Palm tree in the corner before looking back at Hiroki.

"To Hell with normal; I like it." she said finally.

"I didn't mean… I mean… Look, Tia, I…" stuttered Hiroki, trying to find a way to apologize to her, but she waved it off.

"It's fine…" she said softly. "I know it's different and that's exactly _why_ I like it. Don't you ever find normal to be boring?"

"Sometimes…" he admitted slowly, taking another glance at the tree and Tia noticed the disapproval in his eyes.

She was disappointed, but she reminded herself that no one was perfect, least of all a human. They could work through it later, but it would probably be best to call it a night and send him on his way.

"Good night, Hiroki." she said softly, kissing him once and opening the door for him. "I'll see you next Friday?"

"Of course!" he said, stepping out into the hall. He opened his mouth as if he had something else to say, but Tia was already in the process of shutting the door and couldn't be bothered to stop.

Just because they could work through it all later didn't mean she had to let go of her irritation just yet.

She shook her head, still disappointed with how things had turned out and headed to her bedroom to change. She'd only taken a few steps when her foot collided with something, sending it rolling across the floor. Halibel looked down and saw a beer bottle, then _several_ beer bottles littering the floor.

"What the hell…?" she murmured. A burp sounded behind her and she slowly turned to find Tyn stretched out on the couch, sound asleep.

"Tyn…" she sighed, but he didn't budge. Carefully, she tiptoed over to the couch and his side, hoping to avoid a repeat of the last time he'd woke up to find her standing over him.

He still didn't move, and she reached out and nudged his shoulder.

_That_ got a response.

He started snoring.

"Ugh…" she said, fanning away the scent of his beer-breath for a second before trying to shake him awake once more.

"Come on, stupid…" she said gently, "You can't sleep here. Let's get you to your room."

Still in a drunken stupor, Tyn reached out and grabbed her, pulling her down onto the couch on top of him and wrapping his arms around her.

"Dun go…" he muttered, squeezing her tightly. "Dun leave me. Dun wanna be 'lone again."

"Tyn, what are you babbling about?" she asked, blushing slightly in his embrace before regaining her senses and trying to get free.

"Grimmjow shaid…Grimmjow shaid…" he began, loosening his grip on Halibel and trying to roll over on his side. "Grimmjow shaid tell you shumthin…"

"Tell me what?" asked Tia, finally prying herself from his grip and rolling off the couch, kneeling beside it.

"Tell you…tell you…Grimmjow shaid…"

"What did Grimmjow say to tell me?" she pushed.

"I 'unno…" said Tyn, burying his face into the couch cushion. "He shaid to tell you shumthin'…"

"I don't suppose you'll remember enough of this conversation to try again in the morning when you're sober, will you?"

"Remember what?" he asked slowly, opening his eyes for the first time. "Hey, when you get home?"

"Never mind." said Tia, standing up and trying to pull Tyn to his feet. "Let's just get you to bed and forget tonight ever happened."

"What happen?" he asked, leaning against her heavily as she finally got him off the couch. "If he hurt you, I'll do…I'll do…I'll do _shumthin!_"

"I'm fine; _you're_ the problem." replied Halibel, half-walking and half-dragging the raptor to his room and his waiting sleeping mat.

"What problem?" asked Tyn, turning to look at her through hazy eyes. "Hey, when you get home?"

"You asked that already."

"I did?"

"You're drunk, Tyn."

"Shince when?" he asked as she eased him down to the floor and his sleeping mat, pulling his blanket up for him.

"Since before I got home." said Tia. "Just sleep it off and maybe we can talk in the morning."

"Grimmjow shaid to tell you shumthin'…"

"Talk to me when you remember exactly _what _you're supposed to tell me." said Tia, standing to exit the room. "Good night, Tyn."

But Tyn was already asleep again, snoring loudly as he rolled over on his side to face the wall, and Tia just shook her head as she exited the room and shut the door behind her gently. He was drunk out of his mind and had no idea what he was saying or doing; there was no chance he'd remember any of this come the morning, and that was probably for the best since she really didn't want to hear him apologizing profusely for grabbing her.

She stopped on her way to her own bedroom, looking at the artificial Palm tree and it's joyful, dancing lights over in the corner. Tia thought back to every other Christmas tree she had seen throughout the city and in all the ridiculously-cheerful TV specials that had begun airing, and even to the Christmas tree set up back at The Oasis…

Hiroki was right; it _wasn't _normal, not by a long shot. Still, the sight of the unique tree and it's colorful lights brought a soft smile to her face.

"Fuck normalcy."


	22. Countdown to Christmas

**Countdown to Christmas**

It was the stench he noticed first, a putrid smell that made the stink of the Seireitei's garbage pits seem like a fresh garden by comparison.

Ichigo gagged under the assault on his nose and eyes as he entered the school, cupping his left hand over his nose and mouth like an impromptu gas mask. As if normal Monday mornings weren't bad enough, this time to had to deal with a smell that would make a maggot gag. Even the typically-outrageous Keigo was affected by the smell, being unusually subdued today instead of behaving idiotically.

Although, pulling his shirt up over his face to combat the smell was still pretty stupid looking.

"Did you hear?" he was asking Ichigo excitedly. "Someone broke into the school Friday night!"

_Of course I haven't heard; I spent all weekend working with Squad 9 in the Soul Society_… thought Ichigo, but he kept silent; while Keigo could see spirits, he wasn't aware of the Soul Society or of Ichigo's weekend activities.

"What, someone break in and steal all the AV equipment or something?" he asked instead, removing his hand from his face for just a second to see if he could tolerate the smell yet.

He quickly replaced the hand and shut his eyes, forcing his breakfast back down.

"That's the really weird thing…" Keigo said, "nothing was stolen! No TVs, no computers, nothing!"

"Vandals, then." said Ichigo confidently. "Something in the school was wrecked or spray painted, wasn't it?"

"That's the _other_ weird thing! No sign of vandalism, either!"

"Any other 'weird' things about this break-in you wanna tell me?" asked Ichigo in annoyance. It was kind of hard to figure out a motive when Keigo kept leaving out important bits of information.

"The office got ransacked." Keigo admitted. "I heard there were student files all over the floor."

_That_ sounded decidedly more ominous to Ichigo.

"But why would anyone _care_ about our stupid files?" Keigo was saying, "I mean, that's just boring crap like our grades and all."

"And our locker numbers, and our phone numbers, and our home addresses…" said Ichigo narrowing his eyes. "Sounds like whoever did it was looking for someone specific… Do you know which files were pulled?"

"How would _I_ know?" asked Keigo. "Do I _look_ like some sort of investigative-detective nerd?"

The substitute-shinigami didn't answer his friend's sarcastic question, choosing instead to wonder if he should get involved. It _could_ be nothing more than juvenile delinquency going on, or it could be something more sinister; in Karakura Town, one could never be sure anymore. Maybe he should ask Yoruichi to investigate it, just to be on the safe side…

"Oh, _yuck_!" cried Keigo, his eyes watering. "The smell's even worse over here!"

Ichigo was so caught up in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the strengthening smell until Keigo had mentioned it, and now his own eyes were watering as his breakfast threatened to come up once more.

"Let's get our books and get away from here!" said Keigo, opening his locker quickly and grabbing every book he'd need for the day.

"Yeah, good idea…" said Ichigo, working the combination lock on his locker quickly.

_11-14-5, and…what the hell? It won't open!_

Growling, Ichigo gave up trying to cover his face and grasped the locker's handle with both hands, tugging on it furiously.

"It's jammed!"

"Here, let me help!" said Keigo, grabbing hold of the door with Ichigo and pulling with all his might.

Between the two of them, the stubborn locker door groaned and finally gave way, swinging open…

…and a small avalanche of rotting meat came tumbling out, knocking the two teens to the ground and half-burying them.

Keigo turned green and picked himself up, running to the bathroom as fast as his legs could carry him, but Ichigo was too stunned to move. He sat in the pile of fetid meat, ignoring the laughter of other students ringing in his ears as he struggled to keep his temper in check.

_Who could have done this? Why would someone do this to me? If this is Renji's sick idea of a joke, I swear I'm going to-_

A single strand of brightly-colored hair came fluttering down from inside the locker, and Ichigo shot his hand out, grabbing it quickly. He raised the evidence up, looking at it closely. The blueish color proved Renji was innocent, but it damned someone else.

"I'm going to _kill_ that bastard!"

* * *

"She actually _liked_ the tree?"

"Yeah… Surprised me, too; I thought we were going to end up fighting over it." admitted Tyn as he rubbed a frozen sausage patty across the glue trap on the floor before tossing it on the grill.

"And did you two have a talk about that _other_ thing?" asked Starrk as he rang up a customer at his window.

"Nothing to talk about." said Tyn defiantly. "Told me Saturday morning that I was pretty drunk, though…said I had been babbling a lot."

"About what?"

"Dunno; she didn't say and I don't remember." said Tyn, plucking the partially-cooked and tainted patty from the grill and slapping it on a biscuit before wrapping it up and tossing it to Starrk. "She did say that from now on Grimmjow should relay his own messages to her instead of trying to rely on me, whatever _that _means."

"What message? I ain't got nothing to say to that wench!" snapped Grimmjow as he poured the contents of his mop bucket into the soda fountain. "Bitch must be going crazy."

"Don't call her that." Tyn growled threateningly.

"I'll call the bitch whatever I want!" sneered Grimmjow defiantly. "And I say she's a bitch!"

The _quinto_ dropped his spatula and began stalking towards the other male in anger before Ulquiorra intervened, stepping between the two of them.

"That's enough out of both of you. Return to your station, Tyn; Grimmjow-"

"I swear to God if you tell me to clean the bathroom _one_ more time, I'm going to carve your fucking eyeballs out!"

"Go outside and change the sign to advertise the new 'Brunch' combo."

"You sure that's a good idea?" asked Starrk. "Remember last time we let him change the sign? The police didn't take too kindly to 'Piss Off, Human Pigs.'"

"Shut the fuck up, Starrk! Mind your own goddamned business!"

"Grimmjow…" began Ulquiorra warningly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going…" muttered Grimmjow, disappearing out the door.

"I asked her about her stupid date Saturday…" Tyn began conversationally, leaning against the counter as he looked out the window and watched Grimmjow prop the ladder up against the signpost and begin climbing, "she said everything was great right up until the end. Then she looked all pissed off and said she didn't want to discuss it."

"That's good news for you…" said Starrk, watching the always-angry _sexta_ toss letters down from the sign board, apparently aiming at pedestrians. "If she gets _too_ angry with him, she may end the relationship. Depending on what he did, he may be gone after his next screw-up."

"If he tried anything, I'll _kill_ the son of a bitch!"

"You can't simply go around murdering humans, Tyn, regardless of reason." said Ulquiorra.

"Give me five minutes alone with him, and I'll flay the skin from his bones." promised the _quinto_ darkly, ignoring Ulquiorra's warning.

"If he tried any unwelcome advances, don't you think Halibel would have already killed him?" asked Starrk "Let's face it; she doesn't need you to do her dirty work and she doesn't suffer fools or perverts lightly."

"Still…"

"You know what you need? You need to get out more on Friday nights, to try and forget about her before you drive yourself crazy and do something we'll _all _regret."

"Get out and do what? Find myself a nice _human_ to play with?"

"Might not be a bad idea…" Starrk admitted. "Though I was actually thinking that the Christmas tree shopping wasn't too bad…maybe we should all get together this Friday and do something. I need to find Lilynette something for Christmas and I'm sure Ulquiorra still needs to find something for Orihime…"

"While I agree that Tyn needs to find a healthy activity to keep him occupied, I will _not_ participate in a pointless group endeavor." said Ulquiorra flatly, turning his nose up to show his disdain for the idea.

"I'm pretty sure Orihime would think it's a good idea for us to have a night to hang out…"

"I'm sure she would."

"And you _know_ she'd say it would be good for you to get out, too…"

"Preposterous."

"Tell you what; we'll come by your place after work to tell her all about the idea, and if you can successfully look her in the eye and tell her 'no' when she says you should go with us, then we'll excuse you from participating." said Starrk, grinning ear to ear as the _cuarto_ went deathly silent, narrowing his eyes as he weighed his options.

There was an uneasy silence and for the first time there was a visible crack in Ulquiorra's calm and emotionless facade as he looked very much like a cornered mouse with no way out.

"I will go along with this foolish idea for now." sighed Ulquiorra reluctantly and both of the other men chuckled at him.

"I _knew_ she had you whipped!" laughed Starrk, much to Ulquiorra's discomfort.

Tyn opened his mouth to throw his own jab at the tormented number four, but Ulquiorra quickly spun around and silenced him with a threatening glare.

"One word from you, and I will tell Halibel _everything_." he promised.

"That's fighting dirty…" scowled Tyn sourly, forgetting all about harassing him.

"We're still monsters, even if we are trapped in a human shell." said Ulquiorra, turning back to keep an eye on Grimmjow through the window.

"What about Cutey-Kitty there? We taking him with us?" asked Tyn, following Ulquiorra's gaze out the window.

"We might as well…" sighed the _primera_. "He'll complain and say that he doesn't want to go, but he'd bitch even more if we _didn't_ take him along."

"Christmas Eve is next Saturday…" said Tyn, going back to the grill. "What makes you think you're going to be able to find anything for Lilynette this late, anyway?"

"Gotta try…" said Starrk, adjusting his headset, "Otherwise she's going to be one sad kid come Christmas morning. You should be asking yourself what you're going to get Halibel, you know."

"Soundtrack to _Jaws_, maybe?"

"Sometimes I wonder what goes on inside your head…" said Starrk, shaking his head as he adjusted his headset.

"According to Orihime, Christmas gifts should come from the heart." offered Ulquiorra.

"So, we're all pretty much fucked?"

"It would seem so." agreed the _cuarto_.

"I hate Christmas."

* * *

"How long are you going to leave that _thing_ here? You've left it here for a week now!"

Halibel scowled as she finished pouring a drink, filling the clear mug to the brim with beer before sliding it down the length of the bar to a waiting customer before she turned around to answer Sachi about the item stored in the manager's office.

"I'm taking it home today; I should beat Tyn home this afternoon."

"I don't see _why_ you bothered getting _that_ psycho a Christmas present." said the other woman disapprovingly, and Tia bit her tongue to keep from verbally lashing out at her attitude.

"He's not as bad as you seem to think he is." she growled instead, rolling up her sleeves as she began to clean the countertop.

"If Tia says we've misjudged him, shouldn't we give her the benefit of the doubt?" asked Kishiko, the other day waitress. "She does know him better than we do, after all."

"What else do we need to know?" demanded Sachi. "He's an abusive nut job, and she's giving him something like _that_ for a Christmas present? Jesus, Tia, he's likely to use it to try and _kill_ you!"

"He won't… We're past all of that." sighed Halibel, thankful that at least Kishiko was willing to trust her. "He's been wanting it for a long time, so giving it to him for Christmas _should_ make him pretty happy… Hell, he might even forget about everything I've put him through this year."

"What _you_ put _him_ through? So as an apology, you give him the means to _really_ hurt you?"

"You have a customer waiting…" Halibel said, nodding at a man sitting at a table in the back. She sighed and began to rub the sides of her head as Sachi finally left to go serve the patron, wishing she could simply _order_ the other women to keep her opinions to herself, but Sachi wasn't one of her _fracción_, and didn't know enough about who Tia truly was to be intimidated into silence.

"It's a nice gesture…" offered Kishiko with a smile. "I'm sure he'll love it, and I can't imagine him _not_ forgiving whatever problems you two had in the past… It must have cost a fortune, though!"

"The clerk wanted seventy-five thousand yen for it…" Tia agreed, nodding.

"Seventy-five thousand? That's _too_ much!"

"Oh, I know, which is why I only paid _twenty_ thousand for it."

"How did you talk him down _that_ much?" asked Kishiko in amazement and Halibel smiled, chuckling as she remembered something Tyn had said once.

"Aggressive negotiations; I negotiated a reasonable price, and threatened to get aggressive if he didn't comply."

"What about Hiroki? Did you get him something as nice?"

"Not yet… I think I know what to give him for Christmas, and it won't cost anything."

"What could…_oh_."

"If he can make it through this coming Friday night without upsetting me, then maybe _next_ Friday…"

"Does your roommate know?" asked Kishiko, and Tia just snorted.

"Not his business. Besides, why should _he _care who I sleep with?"


	23. Santa's Naughty List

**More Names for Santa's Naughty List**

Early mornings at Burger World were, generally, a tranquil experience: there was no Grimmjow, no Tyn, no deep fryer sizzling in the background, no customers, no noise… Aside from having to clean up the mess that the two idiot teenagers from the night shift usually left in their wake, Ulquiorra relished the peace offered by the pre-business hours.

That soothing calm was always shattered as soon as Grimmjow showed up, sometimes by Tyn if he arrived in a surly enough mood. The broken pieces of tranquility were then further crushed and ground to dust underneath the relentless flow of customers, many of whom were impatient and rude and made even the stoic number four wish that he could simply fire a _cero_ at the lot of them and be done with it.

But right here, right now, there was no one to bother him; Tyn would arrive to clock-in within the hour, though, and Grimmjow would likely be only five or ten minutes behind him. Starrk was typically the last to arrive, and strangely enough it wasn't so much because of the _primera_ oversleeping anymore as it was walking his 'baby sister' to school.

Of course, the added knowledge that tonight was Friday and he would be stuck spending the evening with his co-workers and fellow Espada made the current peace so much the better.

The sound of someone beating against the locked door brought a slight frown to Ulquiorra's face as he just finished cleaning the kitchen. It was too early for any of the others to be here, so it was most likely an impatient customer; it never failed that, at least once a week, some fool would obnoxiously batter their fists against the door to get in early because they didn't want to wait for the store to open.

He trudged from the kitchen to the front of the restaurant, prepared to point at the frequently-ignored sign in the window that stated their business hours and inform the human that they were still closed. He wasn't terribly surprised to see the culprit was a teenager, as they were often the most impatient and obnoxious of all the customers and generally didn't care what the sign said because they felt some misguided sense of self-importance and entitlement, but he was surprised to see that this particular teen had very familiar-looking orange hair.

Kurosaki.

"Where is he?" demanded the substitute-shinigami on the other side of the glass as Ulquiorra began to unlock the door.

"What has Grimmjow done _now_?" he asked as he opened the door and Kurosaki stormed inside. Given the teen's anger, the demand of 'where is _he_', and the history between the shinigami and the _sexta_, it was the only logical conclusion.

"He broke into my school, ransacked the office, crammed over a hundred pounds of meat into my locker and left it to rot over the weekend!" seethed the teen.

"So, _that's_ what he wanted the leftover Turkey-Burgers for…" muttered Ulquiorra. "Regardless, he is not here yet; I do not expect him for another thirty minutes, at least."

"Then I'm going to wait right here so I can kick his mangy ass _back_ to Hueco Mundo!"

"Kurosaki, he most likely chose you as a target specifically _because_ he knew this would be your reaction. Grimmjow loves to fight, and as of late he has been unable to incite a brawl with either Tyn or Starrk."

"Mostly because of you stopping it, I'm sure."

"Of course… But if he could provoke you, and then meet up with you off Burger World property…"

"It doesn't matter! He has to _pay_ for what he's done! Do you have any idea how humiliating that was? Do you have any idea how hard it's been to scrub the smell out of my locker? I had to _burn_ the clothes I was wearing!" exclaimed Kurosaki.

"If you give in to your anger and attack him, you will be giving him _exactly_ what he wants. At that point, Grimmjow has already won and nothing you do can change that."

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do? Let it slide?"

"I believe you humans have an expression…something along the lines of 'give him a taste of his own medicine,' I believe." said Ulquiorra, stroking his chin thoughtfully as an idea formed in his head. An almost-evil grin spread itself across the substitute-shinigami's face slowly as he recognized the devious intent reflecting in the pale _cuarto's_ green eyes.

"Yeah? I'm listening…"

* * *

Afternoon and the end of their shift had come too quickly for once, and Grimmjow found himself staring down the road that would lead to his apartment as the four of them instead made their way to Tyn's apartment, where they would all leave red employee uniforms and nametags while they went out to do some late Christmas shopping.

"Why the fuck do _I_ have to go on this stupid little field trip?" growled the _sexta_ bitterly as he tore his gaze away from the street as they neared the downtown complex that Tyn and Tia called home.

"Because if I have to suffer this indignity, so should you." said Ulquiorra emotionlessly from the back of the pack, hands in his pockets. "Besides, according to Orihime, this is a 'healthy' human activity."

"Then why the hell isn't she here, too?"

"She is going shopping tonight with one of her school friends; Tatsuki, the one who from my understanding likes to hit people."

"Sounds like Grimmjow's kind of woman." quipped Starrk with a teasing grin.

"Except that she is much too young for Grimmjow, and considerably more well-behaved." said Ulquiorra, silencing Grimmjow's impending outburst with a death glare reminiscent of their lost days in Los Noches. "At any rate, the two of them will be taking Lilynette along so that she may find something for Starrk."

"Shopping for Dog-Breath over there should be easy enough: a new ball, a rawhide bone, a squeaky toy, maybe a new collar." retorted Grimmjow as they entered the lobby of the apartment complex, grinning maliciously as he waited for the insult to hit home with Starrk and get him riled up and ready to fight.

"I was hoping for a new water dish, personally…" said the _primera_ nonchalantly. "We were thinking about getting you a nice ball of yarn, though. Got a color preference, or should we surprise you?"

The malicious grin degenerated into an angry roar as Grimmjow leapt at Starrk, hands outstretched for his throat.

Starrk easily dodged, stepping to the side and grabbing Grimmjow's right wrist as it sailed by, using the _sexta's_ own momentum against him as he guided the other man into the elevator, smacking his face against the back wall roughly. The enraged _sexta_ struggled to get free, but Starrk put his other hand on the back of his skull and kept his face pinned to the wall tightly.

"If you're not mature enough to handle a joke yourself, you should keep your own mouth shut." he warned before releasing Grimmjow and stepping away. "Like it or not, Grimmjow, we're the closest thing to a family you've ever had…that any of us have ever had. Learn to deal with it, or we'll disown you."

"Do calm down, all of you…" sighed Ulquiorra as the elevator began it's slow ascent to the tenth floor. "The evening will go by decidedly faster for all involved if everyone will keep their tempers in check and pretend to be civil for a few hours."

The elevator dinged as it reached the tenth floor, the stainless steel doors sliding open and allowing the four males to spill into the hallway. Grimmjow was still muttering curses under his breath as Tyn unlocked the apartment door and let everyone inside.

The bathroom door creaked open and Halibel stuck her head out, scowling at the sight of her fellow Espada.

"I had hoped to be gone by the time you all arrived…" she said before retreating back into the bathroom and shutting the door once more. "Hiroki already thinks you hate him, Tyn, and _you_ give him the creeps, Ulquiorra."

"He should absolutely _love_ meeting Grimmjow, then…" said Starrk.

"I _do_ hate him…" grumbled Tyn bitterly as he went to his bedroom to change from his work clothes.

"I am _not_ 'creepy.'" said Ulquiorra stiffly, sounding almost insulted by the accusation.

"Either way, hurry up and leave before he gets here!" hissed Tia, finally exiting the bathroom and heading to her own bedroom to finish getting ready.

"Take it easy…" soothed Starrk as he dropped the sack containing his Burger World clothes in the floor beside the couch. "We'll be gone in no time."

Grimmjow scowled and tossed the small plastic sack with his employee clothes over next to Starrk's before making his way to the kitchen and helping himself to the refrigerator; if he had to be a part of this nonsense, then he was at _least_ going to make himself comfortable. He grabbed the lone beer from the back of the fridge, popping the cap off and taking a long swig from the cool brown bottle.

"It's not too late for you to go with us, you know…" called Tyn as he emerged from his bedroom finally, having shed his Burger World uniform for something more relaxed.

"I'm not cancelling my date, Tyn…" said Tia through the door, "Besides what would I tell him?"

"'Fuck off and die?'" offered the _quinto_.

"Look, I'll make plans for the group of us some other time… Just all of us, no humans. How's that sound?"

Whatever answer Tyn might have had was cut short by a swift knocking at the front door, and all the males turned to look at the door as an audible groan came from Tia's bedroom.

"Great; he's here already…" she sighed. "Look, just let him in and try not to scare him while I finish up."

Grumbling, Tyn opened the door and stepped aside as the human entered. Grimmjow noted the look of surprise on his face when he noticed that there were other people present for once. The _sexta_ bit back a grin behind his brown beer bottle, taking another drink as the human suddenly looked very nervous to be surrounded by so many unfriendly faces.

Even Starrk didn't look too friendly and relaxed this time, with the _primera_ looking the human over thoroughly with a discerning eye.

"He's short." he announced finally. "And a little scrawny."

"You are the tallest of us…" Ulquiorra reminded his companion.

"And he probably hasn't had to go through all the crap we've had to…" said Grimmjow, stepping closer. "Still, it's pretty goddamned sad when someone is scrawnier than _you_, Ulquiorra; this little twerp isn't fit to be the dog shit on a _Gillian's_ boot!"

"So…you must be Tia's friends…" began the human, eyes darting from one disguised Espada to another. "I'm Hiroki; pleased to meet-"

"Who the fuck gave you permission to talk, dipshit?" asked Grimmjow menacingly.

"Grimmjow, shut up!" roared Halibel from her room, "If you don't-"

"What, you want me to pretend like I _respect_ your little pet hum-" began the panther, but Starrk clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle him.

"Easy on the 'human' thing; he doesn't know what we are, and we want to keep it that way." growled Starrk into his ear as Tia emerged from her bedroom in a blue evening dress, taking up position by Hiroki's side and giving the other males a glare that promised excruciatingly painful deaths for them all if they didn't behave.

"You look _great_!" said Hiroki, kissing her cheek and actually making the _tercera_ blush. A deep, menacing growl filled the room, prompting both Starrk and Ulquiorra to put a restraining hand on Tyn's shoulders.

Meanwhile, Grimmjow decided that _now_ would be a good time to play Devil's advocate.

"Go ahead…" he urged Tyn, leaning in close from behind and whispering into his ear conspiratorially, "Tear his head off. All it will take is half a second and a shower of blood, and your competition will be gone… Think about it; she deserves more than a filthy human, doesn't she? Are you just going to let him _steal_ her from you?"

"What are they talking about over there?" Hiroki asked Tia, a bead of cold sweat rolling down the back of his neck as he took a small step backwards away from the other men as if he recognized the potential danger they represented.

"I don't know…" the blond admitted, squeezing his arm. "But don't worry about it, whatever it is; let's just get going and forget about them."

"See ya." said Starrk to Halibel as she and Hiroki exited, though he didn't acknowledge her date in the least.

"Good riddance!" spat Grimmjow, giving up on trying to spur Tyn into action as Ulquiorra acknowledged the duo's departure with a simple nod.

Halibel locked eyes with Tyn for a moment, obviously waiting for him to wish her a pleasant evening, but the raptor stubbornly refused to speak and instead turned his head to look away, nose high in the air in disdain. Tia sighed and shut the door behind her, shaking her head in disappointment.

"I don't like the little weasel." announced Grimmjow after they were gone. "Looks like a slimy two-faced bastard to me, just like Aizen was."

"You don't like anyone." countered Starrk, finally releasing his hold on Tyn's right shoulder as Ulquiorra did the same with the left. "I _guess_ he seems nice enough…not sure it will last, though; she can be a moody one, and humans are pretty fragile."

"I doubt his sincerity…" Ulquiorra added. "Were he sincere about her, he would not allow himself to be so intimidated by our presence. I suspect he questions if she is worth the prospect of being near us ever again."

"Yeah, well, the little shit is gone now. We need to get going, too; hurry up and get this over with." said Grimmjow as Tyn idly wandered away and into Halibel's bedroom. "Hey, she'll _kill _you if she catches you messing with her shit, dumbass!"

"Hate to say it, but he's right." said Starrk, coming over to stand in the doorway as Tyn picked up a necklace with a triangular white tooth hanging from Halibel's dresser.

"She didn't wear it…" he was muttering. "This is the first time she hasn't worn it since…"

He trailed off, not bothering to say since when as he placed it back down and stepped away. Starrk wasn't sure what the significance of the tooth-necklace was, or why it mattered that Halibel hadn't worn it, but he could see that it bothered the _quinto_.

"Forget about it; it is what it is, Tyn. All we can do now is to go out and try and enjoy ourselves tonight. She'll come to her senses sooner or later." he offered as the redhead brushed past him, stepping back into the living room. Ulquiorra handed them both their jackets as Grimmjow stepped out into the hall to wait on them, leaning against the wall.

The four male arrancar had all agreed at the beginning of the month in the pre-business hours of Burger World that they wouldn't bother with exchanging gifts for one another; only Starrk and Lilynette would be exchanging gifts, as would Ulquiorra and Orihime. Grimmjow assumed that Tyn and Tia might exchange presents as well while the _sexta_ himself remained completely exempt from participating.

Had that not been the case, he thought snapping Hiroki's puny neck and tossing his body into the river would have made for a _great_ gift

* * *

"What about these?"

Orihime looked up to see what Lilynette had this time, finding a box with a pair of rollerblades inside. The young arrancar was grinning widely, obviously feeling pretty pleased with her find, and that made it all the harder for Orihime to tell her no.

"Lilynette…" she began, "I don't think Starrk would have much use for rollerblades. He's not…uh…not…"

"Sporty?" offered Tatsuki Arisawa from behind, and Orihime nodded.

"That's it! Starrk's not the 'sporty' type."

"Stupid Starrk; all the cool stuff, and he wouldn't like it!" whined Lilynette, returning the rollerblades back to the department store aisle she'd found them in.

"It's great that you're taking this Starrk guy's kid sister shopping, Orihime…" Tatsuki said, "But really, Christmas isn't _this_ hard. Surely she found him something last year."

"Ah…actually, this is her first Christmas." said Orihime, smiling nervously. "His, too; Christmas wasn't celebrated where they came from."

"Man, where did they live before they came to Karakura, then?"

"Um…" Orihime fumbled for an answer, not having the faintest clue where Starrk might have originally been from in life and knowing she shouldn't mention Hueco Mundo.

"Israel." she said, trying to force a confident smile. Tatsuki didn't look entirely convinced, but she didn't press the issue. God, she _hated_ lying to Tatsuki, but the truth…there was no way she could tell her the truth! Tatsuki had been her best friend for years, and while she had finally learned about the existence of Soul Reapers and had been told some of what happened in Hueco Mundo, that was it; she didn't know that some of the Espada had survived, that Lilynette was an arrancar herself, and she had no clue that Ulquiorra was now living in her house!

That one had been a tough secret to keep, too; anytime Tatsuki came over unexpectedly, Orihime either had to convince her that they needed to go out somewhere, or she had to talk Ulquiorra into hiding in his bedroom with the door shut until her friend left. She hated making him feel like a prisoner as much as she hated lying to Tatsuki, but…well, Tatsuki vividly remembered the pale-faced green-haired man who had referred to her as 'trash' during his first visit to Karakura Town, and how he had so casually given Yammy permission to kill her. She'd mentioned more than once how she'd like to be able to smash both of their faces in if she could ever get half a chance.

Yes, Tatsuki _definitely_ had to be kept in the dark just a bit longer.

"What about this?" asked Lilynette, handing her find over to Orihime for inspection.

"A movie is a good idea, Lilynette, but I don't think Starrk would care for _Avatar_; he seems more like the kind of guy who enjoys westerns." said Orihime, and Lilynette frowned again.

"Christmas is hard!"

"How about a _Cowboy Classics _collection, then?" asked Tatsuki. "My grandpa has a soft spot for westerns, and we got him one of those a few years ago; had a bunch of old John Wayne and Clint Eastwood movies in it, and he really loved it."

The frown left the young arrancar's face, replaced by excitement as she seized Tatsuki's hand and took off running for the DVDs again, dragging the surprised teen along with her. Orihime giggled at first, and Tatsuki managed to shoot her other arm out and grab Orihime's wrist, dragging her along for the ride. Both teens laughed as Lilynette plowed through the store with them in tow, making a beeline for the DVDs and ignoring stares from other customers.

For the first time in years, Orihime felt like everything was shaping up to truly be a merry Christmas.

* * *

"It's official; whoever came up with the idea of 'malls' is more evil than Aizen ever _dreamed_ of being."

"It's not _that_ bad, Grimmjow…" said Starrk as he weaved in and out of the flow of bodies moving about, occasionally being unsuccessful in his attempts to avoid contact as shoulders would brush against his, or a small child would collide with his legs.

"Things will most likely get worse for the next few days…" Ulquiorra predicted, pressing himself up against a store window as a herd of shoppers nearly ran him over. "Too many people are holding out on doing their shopping until the eleventh hour. Better that we're here now than next Friday, the twenty-third."

Grimmjow didn't bother trying to navigate the sea of people carefully; he simply marched ahead, shoving people to the side as he made his way through the crowd.

"I'm not shopping for anyone, so why do _I _have to be here again?" he asked.

"It's a group thing, and you're part of the group." said Starrk, scanning the crowd for the tuft of crimson hair that would tell him where Tyn had disappeared to. Unsurprisingly, even trapped inside of a gigai, the Raptor Prince was _still _swift and nimble enough to dart through the crowds with little difficulty and had quickly vanished into the unending flow of people moving throughout the mall.

"I say we leave him." growled Grimmjow, shoving some unfortunate guy on a cell phone out of his way and into a wall roughly. "This shit ain't worth it."

"Yeah, well, your vote is the minority, Six." said Starrk, still scanning the crowds. "There he is, over there by 'Sports and Imports.'"

"Okay, screw this; you guys follow me and I'll clear a path." declared Grimmjow, knocking mall patrons out of the way as he moved to the front of the pack. "Let's get this crap over with."

For once, neither Ulquiorra or Starrk cared enough to stop him as he forcefully shoved his way through the mob of shoppers, clearing an easy path for the trio all the way to the entrance to Sports and Imports.

"Saw this place, thought you might find something for Lilynette in here…" said Tyn as the group finally caught up to him. "She likes soccer, right? I'm sure there's some soccer stuff in here."

The four entered the store and began browsing, but it quickly became apparent that the store was more for sports clothing rather than gear. It meant they wouldn't find a new soccer ball for Lilynette since she'd already kicked her old one to death, but maybe Starrk could find her something more comfortable to wear when she played.

"The hell are these for?" asked Grimmjow from the Import side of the store, holding up a large blue shirt with white trim, the image of a large cat on the chest.

"These are all imported sports clothing from other countries…" offered a store clerk. "Over there are NFL jerseys from America, as well as some MLB, and the NBA stuff is over-"

"What the fuck is with all the goddamned letters? Besides, I'm asking about _this_, not what's over there or over there!"

"NHL jerseys…" sighed the clerk. "A sport called Hockey. Not big in Japan, but huge in Canada and several European nations…moderate following in America."

"Florida Panthers, Practice Jersey…" said Grimmjow, reading the tag. "Wait, they have a team named after me?"

"It's not named after you, moron." said Starrk.

"There are other jerseys for that team here, if your interested. That would be what the team wears in practice, and for actual games they would wear this-"

"I hate the red on it." scowled Grimmjow, looking at the other jersey in question. "Red things are stupid."

"Fuck you, too, Grimmjow." growled Tyn, flipping him off.

"What is hockey, anyway? Maybe Lilynette would be interested…" asked Starrk, and the clerk pointed to one of several television screens on the wall.

"The monitor in the middle shows hockey clips. I don't know much about it, really; I just work here, man."

"It looks violent…" observed Ulquiorra as they watched a player get slammed into a glass wall roughly on the screen. The image then shifted to another clip of a player being helped off the field, which appeared to be made of ice, holding his head and bleeding profusely from his mouth and nose. Then the image shifted again, this time showing a massive fight on the ice, with several players discarding their gloves and trading punches.

"On second thought, I'd rather _not_ get Lilynette involved in that…" said Starrk.

"NHL players get paid a lot…A US dollar is worth about eighty yen or something based on exchange rates right now…" said the clerk, "And star players can make _millions_ of dollars per year."

"They get _paid_ to skate around and beat the hell out of each other?" asked Grimmjow, his eyes wide with joy at the prospect of legally being paid to hurt others. "Ulquiorra, fuck you; I quit."

"Pretty sure there's more to the sport than fighting, Grimmjow…" said Tyn, browsing through the jerseys.

"I can learn! It's the _perfect_ job for me!"

"You are not allowed to quit, Grimmjow." said Ulquiorra flatly, glancing at the human clerk that was still within earshot. "What if you should be…_injured_? Our specialist, Doctor Urahara, would not be able to treat you."

"Well, uh…" said Grimmjow, having caught on to Ulquiorra's meaning about a damaged gigai.

"And once you become a public figure, a recognized sports star…" began Ulquiorra as the clerk finally moved away to go help another customer, "how will you explain it when your fans notice that you do not appear to be aging as you should?"

"God damn it…" hissed Grimmjow.

"Hey, Starrk!" called Tyn, holding up a white jersey with the image of a canine head on it for the _primera_ to see. "Says it's from the Phoenix Coyotes."

"…maybe after Christmas." said Starrk, turning back to the soccer clothing. "Shopping for Lilynette, not myself."

Tyn shrugged and put the jersey back on the rack, idly nosing through the merchandise for anything interesting as Starrk continued to browse for Lilynette. He didn't expect to see anything of worth, really; he wasn't big on any kind of sport, and most of the jerseys looked rather tacky to him. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Starrk hoist a soccer ball into the air, having found one in the store after all. In his other arm, he had several loose soccer jerseys for Lilynette and a couple of pairs of shorts for her, and Tyn knew it was time to leave. He turned to go meet up with the others, and paused as he saw another jersey a couple of racks over, one with the image of a shark biting a hockey stick on the chest.

He seized the tag of the teal-green jersey, reading it.

"San Jose Sharks…" he muttered.

Tia didn't know anything about hockey, but she might like this…maybe. He grabbed the green jersey off the rack, and saw a white version behind it. Green was okay, but there was a lot of green on it, and Halibel _did_ seem to prefer white…

He put the green jersey down and grabbed the white one, wearing a smug grin of content that he'd managed to find his roommate a gift with far less trouble than he'd expected.

"Would you like these jerseys customized, sir?" asked the clerk as Starrk was paying for his merchandise. "For an additional fee, we can put a name and number on each jersey."

"Nah…" said the _primera_, shaking his head as he handed over his money. "These are just for her to practice in; I think her friends are looking at getting real uniforms in the spring."

"I want this sucker customized!" announced Grimmjow, slapping his jersey on the counter and pushing Starrk out of the way as soon as the clerk handed him the change. "Jaegerjaquez, number six, and if you idiots spell it wrong, I will gut you like a fucking fish!"

"Fill out this form, then, and it'll be ready for pick-up next Friday." said the clerk, handing the _sexta_ a slip of paper and a pen.

"Next Friday? To hell with that! If it's not ready by Monday afternoon, you're a dead man!"

"A rush charge is extra…" said the clerk, sweating as Grimmjow glared at him murderously. "But since it's so close to Christmas, we can waive that fee for you, sir!"

"Coward…" muttered Ulquiorra under his breath from the doorway.

"See you Monday afternoon, then." said Grimmjow with an evil grin, dropping his money on the counter and leaving the jersey with the clerk as he wandered over to wait at the exit with Starrk and Ulquiorra.

Tyn put Halibel's jersey up on the counter and grabbed one of the forms, quickly filling it out and handing over his money. The jersey was expensive enough _without_ the customization, but he wanted to make sure she'd be pleased.

"Okay, that's it; we're done. Can we _please_ get the hell out of here now?" asked Grimmjow as Tyn rejoined the group.

"Ulquiorra still needs to go shopping for Orihime…" said Tyn, and the _cuarto_ raised an eyebrow at him.

"I do not recall saying that." he said. "I already have her gift at home, in my room; a cookbook, since she is an amateur chef. A cookbook that mercifully does not mention red bean paste anywhere."

"She'll add some to the recipes, anyway…" said Starrk. "That girl _loves_ the stuff."

"And I despise it."

"Yet you still eat it, don't you?"

"I do not wish to hurt her feelings by refusing." said Ulquiorra stiffly.

"You're turning into a big softy." teased Starrk as they began making their way through the crowds once more for the mall exit, with Grimmjow again taking the lead and knocking the hapless humans out of the way, shoving an older lady with graying hair into the mall's wishing fountain.

"Ho ho ho! You'd better behave, little boy, unless you want to find nothing but coal under your tree on Christmas morning!"

The four turned to their right to see a fat man in a red suit up on a small stage covered with gaudy Christmas decorations, and Grimmjow growled angrily at the human.

"That some kind of threat, old man?" he demanded, curling his right hand into a fist as a warning.

"Christmas is a time to be nice to your fellow man, not naughty! What kind of example do you think you're setting for the children here?" asked the man, gesturing to a line of kids who all appeared to be waiting to get up on stage with him.

"They're learning not to take shit from anyone!" hissed Grimmjow. "Now mind your own fucking business!"

"Ho ho ho, I see, I see… Well then, I won't bother with coal for _you_ this year, young man; I'll simply take a shovel to the reindeer stalls for you! Ho ho ho!" laughed the human, turning away as Grimmjow's face became as red as the faux Santa's suit, his body trembling with rage.

"Grimmjow, don't-" warned Ulquiorra, but it was too late as the berserk _sexta_ pounced on Santa in fury.

"Who's laughing _now_, fat man?"

* * *

It was a nice change of pace to be home by midnight and to _not_ find Tyn waiting up for her.

Halibel smiled as she snuggled up closer to Hiroki on the couch, enjoying the peace as the Palm tree twinkled in the corner with it's dancing lights and a Christmas movie playing on a television that neither of them were paying any real attention to. It had been a perfect evening, which meant next weekend Hiroki would indeed receive his Christmas 'present.'

Halibel would have been lying if she'd said she wasn't a little anxious herself; who'd have ever guessed that it would be possible to love a human? She leaned in close, smiling as she kissed him and wondering if maybe she shouldn't wait until next Friday, if maybe they should go on to her bedroom…

Of course, the universe seemed determined to prevent that as Tyn and the others picked that _exact_ moment to return, flinging the apartment door wide open and noisily entering.

"I can't believe you didn't get arrested…" Tyn was saying as he came in, trailing off as he spied Hiroki and Halibel on the couch, with the human's arm around her shoulders and holding her close, and the redhead narrowed his eyes angrily.

Oh, _shit_; she had forgotten that Hiroki was sitting in Tyn's spot.

Tia didn't even have time to explain before the raptor was over there, plucking the human from the couch and hoisting him into the air by his neck, with Hiroki's feet dangling nearly three inches above the ground as Tyn raised him to eye level.

"Put him down, Tyn!" demanded Halibel.

"He was in _my_ spot." growled the _quinto_. "I don't like it when things mess with my territory."

"Hasn't there been enough violence tonight?" asked Ulquiorra, musing to himself that the 'territory' the _quinto_ was referring to probably _wasn't_ the couch. "I spoke to the police and mall security on Grimmjow's behalf; I would rather not have to talk to the police over you as well, Five."

"Wait, what?" asked Halibel, momentarily forgetting about Hiroki and Tyn as she looked over at the _cuarto _while Starrk and Grimmjow retrieved their work clothes.

"Grimmjow assaulted the mall Santa…" answered Starrk before Ulquiorra could open his mouth to respond. "Tackled him right there on the stage and knocked him into the little 'Santa's Workshop' building they had set up, tearing it down. Three plastic reindeer lost their lives in the struggle; I think that one poor kid is going to be traumatized for life now after catching Rudolph's severed head."

"At least I convinced the man not to press charges in exchange for Grimmjow doing some community service for the rest of this weekend and next." added Ulquiorra. "It is preferable to jail time, and perhaps it will teach him a lesson."

"They're blowing it all out of proportion…" said Grimmjow, scowling. "Not like I really hurt him _too_ badly."

"Grimmjow, you tried to stab him with a candy cane." Starrk reminded him.

"Fat bastard had it coming!" roared the blue-haired sociopath.

Halibel sighed, rubbing her head as Starrk and Grimmjow began to bicker back and forth. She turned back to Hiroki and Tyn, with Tyn still growling angrily, a deep rumbling coming from low in his throat as he tightened his grip, stifling Hiroki's attempt at an apology.

"Tyn, put him down!" Tia ordered again, but her roommate paid her no mind and she could literally _see _the dark intent behind his green eyes.

"Tyn…please." she tried again, making it a gentle request this time.

The redhead finally tore his eyes away from his prey, looking over at Halibel for a long second as he considered her plea.

"Please, Tyn…for me." she asked, hoping that appealing to him as a friend rather than a superior would yield better results. The two stood with eyes locked for another second before Tyn abruptly released his struggling prey, letting Hiroki drop to the floor roughly.

Hiroki got to his feet quickly and made for the door, snatching his jacket as he went.

"I'll see you next Friday, Tia…" he called to her, "I'll be waiting in the lobby for you, though!"

Halibel sighed as the door shut behind Hiroki, struggling to keep her temper in check as Grimmjow and Starrk continued bickering with Ulquiorra caught in the middle, and Tyn kept growling as he swatted the couch cushions angrily as if he were trying to remove Hiroki's scent entirely.

"Leave…" she said finally, her voice dangerously quiet. "If you don't live here, get out _now_."

"Ulquiorra, are you sure you couldn't have talked them into letting me do something _else_ to avoid jail? Something less embarrassing?" asked Grimmjow, ignoring the menacing blond completely.

Ulquiorra, however, was not as willing to stoke the fires of her wrath, and he opened the door and began walking out, reaching back inside just long enough to grab both Grimmjow and Starrk by their jackets and haul them out the door with him.

"I made the best deal possible, Grimmjow; the alternative was jail for assault and battery."

"Man, Christmas _sucks_!" declared Grimmjow as Halibel angrily slammed the door behind them, locking it shut. Tia whirled to face her idiotic roommate who was _still_ patting down the couch. She crossed her arms over her chest, seething as she watched Tyn continue to ignore her as if she weren't even there.

"You can stop tapping your foot…" he said finally, looking up at her. "I know you're there, and I know you're pissed."

"_Why_, Tyn? Jesus, after everything we've been through, after everything _I've_ been through in the war, can't you try and be happy for me? Do you _have_ to try and ruin this?" she asked, voice rising in frustration.

"Of course I want you to be happy…" he said slowly, the tone of his voice suggesting it irritated him for her to even have to ask such a foolish question. "I just don't think a human will keep you happy for long. You'll only end up getting hurt."

"I know you think you're looking out for me, but-" she began, her face softening by a fraction as she stepped closer to him, reaching up and touching his face gently, almost affectionately.

"Besides, the son of a bitch was in _my_ spot."

"GAH!" exclaimed Halibel angrily, throwing her arms up in the air in frustration and storming off to her bedroom. The blonde slammed the door shut behind her with enough force to rattle the walls, leaving a very-confused Tyn standing in the living room by himself in front of the couch.

"What? What'd I say?"

* * *

It was just after one in the morning when Grimmjow finally got back to his own apartment; a small, dirty, one room place in a run-down building on the bad side of town. It was a dump, but it was _his_ dump, damn it, and he was glad to be back to it.

Stupid fat man! Stupid police! To hell with _all_ of them!

"Season's beatings, asshole…" he muttered as he made his way over to the fridge, thinking back on the fight. Grimmjow wasn't sure what had been more amusing; how blue the fat man's face had turned when he'd tried to choke him out with his own fake beard, or the looks of horror on the children's faces as they watched the carnage.

They all had to learn that Santa was a nothing but fat figment of their imagination sooner or later anyway, right? What was the harm in sooner rather than later? Hell, he was doing them all a favor by showing them the truth now! They should be _thanking_ him!

He sat a paper plate down on the table beside the fridge and retrieved the four remaining Turkey-Burgers from the freezer, snapping the stiff, frozen meat into small pieces on the plate before shoving it all into the microwave for a minute and grabbing a saucer from the cupboard as the meat cooked. He pulled out an almost-empty carton of milk and poured the contents into the saucer, tossing the empty container into the trash just as the microwave dinged.

He pulled the now-warm and decidedly-smelly Turkey-Burgers from the microwave and replaced it with the saucer of milk, warming it for a few short seconds.

Grimmjow took the warm milk and the meat over to the window, setting the milk down just long enough to open the window before leaning outside and placing both the plate and the saucer on the rusting hunk of metal that used to be a fire escape. He whistled sharply, and for a few seconds there was nothing.

And then, the sound of meowing as a half-dozen mangy, stray cats of varying breeds and colors came slinking out of the darkness to enjoy the meal left for them.

"Sorry I'm late tonight…" he said to no one in particular as he sat on the windowsill and watched them eat. "Got caught up in a bunch of bullshit. That's the last of the turkey, kids; better enjoy it, 'cause it's back to Meow Mix tomorrow night."

He eyed the one immaculately-clean black cat that was always present night after night, the one who never ate any food and would only lap at the milk after all the others had drank their fill, if there was any left. It was far too clean and well-groomed to be a stray, but it didn't have a collar to indicate that it was someone's pet, either. The cat's yellow eyes bored into him, and it cocked it's head sideways as if it were asking what he found so interesting.

It looked unnervingly intelligent in that moment, and Grimmjow thought back to how he sometimes felt that it was _spying_ on him, but that was utterly ridiculous; it was, after all, just a simple cat.

"Eat up, kids; I've gotta take a piss." he said, removing himself from the windowsill and lowering the window just enough to keep the cats outside; the apartment was enough of a wreck already without having a bunch of strays crapping all over the place.

He made his way over to the painfully-small bathroom, pausing at the door.

"I thought I left the door open this morning…" he mumbled before shrugging it off and grabbing the handle, opening the door.

A small avalanche of kitty litter came tumbling out, covering his feet.

"What…the…_fuck_?" he roared, looking at his bathroom and the two-inch thick layer of kitty litter covering the floor. Even the toilet had been filled, overflowing with the sand-like grit and the bathtub contained about two dozen empty bags of litter.

Kurosaki. It _had_ to be Kurosaki.

Shaking with rage, Grimmjow stormed outside and across the hall, nearly bashing down the door of old Mrs. Maeno, the resident nosey neighbor who just had to keep an eye on _everything_ that wasn't her business. There was silence, and Grimmjow started bashing on the door again.

"Open up, you crazy old bat!" he bellowed. "Tell me what you saw today!"

It was still two minutes before the decrepit old woman finally made her way to the door, opening it slowly with a shaky hand as she adjusted her thick, round glasses and looked up at the towering figure of her insane neighbor from across the hall.

"Yes, sonny?" she asked, cinching her housecoat shut and brushing a few stray strands of aged white hair away from her wrinkled face.

"Did you see anyone come by my apartment today?" he asked impatiently. "A goofy-looking teenager with orange hair?"

"Well…yes, yes I did… Early this morning, not long after you left, son, he came by with a bunch of big bags, said it was a present for you."

"That bastard!" raged Grimmjow. "He thinks this is funny? I'm going to _kill _him!"

The angry Espada made his way back across the hallway, disappearing into his apartment and slamming the door shut so hard that paint chips flaked off the wall in the hallway, falling to the floor as Mrs. Maeno was still talking, completely oblivious to the fact that Grimmjow had already left.

"Had this real pale fellow with him, too…"


	24. Friday Before Christmas

**'Twas the Friday Before Christmas…**

Ulquiorra sighed as he watched Grimmjow running around the dining room with his hockey jersey on rather than his uniform, claiming for the third time this week that he'd simply 'forgot' his uniform. It was the last Friday before Christmas, though, so the _cuarto_ decided to let it slide rather than insist he go home and find his employee shirt.

The pads underneath the jersey and the hockey stick were a different story, though.

Ulquiorra was thankful that no customers had shown up yet to see Grimmjow running about the dining room using two sausage patties that were frozen together as a puck, batting them across the filthy floor as he practiced his 'skills' in preparation for a sports career that could never be. The number four thought that if left unsupervised, Grimmjow would flood the dining room and let the floor freeze so that he could have his own little skating rink to practice on.

"Hey, stop screwing around, Grimmjow; Starrk's got a customer at the window and I need that crap." called Tyn, and Ulquiorra stepped to the side as the _sexta_ gave the patties a good, hard smack that sent them flying across the dining room, over the counter, and into the kitchen where Tyn neatly plucked them out of the air and separated them before dropping them onto the grill.

"I'll try the chicken next; need to work on my slap shot." said Grimmjow, heading for the freezer as Ulquiorra moved to intercept him.

"You have played around enough today, Grimmjow; mop the floors and clean the windows, and you may have your stick back at break time." he ordered, snatching the fiberglass stick away from the other Espada.

_At least he has not attempted to murder Kurosaki yet_, thought Ulquiorra as he deposited the stick into the manager's office, tuning out the sound of the _sexta's_ grumbled cursing and instead reflecting on how enraged Grimmjow had been Monday morning as he relayed the story of his bathroom to the others.

He'd very nearly lost all reason and popped his soul candy after both Tyn and Starrk collapsed to the floor laughing at him.

Still, by some miracle, Ulquiorra had managed to keep the perpetually-angry number six from losing his oh-so-short temper and doing anything _too_ irrational. He supposed that Orihime would call it a 'Holiday Miracle' that was brought about by the 'magic' of Christmas, but Ulquiorra didn't subscribe to the traditional idea of magic that humans seemed so fond of believing in. Christmas was just another day, after all; nothing special or unique about it.

Kurosaki had called him 'Scrooge' for expressing his thoughts on the entire holiday and the ridiculous notions of peace on Earth and good will towards men.

Preposterous; Scrooge most certainly would not have cared to stand between Grimmjow and his revenge.

He was mildly amused that Grimmjow had yet to figure out _how_ Kurosaki had managed to find his apartment in the first place, or how one person could have carried so many bags of litter. He'd briefly considered admitting his part in things to the _sexta_ purely to see the look on his face, but had decided against it when he thought about the carnage that would ensue.

There was no doubt that Ulquiorra could defeat Grimmjow easily, but the issue was that Burger World would _not_ survive the conflict. Truthfully, the surrounding city blocks around Burger World probably would not survive, either.

Of course, there was also the issue of exposing their continued existence to the Seireitei…

Pushing all thoughts of Grimmjow from his mind, Ulquiorra returned to the front just in time to see the front door open and a small herd of customers come in, customers that he quickly recognized as Lilynette, Karin Kurosaki, and their little troupe of friends.

"Shouldn't you be in school?" asked Ulquiorra, raising an eyebrow in question as he looked down at Lilynette. If she was skipping school, Starrk was likely to forcibly drag her back and turn her in to the principal himself, and if he didn't…well, Ulquiorra wouldn't mind getting out of the restaurant for a little while.

"Nope!" chirped Lilynette cheerfully. "School is out until after the New Year for Christmas break! We thought we'd come by and cheer everyone up with some Christmas carols for a little while."

"We do not need 'cheering up' today." said Ulquiorra flatly, his ears already aching at the mere prospect of listening to a group of children singing off-key. "Perhaps Urahara could benefit from your services more…"

"Just one song!" pleaded Lilynette. "One song, and we'll go. I promise you'll love it!"

"What are you doing?" asked Starrk suspiciously, removing his headset as he came over from his window. "I _know_ you, Lilynette; you're definitely up to something."

"Let 'em sing and be done with it…" growled Tyn from the kitchen. "The sooner they get it over with, the sooner they can go pester Urahara or someone else."

"Very well…" sighed Ulquiorra in defeat. "One song, and then you go."

The children all grinned, each displaying a decidedly wicked-looking grin considering their cover story of wanting to sing cheerful Christmas carols, and the adults all looked at each other nervously as they wondered what they were in for.

"Grimmjow got ran over by a reindeer,  
Walking home from Burger World Christmas Eve!  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for me and Starrk, we believe!

He'd been drinking too much milk,  
And we begged him not to go!  
But he was doped up on catnip,  
So he staggered out into the snow!

When we found him Christmas mornin',  
At the scene of the attack,  
He had hoof prints on his forehead,  
And Claus marks on his back!

Grimmjow got ran over by a reindeer,  
Walking home from Burger World Christmas Eve!  
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,  
But as for me and Ulquiorra, we believe!

Now we're all so proud of uncle Tyn,  
He's been taking this so well!  
See him in there watchin' TV,  
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with aunt Halibel!

It's not Christmas without Grimmjow;  
All the Espada dressed in black!  
It's a good thing we never bought him any gifts,  
'Cause we'd have to send them back!"

Starrk and Tyn were both on the floor again, laughing hysterically as a customer at the drive-through could be heard yelling through Starrk's headset trying to get some service. Even the normally-stoic Ulquiorra was having a hard time biting back a smile as Grimmjow stood at the far end of the dining room, too stunned by the verbal assault to even move.

And then he began to shake, his body trembling as his face turned red with rage as the children themselves broke down in laughter, unable to continue singing anymore.

"You brats are all _dead_!" roared Grimmjow, coming alive suddenly and tearing after the children, climbing up on a chair in the dining room and then sprinting from tabletop to tabletop as he made his way after the kids who were scampering for the door as fast as they could, still laughing.

Ulquiorra recovered just in time to catch Grimmjow by the back of his jersey as he tried to follow the fleeing children outside, hauling the berserk Espada back inside.

"Calm down." ordered the _cuarto_. "This sort of behavior is exactly why they targeted you, Grimmjow; you allow everything to bother you, and fly into a rage at the slightest provocation. If you learn to calm yourself, to control your temper, you will become a far less-appealing target."

"He's right…" agreed Starrk as he slowly got back to his feet, rubbing a tear from his eye from laughing too hard. "Once you learn to take a joke in stride, your life will be a hell of a lot easier."

"Easier said than done…" growled Grimmjow, finally allowing Ulquiorra to pull him back inside the restaurant without any further struggle. He was calming down now, and so long as nothing else happened, Ulquiorra was pretty confident that they could finish out the day without incident.

And then, the door opened and a familiar-looking face stuck his head inside.

"Hey, I just saw Karin and Lilynette running like hell from this place; something going on in here?" asked Ichigo Kurosaki, and Grimmjow's eyes widened as he clenched his fists.

"It was _you_, wasn't it?" he roared. "_You_ put them up to it!"

"Put them up to what?" asked Kurosaki, sounding genuinely confused by the accusation.

Grimmjow broke free of Ulquiorra's grasp and took off, slamming into Ichigo with a running tackle that sent both men outside and into the snow, rolling across the parking lot as they traded blows. Inside, the remaining three Espada all looked at each other and moved to the window to watch the fight, with Starrk discarding his headset on the counter as he ignored the customer still yelling for service.

"Should we stop them?" asked Tyn, watching in mild amusement as Grimmjow tried to cram Kurosaki into one of the garbage cans before the shinigami managed to break free, pick up the can, and use it to smack Grimmjow backwards into a parked car.

"Not this time…" sighed Ulquiorra. "Perhaps it is best to simply let them get it out of their system."

"I've got eight hundred yen on Ichigo." said Starrk.

"I'll take you up on that…" said Tyn. "Grimmjow's going to stomp him."

Ulquiorra sighed as he watched the fight, not quite believing that the other two were actually going so far as to bet money on the fight's outcome. How stupid! How utterly ridiculous! How completely barbaric! Still…

"Eight hundred on Kurosaki."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?"

Tia scowled as she looked up from polishing the bar, not wanting to have this conversation now, not with her shift ending in just a few more minutes. Why the hell couldn't humans mind their own damned business? Was that too much to ask?

"I'm sure…" she said, managing a smile at Kishiko as she did so. The girl may have been overstepping her bounds by questioning Halibel's decision, but she did so only out of concern for her friend. Tia could respect that, could appreciate it, no matter how irritating it could be.

"And you still haven't told your roommate what you're going to do?" asked the waitress, the expression on her face suggesting that she believed Tia to be making a mistake.

"Why should I? It's not his concern."

"Are you sure about that? I mean, after what you said about _last_ Friday… Tia, what if the territory he was talking about wasn't the couch? And the Friday before that, when you said he grabbed you and hugged you, asking you not to go…"

"Kishi, he was _drunk_ that night; he didn't know what he was saying, and didn't mean anything. And last Friday he was only concerned about his seat on the couch, nothing else. Trust me, I've known him for a while now." said Halibel, rolling her sleeves back down as she glanced at the clock and noticed it was almost time to clock out and go home to prepare for her date.

_What if she's right?_

Tia froze, eyes wide as the inner voice spoke. She knew it was her own mind, just her imagination talking to her, but it did so in Sung-Sun's voice, just as it had the night she and Tyn had tried to kill one another.

But Kishiko wasn't right, _couldn't_ be right; Tyn's motivations were spurred only by the fact Hiroki was human, not because of jealousy.

And in the off-chance that Kishiko was right, it still didn't matter; after all, she loved Hiroki and had _zero_ romantic interest in Tyn, even if she _did_ still think back to their day at the beach and how his hands had felt against her skin…

* * *

Madness.

It was the only word that Tyn could conjure up to describe the mayhem before him as he entered the mall to go pick up Halibel's jersey from the store; however bad last Friday had been, today had to be three times as bad, at least! He'd known that Ulquiorra's predictions about it being worse this week than last would be correct, but he had never imagined it would be _this_ bad!

As fast and nimble as the _quinto_ was, it was nigh impossible to navigate through the crowds that choked the mall; the relentless flow of humans had already carried him past the Sports and Imports store once, and now he found himself fighting his way upstream to get back to it. He opted to take a page from Grimmjow's playbook and begin plowing through people forcefully, shoving anyone and everyone out of his way as he fought against the surge of shoppers.

He'd have given anything to be able to hop out of his gigai and release his zanpaktou at that moment; he wouldn't have had to kill anyone, just use his resurrección form to scare the hell out of everyone and make them run for their pathetic lives.

Of course, there was probably only one, maybe two people in the entire mall who _might_ have had enough spiritual pressure to be able to perceive a hollow in their midst; the rest would see nothing and be completely oblivious to him as they continued about their tasks.

Then again, if he could exit his gigai in the first place, Tyn thought he'd probably just go ahead and kill everyone in his path regardless._  
_

It took several agonizing minutes of battling against the current for Tyn to reach the Sports and Imports, and he allowed himself a sigh of relief as he finally managed to break free of the flow of humans and duck inside the store.

And then he noticed the line of customers waiting at the register and very nearly screamed.

"Twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen…you've _got_ to be kidding me!" he exclaimed as his boiling anger was reaching critical mass. It was bad enough that he knew Tia would be out having dinner with that wimpy human right about now, and that he'd just spent the past fifteen minutes just trying to navigate his way to the damn store, and now he had to deal with _this_ crap?

"No more mister nice arrancar…" he growled to himself as he walked up to the back of the line and began forcing his way through again, picking up his first victim by the back of his coat and flinging him about two meters to the left, watching the man hit the ground and skid across the floor for a couple of feet before coming to a stop underneath a life-size cardboard cutout of a sumo wrestler.

The man got to his feet and began to protest, threatening to call mall security, and Tyn answered by grabbing the next person in line, one hand on the back of his coat and one on his belt as he picked the man up in the air and chucked him bodily at the first human.

The others in line noticed that something was amiss now as they turned around just in time to see Tyn grab another customer by the back of his pants and yank him backwards out of the way, letting the man stumble back several meters before falling hard onto his rear. The line began to disperse then, with the remaining customers wisely stepping aside and letting Tyn pass rather than risk being his next target.

The clerk at the register paled a little bit, apparently recognizing him from their visit last week and remembering how threatening Grimmjow had been.

Good; that would make this easier.

Tyn slapped his receipt down on the counter wordlessly, making sure to growl threateningly as a not-so-subtle way of encouraging the clerk to hurry the hell up or else. The terrified human who looked to be barely out of his teens ducked down behind the counter and began frantically searching through the items stored in the cabinet, trying to find the hockey jersey in question before the crimson-haired maniac lost his patience again.

"Here!" he said finally, standing up with a package that had Tyn's name printed on it. Hastily, the clerk tore open the package and extracted the white jersey, unfolding it for Tyn's inspection to make sure it had come out right. The name across the back of the shoulders declared HALIBEL to the world, and the large number below it was a three, just as planned.

Perfect.

Tyn nodded in approval, being careful not to smile or do anything else that might put the human at ease as the clerk carefully re-folded the jersey and put it back into the package before bagging it up.

He snatched the bag away from the clerk and headed swiftly departed the store, once again being swiftly swept downstream by the raging current of shoppers, but this time Tyn opted to flow with the humans, letting them carry him to the nearest exit before breaking free and trampling a couple of hapless individuals underfoot in the process.

Tyn burst through the exit and out into the cold night air, snow crunching underfoot as more white flakes fell softly to earth from the heavens above, but he paid no attention to the miserable weather as he enjoyed the sweet, sweet smell of freedom.

His sensitive nose twitched as he picked up another scent in the air. Freedom, it seemed, smelled a bit like cinnamon.

"I didn't expect to see _you_ here… Last minute shopping?" asked a voice from behind.

Tyn turned around and found himself face to face with Yoruichi Shihōin, former captain of Squad 2 and current resident of the Urahara Shop. She was bundled up in a large black coat that swallowed her lithe body completely, a red Santa hat perched on her head, with a tan scarf wrapped around her neck tightly, and the multiple bags in her hands suggested that she was guilty of being a last-minute shopper herself.

"Just picking up something I paid for last week…" he said, glancing at the bags. "You?"

"I've been lazy." she admitted with a shrug. "But I've managed to get everything done finally; some presents for Kisuke and everyone else at the shop, stuff for Soifon, and some things for my brother and Nel."

"I heard Nel had taken up residence in the Soul Society, but I didn't know you were friends with her." he said, silently arching a questioning eyebrow as she simply invited herself to fall into step beside him as he headed down the sidewalk towards home.

"She's a good person; I like her." Yoruichi admitted. "And since she'll be joining the 'extended family' in a couple of months…"

"Tell her congratulations, then; she deserves to be happy." said Tyn, smiling softly as he thought back to days long past of Neliel's cheerful enthusiasm and good-nature back in Hueco Mundo. Much as Tyn had liked the strange woman, she'd never belonged with the rest of them, not really; Neliel was simply too kind for her own good and that would have got her killed eventually, even without Nnoitra's betrayal.

"Where's Halibel tonight? Working?" asked the ex-captain and Tyn scowled as his almost-good mood shattered.

"Date." he spat hatefully. "With a _human_."

"I see…" said Yoruichi, eyeing him closely. "Is that a note of jealousy I detect in your voice?"

"Hardly; why would _I _be jealous?"

"Grimmjow seems to think you are… I heard him talking about it last night."

"You're friends with Grimmjow, too?" asked Tyn, not quite believing his ears.

"Not exactly… I've been keeping an eye on him every night since you came to Karakura. Kisuke and I both thought that he would be the most likely to lash out and kill someone, so I've been spying on him at night, hoping I can stop him if he tries anything."

"And?" asked Tyn.

"Did you know he has a soft spot for strays?" she asked him with a grin. "Feeds 'em every night. Has ever since that first week; sits a bowl of cat food and a dish of warm milk outside his window every night and sits there watching them. He talks to them, too; calls them all 'kids,' if you can believe it."

"Are we talking about the same Grimmjow?"

"Not very many people in Karakura named Grimmjow, and even fewer with blue hair." pointed out Yoruichi as she shifted the bags to her other hand and adjusted her scarf. "Anyway, he's mentioned you complaining about Halibel's new boyfriend several times now, and he seems to think you're jealous. Says you need to just confront her, tell her the truth, and get it over with."

"He's insane." scoffed Tyn, kicking a small mound of snow and watching the powdery flakes go flying.

"No argument there…" smirked the shinigami. "But from what he says and what I've observed so far, I think he might be right."

"You're _both_ wrong." growled the arrancar defensively. "Tia is just my roommate and I'm only looking out for her best interests. That's all there is to it."

"Maybe I am… Tell you what; I'll let you buy me dinner as an apology, and you can tell me the many different reasons why I'm wrong."

"Deal. I'm hungry, any… _Hey! _Wait just a goddamn minute here! Shouldn't _you_ be the one buying dinner if you're apologizing?"

"Too late!" said Yoruichi with a mischievous grin. "You've already agreed to it. Carry-out and a movie?"

"Let me guess; I'm buying the movie, too?" he asked sourly.

"Such a gentleman, offering to pay for everything!" teased Yoruichi, and Tyn just scowled.

"Well, there goes that extra cash…"

* * *

"I hope you don't mind, but I'm not walking you up to your apartment again."

Halibel frowned as she looked over at her date, squeezing his hand. It sounded like a rude thing to say, but she supposed that it couldn't be helped after last weekend's little fiasco. She had to admit that the other Espada hadn't been particularly friendly to him, and in the case of Grimmjow and Tyn, had in fact been very threatening.

"They won't be there tonight." she tried to soothe him, offering a reassuring smile. "They have other things to do than terrorize you."

"Your roommate will be there." countered Hiroki. "That psycho is the worst of the lot, too!"

"He's not a psycho…" Tia corrected him calmly, squeezing his hand even tighter to indicate her displeasure. "He's just not very good with people and has a few minor trust issues. He's trying, I think…it's just going to take time for him to get to know you, to understand you like I do."

"Maybe some other time, then.." said Hiroki, looking away. "But not tonight. I really don't want him to strangle me again."

"I'll have a word with him… He'll never lay a finger on you again, I promise."

"How can you promise that? How can you be immune to his temper? Doesn't he scare you?"

"I'm not immune…not entirely, anyway. And no, he doesn't scare me; I know him better than most."

"That doesn't explain how you can promise he'll behave…" said Hiroki darkly, and Tia almost felt insulted by his lack of trust. Still, he had a right to be concerned; Tyn probably would have kept squeezing his neck until his head popped off had she not intervened last time.

"I know it doesn't, but it's hard to explain…" she said, kissing him lightly. "Just trust me on this, okay?"

"I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, I guess…" he said, clearly tired of arguing. "Anyway, it's nearly midnight in the morning; are you ready to go home yet?"

"Actually, I was just thinking that I'd _love_ to finally see your apartment…"

* * *

"Hot pizza, warm sake, and Christmas television; what more could you ask for?"

Tyn scowled at the woman sitting across from him as he swallowed another bite of pizza and chased it down with the sake.

"I can think of a few things…" he said bitterly. "And I prefer beer to sake."

"At least you didn't have to buy a movie… Store was too ridiculously crowded to bother."

"And as for Christmas television,…" Tyn added, ignoring her, "it's all garbage! It is definitely _not_ 'A Wonderful Life,' and if I see the one with that little brat who gets his tongue stuck to a pole one more freakin' time, I'm going to _kill_ something…maybe several somethings!"

"Grinch…" said Yoruichi, shaking her head. "Your problem is that you have no holiday spirit."

"My _problem_ is that my stupid roommate is going out with a lowly human!" he exclaimed, using the remote to shut the TV off before another sappy special came on. "Why isn't she here with me? It makes no sense!"

"It's because you suck all the fun right out of the holidays…" said Yoruichi with a teasing grin that quickly withered away under Tyn's glare. "Okay, joking aside, have you seriously tried _telling_ her? I know it may be a foreign concept, but sometimes we women like to be told that we're wanted."

"There's nothing to tell her." Tyn said defiantly, snatching up another slice of pizza. "It's not like that."

"Oh, look; a man who can't admit he has feelings. How unusual." she said dryly.

"Cute, real cute." said Tyn in-between mouthfuls of food. "She should be home shortly, though; it's what, almost one?"

Yoruichi glanced over at the clock on the blu-ray player, noting that the time was actually closer to three in the morning. She hadn't intended on staying so long, not really; her plan upon running into the arrancar outside the mall had been simply to keep him company to prevent him doing anything reckless and potentially dangerous until Halibel had returned home, but she had expected the other woman to be back long before now.

"Isn't it amazing how quickly time can slip by?" she asked softly, more to herself than to the arrancar.

She and Kisuke, along with the other residents of the Urahara Shop, would be departing for the Soul Society in a few hours to spend the holidays there before returning to the human world after the New Year. Yoruichi had hoped to get some sleep in before departing, but with the _tercera_ nearly three hours late getting home, sleep seemed unlikely unless she gave up and abandoned Tyn.

Abandoning an Espada-level hollow that was barely coping with dangerous levels of jealousy seemed like a terrible idea as an image of a smoldering crater a half-kilometer wide sitting where the apartment building _used_ to be entered her mind.

A quick glance at him and the way he was staring at the digital numbers of the clock as they slowly ticked by told her that he knew the most likely reason for Halibel being late. His face was largely unreadable, even to one who was an expert at the art of reading expressions and body language; he betrayed no hint of anger or sorrow, of loneliness or heartache. Maybe she was wrong, and maybe he could handle it better than she thought…or maybe he was simply a ticking time bomb, waiting to explode.

"You should go…" he said finally. "It's late, and you said earlier that you have a trip to make in the morning. Better go get some rest."

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked irritably, taking another drink of sake. "I appreciate the company and helping me wrap Tia's gift, but you really don't need to stay."

"It's very late…" she said slowly. "Or very early, depending on your point of view. Maybe I could just stay on the couch?"

"Why are you even bothering with me?" he asked, confusion weaving it's way into his voice. "With few exceptions, shinigami and hollows generally _don't _get along."

"Maybe because I don't think you're monsters, not anymore. You can thank Nel and Grimmjow for that; getting to know her and watching him has shown me something important."

"What's that?"

"That you _can_ change. That you can feel. That you're not hopeless. And if you're ever going to truly change, you need people who are willing to reach out to you, to care about what happens." she said softly, feeling pity for the lonely creature sitting across from her.

"I never expected to hear such words coming from a former assassin…"

"Maybe I'm getting a little soft now that Aizen's gone and the war is over…" Yoruichi admitted with a smirk as she walked over to the couch and stretched out on it. "Did I tell you that I'm hoping to have a niece by this time next year? I don't think _I'll _ever have any children, so if Anrak and Nel ever have one, I'm going to spoil her to death and buy her anything she wants. She's going to be _such_ a pampered little princess!"

"I think I'm going to be sick…" said Tyn sourly. "That's all way too sweet for my tastes."

"You really _are_ a mean one, Mister Grinch." smirked the shinigami, barely managing to suppress a yawn as Tyn shut off the lights for her. "Anyway, you should go get some sleep, too; she'll be home eventually."

"Yeah…eventually."

* * *

Tyn watched the numbers on the blu-ray player roll over from six fifty-eight to six fifty-nine, and Tia had yet to come home. He hadn't gone to bed yet, and refused to until she came home, choosing instead to sit on the floor by the coffee table and the empty pizza box. He had little doubt of why she was so late, and he felt his anger swelling.

Dirty, stinking, no-good human…

How had it come to this? _Why_ had it come to this?

He growled lightly, being careful to not wake the still-sleeping Yoruichi over on the couch. He was grateful for the ex-captain's concern and company, but a part of him also wished that she hadn't gotten involved; it was bad enough that the other Espada knew about his misery, but now the shinigami knew as well.

It was hard to hold onto his last remaining scraps of pride when more and more people kept seeing his weaknesses.

Still, it wasn't like he actually _cared_ about Halibel any more than the rest of the pack; he was simply worried that she was setting herself up to fall, which was a situation that none of the others were in, and his every attempt to reason with her had failed miserably. That was it, nothing more; he was only trying to protect her from herself.

Okay, maybe he _did_ still think back to their day at the beach and how warm her skin had felt underneath his fingers, but surely that didn't really mean anything, right?

He closed his eyes and sighed, remembering their time together in Hueco Mundo prior to his exile; their long talks, the simple joy he'd taken in simply standing on the dome and watching the night sky with her...

Tyn opened his eyes just in time to see the clock roll over to seven forty-seven and to heard the front door creak open slowly as Tia finally crept inside, obviously trying to be quiet so as to not wake the roommate she assumed to be sleeping.

"Welcome home." Tyn said evenly, watching her tense up at having been caught. Dawn was just breaking outside, but the living room was still dark with even the tree in the corner having been long since turned off for the night, but his keen eyes could see her clearly as she turned to face the direction his voice had come from.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now…" she said softly.

"You thought, or you hoped?" he asked bitterly, his nose already detecting the human's scent clinging to her.

"Tyn, I…" she said, visibly fumbling for what to say. He narrowed his eyes, waiting for her to find the words she was looking for, a flimsy excuse to hide behind or another declaration that it was none of his concern.

"Good morning…" yawned Yoruichi, sitting up on the couch. "Was wondering when you'd drag yourself home."

"What are _you_ doing here?" hissed Tia, her voice low and dangerous as if she found the other woman's presence to be threatening somehow.

"Ran into Red here at the mall last night…followed him home, had some pizza, watched some TV, talked, and then I feel asleep on the couch." said Yoruichi dismissively. "Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"Of course not…" Halibel said with a forced smile, but Yoruichi hadn't missed her momentary hesitation that suggested she found _everything_ to be wrong with it. The former-captain considered pointing out the hypocrisy between Halibel's words and her demeanor, but decided that was a conversation best left for Tyn to have with her, if he'd even noticed it at all.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, with a great deal of hostility emanating from Halibel towards the guest on the couch before the blonde finally sighed and retreated into her room.

"You know the way out." she said curtly as she shut the door. "Good night."

"Is it cold in here, or is it just me?" asked Yoruichi, smirking with a bit of wry humor.

"No, it's definitely pretty chilly in here…" agreed Tyn slowly, looking at Halibel's door with disappointment. Yoruichi sighed as she walked over and slapped her Santa hat down on top of his head before picking up her bags.

"It's Christmas Eve; try to cheer up and enjoy the day." she said softly. "Be her friend and at least _pretend_ you're happy for her. Don't let this ruin your first Christmas."

"I'll try." he lied, forcing a smile as he stood and walked her to the front door. "Thanks for keeping me company."

He watched the dark-skinned shinigami favor him with a nod and a grin before disappearing out the door, making her way to the elevator. Tyn shut the door and locked it tight, leaning heavily against the frame as he sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

Cheer up? Enjoy the Day? Pretend to be happy that Tia was soiling herself and her pride by consorting with a godforsaken _human_?

"Yeah, right…" he grumbled as he made his way to his bedroom, pausing by the tree for a moment and looking down and carefully-wrapped box holding Halibel's present, it's cheerful wrapping paper suddenly offensive to his eyes. He reached up and pulled the Santa hat from his head, holding it in his hand and looking at it for a long moment before dropping it on top of the gift as if to cover the box from view.

Fuck Christmas.


	25. Not so Silent Night I

**Not-so-Silent Night I**

Christmas, according to idealists like Orihime and every overly-sappy television special and movie ever conceived by man, was a time of togetherness for family and friends, a time for old feuds to temporarily be forgotten as enemies came together as friends. It was supposedly a time of peace and joy, love and understanding between all men.

All across Karakura Town and the globe in general, that was indeed the case as families came together to laugh and celebrate what was generally considered to be the most joyous time of year.

And then, there was Tyn and Tia.

The two arrancar sat on their couch, each on their respective ends and each as far away from the other as possible. The television remote sat on top of a couple of throw pillows that were piled up on the cushion in between them, the so-called No Man's Land. On the television itself was some ridiculous holiday programming that neither of them were paying any attention to; all they knew is that it was the third movie to come on since they'd sat down.

They didn't dare speak to one another or even look in the other's direction, and the hostility in the air was palpable. There was no joy to be found here and if Santa himself were to show up in an attempt to share the spirit of Christmas with them, he would likely meet an unspeakably gruesome end.

Eight months of hell, two and a half months of peace, and now it looked as if they were back at the beginning again.

It was the afternoon of Christmas Eve, and the night was fast approaching. There was no joy in the apartment and even the Christmas Palm tree sat in the corner with it's colorful lights shut off, almost as if it had been shoved away into the dark out of spite of the season. Halibel's present still sat underneath the tree, unopened and quite possibly unnoticed by her, the red Santa hat still laying on top of the box to cover up the cheerful wrapping and bright bow.

Neither had expected things to turn out quite the way they had, not after how well they had been getting along following their fight two months ago. Each had expected the holidays to be a semi-pleasant experience at worst, and something truly joyous and almost-human at best.

"Why are you acting this way?" Halibel asked finally, apparently tired of the maddening silence that was all too reminiscent of their earlier hatred for one another.

"Why are you?" countered Tyn coldly, his tone barely more civil than a snarl.

"I did nothing wrong!" she exclaimed. "You _knew_ I was going out with Hiroki, and-"

"I thought you'd be home around one, as usual." growled Tyn. "I got worried when you were so late… And then, then when you _do_ come home, you get pissy because Yoruichi was here with me. Why shouldn't I be upset?"

"Don't make this about me! I don't answer to you!" snapped the blond, turning her body to fully face him. "And _you_, consorting with a Soul Reaper just because you're mad at me! How childish can you be, Tyn?"

"We had a pizza and talked and she fell asleep on the couch; that's _all_! Nothing happened, and nothing will _ever_ happen! Besides, you went out and slept with a filthy _human_!"

"Like I believe that!" she snorted. "I _know_ how much you enjoy the taste of cats! And what if I _did_ sleep with Hiroki? That's _my_ decision-"

"So it's your business and yours alone if you sleep with a human, but if I _were_ to choose to sleep with Yoruichi, that's also _your_ business? Nice double standard you have."

"I didn't mean it like that…" said Tia, suddenly appearing unsure of herself. "I just…I'm trying to look out for you."

"And that's all I've been trying to do for you." said Tyn, looking away. "If anything hurt you…or _any_ member of the pack, I don't know what I'd do. A human _will _end up hurting you eventually, Tia."

"You don't know that…you _can't_ know that." she said, the hostility finally disappearing from her voice. "Hiroki's a good man, Tyn. You'd see that if you'd give him a chance."

Tyn grunted, folding his arms over his chest and refused to dignify her assumption with a response as she carefully reached over and placed a hand on his shoulder gently.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I'd be late…" she apologized. "I didn't mean to worry you, but I _can_ take care of myself, you know."

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to worry. Members of a pack should look after each other, individual strength be damned." he mumbled, omitting the fact that he felt she'd always be safer with him than with a fleshy mortal.

"You're right… Next time I'm going to be late, I'll call so you don't worry…" Tia said, pausing a moment before adding, "And if you do want to be with her, it's not my business. I won't act like that again."

Tyn turned his head slightly, cocking his head as he peered at her. It almost seemed as if she had been reluctant to say that last bit, like it pained her somehow, but that made no sense; why would it bother her? It _had_ to have simply been his imagination.

"I don't want to be with her." he said gruffly, turning away again. "She's a good woman, for a Soul Reaper…a good friend, even. But that's all; I don't _feel_ anything for her. Not my type, I guess."

"And what exactly _is_ your type?"

"Why so interested?"

"I'm not." she said quickly, "I'm just making conversation."

"You're a terrible conversationalist…" commented Tyn dryly as he grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. "And I'm sick of all this feel-good Christmas crap; I think I'm just going to go to bed and you can wake me some time after New Year's."

"Why don't we go out instead?" asked Halibel. "When's the last time we went out and did something? We can go to the mall, wander around for a while before it closes…just something to get out of the apartment. It's been a few weeks since we've just gone out and done something."

"Do I have to?" whined the redhead. "It's cold and wet out there and I _hate_ snow."

"Then be sure to dress warmly." said Tia, as if it were obvious. "If you hurry, I'll let you buy me dinner."

"Why the hell am _I_ always the one buying dinner for everyone?"

* * *

Christmas dinner was sprawled out before him, covering the kitchen table from one end to the other with overflowing bowls, plates, and trays. There was enough food there to feed a dozen people, easily, and yet there was only the two of them; the leftovers would last for weeks, but Ulquiorra's appetite had long since evacuated the premises.

The food, every last bit of it, had red bean paste mixed in with it.

It was the bane of his existence, the most foul substance known to both man and hollow alike, and yet Orihime absolutely loved it.

He could stand the tofu, the vegetables, the slightly-overcooked ham, the too-cheesy macaroni, the overly-watery noodles, and the undercooked potatoes. He could even stand the disgusting-looking creamed corn that looked too much like bile to be healthy and the sickeningly-sweet chocolate candies that she'd made by hand if he had to.

Or rather, he _could_ if she hadn't found a way to add the damnedable red bean paste to all of it.

_All _of it, including the candy…

Clearly, there was no God.

Ulquiorra could admit to himself that he enjoyed Orihime's company, that he valued her friendship and affection despite all of her strange little quirks that he'd yet to understand, but dinner with Orihime was a black hell from which there was no escape; he couldn't simply _tell_ her that he hated red bean paste. He couldn't point out that it was indeed possible to have too much of a 'good' thing because he didn't want to hurt her feelings and be an ungrateful guest.

She had refused his offers to help cook the Christmas feast and he wondered if that was simply because she enjoyed cooking by herself too much, or if she had been afraid that he might 'accidentally' leave out her beloved red bean paste.

Most of it smelled delicious, but the past eleven months had taught him that he could never trust his nose where Orihime's cooking was concerned. Instead of craving the ham, Ulquiorra found himself longing for the Burger World chicken nuggets that weren't quite chicken, the questionable beef patties, the grease-soaked fries, and even the terrible, almost-unbearably dry and bland Turkey-Burgers.

"I forgot the dinner rolls!" cried Orihime, coming out of the kitchen in an apron splattered with various foodstuffs as she covered her face in shame. "We can't have a good dinner without dinner rolls!"

Dinner rolls, the one thing he could get away with eating _without_ red bean paste…

This would not do, not at all.

"You have done enough for today; I will go to the store and fetch the rolls." he offered, standing up and striding over to the coat rack to grab his jacket before she could argue.

"Oh, thank you, Ulquiorra!" gushed the teen. "I'm so sorry for forgetting! I promise I'll make you my famous extra-special Red Bean Paste Chili Powder Enhanced Fish-Flavored Chocolate Tofu Pie for this!"

The _cuarto_ was pretty sure that his pale face had just turned the same shade of green as his eyes.

"That's not necessary, really…" he said stiffly, inching towards the door. "In fact, I insist upon it; you have worked entirely too much already. I will fetch the rolls and then we can sit down and enjoy this…_wonderful_ meal."

"Are you sure?" she asked, smiling. "I really don't mind the extra work!"

"Positive." answered Ulquiorra as he opened the door and backed outside into the cold. "The pie can wait until later…perhaps at New Year's, when we have the others here with us to appreciate it."

He disappeared out the door and down the sidewalk before she could reply and insist on making the evil dessert that he could only refer to as "The Aizen-Killer Pie." Good lord, if she'd made such a monstrosity during her stay in Los Noches and successfully convinced Aizen to sample it, the war would have likely ended in a matter of minutes.

Ulquiorra shuddered at the mere thought of the death pie; no one, not even the creepy, squinty-eyed Gin Ichimaru deserved such a horrible fate.

Still, if he was going to suffer it, he was going to make damn sure the other Espada shared his pain.

While the Aizen-Killer was making the rest of the dinner suddenly sound delectable, Ulquiorra concluded that it may be best to take the 'scenic' route to the store; after all, absence supposedly made the human heart grow fonder and hopefully, it would make his stomach grow more desperate.

* * *

"You're serious? Grimmjow, _our_ Grimmjow?"

"That's what Yoruichi told me." replied Tyn and Halibel broke down in laughter, wiping tears from her eyes at the thought of the mighty Grimmjow playing the role of a parental figure to a bunch of mangy strays.

"That's so…so…I don't even _know_ what it is!" she laughed, trying to gain control of herself as they ambled through the nearly-deserted mall. "I just can't picture Grimmjow, of all people, having a soft spot for animals."

"Stranger things have happened…" Tyn mused. "Starrk becoming a responsible role-model for Lilynette, Lilynette being best-friends with Kurosaki's kid sister, Ulquiorra falling in love with Orihime…"

"He's admitted to it?" asked the blond incredulously, abruptly halting her laughter in disbelief. "Stoic, stone-hearted Ulquiorra has admitted that he loves her?"

"Not in so many words…" said Tyn, scratching the back of his head. "I don't think he'll ever actually _say_ it, but if you listen to the way he talks about her and observe how he reacts to her…"

"Things have changed so much, haven't they? Everyone is so different from the way we used to be… I have a hard time believing it sometimes. The others have all of that going on, I'm dating a human and you're…" she trailed off as Tyn looked away, realizing he was probably embarrassed by his own lack of progress.

"You had a hard time in exile, but you're making a lot of progress in recovering…" she offered weakly, smiling to take as much of the sting out of her words as possible. "Your time in the desert changed you…left you a little…unhinged, maybe."

"Thanks…" he said dryly. "That makes me feel so much better, really."

"I didn't mean it like that…" she said defensively. "Being alone was traumatic for you, and there's nothing wrong with admitting it. My point is that I _know_ you'll be okay in time; soon, you'll be the Tyn I knew in Los Noches again, and when that happens-"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll become a different person. I get it." he said sourly.

"I miss him sometimes…" she said, not daring to look over at her companion as they walked. "He was the only male in all of Hueco Mundo that I could trust to never turn on me. I always felt comfortable around him, a lot like how I felt around my fracción."

"I'm _still_ that person, dimwit." he growled.

"No, you're not…" she countered, refusing to let his insult bait her into an argument. "You're more confused than he was, more combative, and more desperate to fit in with the rest of us; the old Tyn just slid into place like he _knew_ he belonged there and he questioned everyone else instead of himself. You look like him, sound like him, smell like him, but you're _not_ him."

There was silence around them as they looked away from each other. It was a hard thing to tell him, but he had to know the truth before he could ever really recover. Once he was back to his old self, back to the former-_sexta_ she remembered from Los Noches, maybe then things could be different. Maybe then, she could…

_No, I can't think like that. I'm already involved with Hiroki._

She looked over at Tyn, catching his eye for a moment before looking away again. He didn't have the same look in his eyes as he'd had back then, and it was more than the simple matter of the gigai having green eyes rather than his natural amber-colored ones.

No, he was not the same creature he used to be, not yet, but at least he was getting there.

"Ho-fucking-ho, Merry Christmas!" called the token mall Santa from his tiny stage at the center of the mall. "Come on, brats; tell me what you want and let's get this shit over with!"

"I don't recall Santa being that…_colorful_." observed Tyn, seizing the opportunity to jump to a subject other than his own shortcomings.

"Doesn't he look familiar?" asked Tia, straining her eyes for a better look past the crowds.

"Merry-effin'-Christmas to one and all! Ho, ho-oh, _fuck_!" exclaimed Santa as he spied Tyn and Tia at the back of the crowd, effectively ending the guessing game as to who was underneath the fake beard and curly, white wig.

"Well, now we know why he was so upset about the deal Ulquiorra cut to keep him out of jail…" giggled Halibel, burying her face in Tyn's shoulder to stifle the deep belly laugh that was brewing at the sight of an embarrassed Grimmjow dressed as Santa Claus, his face nearly as red as the suit itself at having been caught by his peers.

"I hate to say it but I actually feel _sorry_ for him…" remarked Tyn as the faux-Santa on the stage turned his back to the crowd to hide his face.

"I do, too, but…oh, God, it's too priceless! I would _kill_ for a camera right now!" laughed Tia and Tyn grinned back at her, though his grin was driven more by her own expression of happiness rather than Grimmjow's misery.

"And I think he'd kill if you _did_ have a camera." said Tyn and the _tercera_ could only nod at him as she bit down on her tongue to try and stop laughing, grabbing his arm and steering him deeper into the mall and away from the sight of Santa Grimmjow.

The earlier troubles of the day were all but forgotten now, the anger and accusations all forgiven as the two shared a chuckle as the _sexta's_ expense and then promising not to breathe a word of it to anyone else for his sake. What had started out as the worst possible experience imaginable for their first Christmas in Karakura was slowly but surely turning into a merry one.

Perhaps those sappy television specials hadn't been wrong after all; maybe there really _was_ such a thing as a Christmas miracle, and maybe that was what they were experiencing now. Maybe-

"Hey, Tia…doesn't Hiroki work on Saturdays?" asked Tyn abruptly.

"Yes…" she answered slowly, unsure as to why he felt the need to ask a question whose answer he already knew. "Why?"

"Even today? He's working tonight, right?"

"Yes, he is… Tyn, what's with the questions?" asked Halibel, an uneasy knot forming in her stomach.

"Because I'm wondering why he's here." said Tyn, pointing at a figure further down the mall.

Tia followed his extended finger, her eyes focusing on the familiar man down at the far end of the building. She recognized him, all right; same short, well-combed dark hair, same handsome face, same winter coat…

"He must have gotten off early…" said Tia, a smile forming on her lips. "He's shopping for me… I _told_ you he was a good man."

"Then who's that with him, his sister?" asked Tyn, peering at the petite woman beside him.

"Probably." said Tia, nodding. "They seem to have a similar nose, so-"

"Must be a _real_ close family, then." quipped Tyn as Hiroki leaned over and kissed the woman on the lips deeply.

Tia froze, hoping her eyes were deceiving her. She blinked, rubbing away a lone tear that was obscuring her vision as she took another look, but nothing had changed; Hiroki was kissing another woman.

The rest of the world fell away, leaving Tia feeling so very cold and alone.

* * *

He _should_ have felt good for finally finding and exposing Hiroki's flaw, for finally getting Tia to see that those outside the pack couldn't be trusted. It was a moment of triumph to watch her feelings for him crumble away into dust and Tyn had long thought he would enjoy this moment.

_Why do I feel so miserable, then?_

Halibel still stood by his side, her inner turmoil keeping her feet frozen to the ground and forcing her to watch the scene before them as she considered what to do. Tyn cautiously placed a hand on her shoulder to try and show her that he stood by her, but he was well aware that in her current state of mind the _tercera_ could very well turn on him and everyone else in the mall.

He opened his mouth to speak, unsure of what to say but knowing he had to say something, but Tia was already pulling away from him and angrily storming down the mall. Tyn stood his ground for a moment, watching her clench and unclench her fists as she went.

Not good.

She had already grabbed hold of Hiroki and spun him around, demanding answers to a dozen different questions as Tyn finally moved to join her. He didn't know why she had to bother asking anything, though; to him, it was obvious that Hiroki had been using the excuse of working on Saturdays to juggle seeing two women at once.

"Tia, I…" he was stammering as Tyn finally joined them. "It's not what it looks like…"

"Who is this?" demanded the other woman, and Tyn looked away as the trio began to argue back and forth.

Drama… He _hated_ drama. Hell, every time a drama show came on television, he always changed the channel in favor of something with more explosions and blood, but there was no remote here, no way to escape. And worst of all, this was the abominable "made for TV movie of the week" kind of drama!

Though, unlike those dramas, blood and explosions were a distinct possibility here.

The story, at least as far as he could decipher amongst the bickering, was that Hiroki had been dating _another_ woman when he met Tia, having begun two-timing because he thought the first relationship was going downhill and he wanted a head start on the next. When that first one finally sank and freed up his Saturdays, he moved on to this new girl, Juri, because Halibel had been reluctant to sleep with him.

Also because her friends were all sociopaths, apparently.

The fool had gotten what he wanted last night and Tyn knew it, which effectively threw out the lame excuse of Tia not-

"I can't _believe_ I almost… I felt _guilty_ about backing out, you bastard!" Tia roared, and Tyn looked back at her.

_Wait, does that mean…? But I could smell his scent!_

He decided that he could ask questions later as he saw Tia was quivering with white-hot rage. Juri slapped Hiroki across the face brutally and stormed off and Tyn fully expected the menacing blond to do the same.

Except that if Tia did it, it would literally tear Hiroki's head off. The gigai may have limited her strength to a tiny fraction of what it actually was, but that fraction was still more than enough to kill an ordinary human.

The raw anger shining in her green eyes was such that Tyn had never seen before, not back in Hueco Mundo and not even in the first few months they had lived together in Karakura. The smart thing to do would be to stop her, to keep her from lashing out and destroying their charade as humans, but he couldn't just deny her the right to revenge.

"I'm done…" she said slowly, backing far away from Hiroki. "We're done. If I ever see you again after tonight, I'll kill you."

Tyn watched the fool open his mouth to argue, but Tia wanted none of it as she turned and stalked away, striding for the exit quickly before her self-control completely disintegrated and she decided to destroy anything and everything. Hiroki stood there for a moment, watching her leave as he ran a hand through his now-frazzled hair and weighed his options.

And then he chose to give chase, running after Halibel and calling out for her to stop and wait.

Tyn casually meandered off in their general direction, rusty gears unused for too long turning in his head once more as he considered how best to handle the situation. There was no need for him to hurry after them; he knew, like all good predators knew, that sometimes it was better to let the prey exhaust themselves than to actively give chase.

He followed them outside, idly trailing Hiroki's footprints in the snow through the almost-deserted parking lot out to the street, well past the mall's security cameras. There Hiroki stood, leaning against a street sign and panting as the red taillights of Tia's car could be seen fading into the shadows of the night as the snow continued to fall.

Tyn felt mildly irritated that she'd forgot about him but all things considered, he thought that he could let it slide this time.

Besides, it was better this way.

"I knew better…" Hiroki was saying to himself, oblivious to Tyn's presence. "I _knew_ better than to push my luck again…now I've lost both of them! This night couldn't _possibly _get any worse!"

He turned around to head back to the mall, and the color drained from his face as he realized that he wasn't alone in the dark. The toothy grin spreading across the redhead's face was best described as inhuman and as a hand shot out and clasped itself around his neck tightly, Hiroki would have sworn at that moment he was looking at a demon instead of a man, and he knew that he'd been wrong about tonight.

Things were about to get _much_ worse.


	26. Not so Silent Night II

**Not-So-Silent Night II**

According to human philosophy, vengeance was a dish best served cold.

Of the Espada, only Ulquiorra would have been likely to agree with such a sentiment as they each handled emotions differently. For Tyn, vengeance was a dish best served with the horrifying truth of the situation and marinated in raw terror.

Hiroki _had_ to know what he'd stepped into, had to know what he was dealing with.

Tyn's plan was hazy at best, but it was slowly taking shape as he trudged through the snow; at first, he'd thought about tearing Hiroki's filthy human head off right there at the end of the street in a glorious shower of crimson gore, but that was too quick, too painless…too _public_. The masquerade had to be maintained at all costs for the safety of the others, so open murder was out of the question.

But if Hiroki were to simply vanish…

The snow-covered sidewalks were mostly deserted as Tyn made his way towards his destination, with Hiroki's unconscious form slung over his shoulder limply. Most people he met during his journey paid the two no mind, but for those few that did there was always a laughing smile and the explanation that his 'friend' had simply drank too much at the bar.

He couldn't decide if people were really foolish enough to believe him, or if a lie, even a blatantly obvious one, somehow set their conscience at ease for failing to intervene.

The man over his shoulder groaned, and Tyn grinned as he reached their target; an innocent-looking building, an empty shop whose occupants had left town until after the new year. In Urahara's training chamber so far beneath the earth, no one would ever hear any screams and no one would ever witness any horrors that might happen.

Still, Urahara's place was only a way station on their journey as Tyn had somewhere _much_ more isolated in mind.

The very nature of a gigai limited his true strength, but he still had more than enough to shatter the lock and force the door open. There was a part of him that hated using Urahara's place like this as he stepped inside, especially after Yoruichi's kindness last night, but he had no alternative.

And Kisuke Urahara, for all his genius, had failed to install a security system or cameras since the shop was almost never left unattended. The need had never been there before, as the shop had virtually nothing of interest to human thieves, and if the culprit was nonhuman…well, the police couldn't exactly arrest a spirit being, and the culprit could always blow the shop and all evidence into a thousand tiny pieces as he was leaving.

That wasn't to say Urahara _wouldn't_ take an interest in the broken lock, or wouldn't notice if anything was even the slightest bit out of place; no, he'd begin dusting for fingerprints and likely build some sort of device to identify traces of _reiatsu_ left behind and snoop his way back to whoever was responsible.

No matter what he did, Urahara would know that he'd been here.

He had a plan for that, though.

Tia had remarked earlier in the evening about how his exile had changed him and dulled his mind, how he'd lost his cunning and deviousness during that time…

_How very naïve…_

His time alone had affected him, but he hadn't lost _that_ much of his mind.

However 'unhinged' he may have become during his exile, he was still a well-honed killing machine, still a devious monster with all the instincts and knowledge of an apex predator. Those aspects of his personality still surfaced every now and then when he needed them most; his battle with Grimmjow, his light sleeping, his brawl with Tia…

If those traits had ever dulled at all, they certainly felt as sharp as ever here and now.

No one hurt a member of his pack and got away with it, _no one_. Hell, he'd have gone after Aizen had he not been watching over Tia and Starrk, even though he knew it would have ended in a violent, horrible death.

Tyn opened the trap door that led down into the chamber and after securing his not-quite-awake-yet prisoner, began the long descent down the ladder.

In the end, Urahara wouldn't be completely convinced of his story, but he'd also lack any concrete proof that Tyn was lying. And afterwards, the shop would very likely have hidden security cameras installed to prevent such a thing from ever happening again.

But that was the future, and in the here and now there was a job that had to be done.

He was still a few feet up from the bottom when he heaved Hiroki from his shoulder and to the unforgiving rocky bottom where he landed with a yelp of pain. Tyn slid down the rest of the ladder's length to the ground, before turning around to face the now-awake human with a chilling grin.

"Where are we?" asked Hiroki, scrambling backwards across the dirt. "Where have you taken me? What are you going to do?"

"Nothing…_yet_." said Tyn, taking a rather perverse pleasure in watching the human pale at the 'yet' part. "First, I thought we'd have a little talk…make a few things clear."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" cried Hiroki, "I didn't mean to hurt her, honest! Please, I'll make everything right!"

"See, the thing is…" said Tyn, removing his Soul Candy from his pocket, "is that you don't really _know_ her. Or me. Or any of us. Unlike you, I want to be _honest_ about what I am."

He swallowed the green pill and popped free of his gigai, savoring the feel of being unrestrained. Had he done this outside, the Soul Society would know about his existence in a matter of seconds and come screaming after him, but down here, hidden away behind the barrier Kisuke built around this chamber…

The artificial soul inhabiting his gigai looked at him for instructions as Hiroki looked confused, unable to perceive Tyn in his true form; as far as the human knew, nothing had changed.

"I'm not human, you see…" said the gigai, echoing its master's words for Hiroki's benefit. "None of us are. But you can't _see_ the real us as you are now; you can only see our artificial bodies. I'm free of mine now, and my gigai is relaying my every word to you so that you can understand better."

"You're crazy…or high." said Hiroki, slowly getting to his feet. "What was that pill? Some sort of drug? A hallucinogen?"

"We have to hide in false bodies to interact with the human world normally, and to 'protect' it from our very existence…" the gigai continued as the real Tyn closed in on the oblivious human, "Continuous exposure to high concentrations of _reiatsu_ can adversely affect things in the world of the living."

He clamped a hand around Hiroki's throat, easily lifting him off the ground with a smirk as the human struggled to break free from the iron grip of an invisible attacker. Tyn resisted the urge to choke him, knowing it would be all too easy to snap his neck now, and instead simply held him tight and began to focus his spiritual energy into his hand, willing it to flow to Hiroki and effect him.

"High concentrations can awaken dormant abilities in a special few, or allow others to perceive the spirits around them, and even crush the life out of a victim who has no defense against the onslaught." said the gigai as Tyn purposefully applied too much pressure for a brief second, chuckling darkly as Hiroki's lungs seized up and became unable to breath from the dense spiritual pressure that was literally drowning him.

"You need to _see _my Master…" said the gigai of it's own accord as Tyn reigned in his _reiatsu_ enough to let Hiroki breathe once more. "He very much wishes to have a word with you."

The growing terror in Hiroki's eyes told the arrancar that it was beginning to work, that the human was beginning to perceive _something_ holding him at arm's length.

"Almost there, aren't we?" Tyn asked.

"What was that?" asked Hiroki, still pulling at the now semi-visible hand around his throat. "I heard a voice somewhere…"

Hiroki began to struggle more violently for a few seconds before growing very still and looking directly into Tyn's amber eyes in horror, signaling that the human could now see him clearly.

"Can you hear me now?" asked the Espada with a toothy grin as he dropped Hiroki to the ground.

"What…what's going on?" he asked, looking from the gigai to Tyn. "What _are_ you?"

"All in due time, worm…" said Tyn, turning to his gigai. "I'll be back shortly; be waiting on top of the high school for me, and be sure to shut the trap door on the way out…front door, too, if you can."

"Yes, Master!" obliged the artificial soul heading for the ladder as Tyn turned back to Hiroki.

"Now, let's you and me take a little trip…" he said, snapping his fingers and watching a jagged black hole tear itself open in front of them.

"Please, no…" Hiroki begged as he fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face now. "Please, I'm sorry!"

Tyn growled as he reached down and seized the sniveling man's shirt collar, hauling him up to his feet and into the black abyss.

"No, you're not. Not _yet_."

* * *

The scenic route had _definitely_ been the way to go.

With the way his stomach was growling now, Ulquiorra was fairly confident that he would be able to force himself to eat Orihime's Christmas dinner and keep it down, and if not, he had a sack full of dinner rolls that would never know the horrors of red bean paste.

Perhaps he could try convincing the woman that he had developed an allergy to that cursed bean paste…

His musings were cut short as he noticed a figure further down the sidewalk and across the street, a suspicious-looking figure carrying another person over his shoulder.

Normally Ulquiorra would have been content to continue on his way and leave the humans to their own devices, but he didn't mind the idea of staying out of the house for a while longer. Besides, more time away now would only increase his chances of being able to enjoy dinner later.

The _cuarto_ increased his pace as he crossed the street and hurried to catch up to the figure, wondering if perhaps he was witness to someone dumping off a dead body. If that was the case, should he report it? It was, as Orihime would say, the 'right' thing to do, but what if the police began asking him too many uncomfortable questions, and began probing too far into the background Urahara had fabricated for him? If they were to discover that his birth certificate and education records were all forgeries, the masquerade could very well be ruined…

Well, he'd just have to find a payphone somewhere and make an anonymous call, then.

Wait a minute… He recognized this neighborhood; this was the way to Urahara's shop!

Ulquiorra had _thought_ the ex-captain had gone to the Soul Society for the holidays, taking all of his companions from the shop with him, but maybe he was wrong. He squinted his eyes against the snow blowing in his face, thinking that perhaps it was Kisuke carrying a gigai over his shoulder…

Except Kisuke didn't have red hair.

And the 'gigai' was Halibel's boyfriend.

Damn it all.

He watched Tyn force the door to the shop open, shattering the lock and vanishing inside as the winds continued to whip the snow around outside, making the disappearing act appear almost like a magic trick. Ulquiorra darted to the front of the shop, pressing his back against the wall and stealing a glance inside only to see nothing.

Carefully, Ulquiorra stepped inside the empty shop and working his way to the back and the trap door that led downstairs, knowing that it was Tyn's most likely destination.

The trap door in question was open when he arrived, and the Espada dropped to his knees and peered down into the hole just in time to see Tyn, the _real_ Tyn, release Hiroki to the ground before turning around to say something to his gigai. It was impossible to make out what was being said from this distance, but it didn't matter; Tyn was obviously planning to kill the human, and there was no way Ulquiorra could allow that to happen.

He didn't particularly _like_ Hiroki, nor did he care about the 'sanctity of human life,' but Tyn's actions could endanger them all; Urahara had made them all agree to a strict 'No Murder' pact when they'd first come to Karakura with the understanding that if they broke that verbal contract, he would inform the Seireitei about their continued existence.

And now Tyn was going to use Urahara's own training chamber as a killing field.

He was about to call for Tyn to halt and descend the ladder when the _quinto_ snapped his fingers and a familiar black anomaly began to tear itself open, an unseen zipper ripping apart the sky and exposing an inky, unforgiving blackness.

A _garganta_.

He wasn't going to do the deed here; Tyn was going to spirit his victim away to Hueco Mundo.

Damn!

Ulquiorra called out for him to stop, but it was too late; the _garganta_ was already closing and Tyn was beyond earshot.

The dinner rolls forgotten, Ulquiorra dropped his sack on the floor and began to swiftly climb down the ladder, forcing Tyn's gigai to go back down itself or be kicked off as they met in the middle.

"Where is he taking him?" demanded Ulquiorra. "The palace? The Western Dune Sea? The Menos Forest?"

"I don't know!" said the gigai defensively, holding up it's hands submissively. "Master didn't tell me where he was going!"

"What _did_ he tell you, then?" asked the _cuarto_ as he pulled out his own Soul Candy and swallowed the pill quickly, allowing his spirit form to free itself from his own gigai.

"Just that he'd be back shortly, and that I should meet him on the roof of the high school!" exclaimed the redheaded faux body.

"I see…" said Ulquiorra, the pieces coming together quickly.

The barrier in the training chamber hid spiritual pressure from the outside world, and while it allowed a portal to go _out_ from the barrier, none could come _in_.

The _garganta_ technique was a useful one for traveling between the realms; if one knew exactly where he wanted to go, he could open a portal directly to it, unless that location was guarded by a barrier. The high school was not protected by a barrier, though, and with his _sonido_ Tyn could easily make it from the portal to his gigai in a split-second, most likely before the Soul Society could ever detect him.

And even if they _did_ detect him, their radar screens would only register him for an instant, giving a single beep before going silent once more. Anyone looking at the screen would likely think it was just a minor 'hiccup' in the system.

His departure from the human world would never be detected, and his return would likely be just as stealthy.

Clever.

And Hiroki's corpse, of course, would be left to rot in the endless sands of Hueco Mundo, where neither the human police or the shinigami would ever find it.

"Go with him." Ulquiorra ordered his gigai, gesturing to Tyn's body. "One way or the other, I shall return soon. Be ready for my arrival."

"Yes, Milord." responded the pale gigai, bowing as Ulquiorra opened his own _garganta_ bound for the ruined palace of Los Noches.

* * *

The night couldn't _possibly_ get any worse.

It was cold, it was wet, it was snowing, he'd just spent the past eight hours in a goddamned fat suit pretending to be Santa Claus and letting a bunch of whiny brats sit on his lap and tell him all about the stupid crap they wanted for Christmas, three of them had actually _peed_ on him, and then Tyn and Tia had seen him.

Just fucking _perfect_.

If there had been any truth to the holiday at all, Grimmjow would have been willing to pop his Soul Candy right then and make a beeline for the North Pole and leave nothing but charred reindeer corpses and bite-sized Elf bits in his wake.

He pulled his blue scarf around his face tighter and shivered as he trudged his way home through the snow, cursing the entire time. Stupid Christmas. Stupid Mall. Stupid Ulquiorra! Jail would have been preferable to the humiliation of pretending to be a fat pedophile Elf!

At least it was all over now; this had been the last night of the Santa gig, and he was free now.

Of course, Tyn and Tia had discovered his little secret now, which left his freedom feeling a lot less sweet than it should.

He passed an alleyway and caught the whiff of a body in the shadow, something several hours dead and freezing solid in the snow and ice. He smiled grimly, the thought of a hobo-cicle propped up against a dumpster making him feel better already.

The _sexta_ headed into the darkened alleyway, his keen eyes searching for a humanoid shape in the snow. Hell, maybe he should take the hobo-cicle and leave it on Kurosaki's doorstep for him…

"Merry Christmas, jackass…" snickered Grimmjow at the mental image of Ichigo opening his door the next morning, stepping outside, tripping over the frozen bum and falling face-first into the thick sheet of ice covering the concrete of his front porch.

Unfortunately, he saw nothing and with a scowl, Grimmjow turned to leave the alleyway, cursing his nose for misleading him.

And then he tripped.

The snow padded his fall, saving him from the same bloody-faced fate of Kurosaki from his earlier daydream. Still, the pissed-off panther whirled around to see what had gotten in his way and saw the body of an alley cat partially buried in the snow.

A white kitten with blue eyes meowed mournfully, nudging at the body with it's nose.

"Looks like you're having a pretty shitty Christmas, too, huh, kid?" asked Grimmjow, getting back up to his feet and dusting the snow off his person as the kitten looked up at him.

"She's dead, junior; better accept it and move on before you freeze to death, too." he added, leaving the alleyway.

He'd only made it a few steps when he heard a faint 'meowing' sound behind him, and Grimmjow turned to find the kitten trudging along behind him, it's head barely above the ever-deepening snow.

"No way, kid!" he barked, looking down at his tiny follower. "I ain't got the room at my place, you hear me? Find some other sucker to shack up with!"

"Meow?"

"Don't give me _that_!" snapped Grimmjow, scooping the cat up in his hands and holding it at arm's length. "I can't take you in, brat!"

"Meow?"

"Don't look at me like that! I'm _not_ the bad guy here; I'm being practical!" cried the _sexta_ as a human walked by and looked at him as if he were insane.

"What the fuck are _you_ looking at, jackass?" bellowed the arrancar, watching the man hurry off down the street. Satisfied that the human filth was gone, he turned his attention back to the cat and pulled it closer to his face.

"Not happening, junior." said Grimmjow, shaking his head slowly for emphasis. "I can't do it."

"Meow?" said the cat, cocking it's head as it placed a tiny paw on Grimmjow's nose and managed to elicit a defeated sigh from the arrancar.

"Okay, but _just_ for tonight, you hear me? Just for tonight!"

* * *

God damn it.

God damn it all.

How had she been so blind?

Tia slammed the apartment door shut behind her and flung her keys over to the car, unzipping her snow-laden coat and letting it fall to the floor as she made her way to her bedroom. It baffled her as to how she couldn't have seen it coming; working on Christmas Eve, really? He was a mid-level accountant in an office building, not a friggin' doctor!

And she'd very nearly given herself to him…had been there in the apartment with him, had shed their clothes and were becoming _very_ well acquainted with each other's body…and then an unnamed feeling of guilt had stabbed her in the gut and forced her to back away. She'd compromised by putting her underclothes back on, as he had, and staying the night in his arms, feeling even _more_ guilt for having led him on. She apologized profusely in the morning, had promised to make it up to him someday…

And now _this_…

While she was thankful for her cold feet _now_, Tia had felt so much guilt at the time…and for _what_?

She slammed a fist into her bedroom wall, knocking a head-sized hole clean through into the living room.

God, she'd wanted to _kill _him at the mall, had wanted to tear his very heart from his chest and stomp on it, just as he had done to her own non-existent heart. No one betrayed her, _no one_! She'd swore after Aizen's betrayal and attempt to kill her that she'd never allow herself to be lied to and used again, that she would be more vigilant in who she trusted…

Damn it all!

If not for the need to maintain the masquerade, for her own sake as well as that of the others, she'd have _gladly_ murdered Hiroki right then and there, coating the entire mall in his filthy human blood.

Fucking hell, it wasn't supposed to feel like _this_, wasn't supposed to hurt… She didn't have a heart, for the love of God! How could this hurt so fucking much?

It wasn't fair, it really wasn't; hadn't she been through enough with the war? Had she not suffered enough when she lost Sung-Sun, Mila Rose, and Apacci to the damnedable old man? If nothing else, wasn't it enough to have felt the searing pain of Aizen's blade as he so casually dismissed her from his service and spat on the sacrifices she and her fracción had made in his name?

Christmas wasn't supposed to be like this, not according to television!

Everything had been going pretty well, too; she'd been enjoying her time out with Tyn, and-

_Tyn!_

She'd forgotten all about her roommate in her moment of rage and had left him at the mall…with Hiroki.

Tyn, left alone with Hiroki, with no one to stop him from giving in to the animosity he'd been harboring for weeks now…

Oh, _fuck_.

Despite how angry she was and how much she wanted Hiroki to pay for his sins in blood, she couldn't let Tyn kill him. She grabbed her keys and slid her coat back on as she slipped out into the hall and ran for the elevator, hoping she wasn't too late

* * *

He wasn't anywhere near Los Noches.

Ulquiorra stood on top of the pile of rubble that had once been the great domed palace of Los Noches, having no doubt been destroyed during the last incursion by the shinigami. He'd thought Tyn might bring his prey here, but the raptor was nowhere to be seen and Ulquiorra couldn't feel his _reiatsu_ anywhere nearby, either.

He stretched out with his own spiritual pressure as far as he could, hoping to find the Tyn before he had a chance to dismember the human. He could sense dozens of ordinary adjuchas in the area and a handful of gillians, but nothing…

There, at the farthest edge of the Southern Dune Sea, near an opening that led down into the Menos Forest…

Ulquiorra took a deep breath, inhaling the succulent, _reiatsu_-heavy air of Hueco Mundo and letting it flood his lungs before he took off, using his _sonido_ and hoping he could make it there in time.

* * *

_God, Buddha, Allah, anyone, PLEASE! Get me through this and I swear I will never lie again, never cheat on another woman… I'll volunteer for missionary work out in the Congo! Please, anything!_

If there was a God, he didn't seem to be accepting prayers today.

Hiroki found himself in a land of white sand and near-total darkness with only a few sparkling pin-pricks of light dotting the sky. To the north, west, and east were endless sand dunes stretching out as far as the eye could see, and just a few meters south was a mammoth cave opening that looked as if it led into the very bowels of Hell itself.

"Depressing, isn't it?" asked Tyn conversationally. "Welcome to the Southern Dune Sea. I spent a lot of my time in exile wandering around this area."

Yes, the exile… During the trip through the black hole in time and space, the _garganta_ as Tyn had called it, the redhead had regaled him with the entire story of what he was, of what the others were, of Hueco Mundo and the war with beings called Soul Reapers… Tyn had literally dragged him the entire way, walking along a path of crystalline ice that formed underneath the monster's feet with every step through the darkness, and on either side of the path lay nothing but an infinite abyss, blacker than the very night itself.

And then they had arrived in this land of sand and despair; Hueco Mundo, the land where the night was never-ending, and Tyn had roughly flung him several meters away, into a sand dune.

"If you look to the north, that way, "said Tyn casually pointing it out as if this were simply a guided tour, "you can see the remains of Los Noches… Looks like the shinigami raped it pretty good after we left."

Hiroki glanced as the massive structure that he'd at first mistaken for a mountain, but he could now recognize as a giant pile of rubble the likes of which he'd never seen. Jesus, the palace must have been the size of a city! He glanced back at Tyn and saw heads with white, masked faces peering out from the mouth of the cave now, all looking at him with hunger in their eyes.

"Don't worry about them…" said Tyn, not bothering to look over his shoulder at the other monsters as he kept walking towards Hiroki, "They understand the way the food chain works around here; they know that I'm at the top, and they're not."

"And I'm at the very bottom, aren't I?" asked Hiroki, swallowing hard.

"Well, you're a quick study, aren't you?" grinned the menacing creature with the mostly-human face as he neared.

"Please…" begged Hiroki as he got to his feet, "I made a mistake, I _know_ that now. If you let me live, I _swear_ I'll make it up to her! I'll do anything you say, I promise!"

It bothered him to know that Tia was like Tyn, an undead monster that had once been some kind of ghost; the thought that he had been kissing such a creature involuntarily sent shivers of disgust down his spine, and he saw the disapproval reflecting in Tyn's inhuman amber eyes.

"Plenty of males around here would give _anything _to have the favor of the Shark Queen as you had…" Tyn said, reaching a hand up to rub his mask-covered chin, fingering a sharp, tooth-like protrusion that came to a stop just a few millimeters short of his bottom lip. "Of the precious few females who survive Hueco Mundo, none can compare to her, and having seen the human world first hand, I see little difference there."

"You're right, you're absolutely right!" Hiroki agreed as Tyn came to a stop arm's length away and slowly moved his arm up towards Hiroki's chest. "She's perfect, and I was a fool! Please, give me another chance to make it right!"

"Make it right?" asked Tyn. "The only way you can make it right now is to bleed for me. For _her_."

The monster casually flicked a finger into Hiroki's chest, and pain exploded throughout his body as he went flying backwards, bouncing across the rough sand mercilessly. Ten meters, twenty meters, thirty before he came to a stop half-buried in a dune. His chest ached and burned worse than any pain he'd ever felt in his life, and Hiroki carefully prodded at it to see if any ribs were broken.

No, but only barely.

With just a light flick of his finger.

_Jesus!_

"And she's _far _stronger than I am…" Tyn was saying as he slowly closed in on Hiroki again. "So powerful, and yet she allowed herself to fall in love with such a weak, _disgusting_ creature… You were _never_ worthy of her time, human."

"I…I know…" coughed Hiroki, spitting up a mouthful of crimson blood onto the white sand. "I'm garbage…I know that now… Please, have mercy on me…"

"Mercy? HA!" laughed Tyn cruelly as he stood over the fallen human. "Look around you! Mercy doesn't _exist_ here! It's survival of the fittest day in and day out! Kill or be killed! There is no mercy, and _no one _to save you!"

Tyn drew his sword, madness twinkling in his amber eyes.

"This will not be fast." he promised darkly, "Or painless. Not after what you've done."

The redheaded beast drove his sword toward Hiroki's right shoulder, aiming to impale it with such speed that it was impossible to dodge. He'd barely had time to register the blade was even moving…and then it came to an abrupt halt, with nothing but the very tip of the ivory blade piercing his skin.

A figure stood between them now, clad entirely in white, with a pale hand wrapped tightly around the deadly blade of Tyn's sword. Hiroki could see nothing else of his savior save for his back, and the long tails of his jacket danced about on the wind just in front of Hiroki's nose.

"I cannot allow this, Five." said an eerily calm and somewhat familiar voice.

"Ulquiorra…" hissed Tyn as he jerked his sword free. "Stay out of this! He betrayed Tia, _hurt_ her! He has to pay!"

"Is that so?" asked the other man, turning to look over his shoulder and down at the still half-buried human.

Hiroki recognized the pale man now and those strange green eyes, noting that he looked much the same here as he did back in Karakura, save for the green lines that looked like tears coming down from his eyes and the bone-like partial helmet covering one side of his head.

"I'm sorry! Please, give me a chance-"

"Regardless of his transgressions, I cannot allow you to murder him. We made a vow not to kill humans when we moved to Karakura."

"Thank you thank you thank you!" babbled Hiroki to his unlikely hero.

Ulquiorra drew his own sword, grabbing the blade with his other hand and slicing it open. The pale monster examined the wound for a second before flinging the blood all over Hiroki's face.

"Smear that into your skin…" commanded Ulquiorra, turning back to face Tyn. "And get as far away from here as you can; my scent should keep the lesser hollows at bay for a while. I'll find you when I'm finished here."

"Don't do this, Ulquiorra…" growled Tyn, tightening his grip on his own white sword as Hiroki began to vigorously rub the blood all over his face and arms. "You _know_ I'm in the right here. He _has_ to pay for what he's done to her!"

"Had we not all made an agreement, I would let you take your revenge…" said Ulquiorra impassively. "His life means nothing to me."

"Then stand aside!" roared Tyn as Hiroki finally turned and fled into the desert. "You can make an exception this _one_ time!"

"No, I cannot. This is for the greater good of _all_ of us, Tyn; you and Halibel included."

"I won't let you stop me, Ulquiorra… If you won't let me go around you, I'll go _through_ you!"

"You would _kill_ a member of the pack you craved for so long?" asked Ulquiorra, not sounding at all convinced of Tyn's threat.

"I don't have to _kill_ you…I just have to _beat _you!" exclaimed Tyn, growling as he raised his sword in preparation for battle.

"You will not find it so easy, Tyn." said Ulquiorra, his voice devoid the slightest hint of emotion over the pending fight.

"Don't underestimate me, Four!" spat the redhead bitterly.

"I do not intend to. Enclose, _Murciélago_!"


	27. Not so Silent Night III

**Not-So-Silent Night III**

In Hueco Mundo, it was a well-known fact that challenging a _Vasto Lorde _was suicide.

The Vasto Lordes were far and away the most powerful creatures in all of Hueco Mundo, and their natural strength was said to surpass that of a shinigami captain. They were the respective kings and queens of the desert, the true masters of this shadowy wasteland and only a complete fool would dare face one in combat.

"Damn…" growled Tyn, sluggishly pulling his arm across the now-crimson sand and using it to push himself up off his stomach and back up to his knees.

Ulquiorra's first move upon releasing his zanpaktou had been to immediately disarm Tyn, knocking _Garras Rapaces _from his hands and sending it flying out to a nearby sand dune where it still lay. His second move was a near-instantaneous follow-up where he'd used his claws to slash deep into the _quinto's_ thighs to destroy his speed and mobility.

Tyn's greatest strength had always been his overwhelming speed, but the cold and calculating Demon Bat of Los Noches was well-aware of that fact and had made sure to hamstring the outmatched _quinto_.

"This does not need to continue…" said Ulquiorra from behind him. "Surrender, and we can return to Karakura."

"Not until I kill the human." snarled Tyn defiantly, looking over at his waiting zanpaktou as Ulquiorra moved to stand in his way, blocking Tyn's path to salvation.

His only hope in this fight, however slim, was to reach his zanpaktou and use his own resurrección, but that had been why the clever _cuarto_ had disarmed and crippled him in the first place.

But…

Ulquiorra had always boasted the fastest and most efficient regenerative abilities of all the Espada by far, and while Tyn was nowhere near his level, he wasn't nearly as slow as the others, either.

Ulquiorra's legs would have healed from the wounds already, but Tyn had to buy himself a few more precious seconds for the gashes to close and the muscles to knit themselves back together. He had to continue to act severely wounded and _hope_ that Ulquiorra failed to noticed the wound's status, and when the moment was right he would make a run for _Garras Rapaces_.

Tyn struggled to get to his feet, making sure to give Ulquiorra an arrogant smirk for good measure as he did so; if the _cuarto_ had one weakness, it was his intolerance for insolence in battle. He believed that the losing party should accept defeat gracefully rather than keep fighting a hopeless battle, and to show any soft of confidence in the face of such overwhelming odds _always_ managed to provoke a quiet fury in Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra was on him in at instant, one black-clawed hand wrapped tightly around Tyn's throat as he lifted the redhead into the air. The bat spread his giant, leathery wings out dramatically in a ploy to intimidate Tyn into submission, but the raptor maintained his cocky grin.

"Why do you resist?" asked Ulquiorra, a gust of desert wind blowing his now-long, ebony hair out behind him. "Why fight a battle you cannot win? You were the six when Grimmjow held the rank of ninth, and in those days _I _was the fifth. I have always been more powerful than you, and time has only increased the difference between us."

"The difference between five and six is pretty small, and so is the difference between four and five!" answered Tyn defiantly, slamming a fist in Ulquiorra's chest to no effect other than bruising his own knuckles.

"It is infinitely more than you seem to realize." said the imposing demon, slamming a powerful fist into Tyn's own chest with his free hand as he released his hold on the _quinto's_ throat.

Tyn went tumbling end over in across the sand, his ribs aching as they _tried_ to knit themselves back together despite his body still being in motion. He left a trail of blood in his wake, blood that was seeping from a dozen different wounds of varying sizes across his body.

Except for his legs.

He came to a stop on the far side of the sand dune that held _Garras Rapaces_, the blade sticking into the sand and the handle pointing skyward as it waited patiently for it's master. Ulquiorra seemed unconcerned with having the sword being between them now, an indication that he had indeed missed the fact Tyn's legs were no longer gimped.

"I do not wish to continue this pointless endeavor, Tyn." Ulquiorra was saying as he calmly walked towards the other arrancar who was just now pushing himself to his feet again. "Surrender and let us end this nonsense."

"Pointless?" asked the raptor, standing tall and flashing another arrogant smirk. "I'm not finished yet."

He saw the realization dawn in Ulquiorra's eyes then and the _cuarto_ reacted instantly, making haste to get to the zanpaktou before Tyn could. Still, however fast Ulquiorra's reaction may have been, he could never hope to best a healthy Tyn in a race as the raptor's hand closed around the hilt of _Garras Rapaces_ well before the Demon Bat even got within a meter of the prize.

"Rend, _Garras Rapaces_!"

* * *

The good news was that there were no flashing lights and sirens at the mall, no sign of any police, and no yellow 'crime scene' tape thrown up everywhere. The bad news was that the mall had closed over an hour ago, and Hiroki's car was still parked in the lot, having been seemingly abandoned.

Halibel drove through the almost-empty parking lot slowly, eyes scanning for anything out of place, any patch of red on the snow that shouldn't be there. She even parked and got out of her car to check Hiroki's, making sure that there wasn't a body crammed inside it.

No blood, no body, no evidence of any wrong-doing at all… It _should_ have helped put her at ease, should have been the end of it all…except that she _knew_ Tyn too well; he wouldn't let this pass without spilling blood. The burning question was where was the evidence? What had he done with it all? Surely he hadn't given Hiroki's body the same treatment as the neighbor girl's poor cat…

She climbed back into her own car and drove off slowly, taking the long way home and watching the sidewalks carefully. Maybe Tyn had disposed of the body in one of the many alleyways between the mall and home, maybe he'd taken Hiroki down to the river and dumped him into the freezing waters…

"I never should have left them alone." she sighed to herself.

In an ideal world, Tyn would have the self-control to _not_ do anything foolish and violent. In an ideal world, he would respect the restraint Tia herself had shown by walking away and would do the same. In this ideal world, he would pick up some dinner on the way home and then spend the evening sitting on the couch with her, just keeping her company and showing quiet support.

Of course, in an ideal world, all of this would be a moot point because Hiroki wouldn't have been a two-timing douchebag.

She was about to give up her search and go home to wait for Tyn to finally drag himself in when she passed the Karakura high school and noticed a pair of figures sitting on the roof. It was very odd that anyone would be on the roof of the school at this time of night, on Christmas Eve, in this kind of cold, snowy weather, and 'very odd' translated to 'very suspicious.'

She parked the car on the side of the road and stepped out, squinting her sea-green eyes against the falling snow in an attempt to make out the two figures on the rooftop. Maybe they were just teen vandals, or maybe…

"Tyn and Ulquiorra?" she asked aloud, confused. Where was Hiroki? What was Ulquiorra doing with Tyn, and why were they hanging out on the roof of the high school?

Sighing, she walked onto the campus and past the swinging gate that had been unceremoniously broken, eyeing the two males on the roof and wondering just what the holy hell they were up to. God, why couldn't anything ever be simple with Tyn?

"What the hell are you two morons up to?" called Halibel from the ground, folding her arms across her chest as she waited for an answer.

"Hi, Lady Halibel!" called Tyn cheerfully and Tia froze in her tracks. Tyn, the real Tyn, _never_ called her 'Lady' for anything, not even out of sarcasm, not even when they were still living in Los Noches. She glanced over at Ulquiorra, who was smiling brightly and waving enthusiastically at her, and any remaining doubt she may have had about what was going on evaporated.

Those were simply their gigais, being controlled by artificial souls; the _real_ Tyn and Ulquiorra were somewhere else and since she couldn't imagine them being foolish enough to wander around Karakura in their spirit forms, that meant they had to be at Urahara's shop, safely hidden away behind the barrier.

But why let their gigais wander away from the shop, unless…

"Oh, no…" she breathed, the most-likely scenario forming in her head.

Tyn had taken Hiroki to the shop, had left his gigai and tore open a _garganta_ to Hueco Mundo to ensure that the human was never found, and the high school was going to be his return point. Ulquiorra would never go along with such a plan, so he had to have been following Tyn, which meant…

"_Shit!_" she snarled, taking off in a sprint back to the car, hopping inside and firing up the engine and heading for Urahara's shop as fast as she could, traffic laws be damned.

The _cuarto_ would try to stop Tyn from breaking their pact of not killing humans, and if the raptor wouldn't listen to reason…

Ulquiorra was going to kill him.

* * *

There was something to be said for the joy of watching a child eagerly tear open a carefully-wrapped Christmas present and then to observe the happiness on their face when they beheld their gift. It was a feeling that the _primera_ had never imagined prior to this night, a feeling that simply could not have existed in Hueco Mundo. It was alien to him, foreign…

And he enjoyed every second of it.

Lilynette has wasted no time going to her room and changing into her new soccer clothes, even though it was far too cold to go outside and play at the moment. Instead, she was jogging around the apartment bouncing her new soccer ball on her knee and babbling about how she couldn't wait for warmer weather to go out and play with her friends.

He'd been more reserved when opening his own gift, of course; he had to at least _pretend_ to be a responsible adult, after all.

Still, he couldn't deny a bit of childish joy welling up deep inside when he'd found his gift to be a box set of classic western movies.

Starrk had dreams sometimes, dreams of tumbleweeds and dirt, complete with the sounds of thundering hooves and steam locomotives chugging across a barren landscape and the smells of old leather and gunpowder… He wasn't sure if the dreams were _just_ dreams, or fragments of memories from a life lost long ago; he couldn't consciously remember his human life, and he'd never cared to try and uncover his past out of fear of what he might find.

Who or what he may have once been was irrelevant now, but that didn't mean that he couldn't enjoy a good cowboy movie or two…or ten.

"This 'Christmas' thing is pretty fun…" Lilynette said finally putting a rest to bouncing her soccer ball about as she plopped down on the couch. "We should have gotten everyone together and all had a big party."

"Maybe next year." Starrk said.

"You think the others are having as much fun?"

"I'm sure that they're all having a merry Christmas right about now."

* * *

Knowledge.

Knowledge was the one thing Ulquiorra had ever truly craved. Raw, physical power and overwhelming spiritual pressure were helpful items when there were goals to be achieved, but true power came from possessing knowledge on everything from the world itself to the abilities of one's enemies.

A lack of good knowledge could lead one into disaster and ensure defeat.

As the three-fingered, black-clawed hand on the back of his head forced his face into the sand and squeezed his skull tightly as if he meant to crush it entirely, Ulquiorra realized that he'd had a very significant gap in his knowledge regarding the _quinto_.

Tyn's regenerative abilities had far exceeded his expectations, his _resurrección_ was considerably more powerful than anticipated, and while in his released form, Tyn was much more savage than normal. Ulquiorra reluctantly acknowledged that the _quinto's_ released form might even be slightly more powerful than his own.

"You should have stayed out of it, Four!" screeched the beast on his back, pressing down on his spine with a powerful foot and Ulquiorra could feel the tip of the wickedly-curved sickle-claw on Tyn's foot pressed into his flesh firmly, digging into the skin and allowing blood to pour out and run down his sides to pool in the sand.

Ulquiorra pushed his hands underneath his body and began to push back against Tyn as he tried to extract his face from the bloodied desert sands, but the slow resistance wasn't gaining him any ground in this battle of strength. Not one to give up when he _knew_ he had the true advantage, an ace yet to be played, Ulquiorra ceased struggling for a moment and allowed Tyn to slam his face back down into the rough sand.

"Give it up, Ulquiorra!" roared Tyn, his voice distorted by his new form, "In this form, I'm _stronger_ than you are! Just let me kill him and this will all be over!"

"I will _not_ surrender to the likes of you, Five." declared the _cuarto_, summoning all his strength and shoving himself upwards in one mighty heave, throwing Tyn from his back.

Ulquiorra turned around, wiping a bit of blood from his mouth as he watched the raptor get back to his feet and crouch low, giving an ear-splitting screech of rage and raw aggression.

Gone was any semblance of looking human for Tyn; the pieces of flesh not covered by white, armor-like boney plates, had taken on a dark, steel-gray color that gave all the appearance of being a thick, leathery hide, his digits all ended in black claws, with an exceptionally-large, sickle-shaped talon on each foot that was made for disemboweling prey. The remnants of his mask no longer covered his mandible and instead framed the edges of his snout-like face, and his bloody-crimson hair had become a wild plume of bright red feathers that seemed to be sprouting out from beneath the remains of the mask.

His screech was loud enough to reverberate across the desert for many miles and Ulquiorra could see every sharp, dagger-like tooth inside his gaping maw. The very tip of his snout had a small bony hook to it, curving down just slightly like a primitive beak, and there was little doubt that it could strip flesh from bone with the utmost ease.

Given what he knew of Tyn's _adjuchas-_form prior to becoming an arrancar, the creature before him now was nearly identical save for the lack of a tail and the presence of armor plates covering his torso, thighs, forearms, and shins; he was truly a predatory creature built for overwhelming speed and explosive physical power.

Raptor Prince, indeed.

And yet…

"You do not seem to understand the position you are in, Tyn…" Ulquiorra warned him. "Despite the power you think you posses, you have no hope of winning. If you do not surrender immediately, I will be forced to end you. I do not wish for it to come to that."

Tyn's answer was to vanish and despite Ulquiorra's best attempt to dodge the attack he _knew_ was coming, the raptor was simply too fast as a sharp sidekick connected with the left side of his ribcage, crunching the bones inward to impale his organs as he went sailing into a sand dune.

"End me?" asked Tyn, "Over a _human_ that you don't even like? Your priorities are confused, Ulquiorra!"

"You are mistaken; I am well aware of what I do." spat the _cuarto_, picking himself up off the desert floor slowly, favoring his hurt side. "Humans have more ties than we do; if he goes missing, his friends and family will begin looking for him. Eventually their search will lead back to Halibel and to you. It is inevitable."

"If there's no body, then there's no evidence of a crime!" snapped Tyn.

"Absence of evidence is not necessarily absolution for the guilty. You are endangering all of us with this bloody crusade, Tyn, and I cannot allow that." explained Ulquiorra as his body began to knit his broken ribs back together.

"And I can't let you stop me, Ulquiorra; he _hurt_ Tia! He has to pay! I will _make_ him pay!" roared Tyn, crouching low as he prepared to attack again.

"How unfortunate it is that you have no say in the matter… _Resurrección, Segunda Etapa_!"

* * *

"I'm getting too soft…"

Grimmjow scowled as he kicked a small pile of snow ruefully, trudging down the sidewalk towards the nearest store for milk and cat food for his new guest. He'd thought there was plenty, he really had, until he'd fed the strays outside and then realized he had nothing left for the kitten.

And now he was out in the freezing cold, bundled head to toe in heavy winter clothing as he fought against what he was _sure_ was a true blizzard. Stupid snow!

At first, the prospect of going out to fetch more milk hadn't seemed terribly daunting; after all, there was a little neighborhood market down on the corner, just a mere fifty meters from his apartment, and it was generally where he did all of his shopping.

Except with it being Christmas Eve and almost eleven at night, the market was closed. And so was the _next_ market a block over. And if the next one a block away from _that_ was also closed…

Well, he wondered what the sentence for 'grand theft milk' would be.

Stupid holiday business hours! They had an _obligation_ to stay open twenty-four hours a day in case he needed something, damn it! Orihime had said Christmas was about being unselfish, and Grimmjow thought it was _extremely_ selfish for everyone to be closing their stores early for the night rather than staying open for people like himself!

He scowl only deepened when he thought about how all of the others had to be enjoying their own Christmas right about now, all warm and cozy in their homes…

* * *

_Shit!_

It had been surprising enough when Ulquiorra had revealed himself to have a second resurrección form as such a thing was completely unheard of, but the sheer difference between their power now was almost incomprehensible to Tyn.

He'd just barely managed to dodge the green energy lance Ulquiorra had summoned and lobbed his way, his escape so narrow that half the feathers on the right side of his head had been burned away by the blast. The mouth of the cave leading down into the Menos Forest was considerably less fortunate as the blast destroyed it entirely, spitting up a cloud of dust and sand so thick that it obscured his view of the Demon Bat.

A green light could be seen through the swirling haze of debris, albeit just barely, but it was enough; Tyn dropped to the ground quickly, pressing his belly to the sand as the green bolt sailed overhead and scorched away a few more feathers as it continued along it's trajectory before impacting into the sand several dozen meters behind him and exploding violently.

"It is not too late to surrender…" Ulquiorra called out to him through the cloud, "There is no shame in accepting defeat at the hands of a more powerful warrior. I do not wish to kill you if it can be avoided."

Tyn growled angrily as he dug himself out of the sand that the blast had buried him in; surrender wasn't an option, but neither was facing the _cuarto_ head-to-head anymore. His best option was to rely on his overwhelming speed to find Hiroki and finish him off before Ulquiorra could catch him.

Not waiting for Ulquiorra to find him through the smoke and haze, Tyn orientated himself in the general direction the human had been fleeing and took off, going straight into his _sonido_ on a path that would take him right by Ulquiorra.

The _cuarto_ had apparently anticipated this move, however, and used his own claws to slash at Tyn as he sailed by, succeeding in penetrating the boney leg plates on the raptor's thighs and cutting into the flesh. The sudden impact threw Tyn off balance and he tumbled to the sand and rolled forward before springing to his feet and taking off again.

He refused to let the wound hamstring him this time and with a determined grimace he ignored the pain and kept running; it wasn't as deep as the last time and in a few short seconds, it wouldn't even exist anymore. Even if it had been as deep as the last cut, stopping wasn't an option, not anymore; given half a chance, Ulquiorra would kill him.

The fourth was on his heels in an instant upon seeing that Tyn wasn't going to stop and much to Tyn's horror, Ulquiorra's new form gave him more speed, enough to give the injured raptor cause for concern. Still, his leg was wounded and Ulquiorra's was not; in a few more brief seconds, the distance between them would begin to grow exponentially as the wound closed.

Death was inescapable now, Tyn knew that much. Still, he wasn't going into Hell without dragging that damnedable human with him.

* * *

This was insane.

Of all the ways to be spending Christmas Eve, Hiroki would have never guessed he would be running through a desert full of monsters while two demons battled over his fate. The never-waning moon still shone overhead, and the unchanging nature of the night sky left him disoriented and confused, wondering how much time had passed since arriving in this sandy pit of Hell they had called Hueco Mundo.

A few monsters with white, boney faces had momentarily chased after him earlier and he had been sure that they were going to tear him apart, sure that his life was forfeit regardless of the outcome of Ulquiorra and Tyn's battle.

And then the monsters had stopped, sniffing the air and recoiling away from him in fear before running for their lives.

_The blood…_

The pale one, Ulquiorra, had sliced his hand open and splashed the blood on Hiroki's face, telling him to smear it in for safety… At the time he'd thought it to be a sick joke, but now he was grateful for the crimson gift.

He just hoped it would be enough to protect him until he got to the pile of rubble that Tyn had said was once a palace.

If it had been a palace, then maybe there were weapons there. Maybe there was a strong-room or bomb shelter to hide in, a vault or something…

The air was thick and hard to breath and earlier an eerie green rain had fallen from the sky for a few seconds, rain that had somehow not made either the sand or his clothes wet. Far behind him now, he could hear the sound of thundering explosions as the pale monster and the redheaded psychopath did battle with one another, and the shockwave from the most recent explosion had been powerful enough to knock him from his feet and send him flying face-first into the sand, even this far away from the fight!

Hiroki slowed down in his running, panting for breath as he looked back at the fight he'd left so far behind, feeling the weight of his own sweat dragging him down. In his exhaustion, he could scarcely pick his feet up anymore and was shuffling through the sands as he tried to catch his breath, and he tripped over a crystalline plant in the ground, falling down once again.

The noise from the battlefield had ceased and he wondered who had been the victor as he rolled over and sat up, looking behind him towards the fight he'd left behind. He desperately hoped Ulquiorra had been the one to win, as the pale creature seemed inclined to spare his life. He was supposedly the stronger of the two anyway, wasn't he? Hadn't Tyn said that Ulquiorra had been ranked fourth strongest while Tyn himself was only ranked fifth?

And then a horrible, terrifying figure materialized in front of him, charging forward with murderous intent, screeching a bloodthirsty cry. It didn't look like anything else Hiroki has seen in the desert so far, but the crest of crimson feathers lining the head gave away the creature's identity.

Tyn.

He didn't know what had happened or why Tyn no longer appeared even remotely human, all he knew was that it _was_ the redhead, come for his life.

"Oh, Jesus…" Hiroki breathed, scrambling backwards in the sand as the nightmarish monster leapt into the air, jaws wide open and clawed-hands splayed wide. In the bright glow of the moon, there was no mistaking the large sickle-claws on each foot that would soon be slicing him open.

The beast was almost upon him when a black, ropelike _thing_ wrapped itself around the creature's neck and yanked it away at the last second, flinging it into the sand.

Hiroki blinked and recognized the ropelike thing to be a tail, long and thin, connected to a very different-looking Ulquiorra than the one he remembered; the new Ulquiorra had large, black wings and long, white horns, the white clothing was gone, revealing a surprisingly muscular torso and a lower body covered in some kind of black fur, and there, in the center of the chest was a gaping hole dripping what he could only guess was black blood.

He watched as a deep gash in Ulquiorra's face began to sew itself shut, a gash caused by the enraged Tyn as the pale demon had sent him flying.

The air was thicker than ever now and it took all of Hiroki's energy just to breathe. He was slowly drowning in the dense, blood-soaked air and he knew it was from being in such close proximity to two powerful creatures, but he couldn't run; the weight of their very _existence_ felt like it was crushing him into the ground.

He had a front-row seat to the monster brawl of the century and he wanted no part of it.

* * *

Home…

Despite all the flaws of Hueco Mundo, despite how utterly depressing a place it could be, it was still home, still the birthplace of hollows and there was a tiny part of Halibel that relished finally returning to the endless desert she had once known so well.

Right about now, her gigai _should_ be driving to the high school to join up with the other two and await her return, assuming she wasn't too late already.

She was in the Southern Dune Sea, where Tyn had once told her that he'd spent much of his exile. The cave leading down into the Menos Forest was collapsed and much of the dust and debris still hung in the air. Just enough had settled to reveal several massive craters dotting the landscape along with a few troubling splotches of dark red blood staining the otherwise white sands. The desert winds blew in from the north and a single crimson feather wafted in front of her face, gently riding the breeze.

Tia snatched the feather down, looking at it closely before she became aware of the powerful _reiatsu_ coming from the north, near the the remains of the once-magnificent palace of Los Noches.

Tyn and Ulquiorra had clearly released their zanpaktou and she wondered if she should do the same if she wanted to stop them.

No, she would only use _Tiburon_ if it became necessary; if Hiroki wasn't already dead, the added weight of her spiritual pressure would surely destroy him completely and as much as she now hated her former beau, she had sworn to never kill humans again.

Ulquiorra, however, was certainly _not_ human.

Tia looked down at the feather in her hand, clutching it tightly. If she was too late, then she could only hope that fate would show Ulquiorra the mercy she would not.

* * *

Hiroki was now covered in blood and none of it was his own.

Unable to move underneath the monstrous weight of the very air around him, he could only watch in horror as the two demons slugged it out to decide whether he lived or died, and as copious amounts of blood went flying in the air, much of it landed on him. Only some belonged to Ulquiorra, with most of it belonging to Tyn who, despite his fearsome appearance, was obviously the weaker of the two beasts.

Hiroki allowed himself a small smile, knowing that he was safe. Hell, he would have laughed had it not been for the invisible weight on his chest that made simply _breathing_ a challenge.

There were cuts and gashes of varying depth all along the demonic bat-creature's pale chest that were closing up, but the feathered half-reptile half-bird thing was limping now, it's left arm hanging lifelessly at it's side after having been yanked from it's socket by Ulquiorra.

Tyn was probably lucky to still _have_ an arm after that, even if it was now useless.

A trio of sharp, serrated teeth lay on the ground, having been knocked from his snout a few seconds earlier, and a dozen or so feathers were dancing about on the desert floor as a gust of wind blew in and scattered them about. Tyn was panting hard, his breath coming in ragged, wheezy gasps that left Hiroki thinking his ribs were broken.

One of Ulquiorra's great wings had been split during the last exchange and nearly cut off by the sharp scythe-like talons of Tyn's feet but the black, leathery membrane was now knitting itself back together as if the tear had never existed in the first place.

"Surrender." ordered Ulquiorra firmly. "This is your last chance to be reasonable, Tyn."

Hiroki couldn't believe his ears; a fight like this and he was asking Tyn to simply _surrender_? What, was his the only life at stake here? Were they playing by some bizarre demonic code of conduct that said they could play God with human lives but not with each other?

"Surrender?" Hiroki choked out, "Just _kill_ him!"

Ulquiorra turned his attention away from Tyn for a brief second, fixing his eerie green-and-yellow eyes on Hiroki.

"Stay out of this, mortal." said Ulquiorra coldly, narrowing his eyes. "Do not distract-"

"_Too late_!" screeched Tyn, his limp suddenly gone as he cleared the distance to the downed Hiroki in the blink of an eye, placing a heavy clawed foot on the petrified human's chest triumphantly before the distracted Ulquiorra had any time to react. With a vicious grin, Tyn began to dig the massive talon into his chest, raking the tip across the surface of Hiroki's breastbone slowly and causing agonizing pain.

"It's _over_, Ulquiorra!" Tyn declared, the corners of his mouth twisting upward in a perverse approximation of a grin. "I win! All I have to do is apply a little pressure and I'll crush the life from him and there is _nothing_ you can do to stop me!"

"Do it, then!" spat Hiroki, coughing up a mouthful of blood onto Tyn's clawed foot. "Finish it!"

The raptor looked down at him and opened it's jaws wide, giving a victory cry that echoed across the desert as he leaned over and prepared to simply bite into Hiroki's skull and crush it…and a black and green ball of light slammed into the Tyn's elongated head, knocking the demon away.

Hiroki had just finished pissing on himself at the sight of the massive jaws coming down towards him and had no idea what had happened. He looked over at Ulquiorra who had only a single clawed finger extended, pointing at the downed monster.

Tyn howled in pain as he climbed back to his feet and as Hiroki looked back at the thrashing raptor he could see that the attack had partially blinded him; the bright amber glow of his left eye had gone out, now replaced with an empty, blackened socket that was bleeding profusely.

Ulquiorra raised a clawed hand and tensed his body, clearly aiming to run Tyn through and finish the fight. With a single flap of his massive wings, he was hurtling towards the blinded redhead at such speed that it should be impossible for anything, much less a blind, wounded monster, to dodge.

And yet, Tyn went flying out of harm's way and into the sand…although not by his own doing.

Hiroki recognized the short, blond hair and three long, braided locks jutting out from behind the newcomer's high collar; Tia had arrived.

She held Ulquiorra's wrist in a death grip, digging her heels into the sand and pushing back against his thrust, but the sheer power behind his attack still managed to force her back several meters. Even so, her grip on his wrist held firm and his deadly claws were kept safely away from piercing her flesh, although the tips did rip open her abbreviated jacket top and reveal her horrific mask for all to see.

"Stand down, Ulquiorra." she hissed, her voice strained as she visibly struggled to hold back his murderous claws with all her might. "This fight is over."

"He will not listen to reason." explained the pale demon, pulling his hand away from the woman.

"He'll listen to _me_." snapped Tia confidently, fixating a withering stare on the bat-creature that forced him to take a couple of steps back in an almost submissive gesture, a sight that only intensified the feeling of dread swelling in Hiroki's gut.

Tyn had explained the rankings to him, had explained that Tia had been the third strongest of the group known as the Espada… He had seen the three tattooed on her arm weeks ago and she'd refused to comment on it, and now he could see the three tattooed on the inside of her right breast on a small patch of skin _not_ covered by her mask. She was obviously stronger than Ulquiorra and she had no reason whatsoever to allow him to live.

Hiroki began to silently pray again as Tia calmly made her way over to the still-blinded bird monster that was struggling to get back to his feet.

"Tyn…" she began softly, gently placing a hand on the end of his snout. "It's over. No more fighting."

"He has to pay…" protested the injured spirit, the sound of his voice stronger than it was before, as if his ribs were no longer broken. "He can't be allowed to-"

"It's okay…" soothed Tia, "It's not that important. We all made a promise not to take human life, remember? Don't break that, not for this."

Hiroki watched as the empty eye socket slowly began to fill with an off-white orb that soon began to brighten to a more pure white, with an inhuman amber iris forming in the center. It seemed very similar to the rapid healing Ulquiorra had displayed, though perhaps a bit slower.

The newly-regenerated eye locked itself onto Tia's hideously-masked face. Her boney covering was almost as ugly as Tyn's own animalistic face, but somehow the raptor seemed to be calming down as he looked at her.

A face only a monster could love, Hiroki supposed.

There was a flash of red light and the swirling of sands as the feathered demon reverted back to an almost-human form and sheathed it's sword. The changing of form had left Tia's hand on his forehead, and now she moved her hand down below his face to cup his chin, gently stroking the remnants of his mask with her fingertips in an almost-affectionate manner.

"It's not worth it." she told Tyn softly. "_He's_ not worth it."

The pressure of the air had lessened slightly, allowing Hiroki to move once more as he placed a hand over his bleeding chest, the pain of Tyn's claws scraping against bone still reverberating through his body. A small part of him wanted to feel insulted at having a woman say he wasn't worth it, but in this case he decided it was probably a _good_ thing.

There was a flash of green and a similar swirl of dust and sand as the Demon Bat faded way into the almost-normal Ulquiorra clad in white as Tia turned to face Hiroki, giving him a full view of her horrific mask.

"And you…" she began as she stalked towards him menacingly, "I'd like nothing more than to kill you myself after what you did. You _lied_ to me, you _betrayed_ me, and I actually _felt_ something for you!"

"I'm sorry…" Hiroki offered weakly. "I didn't mean-"

"Save it!" snarled Tia, green eyes flashing dangerously. "The only thing sparing your miserable life right now is the promise we made to never kill humans again, but if you try and give me some lame excuse, I _will_ kill you!"

"You have been given a second chance at life…" said Ulquiorra from behind the blond, "I suggest you learn from your past mistakes."

"That's not good enough; I was exiled from Los Noches for _far_ less than what this filth has done!" exclaimed Tyn bitterly as he massaged the bicep of his left arm, willing his inhuman regenerative abilities to heal the damage Ulquiorra had wrought, "At the very least, he should suffer the same kind of fate; he should be exiled from Karakura!"

"Exiled?" sputtered Hiroki, "Your're insane!"

"Exile…" murmured Tia, obviously mulling the idea over in her head.

"You can't be serious!" protested Hiroki.

"I believe that seems like an acceptable compromise for all parties concerned…" Ulquiorra reasoned. "It involves no murder yet is considerably more harsh than letting him off with a mere warning."

"It's settled, then…" Tyn growled, nodding his head in agreement with Ulquiorra's assessment. "I'll let him live, provided he leaves town."

"You can't make me-" Hiroki tried to argue but Tia cut him off with an angry growl as she seized him by his shirt collar and hoisted him into the air, his feet dangling helplessly above the desert sands.

"Leave Karakura and never return because if I _ever_ see you again, I swear I will end you myself." she promised darkly. "You have until the New Year to gather your things and flee."

"And don't breathe a word of this to anyone for the rest of your gorforsaken life." ordered Tyn, moving to stand beside Tia, "Because if anyone ever comes looking for us and asking about monsters, I will hunt you down. There is no place in the world where I can't sniff you out, human."

"And I will help him." added Ulquiorra solemnly. "It will be my penance for protecting you this time."

"I'll stay quiet, I promise!" agreed Hiroki, tears beginning to roll down his face as Tia held him suspended in the air.

"Good boy." she spat disdainfully, dropping him into the sand roughly.

Forced to move away from Karakura, to leave his home, his friends, his family… It wasn't something Hiroki wanted to do, not by a long shot, but given what the alternative seemed to be, it was an offer he couldn't refuse; he didn't want to die, not here, not now, and not anytime soon. Ulquiorra may have protected him this time, but by his own admission he would not do so again…hell, even if he _wanted_ to, it was painfully obvious that Halibel was considerably stronger, enough so that the pale demon seemed inclined to obey her commands.

Hiroki didn't even want to _think_ about what Tyn would do if given half a chance, though he suspected it would lead to a much more gruesome end than anything Halibel would do herself.

He shuddered as the desert wind blew around them, scattering the sands and carrying the last of the crimson feathers away. Hiroki looked up at the three monstrous beasts that held his life in their hands, feeling more and more grateful for their comparative generosity by the second; starting over in a new city would be a long, painful process, but it was considerably less painful than being torn asunder by heartless demons.

"I trust we can all go home, then?" asked Ulquiorra finally. "I do not wish to worry Orihime any further by being late."

"Home sounds good." Tyn agreed, carefully flexing and testing his now-restored arm.

"Home…" Tia breathed, exhaling slowly as she gazed up at the glowing moon one last time. "Our _new _home. I think it's time we put Hueco Mundo behind us forever."

"Never really liked this place anyway." snorted Tyn.

Halibel snapped her fingers and the sky split itself apart once again, revealing a long black tunnel leading to where Hiroki could only hope was Earth. Tia took point into the tunnel with Tyn falling in behind her and Hiroki behind him, as he felt considerably safer with Ulquiorra at his back.

He was the only one who noticed the single bloody-crimson feather tied into one of Tia's long, golden braids.


	28. Not so Silent Night IV

**Not-so-Silent Night IV**

Stupid holiday hours!

He had been to four different stores now, and they were all "closed for the holidays," leaving a bubbling white-hot rage inside Grimmjow that easily cancelled out the chilly winter air and the freezing snow. It was starting to look like he really _would_ be forced to break into a store, or at the very least go ask one of the others if they had any milk to spare.

Fuck that; he'd sooner try breaking and entering than _ever_ asking for help, especially from that bastard Ulquiorra.

Maybe he could go to Kurosaki's…that would make this whole rotten night better, beating the snot out of Ichigo and his crazy old man and stealing their milk; now _that_ sounded like a Merry fuckin' Christmas!

He was just making his way past the high school as he debated the merits of mugging the Kurosaki family versus stealing a few of the small milk cartons from Burger World when he noticed the night sky begin to twist and distort itself in a very familiar fashion that he hadn't seen in nearly a year.

"What the hell?" he muttered as the _garganta_ tore itself open.

Grimmjow squinted his eyes as he looked up, noticing for the first time three figures on the roof and a series of small, human-sized figures appearing in the _garganta_ itself. The individuals he saw were pretty unmistakable; the white uniforms of the Espada were a stark contrast to the empty black void of the portal, and Grimmjow felt himself get even angrier.

What the fuck were they doing stomping around outside of their gigais without _him,_ damn it?

* * *

Infinite darkness.

It was perhaps the best way to describe a trip through a _garganta_, Ulquiorra mused; save for the crystalline path beneath their feet formed by concentrated _reiatsu_, there was nothing inside this black void but infinite darkness. For the Espada, it was nothing new or exciting, and nothing frightening about it.

For the human in their midst, however, it was clearly a source of terror as he kept nervously looking over the edge and into the spiraling, eternal nothingness below.

"Be careful." Ulquiorra warned, "Should you fall, you will be lost forever."

There was an audible gulp from Hiroki and a dark chuckle from Tyn at the very idea of Hiroki falling into the infinite abyss, screaming.

The chuckle faded and the procession continued in silence, allowing Ulquiorra time to reflect on all that had happened in Hueco Mundo and wonder if perhaps he had been too zealous in his efforts to stop Tyn; he had been fully prepared to kill the _quinto_ after concluding that appealing to Tyn's sense of logic and reason was a lost cause, but Ulquiorra hadn't considered the consequences for such an act.

He doubted the others would have taken the news well; Starrk seemed very comfortable with the current group composition and losing a member would likely not sit well with him. Grimmjow was likely to use it as an excuse for violence, whether or not he actually cared about the death of the _quinto_. And Orihime…

Orihime had tried so hard to help him become more human, to adjust to life in Karakura, and if Ulquiorra had allowed himself to regress back into being a heartless killer after all that she'd done for him…

She would have been crushed by his actions and would likely feel betrayed.

That was unacceptable.

Halibel would have been likely to handle the news in stride; she was generally pretty reasonable and had certainly had _more_ than her fair share of problems with Tyn. Surely she would have understood the decision to end him as being tragic but necessary…

Ulquiorra looked beyond Hiroki and Tyn, noting for the first time the decidedly out-of-place crimson feather tied into one of Halibel's long, blond braids and decided to re-evaluate the possibilities of exactly what Halibel would have done if Tyn had not survived the battle.

_Perhaps she would not have been as reasonable and understanding as I first thought…_

In the end he decided that everything had turned out for the best; Tyn was alive, Hiroki was alive and terrified out of his mind, and Orihime would never need to know about what had almost transpired. The only lingering concern was how Tyn planned to explain things to Urahara without the ex-captain finding out the truth.

"We're here." announced Halibel from the front of the line as the blackness began to split apart, revealing the sprawling cityscape of Karakura Town and the roof of the high school just a dozen meters below.

"Ah…how are we going to get down there?" asked Hiroki, nervously looking down at the three gigai who were waving up at their masters. "That looks like a really long way to just jump…"

"Quit sniveling." snarled Halibel, seizing him by the arm roughly. "On three."

"I can't survive that!" he cried, frantically trying to free himself from her iron grasp.

"One." counted Tia, ignoring his pleas.

"Be reasonable!"

"Two." said Ulquiorra, moving to stand beside the others and orientating himself towards his gigai.

"You're all crazy!"

"Three!" declared Tyn as all three arrancar went straight into _sonido_ as they exited the _garganta_ and entered the scanning radius of the Seireitei's monitors, Tia dragging the screaming Hiroki along behind her at breakneck speed.

The _tercera_ slowed down and released her hold on the human at the last second before she slammed into her gigai, letting him impact the roof of the school with a force that was nearly equal to that of jumping from a moving car. Hiroki landed on his shoulder with an audible 'pop' as he went rolling across the roof roughly. He groaned as he sat up, cradling his arm in tears as the three Espada flexed the joints of their artificial bodies, reacquainting themselves with the limitations.

"What the fuck is this? You bastards decided to ditch this town and go home, and you didn't invite me?" demanded a voice, and the four turned to see Grimmjow climbing up the fire escape ladder onto the roof.

"This was not a scheduled trip, Grimmjow." said Ulquiorra calmly as the _sexta_ turned his attention to the still-bleeding Hiroki, who was clutching his wounded chest with his left hand while his right hung at his side limply.

"And what the fuck is _he_ doing here?" he asked, jerking a thumb towards the human.

"We had a falling out." answered Tia coldly, glaring hatefully at Hiroki and watching him tremble under her gaze.

"Get up and get out of here." Tyn commanded the human, kicking him across the roof for good measure. "You've got a week to get out of town."

"Wait, wait, _wait_…" said Grimmjow, interposing himself between Tyn and Hiroki as the human got to his feet slowly. "You can't make him leave town just yet."

"Why the hell not?" demanded Tyn. "He's lucky I didn't tear his goddamned spine out!"

Grimmjow abruptly spun around and lashed out with a thunderous right, catching Hiroki across the jaw and dropping him back to the ground roughly as a tooth went flying from his mouth and skidded it's way across the rooftop before coming to a stop only inches away from Tia's feet.

Of course; Grimmjow just _had_ to involve himself in the violence somehow.

"_Now_ he can leave." smirked Grimmjow as Tyn walked over and yanked the human to his feet, shoving him towards the fire escape.

"My tooth…" Hiroki pleaded, holding his bleeding jaw as he pointed towards the dislodged molar.

"What tooth?" asked Halibel as she stomped her right foot down on the offending tooth and ground it to dust beneath her heel. He opened his bleeding mouth to protest, only to have Ulquiorra and Tyn step in front of him and begin ushering him towards the ladder.

"How am I supposed to climb down the ladder with only one good arm?" asked Hiroki as he looked over the edge at the three-story fall to the ground.

"Very carefully, obviously…" said Ulquiorra impassively as Hiroki began his very slow and meticulous climb down the icy ladder.

"So…what are we going to do when the Soul Society gets here?" asked Grimmjow, looking around at the night sky for the first sign of a shinigami. "You _know_ they detected your return. Are we ditching this whole masquerade bullshit and going out in a blaze of glory?"

"Hardly…" said Ulquiorra, giving a disapproving look at Tyn as the redhead spit over the edge at Hiroki. "If their monitor stations detected our return at all, it was for but a split-second. Since it should be impossible for such high levels of _reiatsu_ to vanish without a trace so suddenly, the logical thing for them to do would be to consider it a momentary glitch; nothing more than a ghost in the machine."

"God damn it." hissed the _sexta_.

"Don't worry, Grimmjow…" said Tyn, motioning for the others to come over to the now-vacant ladder. "There's still a part for you in all of this…and actually, having you here will make this work out better than me doing it alone."

"What the fuck are you talking about, Five? Make sense!"

"Shut up and climb down the ladder and I'll explain."

The four arrancar descended the ladder and gathered in a circle to hear the redhead's plan, and Ulquiorra could only hope he had given it _some_ measure of intelligent thought lest he jeopardize them all with his impulsive behavior.

"First, I need something sharp. A knife or something." said Tyn, and Grimmjow responded by picking up a snow-covered rock and using it to shatter one of the school windows before picking up a large, dagger-shaped shard of glass.

"Damn it, Grimmjow…" sighed Halibel, and the _sexta_ looked both angered and offended by her reaction.

"What? He said he needed something sharp, and now we have something sharp."

"It'll do…" said Tyn, shaking his head to indicate that it wasn't what he had originally had planned. "I thought we could go to Burger World, but this will do… Tia, you're going to drive me and Grimmjow to Urahara's shop, and then you're going to go pick up Orihime and bring her to us."

"Why? What's she got to do with anything?" asked Tia, arching an eyebrow.

"Just do it, okay? While you're picking her up, Grimmjow and I will handle the rest." said Tyn, rolling up the sleeve on his right arm.

"So what do we need the glass for?" asked a confused Grimmjow as Tyn held out his bare arm.

"Go deep."

A sick, sadistic grin spread itself across Grimmjow's face as he grabbed Tyn's arm roughly and hefted the blade of glass with his other hand.

"Best Christmas _ever_!"

* * *

It had been a long time since he'd attended a Christmas party, least of all in the Seireitei, and despite all of his past troubles and misunderstandings with the Gotei 13, Kisuke Urahara felt like he'd finally come home.

It wasn't the fact of being back in the Seireitei itself that made him feel comfortable, but rather the atmosphere created by being surrounded by the people who knew him best (not that he allowed _anyone_ to know too much), the people he felt comfortable calling his friends.

It was the Mess Hall for Division 13, but there were more people in attendance than just the members of Squad 13; Captain Kyōraku of Squad 8 seemed to be having a spirited drinking match with Renji, himself now Captain of Squad 5, and Lieutenant Matsumoto. If he were to guess on a winner, Kisuke thought he'd have put his money on Rangiku.

An obviously-uncomfortable Soifon was present, standing off to the side of the large room after having only shown up because of Yoruichi's insistence while the mischievous ex-captain herself was dancing about the room with a Santa hat perched on top of her purple hair and a piece of gold tinsel dangling around her shoulders, drinking milk from a champagne glass. Neliel, the former Espada-turned-Lieutenant, was singing Christmas carols and while Kisuke had heard the horror stories about her musical abilities while drunk, her performance while sober was admittedly quite impressive and angelic.

Even the notoriously-antisocial Hitsugaya was there, sitting beside the Christmas tree in the far corner of the room with a sketchpad as he worked vigorously on a drawing of the party. Beside him sat an empty plate containing nothing but watermelon seeds, which answered the question Kisuke had as to how the small captain had been bribed into attendance.

Meanwhile, Jinta and Ururu (mostly Jinta) seemed content to incite a bickering match between Kiyone and Sentarō over who was more favored by their captain.

"And _that_ right there is exactly why I'm not anxious to have any kids of my own." sighed Captain Ushii from behind Kisuke.

"Nel can't be happy to hear that; I get the impression she would love to have kids, and Yoruichi has made no secret about the fact that she wants a niece or a nephew to spoil." said Kisuke, turning to face the other shinigami as he stepped up beside him, a cup of sake in his hand.

"Didn't say that I don't want any kids _eventually_…" Anrak defended himself, taking a swig of sake, "I just think it should wait until a few years _after_ the wedding. Like fifty years, maybe."

The two watched as Jinta began to tug on Ururu's hair violently after the younger girl attempted to get him to stop instigating arguments, mocking her as she cried and only ceasing his actions when Tessai broke the two of them up.

"Scratch that;" Anrak said, shaking his head, "make it a _hundred _years."

"Dealing with Kiyone and Sentarō doesn't seem to be that different…" observed Urahara with a grin. "I'd say you already have a couple of kids."

"If you want to look at it that way, yeah, I have about three hundred." agreed Anrak, watching as Satsu from Squad 5 sauntered over to Soifon and pointed out that she was standing underneath the mistletoe with a lecherous grin.

*POW!*

"And then there's Renji's misfit 'children…'" said Kisuke slowly as the wounded Satsu slowly crawled his way across the floor to the relative safety of his older brother, Takk.

"Soifon must actually be in the holiday spirit; she didn't break his arm this time." quipped Anrak as the dancing Yoruichi made her way back over to the petite Captain to tease her about being a little Grinch.

The chirping of Kisuke's Soul Pager interrupted the duo's conversation about Soifon's questionable holiday cheer, and the shopkeeper apologized as he pulled the small, cellphone-like device from his pocket and looked at the caller ID.

"Well, that's a surprise…" he mumbled upon seeing that the call was coming from his own shop back in the world of the living.

"Something wrong?" asked Anrak, and Kisuke quickly gave him a broad, fake smile to allay suspicion.

"No, nothing's wrong; I just wasn't expecting this call until _after_ Christmas… Excuse me for a moment, won't you?" he said, ducking out the door and into the night air.

The weather in the Soul Society was generally nicer than it was in the world of the living, and while last year had been the rare exception to that rule, this year was different and Kisuke felt grateful for that; it was chilly, sure, and there was a light dusting of snow less than a half inch thick on the ground, but it was already beginning to melt. Meanwhile, the forecast for Karakura had been predicting up to six inches of snow and sub-zero temperatures.

"Hello?" he asked, snapping the phone open.

"Hey, old man!" said the obnoxious voice on the other end, and Kisuke sighed.

"Grimmjow… First off, I'm _not_ old; secondly, what the hell are you doing in my shop?"

"You're what, almost two hundred? That makes you old, so deal with it!" snapped the arrancar bitterly.

"Grimmjow, _why_ are you in my shop?" repeated an irritated Kisuke, ignoring the insults about his age.

"We have a small problem…" Grimmjow began, "See, me and stupid got called in to work second shift tonight at Burger World, and there was a little…_accident_."

"Accident?" asked Kisuke, images of burning buildings, smoldering craters, and bodies lying strewn about instantly springing to mind. "What _kind_ of accident?"

"Bird-brain kind of cut himself and-"

"Bullshit!" yelled Tyn from the background. "_You_ did this, you ass!"

"I warned you to lay off the fucking cat jokes, didn't I?" bellowed Grimmjow.

"Your gigais will heal themselves…" Kisuke sighed, relieved that it wasn't anything major. "Slap a band-aid over it and-"

"It's pretty deep…" interrupted Grimmjow. "And since these things are supposed to seal off our spiritual pressure from the outside world, we're wondering if he might be…_leaking_ or something. I figure as long as we're in here, your barrier will hide him until he's fixed."

"How deep is 'pretty deep?'"

"Well, I can _see_ bone and…" began Grimmjow, and then there was the sound of screaming with Tyn yelling for Grimmjow to "Get your goddamned finger _out_ of there!"

"I can _touch_ bone." finished the _sexta_, and Kisuke could easily imagine the twisted grin on his face. "I think I nicked it. Can you come fix him or am I going to have to lock his stupid ass underground until you get back?"

"If it's that deep, then yes, the integrity of the gigai has been compromised…" Kisuke was saying, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Enough to be detectable by anyone in Karakura, but not enough to register on the Seireitei's monitor stations. Call Orihime; she can heal him."

"We already _tried_ that, dumbass!" snapped Grimmjow. "She ain't answering the stupid phone!"

"What do you mean she's not answering?"

"I thought you were supposed to be some kind of fucking genius!" snorted Grimmjow. "What part of 'not answering her phone' confuses you? Maybe she's gone out for the night or maybe she's too busy getting plowed by Ulquiorra-"

"That's an image I didn't need, Grimmjow…" shuddered Kisuke. "Call her again, and if she still doesn't answer, look through my address book beside the phone and call her friend Tatsuki, see if she's there. If she's not there, then you'll have to personally go by her house and check on her."

"And if she's not there?"

"Then Tyn gets to camp out in my shop until she returns. Orihime can't have gone far, not with it being Christmas." explained Urahara, shuddering again as he heard the sound of glass breaking in the background.

"That wasn't my fault!" called Tyn's voice. "Where's the goddamned bandages in this place?"

"How much of a mess have you two made?" asked Kisuke, rubbing his face and suddenly feeling so very tired.

"It's not _that_ bad…" said Grimmjow. "You've got a mop, right? Those brats of yours can probably clean it up in a few hours. See, if you had carpet, those bloodstains would probably never come out, but since it's all wood-"

"Forget I asked…" said Kisuke, dreading the mess he'd find when he returned home. He heard another sound over the phone that sounded vaguely like a refrigerator door being pulled open.

"Hey, since you're gone…" Grimmjow was saying, "It would be a shame to let some of this stuff go to waste. Like this milk here; it'll expire _way _before you get home. Don't worry, I can put it to good use, though. Later, old man!"

The line went dead and Kisuke could only stare at the phone in his hands, a headache now pounding away inside his skull as Yoruichi finally wandered outside to check on him.

"Everything okay?" she asked, and Urahara just looked up at her, blinking in confusion.

"Grimmjow just stole my milk…"

* * *

"Think he bought it?"

"Not completely, but there's not going to be any evidence that it's anything other than what we told him…" replied Tyn, wrapping another bandage around his arm as he waited for Tia to return with Orihime. "I'm sure he knows about what goes on at Burger World, so that makes the story believable."

"What about the mess?" Grimmjow asked, gesturing to the blood on the floor and the pile of used bandages Tyn had left lying about.

"Leave it; first thing Urahara will do when he gets back is test the blood for evidence of wrong-doing-"

"You mean human blood?"

"Yeah, and all he'll find is _my_ blood. Ulquiorra tinkers with the shift records at Burger World so it looks like you and I had to work together tonight, unsupervised, which makes the story of us fighting and you cutting my arm open believable. If he finds out Tia's pet human left town abruptly, he may get suspicious but a human deciding to move isn't really proof of anything."

"All right, so maybe you're only _half _as stupid as I first thought…" admitted Grimmjow as he filled a sack with goods from Urahara's refrigerator and cabinets.

"Did he say you could have that crap?"

"He didn't say I _couldn't_…" said Grimmjow evasively, finally closing the refrigerator door and hefting his sack of ill-gotten goods over his shoulder. "I'm getting out of here before Orihime arrives; I don't want to hear any of her crap about me 'borrowing' this stuff, or about how I should come to dinner at her house and choke to death on that bean paste shit."

Tyn watched through the window as the other Espada left, slowly making his way up the street through a half-foot of snow, stubbornly going against the biting wind… Idiot; if he'd have waited, Tia could have driven him back to his apartment.

Sighing, Tyn settled back into a chair to wait for the others to get back and fix his arm so he could go home and go to bed, and put this entire miserable evening behind him.

* * *

It was well after midnight when Ulquiorra and Orihime finally made it home. Tyn's arm had been healed, and Orihime had been able to use her Sōten Kisshun to fix the shattered lock on Urahara's door, though fixing an inanimate object had proven more somewhat difficult than healing wounds. Still, all was well and now they could enjoy Christmas dinner.

Their _cold_ Christmas dinner.

And Ulquiorra _still_ wasn't sure that he was hungry enough to actually stomach the red bean paste.

"We could microwave everything…" Orihime suggested as Ulquiorra sat down at the table and tried to steel himself for the coming horrors.

"I am sure it will be fine." he lied, slowly preparing his own plate of doom as Orihime took her seat at the opposite end of the table.

"I'd really planned on making your first Christmas dinner special…" Orihime said sadly, "but everything else sort of got in the way tonight, didn't it?"

"It was my mistake…" said Ulquiorra, lying again as he picked up a fork and attempted to decide which poisonous concoction to try first. "Tyn and Grimmjow are simply too immature to work together without adult supervision."

He looked across the table at Orihime, deciding it was probably best that he didn't look at his plate as he scooped up a helping of seasoned stuffing and shoveled it into his mouth.

"How is it?" asked Orihime nervously.

"Good…" said Ulquiorra honestly, trying hard to mask his surprise, "Very good."

"I left out the bean paste…" said Orihime slowly, "I know you don't really like it, so I left it out of everything this time… That's why I didn't want you helping me in the kitchen earlier; I wanted it to be a surprise."

Food, real, edible food for the first time since he'd been in Karakura…and he'd been avoiding it all night out of paranoia.

God damn it.

"I really wanted this to be a nice dinner for us…" Orihime was saying as Ulquiorra shoveled some macaroni in his mouth, savoring the bean paste-free nature of it all.

"It is perfect." he said, giving her a faint but genuine smile for once as her expression brightened.

"Merry Christmas, Ulquiorra."

* * *

"All of those stupid holiday specials _lied_ to us." said Halibel, flopping down on the couch in exhaustion as Tyn finished cleaning the dried blood off of himself in the bathroom. "Peace on Earth and good will towards men? Love and togetherness? What a joke; Christmas is all about being greedy and selfish. It brings out the worst in humans, not the best."

"How very cynical of you…" said Tyn as he emerged from the bathroom, flipping the light switch on the living room wall that turned on the Christmas Palm tree in the corner of the apartment.

"Turn that thing off." Tia sighed as her roommate headed over to the tree. "I'm not in the mood to be reminded of just how awful this stupid holiday is."

"Too bad." replied the raptor, taking a box from under the tree and tossing it to her. "Open it."

"What the hell is this?" she asked, turning it over and noticing the red ribbon and the tag that read 'To Tia' on it.

"What the hell does it _look_ like?" asked Tyn sarcastically as he walked over to the couch, dropping the red Santa hat on top of her head as he sat down on his end of the couch. "If you don't like it, I guess we can take it back and exchange it, assuming I'm not banned from the store now."

Tia tore off the colorful wrapping paper and opened the box, pausing a moment to run her fingertips over the image of the shark that she found facing her. Carefully, she pulled out the mostly-white jersey and unfolded it, a soft smile gracing her lips as she looked at the shark image once more before turning it around and seeing her name across the back of the teal green shoulders, complete with large number three on the back.

There was a long moment of silence as Tia simply looked the jersey over before she stood up and disappeared into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her and leaving Tyn feeling dejected. He sat alone in the living room for several long seconds, feeling foolish, as if he had completely and utterly failed her; she didn't like it…damn it, he should have looked harder and found something else that-

"How does it look?" she asked, and Tyn looked up to see her standing in the now-open doorway, wearing the slightly-oversized jersey with the Santa hat still sitting atop her blond locks.

"It looks great, Tia." Tyn said with a relieved smile, glad to see that she was wearing it and actually seemed to like it. She returned his smile and gave him a slight, thankful nod of her head for the gift, and that was when Tyn noticed something else about her appearance.

"You're wearing your necklace again…" he said, noting the shark's tooth dangling from around her neck. "I haven't seen you wear that in a couple of weeks."

"Hiroki thought it was stupid, so I stopped wearing it…I shouldn't have listened to him. I never should have taken it off." she said softly. "I won't make that mistake again."

"Stupid is the fool who would even _look_ at another woman when he has you…" muttered Tyn under his breath as Halibel ducked back into her room for a second to retrieve something else.

"I actually got you something for Christmas, too…" she said as she came back into the living room and offered an overly-elongated box to him. "I meant to wrap it earlier today, but…"

Tyn opened the box and was surprised to see the sword he'd been wanting for so long, waiting for him. He pulled it from the box, letting the cardboard fall to the floor as he examined his prize closely, realizing by the shine that she must have polished it recently. It was an unnecessary extra step and while he wondered exactly _why_ she would have done such a thing for him, he certainly appreciated the added thought.

"It's _some_ color for your room, I guess." Tia said, sitting back down on the couch…right beside him, in No Man's Land.

"I think it would look better in here…" he said, trying to ignore her unusually close proximity and the way her intoxicating vanilla-like scent was flooding his nostrils. "Maybe above the TV, for decoration."

"That could work; the wall is kind of bare, isn't it?" she agreed, leaning her head over against his shoulder.

"Tia…" he said nervously, unsure of what to make of her uncharacteristically strange behavior.

"Thank you…" she said quietly, "For everything."

"Don't get all soft on me…" he said gruffly, looking away from her to hide his reddening cheeks. "I was just looking out for my pack; I'd have done the same for any of the others."

"Of course…" she said testily, standing up. "How silly of me."

"I didn't mean it like-" said Tyn defensively, getting to his feet and trying to intercept Tia before she made it to her bedroom.

*SLAM!*

"Damn it, Tia…" sighed Tyn, leaning his head against the door. "You're taking it the wrong way!"

"Good night, Tyn." called Halibel from the other side, ignoring his protests.

Cursing the entire time, Tyn retreated from her door and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and prepare for bed, wondering how he'd managed to screw up yet again. What was he supposed to say, damn it? What did she expect from him? It wasn't like he'd done anything wrong!

Tyn spit out a mouthful of toothpaste into the sink and glared at himself in the mirror, growling angrily. He couldn't let the night end like this, not after everything that had happened. He had to do something, had to make her understand…

Except he wasn't entirely sure that he understood it, either.

"Not like that's ever stopped me before…" he muttered, rinsing his mouth out and heading back to Tia's still-shut door.

The smart thing to do would have been to knock first, but the Tyn-thing to do was to barge in, courtesy be damned; the door wasn't locked and he took a deep breath as he flung it open, preparing to defend himself against a verbal and possible physical onslaught, but he was greeted with silence as Tia stood staring out her bedroom window.

Tyn moved to stand behind her and take in the view; the relentless snow had finally stopped, leaving the city to slumber peacefully underneath a blanket of pure white that covered everything as far as the eye could see. The glow of the moon shone down brightly on the fresh snow, momentarily giving the eerie illusion of being back in Hueco Mundo once more.

"Tia, I…" he began, unsure of what to say.

"I didn't, you know…" she said instead, never once looking away from the window. "I know you think I did, but I didn't. I was going to, but…I don't know; I just couldn't. I slept in his bed, but I never-"

"Why tell me? It's not my business." he asked.

"I just wanted you to know… I'm sure you could smell his scent when I came home, and you probably thought…"

"Doesn't matter what I thought; not my business. I'm glad you didn't, though; this would be probably be a lot harder on you if you _had_ screwed him."

"Thank you _so_ much for putting it so crudely…" she said sarcastically before taking on a softer, more serious tone again. "You and Ulquiorra would have been the ones holding _me_ back."

"I wouldn't stop you…" said Tyn softly, "I'd help you. You know that."

"Just like you'd do for any of the others…"

"_Not_ like I'd do for the others…" Tyn corrected her, carefully placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing gently. "I'm always going to be more protective of my mate- _roommate_, I mean- than I am the others."

Tia didn't answer immediately or seem to notice his momentary slip of the tongue, although Tyn could have sworn that for a brief second he saw a very faint, ghost of a smile in her reflection.

"It's been a long day; we should both get some rest." she said finally and Tyn nodded, recognizing that as a dismissal. He went to pull his hands away from her shoulders and retreat to his own room, but Halibel reached up and grabbed his left hand firmly, stopping him.

"Tia, what are you doing?" he asked warily as she headed for her bed and climbed in, pulling him along with her.

"Just shut up and hold me; I don't want to be alone tonight, okay?" she said as he cautiously slipped beneath the covers and settled down beside her.

"If you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll kill you." she warned, pulling his arm around her waist and intertwining her fingers with his. "And don't get any ideas; if you move your hand up, I'll kill you. If you move your hand down-"

"Yeah, yeah; you'll kill me. I get it." said Tyn, pulling her close and holding her tightly, savoring her vanilla-like scent. "Am I supposed to say something here or what?"

"Hiroki would whisper sweet things to me…" prompted Halibel.

A long, awkward silence filled the room.

"…I got nothing." admitted Tyn finally.

"You suck at romance." sighed Tia.

"I don't _do_ romance; I kill things. Less complicated that way."

"Our _old_ life was; it's not that simple here in the human world."

"Don't remind me." growled Tyn.

"Good night, Tyn."

"Good night, Tia…" he whispered, squeezing her tightly. "Merry Christmas."

"Christmas sucks."


	29. New Year

**New Year's…Resolution?**

_**-Los Noches, Several Years Ago-**_

The view from the top of the great dome of Los Noches was unparalleled by anything else in Hueco Mundo, offering a 360° view of the never-ending desert and as close-up a view of the stars as was possible. It was breathtakingly beautiful in it's own way, but Tia Halibel hadn't come for the view.

Not originally, at least.

She reached over and scratched the itch on her right breast, growling; the ink from her tattoo, still fresh, was irritating her skin to no end. She knew that in time the feeling of the ink and the needle would fade, and that time couldn't come soon enough for her tastes.

God, why did that creep Gin have to talk Lord Aizen into putting the tattoo _there_ of all places?

When Aizen had brought Halibel into the palace and she'd seen some of his first arrancars, she had been hopeful of losing most of her mask and regaining an almost-human appearance. To lose the bulk of that cumbersome mask would be a dream come true…instead, most of the mask had remained and only her body had resumed a human-like appearance.

Halibel tried not to fall prey to ego and vanity, knowing full well the pitfalls of such misplaced pride, but she was an imperfect creature and could never suppress such feelings completely. Her face, a face she _knew_ to be beautiful was still hidden away behind the damnedable mask from the nose down, even to the point of covering most of her upper torso.

And on one of the few patches of skin that the mask didn't cover was where Gin and Lord Aizen had decided to put her Espada tattoo.

Tia growled again, looking down at the black four on her breast. Why the hell couldn't it have gone on her arm, or maybe on her back like Neliel's tattoo?

She scratched the itchy patch of skin again as she looked up at the stars twinkling in the night sky, exhaling slowly as she drank in the view. It was so peaceful up here, so hauntingly beautiful and serene… It was a far cry from the madness she had walked away from down below in the palace, with her three fracción squabbling amongst themselves like children vying for a mother's attention.

Sung-Sun, Apacci, and Mila Rose…her companions, her three best friends, her _only_ three friends.

Even so, their antics could be annoying beyond words some days and the best cure was to simply get away from them for a little while.

She sensed movement coming from behind her and knew that she was no longer alone on the roof. The newcomer's spiritual pressure didn't feel like her fracción or anyone else she had already met down in the palace, and that set her on edge; she hadn't survived long enough to evolve into a Vasto Lorde by being careless. She reached a hand back to grab the hilt of _Tiburon_ in anticipation of a fight.

"Take it easy…" soothed a decidedly male voice, "I'm not looking for a fight."

"Then you shouldn't be slinking around and sneaking up on people." warned Halibel as she turned to face the visitor crouched low behind her, never removing her hand from the hilt of the zanpaktou strapped to her back.

"You make it sound like I'm stalking you…" remarked the male, idly resting his forearms on his knees as he looked up at her. "If I had meant to do you harm, I'd have been at your throat before you even knew I was here."

The newcomer had hair the color of blood, short and spiking out wildly, and piercing yellow eyes that seemed more animal than human, a sign that predatory instincts probably filled his very being. The remnants of his mask ran along his lower jaw and up around his ear, fading into his hair. The bone-like mask was lined with a row of sharp, savage-looking teeth that culminated with two large fangs on his chin that nearly reached up to his bottom lip. A red line began underneath each eye and raced back and down across his cheek before finally fading away as they neared the back of his jaw.

Halibel eyed the zanpaktou at his hip, noting that his hand was nowhere near the hilt despite her own aggressive stance. The sheath was the same shade of crimson as his hair, as was the cord wrapped around the hilt. A tassel composed entirely of red feathers dangled down from the pommel, dancing about on the arid breeze wafting in from the desert. Gold accents added more life and color to the sheath and hilt, although the guard itself was a dark, almost antique-looking color, with the design itself resembling two strange, wicked-looking sickle-shaped claws placed end to end to form a circle.

She also saw him eyeing her chest, his amber eyes focused on the black four that stood out against the golden tan of her flesh and the white of her mask. She had yet to find a top that was large enough to accommodate her…_assets_, and as such had been wandering around with a jacket that hung open and revealed her rank to the world. Her sense of modesty didn't much like the fact he was staring at her chest, but at least now he should see her rank and learn his proper place.

"So you're the _cuarta_…" mused the redhead casually, as if he were unimpressed by her number. "I thought the only female we had among the Espada was that other girl, Nel."

"Are you implying that women aren't as strong as men?" asked Halibel, gritting her teeth behind her mask as she tightened her grip on _Tiburon_. Too many males had made the mistake of trying to prey on her in the past, thinking that she would be an easy target, and if this fool dared to think the same thing…

"Don't be so touchy; I'm not trying to offend you." said the man, giving an oh-so-slight bow of his head. "It's just that most of the others I met in the desert were males, and most of those I've met in the palace so far are also male. I'm guessing you encountered some sexism out in the desert, didn't you?"

"Who are you?" asked Halibel irritably, ignoring the question.

"Tyn Tethis, Espada number Six." he said, finally standing up. He stood taller than she did by a few inches, but as one of the few Vasto Lordes, Halibel knew full well that size didn't mean anything in this place.

"The _sexta_, and you think you could be at my throat before I even knew you were here?" scoffed Tia, finally removing her hand from her zanpaktou as she realized he was no threat to her, not with his lower rank.

Tyn vanished abruptly, a blur of movement that she could scarcely see for only a fraction of a second before he disappeared entirely.

"I'm fast." he whispered into her ear from behind, and she could almost _hear_ Tyn grinning in a playful manner as he spoke.

Halibel spun around with a snarl, curling her right hand into a tight fist as she prepared to tear his insolent head off, but Tyn had already moved back several meters out of harm's way.

"You're a lot stronger than I am…" the redhead was saying, "but my speed is unmatched by anything in Hueco Mundo."

"Speed won't be enough to save you in a fight." hissed the _cuarta_, and Tyn nodded in agreement.

"All the more reason I'm not looking for one." he said. "So, you come up here to escape all the noise, too?"

"What noise?" asked Tia, silently pleading her fracción wouldn't be involved.

"Well, there's three women down there who are being more than a little loud and obnoxious with their arguing. One of the _numeros_ went to tell them to shut up, and they did…long enough to put him through a wall. Then they went back to arguing."

"My fracción…" sighed Halibel, feeling slightly embarassed to know it was indeed them. "I had hoped that if I left them alone for a while, they would get the bickering out of their system."

"Fracción…" said Tyn, inviting himself to come stand beside the blond and look out at the desert with her. "I don't have any…haven't had any companions in a long time. How long have they been with you?"

"I don't know…a couple of years, perhaps? Time is impossible to tell here." said Tia, keeping a watchful eye on the _sexta_ in case he tried anything.

"Lucky you…" he sighed, a touch of genuine jealousy shining through in his voice, "I have strong pack instincts… I don't just want to be in the company of others, I _need_ it to stay sane. A raptor without a pack is a disgraceful thing."

"Then why don't you have any friends of your own?"

"And you can safely call them your friends, too…" said the redhead wistfully. "I have been through many packs since first coming to Hueco Mundo, and each one has ended up turning on me whenever the hunting gets scarce. They attack me in hunger, I kill them, feast, and move on to the next pack, and the cycle begins again."

Halibel could feel a small amount of pity for the other creature, but she didn't know anything to say that could ease his pain without making herself appear weak, and so she opted to remain silent and gaze up at the twinkling stars that dotted the night sky.

"I had been without a pack too long when Aizen found me…" he continued softly after a long pause. "I thought I would go mad wandering the desert alone, but Aizen appeared and told me that he could show me to others…that I could be part of a group again. He offered me the one thing I craved most, and so I followed him."

"Is it everything you wanted?" she asked him quietly.

"So far, it's not quite what I was promised…" Tyn admitted. "He said that unlike my past experiences, I would be able to trust this pack…but I don't. Espada number eight, Nnoitra, for example; I wouldn't trust him at my back for anything. And the number nine, Grimmjow…I honestly think he's insane."

"And the others?"

"You and Neliel are the only others I've met so far… I trust her, at least; I don't think she has the capacity to lie, and she said she hates unnecessary conflict. I think she'd sooner die than betray someone."

"I see… And what are your impressions of me, then?" asked Halibel, folding her arms over her chest.

"I don't think we're really that different, you and I…" he said, rubbing the tattoo on the back of his neck. "We both want a pack of our own to belong to, people we can trust… The difference is that you had better luck than I did and managed to find three you can depend on."

"So you're saying you think you can trust me?"

"I want to." said Tyn, idling resting his left hand on the hilt of his zanpaktou. There was nothing threatening about his posture, but Halibel took a step away from him all the same and kept her eyes locked on his sword.

"I don't trust _you_." she pointed out.

"You can, though…" Tyn said sincerely. "I will never betray my pack."

"Unless they betray you, right?" asked Tia, never tearing her eyes from his hand.

"Are you saying you will betray me at some point?"

"My loyalty is to my fracción and Lord Aizen first and foremost…but it's not in my nature to betray people." said Halibel, finally relaxing as he moved his hand away from his zanpaktou.

"That's a start, I guess… " said Tyn, looking away. "And as for Aizen-"

"Ah, _there_ you two are!" said a voice from behind them, and the duo turned to see Lord Aizen's right-hand man, Gin Ichimaru, heading towards them.

Halibel gave a low hiss underneath her mask, still bitter about Gin convincing Lord Aizen to tattoo her breast. She knew Gin wouldn't be able to hear her from this distance, but Tyn had and the _sexta_ had taken a step forward, making sure to position himself between her and Ichimaru.

She didn't need or want his "protection," but she understood what the gesture meant; it was his way of saying that a pack should look out for one another. It was his way of saying that she could trust him.

Gaining her trust wasn't going to be _that_ easy, not by a long shot, but Tia could at least admit to herself that she found herself more willing to trust Tyn than any other male she'd met so far, excluding Lord Aizen.

Lord Aizen… She hadn't missed how Tyn had neglected to refer to him as "Lord" during their conversation. Was that meant as blatant disrespect towards their leader, or was Tyn someone who simply didn't care for titles?

She decided it would be best to ask him about it later as Gin approached.

"We've been looking all over for you two…" the ex-shinigami was saying as he neared, "Lord Aizen has called for a formal meeting for all the Espada to get acquainted with each other, but it appears that you've beaten him to the punch; I wonder what he will say when he finds out the two of you were up here making out like a couple of teenagers?"

"_What_?" they both sputtered, confusion and anger in their voices.

"I would _never_ do such a thing!" spat Tia angrily, not even bothering to point out that her mask was an obvious hindrance to such acts.

"It's a rule of mine never to be intimate with something that might _eat_ me." said Tyn, sounding almost offended by the very notion.

"Now, now, kids…" said Ichimaru, giving them his trademark creepy smile, "there's nothing to be ashamed of; I'm sure Lord Aizen will understand. Perhaps he'll even allow you two lovebirds to share quarters…"

Both arrancars were now growling angrily as Ichimaru casually turned and walked away, motioning for them to follow him to the meeting. Tyn and Tia stood for a moment, fuming as they both considered what the consequences for murdering Gin would be. They glanced at each other briefly before finally falling into step behind the former Soul Reaper, wondering if he was really going to tell Lord Aizen such a ridiculous lie.

It was of no real concern, though; surely Lord Aizen would never believe anything so foolish.

Tia decided that while she didn't necessarily mind Tyn's company, there was no way in Hell she'd _ever_ "make out" with him.

* * *

_**-Karakura, Present-**_

It was nights like this that made her miss the serenity offered by the roof of Los Noches.

It was New Year's Eve, just a few hours from midnight, and she'd had the misfortune of being scheduled to work tonight. The already-crowded bar was only growing worse and worse with each passing hour as more people crammed themselves inside to wait for the coming of the New Year. The noise was deafening, but escape wasn't an option, not if she wanted to keep her job.

Nights like this made her question if pretending to be human was even worth it all.

She sighed and wiped the sweat off her brow as she poured another beer for a waiting customer. The heat was maddening, the heat of a hundred-plus humans crowded into a single small building and dancing about wildly in an impromptu party.

Party… The others were having a party themselves, more or less; Orihime was hosting a New Year's celebration at her house for the group, and all of the others would be there right about now, relaxing and enjoying the relative peace offered by such a small gathering. Halibel wouldn't really say that she _wanted_ to attend their party, but it would be preferable to the hell she was in now.

She poured another beer for a new customer at the end of the bar and slid the mug down to him, wondering why the hell humans felt the need to turn everything into a celebration. It was great to have a day to mark the beginning of a new year; in Hueco Mundo, there had been no way to discern time. Still, why couldn't people just mark the day on their calendars and go on with their lives? Why did they have to make it into a stupid party?

Her preference would have been to stay home and watch a movie, just like any other night; let the humans have their meaningless little parties while she enjoyed a quiet evening with Tyn.

Tyn…

The memory flashed through her mind again in the span of a couple of brief seconds, bringing a small frown to her face as she moved to clean up a small pool of spilt liquor on the countertop.

The raptor had said that he needed a pack to stay sane, and he'd been right; no matter how she looked at it, he hadn't been the same since returning from his exile in the desert. Every now and then she could see fragments of the old Tyn resurface, but she was beginning to doubt that he'd ever fully recover.

His plan to hide their activities from Urahara had made _some_ sense…from a slightly mad point of view. She was well-aware that he thought it to be ingenious, worthy of his old self, but she couldn't disagree more.

Urahara was a genius with a near-photographic memory; if they had simply fixed the broken lock to his shop, he still would have noticed that someone had been through there. Something accidentally knocked out of place by a half inch, a partial footprint on the floor, anything that wasn't _exactly_ as he'd left it would raise suspicion. Forging a cover story as to why they had been there made sense, but it could have gone without all the blood.

Unfortunately, what was done was done, and while there would undoubtedly be questions, there would be no proof of anything other than the cover story of Tyn's accident at Burger World.

She and Ulquiorra had discussed other possibilities on the car ride to pick up Orihime that night, including the idea of using Urahara's memory eraser to make Hiroki forget everything, but that idea had been quickly shot down; neither of them knew where he kept it in the shop, and browsing through too many drawers would also arouse Urahara's suspicions when he came home and saw everything out of place.

Besides, the idea of Grimmjow finding out that such an item existed and where it was kept hidden was frightening; the mischief the _sexta_ would cause with it ranged from harmless pranks to pure evil. If nothing else, she could easily imagine him using it to fry Kurosaki's brain and leave the hapless shinigami thinking he was Sailor Moon.

She couldn't help but smirk at the mental image of 'Sailor Strawberry.'

And, of course, the thought of Hiroki waking up and screaming about monsters every night for the rest of his natural life brought her a perverse sense of joy…

Tia looked out at the mass of people in the bar: some seated, some standing against the wall, others clogging the floor with dancing… She spied Kishiko and her fiancé among the dancing crowd and while the other girl was supposed to be working at the moment, Halibel supposed that she couldn't deny her a few minutes with her lover.

She looked away quickly, pouring another beer and trying to suppress the tiny bit of jealousy that she felt swelling in her gut. She was over Hiroki already; it had been easy to stop caring about the treacherous human after he'd revealed his true nature, but that didn't mean she didn't feel alone now. The memory of Los Noches resurfaced again, and she wondered if this was similar to the loneliness Tyn had felt when they'd been discussing her fracción.

Halibel wished she'd had something to say that day, something that could have reassured him back then and something that would comfort her now, but there was nothing.

At least the others were together and having a good time right about now…

* * *

"Oh, God, it burns, it _burns_! Pie isn't supposed to burn! Make it stop!"

Normally, Ulquiorra would have felt the need to chide Grimmjow for being overly-dramatic as the _sexta_ thrashed about in the floor clutching at his throat, but such a reaction from Orihime's Aizen-Killer Pie had been expected, and as such Ulquiorra had yet to touch his own slice. He'd known the pie to be a virtual death trap, though morbid curiosity over just _how_ bad it was had kept him from warning the others away from it.

Starrk had taken one bite, forcibly chewed and swallowed it, and then made a mad dash for the bathroom, bowling over both Tyn and Lilynette in his haste. Tyn had picked himself up from the floor and darted outside where he was now spitting up the poisonous pie all over the bushes, bushes that would no doubt be dead by daybreak. Lilynette had been more cautious than her elders at least, having only taken a very miniscule bite before immediately spitting it out and downing an entire can of soda to wash away the taste.

"You guys don't _like_ my pie, do you?" asked Orihime, sounding a bit hurt.

Ulquiorra took her distraction as an opportunity to dump his own slice into the garbage as Lilynette was climbing up on the back of the couch, looking down at a now green-faced Grimmjow.

"Don't worry, fathead; I'll save you!" she called out.

The downed _sexta_ managed to gurgle out an unintelligible reply, prompting Lilynette to jump off the couch and drive her elbow deep into the ailing Grimmjow's midsection, dislodging the cursed confectionary and sending the deadly chunk of pie flying through the air before splattering against the far wall.

"Chili powder has no place in pies, and neither does tofu, red bean paste, or fish…" wheezed Starrk as he finally emerged from the bathroom, looking haggard as he wiped his mouth off with a washrag.

"It wasn't _that_ bad, was it?" asked Orihime, handing Starrk a drink.

"You're trying to _kill_ us!" exclaimed Grimmjow as he finally picked himself up off the floor, his color slowly returning to normal. "What the hell, woman? I thought you were on our side!"

"That statement is uncalled for, Grimmjow." warned Ulquiorra, a little surprised to find himself taking offense at how rude the other arrancar was being towards Orihime.

"Oh, don't act all high and mighty!" sneered Grimmjow, "I _saw_ you dump yours in the trash!"

"Ulqui, is that true?" asked Orihime, looking heartbroken.

He had no answer, nothing he could tell her that would mend the sense of hurt she was feeling right now, and as Grimmjow grinned triumphantly at him, Ulquiorra found himself wishing he could simply disappear.

"…is this a bad time?" asked a voice, mercifully drawing the attention away from the _cuarto_.

Everyone turned to see Neliel standing in the doorway, helping a frazzled-looking Tyn back inside.

"I need a beer or seven…" muttered Tyn as he stumbled over to the couch and fell down. "And if I _ever_ see another pie again in this century, it'll be too soon."

No one paid the _quinto_ any mind, though, as it was the unexpected appearance of the former _tres_ Espada that had captured their attention.

She wasn't in her gigai and no one failed to notice the shinigami's black shihakushō that she was wearing, or the lieutenant's badge proudly displayed on her left arm, both of which were a sharp contrast to the remains of her hollow mask still perched atop her head. It was a far cry from the Neliel they remembered from Los Noches, but then again Nel had never displayed the same killer instinct as the other Espada, and as such the new look seemed much more appropriate for her.

"I can come back another time if that would be better…" she said slowly, her hazel eyes betraying just how nervous she felt by the awkward silence and the way everyone was staring at her.

"Oh no, you're always welcome here, Nel!" chirped Orihime happily, forgetting all about feeling hurt over everyone's opinion of her cooking as she came forward and dragged the green-haired woman into the room. "We just didn't expect to see you!"

"Well, I told Grimmy earlier this month that I'd try to come by and see everyone eventually…didn't he tell you?"

All eyes turned towards Grimmjow, who simply shrugged it off dismissively.

"So I forgot; big fucking deal."

"Nel!" cried Lilynette, flinging herself at the ex-Espada and hugging her tightly. "We missed you!"

"I missed you guys, too…" she said softly, ruffling the younger girl's hair affectionately. "I would have been here sooner, but today is Yoruichi and Kisuke's birthday and I wanted to spend a little time with them first."

"I see you didn't bring your pet Soul Reaper with you…" said Grimmjow, grinning as he stepped up beside her and went to put an arm around her waist.

"Don't get any ideas…" she warned, deflecting his arm and taking a step away, "We're getting married in the spring. He just wants to spend tonight with his sister to celebrate her birthday, and I want to celebrate New Year's with _my_ family."

"Crash and burn!" giggled Lilynette, prompting Grimmjow to swat at her angrily. The smaller arrancar easily dodged the attack, taking refuge behind Nel and sticking her tongue out at the _sexta_.

"Where's Halibel?" asked Neliel, making sure to keep herself between Lilynette and Grimmjow as she looked around the room, "I thought she was in Karakura, too."

"She had to work tonight…" said Starrk. "She won't get off until two in the morning."

"That's no good…" frowned Nel. "How is she doing, at least? Is she adjusting to her new life okay?"

"Ask Tyn; he lives with her."

"Really?" asked Nel, suddenly sounding excited. "Feathers, I didn't know you and Halibel were together! That's _so_ sweet! I always knew-"

"It's not like _that_…" growled Tyn from his spot face-down on the couch. "We're just roommates, not a mated pair."

"Oh, come on!" said Nel, forcibly pulling Tyn up to a sitting position and pinching his cheeks playfully, "You two were always so _cute_ together!"

"We were not!" sputtered Tyn. "We were never 'together' and never will be!"

He decided not to mention what had happened Christmas night, remembering Tia's promise of a swift death if he should ever tell a soul that they had shared a bed. It was, he thought, a one-time occurrence that was best left forgotten.

"But you two always seemed to talk a lot in Los Noches…" she pointed out, squishing Tyn's cheeks together. "Don't even try and deny it!"

"We talked, that was it." said Tyn gruffly, finally pulling free of Nel's grasp. "We had things in common, so we talked. Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"I've always wondered if their brat would have fins or feathers…" teased Grimmjow, directing a mean-spirited grin towards the _quinto_.

Ulquiorra sighed as both Tyn and Grimmjow began to argue back and forth, throwing enough death threats back and forth at each other to encourage both Nel and Starrk to step between them before the inevitable brawl broke out. He wondered if the group as a whole would ever have a get-together that didn't end with Grimmjow picking a fight with someone…

The doorbell rang, and he looked over at Orihime to see if she was going to answer it, only to see that she had stepped in-between the squabbling fools as well, desperately trying to keep the peace. Seeing as she was busy, Ulquiorra decided to open the door himself, wondering who it could be at this hour…

Tatsuki Arisawa.

Oh, crap.

He saw the recognition flash in her eyes, and he knew full well that she was remembering the first and last time they'd met, back when he was still serving Lord Aizen and had come to Karakura with Yammy. Ulquiorra remembered very well referring to her and the other humans as "trash" and giving Yammy permission to kill them, and that incident had been why Orihime had taken great pains to keep Arisawa from finding out that the _cuarto_ was now living with her.

The polite thing to do was to greet the girl and apologize for their last encounter.

How unfortunate it was that she just didn't seem to give a damn about an apology.

*POW!*

* * *

It was eleven o'clock, leaving only three hours left before Halibel could go home and put all the noise and drunken celebrations behind her, and she couldn't wait; the bar was filled to it's max capacity, and the heat was unbearable, and the excessive noise was enough to push any sane individual to the very brink of madness.

"You doing okay, Tia?" asked Kishi cheerfully as she loaded up her serving tray with longneck bottles to take out to the floor.

"Not exactly…" sighed the blond, running a hand through her sweat-soaked hair as she began to seriously consider ditching the bar and escaping.

"I understand… You're still not over Hiroki, and you have to be here to deal with all of this…" said Kishi, patting Tia on the shoulder. "Where's your roommate? I thought he would be here for you, at least."

"No, I'm _definitely_ over that worm…" spat Tia angrily, scowling at the mere mention of Hiroki's name. "And as for Tyn, he's probably with our other…_friends_ right now, at their party."

"Says a lot about them if they couldn't be bothered to come by and see you tonight." said Sachi bitterly, leaning on the bar heavily. "Sometimes I think we're the only decent people you know, Tia."

"It's not like that; my niece is there, and so is…" Halibel fumbled for what to call Orihime as she quickly cleaned out a mug for a waiting customer, "…and so is my _cousin_. They're both underage, so they can't come in here."

"At least you have us!" said Kishiko with a reassuring grin as she finished loading up her tray and made her way back out onto the floor.

"Yeah, right…" sighed Tia under her breath as she watched both women disappear into the writhing mass of bodies in the bar, leaving her to tend the bar all by herself.

* * *

"I think I love you."

Tatsuki stared at the blue-haired stranger in irritation as she sat with an icepack on her bruised knuckles, with the pale bastard on the other side of the room holding an icepack to his own jaw. She'd come to spend some time with Orihime, not to find herself surrounded by a bunch of strangers that included that murderous _thing_ from the park and her new 'admirer.'

"Leave her alone, Grimmy." chided Nel. "I think the poor girl has enough to deal with right now without you coming on to her."

"Oh, come on!" protested Grimmjow. "She punched Ulquiorra in the head as soon as she saw him, and I'm not allowed to respect that? Am I the only one who found it funny?"

"_I_ thought it was pretty funny…" giggled Lilynette, poking at the pale man sitting in the corner.

"Grimmjow, telling her that you love her for hitting me is not the same as respecting her." pointed out Ulquiorra, and Tatsuki snarled at the mere sound of his voice.

"Calm down, Tatsuki…" pleaded Orihime, having already told her the story of the Espada and why they were in Karakura now. "I promise, he's not a bad guy anymore."

"He's still a prick, though." added Grimmjow with a grin. "You should really hit him again."

"Keep it up and I'll hit _you_ next." Tatsuki growled at him, eliciting a cheer from Lilynette and a grin from Starrk. "Jeez, why didn't you _tell_ me, Orihime? Don't you think I deserved to know?"

"Well, I was kind of afraid this would happen if you found out…" said the other teen, chewing on her lip nervously. "And I really didn't want you two to fight, so I thought it might be better to just keep it a secret and make sure you never met each other."

"And the others here?" asked Tatsuki warily, "They all served that Aizen guy, too? They were all evil?"

"Well…kinda, I guess…" said Orihime, "But I think the word 'evil' is a little strong…"

"I'm fine with it." said Grimmjow. "Unlike the rest of these poor bastards, _I_ take pride in what I am."

"And you wonder why I refused to be your mate…" muttered Neliel, shaking her head slowly as she browsed the food selections sitting out on the dining room table. "Ooh, pie!"

"_No_!" cried the other Espada in unison, with Grimmjow diving across the table and snatching the entire pie pan away from her roughly.

"Hey!" called Nel as Grimmjow ran outside and flung the so-called Aizen-Killer far into the distance, pan and all.

"Trust me, he just did you a favor." said Starrk, putting a hand on her shoulder.

"But I _like_ pie…"

"Not that pie…" said Lilynette. "I mean, why do you think Tyn was outside throwing up earlier? Right, Tyn? …Tyn?"

Everyone in the room looked at each other, noticing for the first time that the redhead had vanished.

"Where the hell did he go?" asked Lilynette in a huff. "He can't just _leave_ without telling us goodbye!"

* * *

"I wonder if my sweet, sweet Ikkaku is thinking of me right now…"

Keigo Asano looked over at his elder sister Mizuho as if she were legitimately insane at that, knowing that there was no possible way the bald man in question was thinking of her. In fact, he was pretty sure that Ikkaku also thought she was insane, only speaking to her in order to ensure he always had a free place to stay whenever he was in town.

"That guy scares me sometimes…" Keigo said instead, thinking it to be a lesser evil than saying exactly what was on his mind.

"What was that?" roared Mizuho, grabbing Keigo by the front of his coat and shaking it violently, the very fires of Hell burning in her eyes. "How _dare_ you speak about your future brother-in-law like that!"

"I'm sorry!" whimpered Keigo, shaking. "I didn't mean it, honest! I love him like a brother! He's a great guy!"

"I know!" Mizuho agreed cheerfully, giving a dreamy smile as she released her hold on Keigo and let him fall back into the snow. "He's so strong and ruggedly handsome!"

Keigo picked himself up as his psychotic and quite possibly bi-polar sister danced about in the snow, babbling about how perfect Ikkaku was and how she wanted their eventual wedding to be. Man, why couldn't she have just stayed home? He'd _intentionally_ forgot to pick up the juice today so he'd have an excuse to leave the house later and get away from her, but she'd decided to tag along! It just wasn't fair!

A small sliver of movement across the night sky interrupted his sulking, demanding that he focus his attention on the bizarre phenomenon. Karakura had no shortage of strange occurrences, that was for sure, and he wondered if this was yet another 'end of the world' event he was witnessing.

"Mizuho…" he began, squinting his eyes to try and get a better focus on the object flying through the night sky, "I think I see a UFO!"

"Don't be a moron!" snapped his sister, angered at having her daydreams of Ikkaku interrupted by her brother's insane ramblings. "There's no such things as UFOs, dumbass!"

"No, really!" Keigo protested. "I see a flying saucer, and it's getting closer! I think it's coming right for-"

*WHAM!*

"Ooh, pie!"

* * *

Midnight was only a few short minutes away and Tia was anxious for the dawn of the new year, if for no other reason than many patrons would finally leave shortly after midnight and hopefully reduce the noise level to a dull roar.

All eyes were focused on the wall-mounted televisions scattered throughout The Oasis, the anticipation palpable. Halibel sighed as she walked around the bar out to the floor to get a better view of one of the televisions herself, wondering exactly how much time was left.

A few feet to her right, Kishiko was leaning against her fiancé, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist, and Tia looked away as she rolled her eyes in disgust. Ugh, humans and their need for public displays of affection!

"I think we're the only two women in here without a man tonight, Tia…" said Sachi, leaning against the bar.

"No, just you…" corrected a voice, and both women turned to see Tyn standing behind Tia, sipping on a longneck bottle. "Couldn't leave you here all by yourself, could I?"

"Tyn…" said Halibel softly, not sure what to say. Sachi, however, knew _exactly_ what to say.

"Get _out _of here, you abusive psychopath!" she yelled. "She doesn't need _you_ hanging around! Dunc! Dunc, come throw this loser out!"

The crowd parted as the muscular bouncer made his way over to see what the commotion was and Tia suppressed a groan, knowing that Tyn was likely to give that mad little grin of his and just _dare_ Dunc to touch him. She didn't want them to fight, not here, not now, not ever-

"There a problem here?" asked the big man, peering down at Tyn.

"Doesn't have to be…" said the raptor calmly, finishing his beer and placing the empty bottle on the bar as he looked up at Dunc with cold eyes, his face impassive.

It was a response more like the _old_ Tyn she remembered from Hueco Mundo, the former _sexta_ who didn't let every little nuisance get under his skin and didn't go about daring people to try him. She fought back a grin as Dunc backed down first and broke eye contact with Tyn, looking in her direction for guidance with a small glimmer of trepidation showing in his eyes.

Dunc was an experienced bouncer and had been in many fights throughout his career and his youth, and though he clearly recognized the quiet danger represented by the smaller man, he still had a job to do.

"Miss Halibel? Everything okay?" he asked Tia, and she could see him just _hoping_ she'd say everything was okay.

"It's fine, Dunc; go enjoy the party." she said with a light smile, dismissing him.

"It is _not_ fine!" yelled Sachi as the big man quickly disappeared back into the crowd, incensed that Tyn was being allowed to stay. "He's a menace-"

"Oh, shut up!" hissed Kishi, seizing the other woman by the arm and pulling her away.

"I didn't expect to see you here…" Tia said softly, finally allowing herself a small smile. "But I'm glad you came."

"Party got pretty boring after Ulquiorra got punched out, anyway…" said Tyn dismissively, scratching the back of his head. "Thought it might be more entertaining here. Besides, I figured you might be feeling a little lonely now that Hiroki is gone, and-"

"Wait…" said Halibel, her smile quickly fading. "Are you telling me that you're only here out of sympathy? Because you _pity_ me? Because you think I'm not strong enough to get through the night without someone?"

"Wait, wait, _wait_! I didn't mean it like that!" said Tyn defensively.

"Then just how _did_ you mean it?" she growled, literally getting nose to nose with him as she curled her hands into tight fists, indignant rage showing in her green eyes. "I don't need you or anyone else to pity me! I'm just fine, you hear me?"

"Jesus, why do you always have to take things the wrong way?"

"Why do you always have to say the wrong goddamned thing?" she retorted angrily.

"Because you think everything I say is wrong!"

"Because you're an _idiot_!"

"Ha!" laughed Sachi from her spot over near Kishi and her fiancé. "I knew she couldn't stand that jerk!"

"No, that's not it at all…" said Kishi slowly, shaking her head. "I think they're both just stubborn. Really, stupidly stubborn. I think they just need a little help…"

The crowd had already began to chant along with the countdown of the last fifteen seconds as Kishiko made a show of slowly dancing across the floor with her fiancé and 'accidentally' bumping into Tia, who was still nose to nose with Tyn. The blond gave a short yelp as she stumbled forward into Tyn's arms and went silent as her lips went crashing into his.

"Oops…" said Kishiko, feigning innocence, "My bad."

Eight seconds left until midnight, and for a brief moment it looked as if Tyn and Tia might pull away from one another, their eyes wide with shock over what was happening, but their surprise quickly faded as Tyn gently placed his hands on Tia's hips and pulled her closer while she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Instinct and emotion had taken hold now and nothing else mattered: there was no bar, no party, no crowd, no noise; there was only the two of them and the kiss.

"And that…" Kishi told her fiancé and Sachi with a mischievous grin, "is how you have a Happy New Year."

* * *

Orihime wasn't sure _how_ she had been talked into sneaking into the bar along with the others to find Tyn and Tia, and she suddenly found herself wishing she had followed Tatsuki's example and refused to come. A bar was no place for a girl her age! God, the smell of smoke and alcohol was gagging her and making her eyes water, and the noise, the dreadful noise! At this rate, she was pretty sure her eardrums were going to spontaneously explode!

She stood beside Ulquiorra, gripping his hand nervously as they meandered through the crowd of people. She hoped no one would spot her, that she wouldn't get caught and get into trouble. Maybe if they were all really quiet and didn't draw any attention to themselves, no one would notice her.

Thoughts of sneaking through the crowds quietly were shattered however as Grimmjow was roughly shoving people out of his way left and right, demanding that everyone step aside and let him through or else.

At least Starrk was being a bit more polite as he brushed people aside and Neliel, since she wasn't in a gigai and normal humans couldn't see or hear her, was gently pushing people out of the way as the little group made their way through the bar.

Of them all, Lilynette seemed to be having the least amount of trouble navigating the sea of people as the girl used her smaller size to dart about the bar quickly, looking for their two lost members.

"I can't find them…" she whispered when she finally came back. "I don't know if they're even here."

Midnight struck and the crowd of humans erupted into a deafening cheer before bursting into drunken song, swaying back and forth as they celebrated the arrival of the new year.

"They must be here somewhere…" Ulquiorra said. "Surely Halibel did not simply abandon her job and go home."

"Well, maybe-" Orihime began, but cut herself off as the crowd parted ever so slightly, revealing a scene that neither she or the Espada had quite been expecting. Neliel clasped her hands together happily and cheered at the sight, but her excitement was easily drowned out by the noise of the singing humans.

Only Lilynette's surprised voice was loud enough to cut through all of the noise in the crowded bar.

"Holy shit, they're making out!"


	30. Unwelcome Surprises

**Unwelcome Surprises**

_"Love thy neighbor, because it's illegal to kill them."_

For all the fanfare and celebration humans indulged in at the dawning of the new year, it seemed so pointless in retrospect. Despite all the partying and promises of a "new year and a new beginning," _nothing_ had changed: Starrk was _still_ stuck at Burger World, still manning the drive-through, Ulquiorra was still an emotionless bore, Grimmjow was still insane, and Tyn and Tia…

Well, he wasn't exactly sure _what_ was going on with them anymore, not after what he'd witnessed at the bar two weeks ago; Tyn had stubbornly refused to tell anyone what, if anything, was going on between the two of them now, saying only that everyone should mind their own business, and Halibel had been equally uncooperative.

They had to be the two most stubborn individuals he'd ever known.

"As much as I hate how cold and wet snow is, it definitely has it's uses…" Tyn was saying from his spot leaning up against the wall. "It's the lunch hour rush, and we haven't had a single customer yet because of all the snow."

"I think that has more to do with Grimmjow and his new hobby than with the weather…" observed Starrk dryly, watching the _sexta_ in question through the window.

Tyn and Tia may have been the two most stubborn people he knew, but Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez was far and away the most mentally-disturbed creature he'd ever met.

Grimmjow had been outside all morning, having been tasked with clearing away all the snow from the restaurant and parking lot to make the place more appealing to cold and hungry patrons going up and down the road. It was an easy task, a simple task, something that nobody could possibly screw up, and yet…

"They are amazingly detailed, aren't they?" asked Tyn.

"And entirely inappropriate." said Ulquiorra disapprovingly, although Starrk noted that he didn't seem inclined to go outside and tell Grimmjow to stop.

It had started as simple snowmen, completely innocent-looking snowmen. It could have easily turned into a heartwarming family-friendly scene that would draw in customers with it's simple charm and make for a profitable day.

Then Grimmjow had "borrowed" some food coloring from the kitchen as well as a plastic knife and had begun sculpting them into something considerably more disturbing.

In front of the restaurant, in full view of passing cars, were two snowmen; one snowman had blue hair and the other was actually a busty, green-haired snow-_woman_ that was clinging to him as if he were some kind of hero. On either side of them were two broom handles firmly implanted into the snow, each with a severed snowman head mounted on top of them; one with orange hair, and the other with short, brown hair. On the ground in front of it all was a pile of snow that had been painstakingly-crafted to resemble two headless bodies, bodies that appeared to be dressed in shinigami garb.

A trip out back to the dumpster had revealed yet _another_ headless body, this time one that appeared to be dressed as an Espada. The severed head, complete with generous amounts of red food color dripping from where the neck used to be, was mounted on top of the drive-through menu.

On either side of the side door were two more severed heads, one with red hair sitting atop the trash can, with the other, black-haired snowman head resting on the windowsill.

"Should we be concerned with the fact he keeps making severed heads? Namely _our_ severed heads?" asked Tyn.

"It's harmless self-expression." Starrk said with a shrug. "I'm just impressed with his artistic skill; the heads of you and Ulquiorra are pretty spot-on. He even detailed your masks perfectly."

"He may have gone overboard with the red food coloring, though…" said Tyn, scratching the back of his head. "I mean, that's a lot of blood for only four headless bodies, don't you think?"

"Oh, give him time; he hasn't made Urahara yet, or Ichigo's dad, or Tia, or Lilynette, or anyone else he knows. I'm sure if we wait, there'll be a dozen bodies out there before our shift is over."

"And how is it that you're okay with this Ulquiorra?" questioned Tyn, turning his attention to the _cuarto_. "Usually, you'd be out there telling him to knock it off and go scrub the toilets."

"Because he is not harming anyone for once. So long as he's not assaulting customers, I can permit him some freedom." said Ulquiorra dismissively.

"Not hurting anyone?" asked Starrk incredulously. "I'm pretty sure that any children who see his 'art' will be emotionally scarred for life."

"If you wish to go tear it all down, you are free to do so."

"And then we'll probably have customers start showing up…" said Tyn sourly, giving Starrk pause for a few moments.

"What's a few more hours?" he said finally. "Second shift can deal with it."

The side door chimed as Grimmjow finally hauled himself inside for a break, unzipping his coat and shaking the snow from his hands as he made for the coffee pot. He looked out the window as he poured himself a cup of hot coffee, looking quite pleased with his horrifying handiwork.

"You're sick, you know that?" asked Starrk.

"I'm _gifted_." Grimmjow corrected smugly.

"I'm voting for 'deranged' personally." Tyn said as the side door chimed again, signaling a new arrival. All eyes turned towards the door, wondering who would even _want_ to come to Burger World after seeing Grimmjow's "house of horrors" outside.

Starrk was pretty sure it was the police.

"Love the new décor you've got out there…" said the visitor sarcastically as he pulled back the hood of his coat and removed the scarf from around his face to reveal the substitute shinigami himself, Ichigo Kurosaki.

"You have any fucking idea how long it took me to get your hair right, you prick?" asked Grimmjow as he sipped on his coffee. "You're always a pain in the ass, Kurosaki, even when you're not around."

"Shouldn't you be in school today?" asked Tyn.

"In case you haven't noticed, we have eight inches of snow on the ground and the roads are iced over; school is closed." said the teenager irritably. "Lilynette came by earlier to grab Karin and go to the park and start a snowball war with some other kids."

"Then why the hell are you here bothering us?" Grimmjow asked sourly. "Go play with your sister or play in traffic or something."

"Well, funny thing; I thought you guys might be able to help me…" said Ichigo, pulling out a cellphone and tapping a few buttons on it. "Woke up this morning and found an odd sculpture in my front yard… Seeing as you seem to have such an 'accomplished' artist here, I thought you guys might be able to give me some insight as to who could be responsible."

He held the phone out for the Espada to gather around and look at the picture in question. There was silence for a moment before Grimmjow broke out in a loud guffaw, collapsing against the front counter as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Oh my God…" breathed Starrk. "That's horrible."

"Is that what I think it is?" asked Tyn. "Is that a-"

"It's a seven foot snow penis." Ichigo confirmed.

"That's _awesome_!" laughed Grimmjow. "I'd punch a baby to have seen the look on your face when you saw that! Your old man's face, too!"

"I don't suppose any of you might _possibly_ know who's responsible, do you?" asked Ichigo, narrowing his eyes at Grimmjow angrily.

"Hey, wait just a minute…" said Grimmjow, his laughter finally quieting down. "I said it was awesome, _not _that I did it."

"And who else would do such a thing, you maniac?" Ichigo demanded as he dropped his phone on the counter. "Jesus, Grimmjow, my kid sisters saw that thing!"

"Well, they gotta learn about the birds and the bees sooner or later, right?" snickered the unapologetic _sexta_. "Still, I didn't do it. Seriously, just look at that pile of crap and then look outside!"

"You're not fooling anyone, Grimmjow! This time, I'm going to kick your sorry ass!" roared Kurosaki, tackling him in a fit of rage and sending both men tumbling into the dining room, trading blows the entire way.

"You know…" Tyn began, picking up the cellphone and looking at the picture again as Grimmjow and Ichigo continued to fight, "The moron might be telling the truth; it's nowhere near as detailed as his other works."

"And he'd have probably used food coloring to accentuate it…" observed Starrk, glancing out the window at the various sculptures surrounding the restaurant. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think he's innocent for once."

"Yeah, but who else is there? I know _I_ didn't do it. You?"

"Not me." said Starrk, holding his hands up defensively.

"Then it _has_ to be Grimmjow, right?" asked Tyn, looking back up at the no-holds-barred brawl going on in the dining room.

Neither man noticed the faint, almost nonexistent smile on Ulquiorra's lips as he innocently counted the money in the register.

* * *

Snow days tended to be the best days to work in Tia's opinion; the cold deterred most people from trudging outside and through the snow to go anywhere that wasn't strictly necessary, including the bar. Sure, less customers meant less tips but it was a worthwhile sacrifice every now and then. With almost eight inches of snow on the ground, today was indeed the perfect work day.

Pity she'd had the day scheduled off.

She sighed in irritation, the exhale of her breath visible in the cold air as she looked across the street towards her destination.

"There?" she asked.

"Yep!" chirped Neliel brightly. "My favorite store in the human world!"

"Nel…it's a bookstore."

"I know! Isn't it great?" exclaimed the ex-Espada, grabbing Halibel by the wrist and dragging her across the nearly-frozen road to the store.

Halibel had been unable to spend much time with Neliel two weeks ago on New Years before the arrancar-turned-shinigami had needed to return home and had been talked into scheduling a day off to rectify the situation. It hadn't been easy to secure a day off at first, but three days of haggling with her manager had finally netted Tia the victory.

Neliel, of course, had encountered significantly less resistance to her request for time off, but Tia had expected as much given that the other woman was engaged to her captain.

Browsing through a massive bookstore wasn't anywhere remotely near the top of Halibel's list of things she'd wanted to accomplish today, but she supposed it would have been selfish to refuse to come; after all, Neliel had said that she usually only got a chance to visit the human world once a month while Tia lived there full-time.

She pulled the hood back on her coat and unzipped the top a little as she followed Neliel through the store and down the aisles, thankful at least that it was good and warm inside the store.

"I still can't believe you're going to marry a soul reaper…" said Tia, shaking her head as Nel browsed through the books. "It just seems so…_unnatural_."

"Well, you and the others have a different view because you actually fought against them in the war, I guess." said Nel, flipping through a book for a moment before placing it back on the shelf. "But they're not really bad guys at all. An is a sweetheart; I think you'd like him if you met him."

"I doubt that." scoffed Tia. "But it's not my place to judge; as long as you're happy, then I suppose I'm happy for you."

"I wish you and the others could attend…" Neliel said sadly. "But it's in the Seireitei, and if the Head-Captain found out you and the others were still around…"

"I don't believe in wedding ceremonies, anyway." said Tia dismissively. "All that should matter is that two people have chosen to be mates; why should there have to be some stupid ceremony in front of a hundred people or so in order to declare it to the world?"

"It's a gathering of your closest friends and family; they're there to celebrate the occasion with you." said Nel with a shrug. "I mean, I _guess_ I can kind of see your point, but I like the idea of it myself. I'm just worried about how it's actually going to turn out since Rangiku and Yoruichi have pretty much taken over all the planning; I think they're going to go overboard with everything."

"Take charge, then; seize control back from them. It's _your_ wedding, after all." said Tia picking up a novel with an innocent-looking apple on the cover.

"Vampires do _not_ sparkle!" yelled Neliel abruptly, snatching the book from her hands and roughly shoving it back onto the shelf.

"…okay?" asked Tia a confused Tia, looking around at all the other patrons in the store who were staring at the two women as if they might be insane.

"Crazy author…" explained Neliel. "Ulqui is more like a vampire than those _things_ she writes about."

"Aren't all authors mentally disturbed, anyway?" asked Tia, suddenly imagining Ulquiorra dressed in a classic Dracula costume and speaking with a bad European accent.

"More or less, but some are worse than others…" said Nel, looking up and out for a moment as if she saw something no one else could. "Like…oh, never mind."

The rest of the visit to the bookstore passed by peacefully, with no more random outbursts from Neliel that made Tia question the poor girl's mental health. The ex-Espada finished her shopping and paid for her five books as Tia stood by the door, zipping her coat back up as she waited for her friend. Finished with her purchase, Nel zipped her own coat up and the duo exited the store, heading for the apartment next.

"So…what about you and Feathers?" asked Neliel finally, eliciting a sigh from Tia. She'd known the question to be coming after all of their talks of Neliel and her own relationship, but that didn't mean she was eager to discuss it.

"What about us?" Halibel asked defensively. "There's nothing to tell."

"Don't lie to me!" Neliel pressured her. "I _saw_ you two on New Year's!"

"And you saw us break apart and say it was an accident. I tripped and fell into him, that's all."

"I also saw how he kept hanging on you the rest of the night when the others weren't looking, _including_ when he followed you into the storeroom." Neliel pointed out accusingly. "So tell me, what's going on between you two now? What happened after you went home?"

"Nothing." sighed a defeated Tia, "And that's the problem…"

* * *

_**-2 Weeks Ago, New Year's-**_

The party at The Oasis was over and all the patrons had gone home for the night, including Orihime, Ulquiorra, Neliel, and the others. Only Tyn had remained through the brief clean-up at the bar, pitching in and rushing to get the job done while Tia worked more slowly and methodically as she reflected on the insanity of the evening.

Earlier they'd broke away from one another when they'd heard Lilynette's voice, hiding behind the excuse that Tia had tripped and that it wasn't what it looked like, but she sincerely doubted that anyone had believed them. Hell, she couldn't even make herself believe it, not with the way Tyn had been following her around the rest of the evening, sniffing at her hair, growling in her ear and nipping at her neck when the others weren't looking.

And then, _then_ he had followed her into the stockroom when she went to retrieve another couple of bottles of champagne for the customers! She'd been surprised when she heard the door shut behind her and had turned around just in time for Tyn to grab her hips and pull her in close again, kissing her with a passion that Hiroki had _never_ been able to achieve…and she had enjoyed every sinful second of it rather than trying to push the amorous arrancar away.

Christ, if Kishi hadn't knocked on the door asking if she needed an extra hand with the champagne, Tia wasn't sure _what_ would have happened.

The quick clean-up at the bar had passed without further incident however, and the ride home with Tyn had been incredibly quiet and subdued. She'd half expected him to make another grab for her during the elevator ride up to their floor but Tyn had kept his hands to himself and acted very calm and very normal, leaving Tia to believe that whatever madness had taken hold of him earlier had finally released the _quinto_ from it's grip.

A small part of her mourned the return to normal but she consoled herself with the knowledge that it was probably better this way; in the unlikely event that they were to ever have anything together, it would be best to take it slow so as to give both parties plenty of time to decide if they truly wanted to get involved with one another.

She thought nothing further of the incident as they entered the apartment, unzipping her coat and hanging it on the rack by the door, but she had barely released the coat when she sensed movement behind her. Tia had turned just in time to have Tyn grab her hips again and back her against the wall, sandwiching the _tercera_ and leaving her no escape route other than through him.

But escape was the furthest thing from her mind as she allowed him to taste her lips, savoring the wild thrill of it all as he reached up and 'helped' her out of her black vest that was part of her work uniform. Tia pulled him closer as he finished with the vest and began working on undoing her black tie, momentarily forgetting all about the notion of waiting and taking things slow.

She briefly remembered the night she almost had with Hiroki and how she'd backed out at the last minute, but she didn't feel the same reservations here and now; she didn't mind the fact that they were going to end up in the bedroom and found herself actually _wanting_ it.

Tyn's madness had now taken hold of her but Tia couldn't make herself care.

It was only when the black tie hit the floor and Tyn reached up and grabbed her white button-up shirt, preparing to tear it open, that she realized that they probably weren't even going make it to the bedroom and finally remembered the notion of taking it slow.

"No…" she murmured as he pulled his lips away from hers for a split second, reaching up to grab his hands and stop him from ripping the buttons free. "We shouldn't do this…not yet. We should wait."

"You're right…" he breathed, opting to bury his face in her neck for a moment and kiss the exposed flesh. "We're going too fast."

"We should slow down…" she gasped as he bit her neck firmly.

"Want me to stop?" he asked huskily, pulling back from her neck and brushing his nose against hers.

"…no." she admitted as he reached up and began to carefully undo the top button on her shirt, his only concession to the idea of slowing down.

"Good…" he said with a lecherous grin as the top button came undone and he moved on to the second, nipping at her lips as he growled with amorous intent.

And then there was a knocking at the front door.

Tyn snapped his head around to glare at the door angrily, the rumbling in his chest shifting tone from one of desire to one of rage and murderous intent. Once again, Tyn was giving in to his more savage and animalistic instincts, and the bestial side of him didn't appreciate someone interfering with his attempt to mate.

Whoever was on the other side of that door was toying with death and they didn't even know it.

"Ignore them…" Tia breathed, nipping at his earlobe affectionately and holding him tightly as he tried to pull away. "Stay with me, and maybe they'll go away."

He looked back at her, the expression on his face suggesting that he wasn't convinced their unwelcome visitor would just up and leave, but he didn't dare argue as she kissed his lips again. His growl shifted tones once more, back down to a more lustful sound as he began to work on her second button again.

*KNOCKKNOCK*

Tia snaked an arm around his neck and ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his head for a moment before grabbing hold tightly to keep him from killing whoever was at the door.

"Ignore them." she reminded him, biting at his lower lip.

Tyn ceased his attempts to pull away and returned to working on unbuttoning her shirt, becoming frustrated with the uncooperative third button as he prepared to just rip the entire thing off and discard it over his shoulder.

*KNOCKKNOCK*

"Come on, we know you guys are in there!" called a voice. It was the man from across the hall, Emi's father.

"Is something wrong? Are you two okay?" called a woman's voice, Emi's mother.

"Damn it…" hissed Tia under her breath as Tyn looked back towards the door, growling. They hadn't left after all, and were now asking if everything was okay…failure to answer now could result in them panicking and calling the police to come check on the two arrancar and given the circumstances, that would be a tremendously _bad_ idea.

Damned nosey humans!

"Calm down…" she soothed as the tone of Tyn's growl became something deeper and more threatening, trying to calm him down as she straightened up her shirt. "We'll see what they want and send them on their way. Five minutes."

_At least they helped us slow down some_… thought Tia ruefully as she made her way back to the door and opened it.

"Oh, there you are, Tia! We thought something might be wrong when you didn't answer!" said Miyo, Emi's mother, as she closed her cellphone and put it back in her pocket, suggesting that she had indeed been prepared to call the police.

"We were…_busy_." said Halibel, noticing the duo seemed too tipsy to take the hint.

"What do you want?" growled Tyn curtly, and Tia moved over slightly to stand between him and the two humans.

"We just wanted to see if you two wanted to come over and toast the new year with us." said Norio. "We couldn't make it out to a party tonight since someone had to watch the kids, but we thought you might be willing to come over and have a drink with us.

"It's a quarter till three in the morning…" Tia said. "It's a little late to be toasting the new year, isn't it?"

"Not interested." Tyn said roughly, reaching over to shut the door in their faces as Tia seized his wrist and squeezed tightly, a silent warning to stop being overly rude.

"Well, we don't know many people in the building beside you two and we thought if we waited for you to get home, you might join us for a few minutes…" said Miyo.

"Alright…" Tia sighed as she rubbed her face, a combination of guilt and pity tugging at her non-existent heartstrings. "One drink, and then we need to come back home and go to bed. We'll be over in just a minute."

She gently closed the door on them and turned to try and negotiate with Tyn, only to have him press her back against the door as he savagely kissed at her lips again, reaching down and grabbing her left leg and pulling it up, hooking it around his waist.

"Tyn…no." she finally managed to protest after a couple of seconds, gently pushing him off. "Not yet; we'll go over, have one drink, wish them a happy new year, and then come home. Fifteen minutes at the most, okay?"

"If you say so…" Tyn sighed, stepping back and adjusting his clothes as she did the same, redoing the buttons on her shirt.

He reluctantly followed her across the hall to the other couple's apartment where two wine glasses full of champagne were waiting for them and while Tyn looked quite sullen throughout the entire affair, Tia had managed to force a smile and play nicely with their well-intentioned but clueless neighbors.

Fifteen minutes turned into an hour and one hour turned into two, making it nearly five in the morning before the two Espada finally managed to excuse themselves from their drunken, clingy neighbors. Tia shut the apartment door behind them and locked it, sighing as she turned around and leaned back against the door in relief that the nightmarish socializing was done.

But whatever had come over the two of them earlier was gone now and she and Tyn could only look at each other awkwardly, their cheeks flushing over what had _almost_ happened.

"It's late…" he said finally, breaking eye contact with her. "I think maybe we should call it a night."

"You're right." Tia agreed with a slow nod. "We can talk in the morning."

"Yeah… Good night, Tia."

"Good night, Tyn."

* * *

"But you two worked it out, right?"

"Not exactly…" said Halibel, noting the disappointment on Neliel's face as they made their way through the lobby of the apartment complex. "Morning came, but we never talked about it. We just kind of…let it be."

"You can't do that!" exclaimed Nel. "You two _have_ to talk about this! You can't just let it end there!"

"It didn't end, not exactly…" said Tia as the elevator doors opened. "We've just slowed down. Way, way down."

"Well, that's something, I guess… Taking it slow isn't a bad idea, but it seems like you two have been taking it slow for years! I mean, you spent a lot of time together in Los Noches-"

"We did not!" said Tia defiantly. "We _talked_ because we had things in common, nothing more!"

"Yeah, but you talked a _lot_." pointed out Nel with a grin as the elevator arrived at the tenth floor and opened the doors to let them out.

"Not as much as you make it out to be…" said an exasperated Tia, leading Neliel towards the apartment where their plan was to order a pizza and watch a movie until it was time for the ex-Espada to return to the Soul Society.

"Miss Halle Belle!" cried Emi as she came flying out of her apartment, hugging the blond around the waist tightly.

"Hello, Emi…" said Tia, forcing a smile to mask her irritation at having Emi butcher her name yet again as she patted the child on the head. "How are you today?"

"I'm doing great 'cause my mommy said you're going to baby-sit me this weekend!"

"She said _what_ now?" asked Tia, her green eyes going wide as she took a step backwards.

"I said you _might_…" corrected Miyo, coming out of her apartment a few steps behind her daughter. "Norio and I have to go out of town Saturday for a business trip. We'll be back sometime Sunday evening, and we agreed to ask you and Tyn if you'd watch the kids for us."

Tia looked down at the six year old hugging her leg tightly and grinning up at her.

"I don't know…" she said slowly, trying to find a polite way to refuse. "Tyn and I don't really know anything about kids."

"Oh, come on, Tia!" interjected Neliel, "How can you say no to this little cutie? I'd _love_ to try babysitting; I could use the practice."

"What? Nel, are you-" asked Tia, suddenly forgetting all about the child attached to her leg for a moment as she looked over at her friend.

"Not yet." said Nel sheepishly, "But someday, after the wedding…"

"Are you sure you two can? I mean, he's a…and you're…you know…"

"Why wouldn't it work?" asked Neliel, blinking in confusion. "Anyway, taking care of kids can't be _that_ hard; I mean, Captain Zaraki is raising Yachiru all by himself."

"The crazy guy from Squad 11 that Aizen warned us about? Oh yes, he sounds like a positively _ideal_ role model for an impressionable young child." said Halibel sarcastically.

"Please, Miss Halle Belle?" asked Emi, pouting.

"You and Feathers could use the practice, too, Tia…" Neliel added. "You never know."

"Please?" begged Emi, looking up at the blond hopefully with her large, brown eyes.

"Fine…" said Tia, caving to the pressure. "We can manage one night, I guess."

"Great!" said Miyo with a smile. "You don't know how much this means to us! I'll make sure and leave you a list of things to help you out with the kids and Emi will be on her best behavior, won't you, sweetie?"

Tia barely heard the girl's enthusiastic acknowledgement or Nel's cheerful words of encouragement as she tried to think of how the hell she was going to break this news to Tyn without him freaking out.

* * *

While the day had been relatively peaceful at Burger World aside from yet another round of the never-ending Grimmjow versus Kurosaki feud, Tyn was more than glad to be off the clock and home. He marveled at how things had changed as he slid his key into the doorknob and heard the distinctive 'click' of the lock unlatching itself; ten months ago he had dreaded coming home to Tia, and now he looked forward to it.

It didn't matter that things had slowed to a crawl since New Years or that they weren't sleeping together; he was content to simply be able to spend time with her and know that no stinking _human_ was ever going to steal her away again.

"Welcome home." Tia greeted from her seat on the couch as he opened the door, and he favored her with a smile.

"Hi, Feathers!" called Neliel from the kitchen, a slice of pizza in her hand.

"I thought you'd be back in the Seireitei by now…" said Tyn, noting that Neliel was in a gigai this time as opposed to New Year's.

"I've got another hour." she shrugged, taking a bite of her pizza. "Want a slice? We saved you some."

The raptor grunted out a brief "thanks" as he snatched up a meat-laden slice and hungrily began to scarf it down as if he hadn't eaten all day.

"So, how was work?" Tia asked as Tyn grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator to wash down his pizza. "Grimmjow do anything stupid again?"

"Seven foot snow penis." said Tyn in-between bites.

"What the hell?" asked Tia, looking disgusted. "You know what? Forget it; I don't even want to know."

"I think I just lost my appetite…" said Nel slowly, putting her half-eaten slice back in the box.

"So how was _your_ day?" asked Tyn with a bemused smile as he finished off his first slice and reached for another.

"About that…" Tia began slowly. "I just found out that we're going to have kids."

"We're _what?_" exclaimed Tyn, nearly choking on his last bite of pizza. "But I never… I mean, _we_ didn't… How can…oh, God…"

"Congratulations, Feathers!" Neliel cheered happily, "You're going to be a daddy!"

"I…but we…oh, no." he stammered, turning sickly pale and wobbling on unsteady legs as a worried-looking Tia stood up from the couch.

"Tyn, are you okay?" she asked cautiously, making her way over to him.

*THUD!*


	31. Babysitting Sucks

**Babysitting Sucks**

Nightmares were supposed to be bad dreams that disappeared upon waking, a simple inconvenience that wasn't supposed to follow a person into the real world. Nightmares were supposed to be restricted to the night, hence the reason for calling them 'nightmares' in the first place; they had no business existing in the light of the morning sun!

And yet, there they were…

Tyn's eye twitched involuntarily as he glanced from couch where Emi sat holding her precious cat while watching cartoons over to the far corner of the living room where the crib for her baby brother had been set up.

Maybe this wasn't a nightmare after all.

Maybe this was Hell.

He could still vividly remember Tia's not-so-subtle way of breaking the news to him that she had agreed to baby-sit the two brats, how she'd made it sound like she was pregnant…he had only the vaguest memories of falling back and his head slamming against the floor, but he could clearly recall the sound of Neliel's giggling as he came back to consciousness.

The sound of Emi laughing at her cartoon began overlapping with the memory of Neliel's giggle, and the twitch intensified. At least the baby was still asleep for now, but how long would _that_ last?

How the hell had Tia been talked into this nonsense? Why the hell did he have to be a part of it? What did either of them know about children, much less _human_ children? Where was the justice in having this responsibility thrust upon him when he didn't want it?

"We can manage one night…" Tia whispered quietly as she came up beside him. "Two kids, one night…how hard can it be?"

"I vote we ship them off to Orihime's right now and let _her_ deal with them." Tyn said bitterly. "Or Kurosaki's place; his crazy old man has experience raising kids, right? He can do this."

"But we're the ones who agreed-"

"No, _we_ didn't…"

"Like _you've_ never made a bad decision before." snapped Halibel defensively. "Emi's not that much trouble and the baby's sleeping, so there's nothing to worry about. Just calm down, and it'll be over before you know it."

Tyn gave a noncommittal grunt as Emi's cartoon ended and the girl released her cat, turning around on the couch to peer over the back and look at Tyn and Tia standing by the bar in the kitchen. The girl gave a silly grin and while Tia managed to force one of her fake smiles out for the child's benefit, the _quinto_ was only able to give a very thin and decidedly unfriendly grin.

Not that Emi seemed to notice his misery as she grinned broader.

"I'm glad mommy and daddy let me stay with you, Miss Tia…" she was saying. "And you, Mister Tyn! You're both really nice and you live right across the hall so I didn't have to go far at all!"

"We're happy to have you staying with us…" Tia lied smoothly, "aren't we, Tyn?"

"Oh yes, absolutely thrilled." said the raptor dryly.

"When is lunch?" Emi asked. "My tummy is growling."

"So is mine, actually…" muttered Tyn.

"Well, what would you like?" Tia asked the girl sweetly as she elbowed her roommate sharply for staring at the cat a little too long.

"Happy Meal!" squealed the girl excitedly, forcing Tyn to cover his ears as the high-pitched noise assaulted him.

"Well…your parents did leave us some money in case you needed anything; I guess a 'Happy Meal' counts. Grab your coat, and we'll run out and grab one."

"What about me?" asked Tyn as his own stomach growled.

"Leave the cat alone, and we'll bring you back something." Tia said coolly. "And try not to scare the baby while we're gone."

Tyn scowled as a coat-clad Emi came bouncing back to Tia and wrapped her tiny fingers around the blond woman's hand, babbling about how much she liked Happy Meals and WacDonald's and how Burger World food was gross…

That, at least, brought an almost-evil smile to Tyn's face.

He watched Tia and Emi leave before going over to the couch and sighed as he collapsed back into it. Babysitting sucked, but at least Emi was gone for a little while now and the baby was still sound-

"WAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Shoot me."

* * *

All parents, including the ones who had never wanted to _be_ parents or who were only filling the role out of necessity, knew that eventually their child would leave the nest. They would grow up fast, find a mate, and leave the nest. Television did it's part to instill parents with an irrational fear that their children were growing up and away even faster than originally anticipated, and even Coyote Starrk was not immune to such paranoia.

Oh, on the surface it seemed innocent enough; a boy from Lilynette's class had called and asked if she wanted to "hang out" for the day, perhaps visit the arcade. Starrk had been in the kitchen as his younger half talked on the living room phone, and while he'd only been able to hear her half of the conversation, it was easy enough to piece together.

Starrk had made sure to grill her with a dozen different questions about the boy: where he was from, who his parents were, what they did, how well did she know him…

The answers had been satisfactory enough, and so Starrk had forced a smile and conceded she could go out on the provision she be back by seven o'clock. He waved goodbye as she grabbed her coat and left the apartment door…and as soon as the door was shut he was busy putting his shoes on and grabbing his coat.

He'd seen enough television to know what two kids were capable of when left to their own devices, and while conventional logic said they were both a little too young to getting intimate, paranoia trumped logic any day.

The _primera_ followed them from a distance, his coat bundled around his body tightly and a scarf covering his face in case they should turn around.

Starrk grumbled to himself as he navigated the snow-laden and pedestrian-heavy sidewalks, thinking about how much easier this would be to deal with if it happened twenty years down the road or so; twenty years would be _plenty_ of time to prepare for her to go out on her first date, but not a measly _one_ year.

Lilynette had sworn that it wasn't a date, that it was just two friends getting together, but Starrk refused to allow himself to buy into it; television had taught him better.

He didn't know if humans and arrancars could crossbreed or not, and he damn sure wasn't ready to find out; the idea of Lilynette having children made him feel ridiculously old, and that was a sensation he didn't like. Sure, he couldn't recall _when_ he'd died or how old he might really be and the only thing he had to go on were scattered sensations that came to him in dreams, but he was sure that he couldn't be old enough to have grandchildren just yet.

Nieces and nephews were technically the correct terms given their cover story as an elder brother taking care of his baby sister in the wake of their parent's death, but on some days Lilynette felt more like a daughter than a sister.

Today was one of those days.

Today he was a father trying to protect his only child. Today he was-

"-the fuck are you doing stalking kids?" asked an all too-familiar and all too-annoying voice from behind loudly, and Starrk cursed as the kids began to turn around. The _primera_ whirled around and grabbed his unwelcome 'friend' and dragged him into an alley quickly, cupping a hand over his mouth to keep the other man quiet.

"Grimmjow, _shut up_." he hissed into the _sexta's_ ear. "This doesn't concern you, so just shut up and go away."

Starrk maintained a tight grip on the struggling Grimmjow as he cautiously peeked back around the corner, only breathing a sigh of relief and releasing the other Espada once the children had started walking again.

"Get off of me, asshole!" bellowed Grimmjow as Starrk released him finally, shoving the _primera_ against the brick roughly. "The hell's your problem, anyway? You're the one creeping around and stalking kids like some kind of pervert!"

"I think Lilynette is on a date." he said growled bitterly, not happy to have Grimmjow involved in any way. "I'm following them to make sure nothing happens."

"You're an idiot, you know that? Why don't you just _tell_ the stupid brat she's with that if he touches her, you'll tear his liver out and beat him to death with it?" asked Grimmjow as he simply invited himself to follow the kids alongside Starrk.

"I'd say it's a good thing these gigai hide our spiritual pressure, but Lilynette's never been too good at detecting me, anyway; we're too much alike, and most of the time she can't tell her reiatsu from mine." said Starrk, opting not to even think about Grimmjow's insane recommendations.

"If you're too chicken shit to tell the kid, I'll do it." offered Grimmjow. "Hell, I'll be happy to break his little legs."

"Go bother Ulquiorra." spat Starrk, quickening his pace as Lilynette disappeared around a corner up ahead…and Grimmjow stayed right with him, grinning madly at Starrk's irritation.

"Ulquiorra's too boring, but this…_this_ might be fun."

* * *

Halibel could hear the baby crying the moment she and Emi stepped out of the elevator, thanks to her sensitive hearing. The human child was oblivious to the noise at first, but by the time they'd reached the apartment door, even Emi could hear the infant's wailing. Tia offered the girl a reassuring smile as she unlocked the door, silently praying they wouldn't find Tyn shaking the baby and yelling at it to shut up.

Tia opened the door and stepped inside, glancing around the apartment and spying Tyn and the infant in the kitchen, with the baby in it's high-chair and Tyn trying to feed it.

"Eat, brat!" growled Tyn, offering the baby a fork with a piece of chicken on it. "Come on, I know you're hungry."

"He can't eat that, moron…" Tia sighed, setting the food she'd brought back for her roommate down on the bar, "He doesn't have any teeth yet."

"I noticed, but we don't have a blender, so…"

"Frapped fried chicken is _not_ baby-food!" said Halibel, going over and digging through the bags of baby-care items left by Emi's parents and digging out a few small jars. "You feed him these things!"

Tyn took only a cursory glance at the jars before wrinkling his nose up in disgust and turning back to the baby.

"It's all vegetables and fruit; kid needs meat if he's ever going to grow up and be strong." he said, trying to offer the infant more chicken. "Red meat would be better, but I'm not sharing my steaks with a screaming little poop machine."

"Get out of the way and _I'll_ take care of him." said Tia finally, yanking Tyn away from the still-screaming baby and dumping the plate of fried chicken into the trash before opening up a jar of fruity baby-food. "Just…go eat the lunch we brought you, okay?"

"Hey, I can do this just fine, thank you very much! Kid's better off with me, anyway!" Tyn declared defensively.

"You don't know the first thing about kids!" Tia scoffed.

"I know enough to know that sharks have a tendency to eat their young!"

"No more Discovery Channel for you, _ever_." said Tia, narrowing her eyes and gripping the spoon full of baby-mush like a weapon. "Now go eat your lunch and let me take care of the baby before you scar it for life."

Mentally cursing the entire situation the entire time, Tyn grabbed his lunch and made his way to the couch, leaving Tia to try and feed the baby…with Emi's assistance, of course.

"Open up!" prompted Emi. "Come on, it's good for you!"

Curiosity got the better of him, and Tyn turned around just in time to see Halibel successfully dump a spoon of applesauce into the baby's waiting mouth. She smiled triumphantly and Tyn _knew_ she was just about to gloat…and then the baby promptly spewed the soggy food out, covering Tia's face with mushy apple goop.

"Not one word…" she growled at Tyn as applesauce slowly dripped down her nose and onto her shirt. Tyn bit his lower lip and turned back around to face the television lest his self-control finally shatter and incur his roommates wrath. The baby, meanwhile, was shamelessly laughing and clapping it's tiny hands together. Emi just giggled at her little brother and grabbed a paper towel for Tia.

"He does that to mommy sometimes, too." she said. "Mommy says I did it when I was little, but I can't remember."

"That would have been nice to know _beforehand_, dear." said Halibel with a forced grin as she toweled her face off. "Let's try this again with less spitting."

It took another fifteen minutes to get the infant to eat his applesauce, but much to Tia's happiness (and Tyn's chagrin), there was not another spitting incident. Halibel smiled as she wiped the baby's mouth off and picked him up, rocking him back and forth in her arms until he drifted off. She favored the _quinto_ with a smirk as she carefully made her way over to the crib and gently sat the sleeping child back down inside.

"You'd still be struggling to get him to eat." she said smugly as she made her way over to the couch and sat down.

"Oh, shut up." said Tyn sourly, crossing his arms.

"Admit it; I'm better."

"I think you're a better mommy than Mister Tyn is!" chirped Emi, plopping down on the cushion between the two arrancar.

"I would hope so, kid…" Tyn growled. "She _is_ the one with the boobs, after all."

"Watch your mouth!" snapped Tia. "You can't talk like that in front of kids!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Tyn!"

"What?" he bellowed.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"You woke the baby, moron!" said Halibel angrily, rising from the couch.

"I did not! _You_ did!" he snapped back before pausing a second and sniffing the air. "Do you smell…ah, _crap_."

The duo made their way over to the crib and the squalling infant, each wrinkling their nose at the unmistakable smell of feces.

"I…I don't know what to do." said Tia slowly.

"Then why the hell did you agree to this shit?" demanded Tyn bitterly, earning him a solid, painful punch to the shoulder.

"Watch your mouth in front of the kids, idiot!" she hissed again before finally retrieving the small child, handling it cautiously. "Go grab a fresh diaper and the notes Miyo left for us; we can figure this out."

Tyn grumbled as he went and grabbed the notes off the coffee table before scouring through the bags of baby crap they had been left, and he bit his tongue to keep from cursing as he found the diapers at the very bottom of the last sack. He grabbed a fresh one and turned back around, just in time to see Tia laying the child on the bar where they ate.

"No! Not there!" he cried in horror.

"Relax; I've got his blanket and a newspaper under him, and I'll wash the counter down when we're done… Where's the baby powder and wet-wipes?'

"You didn't say anything about baby powder or wet-wipes!"

"What, did you expect me to just change the diaper without cleaning him? I've seen enough TV to know _that_ much, at least!"

Tyn grumbled as he handed her the diaper and baby-powder before trudging back over to search through the bags again, finding himself wishing he was working the weekend shift at Burger World for once rather than being home. It didn't take quite as long to find the wet-wipes or baby powder as it had the diapers and when he returned to Tia to hand her the goods, she in turn handed him the diaper.

The _used_ diaper.

"I don't want this!" he cried, holding it out at arm's length and fanning the smell away from his face with his other hand. "What the hell, Tia?"

"Dispose of it!" she ordered as she took a wet-wipe and began to clean the infant's bottom. "I'm busy over here."

Tyn looked at the loaded diaper long and hard, realizing it was too big to flush and far too smelly to simply throw in the trash can…how the hell was he supposed to get rid of this? He glanced over towards the sliding glass door and the balcony beyond it before looking back at Halibel for a second; she was too busy cleaning the baby to notice him opening the door, and she hadn't exactly specified _how_ to get rid of the diaper…

* * *

It wasn't easy being the unsung hero of the war.

Everyone always talked about the contribution of that silly, orange-haired _substitute_, but never him. They talked about Renji, but not him. They talked about Zaraki, both Kuchikis, Yamamoto, Soifon, Ushii, Kyōraku, Hitsugaya, Komamura, and that damned ex-Espada, but never him.

Hell, even those two _nobodies_ from Squad Five got more recognition than the great Zennosuke Kurumadani!

It was a slap in the face, an insult to his greatness!

It was _he_ who was in charge of protecting Karakura Town after Rukia was 'relieved' of her duty, and it was he who first dared to stand against Aizen when he came to destroy the city! Sure, he may have lost that battle, but in his heart of hearts he _knew_ that he was the reason Aizen had been defeated. He had weakened the traitorous ex-shinigami, had rendered him mostly harmless so that upstart substitute Kurosaki could finish the job…

…and not a single one of them ever thanked him.

It hurt to not be acknowledged alongside his peers, but he swallowed his pride and dealt with it; sooner or later, all would see just how great and powerful the mighty Zennosuke Kurumadani was!

The Soul Reaper sat perched on top of a light pole, watching the human traffic go by as he idly ran a hand over his afro and sighed. It was all thanks to his diligence in Karakura that no powerful hollows dared sneak into Karakura, and his diligence alone; for all his supposed power, the substitute-shinigami was still _just_ a substitute and Zennosuke…

…well, he couldn't quite understand _why_ he had yet to be offered a Captain's position.

He supposed that, in time, the truth about the war would come out and Yamamoto would hear of his heroic exploits and reward him accordingly. Until then, all he could do was wait and protect the town. Someday, everyone would know his name. Someday, he would get everything he deserved and more…

Wait, what was that? Was that a bird falling out of the sky? He raised a hand to shield his eyes against the glare of the sun, straining for a better look at the flying object.

*SPLAT!*

* * *

"Starrk, I think this is pointless."

"Then _leave_." hissed the _primera_ as he peered out from around an arcade machine, watching Lilynette and her 'male-friend-from-school-who-had-damn-well-better-not-be-a-boyfriend' play a fighting game against one another.

Starrk had been darting from arcade machine to arcade machine over the past couple of hours, being careful to stay out of sight as he followed the two kids around the building. Every now and then he'd pretend to play a game just to keep from being asked to leave by the manager, but most of the time he forced Grimmjow to play the game while Starrk kept an eye on his younger 'sibling.'

"They're just two kids playing nerdy games, dumbass." said Grimmjow, rolling his eyes as Starrk dropped two more tokens into the machine and directed Grimmjow to play it. "They're not on a date, and I don't think she really gives a shit about him."

"Maybe you're right, but…" Starrk began, but trailed off as the boy hesitantly put an arm around Lilynette's waist. "That's it; I'm killing him."

Grimmjow released the joystick abruptly and turned to watch, grinning madly at the anticipation of blood and carnage…but Starrk stopped after only a couple of steps as they watched Lilynette bat the boy's hand away and inform him that she wasn't comfortable with being touched.

"Smart girl…" Starrk muttered with a proud smile as he backed away quietly and hid once again.

"Still, you should go break his arm…" Grimmjow prompted. "You _know_ you want to."

"Shut up, Satan."

"And what are you going to do if he tries to force the issue, huh? Nothing? Come on, Starrk, even _you_ can't be that pathetic!"

"I'll do whatever needs to be- _crap!_ They're coming this way! Move, move!" hissed Starrk as he roughly grabbed Grimmjow and dragged him away from the arcade machine, moving deeper into the darkened game room and seeking refuge at another machine standing against a column in the room, facing away from the two kids.

"You won't do a goddamned thing, Starrk; you've gone soft! Not that you were ever that strong to begin with, but you're absolutely pitiful now!" Grimmjow cackled cruelly, eyeing a pair of older teens making their way towards Lilynette and her friend.

"See those two? They've been bullying other kids and taking their stupid tokens ever since we've been here, and now they're going for the brat; what are you going to do about it?"

"This is different…" Starrk said, watching the teens closely. "Lilynette can take care of herself if she needs to. I'm just worried about her making a stupid mistake."

"And what if she decides to tear their heads off and roll them down the street?"

"She's not _you_." countered Starrk coldly. "She'll control herself…just watch."

To his credit, Lilynette's boy-who-was-a-friend-but-had-damn-well-better-not-be-a-boyfriend made sure to step in-between the young arrancar and the two bullies, puffing his chest out and refusing to give them anything. It was brave, considering the teens were considerably larger and a few years older…brave, and ultimately foolish; the duo shoved him back against a wall and drew their fists back, threatening violence if he didn't cooperate.

That was as far as they got before Lilynette intervened, abruptly kicking one of the bullies in the chest with enough force to knock him off his feet and send him flying back some five feet where he landed on top of an air hockey table.

The second bully threw a punch, but he was woefully outmatched by the smaller girl as she ducked underneath it and shot a hand up to seize his wrist. Lilynette tightened her other hand into a fist and plowed it into his gut, driving the air from his body. Then, with only the faintest grunt, she picked up the larger, heavier teen and _tossed_ him over on top of his buddy, and the impact broke the air hockey table in half. Both bullies hit the floor with a loud 'thud' as the other patrons of the game room erupted into cheers for Lilynette.

"You guys aren't done already, are ya?" she asked with frightening smirk that made her look a little _too_ much like 'uncle' Grimmjow for a split second, and the beaten bullies quickly scrambled to their feet and made a hasty retreat.

The _primera_ and the _sexta_ both ducked back around the column out of sight, and Grimmjow gave Starrk a broad grin.

"So what was that bullshit you were saying earlier?" he asked smugly.

"Okay, maybe her control needs a _little_ more work…"

* * *

Halibel fidgeted in her seat uncomfortably, glancing down at the little girl that was currently leaning against her as they watched television. This wasn't right, it wasn't natural, and it upset the very delicate balance that made her humble apartment into a home. She glanced over at Tyn on the other side of Emi, his irritation evident by the way he sat slumped against the arm of the couch.

Emi, for her part, didn't notice anything as she snuggled closer to 'Miss Halle Bell.'

For most of their time living together, the middle cushion where Emi sat had been designated as No Man's Land, a place where only throw pillows would be piled on top of one another in a makeshift wall as the two roommates would sit as far away from each other as possible. Even when the hostility between the two had finally faded away and the pillows were no longer piled up into a wall, No Man's Land had remained as in invisible, impassable barrier.

It was only in the past couple of weeks that the wall had come down as she and Tyn had begun using the middle cushion to sit nearer to the other. That had been a welcome change, something that made them both feel more at ease…and now there was a human child sitting in between them.

The mind-numbingly family-friendly crap on the television screen didn't help things, either; Tia understood her roommate well enough to know that his stomach was most likely churning from the sickening-sweetness of it all and she was having a hard time finding fault with such a point of view. Still, they couldn't watch anything more entertaining because of the child that was wedged in-between them.

Halibel suppressed a bored sigh as they watched an elderly man on his deathbed telling his young grandson to remain strong and never lose faith in himself, that he knew the boy would make him proud… It was meant to be a sad, emotional scene, she knew that, but Tia thought back to her own mortal death and couldn't make herself feel anything other than a small pang of jealousy; really, the old man should feel _privileged _to die so peacefully.

On the screen, the young boy began crying as the life faded from his grandfather and Halibel looked down at Emi as she felt warm, wet droplets impact against her bare arm.

"It's not fair…" Emi was saying. "Why did he have to die? It's so sad!"

_That's not fair?_ Halibel thought bitterly, _What about dying young? What about drowning in terror?_

She bit her tongue to keep from actually saying anything as she instead tried to think of something more human and reassuring to tell Emi, something that would stop her tears.

"Oh, give me a break!" snarled Tyn in disgust. "He was _lucky_! Plenty of people die much younger and much more violently than that! Christ, I wish I had went that peacefully but no,_ I_ had to go tumbling down a rocky cliff and break every bone in my body!"

"What are you talking about?" asked Emi, rubbing her teary eyes as she looked up at Tyn.

"Just ignore Tyn; he had a nasty nightmare about dying once, that's all." said Tia hurriedly, glancing at the raptor for a brief second before addressing Emi again. "It's fine, sweetie; why don't you go in the bathroom and wash your face off, okay?"

Sniffling, the little girl pried herself from Halibel's side and made her way to the bathroom, and as soon as Emi was out of sight, Tia turned to face Tyn.

"You remember?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah…" he admitted gruffly. "What of it?"

"I remember, too…" she said, looking away. "The ocean is so beautiful and blue from above, but when you're down below looking up, it's black and terrifying…"

"I'm sorry…" he muttered, reaching across and gripping her hand, squeezing gently.

"I thought only I remembered anything… Szayel did a 'survey' some time after you left, and his report found that I was the only one to remember my death or anything about my life at all…Starrk has fragmented dreams, but he doesn't know if they're pieces of a memory or just dreams." said Tia, squeezing his hand in return.

"I thought the same…" Tyn said. "No one else I've ever spoken to remembered their deaths. I thought I was the only one."

"We can talk about it later, maybe; for now, let's just not have any more outbursts like that in front of Emi." suggested Tia. Tyn nodded silently, withdrawing his hand just as the girl finally returned, plopping down on the couch in-between the two Espada once more.

"Miss Halle Belle, do you have any ice cream here?" asked Emi. "Or popcorn? Movies need snacks!"

"I think we have some ice cream…let's go see." she said with another forced smile, leading Emi to the kitchen. "I think we might even have some chocolate syrup if you like."

"What about me?" asked Tyn, right as the baby woke up and began crying.

"_You_ can change the diaper; it's your turn, after all." said Tia sweetly, her forced smile becoming very real and very smug as she looked over at Tyn.

Her keen ears could hear him swearing under his breath as he made his way from the couch to the crib, but at least he kept his voice too low for Emi to hear him. Halibel prepared two bowls of ice cream, one for herself and one with a generous helping of chocolate syrup for Emi as they watched Tyn try and figure out how to change the diaper on his own.

"You and Mister Tyn really don't know much about kids, do you?" asked Emi as Tyn used too much baby-powder and began coughing and gagging inside the suffocating white cloud. "Is that why you two don't have any kids of your own?"

Tia looked at the girl and hesitated, unsure of how to answer the question.

"Oh God, Tia, it _peed_ on me!" yelled Tyn in disgust, holding the baby out at arm's length as Halibel just sighed.

"It's one of many reasons."

* * *

It was a race against time and second place just wasn't going to cut it.

The _primera_ barreled down the sidewalks at breakneck speed, running as fast as his legs could carry him short of popping his soul candy and using his _sonido_. He sprinted across the street and cleared a pile of snow in perfect form, never breaking stride as he came back down and felt his feet touch the ground. Other pedestrians looked at him as if he were crazy and while most had the good sense to get out of his way, a few hesitated and found themselves getting bowled over and plowed into snow drifts.

He'd lingered too long in watching Lilynette and now it was a quarter till seven, and now he had to beat her home or else she would know that he'd been trailing her.

Starrk thought about stopping to grab some food as an alibi in case Lilynette did manage to beat him home, giving him the excuse of having only been gone fifteen minutes to pick up dinner. Lilynette was young and a bit naïve, but he wasn't convinced she would be _that_ naïve; no, his only option was to beat her back to the apartment and act casual.

Ignoring even the pretense of being cautious, he darted across the busy street in front of the apartment and forced three cars to come to a screeching halt to keep from running him over. He swung open the doors to the lobby and made for the stairwell, not trusting the elevator to be speedy enough. Starrk was sure that he'd beat Lilynette home, but by how much was up for debate: two minutes, five minutes, seven, or ten?

As long as she remained clueless about him shadowing her all evening, it didn't matter if the difference was five measly seconds.

Starrk burst out of the stairwell onto the fourth floor of the complex and hastily made for the apartment door, unlocking it and quickly ducking inside in the blink of an eye. He gave a short laugh as he collapsed back against the door, panting heavily. He'd done it! He'd beat her! Lilynette would never know-

"Busted!"

* * *

Seven-twenty was way too early for any reasonable person to be getting ready for bed, but young children apparently didn't count as reasonable people; the note from Emi's mother had mentioned the girl's bedtime as being eight o'clock and so Tia found herself standing in the bathroom making sure Emi brushed her teeth thoroughly. She glanced out in the living room at Tyn, who stood over the baby's crib watching the tiny human sleep.

"I can't believe that we were probably that small and helpless once, too…" he muttered.

"A lifetime ago…and I find it very easy to believe when I think back to how helpless _you_ were when you got sick." Tia said with a smirk as she walked over to stand beside him. "That was just like taking care of a big baby."

"All finished!" announced Emi cheerfully before Tyn could retort, beaming her tiny smile for both adults to see.

Halibel complimented the girl on doing a good job and took her to the bedroom, tucking the girl in. With only two bedrooms in the apartment, it had made sense to let Emi borrow her own bed for the night while she slept on the couch, and the little girl quickly worked her way over to the center of the large bed and made herself comfortable, giggling.

"Are you going to tell me a story, Miss Tia?" she asked, and the _tercera_ faltered.

"I…don't really know any good stories." she said slowly.

"But mommy always tells me a story before bed!" whined Emi, pouting. "Does Mister Tyn know any good stories?"

"Let's not find out…" said Tia with a forced smile as the raptor in question appeared in the doorway, leaning against the frame heavily. Any stories Tyn might know would almost certainly be unfit for young children and would probably give the poor child nightmares for the rest of her natural life.

"You don't know any good stories about princesses and castles and stuff?" asked Emi almost pleadingly.

"I might know one…" Tia said hesitantly. "Have you ever heard the one about the Shark Queen and the Raptor Prince?"

She ignored the questioning look Tyn was casting her way as Emi shook her head enthusiastically, begging to know more.

"It might be too long to tell it all tonight, so let's start with the beginning of how they met and the day they were forced to say goodbye…" Halibel began. "The Shark Queen was powerful, intelligent, beautiful-"

"-and vain and moody." added Tyn with a mean-spirited grin. "The Prince, meanwhile, was handsome, clever, strong and fast-"

"-with the brains of a Fruit Loop." Tia fired back as Emi giggled, completely oblivious to the verbal jabs her two babysitters were throwing at each other. Tyn simply snorted and disappeared back into the living room, and Tia's sensitive ears could hear the television being turned back on, the volume sitting at whisper-level so as to not wake the baby.

"Anyway…" she continued as she took a seat on the edge of the bed, "they lived in a far away land called Hueco Mundo where the night never ended, under the rule of an evil man called Aizen…"

* * *

"I can't _believe_ you followed me all day! Jesus, Starrk, what the hell is wrong with you? Don't you trust me at all? I'm not some little kid, you know!"

Starrk winced under the verbal onslaught of his younger half, not sure if he felt more foolish for having not trusted her or for allowing himself to be lectured by the loudmouthed Lilynette. She'd been ranting for almost ten minutes now and while at first he'd thought she'd run out of steam and quiet down, he was beginning to have his doubts now. He opened his mouth to try and get a word in for his defense, but the smaller arrancar quickly cut him off.

"And with Grimmjow! What, were you going to have him kill anyone who looked at me funny? Were you going to have him kill my friend? Maybe the bullies at the arcade? You don't treat me like this when I hang out with Karin and the others, so why the hell is this so different?"

Starrk looked away and scratched the back of his head, waiting for her to catch her breath and launch into another tirade before he realized that she was done for the moment and actually _wanted_ him to try and answer.

"Because I worry about you. Because you're family." he said finally. "I trust Karin and the other kids because I _know_ them…I don't know this boy, and the two of you went off alone, _without_ someone like Karin."

"Karin is my best friend, not a babysitter!" Lilynette snapped, clenching and unclenching her fists as if she wanted to bash Starrk's head in.

"I've seen enough television to know what kind of trouble two young teens can get into on their own and-"

"_I'm not a stupid little kid!_" roared Lilynette, giving in to her impulses finally and slamming a small fist down onto Starrk's skull. "I _know_ better!"

"Doesn't mean I'm not going to worry…" he said, rubbing his aching head. "You're the only family I have."

"The others-"

"_Blood_ family." Starrk clarified. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? Next time, I'll have more faith in you… It won't be easy, but I'll let you go on your own."

"I'd be less pissed if you'd actually just showed up to hang out with us…" she said finally. "We never do anything together, Starrk! You won't play soccer with me, you hate shopping, you won't go with me to the arcade… I feel more like a pet than your 'sister' anymore!"

Ouch; that comment may have hurt more than the punch to the head. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to spend time with his younger half, but Lilynette was just so vastly different in the things she enjoyed and it was hard to find a middle ground.

"You're right…" he admitted guiltily. "I don't spend enough time with you, do I? Hell, I'll bet even Kurosaki spends more time with his sisters than I do with you, and he's trying to juggle being a student and a shinigami…"

"He does!" Lilynette agreed. "It's actually fun when he's around 'cause Karin beats him up sometimes!"

"We'll start 'hanging out' from now on, then." Starrk offered. "Maybe we can go do something tomorrow if you want."

"And no more stalking me like a creepy old man?" she asked.

"No more stalking you like a creepy old man." agreed Starrk.

"Deal!" grinned Lilynette.

"Just one more thing; how _did_ you know I was following you?"

"Grimmjow told me." shrugged Lilynette and Starrk gave a forced smile as he made a mental note to punch the troublesome _sexta_ in the face first thing Monday morning.

* * *

"…and that was the last time they saw each other for a long, long time." finished Halibel gently, brushing a stray strand of hair away from Emi's face. The girl was already fast asleep and had been for the past several minutes but Tia had become caught up in the story, reliving the memories in her head as she verbally told Emi a more toned-down version of what had happened.

To Emi, it was all just a fantastic fairy tale of magic lands and monsters but to those who had lived it, it was something else entirely.

She remembered the last time she'd seen Tyn in Hueco Mundo; Halibel could vividly recall how she had chased him from the palace alongside Starrk and Ulquiorra and how Tyn had plowed through a small army of _numeros_ to make his escape, leaving a trail of blood and destruction in his wake. Tia remembered how he had used the forbidden Gran Rey Cero to blow a hole in the outer-most wall of Los Noches and escape into the desert and the long chase she had given alongside two of her fellow Espada.

She remembered coming to a stop far out in the dune sea, realizing just how futile the chase was; Starrk, predictably had been the first to give up, followed shortly by Ulquiorra on the "logical" basis that they could never match the raptor's speed.

Halibel had been the last of the trio to give up, partially out of anger that Tyn had not heeded her earlier advice to stop questioning Lord Aizen and partially out of a wish to see him one last time.

While she had refused to openly admit it to anyone at the time, Tyn had made for good conversation and company; he'd been a good friend, a far closer friend than she'd ever cared to admit to anyone, including her own trusted fracción. If things hadn't changed, if he hadn't been exiled, maybe…

She pushed away the thought of what could have been and went back to recalling what had been, how Tyn had returned for a brief second, right before she departed to head back to the palace, making sure to keep a safe distance from her. She remembered the look of sorrow and hurt in his amber eyes, the look of someone who felt betrayed…and before she could say anything to try and explain herself or to plead with him to come back and beg for Aizen's forgiveness, he was gone again.

It had been a long, lonely trek back to the palace and the next few days had been spent agonizing over if she had made the right decision or not, if choosing to stay loyal to Aizen was worth the hefty sacrifice she'd made. Back then, she had eventually managed to convince herself that it was the right call, but here and now, with the benefit of hindsight…

Tia sighed and took one last look at the sleeping child as she pushed herself off the edge of the bed and turned to leave, only to find Tyn standing in the doorway again wearing the same sad expression from so long ago.

"I didn't mean to reopen old wounds…" Halibel offered guiltily.

"Don't worry about it." Tyn grunted in response as he turned and headed across the living room for his own bedroom. "What's done is done."

She sighed as he disappeared into his bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind him gently so as to not disturb the baby. Tia sat down on the couch and fluffed her pillow, glancing from the crib sitting in the corner to Tyn's closed door.

_Screw this._

She tucked her pillow under her arm and tiptoed her way over to Tyn's door, carefully pushing it open and stepping inside. The _quinto_ was already on his sleeping mat, facing towards the wall instead of having his back pressed against it, another sign that the feral paranoia he'd gained in his exile was finally beginning to leave.

"Thought you were sleeping on the couch tonight…" he said gruffly over his shoulder as she settled down in the floor beside him.

"Are you saying you don't want me here?"

"I didn't say that…I just thought you were sleeping on the couch since Emi's in your bed."

"If you're not kicking me out, then shut up." she mumbled, laying on her back and gazing up at the ceiling. After a long moment, Tyn finally rolled over to face her, propping himself up on one arm as he looked down at her.

"Look, if you're here because of some kind of misplaced guilt over what happened back then, forget about it. It doesn't matter anymore." he said.

"I'm here because I _want_ to be here, stupid." she said icily. "But I'll be happy to go back to the couch if I'm not welcome."

"Let's not be hasty…" Tyn said as he cautiously laid back down and draped an arm over her waist, keeping a watchful eye on the _tercera _in case she didn't appreciate his gesture.

"Smartest thing you've said all day…" she smirked. "Good night, Tyn."

"Yeah, yeah, good night…" he mumbled. "And for the record, I think I hate kids; I swear, babies are nothing but disgusting, screaming poop machines."

"For the record, I don't think I'm too fond of them, either." Tia agreed with a small chuckle. "I mean, Emi's okay, but babies-"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"-are demon-spawn." finished Tyn for her.

"It's my turn, isn't it?" sighed Tia, slowly getting to her feet and making her way to the living room.

She made her way over to the crib and grasped the railing, looking down at the crying infant inside for a moment before reaching inside to pick it up. Tyn stopped her and she looked up at him, about to question why he'd bothered to get up when he used his head to silently gesture towards Tia's bedroom door, where an exhausted-looked Emi stood rubbing her tired eyes.

"I'm not sleepy yet, Miss Tia…" the girl yawned. "I want to hear more of the story."

"Okay, sweetie…" said Halibel with another forced smile as she made her way over to the child and left Tyn to care for the baby.

"Did the Shark Queen and Raptor Prince ever see each other again?" asked Emi as Tia tried to usher her back to bed.

"Oh yes…they found each other again many years later when he came back to rescue her."

"And then they lived happily ever after, right?" asked Emi hopefully, and Tia glanced back at her roommate who was busy gagging and wrinkling his nose as he held the baby out at arm's length.

"How the hell can something so tiny shit so much?" Tia heard him grumbling under his breath, and she couldn't help but smile faintly as she turned back to the young girl.

"I don't know, Emi; their story isn't finished just yet…"


	32. Hearts for the Heartless

**Hearts for the Heartless**

The human desire to turn anything and everything into a holiday never ceased to both amaze and annoy Halibel; the dumpster out back was overflowing with unwanted flowers brought by lonely, would-be suitors, the trashcan behind the bar itself was filled with equally unwanted cards, and there was an unopened stack of small, heart-shaped candy boxes sitting on the countertop.

Kishi had opened one of the boxes earlier and she and Sachi were slowly whittling away at all the chocolate candies, but Halibel wanted no part of any of it.

Well, no part of it aside from the extraordinarily generous tips the patrons were giving her today.

Why humans felt they absolutely _needed_ a designated holiday to show affection towards the opposite sex baffled her, but Tia was more than happy to take all the money offered to her by pathetic, amorous men hoping to win her nonexistent heart.

Kishiko and Sachi had made out okay so far, each receiving larger-than-usual tips from men who didn't want to be alone…but they all knew that by far, the bulk of the attention today had been directed at Tia. Kishi didn't seem to mind; being set to marry her fiancé in the summer, how could she be jealous? Sachi, on the other hand…Tia sensed some bitterness there, but the girl was doing a fairly admirable job of feigning indifference.

"You sure you don't want any of this candy?" asked Kishi as she plucked another piece from the box on the counter and popped it in her mouth. "I mean, it is all yours, anyway."

"Not a big fan of candy, especially from strangers; help yourself." replied Tia, handing a mug of beer to another male patron who gave her a broad smile and winked at her. She gave a forced smile, and then released a sigh as soon as the man was out of earshot.

"Waiting to see what Tyn gets you, aren't you?" teased Kishi. "Throwing away all the stuff from other guys and only keeping the flowers he'll get you."

"Ha!" Halibel snorted, "He won't get me anything; he knows I think this entire holiday is beyond stupid and I'd bet money that he despises it even more than I do."

"You mean he won't get you anything because he's a selfish pig." sneered Sachi. "Stop trying to excuse everything he does wrong; it's pathetic, Tia. It's disgusting that you're so hung-up on that jerk when there are so many other guys around here that would kill for you."

"Stop badmouthing a situation you _don't_ understand." Tia growled, refilling a mug for a waiting customer as she did so. "You've been letting that one fight color your opinion for months now and it's starting to get irritating."

"Besides…" she added after a moment's hesitation. "He's _more_ than willing to kill for me. Worse, if I don't keep him under control."

"Stop defending him!" snapped Sachi, "He's an abusive-"

"Sachi, I think you have a customer…" observed Kishi, mercifully intervening before Halibel lost her patience and decided to try knocking some sense into the other waitress.

"Thank you." sighed Tia to her friend as she rang up another customer who, like so many others, handed her an envelope with his cash. She smiled and thanked the man, wishing him a happy Valentines as he left before proceeding to open up the envelope and retrieve her tip, discarding the unread card into the garbage.

"So if he's not getting you anything, I'll bet you two are going out to a nice, romantic dinner, aren't you?" pressed Kishi, leaning across the bar and grinning at the blond. "Admit it."

"In his own words, 'I don't _do_ romance.'" said Tia, wishing her friends would simply let the subject die.

"I don't believe it." sniffed Kishi. "I remember New Years; you can't tell me he doesn't care enough-"

"He _doesn't_, Kishi; the man doesn't have a heart."

"If he were really that bad, you wouldn't still be living with him."

"You are such a hopeless romantic…" said Halibel, shaking her head. "It's really frustrating at times."

"And you're a hopeless cynic." shot back Kishi with a grin. "Look, let's make a bet, then; if he _does_ show up with flowers or something or takes you out to dinner tonight, then you get to buy me lunch tomorrow. If he doesn't, I buy yours _and_ Sachi's."

Tia arched a questioning eyebrow at her friend's foolishness before a smug grin slowly spread itself across her face.

"Deal."

* * *

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to be?"

Ulquiorra sighed at Grimmjow's question, watching as the _sexta_ examined the strangely-shaped meat patty carefully. For a brief instant, he considered giving the other man the obvious and somewhat sarcastic answer, just to see his reaction.

"According to the box in the freezer, they are 'Heart-Shaped Holiday Patties.'" Ulquiorra informed him, deciding that he didn't really want to deal with Grimmjow going berserk today if it could possibly be avoided.

"I hate these godforsaken holiday promotions." growled Tyn bitterly, plucking out a wad of earwax on his pinky and smearing it onto one of the frozen patties before dropping it on the grill. "Who the hell comes up with this crap?"

"Heart-shaped?" Grimmjow mumbled, turning over one of the strange patties with a look of disgust etched on his face.

"Is there anything humans _don't_ have a holiday or celebration for?" asked Starrk. "It feels like every time we turn around, there's another one."

"I believe the countless celebrations are a way to make the most of their short lives…" observed Ulquiorra. "They do not know what awaits them upon their death, be it nothing at all or an afterlife of some kind, and so they go out of their way to enjoy the time they know they have."

"I wonder if we were like that…" mused the _primera_. "I don't remember much aside from some broken dreams, and I'm not even sure if they're real or not."

"Most likely, yes, we were. Since we were once human as well, we would have fallen prey to the same mindset-"

"Heart-shaped my ass!" snapped Grimmjow abruptly. "Who the fuck came up with this crap? Hearts don't look like this shit! They're more like…like…"

The _sexta_ fumbled for words for a moment before grabbing a handful of thawed patties and smashing them together, kneading the beef and molding them into disturbingly-detailed life-sized sculpture that he presented to the other Espada as evidence of his claims.

"_That's_ what a heart looks like!" he declared. "See the shape? They're _nothing_ alike!"

"Grimmjow…" Ulquiorra began slowly, "how is it that you seem to know exactly what a human heart looks like?"

"What? I can't be the only one here that's ever ripped one out!" snapped Grimmjow.

"I would never do anything so uncivilized."

"Personally, I've never torn out someone's heart…too much trouble if you ask me." said Starrk, poking at the meat sculpture for a second.

"What the hell is wrong with you all?" bellowed Grimmjow. "You're all pussies!"

"Whatever happened to keeping a low profile and not killing humans?" asked Starrk as all eyes turned to the _sexta_.

"I didn't say I've done it _recently_…" he said defensively. "Do you really think I'd be _that_ fucking stupid?"

The other three arrancar looked at each other for a second, silently debating on if they really wanted to answer him or not.

"Fuck you guys!" snarled Grimmjow, going over and snatching his mop from the corner and heading out into the dining room.

"He is right, however…" Ulquiorra said quietly once Grimmjow was out of earshot. "This is a very accurate replica of a human heart."

"I thought you said you never did anything that uncivilized…" questioned Starrk.

"I said that I would not _do_ anything so uncivilized; I did not comment on what I may or may not have _done_ in the past." said Ulquiorra simply. "You'll also note that someone else here neglected to confess whether or not he was guilty of such actions."

"Let's not discuss it, okay?" said Tyn evasively, taking Grimmjow's heart sculpture and putting it on the grill. "Looks like some lucky winner today is getting a _real_ heart-shaped burger."

"From what TV says, human women seem to expect to be treated like royalty today by love-sick men…" Starrk mused as he watched the meat sculpture cook and sizzle. "I have to admit, I kinda feel sorry for Orihime."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" asked Ulquiorra, stiffening. "Are you implying that I will treat her poorly?"

"I'm implying that you don't have a heart and don't know what it is to love someone. That poor girl is going to be so disappointed today."

"Eh, she has to be used to it by now…" said Tyn, casually flipping a burger. "I mean, they've been living together so long now that she knows not to expect anything from the emotionless bastard."

"And what are _you_ doing for Halibel?" asked Ulquiorra curtly, trying not to let his irritation show despite feeling a sudden and irrational urge to strike the other two males for their insolence.

"Same thing you're doing for Orihime; absolutely nothing." said Tyn with a shrug. "Difference is, I know Tia doesn't want any part of this lovey-dovey crap. Orihime, on the other hand…"

"Might not be too late to go buy her some flowers or something." Starrk offered. "Pretty sure that would surprise her and make her happy."

"I would thank you two to mind your own business." said Ulquiorra icily. "I have the situation under control."

"Poor Orihime…" said Tyn, shaking his head.

"Concern yourself more with Halibel and let me worry about Orihime." Ulquiorra said. "If anything, you should use tonight to solidify things between the two of you."

"What the hell do you mean 'solidify' things?" asked Tyn irritably.

"He's saying you two idiots need to get it over with." called Grimmjow from the dining room. "We all saw you two on New Years, but nothing ever came of that, did it? What the fuck have you been doing, sitting on your hands like some scared little brat?"

"It's not like-"

"Well, he has a point…" Starrk interrupted. "If you keep wasting time, she may find another human to entertain herself with."

"Exactly! We don't want to go through that crap again!" declared Grimmjow, pointing his mop at Tyn and shaking it threateningly. "If you don't positively _reek_ of her scent when you come into work tomorrow, I'm going to kick your sorry ass for being stupid!"

"You and what army, Six?" challenged Tyn.

"…me." admitted Starrk apologetically. "Nothing personal, but I have to agree with Cutey-Kitty on this one-"

"Fuck you, Starrk!"

"You guys can't be serious!" sputtered Tyn, surprised at Starrk's declaration. "I mean, it's not like that. We're not-"

"We _know_ you're not, and therein lies the problem." interjected Ulquiorra. "Halibel works in a bar and is approached by human men on a daily basis; if you are unwilling to take the next step, she will soon find someone who will, and we do not wish to endure watching you pine for her as you did during her time with Hiroki."

"Not you, too, Ulquiorra!" lamented the _quinto_. "Don't tell me that-"

"If you do not mate with her tonight, I will also be forced to 'kick your ass.'"

* * *

Stupid human behavior aside, today had been a _very_ good day.

A very relaxed and very content Halibel lay on the couch, propped up against the armrest as she counted up her tips from the day, with her black vest and tie casually draped over the back of the couch. She'd tried to keep a running total going in her head all day, but she had lost track of it all shortly after noon and had given up, opting instead to count it all up when she got home.

She smirked to herself as she counted, her mind already imagining the feel of a tropical sun caressing her skin with warm waters lapping at her feet, begging for her to come out and ride the oh-so-inviting waves…

A few more days like this, and she'd _definitely_ be able to afford a week's vacation somewhere warmer, somewhere where the surfing was good… Perhaps Hawaii, just like she had been planning so many decades ago before her death…

And at this rate, she might even have enough money to drag the birdbrain with her.

The smirk degenerated into an almost-malicious chuckle as she imagined Tyn struggling against the waves and wiping out again and again under the pounding surf before crawling ashore covered in slimy seaweed…

She didn't want to drag him along solely to see him suffer, though; while she didn't want to admit it to anyone, _especially _him, Tia wasn't entirely convinced that she would be able to enjoy the trip without his company. Besides, there would be plenty of things there to keep him entertained as well; the thought of being dragged through the island's sweltering tropical forests wasn't especially appealing, but Halibel supposed it would only be fair if she forced him to try surfing.

Summer was still several months away, but that didn't stop her from dreaming as she finished counting her money and laid it all on the coffee table before laying back on the couch again and stretching out. Tia gazed up at the white ceiling, gazing past it to see her dream vacation…a dream vacation that, oddly enough, included the others as well.

She frowned, a bit confused by the picture in her head; the last thing she should want would be the others there to drag her down, _especially_ that blue-haired lunatic.

"Tyn's nonsense about being a pack must be getting to me…" she murmured to herself, picturing Orihime dragging Ulquiorra along to try parasailing as the rest of them sat on the beach and watched. She even saw Neliel there with them, although that image quickly degenerated into a beach brawl between Grimmjow and Nel's fiancé.

An image of Lilynette conning Starrk into dressing as a hula girl flittered through her mind and Halibel shuddered at the thought; that was a picture she never wanted to see again, _ever_. It was all the more reason she shouldn't want the others to go with her and Tyn, and yet…

Tia shook it all off as she heard the door unlatching, signaling that Tyn had finally come home. She sat up and greeted him as he came in, but the redhead simply grunted irritably.

"Today sucks." he complained. "Humans and all their emotional crap everywhere and then the others…gah! They've picked on me all day… What am I, Grimmjow or something?"

"I had a good day, at least…" she said, gesturing to the small pile of money on the coffee table.

"Lucky you." he sighed. "I just want to sit down and watch a little TV right now; I don't want to go anywhere or deal with anyone or I might have to kill something."

"I see you didn't bring me anything…" Tia grinned, smugly thinking about the free lunch Kishi would owe her now.

"…was I supposed to?" asked Tyn abruptly, and Halibel could tell by the way his eyes went wide with surprise that he had completely misconstrued what she was saying.

"It's okay-"

"I thought you didn't want… I mean, I didn't…" he stammered, obviously confused. "Shit! Damn it, Tia, why didn't you _tell_ me you wanted something?"

"I _don't_-" Tia tried to say again, but Tyn cut her off once more as he opened the door, running a hand through his crimson hair and looking even more frustrated than when he first walked in

"I'll be back soon." he growled in irritation, stepping out into the hall.

"Tyn, wait!" she called, but he had already disappeared out the door and down the hall before she could stop him and Tia just slumped back down on the couch, covering her face with her slender hands as she sighed.

"Idiot."

* * *

Time had a funny way of changing things.

Orihime smiled to herself as she sat at her kitchen table, momentarily forgetting about the homework sprawled in front of her as she mused on the subject, idly doodling in the margins of her algebra assignment.

A year ago, she would have been hoping that Ichigo would show up on her doorstep with candy and flowers for Valentine's Day… It was a dream she'd harbored for so long, to be swept off her feet by the orange-haired teen, a dream that she knew could never be, would _never_ be, and that fact had been reinforced time and time again by watching his interactions with Rukia ever since the shinigami had first come into their lives.

She couldn't hate the petite, raven-haired girl; Rukia was a good person, her friend even…but that hadn't stopped Orihime from wishing Ichigo would suddenly surprise them all by choosing her over the Soul Reaper.

But that was then, and now…now all Orihime wanted was for Ulquiorra to be the one to sweep her off her feet.

In many ways, _that_ dream was more unlikely than her previous fantasy. Despite being an optimist by nature, Orihime had long ago concluded that there were several events that were infinitely more likely than Ulquiorra ever doing anything romantic: Starrk becoming a fitness guru or a party animal, Halibel voluntarily dressing more modestly, Tyn earning a PhD, Renji doing kidō _without_ blowing himself up, Ichigo getting along with Byakuya, Neliel dying her hair and going goth…

In fact, the only thing she could think of that was _less_ likely than Ulquiorra doing something romantic was Grimmjow somehow winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

Still, it was a wonderful fantasy; Ulquiorra coming home with a warm smile on his face, flowers in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other, and three simple words on his lips…

Smiling one last time, Orihime pushed the fantasy to the back of her mind and turned her attention back to her homework. She was in the middle of an unnecessarily complex problem containing more random letters than her writing assignment when she heard the front door open and she knew her roommate had finally come home.

"Ulqui…can you help me with this one?" she asked, not looking up. "I don't understand how to solve it."

"In a minute." he said, his voice sounding slow and almost unsure. "I…I have something for you, if you like."

Orihime turned around, more confused at Ulquiorra's almost-nervous tone than the now-forgotten algebra problem, and her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her.

There stood Ulquiorra, dressed immaculately in slate-gray slacks and a white button up shirt that was so new it still had the tag dangling from the sleeve. In his left hand was a small, heart-shaped box and in his right were a dozen black roses. His pale cheeks burned a bright crimson as he offered the gifts out to a speechless Orihime.

"I know black is not an appropriate color for the occasion…" he explained hesitantly, "but I was not able to procure any of the traditional red or pink. If you do not like them, I can go back later in the week once the florist has restocked and-"

"It's perfect…" said Orihime, her eyes watering. "I wouldn't change a thing."

"Happy Valentines, Orihime." he said softly and Orihime's self-control finally evaporated entirely as she rushed forward and hugged the former Espada tightly. It was the wrong three words, but that didn't matter; it was enough that the notoriously-emotionless _cuarto_ had gone this far just for her.

_Besides_, she thought happily, _there's always next year_.

* * *

"This whole holiday is stupid."

Starrk looked over at Lilynette from his place on the couch, watching her sit at the table as she did her homework and complained.

"I mean, it's all so…_sissy_." she said, putting her pencil down and turning around in her chair for a moment to face him. "All the others girls spent the entire day talking about how they wanted this guy or that guy to ask them to be 'valentine' and stuff, fussing over flowers and bad-tasting candies… You know what _I_ think? I think if a guy is gonna get me candy it had better be a couple of candy bars and not those dinky little bite-sized things."

"My, aren't we bitter?" teased Starrk with a grin. "Upset that none of the humans asked you to be theirs?"

"Ha!" laughed Lilynette as she reached into her backpack and fished out four unopened envelopes and tossed them to her 'brother.' "They asked, I just didn't agree to anything. I mean, it's just _so_ ridiculous! Everyone feels _obligated_ to do this crap today and that just ruins it; if they're really serious, it should be more random and voluntary, you know?"

"I believe I hear a bit of your 'aunt' Halibel there…" observed Starrk dryly.

"She'd say the same thing I am, I just know it!" she huffed. "Now, if someone wants to ask me _tomorrow_, that might be a different story; that's a little more random."

"I hope you didn't rant like this during class today."

"Well…" Lilynette began guiltily.

"Oh no." said Starrk, face palming. "How bad was it?"

"Not _that_ bad…I don't think." said Lilynette, fishing another envelope out of her backpack. "But Miss Keiko sent this for you."

"Please don't let it be another conference about your attitude…" groaned Starrk as he walked over and retrieved the envelope. Dreading the contents, he carefully opened the innocent-looking envelope and reached inside for the letter he knew to be there…but withdrew a pink and red card instead.

"What the hell?" asked Starrk quizzically.

"Eww, gross!" squealed Lilynette in horror. "My teacher sent you a Valentine? That's sick!"

"How interesting…" Starrk mumbled, his cheeks blushing some as he read the card. "It seems she thinks I am 'hot."

"DOUBLE GROSS!" gagged Lilynette.

"Don't be like that…" Starrk chided. "Miss Keiko is actually pretty cute, and she included her number here…"

"I meant _you_, you jackass." said Lilynette irritably. "Anyway, you can't go out with my teacher; that's just…_wrong_! Sick and wrong!"

"Lilynette,-"

"I mean, what would my classmates say?" she continued, ignoring her brother. "They'd accuse me of being a teacher's pet and say that she was showing me favoritism and…"

"I don't think I like where your train of thought is going…" said Starrk as Lilynette trailed off, the gears obviously turning in her head.

"Starrk, I take it all back; you _have_ to go out with her!" she declared abruptly. "Then I probably won't have to do that stupid ten page research paper or that dumb book report or-"

"What research paper?" asked Starrk suspiciously.

"Exactly!" said Lilynette. "If she's dating you, she won't care if I skip them!"

"I don't think that's how it works, Lilynette…"

"Why the hell not?" she demanded. "If you two are dating, then she should cut me some slack!"

"Let's forget about that for now; why don't you tell me more about this 'research paper' of yours? And don't think I missed the part about you owing a book report, too…" said the _primera_, pulling up a chair to sit down at the table with Lilynette, who just scowled.

"You suck, Starrk."

* * *

"Meow?"

Grimmjow shot a sideways glance at the sleek, young white cat as he poured a saucer full of milk and popped it into the microwave, frowning.

"You've already had yours, kid…" he growled. "Don't forget about the others outside."

The cat, which he had dubbed Lord Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez the Second, Esquire, meowed once more in understanding as it hopped down off the counter, and the _sexta_ shook his head as he punched in the time on the microwave to warm the milk. He'd found the cat on Christmas Eve and while he had intended only to keep the kitten overnight, he'd been unable to send the furball away when morning had come and had instead adopted him.

Grimmjow appreciated the company that "Junior" provided him with, at least; unlike Starrk and Tyn, the cat didn't fire off smartass remarks, it wasn't as condescending as Ulquiorra, and nowhere near as bossy as Halibel… Really, it was the perfect companion.

The microwave dinged and Grimmjow retrieved the saucer of warm milk and a paper plate full of canned tuna before taking them over to the already-open window and setting them out on the rusting hunk of metal that used to be a fire escape.

He frowned again, noticing an envelope and a small box of candy sitting on the fire escape; the metal structure was far too unstable for any human to climb it unless he had a death wish, but who else could have left them?

"I don't suppose you saw anyone skulking around, did you, kid?" Grimmjow asked the black cat sitting on the railing, the same immaculate black cat who was there almost every night. As expected, the cat didn't answer him; after all, how could it? Sighing, Grimmjow picked up the box of candy and tore the envelope open, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the gaudy-looking card inside.

"So long and thanks for all the fish…" muttered a confused Grimmjow as he read the card aloud, scratching his head. "What the hell?"

He looked back out the window again and saw nothing other than the usual strays busily eating the tuna he'd left for them.

The back cat, however, had vanished.

* * *

Rangiku had been right; paperwork really _was_ hell.

Neliel sighed and brushed a rogue strand of green hair away from her face as she grabbed another form from the stack waiting in her inbox and perused it's contents. It wasn't that there was an unusual amount of paperwork today, not really; the problem was that for the first time, she was doing it all alone.

She glanced over at the other side of the room and the empty desk that belonged to her captain, who had skipped out earlier in the day on some kind of important business that he wouldn't tell her about.

She wasn't angry with him; she couldn't be after all the times he had pulled double-duty to cover for her when she had a lieutenant's meeting or a Shinigami Women's Association meeting, or when she went shopping with Rangiku… Captain Ushii had always taken care of her paperwork for her, and now it was time for her to return the favor.

That didn't mean she had to enjoy it, though.

The best part about being a lieutenant was, by far, helping to teach and lead the squad. Neliel enjoyed those interactions more than she'd ever thought she would; the squad respected her now, and she relished spending time with them.

Which is why she felt a pang of sorrow when she noticed the form she had pulled out was a request from one of her newer squad members to transfer to Squad 4.

As she read through the transfer request, Nel had to concede that it made sense; the young man in question, while very kind and likeable, was not built for combat. He had just barely scrapped by the combat training at the Soul Academy and was fumbling through the squad combat drills awkwardly, frequently dropping his zanpaktou or hesitating too much in sparring. His kidō skills were fairly impressive, though, and there was little doubt that he would be a great asset to Squad 4.

It hurt to sign her approval of the transfer, but it was probably for the best; Squad 4 was a far better fit for the young man and he'd probably be happier there. The request form still needed to be delivered to Captain Unohana for her approval; while either Neliel or her Captain had to authorize the request to transfer out, only Unohana herself could authorize the request to transfer in.

"I'll drop it off first thing in the morning…" Neliel muttered, turning around and pinning the form to the wall behind her desk so she wouldn't forget. Unohana was a good woman and there was little doubt that she'd approve of the transfer, and in just a few days the kid could begin his new job working at the infirmary.

A knock at the office door made the ex-Espada jump in her seat slightly; it was unusual to get any visitors to the office this late in the evening unless something was wrong…or Takk and Satsu were looking for a place to hide from Captain Abarai again.

"Come in." she called, pushing the stacks of forms off to the side for a moment as Third-Seat Kiyone Kotetsu entered the office.

"Lieutenant Neliel, Ma'am, the Captain urgently requests your presence in the squad mess hall!" exclaimed Kiyone, bowing deeply. "He says it is of the utmost importance!"

"Is something wrong?" asked Nel, rising from her seat and retrieving _Gamuza_, sliding the zanpaktou into her belt. "Has something happened?"

"I'm sorry, but all he said was that your presence was needed in the mess hall _immediately_, Ma'am!" apologized Kiyone.

"I'm on my way!' exclaimed Nel, dashing past the younger officer and out into the hall. She didn't know what was going on, but if her Captain and fiancé needed her, then she would allow _nothing_ to get in her way as she went straight into her _sonido_, intent on getting there as quickly as humanly possible.

Or _in_humanly possible, as the case may be.

"Captain, are you okay?" she called, bursting through the doors into the mess hall. "An! What's the…situation… An, what is this?"

All the other seats in the mess hall had been cleared away save for a single small table in the middle of the room draped in a white tablecloth. A vase of roses sat in the middle of the table with a pair of candles on either side of the vase, the only source of light in the entire darkened room. Her captain looked up from his task of straightening the flower arrangement and grinned sheepishly.

"That took less time that I expected…" he said. "I'm guessing Kiyone overemphasized things again, didn't she?"

"She made it sound like it was an emergency…" Neliel nodded, slowly walking towards the table and examining it. "An…what's all this for?"

"What does it look like, _koibito_?" he asked with a smile as he pulled out a chair for her.

"A romantic dinner for two, but where's the foo-" she began as she sat down, but cut herself short as Sentarō made his way in from the kitchen, pushing a cart laden with fresh-cooked food. He waited patiently for Anrak to take his own seat before laying out a plate of food for each of them, finishing with two crystal wineglasses that he filled to the brim.

"I don't do so well with alcohol…" Neliel reminded him.

"Which is why it's tea." responded Anrak with a grin as Sentarō excused himself, leaving his two superiors alone.

"So you've been gone all evening setting this up?" asked Neliel, watching her fiancé nod. "And where did you get these glasses? They look really expensive."

"Borrowed them from Captain Kuchiki…he just doesn't _know_ I'm borrowing them." shrugged the shinigami. "Rukia's idea, actually; she swiped them for us."

"You didn't need to do all this for me…" Neliel smiled softly, blushing in the candlelight.

"I know I didn't need to, but I _wanted_ to."

"Thank you…for rescuing me from all the paperwork." she said with a grin as he chuckled softly.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Neliel."

* * *

The moron _still_ wasn't home.

Halibel clicked off the television and glanced at the clock, noting the time of nine in the evening and wondering where her idiot roommate had disappeared to. Oh, she recognized that he had misunderstood her observation about his lack of gifts to mean that she had _wanted_ something, but surely it couldn't really take this long to go running to a store and pick up some crappy flowers and sickeningly-sweet candies.

It was highly unlikely that Tyn had gotten lost, but extremely plausible that he had managed to get into some kind of trouble…perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea to go look for the _quinto_ and hopefully find him before he did anything too stupid and reckless.

Tia slid the remote onto the glass coffee table and pushed herself off the couch just in time to hear the door unlatching, and she turned around to see Tyn slinking back home at last with a bundle of red roses, a card, and a fairly large box of candies. She looked at the nervous grin across his face and sighed; she wanted to be angry at him for being stupid, but…

_What's that idiotic human expression, 'it's the thought that counts' or something?_

"You didn't need to do this…" she said quietly instead, accepting the offered gifts.

"But I thought-"

"I _know_ what you thought…" Tia snapped, a bit more harshly than she had intended, "but you misunderstood me."

"Sorry…" Tyn grumbled sourly.

"The gesture is appreciated, just…unnecessary." Tia offered, giving him a faint smile. "This sort of thing is never necessary."

"Hiroki would have done it for you."

"He was human." spat Halibel, annoyed to even hear the man's name. "You're not. And you don't need to pretend to be around me."

The redhead nodded in understanding as Tia sat the flowers and candy down and opened the envelope to retrieve the card.

"To my beautiful and beloved wife, thank you for so many years of joy. Happy Valentine's Day, Riku; I love you." Tia said aloud as she read the fine handwriting, shooting a suspicious look at Tyn who fidgited nervously under her gaze, offering only a somewhat-nervous and decidedly guilty-looking grin in response.

"…you mugged somebody, didn't you?" asked Halibel finally.

"I had no choice!" Tyn defended himself. "The stores were all sold out, and he refused to just _sell_ this junk to me."

"Tyn…" Tia sighed.

"It's not like I stole it; I left him some money for when he wakes up."

"You knocked him out?" asked Halibel incredulously. "What the hell is wrong with you? You can't just go around assaulting people!"

"It was an emergency!"

"This was _not_ an emergency! That man obviously got these for his wife and now when he gets home and has nothing for her, there's probably going to be a fight and-"

"And I don't care!" snapped Tyn, cutting her off. "I don't care about two stupid humans, I care about _you_."

Tia was taken aback by her roommate's sudden and unexpected declaration, so much so that her voice failed her and she took a half-step backward before she recovered her wits and waited for him to tack on the inevitable 'like I care for all my pack members,' just as he always did…but for once it never came.

"I don't know exactly when it happened…" he was busy saying, turning his back to her. "Back in Los Noches, you were just good company, someone to talk to; when we first moved here, you pushed me until I almost _hated_ you. But somewhere along the way, I…"

"Tyn…" she smiled softly, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. It was probably the nicest thing he'd ever said to her and an admission she'd been waiting on since before her breakup with Hiroki.

"And I don't know why, either; I mean, you can be really bitchy sometimes."

"You're killing the mood." Halibel scowled, tightening her grip on his shoulder painfully and watching him wince.

"Maybe it's always been there from the start…" he said as she released the death-grip on his shoulder and he finally turned back around to face her. "Maybe it's just been building up to this point."

"Maybe it has." she agreed, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"The only thing that kept me from going completely insane during my exile was remembering the conversations we had…" he admitted as Tia pulled him closer.

"Coming from you, that's almost romantic."

"I told you before, I don't _do_ rom-"

"Stop talking." she ordered, pressing her lips against his firmly to silence the protest she knew to be coming.

At first the kiss was slow and awkward, a sign that the gesture of affection was relatively unfamiliar to the two Espada. It was their first since New Year's over a month ago and recapturing the intensity of that night took some time, but with each passing moment they became more involved and more passionate until a familiar rumbling could be heard coming from Tyn.

"If anyone knocks on the door tonight…" he began huskily, brushing his nose against hers as he pulled away from her lips briefly.

"_I'll _kill them." finished Tia, grabbing a handful of crimson hair on the back of his head and pulling his lips back down to hers.

They stayed locked in each other's embrace for several more seconds before Tyn, still growling lustily, pulled away and seized the smaller blond, picking her up. Tia gave a short yelp of surprise as Tyn slung her over his shoulder, but she offered no resistance and instead grinned devilishly as he carried her back into her room and dropped her on the bed.

"Tia-" he began, but she cut off whatever he had intended on saying by seizing him by the collar and yanking him down to the mattress with her.

"Stop talking."


	33. The Good The Bad

**The Good, the Bad, and Grimmjow**

The last of the snow had finally receded and melted away as winter gave way to spring and the dreary April showers were finally retreating from the warm May sun that hung over Karakura Town, baking dry the last of the rain that the previous month had left in it's wake. The midday roads were crowded as cars zoomed back and forth and the sidewalks were clogged with pedestrians strolling about trying to find lunch, but Burger World remained conspicuously empty.

There had been a few people who had wandered up to the door before turning away angrily and only a handful of people were bothering with the drive-through, but Coyote Starrk wasn't about to complain about the slow business day.

The _primera_ yawned lazily as he removed the headset from it's perch around his ears, letting it drape around his neck as he watched his last customer drive away with their order. A slow day like this meant less work and given how little he'd been sleeping for the past few weeks, he was quite pleased to have such an easy day.

Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't morbidly curious as to what exactly Grimmjow had done _this_ time to scare the customers away.

He wasn't about to ask, though; only a fool would question such good fortune and while Starrk was many things, a fool was certainly not one of them.

Starrk rubbed at his tired eyes as he glanced out into the dining room, empty save for one individual sitting on a table with his feet planted in the seat as he watched the cars and people go by. A mop and bucket sat beside the table, with the mop's long wooden handle leaning against the table while the floor sat neglected, still dirty from the mess the two idiot teenagers on the late shift had made.

Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez had been sitting there for the past several hours, hardly moving and not making a sound as he simply stared out the window. Starrk shook his head, yawning again as he decided not to even bother trying to figure out what was up with the sudden shift in the normally-belligerent _sexta's_ behavior.

"I'm wondering if maybe your sudden return to form is dragging him down…" said Tyn as he came up beside Starrk, leaving the empty grill to pop and sizzle on it's own for a while.

"This isn't like our days in Hueco Mundo…" defended Starrk, pouring a cup of strong coffee to help keep himself awake. "Back then, yeah, I was pretty lazy…but this is different. I haven't been getting much sleep for the past two weeks and it's killing me."

"Good thing you're already dead, then." shot back the _quinto _with a teasing grin, but Starrk couldn't find the energy to even crack a smile.

"I'm getting less than three hours a night anymore, Tyn." sighed the exhausted Espada. "I don't know what to do about it, either; I've tried every over-the-counter sleeping aid you can think of, but the recommended dosing is all for humans and has no effect on me."

The duo paused in their conversation long enough to watch a pedestrian stroll up to the door, stop for a second, and then spin around on his heel and march away.

"That's the seventeenth one in the past thirty minutes…" mused Starrk. "This is one of the slowest 'lunchtime rushes' we've ever had."

"You think about talking to Urahara or Kurosaki's crazy old man?" asked Tyn, scratching the back of his head as he watched the potential customer retreat down the sidewalk to go elsewhere. "Maybe one of them can give you something stronger."

"I'm going to Urahara's after work today… If this goes on any longer, it might drive me as crazy as Grimmjow." said Starrk, raising his voice just loud enough to be heard out in the dining room.

There was no response; no objects hurled his way, no death threats, not even the usual "fuck you, Starrk" that he'd come to expect on a daily basis.

"Wow…he's really out of it today." muttered Tyn.

Grimmjow may not have paid any attention, but Ulquiorra finally came out of the manager's office and took a look around at the still-empty and still-filthy dining room. The pale _cuarto_ looked towards Starrk and Tyn, wordlessly seeking an explanation for the lack of activity, but the pair could only shrug helplessly.

"It's the dreams…" yawned Starrk before taking another sip of his coffee as Ulquiorra stepped outside to look for an answer. "The ones that don't make any sense."

"The ones that you think might be images of your human life?"

"Yeah… They're kinda fuzzy and scattered, images in no particular order with sounds sprinkled about randomly to scenes that don't quite fit."

"Sounds like your brain is broken." jabbed the redhead. "Lilynette wallop you upside the head recently or something?"

"Yesterday before she went to school, actually…" admitted Starrk. "But this has been going on for weeks now."

"I think you're trying to remember how you died, then." said Tyn with some certainty, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall. "Been there, done that, and it ain't pretty."

"I'm not-"

"Not intentionally…" the raptor clarified, "but your brain is trying to piece together how your old life came to a screeching halt."

"I don't think I _want _to know."

"I don't think you have a _choice_." said Tyn. "Urahara can give you all the sleeping pills in the world, but it's not going do any good until you find out what happened. The upside is that Urahara probably either already knows or can find out for you in short order."

"And the downside?"

"The 'weird dreams' will become nightmares that pop up every now and then in excruciating detail. They'll hurt like a bitch. They'll also leave you angry, depressed, and most likely hungry."

"Hungry?"

"I remember the day of my death and everything else since then, including the day I first became a hollow… Tia does, too, and every time we have those nightmares, we both wake up in a foul mood with an empty stomach." explained Tyn. "She thinks it's because the memories are so strong that the feeling of endless hunger we had back then carries over for a little while when we first wake up. A sandwich loaded down with as much meat as I can pile on it and a quick shouting match with her generally makes it all go away, though."

"Wonderful, just what I…wait a minute; you two are _still _fighting even though you're sleeping together?"

"It keeps things interesting." shrugged Tyn nonchalantly. "It's more fun after a good fight. Hell, sometimes we fight _while _we're-"

"Stop right there, please." said Starrk, holding his hands up to silence his friend. "I really don't want to hear any more; I have enough problems right now as it is without knowing everything that goes on between you two."

"You asked."

"Not for that much information." sighed Starrk as Ulquiorra stepped back inside and began to do something to the sign that declared their business hours. "My question now is 'why?' I mean, the dreams have been with me forever but why are they so bad _now_? What's making me try to remember?"

"Something you saw on TV, maybe? Hell if I know." said Tyn.

Their conversation ceased as Ulquiorra came over to them, announcing that he'd found the reason customers kept turning away from the front door as he slapped a crudely-made hand-drawn sign down on the counter that had been taped over the business hours.

"Restaurant Closed: Please Fuck Off and Die in a Fire." read Tyn aloud. "Cute."

"Since when does Grimmjow say 'please' for anything?" asked Starrk. "He's been acting strange all day."

"Have you two not realized what day it is?" asked Ulquiorra, a single eyebrow arched in subdued surprise.

"Friday?"

"It is the first of May-"

"Nel's wedding." remembered Starrk suddenly, interrupting the other two. "I'd forgotten about all about it since it's in the Soul Society."

"You two may have forgotten, but he has not." said Ulquiorra, turning to look out into the dining room at the unusually-quiet _sexta _who was finally getting to his feet and grabbing his mop.

"I think this is the first time I've ever felt pity for him." remarked Starrk quietly.

"Best not to let him hear that." said Ulquiorra. "He is still very prideful and would not take such an 'insult' lightly."

"All the same…" Starrk began, "I think I'll drag him with me to Urahara's tonight; if anything can cheer him up, it'll be my misery."

"Touching." remarked Ulquiorra dryly.

"And your misery, too, since I'll call Orihime and invite her to come along."

"I dislike you with great intensity, Starrk."

* * *

Kisuke Urahara was used to seeing the abnormal on a regular basis, a daily basis even, but even he still found it _highly_ abnormal for the fugitive Espada to all show up on his doorstep as a group; it was only the third time in the past year and a half that they'd all shown up together, with the first two times being their arrival in Karakura and witnessing Grimmjow and Tyn's battle over their old rankings. Outside of those instances, the arrancar would only appear individually or in pairs, usually to temporarily ditch their artificial bodies and 'play' in the underground training area at times scheduled to reduce the possibility of them encountering someone from the Gotei 13.

"This is certainly unexpected." he greeted them, forcing a smile. "What can I do for you this time, my dear Espada?"

"For starters, you can stop calling us your 'dear Espada…'" growled Halibel bitterly, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring daggers at the shopkeeper. "Aizen used to call us that."

"My apologies." said Kisuke, giving a slight bow of his head. "But as I was saying, this is an unexpected surprise; is something wrong?"

"Starrk's going crazy and he's trying to drag the rest of us down with him." spat Grimmjow. "I don't even wanna _be_ here."

"Starrk is having a bunch of bad dreams and we think it's because he's trying to remember how he died." Orihime explained from her spot beside Ulquiorra. "We're here for emotional support."

"Fuck that!" snarled Grimmjow.

"I would appreciate it if you would curb your language while Orihime is present, Six." said Ulquiorra, a faint edge in his voice that was likely due more to his own reluctance to be involved in Starrk's personal matter than Grimmjow's usual foul mouth.

"I see…" said Urahara, making a show of stroking his chin thoughtfully. "And what makes you think I can be of any help with this? I'm not a psychologist or a hypnotist."

"Because you have an insatiable desire for knowledge." Ulquiorra countered coldly. "It is not unreasonable to assume that you have already researched us enough to know everything about who and what we once were; we have come for that information."

"You give me too much credit! I'm just a simple shopkeeper trying to make a living-"

"Cut the shit, old man!" snapped Grimmjow, shoving the ex-Captain out of the way and forcing his way into the shop. "Let's just get this crap over with."

"Ah, Grimmjow; as pleasant as ever, I see…" muttered Urahara, inviting the others in with a simple wave of his hand. "Everyone might as well come in and take a seat, and I'll go pull the files I've assembled on you each."

"Files?" asked Tyn. "I was hoping you had some kind of crazy machine that we could plug into Starrk's head and watch his dreams on a TV screen."

"Afraid not; I haven't gotten all the bugs worked out yet." said Urahara with a grin that left the group wondering if he was joking or not as he stepped into another room to collect his files. "At any rate, it sounds like you've been watching too many movies."

"Moron." scoffed Grimmjow, and Tyn just scowled bitterly at the _sexta_.

"Grimmjow, I seem to recall that you saw a _Godzilla_ movie shortly after we moved here and then wanted to move to Tokyo because you thought it was a historical re-enactment…" Halibel remarked coolly, coming to her roommate's defense. "You said it would be 'more fun' than Karakura."

"That was different-"

"You were planning to have a fistfight with a hundred meter tall, nuclear-powered, fire-breathing, indestructible lizard that doesn't exist."

"Shut up, woman!" he roared, sitting down in the floor and folding his arms across his chest angrily.

"Now, now kids, let's all play nice…" said Urahara as he came back into the room and sat down with a small stack of manila file folders before shuffling through them. "Let's see… Halibel, Grimmjow, Ulquiorra, Tyn, Neliel…ah, _there's_ Starrk's folder."

A nosy Grimmjow carefully reached across for Neliel's folder as Urahara put the stack down, but had his hand promptly smacked away by the ex-shinigami.

"Nu-uh-uh!" he said, wagging a disapproving finger at the _sexta_. "If she wanted you to know about her past, she'd tell you herself."

"She doesn't remember!" snapped Grimmjow, reaching for the file again. "And since she can't tell me-"

*SMACK!*

"Bad kitty." admonished Urahara with a mocking grin. "Keep your paws to yourself."

"THAT'S _IT_, OLD MAN!" roared the Espada, attempting to lunge forward only to have both Halibel and Ulquiorra seize the back of his shirt and roughly jerk him back down into his seat.

"Can't we take you anywhere?" sighed the blond. "You're a maniac."

"Grimmy…" interjected Orihime with a friendly smile meant to help calm the deranged Panther Lord down, "maybe it's for the best we don't know about Nel's past. What if something really horrible happened to her, and what if we found out about it and then we were talking about it and she came for a visit and overheard us and remembered it all and it made her go all crazy or sad or crazy-sad or-"

"I get it, I get it…" growled Grimmjow bitterly, cutting off the girl's babbling.

"You're doing her a favor by not knowing, Grimmjow." offered Urahara, tilting his head down just enough for his hat to obscure his eyes. "I've read her file and I don't think she's ready to know the truth just yet…a girl like her may never be ready. However bad your lives may have been, however tragic your deaths, they simply don't compare to hers. Keep that in mind, and keep it to yourselves."

"She's happier not knowing, then?" asked Ulquiorra.

"Much." confirmed Urahara. "And so are you."

The room went silent as the Espada looked at one another, each contemplating what secrets the shopkeeper's cryptic words were concealing, wondering what had happened to the sweet and gentle Neliel they all knew.

Starrk cleared his throat, cutting through the tension that had filled the room and reminding the others of why they had come in the first place.

"Right, back to business…" said Urahara, trying to get back on track. as he opened Starrk's file and briefly scanned through it. "Are you sure you want to discuss this here in front of the others?"

"Takes too much effort to keep big secrets quiet, so I'm fine with everyone knowing… I'll tell Lilynette about whatever we find sometime later, when she's ready; she's staying at Kurosaki's place with Karin tonight."

"Never telling her might be a better idea, actually…" Urahara mused. "After all, I'm not sure she'd look at you the same way if she knew that you were wanted for murder…"

* * *

_**- New Mexico Territory, 1883 -**_

The hot summer sun was relentless out here, scorching the earth and baking alive any man fool enough to stay out in it for too long, and the man known simply as "Coyote" Starrk understood that he should probably find a place to cool off soon before the heat wave claimed his life. His horse fidgeted underneath him, a sign that it also knew they needed to be moving, but Starrk's eyes were fixed on the great iron snake slithering it's way through the desert down in the gully below.

Trains were amazing machines, a marvel of modern ingenuity. Starrk had been fascinated with them for as long as he could remember and had at one point in his youth even dreamed of being a conductor.

But childhood dreams had a nasty way of falling away over time, though, and instead Starrk had become a drifter; sometimes working as a ranch hand, or helping with cattle drives, and on a couple of occasions, he'd even been a bandit.

Starrk wiped the sweat from his brow as he watched the train belch out a great puff of black smoke as it winded it's way through westward through the territory. He pulled a metal flask from his long, well-worn leather duster, unscrewing the cap and taking a sip of the whisky contained within to keep his mouth wet. Water would have been better in this heat, but the liquor was better than nothing.

To his right, the faithful coyote that followed him everywhere whined up at her master, pleading with him to find shade and water before it was too late. Starrk glanced down at Lilynette and her ginger-colored fur and smiled.

"Alright, girl; you win. Let's get going." he said, backing his horse away from the edge of the cliff and heading towards the small town to the south. Lilynette yipped and followed him eagerly, anxious to escape the hot sun, if only for a little while.

Inwardly, Starrk dreaded going into town; his face was on wanted posters in Santa Fe and news that he was a wanted man seemed to be slowly spreading throughout the area. Riding into town and getting arrested or shot wasn't exactly on his list of things to do for the day, least of all for a crime he didn't commit.

A monstrous cry echoed across the landscape from somewhere farther away, bringing a scowl to Starrk's face as he imagined the beast responsible laughing at his misfortune.

He didn't know what they were, the fiends with the white, skull-like faces; all he knew is that no one else could see them and people always thought him mad if he dared mention them. Hell, for a while, Starrk had believed he was going mad, too, until an Indian trader told him tales of the white-faced demons that preyed upon the souls of men.

The Indian himself had never seen one, but swore that his grandfather had spoke of seeing them many times before his death, as had the medicine man in a neighboring tribe. There seemed to be no explanation as to why some could see the creatures and others could not, but Starrk felt better knowing that he wasn't alone in seeing the terrifying apparitions.

"Maybe I'm just cursed…" he sighed, thinking back to a week ago when he'd been branded a murderer for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

He'd been leaving Santa Fe after a three-day stay, intent on making his way east for a while and looking for work that would be less-taxing than anything in the area. Starrk had barely left the town when he heard gunshots and screams and, against his better judgment, he kicked his horse into a wild gallop towards the noise. He didn't want to be a hero, but something in him just didn't like the idea of doing nothing if good people were in trouble.

Besides, there might be a reward in it.

With his ever-faithful Lilynette behind him, Starrk rushed his way to the source of the noise…and felt ill by what he saw.

He'd played the role of a bandit a couple of times before when the need for cash was dire, but Starrk had never hurt anybody. He took great care to miss his victims when he fired his gun at them, wanting only to scare them. He was well aware that other bandits and desperadoes were less-mindful of the lives of others, but this was the first time he'd ever had the misfortune of seeing just how bad it could be.

It was a small coach, it's doors flung open and the occupants strewn about on the ground, staring up at the sun with lifeless eyes. A family of three, a mother, a father, and a young son no more than five years old, all dead, along with the coach driver and most of the horses.

The man or men responsible were long gone by the time Starrk had gotten there, and he found himself wishing they weren't; only an animal could slaughter a family like this and while Starrk would never harm a person, he had no problem with killing wild animals.

There was only one "survivor;" a single horse still lived, laying on it's side with labored breathing from a punctured lung, in obvious pain. There was no sense in letting the poor thing suffer, and so he did the only honorable thing he could by pulling his Colt revolver and putting the unfortunate animal out of it's misery.

And that had been when the sheriff of Santa Fe had rode up.

There had been a brief shouting match between the two, but the sheriff wasn't interested in Starrk's story; four dead bodies and Starrk standing over them with a smoking gun was all the proof necessary to bring him back to town to hang. He'd drawn his gun, putting a bead on Starrk while demanding that the 'murderer' drop his own weapon, but Lilynette growled threateningly at that, the fur on her ginger-colored back bristling as she bared every sharp tooth in her head at the lawman.

He'd pointed his weapon at the coyote, preparing to put Lilynette down before she could attack, but Starrk proved to be the faster gunman as he smoothly shot the pistol from the sheriff's hand in the blink of an eye.

Of course, that just added another charge against him, but Starrk had never had any intention of sticking around to face up to them. He quickly saddled back up on his horse and galloped away from the scene as quickly as he could, calling for Lilynette to follow him.

That had been a week ago and now "Coyote" Starrk was wanted, dead or alive, for murder.

With any luck, the wanted posters hadn't reached this town yet and no one would recognize him; he could just go in, get some feed for his horse, some jerky for himself and Lilynette, some bullets for his gun, and a flask full of water. Starrk figured that if he kept moving east, he might escape the price on his head and be able to start over.

Georgia was probably nice this time of year…

Or he could always go down into Florida and hide in the swamps for while.

"Decisions, decisions…" he muttered, thinking he might almost prefer to hang than to live in the sweltering swamplands as mosquito food and gator bait for the rest of his life.

He rode into the town slowly, taking care to keep his head tilted down just enough that the wide brim of his hat would help hide his face from anyone who might look too closely. He was relieved to see that no one seemed to be paying him any mind as he hitched his horse up in front of the saloon, smiling to himself as the animal buried it's head into the trough of water and began to greedily drink it's fill.

"Best idea I've heard all day." admitted Starrk, patting the horse and looking up at the weather-beaten, sun-faded sign on the building before heading into the bar. "Stay out here and keep him company, Lilynette; I'll be back in a minute."

The supposed-desperado wandered inside and took a long, careful look around at the handful of patrons; any one of them could recognize him and try to claim the bounty on his head, forcing him to be more careful than he used to be. Only a couple of people even looked his way, including the barkeep, but no one gave any indication that they knew who he was, which was every bit as welcome as the cooler air that filled the smoke-filled room.

He eyed a couple of older men playing cards in the corner and briefly considered asking if they would mind dealing him in for a couple of hands, but Starrk quickly decided that it wasn't worth the risk and approached the bar instead; best to stick to himself and not bother nobody, and maybe that way nobody would bother him.

"Water if you don't mind, barkeep; it's a hot one out there today." he said with a lazy smile as he dropped some coins on the counter. "Some more in a bowl or something, too, if you would; my…_dog_ is outside in the shade, and I'm sure she'd love a drink."

The bartender brought Starrk his water in a filthy glass and a food-encrusted bowl for Lilynette, but water was water in this heat and a little dirt never hurt no one. He smiled and thanked the man, taking the dirty bowl of water and sitting it just outside the door for Lilynette before stepping back inside and taking a seat for a moment.

It was good to be out of the heat for a while with a cool drink. Hell, might not be a bad idea to get his flask filled back up with some more whiskey for the road, but Starrk thought that could wait until after the visit to the general store, when he was on his way out of town.

The creaky saloon doors swung open and three men came in and went straight for the bar, and Starrk felt a nameless fear in his gut as he watched them from his table; they didn't carry themselves like bounty hunters, but something about their swagger told him they were trouble. Worse, they looked like newcomers drifting into town, newcomers who might have seen the wanted posters in Santa Fe and a handful of other small towns.

"Hell…" he muttered to himself as he took one last sip from his glass, "Looks like it's time to get movin' already."

He stood up quietly and exited the saloon, leaving his empty glass on the table and never noticing that one of the men had turned to watch him leave.

"C'mon, Lilynette…" he whispered to his faithful coyote as he exited, "Time to go, girl. We'll do our shoppin' somewhere further east."

The canine whined and finished off the last of the water in it's bowl quickly as Starrk unhitched his horse and, almost as an after thought, took out his tin whiskey flask and dumped the last of it's contents on the ground before filling it back up with water from the horse trough. The water would be better in the long run, maybe help him avoid dying of the godforsaken heat.

Starrk climbed up on the old, beaten saddle on his horse's back and made sure to ride casually out of town to avoid attracting any attention, but the fear in his gut kept chewing at him and telling him to go ahead and make a run for it.

_No. The last thing I need to do is act like I'm in a hurry or guilty of something. Just play it cool and everything will be alright._

"Tell you what, girls," he said as he patted his horse on the head and looked down at Lilynette walking beside them, "we'll call it an early night tonight and make camp somewhere in a couple of hours and just rest, okay? Sun'll be going down 'fore too long, anyway."

Lilynette yipped as if she were agreeing with him, though he wasn't sure if the coyote really understood him or not. The horse just snorted and kept walking, not having the faintest clue what it's master was saying.

True to his word, two hours later they had stopped for the evening with the horse idly grazing on some wild prairie grass while Starrk sat on an oversized rock watching the sun slowly set in the distance and paint the sky a fiery red. Lilynette, meanwhile, had found a small lizard of some sort to terrorize and was happily chasing it around their makeshift camp.

"You gonna feel awful stupid when that thing turns 'round and bites you on the nose." Starrk warned his furry companion with a smile.

It was the sound of hooves rather than Starrk's warning that made Lilynette stop playing with her new 'toy,' a sound that made Starrk's fear resurface again. He turned towards the sound and watched three men ride up towards their camp, and he instantly recognized them as the same three men from the bar.

He wanted to ask what they wanted, but the grin on the lead man's face told the entire story.

"Well, hello there, mister 'Coyote' Starrk…" said the leader coolly, reaching for his pistol.

"Wait a minute…" Starrk said as he stood up, "hear me out; I didn't kill nobody! I know what the posters say, but it wasn't me! I just heard the noise and went to go see-"

"We believe you." said the man to the leader's right. "Why, we know in our heart o' hearts that you're a good, innocent man!"

"Of course, that's cause _we_ killed 'em…" said the leader as his grin took on a more malicious look.

"Thanks for takin' the blame, though…" laughed the third. "That was mighty nice of ya, pardner, _mighty_ nice!"

"And now to top it all off, you want the bounty on my head…" said Starrk slowly. "It just ain't enough that you killed those four folks and ruined my name, is it?"

"Usually, we wouldn't bother with trackin' down no bounties, but when we saw you in the saloon…well, it was just too good to pass up. After all, you are worth a _lot_ of money right now, friend." said the leader as he and his men dismounted. "But it's a lot o' trouble to carry a dead man all the way back to Santa Fe, so we just gonna tie you up and camp here tonight, and tomorrow we can start headin' back to see the sheriff."

"And jes so you don't get no idea about trying to squeal when we get there, we'll shoot ya jes before we go into town." said the right hand man. "Nothin' personal, friend."

"I take it very personally…" replied Starrk, slowly going for the Colt at his side. "And I ain't your friend."

"Don't be stupid-" started the third man, but Lilynette abruptly lunged at him, fangs bared as she went for his throat. He managed to get an arm up in time to block her bite, and the coyote went to work savagely ripping the flesh from his arm and forcing him to drop his own gun.

The right-hand man turned to help his partner and the instant he took his eyes off Starrk, the wanted man put two bullets in his heart.

And Starrk himself took two to the gut from the lead man before he managed to switch targets and put one right betwixt the man's eyes.

The wounded Starrk stumbled backwards, leaning heavily against his horse as Lilynette continued to tear at the third man's arm before he managed to get a knife from his belt with his free hand and stab it into the coyote's underside.

Lilynette howled in pain as the murderer ripped the blade free and threw her off of him. He scrambled towards the wounded canine and raised the knife to finish the job, but two gunshots rang out through the evening and dropped him before the blade could come down.

"You okay, girl?" wheezed Starrk as he slid down to the ground, holding his bleeding stomach.

Lilynette's answer was a long whine of pain as she slowly crawled her way over to her master's side, trailing blood across the ground.

"I'm not doin' so good either, girl…" Starrk said, coughing up a mouthful of thick blood. "But we got 'em… They paid for what they did, to those folks and to us."

Lilynette gave one last, weak little yip as if she were agreeing with him, and Starrk favored her with a blood-stained grin as he scratched behind her ears affectionately. For all the pain burning it's way through his own body right now, nothing hurt more than seeing his faithful Lilynette with the ginger-back lying beside him, dying.

"I remember the day I found you, girl…" he said, stroking her fur gently as he watched the life fade from her eyes. "An orphaned pup sleepin' beside what used to be your mother… I didn't know nothin' bout raising a coyote, but I couldn't just leave you there…and you've been my best friend ever since…my _only_ friend. You ain't never left me once in all these years…"

He sighed as the coyote's ragged breathing finally came to a halt.

"And you still ain't left me, girl; I'll be right behind you." he said, weakly reaching a hand up and smacking his horse's thigh roughly and firing his last shot into the air. "Go on, get! Go find a new home and don't worry bout us!"

The horse didn't need to be told twice as she galloped off into the night, heading back towards the town they'd left behind only hours ago.

An inhuman howl echoed across the plains and as Starrk turned his head, he could see one of the white-faced demons approaching his camp slowly. He'd always taken care to run away from those things before out of fear for his life, but running wasn't an option now, not with two lead slugs lodged deep in his gut. Besides, what could it _possibly_ do to an already-dying man that would be worse than watching Lilynette die?

Still, he shakily raised his arm and aimed the empty Colt at the beast in defiance.

"I'll see you soon, Lilynette." he whispered, pulling the trigger as the monster began to charge.

*CLICK!*

* * *

"Lilynette's gonna be pissed when she finds out you named her after a stupid _dog_!" laughed Grimmjow. "Jesus, Starrk, you really _are_ pathetic!"

Starrk sighed, trying to tune out Grimmjow's mocking laughter as he attempted to process the memories that had come flooding back to him during Urahara's story. He remembered it all now, remembered all of that fateful day so long ago, and a phantom ache in his gut reminded him of the two slugs he'd taken later that night.

Maybe now the fragmented dreams would stop, though. Maybe now he could sleep peacefully again.

"I think it's sweet." said Orihime, smiling as she touched Starrk's shoulder. "In life, Lilynette was the name of your best, most-trusted friend; that's why when you split your soul in two in Hueco Mundo to have a companion, you instinctively named her Lilynette."

"What is a friend but one soul that resides in two bodies?" muttered Ulquiorra, which earned him a few stares from his fellows.

"An old philosophical quote; nothing more." he defended himself stiffly.

Meanwhile, Grimmjow was still relentlessly mocking Starrk.

"You are such a pussy!" he roared in laughter. "You were layin' there bleeding to death and you were more worried about your stupid dog and your dumb horse? What a loser!"

"So nice to see that you're feeling better…" said Starrk sarcastically. "Glad I could help."

"Seriously, how did _you_ become the _primera_? You're more of a pussy than Halibel-"

*POW!*

Halibel's right fist came out of nowhere and connected solidly with Grimmjow's head, dropping him from his sitting position and leaving him laying flat on the floor, dazed and growling at the half-dozen pretty little birdies that now seemed to be dancing around his skull.

"Idiot." spat Halibel as she folded her arms back over her chest.

"Well, Grimmjow, since you're so interested in critiquing Starrk's death, how about we open _your_ file?" asked Urahara. "I'm sure that someone as 'talented' as yourself has nothing to hide, right?"

"Ha! Of course not!" sneered Grimmjow as he pulled himself back up to a sitting position. "My life was probably every bit as epic as my afterlife has been!"

"Except for the parts where Kurosaki kicked your ass…" teased the _quinto_.

"Shut the fuck up, lizard!"

"Well then…" Urahara began as he opened Grimmjow's file, "if you have nothing to hide, let's see what this says about you…"

Grimmjow only managed to listen to the former Soul Reaper for a few moments before he felt himself drifting back to a day so long ago…

* * *

**-** _**Canada, 1995 -**_

'Pissed' didn't even _begin_ to describe how Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez felt at the moment.

He was laying flat on his back, staring up at the arena ceiling and the celebratory flags of the opposing team and all the championships they'd won. He was laying flat on his back, on the ice, with a dozen people standing around him, and not a single one of the worthless bastards bothered to offer him a hand up. He was laying flat on his back after having taken a shot to the head, and no one was asking if he was okay.

"I hate _all_ you worthless pricks!" he announced, pushing himself up to his feet angrily.

No one paid him any mind and instead kept staring down at the ice, pale-faced and slack-jawed.

"What the hell is wrong with you morons? Let's get this shit going; I got a game to win and records to set!"

Nothing.

"Oh God…" someone from the other team was muttering. "I didn't mean to…I never… Why wasn't he wearing his helmet?"

"Because I lost it when I slammed your jerkoff of a Captain into the boards and dropped him like the sissy he is!" bellowed Grimmjow. "And stop talking about me like I'm not here!"

"I always thought he'd be the one to kill someone on the ice…" said another.

"What the hell are you idiots babbling about?" asked Grimmjow, turning back around and looking to see what had everyone so out of it.

A familiar figure lay prone on the ice, with a deep gash on his forehead that revealed a cracked skull underneath, a bloodied puck lying nearby. Beneath the man's head, blood was slowly pooling around the skull, perhaps indicative that the back of his head had been busted when he fell backwards onto the ice.

"What…the…" Grimmjow asked, confused. "This ain't happening! That's not me! It _can't_ be me! I'm not dead! I _can't_ be dead! I have championships to win! History to make! I'm going to be a _legend_, god damn it!"

"Freak accident…" someone was saying to the first man, "He crossed in front of a hundred mile an hour puck with no helmet; just an accident. You can't blame yourself for this."

"_I_ can, you son of a bitch!" roared Grimmjow, taking a swing at his accidental-killer.

His fist passed right through the man's jaw like it was a mirage. Enraged, Grimmjow tried tackling the man only to pass right through him and come crashing down onto the ice behind him.

"Hell of a way to start the preseason…" someone else was saying. "At least this game wasn't televised."

"God damn it, I'm not supposed to die until _after_ my fifteenth Stanley Cup victory!" spat Grimmjow in disbelief. "A heart attack as I'm raising the Cup over my head, after I've been named MVP for at least ten seasons! This is bullshit!"

But no one heard the raging spirit, and Grimmjow could do nothing but stand and watch as the fans were ushered from the arena and the teams headed back to their locker rooms as medics arrived to collect his body.

"This was only the start of my fourth season…" he muttered to himself as he went over to sit down on the visitor's bench where his team had been hours earlier, staring up at the home team's championship banners. "It's not fair…"

He was still sitting there hours later, staring vacantly at the banners when all the lights in the arena finally shut off and left him alone in the dark.

Was this Hell? Forced to spend eternity in another team's arena, staring at celebratory banners he'd never win? Looking at images in the locker room of their Cup victories in years past without ever touching it himself? Sure, maybe he'd been just a tad _too_ aggressive on the ice, but that didn't warrant this kind of punishment, did it?

All the Quebec-born Grimmjow had ever wanted was to be worshipped like a king, and now he could kiss _that_ dream goodbye.

Grimmjow looked down at the broken chain dangling from his chest and poked at it, watching the links clink against one another and wondering what the hell that was for, and why it seemed to be shorter every time he looked down at it. Was the partial chain a sign that his life was over? A sign that his existence was incomplete? Was it some kind of symbol that he was chained to this place? Or maybe it was just the opposite; after all, a broken chain _should_ mean that he was free to come and go as he pleased, right?

Either way, it was too much to think about right now.

With a sigh, he heaved himself off the bench and over the waist-high wall, letting his skates touch the ice once more. He glided effortlessly around the rink a few times, even making a few runs at an empty net with his ghostly hockey stick, but with no puck to shoot and no goalie to try and stop him, the exercise simply felt…hollow.

A devilish roar echoed across the empty arena and the ice itself seemed to shake as if something heavy was out there with him, a feeling similar to skating when a zamboni was operating nearby. Grimmjow turned to look at the far end of the rink and there stood a giant monster, nearly three times his size. It's misshapen, greenish-colored body looked almost apelike with it's short legs, long arms, and barrel chest, but the white mask it wore was what really captured the hockey player's attention.

"What the fuck are you supposed to be?" asked Grimmjow with a sneer. "Hell's goalie?"

The creature bellowed again, it's eerie cry sounding like a challenge to Grimmjow as he bent over and put his stick on the ice as if he had a puck to handle. He smirked fearlessly at the monster; what harm could it do to someone that was already dead, anyway?

"Come on!" challenged Grimmjow as he began skating full-steam down the ice, driving towards the creature and the net behind it. "Show me what you've got!"

The monster, whatever it was, took a single step forward and effortlessly swatted Grimmjow away with an oversized hand, sending the spirit crashing back into the bench where he'd been sitting earlier and his hockey stick, now broken in two, went flying up into the stands.

"Son of a bitch, that actually _hurt_…" said Grimmjow as he picked himself up, realizing that he'd been wrong and that this thing could actually do him plenty of harm.

Still…

"That all you've got, pussy?" he taunted as he stepped back out onto the ice.

The smart thing to do was to flee, but Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez had a reputation for being the toughest, meanest son of a bitch in the NHL and he never backed down from _anyone_, least of all some ugly prick in a goalie mask!

He never noticed that his chain had been eating itself and was now finishing the last link as he discarded his gloves and balled his hands into tight fists. Grimmjow coughed once, spitting up some sort of white sludge that began to cover his face, but that didn't matter and neither did the fact his heart felt like it was literally _eating_ itself; the only thing that mattered was proving once and for all why he was the undisputed king of his domain.

The white sludge began to harden as the chest pains continued, but the hardened athlete ignored the pain and took a step forward, noting that his entire body felt like it was on fire. Twisting and contorting, he was becoming something that was decidedly _not_ human.

Grimmjow took another step forward and looked at his enemy through his strange, new mask as he hunched over from a position of standing erect to something that was much more comfortable, a low growl rumbling in his throat as he carefully regarded the prey before him. The memories of who he was and what he was doing in this cold, dark place were rapidly fading away from him as a terrible, insatiable hunger and a burning desire to crush all opposition took over his very being, weaving itself into his core and making him into something new, something to be feared…

All hail the Panther Lord.

* * *

"No wonder you're so deficient; your brains got scrambled playing a stupid game."

"Fuck you, dog breath! I had a _man's_ death unlike you, you worthless pussy! 'Oh boo-fucking-hoo, my dog died!'"

"You died in a freak accident in the _pre_-season!"

"Now kids, let's try and behave here, okay?" interrupted Urahara. "There's no sense in fighting over who had the 'better' death or why Grimmjow is…Grimmjow. What's important here is that you both have some answers now and have a chance to make some semblance of peace with yourselves and your previous life-"

"That fucker who smacked me in the head with the puck, is he still alive?" asked Grimmjow suddenly. "I want his address."

"Murder is not an option, Grimmjow." Ulquiorra pointed out. "It would be best to simply let it go and continue on with your new…existence."

"Fuck that!" snapped the _sexta_. "I was going to be a _legend_, you hear me? A legend! An icon! I was going to win more championships than anyone, be a ten-time MVP, set league records and-"

"Actually, you _did_ succeed in setting some records…" Urahara interjected, flipping to the next page in the folder. "Most penalty minutes in a single game, most penalty minutes in a season, most penalty minutes in a post-season, most ejections in a season, most suspensions in a season…and a footnote here says that the league began cracking down on excessive brutality the next year, which means no one will ever be able to break those records. Looks like anyone who comes remotely close to your level of psychotic behavior will get kicked out of the NHL as it stands now."

"Ha! I win! I _am_ a legend!" declared Grimmjow triumphantly. "And hey, this means I should move back to the US and-"

"The answer is still no, Six." Ulquiorra cut him off. "That life is over and you should accept it. You cannot go back and attempt to re-live it. Your gigai likely bears a striking resemblance to your original human body and unless you change your name, you will raise a lot of questions early on, questions you cannot readily answer. And as time progresses and people watch you play, they would begin to wonder why you seem to be shrugging off injuries that would cripple any other player, why you have the energy to keep going strong well after all the other players have exhausted themselves, and why you don't seem to be aging."

"God damn it!" seethed Grimmjow. "Have I told you how much I hate you?"

"Five times today, eighteen times yesterday. One hundred and forty-one for the week to date."

"Fuck you, Four!"

"Ahem, children…" said Urahara, pulling some discs from the folder. "If you don't behave, I won't let you have _these_."

"What, you managed to find film of his games?" asked Starrk. "Wonderful; I get nightmares and Grimmjow gets movies."

"Some of his games." Urahara clarified. "I burned them to DVD in case this day ever came. I also have a 'highlight disc' of some of Grimmjow's 'greatest' hits."

"Where's the fucking TV, old man? Let's see 'em!" demanded the belligerent _sexta_.

"Kids today; always so _impatient_…" commented Urahara as he stood and motioned for the group to follow him further back into the shop. "Single file, children! No pushing and shoving, and make sure you have a buddy so you don't get lost."

He shot a teasing look back at Ulquiorra and Orihime and grinned at them.

"You two 'buddies' can hold hands so you don't get separated if you want." he said.

"Cut the crap, geezer!" bellowed Grimmjow. "They can sit in the back and make ditzy little bat-babies together for all I care, I just want to see those discs!"

"All right, all right… This way, then; the television is in here."

The ex-shinigami led them to another room with a flat-screen television mounted on the wall and inserted the so-called 'Highlight' disc into the DVD player as the Espada all found their seats and settled in for the show.

"Let's see…main menu…I doubt you really care about your 'greatest goals,' so we'll go straight to the real meat of this disc; your many, many fights."

Urahara used the remote to go through dozens of screens, each screen containing a list of ten possible fight clips to watch, and the others simply shook their heads as Grimmjow grew more and more impatient.

"Let's see…" Urahara mused, paying no attention to the anxious _sexta_, "There's plenty of you fighting other players, a couple of you punching out the referee, four of you attacking the other team's goalies, one of you punching your own coach… Oh, here's one I really enjoyed; you and the opposing team's coach from a game in December '92."

The clip began showing Grimmjow standing in front of the opposing team's bench, apparently arguing with their coach over something that had happened, but the roar of the crowd made it impossible to understand what the two were shouting at one another. Finally, a referee came over and led Grimmjow away from the bench and back out to center ice to restart the game…but after only ten feet, Grimmjow turned and charged back towards the bench, diving over the wall and tackling the coach, taking the man down hard before pummeling his face in with punch after punch.

"I think I just found another reason why you can't try and be a hockey player again…" Tyn said.

"Fucker had it coming!" snapped Grimmjow. "I don't know what he said, but he had it coming!"

The clip ended and returned to the menu screen of fights where Urahara began to browse through them again.

"Let's see…six of you attacking other teams' mascots, two of you attacking your _own_ mascot, two of you climbing over the glass in the penalty box to continue fighting with another player, one of you climbing over the glass to attack a _fan_… Here's another classic; the news interview after a loss in '91."

On screen, a camera and an interviewer approached a thoroughly defeated and exhausted-looking Grimmjow who sat slumped-over in a steel chair in the locker room, looking at the floor as sweat dripped down from his matted hair.

"Mister Jaegerjaquez, your Panthers lost after _you_ made an illegal check during a power play and got put into the box, giving the Bruins a two-man advantage on the ice and a chance to score two quick goals before the final buzzer; are you angry at yourself for costing your team a much-needed victory tonight?"

For a moment there was no answer as Grimmjow slowly raised his head and looked into the camera, seemingly contemplating his answer.

"Well, are you? Do you feel responsible for the loss?" pressed the reporter.

"I feel like kicking your ass!" snarled Grimmjow suddenly, lunging from the chair and taking the man down to the ground, bashing his face in with his own microphone.

"Dude, get off him!" said the camera man. Grimmjow whirled to face him and grabbed the steel chair, standing up and raising it over his head menacingly.

"Hey, come on, we're just doing our jobs-" pleaded the camera man as the chair came down. There was a burst of static for a moment before the screen went black, and then the DVD menu screen came back up.

All eyes in the room turned to the _sexta_, who was grinning in evil glee.

"You're sick in the head." Halibel said in disgust.

"It is disturbing to know that even back then, you were this…_problematic_." added Ulquiorra.

"Oh, it gets better…" said Urahara "Let me find my favorite clip for you…let's see: Grimmjow versus arena security, Grimmjow versus some guy who sung 'O Canada' before a game, Grimmjow versus the equipment manager, Grimmjow versus the zamboni driver, Grimmjow versus the popcorn vendor, Grimmjow versus the beer guy… Ah, here we go! Grimmjow versus the television announcers!"

The clip began showing two aging men in suits standing in a press box overlooking the ice, talking about the game.

"And as we get ready to begin the third period, what do you think the Panthers need to do to win this one, Tom?"

"I've said it all night long and I'll say it again, Chuck; the coach needs to get that maniac Jaegerjaquez under control and keep him _out_ of the penalty box! He's a young player with a lot of potential and it's time for him to step up and _realize_ that potential, Chuck! Mindlessly attacking everyone on the ice that's wearing a different jersey may be wildly popular with the fans, but it's certainly not doing his team any favors!"

"I can't disagree with you there, Tom! Jaegerjaquez's antics have already given the Flames three goals on the power play tonight and it's taken _everything_ the Panthers have just to catch up! If Jaegerjaquez gets put in the box again tonight, it could spell the end of the Panthers' playoff hopes!"

"And I hope the coach is playing this broadcast back in the locker room! Maybe this will finally be what it takes to make Jaegerjaquez start playing smart hockey and stop acting like a barbarian-"

"_RRRRAAAAAGGGHHHH!_" came Grimmjow's war cry as the deranged hockey player charged into the press box and took a running leap at the two announcers, welding his stick as a weapon. A wild swing forced one to duck but his chubby partner was too slow as the blade of the stick collided with his head and broke, knocking the man to the ground with a gash on his forehead.

"Help! Jesus Christ, someone get this madman out of here! Security, help!" called Chuck.

"Shut up, fat man!" snarled Grimmjow on-screen. "You and your bald little butt-buddy here brought this on yourselves! _No one_ talks about Grimmjow the Great like that, _no one_! You're nothing more than a has-been and he's a never-was!"

Two men in security jackets entered the press box and tried to restrain Grimmjow, but he turned around and decked one in the jaw with a fierce right and dropped him to the ground in under a second before grabbing the second by his hair and slamming his head into the still-running camera. Again the screen erupted into static before going black and backing out to the menu again.

Silence filled the room, save for the singular sound of Grimmjow's riotous laughter. All eyes turned towards the _sexta_, who ignored the disbelieving stares and continued to laugh until his ribs hurt.

"Your issues run deeper than I ever imagined." Ulquiorra commented.

"It's not _that_ bad…" said Orihime slowly, obviously trying to find a non-existent silver lining to it all. "I mean, I think Grimmjow has made a lot of improvement since then-"

"Such as assaulting the mall Santa at Christmas?" asked Tyn.

"And trying to drown Kurosaki in the soda fountain at work?" added Starrk.

"And the numerous customers he has threatened, and the handful that he has actually assaulted…" said Ulquiorra.

"Well…" Orihime tried again, "I mean, Grimmjow is…"

"I'm _awesome_!" finished Grimmjow for her. "The old farts in that video said it best; the fans _loved_ me. I'm a one-of-a-kind original!"

"Thank God for that…" muttered Halibel.

"You know what? Fuck _all_ of you!" snapped Grimmjow, standing up and retrieving the Highlight disc from the DVD player before angrily snatching the other discs from Urahara's hand. "You're just jealous of _my_ greatness! Screw you guys, I'm going home!"

He stormed out of the shop, making sure to slam the door closed on his way out, leaving the rest of the Espada and one former Soul Reaper to exchange glances before releasing a collective sigh.

"At least he's not depressed anymore…" Orihime offered. "I'm pretty sure he's forgotten all about Nel's wedding."

"That's the one upside to all of this…" Starrk said, rubbing at his tired eyes. "But now I'm going to be having nightmares about a deranged hockey player in addition to the nightmares about my own death."

"It won't be that bad for you, Starrk…" Tia said in an attempt to comfort him. "You're the most relaxed of any of us; it bothers you _now_, but in time it'll fade and you'll find some peace."

"And as long as we're on the subject of making peace with ourselves, what about you and Tyn?" asked Urahara. "I've got files on both of you-"

"I drowned in a surfing accident in California in the sixties."

"And I took a header down a rocky hillside in Utah and smashed every bone in my body in the seventies." added Tyn.

"It would have saved me a lot of trouble if you two had told me that when you first came to Karakura; all that research for nothing…" sighed Urahara, dropping their files back into the pile in irritation.

"Hey, at least you managed to give answers to Grimmjow and myself, _and_ you still have Ulquiorra's file there; maybe he wants to find out about his past while we're here." said Starrk. "And then, I can go home and maybe, just maybe, get a good night's sleep."

"That is true…" said Urahara slowly, opening Ulquiorra's file and taking a long, hard look at the old black-and-white photograph of the pale man in question. Human Ulquiorra looked so much like the gigai sitting before him now and given the uniform the man in the picture was wearing, Kisuke Urahara found it a bit unsettling.

"Well, how about it, Ulquiorra?" asked Tyn. "You wanna have him read the file or not?"

There was a momentary pause as the _cuarto_ considered his answer, the gears visibly turning in his head as he weighed his curiosity versus logic. Unable to decide himself, he looked across at the ex-shinigami and Kisuke had little doubt that the ever-observant Ulquiorra could see his reluctance to speak of the file's contents.

"No." Ulquiorra announced finally. "It is of no consequence; that life, whatever it may have been, is over and cannot be reclaimed. There is little point in trying to remember or relive it and the past should stay just that; the past."

"That's a very wise and very mature thing to say, Ulquiorra." Urahara said with a relieved smile as he shut the folder and shuffled it to the bottom of the stack. "Practical as always, I see."

"Ah, come on!" Tyn complained. "You can at least give us a hint!"

"No can do, my feathered friend." Kisuke said as he stood up. "Ulquiorra's past is his business unless he decides otherwise, and I do believe the man has already spoken."

There was an oh-so-slight facial tick in the corner of Tyn's eyes that Kisuke thought might be suspicion, but after a quick analysis of the _quinto_ he discarded the notion; based on observations of Tyn over the past year and a half, there was little chance of the raptor discerning that he _wanted_ Ulquiorra's past kept quiet.

He had little doubt that Ulquiorra himself had picked up on that fact, however, and he wouldn't have been terribly surprised if Halibel had noticed it as well, but they weren't likely to raise a fuss over it.

"Well, if we're done, then I'm going home and going to bed and if anyone or anything wakes me before noon, I might be forced to kill it." yawned Starrk.

"Good thing Lilynette is staying with Karin tonight, then!" giggled Orihime. "I'll bet she comes in at seven AM every morning yelling at you to get up before she beats you up!"

"Every morning that's _not_ a school morning." Starrk confirmed. "We swap roles during the school week and _I'm_ the one dragging _her_ out of bed."

"Ulqui's up at the crack of dawn, making breakfast and making sure I don't oversleep." said Orihime cheerfully. "It's like having a chef _and _a second alarm clock all in one, except when he wakes me up he doesn't go all 'RINGRINGBZZZRINGRINGBZZZ!'"

"How quaint…" said Halibel dryly. "Strangely enough, I think I'm the fortunate one; Tyn gets up and makes breakfast at dawn and lets me sleep in if I want."

"That's because the one time I tried to get you up early, you threw your alarm clock at my head." scowled Tyn.

"Just because you're a literal 'early bird' doesn't mean _I_ have to be…besides, you dodged it just fine."

"You also made me buy a replacement for it…"

"Well, it was technically your fault for trying to wake me." said Tia dismissively, effectively ending the argument.

"Much as I'd love to stick around and hear more about just how dysfunctional you two are, I think it's time to go home." Starrk said as he slowly pushed himself up to his feet. "And I appreciate everyone coming out to be with me tonight for this…having that kind of support and knowing I'm not alone…it means something."

"That's what it means to be part of a pack…" Tyn said as he stood up and offered a hand to Tia, pulling her up to her feet as well. "We support each other…even Grimmjow."

"Suppose that means I'm no longer 'Starrk the Lone Wolf' then, huh?"

"Technically, you were never a wolf to begin with…" Ulquiorra said. "Coyotes and wolves are-"

"I get it, I get it…" Starrk said, cutting him off. "Useless scientific trivia aside, you _know_ what I meant."

"We know." Orihime agreed cheerfully. "And you're right; you're not alone, not anymore. You and Lilynette will always have us with you."

"And to me, that makes all the difference in the world."


	34. Dating Difficulties I

**Dating Difficulties and Babysitting Lilynette I**

"Sorry; no can do."

Starrk sighed as he removed his headset from it's usual spot of being draped around his neck and laid it down beside the cash register, wandering over to the redhead at the grill to plead his case once more. It wasn't often that Coyote Starrk asked a favor of the other Espada and never before had Tyn refused to help him. Maybe if he pushed just a little bit harder…

"Look, I know you and Tia dislike kids, but Lilynette isn't like the human kids-"

"And the answer is still no." said Tyn, shaking his head. "Tonight just isn't good."

"If she gets too obnoxious, I'm not going to care _too_ much if you slap some duct tape over her mouth and lock her in the closet." Starrk tried. "I just need someone to watch over her tonight while I go out with Keiko."

In the two months since learning about his human life, Starrk had finally gathered the nerve to call Lilynette's teacher, Miss Keiko, and ask her on a date. He'd expected her to refuse at first given that he had waited so long between receiving the Valentine's card from her and his phone call, but the woman had jumped at the chance and the two of them had gone out several times since then.

Under normal circumstances, he would drop Lilynette off at the Kurosaki household to spend time with Karin, but this week was different; Keiko wanted to swing by the apartment and see Lilynette herself before they went out, and Starrk wanted to make sure that Keiko saw he was leaving his 'baby sister' in mature, responsible hands.

Isshin Kurosaki, of course, was anything _but_ mature and responsible.

"Considered locking her in the closet once or twice yourself, eh?" teased Tyn as he seasoned one of the meat patties with enough spices to literally burn a man's tongue to ash.

"Actually, she did it to me a few weeks ago…" Starrk muttered. "Look, Keiko doesn't have to know that you two don't like kids-"

"Starrk, we'd love to help you, we really would…" said the _quinto_, interrupting him. "but we just _can't_ tonight; Tia's making me take her out for dinner since we've never actually done the 'date' thing before."

"Why the hell didn't you say that in the first place?" asked an exasperated Starrk.

"HAHAHA! You pussy!" laughed Grimmjow mockingly from his spot wiping down the front counter. "She's _making_ you take her out? I'd never let a bitch make me do anything I didn't wanna do!"

"_That_ would be why…" sighed Tyn as Grimmjow continued to laugh.

"Don't you have some tables to go clean?" Starrk asked the _sexta_. "I think the counter is fine."

"Too busy making fun of dipshit here." grinned Grimmjow maliciously. "Seriously, how pathetic can you get? What, she threaten to make you sleep on the couch if you didn't?"

"Threatened to make me bunk with you in that filthy rat-infested hellhole you call home, actually." Tyn quipped.

"Hey, fuck you! Lord Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez the Second, Esquire, has taken care of my mouse problem!"

"Talking about yourself in third person is a sign of mental illness, you know…" Starrk observed.

"He's my cat, you jackass!" snarled Grimmjow as Ulquiorra emerged from the manager's office and looked around at the empty dining room. "And it's not _that _filthy!"

"The dining room here is cleaner than your apartment, Grimmjow, and yet it still needs cleaning." Ulquiorra stated flatly. "Stop making a spectacle of yourself and go mop the floor."

"What about Ulquiorra and Orihime?" asked Tyn, gesturing towards the _cuarto_ as they watched Grimmjow grab his mop and head for the dining room, dragging it behind him and muttering darkly the entire way.

"Subjecting Lilynette to Orihime's cooking seems like a cruel and inhumane punishment; I just can't bring myself to do that to her." said Starrk. "No offense, Ulquiorra."

"Her culinary skills have improved considerably." said Ulquiorra, almost sounding defensive of his roommate.

"I think you've just gotten used to it." said Tyn. "Either way, after that godforsaken pie at New Year's, I'm not touching anything she cooks ever again."

"Jesus, what am I going to do?" asked Starrk. "Maybe I should call Urahara and ask him…"

"Orihime's friend Tatsuki might be willing to help." offered Ulquiorra. "She dislikes me, but I do not believe she holds any ill-will towards Lilynette."

"Might be worth a-" Starrk began but was cut off abruptly as the front doors to the restaurant were flung open by an angry-looking orange-haired teen with enough force that the glass nearly shattered.

"What the hell is _wrong_ with you, Grimmjow?" demanded Ichigo as soon as he was through the door. "Why can't you just mind your own damned business and leave me the hell alone?"

The _sexta_ stood in the middle of the dining room, wringing his mop out into the bucket and blinking in obvious confusion. Grimmjow furrowed his brow, mentally trying to recall what he had supposedly done as Kurosaki loomed over him waiting for an answer.

"Alright, I got nothing." said Grimmjow with a shrug. "What the fuck are you trying to pin on me this time?"

"Don't play dumb with me, you lunatic!"

"He's not playing; he really _is_ dumb." offered Starrk from behind the counter.

"Fuck you, Starrk!" snapped Grimmjow, shaking his mop at the _primera_ threateningly.

"I got up this morning to go check the mail…" Ichigo began, seething. "Nice, warm summer morning… I step outside, barefoot, and step right into a pile of fresh fertilizer right on my doorstep! Fifty pounds of crap!"

"How do you know it was fifty?" snorted Grimmjow. "You weigh it all just to have something else to bitch about?"

"You left the empty bag at the scene, Grimmjow!" snarled Kurosaki. "And then, THEN when I get to the mailbox and open it, I find that it's crammed full of fertilizer, too! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Fertilizer? Ha! _I'd_ have left a horse head on your doorstep or something." sneered Grimmjow. "So guess what? I didn't _do_ it, you jackass!"

"No more lies, no more games!" snapped Ichigo. "I _know_ you did it because no one else is _that_ twisted and-"

"He's telling the truth; he didn't do it." interrupted a voice from the doorway. The Espada and the substitute shinigami all turned towards the voice and saw Yoruichi Shihōin leaning against the wall beside the front door, arms folded across her chest as she watched the two men arguing.

"What do you mean he didn't do it?" demanded the substitute shinigami. "Of _course_ he did it! Who else would be so twisted?"

"I can assure you, Grimmjow is completely innocent." replied the former spy coolly.

"Well, there's a phrase I never thought I'd hear…" muttered Starrk.

"Shut up, Starrk!" roared Grimmjow before turning on Yoruichi. "And _you_…just how do _you_ know I'm innocent? I might have done it! Don't you dare say I couldn't!"

"…she's trying to help you, moron." said Tyn, shaking his head.

"I don't need anyone's help." seethed the _sexta_, more incensed over the notion of someone else butting in than he was by being falsely-accused.

"He came home from work, fed the stray cats of the neighborhood, and watched TV while bitching about everything that was actually on to his cat." said Yoruichi, moving away from the door finally and hopping up on the front counter for a seat. "And then he took a shower, singing _Hakuna Matata_ to himself before he went to bed."

Everyone turned to stare at the red-faced, wide-eyed Grimmjow who was struggling to find a voice for his rage.

"That's a lie! A filthy _lie_!" he roared finally. "_All_ of it! Every word! Fine, Kurosaki, _I_ did it! You wanna fight? Let's go, right now!"

The orange-haired teen regarded Grimmjow for a moment before looking over at the ex-shinigami, considering her words carefully before looking back at an obviously enraged and embarrassed Grimmjow gripping the handle of his mop so hard that the wood was beginning to crack and splinter.

"I believe her." said Ichigo finally. "Yoruichi's got no reason to lie about this…but if Grimmjow didn't do it, who did? This isn't the sort of prank that idiot Keigo would pull, and I can't see Renji spending all day running his squad only to come to the human world late at night just to pull a sick joke on me…"

He narrowed his brown eyes, focusing his gaze squarely on Starrk and Tyn.

"Of you two, Starrk is the least likely because of the effort involved and I don't think Lilynette would do something like that and risk her friendship with Karin, but _you_, Tyn-"

"Have an alibi." interrupted the redhead. "Hate to burst your big, angry bubble there, Captain Strawberry, but it wasn't me; ask Tia if you don't believe me."

"Oh, believe me, I will…" hissed Ichigo, pulling out his cellphone and dialing The Oasis. "With all the problems you two have had, there's no way she's going to cover for-… Yes, is Tia Halibel there? Tell her it's a friend of a friend…"

Tyn looked over at Starrk who merely offered a shrug in return.

"I guess he doesn't know about you two." said the _primera_. "Of course, if you did anything to piss her off last night or this morning, you're screwed."

"Hey, Halibel, it's Kurosaki…" said Ichigo into the phone. "I'll make this quick; someone left a pile of crap on my doorstep this morning and we know Grimmjow didn't do it. Tyn is the next most-likely suspect, but he says-…oh, he was? Oh…well, I didn't know that you two were-"

Ichigo's face began to turn red from embarassment as the one-sided conversation continued.

"That's more information than I- wait, _what_?" stammered Ichigo. "That's just…I am _not_ a prude! That's just so perverted and wrong-"

"Do I even want to know what she's telling him?" Starrk asked the _quinto_ standing beside him.

"Eh, probably not." said Tyn with a shrug.

Ichigo finally cut off the call abruptly and put the phone back in his pocket, closing his eyes and rubbing his face with his hands as he willed the embarassment from the uncomfortable conversation to go away before even attempting to speak again.

"In the past two years, I've seen and done a lot of strange things that have forced me to grow up pretty fast…" he began slowly. "I've had to kill enemies and I've nearly been killed myself. I've seen homes destroyed and lives shattered. I've been drenched in the blood of both friend and foe alike and yet somehow, _that_ conversation stripped me of the last of my innocence. I hope you two are proud of yourselves."

"She told you about the balcony incident, didn't she?" asked Tyn. "That was an accident, I swear."

"Among _other_ things I'd prefer not think about… Broad daylight, she said! You two are just…you're _wrong_!" Ichigo exclaimed. "I think I liked it better when you two were trying to _kill_ each other!"

"Sometimes it feels like we still are, like last night when-"

"I _know_…" said Ichigo, rubbing his face again. "I wish I didn't, but I know."

"You really _are_ a prude, aren't you?" said Tyn, eliciting a chuckle from Yoruichi.

"I've been saying that ever since I met him." she said with a teasing grin, to which Kurosaki could only scowl.

"Look…" Ichigo began, suddenly sounding very tired, "if you guys didn't do it, then who did? This can't just be a random thing."

"Ask the quiet one here." suggested Yoruichi. "You haven't questioned him yet."

"Ulquiorra doesn't have the sense of humor required to-" Tyn scoffed, but Ichigo cut him off.

"Well actually, it was Ulquiorra who gave me the idea of sneaking into Grimmjow's apartment and filling the bathroom with kitty litter…he even helped me." said the teen slowly, stroking his chin as he remembered the incident.

"He did _what_?" demanded Grimmjow. "You pasty-faced son of a bitch! I should break your goddamned skull right now and…and…_hey_! I bet you're also the one who switched out my fucking nametag when I wasn't looking!"

"And the snow penis…" continued Ichigo, "it really _didn't_ look like Grimmjow's other works…"

Grimmjow dropped his mop as he and Ichigo stalked over to the counter to glare at Ulquiorra, rage visibly boiling.

"It would appear that I have been caught." said the _cuarto_ emotionlessly, unfazed by the murderous looks the other two men were giving him. "Regardless, you are both overreacting to a simple experiment meant to explore the human tradition of pulling harmless practical jokes on one's comrades."

"Harmless?" asked Ichigo angrily. "My sisters _saw_ the snow penis! Dad and I had to _lie_ to Yuzu about what it was so she didn't freak out!"

"Unfortunate, but it is not my fault that you and your father have failed to properly explain human anatomy to the child."

"This isn't going to end well…" observed Starrk, taking a couple of steps away from Ulquiorra.

"You…you set all this up…" Grimmjow growled. "You did it all…you…you…I'm going to _kill_ you!"

With that, Grimmjow launched himself over the counter and tackled Ulquiorra, knocking him to the floor under a fierce volley of punches. Tyn and Starrk took another couple of steps away from the struggling men on the floor, watching them fight for a moment before the pale Espada managed to knock Grimmjow away.

"You cannot defeat me, Grimmjow." stated the Demon Bat as he used the counter to pull himself back to his feet. "It is no different than our days in Hueco Mundo-"

"Oh, _shut up_!" snapped Ichigo, grabbing Ulquiorra by his shirt and yanking him across the counter into the dining room. "You're going to pay for _all_ of it!"

"Boys will be boys…" said Yoruichi, shaking her head as Grimmjow climbed up on the counter and dove back into the fray with renewed vigor.

The other three watched Grimmjow crack a chair over Ulquiorra's back and then use the broken piece of wood left in his hand to slap Ichigo across the face, but the teen retaliated by grabbing Grimmjow's forgotten mop and knocking both opponents senseless with a mighty swing.

"So…explain the balcony thing." asked Starrk conversationally as the brawl in the dining room continued.

"What do you mean 'explain' it?" asked Tyn as they watched Ulquiorra pick Kurosaki up and plow him through a table only to have Grimmjow do the same to him.

"When you came in with the bite marks on your neck, you had an excuse. You had an excuse for the scratches on your arms. You had an excuse for the black eye. Now, how do you explain this balcony thing?"

"No excuse…" Tyn shrugged. "She has a nice ass and I have no self-control."

"You're an animal, Tyn."

"Why do I have the feeling that I've been watching the wrong apartment?" Yoruichi asked off to the side, sipping on a carton of milk she had retrieved from behind the counter.

"And why exactly are _you_ here?" Starrk asked, turning to face the lithe woman still sitting on the countertop. "Also, how is it you seem to know so much about Grimmjow's home life?"

"Former captain of Squad 2, remember?" she asked in return. "But anyway, I was out wandering through town when I saw Ichigo stalking his way down the sidewalk looking pretty upset…thought I might want to follow him and see what was up. Is this a typical day around here?"

"Day, no; week, yes." said Tyn. "Gotta love this job; pay might be crap, but we have weekly front-row seats to the kind of mayhem most people only see on televised wrestling."

"Except I don't think they're faking." added Starrk as a serving tray collided with Ulquiorra's now-bruised face, sending a splash of crimson splattering against the front windows.

"And Tia still thinks _I _have issues…" snorted Tyn. "I'd like to see her work here with you guys for one week and then tell me that with a straight face."

"Speaking of Tia, can't you talk her into making you take her out _next_ weekend?" asked Starrk almost pleadingly. "I don't ask for favors often, but-"

"Problem?" asked Yoruichi, nibbling on some chicken nuggets she'd acquired from the back while the two Espada had been distracted.

"Lone Ranger here needs a babysitter for Lilynette tonight…" answered Tyn, wincing as he watched Grimmjow crack Ulquiorra and Ichigo's heads together. "He's got a date with her teacher."

"And I want to make a good impression by having her see that I'm leaving Lilynette with a mature, responsible adult."

"That's all?" asked Yoruichi. "That's an easy problem; look, _I'll _take care of it for you."

"What do you mean you'll take care of it?" asked Starrk. "You'll babysit her?"

"Just don't worry about it." said Yoruichi evasively. "Pick her up at six or so?"

"Five, but-"

"Easy enough." grinned Yoruichi. "I'll make sure it's taken care of and you can enjoy your date tonight."

"Why are you bothering with this?" asked Tyn suspiciously. "What's in it for you?"

The ex-shinigami just grinned and took another sip of milk before turning her attention back to the small war raging in the dining room as if she hadn't heard the question at all.

* * *

"Why can't I stay with Karin?"

Starrk sighed at Lilynette's indignation, very conscious of the other woman in the apartment and very annoyed at hearing Lilynette whine yet again about the situation. The _primera_ stole a quick glance at Keiko, his date for the evening and Lilynette's teacher, standing in the living room and tried to formulate an answer that might appease both the angry young arrancar and his date.

"Because when I called her father, Isshin said he was too busy to watch after the both of you tonight." Starrk lied, hoping neither Lilynette or Keiko would call his bluff.

He should have known better.

"That's _bullshit_!" snapped Lilynette. "I know-"

"What have I told you about that kind of language, young lady?" Starrk demanded, trying to sound like a responsible adult and hoping that cutting her off mid-rant would derail her from pointing out the flaw in his excuse.

"Oh, come on, Starrk! It's not like-"

"Lilynette, I don't want you using profanity; not outside, not in the apartment, not at school, not anywhere! Is that understood?" he asked firmly, watching Keiko from the corner of his eye. The attractive young woman gave a smile and a faint nod at his method of handling the situation, signaling to Starrk that he had indeed read her correctly.

He'd apologize to Lilynette for being so 'harsh' on her later; right now, he had to keep up the appearance of being a stern guardian for the girl.

"Who am I stuck with then, huh?" asked Lilynette irritably. "That creepy Urahara? The cat-lady? Who?"

"Yoruichi said she'd take care of it…" Starrk admitted. "She's a nice lady and I'm sure you two will have plenty of fun together-"

"Doing what? Chasing mice?" snorted Lilynette. "If I can't stay with Karin, you could at least let me stay here by myself; I'm _not_ a little kid, you know!"

"Not a little kid, no…" soothed Keiko as she combed a long strand of dark hair out of her face and joined the conversation. "But you're not old enough to be left alone yet. You're not ready. What if something happened while we were out? What if there was an accident? What if you got hurt? What if someone broke in?"

"I can take care of myself just fine!" said Lilynette defensively. "I'm not some accident-prone idiot and if some moron breaks in, I'll just kick his stupid human a-"

"Lilynette!" warned Starrk, hoping Keiko wouldn't question the girl's use of the word 'human.'

" …butt." she muttered before giving a resigned sigh. "Couldn't I at least stay with Tia, then?"

"Tia's busy tonight; she's making Tyn take her out for once."

"All the more reason I should go with them!" exclaimed Lilynette. "Tyn's likely to do something stupid and I want to be there when she knocks the hel…_heck_ out of him."

"I think they'd rather have a nice evening for just the two of them, like Keiko and I are wanting." sighed Starrk as he ran a hand through his hair and glanced at the clock, wondering where Yoruichi was.

"Fine! What about Orihime and Ulquiorra?"

"Do you _really_ want to eat some of Orihime's infamous home cooking tonight?" Starrk shot back, watching Lilynette's face turn green at the mere thought of it.

"…Grimmjow then? I can deal with his stupidity for a few hours…probably."

"Your 'uncle' Grimmjow is insane and a bad influence; I'm already worried that you might have too much in common with him." countered Starrk as someone began knocking on the apartment door.

"Great…cat-lady's here." said Lilynette ruefully, kicking the couch in frustration.

"Don't be like that; Yoruichi is a nice person and I want you to treat her with respect, understood?" said Starrk as he made his way over to the door and opened it. "Yoruichi, glad you could-"

Yoruichi, however, was nowhere to be found.

"Well, this is a first; I've never been mistaken for my sister before…" said the man standing in front of Starrk, his green-haired female companion giggling.

"You're not Yoruichi…" Starrk said slowly, his mind trying to process why there was a strange man and the former-_Tres_ Espada at his door.

"Nel!" cried Lilynette excitedly, showing no sign of her earlier frustrations as she sprinted across the living room to the other woman and hugged her waist tightly. "I didn't know _you_ were going to pick me up!"

"Yoruichi called us and said you needed a babysitter tonight…" Neliel explained, hugging the younger girl back. "And since An and I were already coming to the-"

The ex-Espada almost blurted out 'World of the Living,' but her companion nudged her with his elbow gently and gestured to Keiko, who was making her way over from the couch.

"…to town." Neliel corrected herself with a smile. "We were already coming to town for a short visit anyway and I thought this would be a great way to spend time with my favorite niece."

"Your only 'niece,' you mean…" observed Starrk as Keiko came up beside him.

"Hi! I'm Keiko Tadeshi, I'm Lilynette's teacher." she said, giving a slight bow to the two guests.

"Keiko, this is Lilynette's aunt, Neliel Tu Odelschwanck and-"

"It's Ushii now, remember?" asked Neliel with a smile. "Neliel Tu Odelschwanck-Ushii."

"Ah, sorry…" said Starrk nervously. "I keep forgetting you got married. That means this is-"

"Anrak Ushii." offered the dark-haired man. "Good to finally meet you, Starrk; Nel has told me a lot about you."

"Yeah…sorry I couldn't make the wedding." said Starrk, feeling slightly nervous to be in the presence of a Soul Reaper he didn't know. "But there were complications…"

"We understand." said Neliel. "So don't worry about it at all."

"Ah, so you two must be newlyweds, I take it?" asked Keiko. "Congratulations! How did you two meet, if I may ask?"

"During the Winter War…" Nel began, again momentarily forgetting she was conversing with a human before she caught her mistake, "…_games_. The winter wargames. We're in the military."

"Oh! I didn't know you two were with the JSDF!"

"It's why we rarely make it to Karakura…" said the male, taking over for Neliel who was visibly a little embarrassed for the near-slip. "Lot to do on the base, especially when you have a squad to take care of; it's always _something_. Not too different from watching a room full of children day in and day out, I'd imagine."

"Nel's really tough when she wants to be…" Lilynette told Keiko proudly. "She can beat up _any_ guy! She could probably whoop Starrk if she wanted to!"

"…except that I don't really _like_ fighting unless it's necessary." Nel reminded the girl gently, ruffling her hair. "But your vote of confidence means the world to me."

"_Anyway_…" Starrk said loudly, clearing his throat. "I think it's time we say our goodbyes and head out, don't you agree? Keiko and I have things to do-"

"-like each other." Lilynette said with a mean-spirited grin, ducking behind Nel for cover as Starrk finally swatted at her rear in irritation.

"Like going to dinner." Starrk corrected as Keiko blushed. "And maybe a movie or something…I don't know yet; this is all new ground to me!"

"Been there." Anrak nodded in understanding.

"Done that." Neliel agreed. "Things turned out for the best that way, though."

"We're kind of playing this by ear, too…" said Anrak. "We've never really babysat before."

"Well, there was that time Captain Zaraki left Yachiru with us while he went out on a mission…"

"Don't remind me…" groaned Anrak, wincing at the memory. "That incident pretty much killed any desire I had to _ever_ have kids."

"It wasn't _that_ bad…" Neliel said. "I mean, we managed to put the fire out and Sentarō and Kiyone were only in the infirmary for a few hours…"

"Fire? Infirmary?" asked Keiko, sounding alarmed. "What happened?"

"But Lilynette's _much_ more well-behaved!" chirped Nel cheerfully, ignoring the question. "You two go out and have a nice evening together and we'll bring Lilynette back later tonight before we go back to the S-…_home_. Before we go back home."

"…but what about the fire and the infirmary?" stammered Keiko as Lilynette grabbed Nel's wrist.

"Short version?" Anrak tried to explain. "Some kids should never be allowed to even look at candy-_urk_!"

He was cut off abruptly as Neliel managed to grab him by the back of his shirt with her one free hand, dragging him along as Lilynette led the charge down the hall and away from the apartment.

"Will she be okay with them?" Keiko asked Starrk worriedly.

"…honestly, I think I'm more concerned if _they'll_ be okay with _her_."

* * *

"How did this happen to you?"

Ulquiorra slumped forward, looking away from Orihime as the orange glow of her Sōten Kisshun enveloped him and began to rapidly heal his many wounds. Had he been in his spirit form this would all be unnecessary, but one of the many drawbacks of living in a gigai was that it limited his own regenerative powers considerably and made him more…human.

He felt the swelling in his left eye going down and in a few seconds more he could see clearly once again, but still he opted not to face Orihime.

"I fell down the stairs." he said finally.

"What stairs?" asked Orihime. "Here?"

"Burger World."

"…but there aren't any stairs at Burger World."

"I feel down the stairs." he repeated stiffly, defying her observation.

"And that explains the shoeprints on your clothes?" asked Orihime dubiously.

"Yes."

"How about the wooden splinters sticking out of your back?"

"Can we discuss something else?" asked the pale Espada evasively. "I do not wish to talk about my accident."

"Okay…" said Orihime slowly. "So…how was work?"

"I would prefer not to discuss that either." said Ulquiorra, picking up the remote and turning on the television. He flipped through the channels aimlessly before finally coming to a stop on a movie about World War II.

"The inaccuracies in these films never cease to amuse me." he commented dryly.

"That's what happens when they go for entertainment and explosions over truth and history!" chirped Orihime. "Uryū said that once after we had to watch an old war movie in history class."

"Indeed." said Ulquiorra as the characters on screen took cover in a nearly-demolished building and began briefly discussing their lives as the fear of death overtook them.

"Doesn't it make you the least bit curious about your own life to hear others talking about theirs?" asked Orihime.

Ulquiorra twitched slightly as he abruptly picked up the remote and shut the television off.

"Nein."

* * *

"So tell me about that other kid and the fire…"

Neliel looked down at Lilynette and gave her a nervous grin as the younger girl squeezed her hand tightly. They were barely out of Starrk's apartment complex and already Lilynette was asking uncomfortable questions, a sign that made the ex-Espada worry if the decision to watch her for the day was wrong.

"We don't like to discuss it…" Nel tried to explain. "The Head Captain blamed An for what Yachiru did and-"

"-and I had to _personally_ reconstruct the barracks." finished the Soul Reaper for her. "Seriously never having kids after that."

"Oh, don't be like that!" Nel pouted. "All kids aren't like that and all Yachiru needs is for Zaraki to teach her some discipline."

"Yeah, like _that's_ ever going to happen." snorted Anrak derisively.

"At least _I_ don't burn things anymore." offered Lilynette. "I haven't set fire to anything in years!"

"So you're implying you have in the past…" said Anrak, trailing off for a moment. "It's your turn to take the blame if she flips out on us, Lieutenant."

"I promise you she'll behave, An." said Nel confidently.

"It was a long time ago, in Los Noches…" explained Lilynette, trying to defend herself. "Grimmjow was being a butthead so I set fire to his room while he was out one day."

"Wait a minute…" said Anrak, stopping in his tracks. "Grimmjow is the one who seems to have a crush on my wife, right? You set fire to his quarters?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Come on, kid; I'm buying you some ice cream."

"Sweet!"

"An!" cried Neliel. "You can't reward her for that kind of behavior!"

"…but you're not allowed to like it." he added.

"Damn. Ice cream. Boo." said Lilynette, doing an amazingly poor job of pretending to be sad.

"You two are terrible…" said Neliel, shaking her head and smiling in spite of herself.

"What?" asked Anrak. "You wanted us to get along, didn't you? We're bonding!"

"Can you two _not_ bond over arson, at least?"

"I punched him in the nuts a couple of weeks ago for being stupid." offered Lilynette.

"…so, extra-large sundae with hot fudge and sprinkles?" asked the shinigami.

"An!"

* * *

"Your idiocy never ceases to amaze me…"

Tyn gave a nervous grin as Halibel glared at him angrily, trying to lighten her mood and diffuse the situation before the _tercera_ felt the irresistible urge to hit him. Seriously, it wasn't _his_ fault things were going so bad; no one had ever told him that all the so-called "good" restaurants needed reservations! How was he supposed to have known?

"Four tries at four restaurants and we keep getting turned away because you were too dense to call ahead…" sighed Tia. "You _knew_ we were going out tonight, you _knew_ I wanted a nice dinner, and somehow you forgot to make reservations _anywhere_?"

"Fifth time is the charm, right?" asked Tyn as they stood in front of a new restaurant. "Don't worry; I'll take care of it. Just wait right here and I'll get us in."

"If I hear any screaming in there-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know; I'll be sleeping on the roof tonight." muttered the redhead as he went inside.

A well-dressed man standing behind a podium looked up from his book and smiled in greeting before putting down his pen on the seating chart.

"Welcome, Sir! Have you a reservation?" he asked.

"No, not exactly…" Tyn began, noticing that the man's expression became less pleasant. "But I was hoping-"

"If you do not have a reservation, we cannot seat you tonight, Sir." said the man stiffly. "However, we can make a reservation for you in the next couple of weeks if-"

"I can _see_ into the dining room from here, you know." Tyn growled. "I see a few empty tables, so what's the problem?"

"Those are reserved, Sir."

"They're empty. If the jackholes who reserved them are late, I say they should be up for grabs."

"That it not how we do business, Sir."

"Look…" Tyn began, stepping closer and pointing towards the door just as Tia wandered in to check on him. "If she doesn't get to have a nice dinner tonight, she's not going to be happy. If she's not happy, I don't get any and I'm likely to end up sleeping outside. If that happens, I won't be happy. If I'm not happy, _bad things happen_."

He grinned darkly as he put an arm around the man's shoulders.

"You don't want that, do you?" asked the _quinto_. "You want to help us out like a good little human, don't you?"

"Sir…" gulped the man, sweating nervously at the not-so-subtle threats, "I would love to help you, but my manager-"

"Might fire you, but you can always get another job at another restaurant." soothed Tyn with another malicious grin. "Learning how to walk again, however, is probably _much_ harder."

"Tyn, just what the hell are you doing?" growled Tia, arms folded across her chest. "I thought we had a discussion about how to behave in public."

"We're negotiating." he said as he removed his arm from the man's shoulders and moved over to try and explain things to the Shark Queen. Neither of them noticed as the terrified man waved over a few additional employees to back him up as Tyn and Tia argued amongst themselves.

"You wanted a nice dinner and I'm getting us a table!" snapped Tyn. "Just let me handle this and-"

"I don't want you threatening people with violence just to-"

"It wasn't a threat; it was a _promise_!"

"You can't go around acting like this, moron!" Tia practically shouted as she grabbed him by his shirt collar threateningly. "What's it going to take to get through to you?"

"How come I'm not allowed to threaten people, but you're allowed to threaten me?"

"Because you're an idiot!" roared Halibel angrily, making everyone in the area step back in anticipation of an explosion of violence. "Do I need to _beat_ this information into you?"

"I just wanted to make you happy…" Tyn offered. "Hiroki would have-"

"Don't you _dare_ mention that name ever again." seethed the blond. "_Ever_. I don't want you to do anything like he would have."

"…then what's the problem?" asked Tyn, sounding confused. "He wouldn't have been willing to break a few spines to get you the things you want, would he?"

"…God damn it." sighed Tia as she released her grip on him. "You have no idea how much I _hate_ it when you make a half-decent point."

"So can I go back to negotiating-"

"No."

"But-"

"No, Tyn. Let's just go somewhere else and this time, no threatening people."

"Dates suck."

* * *

Starrk and Keiko watched several of the waiters make their way back into the dining room after some sort of commotion up front and they looked at each other, wondering if there was some kind of emergency going on. There was no announcement made for patrons to exit the restaurant but everyone looked agitated and something had definitely been going on.

The _primera_ decided it was better to ask and be sure than to sit and know nothing, so he flagged a waiter over to their table.

"Hey, look, I don't mean to be nosy, but did something happen up front?" he asked cautiously. "I mean, if something's going on and you need people to leave…"

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about, Sir!" the waiter assured him. "We just had a minor problem with two would-be customers."

"Nothing too serious, I hope." Keiko said. "There are some real crazies in this town…I remember hearing about someone assaulting the mall Santa at Christmas for no apparent reason."

"Nothing too bad, Ma'am; some red-haired maniac and a scary blond lady were threatening people."

Starrk just facepalmed and groaned.

* * *

Lilynette savored the taste of her frozen treat, shivering with delight as she began to gobble the ice cream down quickly, ignoring the small ache in her skull as her brain tried to freeze. Ice cream, she decided, was a gift from the gods. And if that ice cream had hot fudge, so much the better.

She offered a chocolate-stained grin to Neliel and Anrak sitting on the other side of the table in the park, the duo sharing a sundae themselves.

Noise from people playing elsewhere in the park diverted her attention for a moment and she turned her head to watch a man teach his young son some extremely basic martial arts. Lilynette heard Nel comment to her husband on how cute the sight was, but all the young arrancar could think about was how Starrk had always been too lazy to teach her how to fight back in Hueco Mundo.

Sure, the _primera_ spent more time with her now, but it was all seeing movies and playing video games and going shopping; he had never taken the time to show her how to really defend herself.

In fact, that only one who had ever really taught her about combat was…

"Hey, what happened to that guy with the white hair?" Lilynette asked Neliel as she turned back around. "He was Captain of Squad…Squad…I don't remember, but he was a Captain."

"Hitsugaya?" offered Nel.

"No, not the kid. The guy."

"Captain Ukitake, you mean." said Anrak slowly. "Former Captain of Squad 13."

"Former?" echoed Lilynette. "What happened? Did he retire?"

"Not quite… Do you remember him getting hurt in the battle?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't _that_ bad, was it?

"He had a hand shoved straight through his chest; that's pretty bad." said Anrak. "And unfortunately, Captain Ukitake had already been ill for centuries…he never recovered from his wounds and…"

"He's…dead?" whispered Lilynette, paling slightly as she dropped her plastic spoon into the melting remains of her sundae. "But…he was…I mean, he wasn't _that_ bad for a Soul Reaper!"

"People die in war." Neliel reminded her gently. "It's an unfortunate truth and he knew the risks, like we all do."

"I was in Squad 11 under Captain Zaraki at the time…" Anrak continued. "Spent most of my time on missions away from the Seireitei so I never really knew Captain Ukitake. I returned in time for the war, aiding in the defense of the Seireitei and the second raid on Los Noches. A couple of months after Ukitake passed away, I was promoted over to lead his squad and I'm trying to do so in a way that he would have approved of."

"And I'm now the Lieutenant of Squad 13." added Neliel. "Why ask, Lilynette? What made you think of him?"

"When I fought him…_tried _to fight him, he actually gave me some pointers on what I was doing wrong. He wasn't really mean about it, either; I know he didn't want to fight me but at the same time, I think he liked trying to teach me." explained the girl. "Starrk never did that. He won't teach me to fight and I don't care if we're in the human world now, I still want to learn. I want to be strong enough to take care of myself without hiding behind him!"

"…and you were wondering if Captain Ukitake might be willing to help you." finished Anrak for her.

"Well, I mean…yeah, kinda. If you guys thought he could keep it a secret that we were all still alive, I mean."

"I think he would…" said Neliel with a soft smile. "From everything I've heard from Rukia, Renji, Captain Kyōraku, and everyone else that knew him, Ukitake was a very kind man."

"I wish he hadn't died…" Lilynette said. "He was pretty nice to me even though I was really trying to hurt him. I wanted to apologize and ask if he'd teach me."

"There's nothing to apologize for…" Anrak said. "Captain Ukitake wouldn't have taken it personally or held a grudge, and I'm sure he would have been glad to help you in his spare time."

Lilynette sighed and picked her spoon back up, stirring her melting sundae around a bit before taking another bite as Neliel and Anrak looked at each other for a second.

"Hurry up and finish your ice cream." Anrak said finally. "I think we still have one more place to go today…"


	35. Dating Difficulties II

**Dating Difficulties and Babysitting Lilynette II**

Home.

A simple word to refer to a person's place of residence. A man's home, they said, was his castle. A man should feel safe and secure from the outside world and all of it's frustrating little annoyances while inside his home. It was supposed to be a private sanctuary where no one unwanted could see you and judge you.

"Someone should tell that crazy shinigami bitch that…" muttered Grimmjow to himself as he took one last look out the window conspiratorially before drawing the curtains to a close.

He wasn't exactly sure why Yoruichi Shihōin had apparently taken it upon herself to spy on him nor was he sure how she was doing it; all Grimmjow was sure of was that it was an invasion of his privacy and he'd been embarrassed beyond words by the information about him that she'd so casually shared with all of Burger World.

It was time for the evening ritual of feeding the neighborhood cats and rather than sit on the windowsill and watch them tonight, he had draped heavy, dark curtains over the windows and allowed the strays into his apartment for a short while to eat.

Grimmjow sat in a beat-up kitchen chair he'd salvaged from a dumpster, smirking at his ingenuity as he watched the cats lap at the milk and greedily eat the mix of cat food and tuna he'd put down for them; there was absolutely _no_ way Yoruichi could see him now, not with those curtains up and the cats inside the apartment with him.

It didn't take long for the hungry animals to finish their meal and empty out the small saucer of milk, at which point they began to wander about the apartment aimlessly and make themselves comfortable. The _sexta_ frowned as he stood up; he couldn't keep all of them and he didn't want them making a mess of his home or peeing on the already-dirty couch. He ushered them all back to the window, lifting the heavy curtain and shooing them outside one by one. He counted as they departed and quickly realized that the always-immaculate black cat was missing, presumably still hiding in the apartment somewhere.

Grimmjow growled to himself in frustration as he shut the window and locked it down, resigning himself to the task of searching the apartment for the missing black cat and shooing it outside to join the others. Why was nothing ever simple? Why did nothing ever go according to plan?

"Why is this place such a disaster?" asked a voice from the kitchen and Grimmjow froze, recognizing the feminine voice instantly. He turned around to face the intruder, twitching in irritation as he fought against the rising urge to kill.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" he demanded. "How did you get in? I watched the window like a hawk and there's no fucking _way_ you could have snuck in!"

"A good spy never reveals her secrets; even you should know that, Grimmjow." chided Yoruichi, clucking her tongue at him as she began to browse through his refrigerator.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he snarled.

"What does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're raiding my kitchen!"

"See? I knew you'd figure it out… Is this seriously all the milk you have? You really need to go shopping." she asked, turning the carton up to her lips and beginning to drink.

"Put that back, wench!"

"It's empty now but hey, it is _your_ apartment so whatever you say…" shrugged Yoruichi, putting the empty carton back in the fridge as Grimmjow stood in the living room visibly fuming.

"Get the hell out of my apartment!" he roared in frustration.

"Are you this rude to _all_ of your guests?" teased Yoruichi, ignoring him as she turned to search through his cabinets. "No wonder you never get any visitors…"

"And put some goddamn clothes on!"

* * *

Lilynette bit her lip nervously, stealing a quick glance off to the side of the room at Neliel who was gently urging her on. When Anrak had said they had another stop to make, this was the absolute last place Lilynette had expected to end up at and an unwelcome sense of fear and dread had settled into her stomach.

She was alone with two shinigami, without Starrk there to protect her.

"Well, come on…" Anrak invited her. "Show me what you've got."

They were in the underground training facility at the Urahara Shop, free of their gigai, and the dark-haired Soul Reaper captain stood across from her, his sleeveless white haori gently fluttering out around him from the breeze generated by countless small fans hidden throughout the room. His zanpaktou was free of it's sheath and held out in a defensive stance, waiting for the nervous young arrancar to make the first move.

Lilynette gripped the hilt of her own blade tightly, considering her options quickly; she'd wanted to train and get stronger, true, and she'd wanted someone to teach her, but without Starrk nearby, she felt afraid and vulnerable. She was no match for a captain-class shinigami! Sure, she'd attacked Captain Ukitake during the war but that had been different since Starrk had been nearby just in case; if anything had gone wrong, he could have easily swooped in and saved her.

But here and now, Starrk was nowhere to be found.

"It's okay…" Neliel smiled softly. "You'll be fine. Trust us, Lilynette."

She trusted Nel entirely, knowing in the void where her heart _should_ be that the kind woman would never allow her to be harmed…still, it was slightly unsettling to see that Neliel now wore the standard black shihakushō of a shinigami instead of an arrancar's whites, a Gotei 13 lieutenant's badge proudly tied to her arm with a white band. The only things familiar about her new look were the sight of the skull-like mask perched on top of her head and of _Gamuza_ on her left hip, now held in place by a green silk sash tied around her waist.

Still, she knew deep down that it was the same Neliel she'd always trusted and admired, and if Nel said it was okay…

Lilynette looked back at Anrak, hesitating for a second more before she threw caution to the wind and charged at him, giving a battle cry as she hefted her small zanpaktou over her masked head.

Her strike was easily avoided as the shinigami side-stepped the descending blade, but Lilynette quickly flipped the blade over and slashed sideways and was rewarded with the solid 'clang' of metal against metal. Encouraged by the sound of her blade meeting his, she launched herself at him again with a thrust for his gut.

The shinigami deftly side-stepped it again and easily rolled past her, placing a hand on her back as he did so and giving her a playful shove.

"You've got good speed and power for your size and experience…" he commented. "But you have no real technique; your attacks are wild and your movements stiff and jerky, not nearly as fluid as they should be. We can fix that, though."

Spurred by his observations, Lilynette roared and attacked him again, bringing her blade up and then back down diagonally as she went for his shoulder only to have the shinigami effortlessly bat her swing away with just his hand, the blade effectively bouncing off the leather tekkou armguards he wore.

"I think I've got a good grasp of what you're capable of offensively…let's test your defenses." he said.

Lilynette yelped in surprise as Anrak quickly swung his blade at her and froze in her place, shutting her eyes fearfully as she waited for her head to be severed.

Nothing happened.

Confused, Lilynette opened her eyes again to find that the blade had stopped well-short of actually touching her as Anrak shook his head at her.

"I'm not going to hurt you." he reminded her. "Throw away your fear and relax; you're not going to make any progress if you let terror control you."

"And hesitation like that in a _real_ battle would get you killed." Nel added from the side. "Calm down and stay focused, Lilynette; I _know _you can do this."

The Soul Reaper withdrew his blade and stepped back as Lilynette nervously readied herself for another exchange.

"You're holding it incorrectly…" Anrak pointed out softly. "Look at your grip versus mine; move your right hand down just slightly and put your left here, on the end of the hilt."

Neliel came up beside Lilynette, helping the younger girl move her hands into the right positions as Anrak continued, showing her the greater flexibility the new grip offered.

"See how I can move my wrists more easily?" he asked her. "You'll get a much greater range of motion this way and your control of the blade increases tenfold."

"Okay, I think I've got it…" said Lilynette slowly, mimicking his motions as Nel stepped back off to the side. "Hey, it really _is_ easier to move this way! I bet I can-_yikes!_!"

Lilynette yelped again as she jumped backwards from the swing of Anrak's zanpaktou.

"No fair, I wasn't ready yet!" she huffed, with Neliel sitting off to the side giggling at the younger girl's indignation.

"Which is another important lesson…" he told her. "Always keep your mind on the battle at hand; never lose focus of the enemy in front of you."

"I know that!" she said defensively as she finally got her zanpaktou up to block a second swing.

"Just making sure." he said with a teasing grin as he slashed at her again, forcing Lilynette to take a step back to brace herself as she blocked it.

"Ha!" she exclaimed proudly as she knocked his blade away. "I can do this!"

"Good!" he congratulated her. "Does that mean you're ready to turn it up a notch and do a little sparring?"

"Bring it!"

* * *

"This isn't what I had in mind when I said I wanted you to take me out to dinner."

Tyn dropped his shoulders slightly as Tia's words, looking away in embarassment for a moment as he poked at the bleeding piece of meat on his plate. He'd already known this wasn't what she wanted, of course, had known that well before they had even arrived at the restaurant or been seated. He'd known and he had wanted to do so much better for her…

Damn humans and their stupid need for reservations!

The two arrancar sat in a dingy little booth in a low-budget and overcrowded family restaurant on the far side of Karakura, well away from their apartment and all the nice places that Halibel would have preferred to go, trying to block out the bad music and obnoxiously-loud patrons all around them. It was an uncomfortable and noisy Hell, but at least it hadn't required any reservations and the two had been able to get seats almost immediately.

The food was greasy and not very well-prepared, a testament to it's cheap price. Tyn stole another glance at his roommate before finally eating another piece of his rare and bloody sirloin, watching as Tia used her fork to spear another piece of her meticulously-cut fish fillet and ponder if it was even worth eating. All around them were other booths and tables filled with noisy people, some were families with screaming children, some were groups of friends out for a cheap meal, and there were a few couples who were apparently stuck in the same unfortunate situation as Tyn and Tia.

"I'm sorry…" he told her finally. "I screwed up."

"I probably should have told you ahead of time where I wanted to eat and had you call and make reservations." sighed the blond. "We both screwed up."

"I'll make it up to you somehow." he promised as Halibel decided against eating another piece of the greasy fish and used a napkin to remove the disgusting piece of food from her fork.

"Oh, I'll think of something; don't worry." she said coolly as she reached across the table and impaled a piece of his steak on her fork, stealing it away and popping it into her mouth before he could protest.

"I thought you said you preferred for your food to be cooked…" he said, scowling.

"Enough to be warm." she corrected him before chewing. "Shark Queen, remember?"

"Sharks don't eat beef."

"Throw a cow into the ocean and watch what happens." she countered as she swallowed the piece of steak. "The sirloin isn't bad…not as bad as the fish here, anyway. I should have ordered sirloin."

She reached her fork across the table again only to have Tyn parry with his own utensil.

"I said I was sorry; I never said you could have my food." he growled.

"I wasn't asking, idiot." she replied, undeterred as she reached over again.

"Woman, I will fork you up if you don't leave my food alone." Tyn warned.

"Fork me now and I can promise you there won't be any 'forking' for a long time." Tia said as she stabbed at his hand just hard enough to make the _quinto_ withdraw for a second, allowing her to steal another piece of steak. Tyn growled again before he began to gobble the remaining chunks of sirloin down quickly, attempting to keep his companion from getting anymore.

Halibel was not one to be denied, though, as she took her fork and quickly speared three pieces at once, swiping them away from the redhead's grasp and devouring them before he could stop her.

A single, succulent piece of steak remained on Tyn's plate, nice and juicy, waiting to be eaten. Both arrancar eyed it for a second before they reached for it simultaneously, but Tyn was far faster as he dropped his fork and grabbed the piece of meat with his hand, slapping it into his mouth quickly.

"Ha!" he declared triumphantly, his mouth so full of the rare piece of meat that blood could be seen trickling down from his lips.

Tia reached across the table and grabbed his shirt suddenly, pulling him forward and giving him a deep, savage kiss that left the raptor utterly confused and dumbfounded. She released Tyn, finally allowing him to slump back in his seat breathlessly.

"Wow…" he panted, "What was that for?"

He paused for a moment, realizing that the last morsel of his precious sirloin had vanished from it's supposedly-secure location inside his mouth.

"You evil little bitch…" he said in disbelief.

Across the table, Tia gave him a devious little smirk as she swallowed her ill-gotten steak and proceeded to neatly dab at the blood on her lips with a fresh napkin.

"I don't believe this…" Tyn groaned miserably. "Are you _trying_ to starve me here?"

"Don't be such a baby about it." Halibel chided as she handed him her own plate. "You can have the rest of my fish."

"I hate you."

"Liar."

* * *

"It's a nice place; I think you'll like it in here."

Starrk answered Keiko with a nervous grin as they stood outside of The Oasis, trying to think of a polite way to refuse that wouldn't upset his date; he knew that Tyn and Tia were out tonight and it was a pretty safe assumption that at some point they would end up at a bar, and since Tia got an employee discount at The Oasis…

Images of the various ways the other two arrancar could possibly embarrass him ran through Starrk's skull, each leaving him in the undesirable position of trying to explain things to Keiko in a way that didn't harm her view of the _primera_. It wasn't that Tyn and Tia would set out to deliberately embarrass him in front of his date, he knew that, but he wasn't keen on the idea of having Keiko present for one of their infamously vocal and violent arguments.

No, stopping here for a couple of drinks before catching the movie wouldn't be the best idea…better to go somewhere else, somewhere where the likelihood of encountering the other two Espada was next to nil.

"It's a nice evening…why don't we take a walk through the park instead, maybe save the drinks for after the movie?" he offered, hoping to have a new plan by then that would involve anything _but_ The Oasis.

Keiko smiled, blushing as she brushed back a long strand of her dark hair from her face.

"That actually sounds very romantic." she agreed, stepping away from the door and allow Starrk to lead her away from The Oasis and away from downtown in general.

The evening hours at the park were relatively peaceful: most of the children had gone home for the night, as had all the joggers and the people playing with their dogs, leaving only a handful of people to enjoy the relative solitude. They followed the winding concrete path past a deserted play area for small kids and an empty soccer field where Lilynette spent a lot of time with her friends after school. He smiled at the memory of Lilynette first making friends with Karin and some of the other kids; if nothing else ever came from the decision to stay in the world of the living, at least Lilynette had people her own relative 'age' to play with.

A hollow cry echoed out through the night, originating from somewhere deeper into the city and bringing with it memories from Hueco Mundo that were best left forgotten. Starrk forced himself to remain impassive as the cry wailed on, playing the role of a normal human who was blissfully ignorant of the darker side of life and death.

Keiko, on the other hand, stiffened ever so slightly.

"Did you hear that?" she asked, tightening her grip on his arm. "I thought I heard something…"

Starrk wondered for a moment if their time together, as well as her time with Lilynette in school, was beginning to affect her but quickly discarded the notion; after all, their gigai was designed to mask their _reiatsu_ from the outside world both in order to conceal their existence from the shinigami and to avoid affecting the people around them.

Perhaps she was one of the few with a minor level of spiritual awareness regardless. Perhaps it was a fluke.

"I didn't hear anything…" he lied. "What did it sound like?"

"It sounded like…like…" Keiko tried to explain, stumbling for words. "I don't know _what _it sounded like other than…not human. An animal, maybe."

"Well, whatever it was, don't worry about it." he told her. "You're safe with me."

"Are you sure?" she asked nervously.

Starrk gave her a reassuring smile as he unconsciously flexed his left hand, the same hand that, in his spirit form, had a tattoo of the number one boldly inked into the flesh.

"Positive."

* * *

Yoruichi lay on the couch, lazily stretched out with her torso propped up by a small pile of throw pillows as she flipped through the channels on Grimmjow's busted old television. She adjusted the loose collar on the jersey he'd given her to wear, ignoring the fact that the gray sweat pants she was borrowing were too large and loose for her.

"I knew you had it in you to be nice…" she commented, craning her neck to peer over the back of the couch at Grimmjow, who was still searching the apartment for the 'missing' cat. "Giving me nice clothes to wear…such a gentleman!"

"They're a _loan_." the arrancar pointed out bitterly. "That's _my_ jersey, woman! _Mine_!"

"Maybe not such a gentleman after all…"

"Do you always break into people's homes naked?"

"Only on Fridays." teased the woman with a grin. "Saturday is lingerie night."

"You're out of your fucking mind, woman."

"That's rich, coming from you…" said Yoruichi, shaking her head as she went back to channel-surfing. "Don't you have any movie channels here?"

"Don't you have somewhere else to go?" he shot back sarcastically.

"So touchy…" she mused, eyeing a stack of DVDs sitting beside the television. "What about just plain _movies_ if you don't have any movie channels…have anything good?"

"Of course I do!" declared Grimmjow. "I have great taste in movies!"

"Mm, I'll bet…" said the ex-shinigami as she pushed herself up from the couch and walked over to peruse the stack of DVDs. She couldn't find herself to feel terribly surprised that every single movie she found was an action film, filled with more explosions and profanity than quality acting.

"Why am I not surprised?" she smirked as she continued browsing through the collection. "Let's make a deal, Grimmjow; I pick one of these movies to watch and you order us a pizza."

"No deal, get out." snapped Grimmjow as he went into his bedroom and got down on the floor, peering under his bed.

"Find that missing cat yet?" asked a bemused Yoruichi as she made her way back over to the couch.

"I don't fucking get it…" complained an exasperated Grimmjow as he stood back up. "I _know_ it came in to eat and now it's just gone… It makes no fucking sense!"

"I managed to sneak in without being seen at the same time the cat seems to have vanished without a trace…any ideas, Sherlock?" prodded the woman.

"It ran out the door when you snuck in!" he exclaimed, as if everything suddenly made perfect sense. "It's wandering the halls!"

Grimmjow opened the apartment door and darted out into the hall, intent on finding the missing cat as Yoruichi flopped back down on the couch, sighing as she facepalmed.

"Why are the cute ones always stupid?"

* * *

Lilynette hopped backwards to avoid the swinging blade, wiping sweat from her brow with the back of her hand quickly before gripping her zanpaktou tightly once more. Her muscles burned and her body ached, partially from sheer exhaustion and partially from a few bruises she'd earned through the course of her training.

"Don't overdo it…" Neliel scolded her softly. "If you're tired, we can take a break."

Nel had switched places with Anrak an hour earlier and while Lilynette had thought at the time that the former-_Tres_ Espada would go easier on her, she had quickly found out just how wrong that assumption was. She'd whined about it at first, as most anyone would, but Nel's words had silenced Lilynette quickly and made the young arrancar feel ashamed for complaining.

_I'm pushing you harder because I know you, Lilynette. I'm holding you to a higher standard because I know you can do it._

It meant the world to know that Nel had such faith in her and Lilynette was sure that choosing to take a break now would probably disappoint the ex-Espada.

"No way!" she panted, forcing a grin that looked more confident than she actually felt, "I'm just getting started!"

"Are you sure?" asked Neliel. "You look pretty worn out."

"_You_ can take a break if you want; I know how you old people need your beauty rest." taunted Lilynette, sticking her tongue out.

"_Old_?" exclaimed Nel, her expression half-suggesting that she wanted to laugh. "That's big talk coming from a little kid!"

"Bring it, grandma!" teased Lilynette as Nel attacked her again, laughing it off.

Anrak sat off to the side in a low crouch, smiling softly as he listened to the two arrancar take almost-sisterly jabs at each other, his deep blue eyes trained on the battle as he meticulously dissected every exchange in his head. Lilynette had become more accustomed to holding a sword properly and had made a lot of progress already in that regard, but she was in dire need of strength training; several times already she had been disarmed by Nel, the blade simply knocked out of her hands by the lieutenant's greater physical strength.

Lilynette took a step to the side as she blocked one of Nel's strikes, only to stumble and fall backwards onto her rear end, emphasizing another area of focus the girl needed to work on.

The sparring match paused for a moment as Neliel offered the girl a hand, pulling her back up to her feet as Anrak walked over to them.

"Footwork is important." explained the captain as he neared. "Every bit as important as knowing how to swing a sword. Your stances are too shallow, giving you an unsteady base to try and stand on. Always be mindful of where you step and _how_ you step."

He drew his zanpaktou from it's scabbard and gestured for Nel to come at him. The former-Espada-turned-Shinigami obliged and attacked him, keeping her movements slow and deliberate so Lilynette could see everything clearly. Matching her speed, Anrak took a step back and blocked her swing, then carefully sidestepped to avoid Nel's follow-up move.

"See where my feet are?" he asked Lilynette as he blocked a few more strikes from Nel, making sure to move with each blow. "Keeping my feet shoulder-width apart gives me a much sturdier base and makes it harder for her to knock me down. Every time you take a step, either offensively or defensively, you need to make sure your feet are planted firmly on the ground, shoulder-width apart; no larger, no smaller."

"I think I got it…" said Lilynette, sliding back into position across from Nel as Anrak stepped away and returned _Kage Shitsukoi_ into her scabbard.

"Good… Fifteen more minutes and then I want you to take a break." Anrak added as he went back to his spot off to the side to observe.

"I don't need a break!" Lilynette protested despite how haggard she looked. "I'm just fine!"

"It's not open for debate." stated Anrak in a commanding tone. "You're not doing yourself any favors by pushing yourself this hard on your first day of training."

Lilynette opened her mouth to protest the captain's declaration again, only to have Neliel playfully thwack her in the rear with the flat of her blade.

"Hey!" shouted Lilynette, jumping in surprise. "What was _that_ for?"

"_That _was for calling me old." said Nel, sticking her tongue out.

"I'll kick _your_ butt for that!"

* * *

Streetlamps flickered as the two arrancar made their way down the nearly-empty sidewalk looking for something else to entertain them for the evening, a way to close out their first actual 'date' of sorts. Dinner had largely been a miserable experience; a cheap, overcrowded restaurant with sub-par food that both swore they'd never return to in a hundred years. Add to that the fact that Halibel had been so displeased with her own food that she saw fit to steal most of Tyn's steak…

Of course, rather than eating the greasy leftover remains of her fish dinner to make up for his own lost meal, Tyn had quickly snatched a plate away from a neighboring table when the occupants weren't looking…

Sure, the man had been upset when he looked back at the table and noticed his fresh sirloin was gone and he'd _definitely_ noticed Tyn munching on it, holding the steak with his bare hands as he bit into it and tore off large chunks of meat. Still, he hadn't bothered to say anything to the _quinto_, perhaps wisely sensing the danger the redhead represented or perhaps he had kept his silence out of sheer cowardice.

And it had been medium-well…who the hell ordered steak medium-well? It was too dry! Where was the blood, where was the flavor? It was a travesty of justice!

The raptor made a mental note that next time, wherever they ended up eating, he was going to ask the waiter to just bring him something that was still moving.

"So where are you taking me now?" asked Tia as she walked beside him. "What's next for this oh-so-_romantic_ evening?"

"Sarcastic bitch…" growled Tyn. "I was thinking we could go grab a few drinks."

"I work in a bar every weekday and you think I want to go spend _any_ of my actual weekend there if I'm not getting paid for it? You really _are_ stupid, aren't you?"

"Not _that_ bar; someplace else, someplace where your stupid human friends don't work."

"They're not stupid!" snapped Tia in irritation. "Stop verbally assaulting them at every opportunity!"

"Get that one waitress off my back and I'll consider it." spat Tyn. "Look, we'll just get a couple of drinks to wash this goddamned awful steak down and if you don't like the place, then we'll leave and find someplace where _I'll_ be miserable instead. Happy?"

"Overjoyed."

"The things I put up with for… There. There's where we're going." said Tyn, pointing at a small bar that looked old and rundown.

"Lovely…" said Tia dryly as she followed him to the door and inside, both of them taking a seat at the dirty-looking counter. The barkeep was a gruff, older man who didn't even greet the two new customers and slid them a couple of half-filled mugs without even asking what they wanted.

"Charming place…" said Tia, wrinkling her nose as the heavy scent of smoke assaulted her nostrils and loud classic rock filled her ears.

"Maybe not the best of choices…" Tyn agreed as he turned up his mug and emptied it. "But there's not as many people here as The Oasis, at least."

"Except everyone here looks like an ex-con…" said Tia, taking a sip of her beer. "Let's just go to The Oasis if you want beer; I get employee discount, remember?"

"Sachi working tonight?"

"Yes, but-"

"No deal." Tyn said firmly as he motioned the bartender for a refill. "She annoys me to no end."

Tia sighed in frustration as the unfriendly-bartender snatched Tyn's mug away to refill it, neither arrancar paying any attention to the sound of new customers arriving. Both ignored the sound of heavy boots plodding against the wooden floor, unconcerned with how the sound grew louder and closer with each step and ended only when it was directly behind them.

"You're in our seats…" growled a deep voice behind them.

Great, just what they didn't need; an excuse for Tyn to get into a fight.

"Sucks to be you, doesn't it?" asked Tyn without even turning around.

"It's about to suck to be _you_ in a minute, you little shit." threatened the voice and Tyn finally turned to face it's owner, a decidedly cruel-looking man flanked by three cronies, one of which _may_ have been female; Tyn wasn't entirely sure and neither did he particularly care.

"That right?" asked the _quinto_, a dark grin spreading across his face. "What are you going to do-"

"Tyn…no" sighed Tia, almost pleadingly. "Let's _not_ do this tonight, okay? Let's just leave."

"Stop killing my fun." he said sourly.

"Just do it. For me." she said as she stood up, pulling him along with her.

"You better run, you little punk!" laughed the man's crew, forcing Tyn to bite his lip and fight against all of his base instincts to turn around and kill something as he allowed Halibel to lead him towards the door.

"No one said _you_ had to go, sweetheart!" called the leader to Tia, a loud 'smack' resonating through the room as he slapped her on the rear.

Tia froze in her tracks, releasing her tight grip on Tyn's arm as the drunken laughter of the bar patrons grew louder. Tyn whirled around in rage and began to advance on the foolish human that had dared touch his Queen only to be stopped by Tia herself.

"No…" she said quietly. "He's _mine_."

* * *

Grimmjow was not happy.

He'd stormed up and down the hallways and searched every square inch of the stairwell, but the missing cat was still nowhere to be found. He'd knocked on every door in the hall and asked every single idiot on his floor if they'd seen the black cat without anything to show for his efforts other than a pounding headache from talking with that crazy old bat across the hall.

It was days like _this_ that made him really hate the 'no killing' rule the Espada had all agreed to.

He opened the door to his own apartment and stepped back inside, slamming it shut behind him with enough force that everyone else in the building could probably hear it.

"Tell me you found the damn cat…" he began, addressing Yoruichi as he turned to face the couch.

But the ex-shinigami was gone, having vanished without so much as a word and leaving nothing in her wake but the clothes Grimmjow had loaned her, all neatly folded-up on the couch.

"For fuck's sake, have you no shame woman?" he roared. "I don't know where you're hiding, but put some goddamned clothes on and _keep_ them on!"

Something that resembled a laugh could be heard coming from his bedroom and Grimmjow grit his teeth angrily as he stormed towards the noise. If that stupid woman was mocking him…

"Meow?"

The black cat was sitting on the middle of his bed.

There was no sign of dirt or filth on it's fur to indicate that it had been hiding, not even a hair appeared to be out of place; the black fur was as immaculately-clean as ever and the creature wore an almost-human expression on it's face as if it were waiting for him to say something.

"Where the hell have you been hiding, you stupid furball?" growled Grimmjow as he approached.

The cat hung it's head and looked as if it were disappointed…perhaps disappointed because Grimmjow had been unable to find it. What, did it think this was all a stupid game?

"You've been a lot of trouble tonight…" continued Grimmjow as he picked the animal up and took it back to the living room window. "You and that damn woman…and where the hell did _she_ run off to? Fucking hell, I find her and lose you and then I find you and lose her!"

Grimmjow's own cat, the white-furred Lord Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez the Second, Esquire, climbed up on the back of the couch and meowed, gesturing towards the black cat with it's paws as if he were trying to tell the Espada something.

"Hush." said Grimmjow as he carried the black cat over to the window. "It's not staying here, Junior. And as soon as furball here leaves, we're going to go find that crazy nudist before she gets herself arrested."

The _sexta_ opened the window and gently sat the small animal down on the rusting fire escape before shutting the window tight and locking it once more before replacing the drapes.

Outside, the black cat just sighed and covered it's face with a small paw.

"Idiot."

* * *

"Why?"

Neliel raised her head up, looking at the smaller girl laying across from her curiously. She pulled herself up into a sitting position for a better view, but Lilynette simply stayed put, sprawled out on her back and staring up at the artificial blue sky as she repeated the question.

"Why did you become a Soul Reaper?" asked Lilynette. "I mean, you could have gone back to Hueco Mundo or maybe live in a gigai like we've been doing."

"The more time I spent with them, the more I saw what they were really like…" Nel said, leaning back on her hands. "I felt like we had the same ideals; the strong should protect the weak, that mindless slaughter was wrong… Everyone wants a place to belong and I don't think I ever really belonged in Hueco Mundo; I never wanted to eat souls or hurt people back then, but I didn't exactly have a choice, either… By bringing me to the Seireitei, Ichigo and the others finally gave me the choice I'd been missing. I actually _feel_ like I belong in the Soul Society."

"I don't really wanna eat souls or hurt people, either." said Lilynette.

"I know you don't." smiled Nel. "You're better than that."

"Is it nice there? In the Soul Society, I mean."

"It's_ gorgeous_, Lilynette; it's like late spring or early summer for most of the year there. The air is clean, the sky is bright and vibrant, it almost never storms and winters aren't nearly as bad there as they are here… You'd love it."

"Don't people there treat you bad 'cause you're not really one of them?" asked Lilynette as she sat up. "I mean, you can't hide your mask and soul reapers and hollows have been fighting each other for like, _ever_."

"A lot of people avoided me at first." Nel admitted. "Some even called me a monster."

"Idiots." said Anrak gruffly from his spot in the shade, sitting with his back against a large rock and _Kage Shitsukoi_ laying beside him. "I considered trying to beat some sense into a few of them."

"An, _you_ tried to kill me the first time you saw me." Neliel reminded him with a wry smile.

"That was an honest mistake." he said, flushing with embarassment. "Besides, I apologized."

"After I knocked you through a wall, yes…" teased Nel as Lilynette giggled. "But anyway, yes, a lot of people _did_ treat me poorly at first. As time went on, most of them learned to accept me."

"Only cause you're a lieutenant, I bet." said Lilynette. "Or because you're married to a captain."

"There's probably still a few people who only accept me because of those reasons…" Nel agreed. "But I think most accept me now because they know I'm not their enemy."

"Of course, there's always going to be some prejudice, same as it is here in the world of the living." Anrak pointed out. "Even if you weren't an arrancar, there are people that would still look down on you."

"Some just because I'm a woman, some because they don't like the color of my hair…" Nel said, shaking her head. "I'll never understand that kind of senseless hate. And then there's people like Captain Kuchiki, who doesn't like you just because you're a 'commoner.'"

"I'd rather be a humble peasant than a snobbish noble, anyway." shrugged Anrak before looking over at his zanpaktou. "And no, Kagi, I don't care _how_ sure you are that you can beat _Senbonzakura_, we are _not_ going to go pick a fight."

"Usually he has the grace to internalize his conversations with her so I don't think he's going crazy talking to imaginary voices…" Nel whispered to Lilynette conspiratorially.

"Says the woman who holds intensely philosophical conversations with her pet lizard…" Anrak fired back.

"Chompy understands everything just perfectly!"

"If you say so, _koibito_; if you say so." said Anrak, sticking his tongue out at her teasingly.

"Could I be a shinigami, too, if I wanted?" asked Lilynette, interrupting the two adults from teasing each other.

Nel and Anrak looked at each other for a moment before answering, with Neliel biting her lip as she contemplated what to say.

"The Soul Society doesn't know you and the others are still alive…" she reminded the girl slowly.

"Besides, there's plenty of jobs in the world of the living you might like…" offered Anrak. "You have a lot of opportunities open to you-"

"And they all _suck_!" exclaimed Lilynette. "I don't wanna be a teacher or a doctor or a cop or a hobo or a lawyer or anything!"

"Hobo isn't really a job…" Anrak pointed out.

"You guys like being shinigami, don't you?" insisted Lilynette.

"I love it." agreed Nel, already knowing what the younger girl was getting at.

"Then why can't _I_ be one, too?"

"Lilynette, it's not that simple-"

"Why not? Am I not good enough?" asked the arrancar. "I want to be just like you someday, Nel!"

"And you will be like her one day…" said Anrak softly, putting a hand on her small shoulder. "But right now you're still young, still a kid; your wants and desires are still changing. _You're_ still changing."

"But I don't want some stupid human job! That's not gonna change!" said Lilynette. "I won't do it! I _can't_ do it!"

"You say that now, but in a year or two you might feel differently…" reasoned the captain. "But let's make a deal, right here and now; if you still feel this way in five years, Nel and I will see what we can do to help you."

"An!" cried Neliel in horror. "If the Head-Captain finds out that Lilynette and the others survived…"

"We'll think of something." he said confidently. "I didn't like being told that I could never do this or that, that I could never be something I wanted, and I'm not going to do that to her. We'll find some way to get her into the academy if that's what she really wants."

"But five years is a long time!" protested Lilynette.

"Five years gives you time to grow and change your mind." Anrak countered. "In five years, you'll be eighteen by human standards; your friends will have decided on careers and will be going to college to work towards those goals. If you still want to be a shinigami, we'll see about getting you enrolled into the Soul Academy."

"Can I be in your squad then?" Lilynette asked Nel excitedly. "That'd be cool! We could hang out all day, Nel!"

"I don't think that's a good idea…" Neliel said slowly.

"Why do you keep shutting me down?" asked Lilynette, looking hurt and utterly betrayed. "I thought you liked me! I thought we were friends!"

"She's doing it because she _loves_ you, Lilynette…" Anrak said quietly. "She's trying to protect you."

"How is it protecting me by not letting me in your squad?" she demanded, trying not to cry in front of the adults. "That's stupid!"

"Because people will think you only made it into a squad because of me." Nel said softly. "They'll think that no other squad wanted you and that I was playing favorites. Your peers would never take you seriously and you'd have a much more difficult time than I ever did."

"But if we let you stand on your own merits, another squad _will_ pick you up when you graduate." Anrak assured her. "You've got a lot of potential and if you keep training…well, that's five years plus four at the academy. You'll be absolutely amazing in nine years if you keep it up and you'll probably have your pick of squads."

"And if you still want to be with us, join another squad first and then request a transfer a few months down the road." Nel added softly. "That will look a lot better than if we just draft you in to start with."

"You promise?" Lilynette asked, wiping away at a tear that had been threatening to roll down her cheek.

"We promise." Nel nodded.

"Then I need to keep working so I'll be so badass that _all_ the squads want me!"

"That sounded like a challenge to me…" sniffed Neliel as she got to her feet and drew _Gamuza_ from it's scabbard. Lilynette just grinned as she hopped up and grabbed her own zanpaktou.

"Come and get it, grandma!"

* * *

Starrk concluded that so-called "romantic comedies" were neither romantic or comedic and were, in fact, abominations to be destroyed.

Keiko had enjoyed it, as had every other female in the theater, but Starrk had not failed to notice that every other male present looked just as miserable as he felt. Perhaps that was the entire point of such terrible films, he mused; to break the male spirit and make him more submissive to his female partner.

Starrk frowned and shook his head, trying to clear out the clutter; the urge to declare war on a particular movie genre had been too Grimmjow-esque for his liking and the thought of such films being used to psychologically break people sounded entirely too much like an uncomfortable piece of Ulquiorra's nihilistic wisdom.

He was glad to finally be leaving that damnedable theater at least and found himself looking forward to the prospect of a drink or two to try and put him at ease once more. He considered going to The Oasis like Keiko had wanted earlier in the evening but decided against it as he didn't want to risk running into Tyn and Tia tonight; there were easily a dozen other bars in Karakura, each of them a bar that Halibel didn't work at and each of them would probably _not_ be on her list of places to drag her would-be mate.

He'd even made it a point to take Keiko to the opposite side of town, far removed from The Oasis and any other place the others might visit as an extra precaution.

Starrk spied a rustic-looking establishment further down the street and squeezed Keiko's hand as he gestured towards it with his head. A light smile and a simple nod was her consent and together they walked towards the out-of-the-way bar tucked away at the end of the street.

"This place looks kind of aged and worn, doesn't it?" Keiko asked as they approached the door.

"It's better that way." Starrk said as he opened the door for her. "Gives the place real atmosphere, you know?"

Keiko smiled at his wisdom and entered with the _primera_ following right behind…

…and they were just in time to see a blond woman pick up a tattooed man that was easily twice her size and chuck him over the bar, sending him crashing into the wall and the shelves filled with various liquor bottles and beer steins.

Starrk just backed out the door and gently pulled Keiko along with him as everything went to hell.

* * *

The small crowd inside the bar had been momentarily stunned by Tia's attack, none of them quite believing the display of strength they had just seen; the biggest, meanest-looking man in the bar, someone who probably had a reputation here for being bad, just got tossed like a rag doll by a woman half his size. The stupefied, slack-jawed expressions on everyone's faces spoke volumes about how they felt but for himself, Tyn decided that Halibel's fury was a thing of beauty…so long as it wasn't directed his way, at least.

The _quinto_ didn't wait for the bar patrons to recover from Tia's explosively-violent outburst before he grabbed one of the downed man's companions and punched him across the jaw with a thunderous right, sending him careening across the room and down through a small table. Someone else in the bar gave a drunken battle cry and everyone went to war, with most focusing on the two arrancar.

Tyn ducked as a chair came flying at his head and grabbed another member of the four-man posse in a headlock, casting a quick glance back over at Halibel to see how she was faring, but the blond had grabbed that last member of the crew, the one that Tyn thought _might_ have been a woman, and was busy slamming her face into the bar repeatedly.

"She's great, isn't she?" Tyn asked his captive before punching him in the face. "Rhetorical question; of _course_ she is, even if she will end up blaming this all on me."

The captive man was too busy struggling to get out of the headlock to answer, however, and a few more punches from Tyn left him hanging limply, unconscious. A broken beer bottle held by it's neck was thrust towards the raptor's face, but Tyn easily turned and watched the jagged piece of glass sail by his nose harmlessly before completing his spin and smashing a hard palm-heel into his attack's chest. He felt three ribs snap under the impact but showing mercy was out of the question as Tyn went ahead and continued upward with his strike, hefting the man up into the air before slamming him back down to the floor roughly.

Back over at the bar, the possible-woman was slumped over the counter, out cold and missing a few teeth from Tia's assault. As for the _tercera_ herself, Halibel had found a new dance partner, a man in a leather jacket who was attempting to use martial arts to subdue her, but a black belt meant nothing to a member of the Espada; Tia jerked her head out of the way and stepped forward as her attacker threw a front kick at her face, catching his ankle on her shoulder. Wordlessly, Tia reached forward out and grabbed his knee, pulling it back and down against it's natural range of motion.

Tyn could hear the loud 'snap' of bone from the other side of the room where he was busy dodging wild swings from a cue stick, courtesy of a short, angry man who saw fit to blame the arrancar for his inability to sink a single ball.

Tyn smirked arrogantly as he stepped back to avoid a chest-level swing and ducked to avoid the follow up that had been aimed for his head. Incensed by Tyn's dodging and mockery, the amateur pool player took a third swing at the arrancar's legs but Tyn deftly hopped up and back out of the way, landing on the pool table itself in a low crouch. The cue stick was thrust at his face like a spear, but Tyn deflected it away with his hand, grabbing hold of the stick tightly and preventing his attacker from drawing back for another strike.

The drunkard pulled at the cue stick with all his might but it wouldn't budge from the arrancar's iron grip. Instead, Tyn pulled on the stick and drew the man in closer as he reached down with his other hand and grabbed the green number six ball and proceeded to bounce it off the man's forehead with a loud 'thunk.'

Across the room, Tia's last attacker was writhing on the floor, screaming in pain and clutching at his shattered knee. Belatedly, the man's tall, lanky friend came to his aid, hefting a chair over his head and preparing to hammer Tia into the ground with it. He swung downward but the Espada simply reached up and caught one of the chair legs, stopping it cold. She snatched the piece of furniture away from the man and hoisted the chair back sideways before swinging it with all of her gigai's might, breaking the chair into a thousand tiny splinters and sending the tall man flying back into the old jukebox sitting in the corner, disturbing the hulking man who'd been sitting beside it.

Off in another far corner a trio of men were fighting amongst themselves, either too scared to attack the two arrancar that were dominating the room or too drunk to even realize who they were fighting. Tyn shook his head at them as he hopped down from the pool table, still holding the six ball and the cue stick he'd taken from his now-unconscious assailant. He whistled to Tia, tossing her the stick as a the large man who had been beside the juke box came after her.

Halibel caught the stick easily and spun back around to face the man charging at her like a raging bull, calmly lining up her shot and thrusting the stick forward into the man's crotch with laser-like precision, crushing his left testicle with the freshly-chalked tip. Tyn winced as he watched the unfortunate man drop to the ground holding himself, too choked up to even cry out in pain.

The last man standing in the bar opted to go after Tyn, apparently being smart enough to realize that Tia was the bigger threat but not quite smart enough to realize that he had a clear shot at the door and could have retreated.

"Catch!" Tyn said as he abruptly tossed the six ball to the man. Thrown off-guard by the seemingly-harmless gesture, the man instinctively reached up and caught the green billiard ball…only to have Tyn use the distraction to grab him and hurl him into the lone pinball machine in the room, shoving his head through the backglass on the machine. The six ball went airborne once more as the legs of the already ancient machine gave way and the entire contraption collapsed to the floor with the unconscious man still lying on top of it.

Tyn casually reached up and plucked the green ball from the air, pocketing it as a souvenir before dusting his hands off and looking around the room at his and Tia's handiwork.

"We should probably go…" Tia said as she discarded the cue stick. "We don't want to be here when the police arrive."

"Good idea." said Tyn, pausing a moment before following her out the door. "You go on ahead and I'll join you in just a second."

"Hurry it up." sighed the blond as she exited the bar. "We need to get moving before it's too late."

Tyn waited until she was gone to make his way over to the bar and lean across the counter, reaching down and grabbing the first man, the bald, tattooed fool who'd started the entire ordeal by having the audacity to touch Tia. Tyn gave a frightening and malicious grin as he hefted the semi-conscious man across the counter and held him at eye-level.

"Now it's _my_ turn."

* * *

"I'm sorry if tonight was a disaster."

Starrk looked away as he waited for Keiko's response, nervously running a hand through his somewhat messy hair as she fumbled with the lock for her apartment. The night hadn't gone at all like he'd expected, like he'd _hoped_; at every turn there had been an unwanted surprise of some sort that had left him feeling like a failure. Keiko was a smart woman, a beautiful woman, and she deserved so much more than-

"It was fine." she assured him with a kiss. "It was certainly the most interesting night out I've had in a long time."

"But nothing went quite right…" Starrk said, confused.

"I'm a _teacher_, remember?" she asked him. "I'm used to things not going according to plan."

"So…would you want to do this again?" asked Starrk, trying not to sound too hopeful or desperate.

"Absolutely!" affirmed Keiko. "You're a good man, Starrk; I'm not going to let you get away from me _that_ easily."

Relieved, Starrk smiled as he leaned down and kissed Keiko goodnight, grateful for her affections and wishing the night didn't have to end so soon but he had to go home to greet Lilynette or else she might worry if he were still gone. Perhaps next weekend he could pick Keiko up himself and leave Lilynette at Kurosaki's house for the night…

"Six o'clock next Friday." Keiko said, almost as if she were thinking along the same lines. "Don't be late."

"Count on it."

* * *

"You two look _so_ cute right now!"

"Shh…don't wake her."

The two adults were taking Lilynette home for the evening, with the exhausted young girl asleep on Anrak's back, her arms wrapped around his neck as her head rested on his right shoulder. She'd pushed herself hard, far harder than she should have for her first time training, and had been almost dead on her feet by the time the three of them had returned to their gigais and left Urahara's shop.

They'd paused for a moment outside a convenience market that had shut down for the night just long enough for Neliel to purchase a bottle of water from a vending machine and in those few short seconds, Lilynette had managed to fall asleep leaning against the building. Anrak had originally wanted to wake her, but Neliel had instead picked the girl up and put her on his back, asking him to carry the tired arrancar despite knowing full well how much Lilynette would have protested at being treated like a little kid had she been awake to do so.

"Still think all kids are as bad as Yachiru?" prodded Nel quietly.

"No…" Anrak admitted, being sure to keep his voice low. "Lilynette's a good kid."

"Except for the way she harasses Grimmjow."

"I stand by my original statement." Anrak said with a wry smile. "Still, it's been a good night. She learned a lot, got some good exercise, and she enjoyed herself. I think we've helped broaden her horizons some."

"And what about _your_ horizons?" whispered Nel. "What about your 'no kids' stance?"

"…I suppose one or two wouldn't be too bad." he admitted finally. "I'll admit that I enjoyed tonight, too."

"I knew you'd change your mind sooner or later." said Neliel with a smile. "You're too sweet not to."

"She planned this, you know…" sighed Anrak. "Yoruichi, I mean. She's determined to get a niece or a nephew out of us and when she heard Starrk needed a babysitter, all she saw was a golden opportunity to soften me up for you."

"I know." giggled Nel lightly. "She told me everything when she first called."

"Why are all the women in my life always plotting behind my back and manipulating me?"

"Everyone needs a hobby, honey." teased Neliel.

"Love you, too, dear; love you, too."

* * *

"What did you do?"

Tyn grinned innocently at Halibel as if he had no idea of what she was talking about, ignoring the splashes of crimson on his shirt and dripping from his knuckles. Tia refused to be fooled by his act and instead narrowed her eyes as she folded her arms across her chest, tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for an answer.

"What did you do, Tyn?" she asked again. "If you killed that idiot-"

"I didn't." he said, cutting her off. "I know what you _think_ I probably did, but you're wrong."

"Can he walk?" asked the blond.

"…let's just say he's still breathing on his own and leave it there, okay?"

"Goddammit, Tyn…"

"He had it coming!" exclaimed the _quinto_. "What, you seriously expect me to not _do_ something when some idiot touches my mate?"

"_What_ did you call me?" Tia asked as she arched a finely-manicured eyebrow, not quite sure she heard him correctly.

"…my roommate." Tyn said quickly, blinking innocently. "Why, what did you think I said?"

"Never mind…" Halibel sighed before pointing to the heavy-looking object he was carrying over his shoulder. "What the hell is that?"

"A souvenir?"

"The billiard ball was a souvenir; what is _that_?"

"A trophy?" Tyn tried again.

"It's a keg, Tyn."

"It's a _full_ keg." he corrected her.

"What the hell are we supposed to do with a keg of beer?" asked Tia, rubbing her head.

"Drink it?" Tyn suggested as if it should have been obvious.

"Did you steal that?"

"Let's call it an extended loan."

"Let's call it larceny, you mean…" Halibel groaned. "Can't I take you anywhere?"

"I thought I was the one taking you-"

"Forget it." Tia said irritably. "Let's just go home."

"Look, I did it for you, you know." Tyn said, scowling in annoyance at her attitude. "I know you're pissed. I know tonight wasn't what you wanted and I know you hated every minute of it. I thought that maybe, just maybe we could at least finish off the night on a positive note by taking this home and having a few drinks _together_, alone."

"Together alone?" Tia asked with an almost-bemused look.

"You know what I mean, damn it." Tyn growled, eliciting a small chuckle from the _tercera_.

"And for the record, that's not completely true…" she said softly. "It wasn't what I originally wanted or what I expected, but it wasn't bad, either; it was _you_, through and through. There was nothing normal about it and I like that… I'm so goddamned sick of pretending to be 'normal' that I could puke."

"So…you're not mad at me?" Tyn asked. "I'm not going to be sleeping on the roof tonight?"

"Of course not, you idiot." Tia scolded him lightly. "I wanted a night out and you gave me a memorable evening from your heart-"

"I don't _have_ a-" he began, only to have the blond silence him with an abrupt kiss.

"Stop talking."


	36. All Hollow's Eve I

**All Hollow's Eve I**

Holidays were supposed to be days of joy and celebration, special occasions that came about fairly rarely, such as only once a year…or so Tia Halibel had mistakenly allowed herself to believe. In truth, it felt like humans had some damnedable holiday to celebrate every other week and it was impossible to finally wash your hands of one without tripping over the next.

Human holidays were a nuisance that the former Espada could do without and while too many of the celebrations seemed to require some level of participation in order to keep up the guise of being 'normal,' Halloween had at least seemed like one of the precious few holidays that could safely be ignored for this year.

Downtown at the bar where Halibel normally worked, The Oasis, there was a small costume party going on and while she had originally been slated to work tonight, the Espada had finally managed to convince her manager to give her the evening off, saving her from the nightmare; she had absolutely _no_ intention of wearing a silly and somewhat-suggestive costume while serving drinks to desperate men if there was any way in Hell it could be avoided. No, her idea of a good Halloween was to spend a quiet evening at home with the moron, drinking beer, eating a frozen pizza, and critiquing the stupidity in horror movies all night.

The elevator doors opened up to the tenth floor and Halibel exited with a smug grin at having been victorious in securing the evening off as Tyn dutifully followed behind her, his arms laden with grocery sacks containing all the ingredients necessary to make the night as enjoyable as possible, namely plenty of beer, the frozen pizza, and a plethora of extra meats to heap upon said pizza.

The _tercera_ led the way down the hall to their apartment door, opening it and allowing her roommate and lover to enter first and deposit the multiple grocery sacks on the bar. As Tyn began unloading the goods, Tia stared at the front of the open door thoughtfully, pondering if it might be best to make a sign deterring children from coming by in a pathetic attempt to get candy; after all, neither arrancar was terribly fond of being interrupted for anything, least of all if things were to get…_personal_.

She opened her mouth to ask Tyn for his input, only to feel an all-too-familiar presence around her waist before she could utter a single syllable.

"Happy Halloween, Miss Halle Belle!" sang Emi cheerfully as she hugged Tia, looking up at the adult with a big grin. Suppressing both a twitch and a sigh, Halibel forced a smile down at the child as she ruffled her dark hair in a manner that humans seemed to consider affectionate.

"Happy Halloween to you, too, Emi." she said pleasantly, though her keen ears could hear Tyn muttering a rather impressive variety of colorful expletives under his breath as he continued unloading the groceries. Normally Halibel might have shared his frustrations but tonight it was entirely unfounded; after all, she had thought ahead and purchased a few small bags of candy for just such an occasion and surely Emi would be on her way once she was given a handful of the sickeningly-sweet treats.

Or that was Halibel's thought until she saw Emi's mother, Miyo, come out of her apartment with an apologetic smile akin to the one she'd had the day she asked the Espada to babysit the child…

"Tia, I really hate to ask, but…" began the human slowly as Tia's mind began screaming _NO_ as loud as it could inside her skull, "my husband is working late tonight and I have to take care of the baby; would you and Tyn please take Emi out Trick-or-Treating for me?"

Hesitantly, Tia cast a glance back over at the bar and Tyn, who was frantically shaking his head and silently mouthing the words "no, no, no, Hell no" at her, but the Espada knew in the void where her heart was _supposed_ to be what the correct response should be, what the _normal_ human response was…

"We'd be glad to." she lied with a forced smile, ignoring the sound of Tyn slamming his forehead against the bar repeatedly in frustration as Emi cheered.

* * *

"I think you're enjoying this entirely too much."

Neliel stuck her tongue out at her husband's teasing tone as she continued stringing various decorations, most in shades of black and orange, around the office in a festive manner. The former Espada practically _danced_ around the office as she worked, humming contentedly and leaving her Captain with the distinct impression that she was already enjoying a sugar buzz derived from eating too many of the sweets contained in the bucket sitting on her desk…and it was barely noon!

"Was the costume really necessary?" asked Anrak with a bemused smile as he pushed his paperwork away for the moment and put an arm up on his desk, resting his head against his fist as he watched the dress-wearing arrancar climb up on a small stepladder to hang some more decorations from the ceiling, shaking her hips in rhythm to some unheard melody the entire time.

"Just because _you_ have no holiday spirit doesn't mean I can't have a little fun." answered Neliel with a lighthearted tone as she shook her rear at him.

"Who say's I'm not having fun?" smirked Anrak at the sight, "I just don't care to dress up myself, personally."

"Oh, we'll change that." Nel said with a confident grin, "Next year, I'll have you in costume, too."

"We'll see about that." chuckled the shinigami as Nel made her way over to sit on his desk. Anrak looked up the green-haired woman in her witch costume, the black, pointy hat only partially covering her white hollow mask, and shook his head as he laughed again. "You're one of a kind, sweetheart, you know that?"

"If I can get you to loosen up just a little bit more, we'll be _two_ of a kind." Nel countered, leaning over and giving him a kiss before taking a serious tone. "Besides, with what tonight _really_ is, a little levity is a good thing."

"All _Hollow's_ Eve…" Anrak sighed, "All squads have quadrupled the usual number of shinigami sent to the world of the living for tonight, but it won't be enough to save everyone. It's never enough."

"I try not to think about what I used to do before I became an arrancar…about what this night meant for me and the others…" began Nel slowly, the faintest glimmer of tears appearing in her eyes. "We all did such horrible things, so many lives taken… I was a monster, An."

"That was a long time ago." countered Anrak firmly, reaching up and gently wiping the tears away from her hazel eyes, "You couldn't help it; none of you could. You were victims of raw, primal instinct and an insatiable hunger that I can't even begin to imagine. What you do now is repentance for those sins; we've sent far more to the human world tonight than any of the other squads, all at _your_ urging."

"But it won't be enough…" she reminded him.

"No, it won't." he agreed softly, "But there will be a lot less casualties this year than in the past and you're playing a major part of that; the squad has been trained well and they'll make us proud."

"I know they will." said Neliel, smiling gently once again. "I just wish we could end the annual horror forever and cling only to the celebration the humans enjoy."

"Perhaps someday we will, _koibito_." Anrak assured her, "Until then, put your smile back on and go spread some of that cheer to the remainder of the squad; after all, just because _I_ don't have any holiday spirit doesn't mean the rest of you shouldn't have a bit of fun."

Neliel grinned and kissed him again as she hopped off his desk and picked up the candy-filled bucket from her own desk and headed for the door. She pushed the door open just in time to hear her captain stand up from his seat and clear his throat, demanding her attention. She turned to face him with a quizzical look on her face as he approached, but he just gave her another smile, winking as he reached inside the bucket and extracted a handful of fruit-flavored candy for himself before sending her on her way.

* * *

Lilynette sat on the bleachers at the park, watching the sun slowly set and fidgeting as she waited for Karin, her best friend, to respond to her story. It had been a long time coming, but Lilynette had finally found the courage to have a talk with the human and explain the truth to her, to tell her about the Arrancar and the Espada and who she really was.

Karin knew some of it already; how could she not? Her own brother was a shinigami, even if he had refused to tell her exactly what that meant. She'd seen the spirits of the deceased her entire life and had even had a few run-ins with hollows in the past and while she'd always known the Lilynette was different, the arrancar doubted she had realized just _how_ different.

"So?" asked Karin finally after a long, nerve-wracking silence. "I get it; you're not human. Do you really think I give a crap about that?"

"I just kinda thought you should know…" Lilynette shrugged. "I should have told you a long time ago, especially when I found out Ichigo was your brother. I mean, we fought on opposite sides of a war-"

"And he's still alive, and you're still alive, so it doesn't matter if you were a 'bad guy' in the past; he doesn't seem to hold a grudge against any of you, 'cept for maybe that Grimmjow guy, so why should I?"

"I want to be a shinigami, too…" Lilynette sighed. "I want to be a good guy instead of a monster."

"A good guy like Ichigo, you mean?" asked Karin with a teasing grin. "Are you saying you have a crush on my brother?"

"God no!" exclaimed Lilynette in horror. "I want to be a shinigami like Nel is; she was always _so_ cool in Hueco Mundo, so strong and confident, but really nice and awesome. The rest of us are doing _this_, pretending to be human, but she joined the shinigami and now she's a lieutenant in Squad 13! I want to be just like her one day!"

"I think I've met her once…" Karin said, scratching her chin thoughtfully. "Green hair, brown eyes, big, goofy smile?"

"Yep!" confirmed Lilynette. "Nel is the strongest woman _ever_, even if she doesn't always act like it."

"I didn't know she was a shinigami, or an Espada, either." said Karin. "Probably should have, though; she was with Ichigo and Tōshirō and a bunch of other people I didn't know. Should have guessed they were all soul reapers."

"Who's Tōshirō?"

"He's…" began Karin before pausing, blushing a bit, "He's this pretty cool guy I know. Really good soccer player, like almost as good as I am."

"Uh huh…" said Lilynette with a knowing grin, but for the moment she opted to keep talking about the shinigami rather than calling out Karin for her obvious crush, "Anyway, Nel comes back here every few weeks to spar with me and teach me how to fight. She says she doesn't know _how_ she'll get me into the soul academy, but she and her husband both promised they'd make it happen."

"If she's a lieutenant now and a former Espada, isn't sparring with her hard? I mean, doesn't she kick your ass all over the place?" asked Karin.

"Kinda, yeah…" Lilynette admitted. "I know she's holding back to keep from hurting me, but it's really hard because she's just so much stronger… And the size difference! She says that'll change in a year or two when I hit a growth spurt, but right now it's really hard."

"You should find someone your own size to spar with…" Karin suggested. "I could probably help."

"Karin, thanks, but you're…_human_." said Lilynette slowly, trying to not offend her friend. "The strength difference between us-"

"Then I'll just become a soul reaper." shrugged the other girl nonchalantly. "They can obviously hang with Espada and Arrancar and whatever, so if I'm a soul reaper, I'll be just fine."

"How?" asked Lilynette. "I don't think it's that easy-"

"Hey, Ichigo is a soul reaper, right? And you said he's one of the strongest ones, right? I'm his sister; I should be able to do the same. It's probably genetic."

"But…_how_?" asked Lilynette, confused. "I mean, it's not as simple as putting on a black uniform and fighting ghosts. There's the soul academy and all…"

"I'll bet that creepy Urahara guy knows." said Karin confidently. "Ichigo hangs around him a lot and it all seemed to start right about the time he became a soul reaper, and I don't think he _ever _went to some dumb academy. It _can't_ just all be coincidence."

"So we ask him?"

"Yep!" declared Karin, standing up. "We'll _force_ him to tell us how Ichigo got to be a soul reaper, and then _I_ can be a soul reaper, and then I can help you train!"

"Awesome!" cheered Lilynette, jumping up excitedly. "This is going to be _so _cool and…wait a minute, you wanting to be a shinigami wouldn't have anything to do with getting closer to that Tōshirō guy, would it?"

"S-s-shut up!"

* * *

The sunlight was just beginning to fade as Tia knocked on Miyo's door to pick up Emi, ready to take the child out to gather candy and get the entire hellish ordeal over with. Tyn leaned up against the wall beside the door frame, arms folded over his chest in frustration as he alternated between grumbling and growling at the situation. While Halibel shared his frustrations, they had to put on a good face and _pretend_ to be looking forward to helping out their neighbors and "friends," and as such Tia had found it necessary to give her roommate a good, hard smack to his head to silence him.

Not that she expected it to keep him quiet for long.

Impatient to get the evening over with, she rapped her knuckles against the door once more and was rewarded with the doorknob turning as Miyo opened up the door with young Emi in tow.

"Hi, guys." said the human woman with her apologetic smile, "Thanks again for taking Emi out for me; I really appreciate it."

"It's our pleasure." lied Tia with a practiced smile as Emi stepped out into the hall and grasped the Espada's hand tightly.

"You behave for Tia and Tyn now, Emi." Miyo reminded her daughter. "Don't give them any trouble."

"She'll be fine." Tia assured her, "Emi's a little sweetheart, aren't you, dear?"

Emi gave an affirmative and while Halibel gave her another smile, she heard Tyn make a faint gagging noise off to the side. She gave him an icy glare that the humans thankfully missed, but Tyn didn't; he went silent once more as he looked away from the menacing _tercera_.

Tia exchanged a couple of more pleasantries with the girl's mother before Miyo disappeared back into her apartment, leaving the small child in the care of the two Espada. The irony of a human entrusting her offspring's safety to them tonight, of _all_ nights, wasn't lost on the blonde, but she kept her mouth shut about it.

Tyn, on the other hand, was chuckling darkly to himself.

"Behave." growled Halibel threateningly, keeping her voice just low enough that the young child holding her hand wouldn't hear. Tyn gave an annoyed sigh and fell silent again, and Halibel hoped that this time he might actually heed her warning for more than ten seconds.

"You like my costume?" asked Emi as they stepped onto the elevator to go down.

"It's wonderful, dear." said Halibel, making a show of looking over the child's white dress that was cut in such a fashion as to make it nigh-impossible to determine if she was supposed to be a princess, a bride, or a ballerina.

Though the cardboard fin taped to her little tiara helped give it away.

"I'm the Shark Queen!" announced Emi proudly, "Just like from the story you told me!"

"I see…" said Halibel, her smile becoming even more forced. "You look just like her."

And that was the point where Tyn lost his remaining self control, laughing deeply as he fell back against the elevator's wall, catching himself with one hand and using the other to wipe tears from his eyes. Tia gave him another death glare, but this time the silent threat did nothing to silence his guffawing.

The elevator doors opened up and Tia led Emi out into the lobby, heading towards the glass doors leading outside as Tyn followed behind them, still laughing at his roommate.

"So in a year or two, when he's old enough, I'm guessing your baby brother will go as the Raptor Prince?" Tia asked the girl conversationally.

"Oh yes!" agreed Emi. "And I'm going to help him make the bestest costume ever, just like mine!"

Tyn's laughter finally died, the mirthful look on his face quickly being replaced by one of abject horror at the thought, and Tia couldn't help but give a smug, almost-evil grin at his sudden predicament.

Sometimes, just sometimes, karma could be fun.

* * *

"I do not understand how I allowed you to talk me into this, woman."

Orihime looked over at her sullen companion and gave him another one of her painfully-bright smiles as she hugged his arm. It was a lie, of course; Ulquiorra knew _exactly_ how Orihime had conned him into this, with her strangely-alluring smile and big brown eyes…and worse, she was doing it to him again!

"Oh, don't be like that, Ulqui!" she admonished him playfully as she half-dragged him towards the school gymnasium and the Halloween party inside, "It'll be fun!"

"I do not share your assessment of the situation." Ulquiorra stated flatly, feeling decidedly uncomfortable in the ridiculous gray and blue tights his roommate had picked out for him. "I know very little of the character I am supposed to be imitating and even less of your friends at this party we are going to."

"It's not necessary to know the character…" said Orihime, taking a moment to straighten out his blue cape for him, "and you'll know Tatsuki, at least."

"That is not entirely comforting." stated Ulquiorra, ignoring the phantom ache in his jaw brought about by the mere mention of the overly-protective and equally-violent human.

"Just stick with me and try to loosen up; I _promise_ you'll have fun." said the teen, adjusting the fake cat ears she wore on her head to complete her strange feline-esque costume.

"And if someone were to recognize me, such as the Quincy…?" asked Ulquiorra with a frown. "I do not wish to become embroiled in a fight that would likely destroy your school and cause many casualties."

"Uryū won't be there; he says there's no reason to celebrate Halloween-"

"He is correct." Ulquiorra interrupted her stiffly. "Once upon a time, humans understood the true nature of this night and they knew better than to go outside and draw attention to themselves, but somehow over the centuries, it has become this…perversion."

"_Relax!_" Orihime reminded the overly-analytical Espada. "For once, just try and enjoy yourself and forget about facts and history and being all super serious!"

"My limited understanding of this character is that he does _not_ relax and, in fact, takes everything quite seriously."

"That's just one interpretation of him; you're dressed as a different one." Orihime reminded him as she opened the door and gestured for him to go inside. "Just give everyone a big smile and maybe say things like 'pow' and 'bam' periodically."

"This is getting more ridiculous by the minute…" lamented Ulquiorra as he reluctantly entered the crowded gymnasium. "Could I not have disguised myself as one of the other, less-emasculating interpretations?"

"Nope!" chirped Orihime brightly, "Now go get 'em, Batman!"

* * *

Halibel stood on the sidewalk with Tyn, carefully watching Emi as she went up to each house and knocked on the door with her little bag of candies. A virtual sea of children and their guardians flowed around them, flooding the streets in an effort to get their grubby little hands on sugar-filled candies that would undoubtedly leave them hyperactive and positively _wired_ for weeks to come.

The thought only reinforced Halibel's own reluctance to _ever _have children of her own.

Emi thanked the owner of the house and happily skipped back to the two Espada that were escorting her, taking hold of Tia's hand and grasping it tightly as she smiled up at the blonde in a sign that she was ready to move on to the next house.

"Halloween is the second best holiday ever!" Emi chirped brightly as the adults led her down the street past a few houses whose lights were off, indicating they wanted nothing to do with the holiday.

Tia sympathized with them wholeheartedly.

"Only Christmas is better, 'cause of all the presents and stuff!" continued Emi, who failed to notice the irritated twitch on Halibel's face at the mere mention of Christmas. "But still, whoever invented Halloween was _really_ smart!"

"Whoever 'invented' Halloween forgot the true meaning of the day…" growled Tyn and Emi looked up at him quizzically.

"Why? What do you mean?" asked the child and Halibel sighed, torn between answering her honestly and smacking Tyn for even bringing it up. She weighed her options for a couple of seconds, noticing that Tyn seemed to be expecting a reprimand and while it was _very_ tempting to belt him one, the _tercera_ instead opted to answer the question honestly; after all, part of the modern _human_ tradition for the night seemed to include stories of a 'scary' nature.

"Halloween was originally called All Hollow's Eve…' said Tia, drawing Emi's attention to her rather than Tyn, "Hollows, as in the monsters from the story about the Shark Queen."

"Monsters celebrate Halloween?" asked a confused Emi.

"Not willingly…" muttered Tyn and Halibel shot him another glare warning him to be quiet or else.

"On All Hollow's Eve, the natural barrier between the world of the living and the world of the dead becomes very thin…" continued Tia, "Sometimes, doors open up that allow the spirits to come back to the world of the living, but it's not usually the 'good' spirits from what you call Heaven; only the bad spirits from Hueco Mundo, the hollows, cross over."

"And they _eat_ people, don't they? I remember you saying that in the story cause they were all bad." said Emi nervously, clutching the adult's hand tighter.

"Certain people, yes; people who can see or hear spirits like that weird guy on TV, Don Kanonji. Everyone else is safe." Tia assured her.

"Somewhere along the way, people thought that wearing costumes and masks to 'blend in' with the spirits would help protect them…" added Tyn, "Pity for them that only the exceptionally retarded hollows would fall for their disguises."

"Over the years, people began calling it All _Hallow's_ Eve instead of All Hollow's, and they forgot the real reasons behind the tradition of wearing costumes. Today, we call it Halloween." finished Halibel, giving the child a comforting smile. "But that's just an old legend; it's nothing you need worry about."

"Why did candy become a part of it, then?" asked Emi. "Do the monsters like candy?"

"Humans add candy to everything." grunted Tyn bitterly, "I think it's hardwired into their DNA to add chocolate and sugar to everything they can: Christmas, All Hollow's Eve, Valentine's Day, Easter…"

"How do you know so much?" asked Emi, "You two must be really smart!"

"Different places in the world celebrate holidays differently…" Tia told the girl, "Where we used to live, we _never_ forgot the truth behind All Hollow's Eve; everyone there knows the story."

"So did you two ever dress up and go Trick-or-Treating before you moved here?" asked Emi.

"We had masks…" said Tyn, grinning darkly the entire time, "but we never ate candy…."

Halibel wanted to smack the redhead, but the horrible truth behind his comment went right over Emi's head as the child hugged her two guardians around their waists tightly.

"That's so sad!" she practically wailed. "I'll share my candy with you!"

"Thank you, Emi, but that's not necessary-" began Tia as a hollow roar echoed across the city, but she cut herself off when she noticed Emi's brown eyes go wide.

"W-w-what was that?" she asked timidly. "I heard something…something _weird_ and scary!"

The two adults looked at each other, surprised. Tia wanted to believe it was a fluke, but the roar sounded again, louder this time, and Emi hugged her waist tightly in fear, crying.

"Perfect, just perfect…" growled an annoyed Tyn as Tia knelt down before Emi and wiped the tears from her eyes gently.

"It's okay, sweetie…" she soothed, "You're perfectly safe with us."

"B-but aren't you afraid of the monsters?" sputtered Emi, trembling as Halibel continued to try and comfort her. The two adults looked at each other for a second before Tyn answered her.

"Kid, if anything, they should be afraid of _us_."

* * *

Starrk and Keiko waved goodbye to the children as they headed away from Keiko's apartment and down the building's long hallway to continue their hunt for candy, and the _primera_ allowed himself a small, sad smile as he watched them go. All Hollow's Eve, or rather, the _human_ variant of it, seemed like the sort of thing Lilynette could have enjoyed had she been younger, and a part of Starrk lamented never being able to take her out Trick-or-Treating.

But it was too late now; Lilynette, while still quite childlike in many ways, was what the humans would consider 'too old' for Trick-or-Treating now and she'd _never_ allow herself to do something that could make her appear too childish in the eyes of her peers.

"You miss taking Lilynette out on Halloween, don't you?" asked Keiko, noticing and misinterpreting his expression.

"Something like that…" Starrk said, shaking his head slowly. "They really do grow up too fast, don't they?"

"You're just a big softy at heart, you know that?" teased his girlfriend, prompting a light laugh from Starrk.

"Maybe just a bit." he agreed, "But I just can't help thinking of all the missed opportunities with Lilynette… She's the only family I have and since moving to Karakura, that's been weighing more and more heavily on me; I haven't done enough with her, enough _for_ her…and I don't really know what I _should_ do anymore."

"You're over-thinking it." chastised Keiko as another group of children approached them. "She's at that age where it's difficult to connect with her; she's growing up and discovering herself, who she really is, and what she wants in life. Don't focus on missed chances in the past and don't worry about what to do in the future; just be available for her now and be supportive, let her know you love her."

"It feels like she's closer to her aunt Nel than me anymore…" said Starrk, giving a couple of handfuls of candy out to the costumed kids in front of him. "It sounds terrible to say, but I'm a little jealous; I don't even know what they're doing when they go off together, or what they talk about, _anything_. I've been left completely in the dark."

"That's probably for the best…" mused Keiko, waving to the children as they departed. "It's good for her to have a strong female role model to look up to and answer her questions. Seriously, Starrk, are _you_ really prepared to answer a teenage girl's questions about her body and how to deal with feelings towards boys?"

"Well, no…" admitted a red-faced Starrk as he shut the apartment door until the next visitor came knocking, "I didn't think about it that way."

"I didn't think so." said Keiko, grinning at the Espada's embarassment. "Just give her time to grow and let Nel help her through the journey into being a young woman.

"I just hope you're right and that's all it is." sighed Starrk as he went over and sat on the couch. Keiko plopped down beside him and kissed his cheek lightly to reassure him.

"Of _course_ I'm right; after all, what else could it be?"

* * *

The revelation that Emi appeared to possess some level of spiritual pressure, enough to hear the hollow cries echoing through the city streets at least, had brought yet another complication and annoyance to the godforsaken task of taking the child out for candy; now Halibel had to be far more diligent since Emi would be considered a tasty little treat for any hollow that might pass close enough to sense her. Going against every fiber of her very being, the Espada now refused to release the little girl's hand and allow her to venture up to houses alone, which meant Halibel had little choice but to accompany the child up to each and every door and interact with the humans who answered.

She twitched at virtually every other stop as people mistakenly assumed her to be the girl's mother, but she managed to keep the fake smile intact as she thanked each person for their time and wished them all a "happy Halloween."

Inwardly, the _tercera_ couldn't remember that last time she'd wanted to just _punch_ someone, anyone, so damn much…

Where the hell was Grimmjow when you actually _needed_ him?

As they stood at the door to yet another house with Emi standing up on her toes to reach the doorbell, Tia allowed herself to turn back and look behind them for just a moment, glancing at Tyn.

For his part, the raptor paid her no mind; he stood on the sidewalk slowly and carefully surveying the area for threats, his sharp eyes granting him night vision far superior to any human and his keen nose could be seen twitching ever-so-slightly as he took in the scents wafting by on the night winds. Despite having his normal senses watered down by the gigai, the _quinto's_ senses still greatly exceeded human capacity and would quickly alert the two Espada to any hungry hollow that came too close.

Of course, the matter of what they would actually _do_ if something were to show it's masked face was still up in the air; their faux bodies hindered them far too much to actually win in a fight and would slow their speed so much that escape would be impossible…

The only other option was their soul candy and from her spot on the front porch, Halibel could see that Tyn still had his hand in his pocket, fingers tightly curled around his own soul candy as a precaution. They both knew that the instant either one of them used it, however, their existence would be exposed to the Soul Society and their lives in Karakura would come to an end.

That was as unacceptable as allowing harm to come to the child.

They were effectively damned either way.

Halibel silently cursed the need for secrecy and turned back around just as the door opened, greeting the home owner and wishing her a "happy Halloween" as the woman deposited a handful of candy into Emi's waiting loot bag.

_At least Emi's not crying anymore,_ thought Halibel as they turned and headed back to the sidewalk and the raptor waiting on them. Every time a hollow roar sounded off in the distance the human child would tighten her grip on Halibel hand slightly, but that was only to be expected; Emi was still human and still prone to fear, despite how much she might be trying to hide it at the moment.

Rejoining up with Tyn, the group headed for another neighborhood and more candy as Halibel gazed up at the moon briefly; so full, so bright…

"A real hunter's moon, isn't it?" Tyn asked her quietly.

"A night like this would have been a godsend back then…" agreed the blonde. "Fortunately, here and now, it can still work in our favor."

"What are you talking about?" asked Emi, looking up at her two guardians.

"Nothing you need to worry about…" Tia soothed the child, "We're just…reminiscing."

"What's that mean?"

"Remembering how things used to be," answered Tyn, "before we moved here."

"Oh…" said Emi, falling silent for just a moment. "I bet you miss your old home, but I'm really glad you moved here, 'cause you two are really nice and I like you a lot!"

"We like you, too, Emi." said Halibel as Tyn predictably ignored the girl's comments. She wanted to elbow him and encourage him to _try _and say something nice, but the way Tyn narrowed his eyes alerted Tia that something wasn't quite right.

"Act casual." he said simply as they neared the street corner they were going to turn at. Tia opened her mouth to ask what he'd smelled, only to close it immediately as she finally noticed the faint scent in the air.

Soul Reapers.

The two Espada and Emi turned the corner and sure enough, there were two shinigami standing just a few feet from them, leaning against a tall wooden privacy fence surrounding a house. There was no indication of a trap or ambush, though, and the two shinigami simply seemed to be resting or killing time.

_Slackers…,_ thought the _tercera_ disdainfully.

Halibel didn't recognize the young-looking duo, which hopefully meant that they wouldn't recognize her either, but the safest course of action was to just 'act casual' as Tyn had said; pretend that they weren't there, pretend that they were invisible, just as they would be to normal people.

"Cool costumes!" blurted out Emi, effectively ruining _that _plan. "How'd you make yourself all see-through and stuff?"

_See-through…_ mused Halibel silently. If the girl couldn't see them clearly, solidly, that meant her spiritual pressure was on the low end of the spectrum, which would make her a somewhat less-appetizing meal to hollows.

Still…

"You can see us?" asked one of the two near-identical looking men, sounding confused.

"Well, yeah…" said Emi. "Am I not 'sposed to?"

"Not really…" said the other male. "It's kind of rare for people to see us at all."

"Why?" asked Emi as Halibel and Tyn stood there frozen, each looking at the other for a solution to get away from the current predicament.

"Because we're ghosts!" said the first male, giving a good-natured grin before going, "Boo!"

Emi yelped and took refuge behind Halibel as the blonde began to contemplate striking the idiot Soul Reaper for frightening the child.

How fortunate it was that the other one took care of it for her, slapping his partner in the back of the head.

"Moron…" he growled at his companion before looking at the child, "Ignore my idiot brother here; he's harmless. We're not going to hurt you; we're the good guys."

"B-b-but Miss Halle Belle said the _bad _ghosts came out tonight!" answered the child, refusing to come out from her hiding spot behind the adults.

"They do…" answered the shinigami honestly, "But we've come out to try and stop them from hurting people. That's our job."

"Are they _really _good guys?" Emi asked Tia timidly, looking up at the blonde for some kind of reassurance.

"Your parents here probably can't see us…" said the shinigami again, mistakenly identifying the trio as a family. "Remember, most people can't see ghosts."

"See, watch!" said the first shinigami again, going up to Tyn and making a bunch of goofy faces and sticking his tongue out. "See? He can't see me at all!"

It was a miracle Tyn had restrained himself from striking the foolish soul reaper, but as he moved to stand in front of Tia and repeat the act…

The _tercera _finally gave in to her earlier desires.

_***POW!***_

A thunderous right came out of nowhere and connected with the shinigami's jaw, sending him flying backwards against his brother who was too surprised to catch his twin. The duo crashed to the ground roughly as Emi giggled at their confusion and Tyn gave a little grin that was nothing short of malicious.

"Takk, I think they can see us…" said the first shinigami, rubbing his bruised jaw.

"No shit." snorted Tyn, earning him a hard punch in the arm from the menacing blonde.

"How many times do I have to tell you to watch your language in front of kids?" she hissed.

"Hey, if _you_ can get away with punching a shinigami in the face, then _I_ can get away with a little swearing."

"And you know what we are…" said the second soul reaper, Takk, as he slowly got back to his feet, pulling his brother up along with him. "_How_ do you know what we are?"

"That's _not_ how it works." Halibel snapped at her roommate, ignoring the two shinigami. "There's a difference."

"I don't really think that's fair…" complained the redhead.

"And _I _think you must want to sleep on the couch tonight." countered Halibel coldly.

"…that's fighting dirty." growled Tyn bitterly as he folded his arms across his chest and looked away, but he said nothing further and effectively conceded the argument to his roommate. Halibel smirked at her victory and resumed walking, leading Emi and Tyn past the shinigami and hoping the two slackers wouldn't feel inclined to pursue the matter further.

As if she would be so lucky…

"Wait a minute here…" said Takk, falling into step behind the trio. "You didn't answer my questions and-"

"Didn't you two idiots say your job was to protect people from the 'bad ghosts' out tonight?" asked Halibel irritably as she whirled around to face the soul reaper.

"Well, yeah, but-" Takk tried to answer, only to be cut off again.

"Then go _do_ your job and stop harassing us!" roared the Espada in his face as she jabbed an accusatory finger at his chest. "Stop slacking off, do your stupid job, and _leave us alone!_ You're setting a bad example for the girl!"

Stunned at the outburst from the rather intimidating woman, the two shinigami stepped back away, cringing at her tone and looking away for a moment like a pair of children who'd just been scolded. Neither tried to speak again and, hoping that they had finally been put in their place, Halibel turned and resumed walking once more, taking Emi and Tyn along with her as the two bewildered shinigami just stood there, blinking stupidly.

"Uh, what just happened?" the first shinigami timidly asked his brother after several long seconds.

Emi just giggled and waved goodbye to them as 'Miss Halle Belle' led her to the next house.


	37. All Hollow's Eve II

**All Hollow's Eve II**

Halloween was a strange night.

From the costumes and decorations, to the candy-begging and juvenile pranks, to the tradition of carving pumpkins and telling scary stories, it was all very bizarre to anyone looking in from the outside. It became even _more_ bizarre upon remembering that Halloween was essentially one big 'All You Can Eat' buffet for hollows in the human world, with the weakened barrier between the world of the living and Hueco Mundo serving as the giant, flashing neon sign inviting one and all to stop in and have a bite.

Nothing about the annual event _ever_ made sense and all one could do was to try and expect the unexpected, to just roll with whatever strangeness came your way.

But sometimes the strange occurrences warranted a closer look…

It was pretty weird for humans to be able to see spirits in the first place, but not _too_ uncommon an occurrence, _especially_ in Karakura Town, and that wasn't too much to be concerned with; in particular, the child had mentioned that the two shinigami had been "see-through," an indication that she could only just barely perceive them.

Not a surprise; children were always better at perceiving spirits than adults and, like the overwhelming majority of children, she would probably grow out of it in time and live her adult life blissfully ignorant of the spirits wandering about the earth. Her existing memories of them would fade and eventually she would only remember any apparitions as mere figments of a child's overactive imagination.

All in all, there was little to be concerned with in regards to the child.

Her two guardians, however…

The woman had punched Satsu with a force that belied her size and stature, the male clearly knew what a shinigami was, and to top it all off, neither one of them had _any_ detectable spiritual pressure whatsoever. Each little thing by itself would be easy enough to ignore, but all three combined…

No, something definitely wasn't right with those two.

Takk followed them from above, going from rooftop to rooftop to tree branch, trying to stay at least fifty meters back at all times while staying hidden in the shadows. Surveillance were generally left to Squad 2 and their specialists, but basic courses in tracking had been a part of everyone's training back at the Soul Academy and while it hadn't exactly been Takk's best subject, his curiosity demanded that he follow the strange individuals and learn more about them.

"She's gorgeous…" sighed his brother, Satsu. "Takk, I think I'm in love."

"She tried to punch your teeth down your throat and you're in love with her?" asked Takk incredulously, taking his eyes off the strangers for a brief moment as he regarded his brother. "You're either nuts or more desperate than I thought."

"It was just a love tap, that's all." said Satsu, gazing down at the blonde dreamily as Takk hopped over to a nearby roof. "I think she likes me."

"I think she'd like to tear your head off and roll it down the street…" said the elder twin, shaking his head at his brother's delusions as Satsu followed his lead over to the rooftop. "Besides, don't you think there's something strange about them? They're not exactly normal, even by Karakura standards."

"The way they defy gravity is part of what makes her so amazing!" explained Satsu as he watched the belligerent beauty escort the child to another door.

"I'm not talking about her breasts, moron." Takk growled. "They _saw_ us, and saw us clearly. They even knew _what_ we are!"

"So? Maybe they're friends with the Kurosaki kid or something." shrugged the younger of the two brothers. "I think you're thinking too much."

"Maybe I am…" Takk conceded reluctantly. "I hadn't thought about that. It doesn't explain everything, but…"

He trailed off as the male down below turned around and looked up at them, making direct eye contact with Takk.

"Oh…_shit._" breathed the shinigami.

"What? What do you see?" asked Satsu as his brother went completely pale.

"We're some fifty meters away, on a rooftop, in the dark, obscured by shadows and heavy cloud cover over the moon at the moment…" Takk began slowly.

"Your point?"

"He can see us..." said Takk. "This far away, in the dark, and he can _see_ us."

"Okay, that's a little…weird." Satsu admitted finally.

"It's worse than just being 'a little weird…'" Takk explained as the redhead finally broke eye contact and moved further down the street with his two companions.

"How so?"

"I don't think he's human."

* * *

The sight of a hundred-plus human teenagers in terrible costumes crammed into a single dimly-lit gymnasium dancing about to horrible thumping noises that had somehow been mistakenly classified as music was acid-etching itself into Ulquiorra's brain as a terrible memory that would haunt his nightmares for the rest of his decidedly _un_-natural life.

"This is my punishment for my sins during the war…" he muttered as his green eyes scanned the room. "I am beginning to wish you had left me as naught but a pile of black ash, woman."

"It's not _that_ bad!" Orihime tried to encourage him. "Smile, talk to people, make new friends, try dancing; you never know if you'll like something or not until you try it."

"False; I am one-hundred percent certain I will not enjoy this. I will not tear you away from whatever enjoyment _you_ may find here, but I am going home." said Ulquiorra, turning and heading back for the door.

Orihime reached out and grabbed him by his blue cape, holding it tightly in an attempt to dissuade him from leaving.

"Batman never runs from anything." she told him playfully.

"I am _not_ Batman." was his stiff reply.

"I didn't think the Demon Bat of Los Noches ran from anything, either." said Orihime simply, stopping Ulquiorra in his tracks. Despite how 'air-headed' Orihime often acted, that singular comment had been a precision strike against the _cuarto's_ pride and now he could not leave no matter how much he might wish to.

_Clever girl…_

Mechanically, Ulquiorra slowly turned back around and returned to Orihime's side, refusing to allow the woman to see how deep the verbal jab had cut him.

"If I can endure a trip to the mall with the likes of Tyn and Grimmjow, I suppose I can endure this." he said evenly. "However, I would like to go on record and state that this 'music' is a crime against humanity far worse than anything I may have perpetrated during the war."

"Okay, so _maybe_ this song is bad, but I'm sure the next one will be better." chirped Orihime optimistically. "I'll go grab us some punch and then I'll introduce you to some of my friends. You okay with waiting here by yourself for a minute?"

"I will be fine…Yoruichi."

"Cat-Woman." corrected Orihime. "I'm Cat-Woman, remember?"

"Is that not what I said?" asked Ulquiorra stoically, raising an eyebrow. Orihime gave a light laugh at his comment as she headed into the sea of people looking for the refreshment table.

Ulquiorra surveyed the room and the mass of writhing bodies once more, making a concentrated effort to tune out the horrible thumping noise emanating from various speakers set up throughout the gymnasium. The pale Espada decided that as long as he stuck to the edges of the gymnasium and away from the central mass of seizure-esque behavior that constituted dancing, he should be able to tolerate the evening and keep Orihime happy. Sure, she planned on introducing him to a few of her friends, but given her love of talking, it was doubtful he'd ever need to say much more than a simple "hello" to any of them.

"Oh wow, someone actually came as the _goofy_ Batman!" said a voice beside him and Ulquiorra turned his head slightly to glare at the offending teen, also clad in a Batman costume, though his was the black costume more commonly seen in movies; the same interpretation of the character Ulquiorra would have dressed as had he actually been given a choice.

Though, the Espada thought that he would have picked out a much more-professional and less-cheap version than the teen had.

"Not by choice, I assure you." said Ulquiorra finally, remaining calm and diplomatic. "This costume was hand-picked by a…friend."

"You must have some weird friends!" scoffed the teenager, one of his black bat ears drooping to the side as he spoke.

"I will say this only once; call Orihime Inoue 'weird' again and you shall regret it." warned Ulquiorra quietly.

"Oh, you were talking about _Orihime_!" exclaimed the boy. "Oh man, I didn't realize that; no, man, it's cool; she's a friend of mine! I'm Keigo Asano, a classmate of hers."

"Ulquiorra Cifer." said the Espada curtly, hoping the other male would take the hint and leave him alone.

"So, are you dating her or something?" asked an oblivious Keigo. "I mean, I know a few guys have asked her out and she keeps turning them down, and if she brought you to the party with her…"

"We are just friends for the moment."

"Ah, come on, you can tell me!" pressured Keigo with a grin, "We're both guys, right? You and her are a thing, aren't you?"

"I do not know what you are referring to and I would prefer to not continue this line of discussion."

"There's nothing to be ashamed about!" said Keigo. "Orihime is a major babe and you should be happy to have her! Though I can't figure out what she'd choose your kinda creepy Goth-vibe-thing to my awesomeness, but hey, whatever!"

"You have completely misunderstood my relationship with Orihime and insulted me; I would ask that you take your leave of me now and go find someone else to annoy before I become cross." stated Ulquiorra flatly, knowing that his tone would be enough to convince any intelligent, reasonable human being to go elsewhere.

How unfortunate it was that Keigo Asano seemed to be neither intelligent or reasonable.

"Chill out, man!" laughed Keigo. "It's a _party_; learn to laugh and loosen up! It's all good, bro!"

"I am most certainly _not_ your 'bro.'"

"I get it; you're kinda shy. You just move to Karakura or something?" continued Keigo. "Either way, you're in luck because I am _the_ guy to help you out: I can introduce you to people, I can teach you how to have fun, and I can make you _almost_ as cool as I am."

"I neither want nor require your assistance, thank you." said Ulquiorra coldly, but the teen didn't seem to be listening.

"See, I am the life of _any_ party because _I _know how to have fun! Chicks dig guys like that and if you're going to be dating Orihime, we've got to do some _major_ work on your attitude and people skills."

"If you are not going to go away, would you at least be silent?" asked the arrancar.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm talking about! You gotta ditch this anti-social thing you've got going on and-" began Keigo, only to have Ulquiorra cut him off by grabbing the collar of his shirt that wasn't quite covered by his plastic 'armored' chest piece and lifting him up in the air just enough to be eye-level with the former Espada.

"Please be silent or I shall have to hurt you." stated the Demon Bat of Los Noches icily.

"Okay, okay, I get it!" exclaimed Keigo. "I'll lay off!"

"Good. Thank you." said Ulquiorra, setting the teen back down and turning away to await Orihime's return. Asano didn't move from his spot beside Ulquiorra, but at least he was finally, mercifully, silent.

For a moment, anyway.

"Guess I should have came as Robin, huh, bro?"

Ulquiorra just sighed and facepalmed.

* * *

If there was one godforsaken holiday that Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez could do without, it was Halloween.

His first exposure to the human version of the annual event had been last year, the first human Halloween any of the Espada had experienced. Oh, at first it had sounded pretty good: horror movies on television, celebrations of death, disemboweling vegetables for no apparent reason… All fun, wholesome activities that he could really get behind…except for one _major_ nuisance that everyone had neglected to warn him about; the hordes of goddamn children and their incessant door-to-door begging for candy.

Grimmjow had spent most of that first Halloween chasing the few kids in the neighborhood down the apartment hall, away from his door and out of the building entirely and the _sexta_ decided that this year, he was _not_ going to work that damn hard again.

Hence the "Do Not Disturb: Fuck Off and Die" sign he'd made and taped to his door.

The idea was that kids would see that and would leave him alone out of fear for their miserable little lives. The idea was that he could enjoy a nice, peaceful evening watching television without interruption. The idea was that _this_ Halloween would be different from last year.

Except that the goddamned kids kept knocking on his door, anyway.

Grimmjow wasn't sure if they were illiterate, suicidal, or just plain stupid, but he was rapidly reaching the end of his oh-so-limited patience.

Having just finished chasing another brat away from his door, the Panther Lord flopped down on his couch and let out a long, irritated sigh as he wished everyone would just leave him the fuck alone. He reached for the beer sitting on his coffee table and took a long swig as he un-paused the DVD of his greatest hockey moments, reflecting on yet another way the holiday had fucked him over this year; there were barely any horror movies on television at all, none of them any good. Hell, he'd seen more Christmas-themed shows than anything while channel surfing!

Somebody needed to die for this affront and if Grimmjow had known who to hold responsible, he'd have been at their house ripping their lungs out through their skull, consequences be damned.

Still, watching the DVD of his greatest hits from his all-too-short NHL career always brought a twisted smile to his face and he could literally _feel_ his blood pressure going back down to a somewhat-normal level as he laughed at the violence on the screen.

And then someone knocked at his door again…

"_That's it! _" Grimmjow roared as he jumped up from the couch, "Someone is about to _die_!"

He stalked over to his apartment door and yanked the wooden slab open, fully prepared to murder whoever was on the other side…but there was no one there.

"What…the…fuck?" he muttered, confused. He felt something brush against his legs and looked down just in time to see a black tail heading into his apartment.

That goddamn black cat again…

Yep, something was going to die, alright.

In fact, Grimmjow suddenly thought he understood why that feather-brained jackass, Tyn, had resorted to eating his neighbor's cat so long ago.

"It's the end of the world, furball!" bellowed Grimmjow, slamming the door shut as he whirled to face the unwelcome intruder in his sanctum, an intruder who was currently perched on the back of his couch. The cat didn't seem to be either impressed or intimidated by his promise of pain and suffering and with a feral roar, Grimmjow launched himself at the feline.

The lithe little black cat deftly sidestepped the humanoid missile, cocking it's head to the side in what _almost_ looked like amusement as it watched Grimmjow go crashing to the ground and rolling across the floor.

For a brief moment, Grimmjow even thought he heard someone laughing.

He was the only person in the apartment, though, so any laughter he heard had to be imagined and inconsequential at the moment; the only thing that mattered with flaying that damnedable cat alive! He got back to his feet, growling as he turned his gaze back to the couch and his target, only to see that the cat was no longer there.

The frustrated Espada did a full spin, searching for any sign of the tiny demon, but there was nothing; wherever the cat had disappeared to, it had done so swiftly and silently.

"I _will_ find you, you little bastard!" promised Grimmjow as he began to tear through the house, checking the bathroom, dumping the clothes hamper into the floor, ravaging the bedroom, emptying the closet, crawling under the bed… "When I get my hands on you, I'm going to-"

"It's Halloween, and you're _still _watching your hockey movie?" asked a voice from the living room.

"Yoruichi Shihōin…" hissed Grimmjow as he climbed out from under his bed, temporarily halting the search for the fleabag.

"And the pumpkin you put out on your balcony? I don't think you understand how to properly carve a jack-o-lantern; it looks like you just shoved a fist through it and yanked out the innards."

"That's typically how I eviscerate people and shinigami…" came Grimmjow's retort as he re-entered the living room and angrily plucked an overly-large dust bunny from his blue hair, "If it works for them, why wouldn't it work on a stupid pumpkin?"

"That's not… Ah, forget it." sighed Yoruichi, grabbing the brown bottle sitting on the coffee table and taking a swig of Grimmjow's beer. The _sexta_ twitched violently and clenched his fists angrily at the sight, seething with rage; first the goddamn cat snuck into his apartment and now the habitual nudist…

She wasn't _entirely_ nude this time; she was at least wearing a top, although that top was Grimmjow's own hockey jersey and did absolutely nothing to cover the lower half of her body.

"This really _is_ a cute shirt…" Yoruichi remarked, making a show of feeling the fabric.

"It's a _jersey_, woman!" snapped Grimmjow angrily. "And put some goddamn pants on!"

"Fine…" sighed Yoruichi, getting up from the couch and pushing past Grimmjow to go into his bedroom.

"Wait just a goddamn minute-" he began as he tried to follow her, only to have the door shut in his face.

"Now, now, Grimmjow; a gentleman always waits outside while a lady dresses. You _do_ want to preserve my modesty, don't you?" called the woman from the other side.

"What modesty?" snorted Grimmjow. "You're a psychotic nudist with a penchant for breaking and entering!"

"I assure you, nothing was broken during my infiltration of your apartment." said Yoruichi smoothly as she opened the door finally, revealing herself to be wearing a pair of Grimmjow's sweatpants and some socks.

"What, not even going to bother to deny the rest of it?" sneered Grimmjow.

"Well, 'psychotic' may be a bit strong of a word… Works for _you_, but I think 'eccentric' might be a better choice for me."

"Why the hell are you here?" asked the exasperated Espada finally. "I only _threatened_ the kids; I haven't hurt anyone…yet."

"The 'yet' part is what worries me…" said the ex-captain. "Besides, I thought you might find Halloween marginally more enjoyable if you had some company."

"No thanks, get out."

"Nope, sorry." said Yoruichi, "We're going to watch some scary movies, eat some popcorn, and enjoy the holiday like _normal_ people."

"No, _we_ aren't." Grimmjow corrected her bitterly. "Besides, I don't have any popcorn."

"Well, I'm still not leaving until you humor me and watch a couple of movies like a _semi_-normal person at least." Yoruichi stated matter-of-factly as she headed to the small kitchen and began searching through the cupboards. "So you find us a scary movie and I'll find us some snacks."

"Bossy little…" growled Grimmjow under his breath.

"And I mean _scary_, too; something that even _you_ have a hard time watching."

"Nothing scares me!" declared Grimmjow boldly, puffing out his chest in a boisterous show of pride.

"Grimmjow, take this seriously or I will turn all my years of experience as an intelligence operative against you and uncover every dirty little secret you have and share them with the others." Yoruichi promised him with a disturbingly polite smile. "Now, where do you keep the chips?"

"Don't have any, you goddamned evil little witch…" muttered Grimmjow as he reluctantly began searching through his stack of DVDs in defeat.

"I see… Well, I suppose we'll just have to improvise."

Grimmjow found the one movie that had given him nightmares and pulled it out as Yoruichi made her way back to the couch with a couple of fresh beers and a bowl full of…something. She sat the items down on the coffee table and turned to the Espada, who quietly handed her the DVD without making eye contact.

"_Child's Play_?" she asked, surprised.

"Hey, that fucking doll was creepy, okay?!" snapped Grimmjow defensively.

"Hey, I'm not here to judge..." soothed Yoruichi as she took the disc from the case and put it into the player, taking the hockey DVD and putting it away. Grimmjow flopped back on the couch, sulking, as Yoruichi went and turned out all the lights before sitting down beside him and retrieving her bowl of snacks.

"Can't believe I let you talk me into-" began Grimmjow, only to be silenced as Yoruichi crammed a handful of the dry snacks into his mouth. Surprised, all the Panther Lord could do was to eat the crunchy treats, making a face as he swallowed the snack; he didn't have any chips or popcorn in the house, so what the hell was in the bowl? He grabbed his beer and popped the top off before peering over to take a closer look inside the bowl, only to be surprised by what he saw.

"Is that fucking _Meow-Mix_?!"

Yoruichi didn't answer, instead popping a handful of the snacks into her own mouth and chewing contentedly as the movie started. Grimmjow just stared at her for a moment before he shrugged and grabbed himself another handful.

Goddamn, Halloween was one weird fucking night.

* * *

In the many long months since first arriving in Karakura, the Espada had all made great strides in moving forward and growing as individuals, sans Grimmjow, and their growth was helping them better blend in with the humans around them. Still, despite all their progress in adapting to their new lives, fragments of their past remained that could pose a serious problem if they were triggered.

The fact that two shinigami were attempting to trail Halibel and Tyn quietly was one such trigger as neither of the two arrancar were particularly fond of feeling hunted.

Thus far, Halibel had managed to restrain herself from whirling around and confronting the soul reapers by focusing on the child currently under her protection; as long as the shinigami were nearby, it was an added layer of protection for Emi and that made their presence tolerable.

Tyn, on the other hand, was grinding his teeth and growling as he clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly; while the two shinigami were a mild annoyance to Halibel, the _tercera_ realized that they were drudging up uncomfortable memories for Tyn of his time in exile, being hunted by Aizen's extermination squads.

"Calm down…" Halibel attempted to soothe him, "It's annoying, but harmless; they don't know what we are and there's little reason to be concerned. Just ignore them and they'll lose interest and go away."

"Are you talking bout those two ghost guys?" asked Emi, looking behind them. "I don't see anybody!"

"Oh, they're back there alright…" hissed Tyn, ignoring Halibel's logic. "Following us, trying to hide in the dark…_stalking_ us. The last time I caught something trying to track me, I-"

"Hush." Halibel interrupted him sharply, knowing full well that the story would end with a graphic description of blood and carnage that was completely unsuited for a child's ears. "We can't have any of that in front of Emi."

"Then cover her eyes and ears…" growled Tyn. "I'll make it quick."

"Make what quick?" asked Emi inquisitively. " I don't understand-"

The loud, reverberating roar of a hollow startled the girl, cutting her comment short as she yelped and hid behind Tia. It was far too easy to determine exactly _where_ the sound had come from and the two adults stepped back into combat stances as a brown-skinned, mask-wearing winged serpent came screaming down from the night sky, aiming straight for Emi.

_Damn_, thought Halibel bitterly, _worrying about those two idiots distracted both of us from even knowing it was up there!_

The hollow's cry was answered by the battle cry of someone else, however, as a massive blade appeared out of nowhere and came down diagonally through the serpent's leathery neck. The separated head began to dissipate into spirit particles as it fell, disintegrating completely before it hit the ground, and Ichigo Kurosaki shouldered his oversized zanpaktou as he turned to face the two Espada.

"Sorry bout that…" he said casually. "He almost got away from me."

"He killed the monster!" Emi exclaimed. "Is _he_ a good guy?"

"You can see me?" asked Ichigo in surprise. "Yeah, I'm called a 'shinigami' and we're the good guys."

"Miss Halle Bell, is he _really_ a good guy?" asked the girl timidly, looking up at Tia for confirmation.

"It's okay, Emi." she told her, "This is Ichigo; he's… an acquaintance of ours."

"You're welcome, _acquaintance_." Ichigo told the blonde sourly. "Sheesh, would it kill you to _try_ and be nice for once?"

"Teenagers have such smart mouths…" commented Tyn dryly, which served only to make Kurosaki narrow his eyes in irritation.

"So are you friends with the other two ghost guys?" asked Emi before Ichigo could retort.

"What other two 'ghost guys?'" asked the substitute shinigami, momentarily forgetting about Tyn's insult.

"We're being tailed by two of your shinigami butt-buddies." growled Tyn. "They've been following us for three blocks now."

"Why?" asked Ichigo, suddenly becoming alarmed. "What did you do?"

"Not whatever you might be thinking…" said Halibel, taking over. "They were slacking off, Emi spoke to them, and they've been following us ever since."

"You punched the funny one, Miss Halle Belle!" Emi reminded her brightly.

"He deserved it." stated the blonde dismissively, as if it were but a trivial detail. "Look, we're going to take Emi to a couple more houses before we take her home; can you get those two idiots to leave us alone or not?"

"Fine…" sighed Kurosaki, gathering his spiritual pressure underneath his feet and rising into the air, "I'll have a word with them and see what their deal is."

"He can fly!" gasped Emi in surprise as the shinigami continued up and away, heading off towards the two slackers. "How can he fly? I want to fly!"

"Magic." said Halibel simply, hoping the girl would let the subject die.

"That's _so_ cool!" Emi gushed. "Can all of the shin…shiny…shinygami fly? Tell me about them! I wanna know everything!"

"It's a long, weird story, kid…" said Tyn, intervening on his roommate's behalf, "Too long to tell it tonight. She'll have to explain it some other time."

"Aw, man!"

* * *

Once upon a time, Ichigo had looked forward to Halloween; as a child, he'd loved the costumes and candy and good-natured scares to be had throughout the course of the evening. He loved the scary movies and the spooky feeling of listening to the wind howl all night long.

Looking back _now_, though, he realized that it had never been the wind howling outside.

His life had changed forever the night he met Rukia Kuchiki and Halloween was just another casualty of his lost innocence; he knew the truth now about the origin of the holiday and that there were in fact _real_ monsters lurking in the dark. Gone were the simple days of costumes, candy, and fun and in their place was a horrifying truth and a responsibility to spend each Halloween out on patrol to protect as many innocent souls as he could.

In short, the once-beloved holiday had become a pain in the ass that the teen could do without.

It didn't help matters knowing that Karakura was now home to a handful of former Espada, and it made things even worse when he had to do things to cover for them.

He knew who the two 'slackers' were before he even found them; he had been briefed on which shinigami would be added to the Karakura patrol for the night and while he hadn't recognized most of the names, two had stood out.

Takk and Satsu, Squad 5.

The two brothers made no attempt to conceal themselves anymore as Ichigo approached their location, with the younger twin, Satsu, giving his trademarked friendly-yet-goofy grin as he greeted the teen.

"'Sup, Ichigo?" he asked. "How's it going tonight?"

"You tell me…" began the substitute as he touched down on the rooftop with them, "Explain to me _why_ you're following…_innocent_ people around like this?"

His inner hollow was positively _rolling_ in riotous laughter at the use of the word 'innocent' to describe the two arrancar.

"They can totally see us!" Satsu explained excitedly. "And they know what we are! Takk thinks that's kind of weird, and it kinda is, but-"

"The woman also punched numbnuts here with enough force to send him back about five feet." Takk interjected, "No normal human of her size and build should be able to do that to a shinigami. _Then _there's the problem that the two adults don't have _any_ detectable spiritual pressure at all despite being able to see us… The kid has a little, but it feels like the other two don't even _exist_."

"And?" asked Ichigo, playing it cool and pretending to be unimpressed. "This is Karakura; this town is pretty much the epicenter for everything weird in the world. I don't see a reason to be overly concerned with them."

"See, Takk?" began Satsu. "I told you it was nothing to worry-"

"Look, with all due respect since you're an acting-lieutenant and friends with our captain, cut the crap and be straight with us." said Takk curtly, folding his arms over his chest defiantly. "I'm not stupid; I saw you talking with them down there. You know exactly who and _what_ they are, don't you?"

"Why is nothing ever easy with you two?" growled Ichigo as he mentally raced for an acceptable answer that would keep them from blabbing about their find to the entire Seireitei. If only Takk was as carefree as his younger brother, that would make things a hell of a lot easier…

"Sorry." offered Satsu with a shrug. "_I _still think there's nothing to worry about, but if you could just give me her name and maybe put in a good word for me…"

"Fairly certain she's not interested in you…" Takk said dryly, giving Ichigo another moment to piece together a convincing lie, "Also fairly certain that her companion wouldn't just sit idly by as you tried to pick up his woman."

"I'm telling you, I think she likes me. I'm sure her friend will understand…" said Satsu.

A cover story began to form in Ichigo's head as he listened to the two siblings bicker about Satsu's Halibel-centric delusions and while the two Espada would probably find it insulting, it would ultimately keep their secret safe.

If he could convince Takk to buy into it, of course.

"She doesn't even _know_ you, much less _like_ you, dumbass; you're lucky she didn't knock any of your teeth out!" Takk explained to his brother. "And her 'friend' looks like the kind of guy that'd try and rip your spine out for messing with his woman!"

"Coming between two captain-class shinigami does tend to end badly…" Ichigo agreed, making a show of giving a reluctant sigh as if he didn't want to reveal the 'truth' about Tyn and Tia.

"Say what now?" asked Satsu, clearly confused.

"Captain-class?" echoed Takk, sounding equally lost.

"By now I assume you're familiar with the story of Kisuke Urahara's fall from grace with the Gotei 13, courtesy of Aizen, right?" asked Ichigo.

"Well, yeah… I think _everyone_ knows that story by now."

"They don't know the _entire_ story…" Ichigo began ominously. "Look, before I go any further, you two have to understand that this is _strictly confidential_; you are not to speak of it to anyone, even each other, _ever_. Only the captains know about this, and even _I _was only informed out of necessity."

"Wait, why didn't Renji tell us about this?" asked Satsu, earning him a bonk on the head from his brother.

"What part of 'strictly confidential' didn't you understand?" growled Takk. "That means 'top secret,' you nitwit!"

"Calm down, guys…" Ichigo soothed them. "Renji couldn't tell you because it's a very 'need-to-know' sort of thing, and you didn't need to know."

"So…they're captain-class shinigami…but I don't recognize them." said Takk slowly, almost accusingly.

"Captain-class refers to their strength, not necessarily that they _were_ captains. Aizen spent many decades setting up the pieces of his grand plan, and part of that plan was getting his subordinates Gin Ichimaru and Kaname Tousen into positions of power within the Seireitei."

"Yeah, they were the captains of Squad 3 and Squad 9." agreed Satsu. "That's pretty powerful."

"They weren't the _first_ choices for those positions, though…" Ichigo told them, keeping his voice low to maintain the illusion of sharing a secret, "The two individuals you were following, Tyn and Tia, were the front runners for those two positions when they opened up, and that made them a hindrance to Aizen's plans."

"He framed them and had them expelled from the Seireitei…" Takk concluded. "Kind of like the Urahara deal."

"Not quite…" Ichigo corrected him, "Forty-two years ago, evidence surfaced from an 'anonymous source' that these two had conspired with the missing criminal Kisuke Urahara during his hollowfication experiments. Central 46 judged them guilty and they were thrown into the Maggot's Nest underground prison and left to rot there until after the war when the truth about Aizen finally came out."

"And when they were released, they were too pissed to rejoin the Gotei 13, weren't they?" Takk asked. "That's how they knew what we are, and that's why they spoke the term 'shinigami' with a kind of…disgust."

"Exactly." agreed the substitute readily, "They chose to leave the Soul Society entirely and had special gigais constructed for them to conceal their spiritual pressure. They've been living in Karakura ever since the war and the only reason _I_ was told of this was because I live here and have a much higher chance of running into them."

"And clearly you have ran into them before…" Takk pointed out.

"Happened a few months back." lied Kurosaki, "I realized they could see me and knew what I was, but when I asked them _how_, they told me to mind my own business…they just phrased it much more _colorfully_."

"And then you went back to the Seireitei and started asking around, and you were let in on the secret." Takk surmised, scratching his chin. "Yeah, I can see why this is being kept quiet; unjustly imprisoning two would-be captains for forty-plus years isn't the sort of thing you'd really want to advertise to the world."

"And they don't like to talk about it, either." Ichigo said. "They hate to be reminded of it and they adamantly refuse to tell me about their time in the Gotei 13."

"I wouldn't want to talk about it either…" Satsu said, shuddering. "Imprisoned for forty years on bogus charges… I think I'd be pretty mad."

"I don't think 'pretty mad' even comes close to how _I'd_ feel…" Takk said. "No wonder they're bitter. Jesus, I feel like shit now for bothering them."

"Yeah, really." Satsu agreed. "We should probably go apologize and-"

"Take it from me, they'd prefer to just be left alone." Ichigo interrupted him. "They tolerate me because they sympathize with the story of Rukia's sham trial and my part in clearing her, but they don't really play well with anyone else."

"Well, you tell 'em, then." said Satsu. "I mean, we didn't know."

"Moral of the story; Central 46 is composed of the dumbest asshats in the Soul Society." Takk growled. "But yeah, tell them we're sorry. We won't bother them again."

* * *

"Can I take the blindfold off yet?"

"Not just yet…" Anrak answered smoothly as he led Neliel through the dark corridor of the Dangai, holding her hand to guide her as he followed the _Jigokuchō_, more informally known as a 'Hell Butterfly,' to the end of the tunnel and what lay beyond.

He hadn't intended on going to the world of the living tonight, but he'd changed his mind after seeing how much the memories of Nel's hollow past haunted her. She needed this, whether or not she realized it.

"I have been to Karakura before, you know…" Nel informed him with a teasing tone as she dutifully trudged through the darkness with her captain.

"Who said anything about Karakura?" asked Anrak as they neared the end of the Dangai and the exit to the human world.

"Where else would we be going?"

"Dunno." shrugged the shinigami. "We'll find out when we get there. Besides, I thought you liked surprises."

"If _you_ don't know where we're going either, then why do _I_ have to wear the blindfold?"

"Captain's prerogative." grinned Anrak, squeezing his wife's hand. "Besides, one of us needs to be able to see the Hell Butterfly so we don't get lost."

"Shall I assume this is some kind a romantic getaway for a few hours?" asked the ex-Espada as they finally reached the end of the tunnel.

"If we were in Squad 11, maybe…" answered Anrak as he stepped through the gateway and into the world of the living. "Watch your step."

The blindfolded lieutenant stepped through behind him, still clutching his hand tightly as she took her first step out into the night sky of the human world.

"Oh, nice…" Anrak commented as he surveyed the city below them. "I think you'll like this surprise."

"Can I take the blindfold off _now_, then?" asked Nel, reaching up towards her face with her free hand.

"Nope." answered her captain, playfully swatting her left hand down as he finally released her right. "That's _my_ job. Now, close your eyes."

Anrak stepped around behind her and began to gently untie the dark cloth that had been wrapped around Neliel's eyes, being careful not to accidentally pull any of her long, green hair that had somehow become entangled in the knot. He slowly lowered the piece of cloth and stepped up to stand beside his lieutenant, grasping her hand tightly once more as he released the black fabric and allowed it to fall free, fluttering down to the ground on the night winds.

"_Now_ you can look."

Neliel opened her eyes and dropped her jaw at the sight of the city laid out before her, a city with towering structures that dwarfed anything Karakura had to offer and _thousands_ of other smaller buildings dotting the landscape. Countless cars moved about on the streets down below and the sidewalks were filled with people meandering about their daily lives.

"Where are we?" asked Neliel breathlessly.

"Like I said, I don't have a clue." answered her captain honestly. "When I requested a _Jigokuchō_ to lead us through the Dangai, my only specific order was that it take us somewhere that had no Soul Reapers guarding it tonight."

"How can we _not_ have anyone stationed in a city this massive?"

"The world is a big place, _koibito_, and we're still rebuilding our numbers from the war." said Anrak, giving her hand another gentle squeeze. "It's All Hollow's Eve, and these people need someone to protect them until the night passes."

"That's why you brought me here…" said Nel, realization dawning on her as Anrak nodded in confirmation.

"You seemed so upset over your past and the sins you committed prior to evolving into an arrancar that I didn't think you'd be completely satisfied with just standing back and letting the squad do all the work tonight."

"I did so many horrible things through the years…" Nel murmured. "So many lives stolen…"

"And now's your chance to repay your debt to those lost souls." Anrak told her. "You and I are the only Soul Reapers here tonight. These people need us."

As if to drive the point home, a hollow roar could be heard echoing down the canyon-like streets running between the massive skyscrapers.

"You brought me all the way here, just to ease my conscience…" Neliel smiled softly at her captain.

"Of course." answered Anrak. "So, how do you want to do this?"

"Let's split up…" Nel answered after a moment's thought. "We can cover more ground that way."

"I'll take the right half of the city, then." agreed the shinigami before giving her a cocky smirk. "Bet I can rack up more hollows than you."

"You're making this a contest?" asked Nel incredulously.

"Hey, you can take the shinigami out of Squad 11, but you can't take Squad 11 out of the shinigami." said Anrak with a grin. "Of course, I understand if you're too _intimidated_ by your chances against me…"

"You're impossible…" Nel chuckled, shaking her head at him.

"So you give up, then? I win by default?" teased Anrak.

"Not a chance." answered Neliel, sticking her tongue out at him before vanishing, using her _sonido_ to speed down to the city below and began her hunt for the hollows prowling the streets.

Anrak watched her go, silently musing on if it was morally right of him to goad her into treating it like a contest; atonement for one's sins was a serious thing, but he didn't want Nel to lose her smile and her joy by focusing too much on her dark past as a hollow. After debating it for a few seconds, he concluded that he'd done the right thing, the _necessary_ thing, in order to preserve Nel's happiness.

And in the end, it didn't matter which of them would win because the _true_ winners would be the people down below who would be blissfully unaware of the horrors that had been hiding in the shadows, waiting to prey on their children.

_Stop stalling and get to work, baka_, came the irritated voice of _Kage Shitsukoi_, his zanpaktou. _If that green-haired hollow bitch beats us, I swear I'll never let you hear the end of it!_

_**Alright, alright, I'm going!**_

* * *

"You told them _what?_"

Ichigo resisted the instinctive urge to flinch under Halibel's icy tone and he didn't dare repeat himself since he could already tell the _tercera_ was pissed at his choice of a cover story. She narrowed her sea-green eyes dangerously, prompting the substitute Soul Reaper to hold up his hands and try to stall her from punching his lights out just long enough to explain his reasoning.

"Look, it was the best way to put an end to their questions and suspicions, okay? I'm sorry if you're not happy with the idea of people thinking you two are shinigami, but it's better than telling them the truth and hoping they'd stay quiet." he said, trying to appeal to the menacing blonde's logic. "They believed the cover story completely and they even told me to _apologize_ to you for stalking you!"

"Unbelievable…" sighed Halibel, her posture relaxing just enough to indicate the urge to punch the teen had passed.

Ichigo suspected Tyn was in a less-forgiving mood, though.

The redhead stood a few feet away from Ichigo and Halibel, keeping their small ward, Emi, just out of earshot of the conversation, but the teen knew full well that Tyn's sharp ears had allowed him to hear every word perfectly. To his credit, he wasn't growling or making any threatening gestures at the moment as he was too busy scanning the night skies and sniffing the scents carried by on the wind; he may have allowed himself to be too distracted to sense an approaching hollow earlier, but he was on full alert now and nothing would get remotely close to the child without the _quinto_ knowing about it in advance.

"As long as they leave us alone and it doesn't lead to people asking us uncomfortable questions, I suppose it's tolerable." said Halibel finally. "It's a fairly clever excuse, I'll give you that."

"Thanks, I think…" Ichigo said, not sure if he should feel honored to get such marginal praise from the prideful Espada or irritated that she couldn't be bothered to say a simple "thank you."

Tyn slowly ambled up to them with Emi in tow, aware that the conversation was effectively over and it was now safe for the child to hear anything else that might be said.

"If everything's settled, can we go home now?" asked Tyn, his voice barely friendlier than a growl as he gave the shinigami a quick glance, malice reflecting in his eyes.

Yep, he was definitely pissed.

"Aw, just a few more houses, please?" Emi pleaded, squeezing the adult's hand and pouting, giving her best cutesy face in an attempt to sway her two guardians into giving in.

Unfortunately for her, the heartless arrancar were immune to a child's charms.

"We promised we'd have you home by eight, kid, and it's nearly eight." Tyn said, trying to force an apologetic smile that looked decidedly-unnatural on his face.

"Sorry, Emi, but he's right." Tia said softly, doing an infinitely-better job of pretending to be sorry with a well-practiced look of regret etched onto her face. "You don't want your mother to worry, do you?"

"No, I guess not…" Emi agreed reluctantly. "But I'm just having _so_ much fun that I don't want to go home just yet!"

"So are we, dear." Tia lied, ruffling the child's hair, "But a promise is a promise."

"I know…" Emi sighed in defeat. "Maybe next year we can stay out later!"

"Maybe so." Halibel said smoothly, but Ichigo noticed just the faintest twitch in the corner of her eyes at the prospect of 'next year.'

"And don't forget, we need to keep it a secret that you saw ghosts and monsters tonight…" Tyn interjected, his tone suggesting that his irritation with Ichigo's story still hadn't passed just yet.

"But why?" asked Emi. "I can't wait to tell mommy all the cool stuff we saw!"

"Because most people can't see ghosts and monsters…" Ichigo jumped in, squatting down to be eye level with the child. "The few who can are generally kids, just like you. Adults don't believe in ghosts and if they don't believe, that can't see them. They'll just think your imagination is running wild or that you had a nightmare."

"Oh…" said Emi slowly. "I guess that makes sense."

"But we know what happened." Tia comforted her. "We'll always know. It'll be our little secret, okay?"

"Okay!" Emi agreed, brightening up at the prospect of sharing a secret with 'Miss Halle Belle.'

"And since the monsters will be out hunting until the sun comes up, Ichigo here is going to sit on the roof all night and keep all the bad ghosts away for you." Halibel said, patting the child's head as Ichigo frowned.

"Whoa, wait a minute here…" he protested. "I get that you're concerned for the kid, I do, but I don't think that's necessary. We have almost two thousand Soul Reapers scattered around the world tonight to try and protect people, with seven in Karakura alone…eight including me! She'll be just fine."

Halibel narrowed her eyes again and folded her arms across her chest, prompting Ichigo to flinch slightly. He knew that stance and that look all _too_ well; he'd seen Rukia do it more times than he could count, he's seen Yoruichi do it a few times, and even Rangiku had used it once or twice. It was the look of a woman silently telling a man that he would do as he was told or suffer dire consequences, the look of "do as I tell you or else."

He forced himself to meet her icy gaze evenly, refusing to back down; after all, he had defeated Aizen, had looked death itself in the eye on numerous occassions, had saved the world and the Seireitei from certain annihilation…there was absolutely _no _way he was going to be intimidated into doing Halibel's bidding!

Oh, sure, he had allowed Rukia to use that look on his successfully before, but that was different; Rukia was his girlfriend and had one hell of a jump kick! He'd caved to Yoruichi under the look before, long ago during his training for bankai, but that too had been different since lives had been on the line. This was _completely_ different in every regard and he would _not_ be bullied by the blonde standing before him!

Halibel's intimidating glare didn't relent in the slightest and Ichigo felt his blood began to freeze as a cold chill crept up his spine.

"No way, I'm _not_ doing it!" he choked out defiantly, trying to find solace in the knowledge that all he had to do was stand strong and he could win this battle of wills. This was _just_ Halibel, not Rukia, not Yoruichi, not Rangiku…

Her eyes narrowed just a tiny fraction more and Ichigo gulped nervously as sweat began to form on his brow. Mentally, he kept reminding himself that it was _just_ Halibel…

Halibel, the former _tercera_ Espada.

Halibel, the merciless Shark Queen.

Halibel, who had a reputation for ruthlessly beating the men who dared challenge her authority.

Halibel, who would likely twist his head off with her bare hands and kick it from here to the far side of town like a soccer ball…

"Fine…" he sighed, breaking eye contact and looking away. "I'll keep everything away from your building."

"Thank you, Mister Ichigo!" Emi cheered, hugging him. For her part, the terrifying Espada favored Ichigo with an almost-nonexistent nod of her head.

Then again, Ichigo thought he might have just _imagined_ seeing the gesture as a way to console himself.

"Can we _please_ go home now?" asked Tyn irritably, and Halibel favored her roommate with what appeared to be a genuine smile, probably her first of the evening, as she reached down and grasped Emi's small hand tightly.

"Let's go."

* * *

It was eight o'clock on the dot when Tyn and Tia finally arrived back at their apartment complex and the tenth floor to return mi to her mother. Miyo opened the door and welcomed them back, only to have Emi excited shove her overflowing candy back up in her face to boast about her haul. Halibel, at least, managed to fake a smile suggesting that she found the antics cute, but Tyn looked utterly bored and more than ready to simply walk down the hall to his own apartment unit and be done with the entire evening.

"That's a pretty big haul, dear…" Miyo was complementing her daughter. "Looks like you had a fun time!"

"It was _awesome_!" Emi gushed. "Miss Halle Belle and Mister Tyn are really nice and we went to a lot of houses and they told me a cool ghost story 'bout Halloween!"

"That's great, sweetie." Miyo told her daughter affectionately. "Now, isn't there something you want to tell Tia and Tyn before you go inside and wash up for bed?"

"Wait just a minute!" the child exclaimed, running around her mother and into the apartment before anyone could move, "I'll be right back!"

Halibel and Miyo looked at each other and shrugged simultaneously as Tyn just leaned back against the wall, folding his arms over his chest and drumming his fingers against his bicep impatiently…at least until his roommate shot him a warning glare with a decidedly-unfriendly smile, prompting the redhead to stand up straight and at least _pretend_ to be interested in what Emi was up to.

It was another couple of minutes before Emi returned, with two medium-sized Ziploc bags filled with candy that she offered to the two Espada.

"See? I told you I'd share my candy with you!" Emi said excitedly. Tyn and Tia accepted the offered bags with a gruff "thanks, kid" and a polite "thank you, sweetie."

"Go ahead, try some!" Emi urged them. The two arrancar looked at each other before Halibel opened her bag and pulled out a small piece of candy. She delicately unwrapped the confection and popped it in her mouth, making a show of savoring the chocolate and caramel. Emi just grinned wider at the sight of her idol 'enjoying' the candy before she turned to look at Tyn.

Suppressing a sigh, the raptor withdrew a lollipop from his bag, frowning as he examined it.

"Tootsie-Pop?" he asked as he unwrapped the bulbous end of the stick, confused. "What's a Tootsie-Pop?"

"Haven't you ever seen the commercials?" asked Emi. "They're always asking how many licks does it take to get to the center!"

"Huh…" mused Tyn thoughtfully as he finished unwrapped the candy. He stared at the red-colored ball for a second before shrugging and opening his mouth.

_***CRUNCH!***_

"The answer is zero." said Tyn as he casually ground the hard candy shell into dust with his teeth.

"Cool!" Emi cheered him.

"Oh my God!" Miyo cried. "You're going to break your teeth like that!"

"I have tough teeth." shrugged Tyn, swallowing the remains of the hard shell and the decidedly-more chewy center whole. "Strong jaws, too."

"B-but…" stuttered Miyo, obviously worried for her neighbor's health and safety "You should really see a dentist after that."

"Why?" asked Tyn, sounding more annoyed than confused by the concern. Tia just elbowed him sharply before jumping in to smooth things out.

"Oh, he will." she lied, "I'll make sure of it. And Emi, don't imitate Tyn; it's very important to take care of your teeth, okay?"

"Okay, Miss Halle Belle." Emi nodded. "But that was still pretty cool!"

"So am I supposed to eat the stick, too?" asked Tyn, looking at the remains of the lollipop. Halibel just smacked him as Emi chuckled.

"No way, silly!" she chided him. "Just the candy part."

"Then why did they bother putting it on a stick?" growled Tyn. "It doesn't make any sense!"

Halibel just forced another friendly-grin, one that was far less convincing than the norm, as she grabbed Tyn's arm and began to drag him down the hall to their apartment before he could embarrass her any further. She waved to Emi and Miyo as Tyn continued to complain about the sheer pointlessness of the stick, with Emi happily waving goodbye to her two friends until they vanished from sight into their own apartment.

* * *

An irritated sigh escaped Ichigo's lips as he sat perched on the darkened rooftop, his legs dangling over the edge as he stared out at the city. He'd promised to stay up here all night, and even though he'd been coerced into giving his word by the intimidating _tercera_ residing a couple of floors below him, the teen intended to honor it no matter how pointless he found it.

Oh, he was actually pretty happy to see that the arrancar was concerned for the safety of a human child, a child who would have likely been on her menu a decade or so ago, but with so many other Soul Reapers patrolling the city streets tonight, camping on the roof seemed so completely unnecessary and utterly stupid. In a night laden with annoyances that he could do without, the last thing Ichigo had wanted was one more pain in the ass to deal with.

"Better safe than sorry, I guess…" he muttered to himself, trying to feel better about the entire situation.

It wasn't working.

He sighed again and sat his right elbow on his leg as he rested, leaning his shoulders forward and resting his tired face in his open hand, chin firmly in his palm as his fingers stretched up around his cheek.

"You look like you could use a drink."

Ichigo gave a startled cry at the new voice, losing his balance and falling forward off the roof. It took a split second to gather his wits and gather his spiritual pressure underneath himself, halting his fall down to the unforgiving concrete far below.

"You're too tense; you _definitely_ need a drink." commented the voice.

Ichigo scowled as he hopped back onto the rooftop, refusing to allow the other man's charismatic smile to dissipate his anger just yet.

Shunsui Kyōraku, however, remained completely unfazed by the teen's seething rage and his easy-going smile never wavered for an instant as he offered the substitute-shinigami a brown jug that was no doubt filled to the brim with sake.

"What the hell are you doing sneaking up on people like that?" snarled Ichigo, pushing the jug away as he resisted the urge to smack the flamboyant captain upside his head.

"Sorry; I didn't realize I was sneaking." apologized Shunsui sincerely as he opted to take a quick swig from the jug. "It's not like I was suppressing my spiritual pressure or anything. Thought you'd sense me."

"No, I'm the one who should apologize…" Ichigo sighed guiltily, "I was too caught up in my own head to notice you."

"Want to talk about it?" offered the captain, taking a seat on the ledge and patting the concrete beside him, gesturing for Ichigo to sit with him.

"It's just been a long, annoying night." said the teen gruffly, taking the offered seat. "I really think I hate Halloween."

"I love Halloween myself." said the captain, adjusting the tilt of his wide-brimmed straw hat. "Hate All Hollow's Eve with every fiber of my being, though."

"Not even sure there's a difference anymore…" said Ichigo before casting his gaze sideways to look at the elder man sitting with him. "What brings _you_ out tonight? I didn't think the captains usually participated in the All Hollow's Eve patrols."

"We usually don't, except for Yama-jii; I just wanted to talk to Urahara, catch up with him since it's been so long since we've had a chance to chat… Unfortunately, he didn't seem overly talkative and politely asked me to leave when a couple of guests showed up unexpectedly. I didn't even get to see who it was."

"Good ol' Kisuke; always keeping everyone in the dark about everything." Ichigo commented sarcastically. "He's a nice guy, but his penchant for keeping secrets gets really annoying."

"Indeed…" mused the captain as he looked out across Karakura Town. "So, now that I've told you why I'm here, why don't you share why _you're _sitting on a rooftop all alone instead of patrolling?"

"There's a kid in the apartment building…" Ichigo began slowly, cautious about revealing too much to the unnervingly-perceptive captain. "Sweet kid, low spiritual pressure, but I'm a little worried she might be a target tonight. I'd rather play it safe, you know?"

"That's nice of you." said Shunsui earnestly. "Kid's lucky to have a guardian angel looking out for her. Mind if I keep you company a bit?"

"No, of course not…" Ichigo said, relaxing a bit.

While the captain's sudden appearance had annoyed him at first, Ichigo did actually enjoy the company of the easy-going, friendly man beside him. Hell, Kyōraku had always treated him with respect ever since the beginning and that had meant something to the teen; while so many others had treated him with varying degrees of contempt in the early days of Ichigo's affiliation with the Seireitei, Shunsui Kyōraku had always treated him more like a peer and an old friend.

"I think we should start formally celebrating Halloween itself in the Seireitei as a way to offset the doom and gloom of All Hollow's Eve…" Shunsui began, offering Ichigo the jug again. "We may have to do it a day late or a day early, but I think a small party or celebration would be good for morale. I'm sure some of the others would disagree, but I'm also sure plenty of others would think it's a good idea."

"I'd bet every single thing I own that Nel and Rangiku would agree with you. I'd also bet Byakuya would adamantly be against it." grunted Kurosaki, finally accepting the offered jug and taking a long swig before handing it back. "God, that stuff's strong."

"You get used to it." shrugged the other man, taking the jug and downing a quick drink before handing it back to Ichigo again. "And I have no doubts about those three; I'm less certain about how most of the other senior officers would feel about it, though."

"Renji and Anrak will agree to anything that'll give them an excuse to drink." said Ichigo, taking another drink of the alcohol himself. "Soifon will hate the idea, but she'll probably vote for it purely because Yoruichi would want her to."

"Tōshirō will swear up and down that he hates the idea, but if there happens to be watermelon-flavored candy involved, he'll agree to just about anything." mused Shunsui, smiling as Ichigo took yet another drink.

"Isn't that a little manipulative?" asked the teen, excusing himself as he gave a slight hiccup and handed the jug back to it's owner.

"Oh, absolutely, but sometimes that's the best way to reach your objectives; it may not necessarily be honorable, but it's generally quick, clean, and easy. No fuss, no muss." agreed the captain with another smile, curiously not taking a drink for once. "As you get older, you'll realize that sometimes the best way to win a battle is with a little subtlety and guile rather than with brute force and determination."

"Sounds like something the Stealth Force would say…" grunted Ichigo as Shunsui handed the sake back to the teen.

"Doesn't make it any less true." said Kyōraku as Ichigo took another drink, "Doesn't make it any less true at all…"

* * *

A small group of exhausted and terrified twenty-somethings ran through the darkened and foggy woods frantically, desperately trying to escape the very embodiment of death that was nipping at their heels and thirsting for their blood. It was supposed to be a simple camping trip, a fun excursion for a small group of friends to enjoy together, but the rising of a full moon had abruptly put an end to innocent fun and brought with it horror beyond words.

Blood, still wet and glistening, adorned the faces of the fleeing, but it wasn't their own; instead, it was all that remained of one of their friends who had been so brutally torn apart right in front of their eyes.

They ran, screaming for help as the cries of their dying friend faded into the distance and, after several long and agonizing minutes, the woods went silent once more. He was dead, of that there was no doubt, and maybe, just maybe they could safely take a minute to catch their breath.

Half of the group wasn't willing to chance it, no matter how oxygen-starved their muscles were, and so they kept running. One woman decided that it was safe enough and she stopped, grabbing her boyfriend's arm and keeping him by her side.

"We need to talk…about earlier, about what you said…" she began, panting.

"_Now?!_" he asked, incredulously. "Now is _not_ the time to discuss our problems!"

"When if not now?" she pleaded. "Please, we can work this out-"

"Not here!" exclaimed the man, shocked, "Not now!"

"Yes, now, or don't you love me any-" she began, only to be cut off as the nightmarish beast erupted from the bushes behind her and pounced, ripping into her with savage fury.

"I thought this was supposed to be a horror movie…" grunted Tyn from his place on the couch as the bloody scene unfolded on the television screen. "This is more like a bad comedy."

"She completely deserved that…" said Tia unsympathetically, taking a swig of her beer. "Anyone that criminally stupid doesn't deserve to live."

"Maybe we should find something better to watch…" suggested Tyn. "I'm losing brain cells watching these idiots."

"Agreed." said Halibel, setting her beer down and picking up the remote. "We have a couple of hundred channels in our cable package so surely there's at least _one_ with a good horror movie on."

"People do some stupid things when they're running for their lives, but I've never seen anyone _that _retarded." said Tyn, picking up a heavily meat-laden slice of the pizza sitting on the coffee table in front of them.

"I'd like to kill her myself for being an embarassment to my gender." said Halibel darkly, searching through the channels.

"Do you ever miss it?" asked Tyn, his voice muffled somewhat from having a mouth full of food.

"Miss what, killing humans?" asked Halibel, arching a finely-manicured eyebrow at him.

"No…" clarified Tyn, washing down his food with a sip from his own beer, "I mean the chase. The hunt. The way we'd spend All Hollow's Eve if we were still lesser hollows."

"Not as much as you miss it, I'm sure." replied the blonde, finally settling on a channel showing a horde of zombies shambling about. "I did what I had to in order to survive; sometimes I got caught up in the thrill of the chase, but most of the time I found the effort annoying."

"I almost always enjoyed it…" said Tyn, the look in his eyes suggesting he was remembering some of his favorite hunts, "I don't miss the slaughter at the end of the chase that much, even if food always tastes better when it's marinated in fear, but I loved the hunt itself."

"You really are an animal, aren't you?" asked Tia, smirking at her roommate.

"So just out of curiosity, those few times you got caught up in the chase, was your prey bleeding?" asked Tyn, watching the smirk evaporate from Halibel's face as her cheeks reddened.

"So maybe we're all prone to falling victim to our animal instincts at one time or another…" said the Shark Queen, looking away.

"Don't be embarrassed." said Tyn, pulling her closer. "I like your animal side. I like it when you allow yourself to be just a little bit primal. I'd have loved to go hunting with you back then."

"I think maybe I would have enjoyed that, too…" said Halibel softly, laying her head against his shoulder as the zombie horde on television finally caught a stray human and began to dismember him.

"I guess as far as human holidays go, Halloween isn't _so_ bad…" Tyn said. "This…I could get used to this."

"Mm, me, too." agreed the blonde as a bloodcurdling scream erupted from the television. "This is actually kind of romantic."

"Should we be concerned that we don't have a normal view on the holiday?"

"Fuck normal." said Halibel. "Let the humans enjoy the holiday how they want, and we'll enjoy it as _we _want."

"I can live with that…" said Tyn, kissing the top of her head affectionately. "Happy Hollow's Eve, Tia."

"Happy Halloween, Tyn."


	38. Three Months

**Three Months**

"I'm not wearing this."

Halibel stuck her head out of the bathroom to see what her roommate was bitching about now and found him standing in front of the bedroom mirror growling at a black strip of fabric in his hand. She watched the redhead discard the tie over his shoulder and reach a hand up towards his short but neatly-combed hair, raking his fingers through and re-organizing it into the wild and spiky mess that he generally preferred. He reached up to begin removing his white button-up shirt next but stopped when he noticed Tia giving him an icy death glare that would have given even the stoic Ulquiorra pause had he been present.

"It's _not_ open for debate." Tia growled. "Leave the shirt alone and put that tie on."

Three months had come and gone since Halloween, bringing the end of fall and placing them in winter's icy grasp once more. Outside their apartment, a cold February wind blew through the streets and brought a frown to Tyn's face, a frown that was almost accompanied by a complaint but that died on his lips under another glare from Tia. The _quinto_ sighed in defeat and picked the black tie back up and resumed his attempts to tie it without choking himself as Halibel retreated back to the bathroom to finish up.

"Goddamn stupid human rituals…" she heard Tyn hiss from the other room.

Three months had come and gone, marking the end of the Espada's second year of living in Karakura Town and the beginning of the third. Three months had brought with it Tia's second Christmas in the human world, an event which had mercifully been infinitely better and more meaningful than the first. Three months had brought a second encounter with the human holiday of Valentine's Day to them as well and while the concept was still an irritation they could have done without, the tips earned at the bar had made it all worthwhile and this coming summer would finally give them their long-awaited vacation in Hawaii.

If she didn't strangle him before then, of course.

"Tell me again why we have to go through with this?" asked Tyn as he appeared in the bathroom doorway, his tie a mangled mess.

"Because it's expected of us." said Tia, annoyed to be explaining it again. "Weddings are a human tradition and if we want to appear to be normal-"

"I _hate_ that word." scowled Tyn, settling in beside her at the sink and reaching for his comb.

"And you think I don't?" asked Halibel. "Leave your hair… I'll give you that much, at least. We need to hurry up, though; I don't want to be late."

"Can't you just do this without me?" asked Tyn and Tia's answer was to smack his skull with her own comb.

The raptor fell mercifully silent and went back to fighting with his tie again as Halibel finished combing her hair and exited the bathroom in favor of the bedroom and it's full-length body mirror, checking her off-white dress to make sure everything was perfect. She was satisfied with her own appearance, but the mirror's reflection showed her that the jacket to Tyn's suit was lying in a messy heap in the middle of the bed instead of hanging neatly and there was no time to try and press it out once more.

Tyn may have improved a lot in the past year but he was _still_ an idiot.

"Hurry up!" urged Tia impatiently. At her call, Tyn came stomping back into the bedroom with the tie clenched between his teeth savagely as if he were trying to bite the offending object in half. He spit the mangled-looking black tie out on the bed and growled, folding his arms over his chest defiantly.

"That's it, I'm not fighting with that god-forsaken noose anymore." he said. "No one's gonna notice or care if I don't wear a tie."

"_I'll_ notice and _I_ care." countered Tia, picking the ravaged tie up and trying her best to straighten it out. "I won't have you embarrassing me in front of everyone."

"We don't have to do this, you know." Tyn said as Tia placed the black tie around his neck and began to fix it for him.

"We've been over this a hundred times already; yes, we do."

"No,_ we_ don't." Tyn countered. "_You_ have to because it's _your_ stupid friend, not mine."

"Kishi's invitation was for _both_ of us, moron." said Tia as she finished tying the black strip of fabric neatly, resisting the urge to choke Tyn with it for arguing with her again.

"The world won't end if we skip this stupid wedding." Tyn reasoned as Halibel handed him the slightly-wrinkled jacket to put on. "And she'll probably forgive you for missing it, just like Nel did."

"We only missed Nel's wedding because it was in the Soul Society and virtually all of the shinigami there sans her husband and Ichigo would have tried to kill us on sight." Tia reminded him as Tyn slid the jacket on. "Besides, it's just for a few short hours; you'll survive."

"The things I do for you, woman…"

* * *

The great thing about Saturdays was _supposed_ to be a person's god-given right to sleep in late, provided that they didn't have to go to work. It was supposed to be a day of fun and relaxation to do whatever a person felt like, with no particular schedule to adhere to. It was illegal for alarm clocks to be active on Saturdays, or at least it _should_ have been illegal.

A pair of blue eyes snapped open at the incessant buzzing emanating from the clock on the nightstand, a vein visibly throbbing in his forehead as Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez reached over and fumbled for the off switch. With a flick of his thumb the switch went to the off position and the noise came to an end and the _sexta_ gave a sleepy smile as he turned over and attempted to go back to sleep. His irritation had begun to subside and his breathing was becoming slow and even as his eyelids grew heavier…and then the clock began buzzing again.

He roared loudly as he flipped back over and sat up, snatching the clock up angrily and hurling it at the far wall with all the strength his gigai could muster. The cheap plastic device exploded against the wall, tiny shards of black plastic, circuitry, and batteries flying about as Grimmjow laid back down and stared at the ceiling, seething.

But the clock was gone now and there was nothing to keep him from sleeping in as he closed his eyes and…

"Meow?"

His eyes snapped back open to find the white-furred form of Lord Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez the Second, Esquire, sitting beside his head and peering down at him.

"Not you too, Junior…" groaned the arrancar, pulling his pillow out from under his head and holding it over his face.

"Meow?"

"Go away." came Grimmjow's muffled voice.

"Meow!" was the reply he received, only the tone didn't match 'Junior' and came from the direction of the nightstand. Grimmjow lifted the pillow off his face and turned his head, only to see that damnedable black cat sitting on the nightstand, peering at him curiously.

"You again?" he roared as he sat up. "How the fuck did you get in here this time, you little furball?"

The cat's answer was to stick it's tongue out at him and the infuriated Espada lost the last of his patience as he flung himself out of the bed, reaching towards the creature with every intent of catching it and chucking it out the window as hard as he could. He didn't mind feeding the neighborhood strays but his patience was limited, especially considering that the black cat had somehow managed to infiltrate the apartment numerous times in the past three months.

The cat, of course, deftly managed to dodge the attack as Grimmjow went crashing to the floor, knocking over the nightstand and the lamp as he went. He picked himself up quickly and whirled around, looking for the offending cat and saw only Junior still sitting on the bed looking thoroughly confused. The windows were locked tight and the bedroom door was shut so the black cat had to be in the room somewhere but his search turned up nothing, leaving a tired and frustrated Grimmjow to collapse face-down on his bed and wonder if he was finally going crazy.

Sure, the others had accused him of being insane for years and that had never bothered him, but the concept of going crazy in the delusional sense was another matter and to make things worse, this wasn't the first time he'd been awakened by a black cat that seemed to appear and disappear at will.

"I'm not going to get back to sleep now…" he growled as he picked himself back up and wandered over to the closet, reaching in and pulling out a clean change of clothes and slung them over his shoulder. Still grumbling curses under his breath, Grimmjow made his way over to the bedroom door and yanked it open violently as he made his way to the bathroom for a shower.

He turned on the small heater and turned on the shower to near-scalding as he stripped down and stepped inside the tub, pulling the curtains closed behind him and hoping the hot water would help him relax before the urge to kill something became too great to ignore.

And then he thought he heard the bathroom door opening…

But that should be impossible; there was no one in the apartment save for him and Junior and the small housecat certainly couldn't open doors-

"You're not going to use _all_ the hot water, are you?" asked a voice and Grimmjow groaned as he began to smack his forehead against the tiled wall repeatedly.

Yoruichi Shihōin had broken into his home. Again.

"Why won't you leave me alone, woman?" asked Grimmjow over the sound of the water. "Do you _want_ me to kill you?"

"Why are you always so hostile?" asked the ex-captain on the other side of the curtain. "And here I thought we were friends…"

"You keep breaking into my apartment!" exclaimed Grimmjow. "That doesn't make us friends! That makes you an insane nudist!"

"And how do you know I'm nude today? You haven't even peeked out here to check."

Against his better judgment, Grimmjow pulled the shower curtain back just enough to poke his head out and take a peek. To his surprise, the bizarre woman wasn't nude for once…though she had apparently decided to borrow his hockey jersey and sweat pants again without asking.

"What are you doing wearing _my_ clothes?" seethed the _sexta_, fumbling around behind the curtain for something, _anything_ to throw at the woman.

"You didn't really think I'd be wandering around in the buff in this cold, did you?"

"Then wear your own damn clothes!" hissed Grimmjow as his hand finally found a half-empty bottle of shampoo that he flung at the former shinigami. To his chagrin, Yoruichi easily plucked it out of the air long before it impacted with her head and she held the transparent bottle up appraisingly, checking the brand and ingredients of the greenish goop inside.

"Not my usual brand, but it will do…" she said casually. "And I'm wearing your clothes because I like them…especially this shirt with the cute little cat on it."

"How many times do I have to tell you, it's a _jersey_, woman!" roared Grimmjow as he snatched the curtain back and put a leg up on the edge of the tub, shaking an angry fist at her as he tensed up and prepared to launch himself at the unwelcome intruder. "And that 'little cat' is a mighty panther, just like me!"

"Mighty panthers don't do so well in the cold, I see…" mused Yoruichi with a mischievous grin as she looked at Grimmjow, unfazed by his outburst. Realizing what she was staring at, the embarrassed Espada stepped back into the tub and yanked the curtain shut once more, growling angrily.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" asked a defeated Grimmjow from behind the curtain. "What the fuck have I done to deserve this?"

"It would take a week to list everything and I thought you wanted me to leave…" the dark-skinned woman shot back.

"I hate you." hissed the Panther Lord as he heard the curtain rattle from behind.

"Don't be like that." admonished the now-nude Yoruichi as she stepped into the shower with him, shampoo bottle still in hand. "You're never going to make any friends with that attitude and-"

"What the hell are you _doing_, woman!" screeched Grimmjow, backing up against the tiled wall in shock, eyes wide as he took in the sight of her curves. "At least wait your own goddamned turn!"

"You're taking too long and using up all the hot water." shrugged Yoruichi, pushing him out of the way as she stepped under the showerhead. "And keep your hands to yourself unless you want to sing soprano for the rest of your very short life."

"And you Soul Reapers think _I'm_ evil…" muttered Grimmjow as he pulled the curtain back and stepped out of the tub, snatching his towel off the rack and beginning to dry himself off.

"It's not that bad, Grimmjow…" Yoruichi said soothingly. "As a reward for being _almost_-nice, I'll let you take me out to lunch today!"

The sound of Grimmjow's forehead banging against the bathroom door repeatedly was his only response.

* * *

Fun.

Ask a hundred people to describe what they consider to be fun and one was likely to get a hundred different answers. Fun was subjective, unique to each individual on the planet and with a fresh blanket of snow enveloping the earth outside, Orihime Inoue had a hundred different ideas of her own that she would have considered fun.

This was not one of them.

She smiled regardless as she cast a sideways glance at the silent Espada who stood beside her, diligently reading the information on the little plaque before him. Ulquiorra Cifer, it seemed, would define fun as the pursuit of more knowledge rather than building a snowman like Orihime would have preferred.

The teen couldn't complain, she supposed; for the entire time that Ulquiorra had been living with her, not once had the _cuarto_ declared that there was something he wanted to do, something that interested him. He'd always dutifully followed Orihime's lead when it came to choosing activities, regardless of his personal thoughts on the matter.

It had taken two years of living in Karakura for Ulquiorra to finally announce that there was something he wanted to do and Orihime wouldn't deny him that for anything.

Still, the Karakura Museum of History wouldn't have been her first choice.

The recently-expanded and renovated museum had reopened to the public just a week earlier and Ulquiorra had surprised the teen by stating simply that he wanted to see the new exhibits.

Ulquiorra actually _wanting_ to do something… Orihime considered that to be a miracle of sorts, even if she wasn't particularly enthused with his choice.

The two were currently browsing through the exhibits on the two world wars, idling making their way past relics and photographs from the first world war up to the second. Of all the exhibits in the museum, it was the war-related ones that troubled Orihime the most; hadn't there been enough fighting in the world? Not only that, but the memories of the Winter War and the struggle against Aizen were still fresh in her mind and anything pertaining to war served only to keep them vibrant and alive.

"You are uncomfortable here." commented the Espada gently.

"I'm fine, really." Orihime lied, offering him the brightest smile she could manage.

"You need not lie; you may go on ahead to the Natural History wing if you wish and I shall be there shortly."

"I'm not leaving." huffed Orihime, slightly upset that he would even suggest that she abandon his side. "I'm fine."

"I apologize if I offended you." offered Ulquiorra as he paused in front of a wall of black and white photographs from the war, taking them in carefully.

"It's okay…" Orihime sighed. "I just want to be here with you. I mean, this is the first time you've wanted to do something and I want to be supportive."

"But…" prompted Ulquiorra, never taking his eyes off the photographs.

"But war upsets me…" admitted Orihime. "And these pictures don't help. Look at some of these! How could any one person _do_ this to another?"

"Different reasons for different people: some truly believed in their cause, some were swept up by the violence around them, some lost their mind, and some were genuinely evil. I was simply following orders, though that is hardly an excuse." said Ulquiorra softly.

"I'm talking about the second world war, Ulquiorra, not the war with Aizen." said Orihime, not wanting her companion to reflect on his own sins from the Winter War. Ulquiorra didn't acknowledge her as he continued to scan the photographs however, prompting Orihime to sigh. She looked back at the pictures on the wall herself, noting the faces more than anything: people celebrating victories, people mourning the fallen, people in pain and suffering, people who looked…familiar.

Orihime frowned, focusing on one picture in particular. A group of dirt-covered, malnourished, and barely-clothed prisoners stood in shackles inside a concentration camp, their eyes empty and dead from the horrors they had already witnessed and the knowledge that their own deaths were coming soon. One of the obviously-mistreated prisoners was a fairly tall young woman in her early twenties, with long flowing hair and an eerily-familiar face.

The lack of color in the picture threw her off momentarily but it only took a few seconds for the image to click together with a much more recent memory of the exact same woman.

"Oh my God…" breathed Orihime as she reached out and touched the picture. "Ulqui, look…"

"What have you found?" asked the pale arrancar, taking a step closer to her and peering at the photograph.

"It's…Nel." said Orihime, her eyes welling up with tears of sympathy for the woman. "Look at it…it's her, I know it is! Ulqui, that's a death camp!"

Orihime saw his eyes widen by a tiny fraction, a change in his expression so miniscule that only the people who truly knew Ulquiorra would have ever recognized it. Orihime had hoped that her companion would be able to point out that she was mistaken, that somehow it wasn't really Nel…but the face and hair were unmistakable and Ulquiorra didn't dare correct her.

The mere thought of kind and gentle Nel spending her last mortal days in such a nightmarish hell…it was heartbreaking to Orihime and she grasped Ulquiorra's hand tightly for support. How could anyone be so beastly as to put another human being through that? It didn't make sense! It wasn't fair!

"Such places would have bred many hollows…" observed Ulquiorra quietly, squeezing her hand gently. "No doubt that when Neliel perished there, she failed to cross over to the Soul Society and her sorrow and despair at being trapped in the camp would have destroyed her human heart."

"Ulqui, maybe we should tell her… She has a right to know what happened…to know how she died."

"She has suffered enough." said Ulquiorra firmly. "Urahara was correct when he told us that Neliel was better off not knowing her past and I do not wish to disrupt that. We saw nothing."

"You're not as emotionless as you let on; you really _do_ care about your friends, don't you?" asked Orihime, wiping a tear away as she hugged him tightly. The Espada didn't answer as he instead led Orihime away from the wall of photographs and ventured deeper into the museum, but she knew the answer anyway.

Ulquiorra finally understood what it meant to have a heart.

* * *

Halibel stood in a small cluster of women at the wedding reception, scowling as she considered that Tyn may have had a point about the two of them skipping the wedding.

The notion of nuptials was a foolish one to begin with, but mixing the ceremonies and traditions of two different cultures had turned an already-stupid idea into a mind-numbing Hell that the _tercera_ swore she would never willingly endure again. The logic of trying to appease both Kishi's family and her would-be husband's American family was lost on the Espada, leaving her to wonder why any of it was necessary at all.

The excruciatingly-long walk down the aisle had been overstuffed with pageantry and the vows the two lovers had made had been so sickeningly-sweet that Tia had begun to feel physically ill. Tyn, of course, had fallen asleep in his seat, head lolled to the side as he dozed. Halibel hadn't bothered to wake him until the end of the ceremony as everyone began to move to the hall for the reception, a reception that began with the traditional sake ceremony between the bride and groom.

She'd been embarrassed beyond words when Tyn had called out that he preferred beer mid-ceremony.

A few of the guests had chuckled at the outburst, as had the bride and groom themselves, but the bulk of the guests had given the two arrancar dirty looks that _should_ have silenced anyone.

Anyone _except_ Tyn, who had seen fit to defend his position and finish his rant by asking where they were hiding the "good stuff." While she readily agreed with his preferences, this was hardly the time or place to voice them and Tia had been forced to spend the rest of the ceremony with her hand cupped over his mouth to keep him under control, her face flushing red with embarassment the entire time.

And now, Tia found herself stuck in the middle of a group of single women who were anxiously awaiting the bride's bouquet toss.

Another pointless tradition, this one done more for the appeasement of the husband's family than anything else; Halibel wanted nothing to do with it for herself, but her conscience would hardly allow her to refuse the bride's urging of "go on, it'll be fun!"

Superstition seemed to dictate that whichever woman caught the bouquet would be the next to wed and that alone was enough to make Tia decide that she would simply stand there and let the other women scramble to catch the brightly-colored flying flowers.

Or at least that _had _been the plan…but as she watched the other women mindlessly scramble over each other in an effort to catch it, Tia had begun to scowl and move on her own accord, never realizing her mistake until it was too late. The other women were so desperate to catch the bouquet that they perceived everything as happening quickly but to Tia's well-honed senses, time had slowed to an agonizing crawl; as the bouquet sailed through the air, gracefully tumbling end over end in a slow arc, she couldn't understand why the others couldn't see how easy it would be to simply reach up and casually pluck it from the air…

Oh.

_Shit._

The other women all cheered Halibel's catch, each oblivious to the look of horror that crossed the Espada's face as she realized what she had unconsciously done.

Tia dropped the bouquet as if the offending object had burned her, desparately hoping that it would somehow void the catch and spare her any unwanted attention, but it was too late as Kishiko rushed forward to hug her friend, excitedly babbling about how she couldn't wait to attend Halibel's wedding.

The Espada forced a smile, wishing all the while that she had listened to Tyn and simply stayed home.

Off to the side of the room, Tyn snorted at his roommate's mistake, chuckling to himself as he wandered over to the snack table and began to fix himself a plate of food, making sure to avoid the numerous disgusting sweets that seemed to be everywhere. The single males all began to gather around for the ceremonial garter toss and Tyn refused to be a part of it; he would _not_ repeat Tia's mistake for anything. One of the others had come over and tried to pull him into the group but a deep, threatening growl from the _quinto_ had driven the human away.

"Stupid humans…" grumbled Tyn as he turned his back to it all and began poking at what he hoped was ham. God, even the meats smelled as if they were saturated in sugar!

He heard the 'snap' of the garter's elastic as it was launched into the air but he didn't care enough to turn around and see who caught it; all he wanted was for this entire mess to be over with so he could go home and enjoy the rest of his weekend away from stupid human rituals and traditions.

And then the frilly little garter came down and landed in the middle of his plate.

The only thing louder than the cheers of the other guests was the explosion of profanity coming from the lucky winner himself.

* * *

Winter in the Soul Society were generally much warmer and more pleasant than winter in the world of the living and this year, the only hint that it even was winter was the cool breeze now blowing through the winding streets and alleyways of the Seireitei. It felt more like early fall to the shinigami who lived there, save for the many trees that were now completely barren and awaiting the return of spring.

Neliel stood on the roof of one of the many small supply sheds that sat on the perimeter of the Division 13 training grounds, savoring the feel of the cool breeze as it rustled through her long hair and sent the ends of the green sash tied at her waist fluttering about. The fresh air made her task today infinitely more tolerable as down below, some three dozen shinigami were diligently practicing their kidō as she observed, a clipboard in her slender hands as she carefully monitored the young Soul Reaper leading the exercises.

Normally the task of leading the squad through kidō practice fell to Fifth-Seat Rukia Kuchiki, but the past week had seen a revolving cast of young would-be officers filling that role, as well as similar roles in sword arts, hand-to-hand, and physical conditioning. It was all outside the norm of how the squad usually functioned, but there was a good reason for the current state of affairs.

Two junior officer positions had recently become available in the squad and the list of candidates who met the requirements to even _be_ an officer spots had been reduced to five individuals, one of whom was now leading the kidō exercises. All week long, both Neliel and her captain had been giving the five potential officers more and more responsibilities, gauging how well they handled their assigned tasks by quieting standing off to the side and observing their methodologies and attitudes.

Down below, one of the new recruits bungled a spell by reciting the incantation wrong, a simple mistake that made the ball of energy in his palm flicker and fizzle out like the dying flame of an old candle. A typical rookie mistake was all it was, one that Nel had already observed countless times since accepting the position of Lieutenant, but the acting-instructor leading the exercises began shouting at the younger soul reaper, berating the kid and asking if he was mentally incompetent.

Nel scowled and prepared to come down to intervene just as the belligerent instructor remembered that he was under observation. He cast a quick glance up at the lieutenant and gave a nervous, guilty grin as he softened his tone and apologized to the recruit before gently reminding him of the proper incantation.

But the damage had already been done and Neliel scribbled down the incident on her clipboard and marked the shinigami's name off the list of officer hopefuls; that kind of bullying might be tolerated in some of the other divisions, but Neliel swore that so long as she was a lieutenant it would _never_ be acceptable in her squad.

When she looked up from her clipboard she noticed that the group had all paused in their training to look up at her expectantly; despite the best efforts of her and her captain to keep the evaluations a secret, word had gotten out about the open officer positions and the squad had already managed to figure out the short list of candidates among themselves.

Neliel shook her head at the Soul Reapers down below, wordlessly conveying her disappointment in the instructor and essentially confirming that he was no longer in in the running for a seated position. She saw a handful of the newer recruits exhale a sigh of relief, including the young recruit that had just been humiliated in front of his peers.

With a wave of her hand, the lieutenant dismissed the group to go take their lunch break as she turned and hopped down from the roof to go confer with Captain Ushii about the new development; she knew that Anrak wouldn't question her decision but he would want to know the details behind it as soon as possible.

She wasn't surprised to find the former-candidate waiting for her when she landed.

"Lieutenant, let me explain!" he pleaded as he fell into step behind her, but Nel only shook her head again as she continued walking towards the office, leaving the large dirt ring that composed the outdoor training area for the covered wooden walkways leading deeper into the heart of Division 13.

"There's nothing to explain; you humiliated and insulted one of your fellow squad mates for making a mistake. I won't tolerate that in _my_ squad, especially from a seated officer." said Neliel firmly.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant! I know I screwed up but I can do better!" he continued to beg. "If you'll just give me another chance-"

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to…" Nel pointed out gently, pausing under an uncovered section of the walkway as she turned to face him. "Look, there's always next time. Work on your patience with your juniors and wait for that day; when you learn to be a role model instead of a bully, you'll make officer."

"Yes, ma'am." sighed the younger shinigami in defeat, slumping his shoulders. "I'll apologize to him at lunch and work on my self-control."

Nel favored him with a gentle smile and a nod as he excused himself and she returned to her clipboard, mulling over which of the four remaining candidates she wanted to have take over the kidō group after lunch.

"_Your_ squad?" asked a voice from above, startling the ex-Espada and making her jump backwards with a surprised yelp as she dropped her clipboard. She looked up and found Anrak perched on the roof in a low crouch, idly resting his forearms on his knees as he looked down at her. "And here I thought it was _our_ squad…well, mine actually, if you really want to be technical about it."

"You know what I mean." said the lieutenant, giving a wry smile at the playful tone of her captain.

"Hai, love, I do; I'm just teasing. I'm glad to see you finally becoming more authoritative with the squad."

"Well, I don't like bullies…" explained Neliel as she stooped down to retrieve the clipboard she'd dropped. "I don't want that kind of behavior in my…_our _unit."

"No arguments here; I'd like to spare these kids from the same kind of experiences I had to deal with. I think you handled the situation nicely."

"Speaking of the situation, have you been spying on me this whole time?" asked Neliel suspiciously.

"Not intentionally…" said Anrak as he hopped down to join her, the sleeveless white haori fluttering out behind him. "I was just on my way back from Squad 8… I wanted to talk to Shunsui about the joint-squad exercises in a couple of weeks, but apparently he has the day off and no one seems to know where he's hiding. I thought I'd drop by and see how your group was doing on the way back to the office."

"Captain Kyōraku not working? I'm shocked." said Nel, putting a hand to her chest in mock surprise.

"Your flair for sarcasm is improving, I see…" observed Anrak with a smirk.

"I blame you." said Neliel with a smile, leaning against him heavily.

"_I _blame Rangiku and my crazy sister." said the captain, kissing her lightly as he slipped an arm around her slender waist.

"Hey, they've taught me a lot since I've been here!"

"That's what scares me." shuddered Anrak.

"Ha ha." Nel said, sticking out her tongue as she handed the clipboard to the captain for his approval. "I've got a sheet for each of our candidates there but I'm going to go put his back into the file and remove his name from the list."

"Good call… Very detailed notes for everyone." nodded Anrak approvingly as he flipped through the pages before pausing on the last sheet. "I see you're keeping the _other_ list with you, too."

"Well…" Neliel began, blushing as she put a hand over her slender belly. "I know it hasn't happened _yet_, but it's never too early for us to start planning ahead, is it?"

"No, I guess not. But…"

"But what?"

"We _really_ need to come up with some better names."

* * *

This wasn't how he'd wanted to spend his Saturday.

Coyote Starrk paced back and forth in the living room of his apartment, alternating between running his fingers through his long hair, scratching the back of his head, talking to himself, and then rubbing his face in frustration. He was not accustomed to dealing with stress and making big decisions and the weight of it all was crushing the mighty _primera_, slowly driving him mad.

He stole a glance over at the phone, debating on if he should call one of the others for advice. He knew that Ulquiorra would offer the most wisdom but he was concerned that the other man would only speak from a purely logical point of view. Tyn would try and help, but that raptor didn't always stop to consider the consequences of his actions, so asking him would be a mistake. Halibel _might_ be able to offer some sound advice assuming she was in a decent mood…

"Or I could always call Grimmjow and ask his opinion…" muttered Starrk to himself before giving a short laugh at the absurdity of the notion.

He'd already tried to talk to Lilynette about the situation, but his younger-half had simply shrugged and said "it's your call" before excusing herself from the apartment to go hang out with Karin.

Starrk sighed and flopped down on the couch, giving the phone another hard look as he considered calling Keiko again. They'd originally planned to have dinner tonight, but a conversation the two had went through earlier in the week had come back to haunt Starrk, prompting him to call and cancel their date, stating that he didn't feel well. He hated to lie to the woman but he needed time to think, time to reach a decision.

"Should I tell her everything or not?" mumbled Starrk, leaning back on the couch and staring at the white ceiling.

Things had been going very well with Keiko over the past several months, better than Starrk could have ever anticipated. Hell, he'd even go as far as to say that he loved her…and therein lay the problem.

The apartment was big enough for Keiko to move in and her own lease would be up soon if she didn't renew the contract and while Starrk _knew_ she had been joking about moving in together during their conversation, it actually sounded like an appealing idea to him.

The problem, though, was that Keiko didn't know the truth. She didn't know who he really was. She didn't know _what_ he really was.

If he invited her to move in, he'd have to tell her for the sake of being honest. Failure to do so would be a betrayal of her trust and would make things increasingly difficult and uncomfortable if she should ever find out on her own somehow.

Lilynette _should_ have been here to discuss this with him since it concerned her as well, but the younger arrancar had grown fond of Keiko and didn't mind the concept of her moving in and neither did she care about being honest about their "condition" or not.

"I hope she cooks better than you do! Your food sucks, Starrk!" had been the most input the elder Espada had managed to get from the girl.

Starrk rubbed his face again repeating the question once more, "Should I tell her or not?"

His answer came in the form of someone knocking at the door.

He lifted his hands from his face and turned to face the sound, cocking his head slightly at the timing of the knock as the sound repeated itself. He sighed again, positive that it was Keiko coming to check on him. Starrk didn't want to have to explain to her that he wasn't really sick or that he'd cancelled their date in order to have some time to think, lest that arouse her suspicions.

Of course, he couldn't just ignore the knocking at the door, either.

Starrk pushed himself up from the couch and made his way over to the door, undoing the lock and swinging it open, but the visitor on the other side was most certainly _not_ Keiko.

"You…" breathed Starrk, instinctively taking a step backwards and desperately wishing he hadn't left his soul candy on his nightstand.

"What, did you forget my name already? That hurts, Starrk." said the other man with a lazy drawl.

"Shunsui Kyōraku, captain of Squad 8…" said Starrk numbly. "Why are you… _How_ did you…"

"Ah, so you _do_ remember me! I feel better now." said the shinigami, inviting himself in as Starrk continued to back up. Shunsui closed the door behind him and sat the sack he was carrying down on the floor before ambling around the apartment, inspecting it thoughtfully. "Nice place you've got for yourself… Not bad for a guy that's supposed to be dead."

Starrk kept his eyes locked on the soul reaper as he inched his way towards the bedroom and his soul candy, but the captain was nobody's fool and moved to intercept, standing between Starrk and the bedroom door.

"You could at least say 'hello,' you know." said Shunsui, giving one of his disarming smiles. Starrk stared at him hard and it took a moment for the Espada to realize that the other man was in a gigai and thusly unarmed. Shunsui's loose-fitting blue jeans, dark green long-sleeved shirt and black winter coat were a definite contrast to the black shihakushō, white captain's haori, and pink haori he'd been wearing last time they'd seen each other. The only thing about Shunsui's clothing that remained the same was a ridiculous-looking straw hat that looked nearly identical to the one he wore as a soul reaper.

"Why are you here?" asked Starrk, relaxing slightly from the knowledge that the shinigami was currently in no position to do him any harm. "And how did you know?"

"What, can't a man drop in and say hi to an old friend?" asked Shunsui, sounding almost offended by the first question.

"You tried to kill me." Starrk reminded him curtly.

"It was war; I had to protect Karakura and the Soul Society." Shunsui said dismissively. "Besides, '_tried_ to kill' implies that I failed, and seeing that you are indeed alive and well…well, as alive as a spirit being can be anyway, I don't see what the problem is. Not like I ever had anything against you personally, but I think you're smart enough to know that."

"Explain how you found out about me, then?" Starrk countered. "How did you know I survived?"

"Because I'm not as clueless as people like to think…" said the captain, swiftly making his way back over to the door the retrieve the sack he'd sat down. "See, a few months after the war and your 'death,' I noticed Ichigo acting kind of strange, the kind of 'I know a secret'-strange. I didn't think too much about it at the time…until around last Christmas, when I observed the _exact_ same sort of behavior surface in Lieutenant Odelschvank-"

"Nel, you mean."

-Lieutenant Nel, yes, and Captain Ushii. Around the same time, those two also threw a small Christmas party in the Squad 13 mess hall. While there, I saw that even Urahara was acting stranger than usual, such as excusing himself to take a phone call mid-party when pretty much everyone he knew was already there… All very odd behavior, you see?"

"So you went investigating…" Starrk concluded and Shunsui grinned as he shook his head.

"Not exactly…too much trouble to do it that way." he said, pulling a large jug of sake out from the sack. "Alcohol, on the other hand, is great for getting people to talk."

"And I'm willing to bet Nel can't handle her liquor."

"I started with Anrak first, but the problem there was that by the time he was drunk enough to start talking, _I _was too drunk to remember to ask him anything. Urahara was next, but he was a little too suspicious of me to share a few drinks." Shunsui explained conversationally, "I was going to try sweet Neliel next, but then I thought it might look a little inappropriate if I were to invite another man's wife out for a few drinks… I really didn't want to cause a misunderstanding and stir up any drama with my friends, so I chose another target."

"Kurosaki, you mean." Starrk concluded as Shunsui nodded, chuckling.

"Despite all of his strength, the kid's a lightweight." confirmed the captain. "It only took a few drinks before I was able to coax him into telling me _everything_, including a few things about his relationship with Rukia that I really _didn't_ want to know about…kinda sad that after all he's accomplished, _she's_ the one who wears the proverbial pants."

"So it's all over for us then…" sighed Starrk, ignoring the commentary on Kurosaki's love life. "Two years is our limit. What's the plan; you guys coming in force to capture us or are we to be killed on sight? Are you here to appeal to me to give up peacefully?"

"I didn't say that I told anyone else…" Shunsui said easily as he went into the kitchen and began perusing Starrk's cupboards for a couple of glasses to pour the sake into. "When I say that Ichigo told me everything, I mean _everything_, like how you and the others regretted working for Aizen and that you just wanted to live in peace now…hell, the fact you all made it all this long without causing any trouble says a lot. Old Man Yama and the others wouldn't share my viewpoint, so I'm going to keep it a secret…unless you and the others do anything to endanger the innocent here in the human world, of course."

"Of course…" said Starrk, watching as the other man filled the two glasses with sake.

"Lot to take in all at once, isn't it?" asked Kyōraku, handing the arrancar one of the glasses.

"Considering everything else going on, yes, yes it is." said Starrk, chugging the liquor down unceremoniously.

"Woman troubles, am I right?" asked Shunsui, downing his own glass. "I know that look."

"It's complicated." Starrk said. "I don't think you'd understand."

"You clearly don't know who you're talking to; I am the most desired man in the Seireitei! I know all about women, my friend, and I can help you be every bit as suave as I am."

"I must be drunk already; it sounded like _you_ were claiming to be a ladies' man." snorted Starrk.

"Are you sure you're not evil anymore? That was very hurtful."

"It's not that I can't land a woman, Captain, it's-"

"Shunsui. Call me Shunsui." corrected the other man. "Come on, we're friends now, right?"

"Right… Look, I already have a girlfriend and I'm thinking about inviting her to move in with me and Lilynette."

"It's that blond girl, isn't it?" said Shunsui with a grin. "She's a beauty, that one."

"It's _not_ Halibel; my girlfriend is human." said Starrk.

"I see…" mused Shunsui, suddenly sounding more a bit more serious as he stroked his chin thoughtfully. "And I'm guessing the problem is that she doesn't know you're really a heartless, soul-eating undead monster from a land of eternal darkness that once tried to destroy this town and everyone in it, right?"

"That's about the long and the short of it, yeah…" sighed Starrk, sitting down at the kitchen table and pouring himself another glass of sake.

"Well, don't worry; I'll help you figure this out." smiled Shunsui, patting Starrk on the back.

"Thanks." said Starrk honestly, finally managing a smile. "This dilemma is driving me nuts."

"Hey, what are friends for?" asked the shinigami. "Just one thing first…the blond, is she-"

"She's taken."

"Damn."

* * *

Halibel wasn't sure how much more she could take.

The wedding ceremony itself had been bad enough and the ridiculous traditions of the bouquet and garter toss had served only to make a bad day worse and now, _now_ the other women were all gathered around in a little circle to 'ooh' and 'ahh' over each other's jewelry, particularly the new bride's wedding band and engagement ring.

Did the stupidity never end?

Tuning out the mindless prattle of the other women for a moment, Tia turned to see how Tyn was doing, hoping that he was managing to socialize with the other males without resorting to violence or death threats. All appeared to be well and try as she might, her sensitive ears couldn't hear anything stupid spewing forth from his mouth at this distance.

That was the good news.

The bad news was that he had made himself more comfortable, thus making the raptor stand out like an undignified cretin. He'd removed his suit jacket and tied it around his waist, having apparently also seen fit to untuck his white shirt, letting the tail hang loosely below the tied jacket instead of hiding it from sight. He'd rolled up his sleeves to the elbows and unbuttoned the top few buttons of the shirt, rolling the collar down to be more comfortable, something that had the added effect of showing off his gigai's new tattoo. The tie, of course, was nowhere to be seen.

God damn it.

Suppressing the urge to stalk across the room and smack the hell out of him, Tia turned back to the conversation about jewelry just as one of the other guests finished showing off her expensive-looking diamond necklace.

"We all wore our finest jewelry to look our best for Kishiko's wedding and _you_ show up wearing a cheap trinket from the beach…" said the other woman, clucking her tongue in disapproval as she reached up to take hold of the white shark's tooth dangling from Tia's neck. "You could have at least wore some _real_ jewelry instead of garbage."

"It's the most valuable piece of jewelry I own." Tia snarled, slapping the other woman's hand away defensively.

"Come on, girls, no fighting!" Kishi pleaded, stepping between them. "Leave Tia alone; that tooth has sentimental value for her! It was the first gift her boyfriend ever gave her!"

"Sentimental value? Ha!" scoffed the other woman. "It was a poor decision to wear something so tacky! All it does is show how little he cares for _you_ and you wear it like it's important! My diamonds show how much my husband loves me!"

"So how much a man loves you is directly proportional to how much money he wastes on shiny trinkets? Disgusting."

"It shows that my husband would do anything for me!"

"Would he now?" asked Tia coldly. "Let me guess; you think he'd kill for you, don't you? Most women seem to be under the impression that their mate would shed blood for her."

"Of course he'd kill for me! If my life was in jeopardy-"

"Tyn would turn this chapel into a slaughterhouse for no other reason than to put a smile on my face." Halibel said darkly. "Now tell me, whose mate is more devoted: yours or mine?"

"Ladies, calm down!" pleaded Kishi. "Don't do this on my wedding day, please!"

"You're right…" said Halibel, exhaling slowly and trying to release her irritation. "I'm sorry, Kishi."

"I have my husband wrapped around my finger!" sneered the snobbish woman, ignoring the bride's pleas for peace. "Watch!"

She held up a hand and waved for her man to come over, but he dumbly smiled at her and waved back before going back to talking with the other guys.

"Very impressive…" said Tia dryly. "You sure have him tamed, don't you?"

"Likes yours would be any better!"

"Let's test that." said the Espada, holding up her hand and pushing her thumbnail into the flesh of her index finger. "Keep your eye on Tyn."

"Tia, what are you doing? Oh my god, you're bleeding!" said Kishi as the thumbnail pierced the gigai's flesh, allowing a couple of tiny drops of blood to appear.

"Watch." said Tia simply.

Across the room, Tyn's head shot up, nose held up in the air as he sniffed once before whirling to face the group of women.

"He can't seriously smell that, can he?" asked Kishiko in amazement as the redhead began to make a beeline for their little circle, roughly shoving people out of his way as he quickly cleared the distance.

"It's some kind of trick-" began the other woman, only to be silenced as Tyn forced his way into the circle of women and seized Tia's hand, inspecting it carefully.

"What happened?" asked Tyn softly before looking up from her hand at the circle of women, his eyes darkening as he fixed his gaze on the woman Tia had been arguing with moments earlier. A low growl began to rumble from his throat, forcing the other women to step back from the possibly insane man.

"I'm fine, Tyn." Tia assured him. "I did it, not them."

The growling stopped and his eyes softened again as his entire posture relaxed.

"Can we leave now?" he asked as he turned back to face the Shark Queen. "If I have to go back over there and listen to those brainless monkeys keep boasting about how macho they think they are, I swear I'll be forced to hurt someone."

"Savage…" Sachi muttered under her breath from her spot beside the argumentative woman.

"Actually, I was just thinking the exact same thing…" Halibel told the _quinto_ before shooting an icy glare over at her co-worker and the argumentative hag from earlier. She then turned to face the bride one last time, a tinge of regret reflecting in her sea-green eyes. "I'm sorry for getting baited into an argument at your wedding, Kishi. I wasn't trying to ruin your day or upset you; I'm happy for you, you know."

"I know." smiled the other woman, hugging Tia tightly. "Thanks for coming, Tia; I know you think weddings are a waste of time and it really means a lot to me that you showed up."

"I think I'm going to be sick…" commented Tyn as Kishi released Halibel and turned towards him.

"And thank you for coming too, Tyn!"

"Please don't hug-" he began, but it was too late as the smaller woman wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He stood there awkwardly, trapped in the bride's embrace and looking to Tia for guidance, only to have the blond give him a smug smile as she drank in his obvious discomfort.

When Kishi finally released him, Tyn hurried for the door with Tia ambling behind him, smirking at his enthusiasm to get away from everyone. He retrieved their coats from the coat rack by the door, helping Halibel slide hers on and zipping it up for her before they exited the small church and headed for the car.

"Tyn…where's your tie?" asked Tia as she fished out her car keys.

"Tie? What tie?" he asked innocently.

"Don't play dumb; what did you do with it?" she pressed, but her companion remained silent and looked away nervously, a sure sign that he was guilty of something. "What did you do?"

"First let me say that it wasn't _my_ fault…" he began.

"Oh, god…" groaned Tia as they reached the car.

"See, one of the other guys was talking about all the things he wanted to do to 'that smoking hot blond' and I-"

"What did you do?" demanded the _tercera_.

"Relax; he'll be fine…mostly…when he wakes up…and someone finds him…and unties him."

"You're an animal." sighed Tia, shaking her head.

"But you _love_ it." the raptor countered, grinning wickedly. And as much as she _wanted_ to argue with him and tell Tyn that he was wrong…she couldn't. He was right and they both knew it, and all Tia could do was smile despite her best efforts not to.

"Yeah…I do."

* * *

"They grow up so fast, don't they?"

Kisuke looked off to his right at the other man standing there, watching his companion make a grand show of dabbing at his watery eyes in pride. The shopkeeper shook his head and turned back to watch the action out in the large training room before speaking.

"I still can't believe that you're okay with this." said the ex-captain. "You've always been so protective over the girls."

"Might as well let her; she wanted to do it and if she was told no…well, you know my kids, Kisuke."

"She is a lot more like her brother than she'd care to admit…" mused Urahara, adjusting the green-and-white striped hat he wore.

"Which is the other reason I said yes…" continued the other man, idly resting his left hand on the hilt of his zanpaktou. "You've noticed it, haven't you?"

"Her spiritual pressure has been getting stronger…yes, I noticed."

"Exactly. Hollows will be attracted by that and her brother can't always be here to protect her. I can't always be around, either, much as I might want to. It's better if she can take care of herself."

"I don't suppose I can question that logic…I just never thought I'd see this day come. Ichigo…I always _knew_ he'd end up taking this path, even from the first moment you brought him over here as a baby, but I never thought Karin would as well." said Kisuke.

"Kids do the damnedest things…" mused Isshin Kurosaki with a smile as he watched his daughter spar with the young arrancar in the massive training area. "Besides, this helps both of them get stronger."

"…and yet, you still haven't told her about your past as a shinigami." said Kisuke accusingly, glancing back at the shinigami standing in the shadows, letting the darkness conceal his presence from his daughter.

"She'll figure it out eventually…or Ichigo will tell her…when he finds out what she's been up to these past couple of months."

"You do enjoy drama in your house, don't you?"

"Absolutely! Keeps life entertaining!" chuckled Isshin. "I knew you'd call me when she approached you about helping her become a shinigami and I knew you wouldn't tell her about me…but honestly, I thought she'd contact you a little earlier once she found out who Lilynette really was."

"And of course you've known all along that your daughter's best friend was an arrancar…"

"Hey, I'm not half as stupid as I let the kids think." said Isshin as the two children in question continued their sparring. "I don't really care what she is; she's a good kid and that's all that matters to me. Karin needs a friend like her and she needs Karin…especially if she's serious about being a shinigami some day."

Kisuke nodded, remembering how Lilynette had stated her desire to be a shinigami at the same time Karin had approached him for help in becoming a soul reaper like her older brother. Both girls had caught him off-guard and it was hard to decide which one had left him more stunned. He supposed he should have seen Lilynette's declaration coming, given how much the girl admired Neliel and the way the elder woman had been showing up every few weeks just to spar with her.

Karin's request, though… All the shopkeeper could assume there was that Lilynette had expressed her desire to become a shinigami to the other girl and Karin had wanted to have the power to help her friend get stronger. It was possible that she wanted to be a shinigami simply because she wanted to be like her brother or because she didn't want him to feel the need to protect her anymore, but the timing of the request hadn't felt right for that.

Most surprising had been how easily Isshin had given his consent for Karin to undergo the extreme methodology used to bring forth her latent shinigami powers, but having heard Kurosaki's reasoning now, he could understand it better. At least the girl could learn in a much more relaxed environment than Ichigo had, he supposed; Karin and Lilynette were the same size, comparative age, and fairly evenly matched as opposed to Ichigo's method of throwing himself headlong into life-and-death battles with far more experienced foes.

Of the two girls currently sparring, Karin was the faster, that much was glaringly obvious as the match continued, perhaps a side effect of playing soccer for so many years. Lilynette was stronger though, and her powerful swings were keeping Karin off-balance, but Kisuke wasn't terribly concerned with their differences as he watched them; the more time they spent competing with each other, the better and more balanced they would become. In time, Karin would grow used to the sheer power of Lilynette's attacks and Lilynette would likewise adjust to better match Karin's speed.

Urahara wondered for a moment if Starrk would be as proud of Lilynette as Isshin was of Karin before dismissing the foolish thought; he knew the _primera_ well enough to know that yes, he would be proud of his younger half regardless of what she did. The only real question was if the young arrancar had even told Starrk what she was up to.

Knowing Lilynette, probably not.

"It should be a hoot when Ichigo finds out about Karin…" grinned Isshin mischievously, breaking the momentary silence. "The boy is always wound so tight about protecting everyone around him that this will blow his mind."

"I just wonder if he'll be angrier at me for helping her become a shinigami or you for allowing it…" said Kisuke. "Though I suppose either way, we'll _both_ get an earful when he finds out."

"It's worth it, though…" said Isshin. "Karin is learning how to take care of herself now and that's important."

"I think it's just as important that she has a friend at her level to learn with." said Kisuke. "That's an important bond, one that will last a lifetime no matter how much they each change."

"Kind of like me and Ryūken, you mean…" grinned Isshin, referring to his own tenuous friendship with the Quincy-turned-doctor. "He can be such a bastard sometimes, but even after all these years he's still my friend…probably my best friend, even if he does claim to hate shinigami. I should drop by the hospital and see if he's working tonight, pay him a visit…"

"I'll keep watch over the kids…about time for a break anyway. I think Nel's coming by next week to work with Lilynette…she'll be surprised to see Karin here."

"Make sure she knows not to tell Ichigo and ruin the surprise." instructed the elder Kurosaki. "I want to see how long it takes him to figure out something's up."

"You're terrible, Isshin."

"Hey, it's called 'tough love!'"

"I'll try and remember that as I watch your son stomp you into the ground."

"You're terrible, Kisuke."

"You're _both_ terrible!" declared the girls simultaneously, Karin delivering a jump kick to her father's chin as Lilynette mirrored the attack on Kisuke. Both men went stumbling backwards before falling on their rear ends, looking up at the two young teens in disbelief.

"How the hell are we supposed to concentrate if you two won't shut up?" demanded Lilynette.

"We weren't that loud…how did you know I was-" began Isshin, but Karin slammed a fist down on his head.

"What, you think I'm as dumb as Ichigo? Come on, dad!"

"I'm so proud of my baby girl! Do you know how long it took your brother to-"

"Can it!" said Karin, smacking him again. "You're not gonna sweet talk your way out of this!"

"Hey Karin, I think I just came up with an idea for these two bozos…" cackled Lilynette.

"Yeah?" asked Karin, her expression suggesting she knew full well what her friend was thinking.

"I think we just found some new sparring partners!" Lilynette grinned darkly as both girls drew their zanpaktou.

"Wait just a minute-" began Kisuke.

"_LET'S GET 'EM!_"

* * *

There was no justice in the world.

A thousand possible ways to spend the day, a thousand possible ways to enjoy himself, a thousand possible ways to spend his hard-earned money… All of that, and yet he ended up following Yoruichi around like an obedient puppy.

Grimmjow's right eye twitched as he trudged through the snow behind the ex-captain, dutifully carrying her bags for her, bags filled with goods purchased with _his_ money.

It wasn't enough that she kept breaking into his apartment and pestering him on a routine basis anymore, or enough that he had allowed the woman to talk him into taking her out for lunch today, no, she just _had_ to spend his money as well.

At least she had her own jersey now, leaving the Espada with some hope that she'd stop "borrowing" his.

"This is nice." Yoruichi commented, glancing back over her shoulder to make sure he was still following her. "Admit it, this is better than staying cooped up in your apartment alone all day like some sort of hermit."

"I hate you." Grimmjow replied bitterly.

"Maybe you do…" agreed Yoruichi with a long sigh as she returned her eyes to the snow-laden sidewalks. "But at least you're here spending time with me."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" growled Grimmjow, kicking small mound of snow hatefully, watching the powdery flakes go swirling about in the air.

"Kisuke doesn't spend enough time going out with me like this…" she admitted as the two neared Grimmjow's apartment building. "I can't remember the last time I managed to get him to take me out to eat… I remember _trying_ last year when a new restaurant opened up in town; I carefully pointed out how nice it was and that it was supposed to be a nice, romantic place…and instead of taking the hint, he commented that I should tell my brother so he could take Nel there."

Grimmjow narrowed his blue eyes at the thought of Neliel having a romantic evening with a filthy shinigami but said nothing as Yoruichi continued.

"So I finally just told him that _I_ wanted to go…and he asked if I would bring him back an order to go." she sighed, pausing just outside the run-down building's door.

"I thought he was supposed to be some kind of genius." snorted the _sexta_ as he marched up the steps.

"He is with anything other than women." clarified Yoruichi as she opened the door for him. "It's why we've only managed to have an 'on and off' relationship over the past century. It's frustrating."

"I wouldn't know." said Grimmjow sourly as he entered, leading her past the elevator that was out of order and to the stairwell. "The woman _I_ cared about married another guy."

"They're good for each other…" said Yoruichi defensively. "Even you have to admit that Nel would never be happy with you because of your attitude. You're just too different for each other."

"I admit nothing!" spat Grimmjow defiantly as he stomped up the stairs to his floor.

"Of course you don't…" said Yoruichi with a teasing grin before her face took on a serious, almost-sad expression once more. "A few years ago, Kisuke invited me to go to Tokyo with him for the weekend… You know, I actually allowed myself to believe that he was finally ready to be serious and give me the attention I wanted."

"Is there a point to all this? Why tell _me_ this shit?" asked Grimmjow, kicking open the door to his floor.

"We got there, got to the hotel where he'd booked our reservations, went to our rooms, our _separate_ rooms, and then he tells me we're there for a consumer electronics show instead of the romantic getaway I had envisioned."

"He doesn't understand how much you give a shit about him." said Grimmjow flippantly. "Maybe you should give up on the idiot and while you're at it, find someone who _isn't_ me to bitch about it all to."

"I'm no more ready to give up on him than you are on Nel." pointed out an irritated Yoruichi as they finally reached Grimmjow's apartment. "But I think you understand what it's like for me, don't you? Wanting attention from a specific person and never getting as much as you want."

"We're _nothing_ alike, woman." snarled Grimmjow, shoving the bags into her arms as he unlocked the door. "Nothing!"

"We're both surrounded by people who care about us but we're both still alone." said Yoruichi.

"Fuck 'em all." said Grimmjow as he opened the door. "I don't give two shits about anyone that ain't me."

"I don't believe that." countered Yoruichi. "You forget that I've been watching you; I _know_ better."

"So what do you want, then?" asked Grimmjow bitterly. "I ain't interested in shacking up with a soul reaper!"

"I thought that _maybe_ we could keep each other company for a while to alleviate that alone feeling." Yoruichi said coldly. "Don't misunderstand my actions for anything more than that."

"Not interested, lady." Grimmjow said with a cruel grin as he stepped inside the apartment and shut the door in her face.

His grin evaporated almost instantly as he looked around his apartment, realizing that only his cat was there to keep him company. Guilt began to tug at him, prompting Grimmjow to growl angrily at the confusing and unwelcome emotion.

_We're both surrounded by people who care about us but we're both still alone…_

His eye twitched again as he considered her earlier words more carefully; he knew the other Espada did care for him on _some_ level, though he wasn't sure why. He knew they'd be there for him if he were to ask for help, but that didn't make him feel any better. It didn't make the crazed nudist's words any less true.

_I thought that maybe we could keep each other company for a while to alleviate that alone feeling._

"I must be going soft…" mumbled Grimmjow to himself, shaking his head as he turned back around and opened the door, sticking his head out in the hall.

Yoruichi was already down at the other end, heading for the stairwell and before he realized what he was doing, Grimmjow had called out to her.

"Wait, stupid!"

The woman paused, turning back to look at him with anger reflecting in her eyes as she waited to hear what he had to tell her. "Look, if you want to hang here for a little while…I guess that's okay." he said, averting his eyes to keep from making contact with hers.

"What are you saying, Grimmjow?"

"Come on in and make yourself comfortable." he sighed reluctantly. "I'll get you a beer or somethin.'"

"Are you feeling okay?" asked the shinigami carefully, slowly making her way back down the hall to his apartment.

"Shut up before I change my mind, woman!" he roared. "And don't touch my stuff!"

"All right…" said Yoruichi with a smirk as she slid past him into the apartment. "Thanks, I think."

"Yeah, whatever…" was the Espada's gruff reply as he shut the door behind her and headed for the kitchen as Yoruichi went and sat her bags down near the couch. "Just…make yourself at home."

"Without touching your stuff."

"Exactly." said Grimmjow as he opened the fridge and reached in for a couple of cold beers in the back. He wondered if the others would see this behavior as "growth" for him or if they would agree with his personal assessment that he was simply going soft.

"Or maybe I really _am_ going crazy…" he mumbled as he pulled the two ice-cold bottles from the refrigerator and closed the door. He turned back around to offer one to Yoruichi and it was only then that he realized the mistake of telling the woman to 'make herself at home.'

"PUT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES BACK ON!"

* * *

Home.

Perhaps the sweetest-sounding word in any language in the world, 'home' was more than a place to rest and recharge; home was a sanctuary away from the never-ending stupidity of the outside world, a safe place where the stupid could never intrude without your permission.

"Home sweet home…" Tia sighed as Tyn shut the apartment door behind them and tossed his winter coat in the general direction of the coat rack, missing entirely as he immediately began to untie his suit jacket from around his waist.

"I am _never _wearing this garbage again."

"Says you." Halibel retorted as she neatly hung her own coat up and reached down to pick up Tyn's, placing it on the hook beside her own. "We'll probably have to attend more weddings in the future…funerals, too."

"Hooray." said Tyn sourly, draping his suit jacket over the back of the couch as he began unfastening the buttons on his shirt. "Let's hope not for another decade at least."

"At least we can both agree that we'll never put other people through that hell." said Tia, watching Tyn's back as he finished removing his shirt. She smiled softly at the tribal shark design tattooed on the back of his gigai's neck, once again appreciating the detail that had gone into it, including the small 'three' etched on it's side.

"Weddings are a ridiculous custom." Tyn complained. "If two individuals decide to mate for life, that's _their_ business; there's no need for all the stupid pageantry, the overly-long vows, and definitely no need for an audience. It shouldn't be a goddamn spectator-sport."

"And don't forget the rings…" Tia added as she went to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable. "An everlasting symbol of a couple's love, but they can be easily purchased and sold at will."

"Or lost, or stolen." Tyn added as he followed her into the bedroom, dragging the white shirt along with him and tossing it onto the bed as he made his way to the closet.

"And if they're lost or stolen, all they need to do is go buy a replacement. The rings aren't _nearly_ as special as people make them out to be." said Tia as she carefully began to pull the dress off.

"They should go with something more permanent if they really want it to mean something…" Tyn said, watching her strip. His eyes moved to the new tattoo on the small of her back, just above her succulent ass; a jagged-looking five that was bracketed by a pair of large, sickle-shaped claws, each with a string of three crimson feathers trailing out behind them.

"Something that can't be lost or stolen." Tia agreed readily as she gently laid the dress out on the bed and slid her oversized jersey on over her head. "Something that brands each with the other's unique mark in a way that will truly last forever."

Tyn smiled to himself softly as he turned back to the closet and pulled out a black t-shirt, putting it on. He kicked his black dress shoes off and began to remove his suit pants when he finally remembered the garter he'd caught and fished it out of his pocket, examining it carefully.

"You know," he began thoughtfully, "I still don't see why you wouldn't let me put this on your leg. Everyone said it was part of the tradition."

"Right, like I'm publicly going to allow you to get up under my dress and slip that on my leg with your self-control issues…" said Tia dryly. "Tell me, do the words 'lewd conduct' mean anything at all to you?"

Tyn's answer was a devilish grin as he drew back the garter's elastic band and launched it at Halibel, who deftly snatched it out of the air and smirked back at him.

Only a few months ago and Tyn would have most likely replied with a lecherous "sounds like fun" and while his smile had essentially said the same thing, the fact that he didn't actually verbalize it made a world of difference to Halibel.

It was another sign that Tyn, the _old_ Tyn, the one she still remembered so fondly from their days in Los Noches, was finally returning.

Halibel took the garter and placed it on her dresser before pulling out her most comfortable pair of pajama bottoms and sliding them on. She slid some fuzzy socks on to keep her feet warm before going back to the dress, picking it up and putting it on a clothes hanger, slipping a protective plastic wrap over it as she took it over to the closet.

"I still can't believe you felt the need to punch someone out and leave them hogtied in a closet over me…" said Tia, shaking her head as she stepped past her mate to hang the dress up. "Sometimes I think you're a little too possessive."

"Oh?" asked Tyn, raising an eyebrow as he removed his suit pants. "What about what happened in that new nightclub last weekend? You remember, the woman who kept flirting with me?"

"And pretending that I wasn't there? What about her?"

"You want to tell me what happened when she left to go to the bathroom and you followed her?"

"I had to use the restroom, nothing more." said Tia smoothly.

"You wanted to leave as soon as you came back…" Tyn pointed out as he put on a pair of clean sweat pants.

"I didn't like the place; I wanted to go to the bar down the street."

"And to the bar we went." Tyn agreed. "And then we both saw the ambulance going to the nightclub ten minutes later."

"Sheer coincidence." said Halibel dismissively as she headed back to the living room. "But if she _did_ happen to fall and hit her face on the sink or the mirror three or four times, I wouldn't shed a tear."

"And you say _I'm_ bad…" snorted Tyn as he began to gather up the pieces of his suit to hang them up in the closet.

Tia went into the living room and flopped down on the couch, picking up the remote and turning the television on. She glanced over towards the sliding glass door that led to the balcony, sighing as she noted that it was snowing again.

"I hate when it's too cold to go out and do anything." she said as she began surfing through the channels. Tyn emerged from the bedroom and looked out at the falling snow before grunting his own disapproval and joining his mate on the couch.

"Anything on?" he asked as he reached over and pulled her closer, holding her tightly.

"Trash, garbage, and crap; take your pick." said the blond, leaning her head against his chest.

Tyn thought for a moment before taking the remote from her and shutting the television off. He stood up and turned on the radio and grabbed one end of the couch, dragging it across the polished wood floor.

"What the hell are you doing?" asked Tia, confused as he began to turn the couch around to face the glass door. He hopped over the back of the sofa, neatly landing back in his seat and pulling Tia close to him once more as he laid back against the arm of the couch. Wordlessly, Tyn pointed out to the horizon and the slowly setting sun that was painting the gray sky, coloring it various hues as day transitioned into night. The snow was still falling gently as the radio filled the darkened apartment with soft music and Tia smiled warmly as she settled back into her mate's embrace.

"I thought you might like this." he said, kissing the top of her head affectionately. Halibel pulled the blanket that was lazily draped over the back of the sofa down, tossing it over their bodies instead to stay warm. She grasped his hands tightly, interlacing her fingers with his as she breathed out a long, relaxed sigh.

Home, it was said, was where the heart was.

It was good to finally be home.

**End**

**…**

**..**

**.**

_**Author's Notes:**_ Sorry about the late addition of two new chapters after the story was supposedly finished, but I hope it didn't detract from the flow of the overall story and that it instead helped bridge the gaps between this ending and chapter 35.

I hope it was an enjoyable run for everyone and that the changes felt (mostly) natural for the characters. I hope that Tyn felt like he actually_ belonged_ there rather than your stereotypical Mary Sue/Gary Stu character, that he felt like a natural member of the cast. Most importantly, I hope this ending brings some measure of closure and growth for each of the Espada (not to mention closure for the reader).

I never imagined this story would last this long; I expected to be finished around chapter 20 or so and that it would have a much smaller following than _Winter War_ had, but I kept getting new ideas.

It was never meant to be an action-epic, no major enemies to face; from the start, the idea was about how would hardened killers with no hearts adapt to such a radically new life? Think about the things we take for granted as being natural, events like weddings and birthdays, Christmas and working a regular job, and then ponder how a group of "monsters" would react to them for the first time. They would be confused and conflicted and they would of course make mistakes and blunders along the way, which I thought could make for a very sitcom-esque feel.

There are other things and situations I didn't touch on that could have been fun to see how the Espada try and deal with, and then there's the unusual situations that would throw even an ordinary human like you or me for a loop, events that take you out of your comfort zone and test your character…but perhaps those are best left for another time.

It was a questionable concept that I didn't expect to go over well, but the community here managed to both surprise and humble me. Thank you all for sticking with me to the end!

This is my last chance to shamelessly ask for feedback on this piece so I implore you to leave me something, preferably something substantial; I cannot hope to improve without feedback on what worked well and what didn't. If there was something you really liked or something you really hated, please tell me so I know what to do/not do in the future!

And if you haven't read _The Winter War: Anrak's Tale_ yet, please do; it may not be as well-written but it was my first and it sets up some of the characters and events we see here in _Masquerade_. And keep an eye out for my next offering!


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